OK, today's question is such....
If you could preform one finishing move, that would go off without a hitch, to anyone in your personal life, in any setting, without any legal ramifications, what would it be?
For me, and this is being cliche', but I use to work security at Target, and my boss was the ultimate bitch. It was well known she hated men, and I was the first one she hired in YEARS. She was forced to hire me basically because I was the best candidate. She made my life absolutely miserable. Now, if I had my way, during the morning meeting we had, in front of everyone, I would have loved to kick her in her fat fucking gut and drop her with a Stunner that broke her jaw, and say I quit.
How say you?
If you could preform one finishing move, that would go off without a hitch, to anyone in your personal life, in any setting, without any legal ramifications, what would it be?
For me, and this is being cliche', but I use to work security at Target, and my boss was the ultimate bitch. It was well known she hated men, and I was the first one she hired in YEARS. She was forced to hire me basically because I was the best candidate. She made my life absolutely miserable. Now, if I had my way, during the morning meeting we had, in front of everyone, I would have loved to kick her in her fat fucking gut and drop her with a Stunner that broke her jaw, and say I quit.
How say you?
Superkick. Quick, easy, gets the point across
ReplyDeleteTHE MONEYSHOT
ReplyDeleteAnd usually it's welcomed
...wait, what about wrestling moves?
I watched a bully at my high school give some geek a real life stone cold stunner in the late 90's. It was really funny. Theres a little person who works on another floor in my office I see in the lobby sometimes. I would love to power bomb him on the floor. I don't know why
ReplyDeleteSalt in the eye!!!
ReplyDeleteJust kidding.
I would like to try a frankensteiner on some hapless soul.
I worked at a **** hotel in Cyprus where the manager was nice enough but the owner was a notorious arsehole. I had never met him because he was never at the hotel so when he walked in one day and I was alone at reception I didn't know who he was and greeted him like a new guest. He made me clean the floor on my knees in front of a bunch of people. I got him back the same day by dipping my dick in his water but I would still like to go for the classic option = a powerbomb, off the balcony of the hotel and onto the massive hotel logo out front
ReplyDeleteA few things before I answer the question. You know what I like about you Caliber? You get joy from pro wrestling where so many other people on this site have hatred toward it. Second...the QOTD always come's when I am at work so it's a nice distraction :)
ReplyDeleteFor me...Flying Elbow complete with Macho Man's arms over his head pose.
Tell us how you REALLY feel about her, Caliber.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm not sure of the person or the setting but if I could walk up to someone who was really grating on my nerves and deliver an RKO to that person, without a hitch, that would be pretty damn great.
Dickish Orton pose afterward optional.
A DDT. For sure. It's easy enough, doesn't involve having to put my enemies taint in my face (like a powerbomb) and it's cool. I wish DDTs were still finishers and not transitional moves.
ReplyDeleteOhh I like that one. Can I change my answer?
ReplyDeleteCaliber, I feel the exact same way about my previous supervisor. She was a thief, racist, lazy, and had no problem insulting everyone around her. Would have been nice if there was an HR department to report her to, but she *WAS* the HR department.
ReplyDeleteFucking cunt.
Someone who's full time job was a security officer at target and wanting to perform wrestling moves on people....that makes perfect sense. I would be surprised if he didn't make up his questions, because I hardly doubt people ask this hack questions.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the kind words, YHTF. And I'm most proud when things I create are distractions.
ReplyDeleteWell done. I also imagine the logo blowing up when he hits it?
ReplyDeleteI agree. Orton's 2nd-rope DDT is insulting. It's easily the most brutal, and realistic move in wrestling, and yet it NEVER gets a pin. So instead we're suppose to believe a move like the RKO?
ReplyDeleteAnd it's ridiculous because it's SO fucking hard for someone to get fired these days, because of bullshit lawsuits and things. So when someone is a real prick, they couldn't get fired for short of anything besides murder, and even then.
ReplyDeleteyou know im gonna soften my stance on QOTD cuz it brings the comments.
ReplyDeleteFortunately I am productive at my job so I am mostly left alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sick and staying home today and this site (and threads like this) are a godsend.
ReplyDeleteAnd my move would be a Steiner Screwdriver, followed by me getting up and going "What? What?" to anyone passing by. As for who I'd hit it on... oh, I don't know... let's say.... Moe.
Even after he saved the kids?
