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The SmarK RAW Rant–04.29.13

The SmarK RAW Rant – 04.29.13

I’ve noticed that my “Worst of Wrestling” Kindle book at 99 cents is by far the most popular one, so I dropped the price on almost all the other ones to 99 cents as well in case you want to give them a go. As a special promotion, the 2003 compilation will be FREE from May 1 – May 5, and the Worst of Wrestling will be FREE from May 5 – May 10, so you can try either of those out without shelling anything out. I’m probably going to try this as a pricing model now, where I’ll give them a few months at full price and then drop them later on. The new prices and promotion should come into effect tomorrow, and the full list of what’s available is here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Scott's+blog+of+doom&rh=n%3A133140011%2Ck%3AScott's+blog+of+doom&ajr=0

Live from Columbus OH

Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL & Jerry Lawler

Ricardo Rodriguez v. Zeb Colter v. Big E Langston

Winner of this trainwreck gets to pick the stipulation of the trainwreck at the PPV. Big E pounds on Ricardo while Uncle Zeb just stands on the apron. Probably wise. After a couple of minutes of punishment, Langston charges and hits the post, allowing Zeb to come in for an argument with Ricardo about who gets to “finish” him. And of course E recovers and Ricardo gets beat up again. Then suddenly the real wrestlers storm the ring and get rid of Langston, allowing Ricardo to roll up Zeb for the pin. So Alberto Del Rio gets to pick his stipulation. I suppose it’s better than letting people vote for it by Twitter. DUD

John Cena brings out some Make-A-Wish kids, because this is what his character has come to. Bringing out SICK KIDS to get a babyface pop. Sadly, I don’t think my dream of Brock Lesnar coming out giving the Make A Wish kids an F5 is going to come true.

Randy Orton v. Cody Rhodes

Orton is growing his hair back in, which might finally signal the heel turn he’s been wanting for like two years now. Orton works him over for the first few minutes and pounds away in the corner, but Cody manages to avoid the Garvin Stomp and gets his own stomps in the corner. Orton with a suplex for two and he drops the knee for two. Cody with a dropkick for two, but Orton comes back with a clothesline on the floor to set up the draping DDT, which Cody escapes. He also escapes the RKO and we take a break. Back with Orton unconscious on the floor, and Cody rolls him in for two and then chokes away, and it’s chinlock time. Kneedrop gets two as this JUST….KEEPS….GOING. Cody goes up with an elbow and then opts not to cover, instead going back to the top before getting brought down by Orton with a superplex. That gets two. Orton with his usual comeback and the draping DDT, but the world’s most telegraphed RKO attempt gets countered into the Crossroads for two. Disaster kick is reversed into the RKO for the pin at 16:44. I’m kind of intrigued by this notion of filling the endless hours of this show with lengthy matches, but I wish they would have something going on with either guy that they could have talked about during the match. ** Afterwards, we get a random interview by Matt Striker, as Orton has apparently never been so focused, but not so focused that he actually has a PPV opponent or anything. Oh, and poor Cody gets another RKO.

Brie Bella v. Naomi

Naomi gets a Thesz Press and pounds away, then puts Brie on the floor with a dropkick. Of course, the twins switch and Nikki gets the pin at 1:12. However, the other dancer complains and the black ref reverses the decision. That’s RACISM. Man, whoever had Brie Bella in their fantasy pool is gonna be PISSED. DUD

Well that was quite the first hour.

The Shield are out to discuss their ongoing war with the WWE injustices. This brings out 3MB for some reason and they get beaten down, and then Kane & Bryan make the save and then beat up 3MB themselves for some reason. So this is apparently leading to something, sometime, over some issue.

Meanwhile, Jerry Lawler orders a pizza. Last time he did that on live TV, he never got it and then I was left in suspense for DAYS wondering about the status.

Dolph Ziggler v. Kofi Kingston

Why would you even make this match? Neither guy should be losing and they’ve already wrestled probably a million times already, literally. Perhaps a billion. Kofi has pyro again so he must be getting a renewed push again. Ziggler with a headlock, but Kofi comes back with a back elbow and goes up. Ziggler dropkicks him off the apron and to the floor, and we take a break. Back with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock, but Ziggler gets a reverse neckbreaker and misses a blind charge. Kofi comes back with the boomdrop, but Dolph ducks the big kick and gets a DDT off it. That gets two. Kofi with the SOS for two. Trouble in Paradise gets two as AJ puts Dolph’s foot on the ropes, and Big E pulls him out to revive him. This allows Kofi to hit them with a dive, and back in for a cross body that gets two. Kofi goes after Big E and Dolph rolls him up for two, reversed for two by Kofi. Zig Zag finishes at 12:24. Kofi gets destroyed by Big E, as the secondary champion’s curse continues. Honestly, why would anyone even WANT to be US or IC champion at this point? Good match though. ***1/4

Meanwhile, AJ and Kaitlyn act all bitchy to each other, and Kaitlyn gets a mysterious spiked baseball cap from a secret admirer. IS THIS SHOW OVER YET? And whatever happened with Cody Rhodes?

Meanwhile, Ryback barges in on Team Brickie, and they take Cena out of the main event tonight and replace him with the tag champs. Ryback refuses but doesn’t elaborate.

PIZZA UPDATE: They check the computer and it’s been delivered, but people in the front row get it instead of the announcers. So yes, they booked a screwjob finish for a PIZZA DELIVERY.

Jack Swagger v. Zack Ryder

Ryder gets his usual zero offense, as Swagger hits a pair of Swagger Bombs before a third one misses and Zack actually gets a comeback with a baseball slide. Back in, Zack walks into a doctor bomb and the anklelock finishes at 3:00. 1/2*

TUG OF WAR! Mark Henry challenges the might of Tensai and Brodus Clay, and quickly squashes both of them at the art of tug. However, Sheamus interrupts, and the crowd is presumably like “Yes! Now this guy will show Mark Henry he’s not as strong as the record books list him as being!” Henry is about to win, but Sheamus lets go and then lays him out with the Brogue Kick instead. What a sore loser. First he interrupts Henry beating TWO GUYS in a fair fight, and then he attacks him after failing to beat him!

Meanwhile, we’ve somehow had the advertised main event turned into The Shield v. Team Hell No in a handicap match. Brad goes to see Cena, who INSISTS that he’s going to wrestle tonight, bad ankle or no, presumably because DYING CHILDREN are in the audience.

Alberto Del Rio v. Antonio Cesaro

They fight for a suplex and Cesaro wins that battle, the only win he’s had in months, but Del Rio pounds him with shoulderblocks in the corner. Cesaro goes to the arm, but Del Rio comes back with the backstabber and Cesaro bails to escape the armbreaker. And we take a break. Back with Cesaro in control with a double stomp for two, and a gutwrench for two. Forearm in the corner gets two. And we’re over to the chinlock. Ricardo has a very sad attempt to get people chanting for Del Rio, and that’s not happening. Del Rio comes back despite the crowd apathy, but Cesaro cradles for two. Del Rio with a german suplex for two. The crowd gets bored and starts singing as Del Rio goes up and lands on an uppercut, and then Ricardo gets even sadder by trying to start the same “Ole” chant that the crowd was just doing to repurpose it for Del Rio. This is like fourteen levels of pathetic. Cesaro with a rollup for two, but Del Rio turns it into the armbreaker at 13:40. No one gives a shit about Del Rio or whatever lame stipulation he’s choosing for the three-way. ** After all that, his choice is ladder match. How this benefits Del Rio, I have no idea.

DANCE OFF! Fandango v. Great Khali

More embarrassment here, as Fandango actually wins the crowd’s vote for his dancing, and then Khali is awarded the win anyway. And then Fandango attacks Khali and lays him out anyway. So are we supposed to like Fandango or boo him?

The Shield v. Daniel Bryan, Kane and John Cena

The babyfaces beat on Rollins in the corner and Bryan hits Ambrose with the kicks, and Kane comes in with a low dropkick for two. Kane misses the top rope clothesline and Rollins comes in with a double suplex for two, and we take another break. Back with Ambrose elbowing Bryan down for two, and Rollins gets dropkick in the corner for two. Rollins with an armbar and an enzuigiri gets two. Reigns with the chinlock and a samoan drop for two. Hot tag Kane and he hits Ambrose with the sideslam and follows with the top rope clothesline, but he goes outside and gets caught by an Ambrose DDT on the floor. So now Kane is your burned face in peril, but Ambrose talks smack and gets chokeslammed as a result. So it’s over to Cena, who comes back on the Shield, but walks into a spear and gets pinned at 16:28. Ryback glares at him ominously from the stage, apparently having been lured back to the arena by the promise of free pizza, and we’re out. Pretty weak Shield match, actually. **1/2

The Pulse

RAW moved to a five hour show so gradually I barely even noticed it happening.

Comments

  1. Thanks for being the only reviewer with enough balls to not jizz all over the Make-A-Wish segment. One comment I read said "you have to be cold to not like the Make-A-Wish stuff."

    Just call me Too Cold Scorpio, then.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As if a 3 hour Raw isnt enough, WWE is partnering with Yahoo for a 30 minute Raw Pregame show.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm curious what exactly there was to "like" about it anyway? John Cena brings out sick kids, that's nice. Why not put that kind of thing on YouTube or WWE Active instead of burning up 15 minutes of airtime with it? Oh, right, because then they wouldn't be able to do video packages about themselves and how great they are for doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So can we fucking just admit now, everyone, that Cena is WORSE than HHH and Hogan in terms of bulllshit political burial and skullduggery?