ReplyDeleteFor me, it would be the ankle lock. It's simple, effective and looks easy to do. Besides, I would want to torture my sister's husband. I am Jewish who had many relatives die in the holocaust. My sister married an Israeli Jewish bigot. He refuses to interact with anyone who is not Jewish. When I start dating a gentile, he would purposely try to break us up even before he ever knows anything about them. When I married a gentile, he would have divorced my sister if she helped me out with the rings (they work for a jewelry company). He is also very stubborn, never helps out with chores (he will scream and yell at my sister if the chores are not done), and thinks he is always right. If my sister divorced him, he has said that he would take their kids to Israel. She very much has Stockholm's syndrome. No one in my family likes him. None of my sister's friends like him. Thus with the ankle lock, I would want to torture him until he changes his ways or snap both his ankles (whichever comes first).
ReplyDeleteWith people like that I'm guessing the ankle snapping is going to happen long before he changes.
ReplyDelete"If."
ReplyDeleteHa.
That's terrible. I'm sorry your family is in that situation. Was he always like this, or was this after the marriage? Apologies if I'm getting too personal.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I can tell you the Ankle Lock is a hell of a move. I've been put in it, and it's extremely painful.
My friends and I use to wrestle. Just fucking around like guys do. Two of them wrestled in school, one of which ranked 5 in the state. I made them both tap out to the Ankle Lock. The one who placed 5th, he was so pissed that I tapped him out that he jumped right up and punched me in the face.
It's super easy to lock on, and no one sees it coming.
Of course, it's an explosive flaming barbwire table logo!
ReplyDeleteY'know, there really isn't anyone in my life who I'd like to inflict bodily harm upon. Kinda disappointing but it seems like a nice problem to have.
ReplyDeleteJust for the sake of answering the question, I'd give my dad a Bruno Sammartino-esque Bear Hug.
Did this guy really just brag about being the candidate for a Target security job?
ReplyDeleteBurning Hammer on Hitler. Dude needed to job quicker than 1945.
ReplyDeleteMacho Man Elbow Drop, but in really bizarre locations, where you wouldn't really expect anyone to fall from the sky.
ReplyDeleteWhat's there not to brag about? I had a Segway to ride on, and people respect the badge, but they REALLY respect it when it has a Target logo on it!
ReplyDeleteSpinning Gordbuster. I would do this to every bicyclist going the opposite way down a NYC street dodging oncoming traffic, every fucking person on their cellphone in a theater/on line at a cafe, my grandfather's drunken philandering wife, and her equally philandering daughter.
ReplyDeleteI don't advocate violence against women, but these two are hardly even human.
There was a kid who worked for me last year, it was his first job out of college and he thought he knew everything, even though he was proven wrong 85-90 percent of the time. Just to get him to shut up (and he loved to talk in this whiny, high-pitched tone), I'd go old school Jake Roberts. Short-arm clothesline, spin the finger, lift him up, slap his back and drive him down with a DDT.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that might be thwoing salt in the eye... I mean salt in the wound, since I fired him the day after Thanksgiving. He's currently posting his corrections on a political blog in the City.
Isn't it a perfect example of the rampant, and completely out of control narcissism of the people today when there are STILL motherfuckers who use their cell phone in a theater?
ReplyDeleteHe's always been this way and everyone could see it after their first few dates
ReplyDeleteI don't understand it. If everything going on in your life is more important than the live performance in front of you, why even go out? Just crawl up your own asshole and leave everyone else alone.
ReplyDeleteI actually did put my little annoying Indian coworker in a Million Dollar Dream / Cobra Clutch, this resulted in me being stabbed in leg with a pen by his free arm. I no longer desire to perform wrestling moves on people in real life situations.
ReplyDeleteDude was worse than Triple H. Hitler did ONE job and went nearly went over "hella" people.
ReplyDeleteI also am supremely annoyed that the second rope DDT is basically a transition move. People should be getting stretchered out after taking that.
ReplyDeleteJust finished med school so doing ER residency, basically all the Dr grunt work without the pay. Love to tombstone the holier than tho senior doctors... Or give one of the Bella's a bronco buster right between their boobies.
ReplyDeleteThis guy in my office is a complete dickbag, and there's only one solution:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HiIt4Ku-ZU
when i was in 5th grade at recess i convinced my friend to let me give him a pedigree. he wasn't the brightest kid. kept his arms held and gave him a legit pedigree on the grass. he kept laying there face down and i told him to get up and quit being a bitch thinking he was fucking with me. he turns with a facefull of tears and recess had just ended so everyone else was headed towards the doors while we're the only 2 way out in the field. i started getting really scared. not for him but that everyone would see and i'd get in trouble. he finally got up, wiped his face and walked it off.