    The make a wish segment, along with cena's previous statements using it to justify burying people and staying the top guy, makes him just a god-damn hypocrite and asshole, hiding behind sick and dying kids to basically hold the company hostage.



    At least Hogan was a true superstar that made the company, while HHH gave Steph orgasms and ultimately children. What has Cena truly given the company, other than a steady and at times irreversible decline into mediocrity and banality and low ratings?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sure that Make A Wish segment was WWE's idea, not just Cena's. They love bragging about shit like that, and they probably think it's one of the few ways to ensure Cena isn't booed out of the building.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Segment that make all of the Make A Wish work by Cena and WWE seem to be just so they can pat themselves on the back.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't even think I have the energy to actively dislike Cena anymore. The Make a Wish stuff felt incredibly cynical and I pretty much wash my hands of any investment in what they do with him as a character from now on.


    Beyond that, the show was boring. And that's one of the worst things any show can ever be.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "So yes, they booked a screwjob finish for a PIZZA DELIVERY."


    Ladies and gentlemen, the 2013 WWE!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I doubt Hunter gave her orgasms

    ReplyDelete
  10. Special S/O to The Fuj for purchasing the book and giving him the Stamp of Approval.


    You're welcome.


    Its not Salt in the Eye worthy, but we'll see.


    *bows*

    ReplyDelete
  11. Although it is interesting to note that while you're applying common sense and logic, if it were Hogan or Triple H it would be their fault as far as the IWC is concerned.

    Jesse makes a good point (and used the word 'skullduggery') even though he's employing a lot of hyperbole. People bitch and moan about other peoples' runs; Cena has basically been this generation's Bruno Sammartino except people hate him. Eight fucking years, gentleman. I know he hasn't been literally the champ for that long, but since titles don't matter, symbolically he has been without a doubt.

    All we can do is pray, folks. Pray that Cena gets sick of the wrasslin' business, and goes back to his first passion: BGP*.


    * = Brutal Gay Porn.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You could also look at it from the point of view that those kids got to be out there on stage as "WWE Superstars". A big thrill for them, I'm sure. So it's not always ALL about the company.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Cena: "I can't turn heel cuz of the kiddies." That argument is such bullshit, because if he does turn heel, whoever they program against him becomes the kids' new favorite.

    Seriously, he's acting like his heel turn would cause kid cancer or something.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't know, judging by that Howard Stern interview, Steph seems to have no complaints to the point that she admitted she'd let him go into door #2 at some point.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Given Lawler's luck in that department, maybe he should just go to the nearest store and get a DiGiorno already.

    ReplyDelete
  16. If making fun of the local sports team is a textbook example of cheap heel heat -- I think we've found the babyface counterpoint with Cena dragging out some Make-A-Wish kids.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Except in every case.

    ReplyDelete
  18. People keep joking about how RAW is turning into WCW 2001 but at least that had breakneck packing. With how boring these shows are, the lame skits that don't get anyone over, and the good talent being wasted, I think it feels more like WCW 1993.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think we're a little too deep into the blind Hunter hate by doubting his ability to pleasure his wife. You just don't go there.

    ReplyDelete
  20. WCW 1993 had that awesome (if brief) Hollywood Blonds run and their feud with Steamboat/Douglas. There's nothing that good right now in WWE, IMO.

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  21. DiGiorno sucks. They are overpriced plus you can find better restaurant style special-style pizzas from other brands which have propped up ever since DiGiorno came onto the market.


    Back in the day, they were good when their only competition were Tonys Pizza and Red Baron and Genos and crappy store brand pizzas. But since 2000, other companies, big and small, have put out just as good if not better (and more variety) pizzas that put Digiorno to shame.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah, I agree. I'm sure it was awesome for the kids. Sometimes it's ok to not be cynical about everything. It was actually cool to see. Why should they put it on WWE Active? So people who already complain about the show can find something else to complain about?

    Do you guys really think WWE was trying to use the kids to get Cena more cheers? Like their only motivation for that was to get Cena some +OVR from that segment? They openly acknowledge his mixed reactions these days. There doesn't have to be an alterior motive to everything.

    Separate life from wrestling for a few minutes.. those kids got to experience something most of us even dream about doing. Is it really that bad that they took up minutes of our rasslin?

    ReplyDelete
  23. He's knocked her up three times so he's obviously doing something right in that department.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I've been watching a lot of 2004-05-06ish stuff recently and that makes this look like 1997. Also, I miss the brand split.

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Breakneck packing"?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sorry, typing on the iPad is not my strength :p

    "Breakneck pacing"

    ReplyDelete
  27. Is this fantasy pizza booking or based on real life pizza observations?

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  28. RAW is on the air for, what, 156 hours a year -- and you guys are bitching about them devoting 15 minutes to Make-a-Wish kids? Yeah, it was a little corny and WWE definitely had their own good-for-us motives, but it's not like it's a bad thing to make some dying kids happy once a year.

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  29. I don't mind they did it to make the kids happy, but as a viewer (and I'm a selfish viewer), I don't care about making kids happy on-air. Do it as a dark segment or something. Plus, the whole thing reeked of Cena pandering.

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  30. I don't think anybody was that offended by it being on the TV screen as I think it was nice for the kids. Given the transparency behind the move though, it's fair game to be made fun of too.

    ReplyDelete
  31. 530am and you're on a wrestling blog telling me to shut up. lolz...

    I got few for you.

    "Get a life"

    "Go to sleep"

    "Get a girlfriend"



    "Make better use of your time"


    "Get a job."

    ReplyDelete
  32. Look at this way: Doing the segment on-air gets them good press and presumably more fans, as well as (theoretically) keeping groups like the PTC at bay, which (theoretically) allows WWE to stay on TV.

    ReplyDelete
  33. No. None of this.

    ReplyDelete
  34. You know what Scott, screw you and your cynical view. You find something "bad" in Cena bringing some Make A Wish kids some happiness. These kids got to feel like they were WWE Superstars and really part of RAW. Their friends and families got to see them on tv, seeing these kids happy while they are facing down the horribleness that is cancer (or other deadly diseases). But you found something so terrible about that 15 minutes of a 3+ hour show that made those kids feel awesome who normally feel like shit. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  35. People are always going to be cynical when it comes to this stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  36. ...yeah, he's got "not wearing a condom" down, solid.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 4:06 AM

    He's probably an expert at doing the "ffffllllllrlrlrlrlrllrlr" thing that you do to the clit.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 4:07 AM

    Here's how my pizza looks:

    Sauce, cheese, pepperoni, bocconcini, chili, chorizo slices and Megan Fox's nipples.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    Damn son, he just got a wad thrown in his eye. He Spiderman'd that mofo.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 4:09 AM

    Fuck the kids! Where was MY chance to meet Cena?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 4:12 AM

    OK so here's my idea for Seth Rollins after The Shield is done:

    You change his theme song to Rollin' by Limp Bizkit.

    I haven't quite gotten to assigning him a character or gimmick yet, but 85% of the work is done.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Kid are over rated. Especially sick and dying ones.

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  43. Not to dump on what I thought was actually a truly sweet moment (sure, the company was able to pat itself on the back for bringing the Make-A-Wish kids onstage, but that's besides the point), but I have to ask: I wasn't the only one waiting for some sort of preposterous angle with them, no?

    I was just waiting for Vickie to announce that, as the "newest WWE Superstars", she was forcing them to compete against 3MB. Of course, the kids would win, after The Eliminator kicks Heath Slater in the shin or something.


    Either that, or maybe they're kidnapped by The Shield, whereupon a bunch of faces (Cena, Orton, Sheamus) work together to find and rescue them. Or Brock tries to eat them.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I like how WWE still does the whole "Where is The Shield going to come from?" bit, even though they always come from the same aisles. One time they should just come down the ramp and surprise everybody.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Honestly, I think you put this segment on a good show and nobody says a thing, its fogotten by the end. On a bad show though, it really stands out as a special interest segment with no chance of being good wrestling.

    By the way, did the segment really run 15 min? It didn't feel that long.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Have to agree with this. I don't see what harm it did, especially given that you haven't enjoyed a Raw all year (at least, that's how it seems).

    ReplyDelete
  47. are you even sure that Eric lives in the US? I mean, you are aware that not everyone writing on this blog lives in the same time zone?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Realistically, I doubt they would have done anything of note with the 15 minutes even if they had put on a match or segment .

    ReplyDelete
  49. i will upvote this!

    ReplyDelete
  50. SO Yahoo! will provide yahoos with 30 minures MORE of yahoos?

    ReplyDelete
  51. Lawler is now the Noid, whom Domino's is trying to avoid #Turk182

    ReplyDelete
  52. Scott are you so jaded and cynical that this is the first (and only) place you go when that segment came on? You're not touched or moved by it? Inspired by what these kids face and keep fighting? These kids and their families/friends got an amazing expieience. Hopefully all these kids beat whatever illness they have but there's a chance some of them might not make it to puberty. But yeah, it's completely normal to see all that and think "fuck you WWE, I want my rasslin"!"

    ReplyDelete
  53. His finisher could be called the Rollin' Rock. That's another 5% done.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Good show or bad show I just don't get how people can see that segment (which yeah, didn't even last 15 minutes) and not feel a mixture of emotions from joy to seeing these kids so happy, sadness at what they are going through and inspired that these KIDS are fighting such horrible diseases. But instead bitch that they are missing out on valuable wrestling time and/or how self serving WWE is being.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Not going to lie, this is the first Raw, three hours or not, that I watched on x4 (!!!) fast-forward on my DVR. I stopped for the Shield promo, Ziggler match, and the last 5 minutes. Fortunately, my DVR cut off before the show ended, so I gladly went back to jaming broken glass up my asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  56. You are telling someone else to shut up while eating cheetos at the same time? Look at you, tough guy.

    ReplyDelete
  57. My son happened to be one of John Cena's "Make a Wish" kids about 8-9 months ago. Even if John was only there for self-serving reasons (and I didn't think he was, even for a second), he made my boy light up when he walked into the room. Cena was quiet, soft-spoken, humble and talked to my son for almost an hour about a variety of subjects - football, baseball, wrestling, working out, etc. I should note there were no photographers or media people - just one person from M.A.W.

    I can see where Scott was coming from with his comments, and as a wrestling fan, I can get behind the "why show this?" mentality. It WAS self-serving. It WAS transparent.

    However - and there's no way for Scott or ANYONE to know this unless they've gone through it - the impact that Cena had on my son and (I'm assuming) those kids is unmeasurable. It brought something out of my son that hadn't been seen in many months - joy. Pure joy. During Cena's visit, my son LAUGHED for what seemed like the first time in ages. I forgot how wonderful that sound was.

    I get where you guys are coming from if you didn't like it - but Cena's influence on those M.A.W. kids will never be forgotten or dismissed by the parents and children who experienced something so wonderful during a truly terrible time in their lives.

    ReplyDelete
  58. +OVR is a thing somewhere? I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Do you think she snowballs him and he does the water spit from his entrance after?

    ReplyDelete
  60. Man that both would have been more fun to watch and more fun for the kids. They totally should've done that.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I'm far more offended by all the pink shit in October than what Cena did. Someone very close to me just died a horrible death to breast cancer and I still can't fucking stand pink football uniforms and ring ropes.


    Cena is a good guy for real though.

    ReplyDelete
  62. "No one gives a shit about Del Rio".


    Maybe I missed something but the entire arena seemed to be chanting along with him.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Was it awesome for the kids to get "WWE Superstar" status and TV time? I'm sure it was. Was it entertaining? Nope. Of course, not much was, outside of The Shield, Ryback's continuing respiratory issues, and the Kofi-Dolph match. They could have filled that time with a much worse segment.

    ReplyDelete
  64. 04-05 Evolution tag matches - Yes Please.

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  65. I gotta say I pretty much liked this show. The stupid segments were coming at us left and right but Orton vs. Rhodes, Kofi vs. Dolph, ADR vs. Cesaro, and the main were all pretty good. Four enjoyable matches given a little bit of time is good enough for me, even if it was surrounded by dumbness. Also that was a good crowd, somewhere between smark and mark but loud for both.

    ReplyDelete
  66. My pizza just got Baked.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Whoever he feuds against isn't going to do everything Cena does. This is the exact same problem Goldberg had.

    ReplyDelete
  68. After being saved from the depths of Chyna, I'm sure he would do anything for (and to) that woman.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:02 AM

    Upvoooote.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:03 AM

    Cena's Jewish?

    ReplyDelete
  71. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:05 AM

    Look, every time I see an ad about mistreated animals, I want to go kill myself. I don't want to see that when I'm trying to ignore watching Raw.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:10 AM

    I didn't know where this post was going, and then that 'broken glass' line came along, took me by suprise and made me choke on a mouthful of Guinness. FUCK!!

    ReplyDelete
  73. He was pretty well packaged in NXT as a hardcore kid. I legitimately popped hard for him when I saw his one-arm windmills as part of his entrance.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:14 AM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dt5Nf7ct5c

    ReplyDelete
  75. If I want to see stuff like that, I'll put on one of the umpteen news shows that is always filling space with stories like that. Or I'll go look up stories like that online.


    That could have just as easily been done off-air, and I bet those kids wouldn't have noticed the difference. Especially if they got videos of it anyway. (off-air /= off-camera)




    Your point isn't bad, just out of place.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:20 AM

    On the next episode of Raw, John Cena adopts a puppy with meningitis.

    ReplyDelete
  77. And none of us are sugesting otherwise, I'd hope.


    My issue, at least, is that this is taking up space that could be used to get OTHER people over, because Cena vs Flavor of the Month can draw only so long, then you run out of flavors/Cena gets stale.


    If this was a one-off, and not something that was mentioned EVERY chance they got/shoved down the fans throats in the last few months, I doubt it would've gotten 20% of the hostility it's getting now.

    ReplyDelete
  78. They aren't fighting anything. They're having surgeries and doing chemo and shit because they have to. There's nothing inspiring about doing something that you have no choice to do.


    My five months on chemo were neither heroic nor inspiring. It was just shit that had to get done.


    Grow up and learn a little bit about life.

    ReplyDelete
  79. One thing that baffled me was The Shield going on about how they've brought Justice to the WWE. And how they've changed the course of WWE history for ever. How have they done that exactly?

    ReplyDelete
  80. I'm with ya! Glacier

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  81. And as I mentioned above, that segment was only the tip of the iceberg that is WWE's self-pandering.

    ReplyDelete
  82. You manage to work a sexual reference and or scenario into virtuall every post you make. Not judging or anything, just wondering if I should buy you a hooker or something...

    ReplyDelete
  83. Normally, when someone mentions a topic that I don't know much about, I'll look it up.

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WVtbPyhfZmY

    ReplyDelete
  84. Meh... I actually think that Chyna was who he really loved... but he loves THIS BUSINESS more and Steph's vag was the way to the top of it.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:26 AM

    And your only post in this discussion is about my sexually charged post, and you bring this up to me quite a lot.

    If you're offering to buy me a hooker though, I reluctantly accept.

    ReplyDelete
  86. You down with BGP?

    ReplyDelete
  87. I have made over a thousand posts there are maybe 3 about this... as for the hooker "that is an offer I would make if that was legal" ifyouknowwhatimean

    ReplyDelete
  88. Ok that was funny

    ReplyDelete
  89. Close. But it wasn't Steph's vag.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SJuR17JqEw

    ReplyDelete
  90. Man did the Yo Noid! game for the NES suck...

    ReplyDelete
  91. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:38 AM

    ...You're a hooker?

    ReplyDelete
  92. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:39 AM

    It's not my thing, but I defend Cena's unalienable right to perform it.

    ReplyDelete
  93. No no, you are confusing me with your mom! #middleschoolhumor

    ReplyDelete
  94. Satan, formerly WankerApril 30, 2013 at 6:41 AM

    PARALLAX!! #SitcomMoment

    ReplyDelete
  95. They've TOLD STORIES!

    ReplyDelete
  96. Look at this way: if they'd stop making such shitty programming, they'd be allowed to stay on TV longer, too.

    ReplyDelete
  97. I made use of the crazy "Why am I up at 8:50 AM reading this?" laughter personally.

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  98. I have a younger cousin who's a Make A Wish kid, and Cena showed up to his birthday party to surprise him last year. They had a show in Chicago that night, and the birthday party was in Detroit.

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  99. What do I need to learn exactly? That KIDS staring down cancer bravely isn't inspiring? And when it comes to kids doing it I'm inspired, yes. And by the way, I'm currently on cancer number 2 (at 28 thyroid cancer that spread to my lymph nodes and now at 30 it has come back into my throat and half my voice box) and I feel the same exact way you do. (I know you'll go onto call me a liar on this but ask Caliber, parallax, Fuj or anybody that visits the blog of doom message boards) I'm not heroic, I just went through it all to save my own ass. But I remember being 28 and feeling devastated when I heard the news, I just can't imagine how it would feel being a kid. And from kids I met who had cancer (I used to go to the pediatric wing after my surgery, they had an Xbox) they were dealing with this better and more bravely than I was. And that shit inspired me. I'm sorry about what you went through man, it's just when it comes to kids, it feel they are heroic in how they handle it.

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  100. Uh, no.

    I'm a tenderhearted guy, but I'd be a little more tenderhearted were it not such a transparent reach for attention by the WWE. Giving the kids a thrill like that could've easily been done after the show went off the air with TV time going to something that doesn't really help the product; doing it on television is the company's way of exploiting them for gain. It's professional wrestling, not some feel-good infomercial that you watch to make yourself feel like a better person.

    Ask yourself this question: does any major sport stop what they're doing in the middle of an inning / quarter / period / half for fifteen minutes to have the star of the team introduce Animal Shelter pets or MAW kids?

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  101. I feel like I saw an angle, not a M.A.W moment. From my perspective, I just saw those kids used and that doesn't sit well with me.

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  102. OK, if it's inspiring, then what has it inspired you to do?

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  103. In between quarters/periods/etc... (which would be the "most similar here", it's not like they interrupted a match from what I'm reading) it does happen sometimes.


    First example that popped into my head was the NFL Punt/Pass/Kick winners being announced in between quarters. Or the occassional charity PR move that marks the return from commercial break.

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  104. I'm so sorry to hear about what your son went through, that just sucks. That was a beautiful story though that Cena could bring your son so much joy. I'm really glad your son got to have that expieience. I feel Cena does this because he wants to and has a passion for it, not because he wants a pat on the back. And I'm not blind, I can see the self serving nature of it when it comes to the WWE. I just feel the trade off is more than fair since it made these kids so happy. Also it was one small segment on one RAW, I think we can all deal with that being taken out of the countless hours of wrestling we get every week. I do hope you and your family are doing well.

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  105. I'm just giving ya shit homie. I do need to fix my sleep schedule though.

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  106. They've got a warped view of justice, which is excellent.

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  107. I think Cena does it because he really loves to, and it's only the last year that WWE has been shoving it down our throats. Before that he did it quietly. Franklly, I don't know how he does it without crying his eys out every night.

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  108. So everytime I turned on Raw last night I caught TWO Domino's segments, the tug of war and the dance off with Khali and Fandango. Is there wrestling on the wrestling show?

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  109. You can't see how seeing kids face cancer bravely can inspire me to handle my own cancer better? I already showed an instance of how they did inspire me. I say to myself "if they can do this with such an upbeat attitude, so can I".

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  110. And those segments are typically 2-3 minutes long (MAYBE) and don't interrupt the proceedings; they happen off-camera and they show a clipped version on TV. While no match was interrupted, it ate up a much larger chunk than any of these types of segments should. With Raw being roughly the same length as the typical football or baseball game, the time difference is pretty huge.

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  111. So does Lawler and Cole think Raw is so boring, they have to show the audience how to order pizza during the middle of the show? Is that what I was supposed to take away from that segment?

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  112. They're allowing us to see where it goes!

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  113. I think I just figured it out- the less-attractive Bella is the one with the implants. I've long though facially one is better looking, and that the other one is slightly skankier. I hope Bryan got the cutier one.

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  114. See I 100% admit to the WWE having the self serving motives. I just thing the trade off was worth it. The kids got to call their friends and family to say they were going to be on RAW ontop of the whole feel like a WWE Superstar deal.

    And I have seen cancer patients do the "gentleman start your engines" thing at a NASCAR race, also at a NASCAR race they spotlighted a kid with cancer in the passenger seat of the pace car and I remember a couple of times they had a boy with cancer being bat boy for the Yankees.

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  115. I'm glad that you and your family were all able to enjoy that moment with John Cena. Behind the scenes, one cannot argue that he may be the greatest ambassador that has ever come through the WWE. His charity work alone is unbelievable and unequivocal. You will not see any other professional athletes, wrestlers, actors, or anyone else do as much work with MaW as Cena. My problem, and to your point, is more with Vince and how it was self-serving to him and his company. Because Vince (and HHH now) has completely pissed all over things like this in the past (Paul Bearer for example), it did not come across as genuine and I was just waiting for the Shield or Ryback to come out and do something.

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  116. Exactly! What about me! What about Raven! Philippe!

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  117. Those poor kids got to be on Raw with their hero.

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  118. No, I can't. It's like saying you need inspiration to breathe.

    I did chemo while working to support my family because THAT'S WHAT I DO!

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  119. WCW is going to have to go to the Pokeé-mart and purchase a "Burn Heal" for that burn!

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  120. I might be able to pull some strings to tet you a visit from Juan Cena.

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  121. I always find it odd when girls get implants so small you would never think they're implants.

    I say, if you're gonna get some rockin' boobies, get'em Stephanie style.

    Everyone who saw the boobies-leprachaun say "yeah!"

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  122. Did I say anything negative about the kids? Or are you just stating random factoids?

    "Adrian Boult was an English conductor, known for championing British music."

    See? I can do it too!

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  123. I agree. I hate stuff like that. I mean, most people put these pink ribbons on their car, or their shirt collar, or do this and that, simply so people will look at them and think "Oh, they're good people!". Unless you donate money or time, shut the fuck up. It's not like cancer needs awareness.

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  124. I think Chyna is just extra crazy and he started seeing that after a while.

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  125. Did they also need to recap it later on?

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  126. Up vote for that last line!

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  127. Haha, who down voted this? I'm dying to know who saw this and thought "no good!".

    Honestly, I don't know how Hogan, Cena, and all those who've done Make-A-Wish can do it. It would absolutely rip my guts out to see these children like this. Then I'd be so ecstatic that just being there could mean something to someone like that I'd want to quit my day job and just move into the hospital so I could do as much as absolutely possible.

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  128. Wow cena does the job to the shield! That's called a push. I can't be bothered to watch this show till the NBA playoffs are over though

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  129. This where you got all that "caughtra" crap?!

    No, no. That was from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

    The SEARCH for SPOCK?!

    I know, I know, Jerry till tell you that The Wrath of Khan is the better picture, but I ---*shoved down*

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  130. Sandman already had that.

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  131. Yes. Quite a bit actually.

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  132. That's correct. Bryan is dating Brie which is the cuter one.

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  133. I hope we have a Daily Round Up today so this can get comment of the day.

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  134. Swagger gets worse and worse every week. Why can't Zack get that role with Coulter?

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  135. I agree about cenas politics but at least he made punk

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  136. Burying people? You're right! I can't remember the last time he lost. Oh wait. Yes I can. IT WAS YESTERDAY!

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  137. People have no idea what they're saying when they say Raw is like WCW in 2000-2001. They have NO IDEA.

    There's no "All this stuff is fake, but this is REAL" type moments. There are good enough matches so that when you see a match that's ***1/2 stars you declare it the best of the last 7 months. Vince McMahon isn't the GM who's on TV more than anyone else, winning the heavyweight title, and coming out in a Pope Mobile. People are able to properly get heat [in some cases]. If The Shield were in WCW 2000, they would have debuted, got heat on Cena, and then next week Cena would have beat them clean. Then The Shield would have beat Cena clean the next week. Then the Shield would have beat the shit out of Cena who would then leave for two weeks, who would then come back and completely destroy The Shield, effectively getting his revenge, and we'd then be told to buy the PPV to see Cena fight The Shield in an attempt to get his revenge despite the fact he already got it. Then imagine this stretching on for 6 months!

    WWE right now is bad. But WCW 2000 is INSULTING.

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  138. I like how Scott thinks that getting pyro back means youre getting a push instead of getting the US title as means of getting a push

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  139. Sick kids on mediocre TV show <<<>>> 4th string NBA scrub makes announcement that would have been mildly shocking in 1991

    4/29/2013...not exactly an important day

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  140. I think its more the fact that they were being used to garner cheap heat for Cena.

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  141. You know, Douglas, you still haven't told me what it'll take to get you on the side of Caliber. To chant "GO CALIBER GO!" along with the others.

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  142. I actually never knew breast cancer existed until John Cena told me about it.

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  143. Hmm I suppose. But they did mention specifically stopping Ryback from winning the WWE title. But surely Cena as champ would piss them off more? Unless they're working for him! Which they're not. It's confusing, but yeah let's go with the warped view of justice

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  144. WAIT A MINUTE!


    HOLD THE LINES!


    THE FOREMOST EXPERT OF WCW 2000 IS HERE TO DEBUNK ALL COMPARISIONS!


    Please oh grand sage of 2000 WCW, regale of us your tales of Booker T sans dreads and Jeff Jarrett with guitar and without heat.


    Spin us no-nothings a yarn about WCW in 2000 that we have not in the last 13 years.



    Set the wayback machine to THE YEAR TWO THOUSANDDDDDD #oldschoolconan and walk us through the 52 weeks of reboots, concussions sliced arms and worked shoots.


    Teach.... Us....

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  145. Cena made Punk?


    Im not a Punk dick-rider like some on this blog, but Punk was hugely over before he crossed paths with Cena.


    He was legit way before then

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  146. I wasn't sure if I should go Star Wars, or Georgia Leprachaun reference. But, "oon-teenie boobies" just didn't have the ring to it.

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  147. My point being I'm sure the kids loved it and didn't feel used at all. Probably the highlights of their childhoods. The kid who got the basketball kicked out by DiBiase, now he might feel used, not these kids.

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  148. I'm surprised Vince doesn't make a WWE Superstar come out to grab some of that mainstream media attention they so desperately crave. They've done worse gimmicks.

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  149. Hey, Fuj, I think there's a thread some where, where someone isn't talking about you. Better go over there and fix it.

    Also, props on trying to turn Scott's comment about his book all about you. That was so unlike yo---...oh, wait.

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  150. Scream09_HartKillerApril 30, 2013 at 8:51 AM

    Did Lawler order anything to eat the night of the heart attack? Because I can't see that being good advertising.

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  151. As opposed to:


    Straight Gangster, No Chaser: Look at my lame attempt to be Maddox.
    WCW in 2000: Look at my lame attempt to review the lamest year in WCW's existence and stand by it like its cool. Im so cool!
    The Man Movie Encyclopedia Vol. 1: Scott likes it!!! Maddox ghost-wrote it!!! Please buy it so i can move out the basement.


    Lets not do this...

    ReplyDelete
  152. Scream09_HartKillerApril 30, 2013 at 8:57 AM

    At least it'll give Zack Ryder something to do.

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  153. That's actually not a bad idea. They could turn it into a storyline where Zack's excessive use of social media leads to the impressionable young man coming across all sorts of neo-con and conspiracy theory sites, at which point he falls under the "tutelage" of Zeb Colter.

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  154. Scream09_HartKillerApril 30, 2013 at 8:58 AM

    Most of the audience has never ordered pizza by themselves before. Hopefully they get their parents permission.

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  155. I'm not really concerned with whether the children feel used. They were a bit busy enjoying some rare and genuine jubilation.

    This in no way detracts from my feeling that these children were still used in a disgusting way for reasons that I don't feel can be justified.

    About the Dibiase thing: According to him, people were always taken care of off camera. I imagine that ended up being a pretty awesome day for the kids.

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  156. Ahem...Tim Tebow was cut....

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  157. Don't let facts cloud your judgment.

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  158. Late 2005-mid 2006 was actually pretty awesome. It was around that summer when things started to slip and it began resembling the crap we have today.

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  159. Nobody knows who Sandman is anymore.

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  160. Political catfishing? Double topical!

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  161. Yeah, that'd work if you didn't read both my websites almost daily, and put my book over.

    People read my work that I created from whole cloth, while you gotta limp around the BoD trying to get yourself over by leeching off other's heat.

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