ReplyDeletedamn kids.
I like the QOTD feature, but if we've already arrived at this type of question, it's time to close shop.
ReplyDeletedownvoted for optional instead of mandatory.
ReplyDeleteCalliber you are the saddest person in the world. Seriously,if you're older than 13 I weep for you.
ReplyDeleteOne time when I was a kid I was fighting some kid, and I thought when he charged at me I could superkick him. My timing was off and he was still a half step away from me, so I was just standing there like a dead flamingo with my foot in the air while he shoved me over.
ReplyDeleteYOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP
ReplyDeleteI actually can't legally say who i'd do it to, but there's a certain situation where i'd like to shut someone up with the Mandible Claw, with bite proof fingercasing of course.
ReplyDeletenot really an answer to the exact question but one time when i was working at a record store in the 90's i was up front puttin' my coworker in the figure 4 by the register. a lady walked up to check out and i didnt see her. after a moment my boss walked up to me.
ReplyDeletedid he apologize to the lady
did he reprimand me
nope, as he walked by all he said was 'youve got a customer.'
same manager used to page me over the intercom by sayin' 'your_favourite_asshole316 says youre needed up front'
and this wasnt a momnpop store either it was a chain
they cant bite the fingers cuz youve paralyed em
ReplyDeletethats what mick says a few times in his book when corney and vinnie asked him why someone wouldnt jsut bite
This is a rather juvenile question. But hell, I'm a juvenile at heart so I'm gonna say Giant Swing....into a tree. Since we're talking guilt free attempted murder and all.
ReplyDeleteDid you really have a Segway?
ReplyDeleteNeat, that automatically makes it a WAY better job than any that I held before the age of 26.
My Mother in Law has not received nearly enough piledrivers in the time that I've known her.
ReplyDeleteAnd more generally, people who think that they should push onto a subway / elevator / what have you before letting people off first should all take a Hart killer boot to the head from Goldberg. Seriously, fuck those people.
Superkick HBK style too any douchebag wearing shades in a nightclub... hopefully they aren't blind :/
ReplyDeleteA Tombstone Piledriver to every asshole who rides your ass on the road thinking they need to go 80 fucking mph to get somewhere. Sure I sometimes go over the speed limit, but I'm never like that.
ReplyDeleteSalt in the eye!! cracks me up everytime
ReplyDeleteI'm sad? Dude, you live in a trash can!
ReplyDeleteMy buddy knocked someone out with a superkick in a bar fight, which was a thing of beauty. The fact that he did the Shawn Michaels pose after was a bonus.
ReplyDeletePlus, that's one of the holds that really fucking hurts in real life too, especially if you twist the neck and lock your hands.
ReplyDeleteDude, the Segway SUCKED. We had to wear a helmet, and a bright colored vest. It wasn't a choice to ride it, either. We HAD to ride it in order to patrol the parking lot. It was so embarrassing, because you'd look like such a tool. Plus, Paul Blart came out right then. So here I was, a tool rent-a-cop on a Segway. Ugh. People always wanted to take pictures of me on that thing too. I was a good sport about it, but man, I hated that stupid machine.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it doesn't seem nearly as brutal as a regular DDT. The move starts when they're halfway descended and they aren't being violently yanked off their feet.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a check swing of a baseball bat compared to a full swing.
I'm all for the regular ol' DDT being brought back as a finish. For a while you saw it used in every match, lately I never see it, perfect time to bring it back.
ReplyDeleteA pedigree for HHH. He's been wrecking my favourite TV show for YEARS.
ReplyDeleteThe rent's pretty cheap.
ReplyDeleteI want to hit my ex boss with a brutal spinebuster
ReplyDeleteDid he stomp the floor repeatedly before he kicked him?
ReplyDeleteClothesline from Hell for my psychotic ex from years ago. Also the Brood's Bloodbath for my boss.
ReplyDeleteAlso for ones i'd wanna do on a random stranger, i'd love to set up with someone to arrive separately at a public place, make no contact or indicate that we knew each other in any way, get in some kind of lines where they're walking toward a random stranger from the front and I'm walking behind them, and just silently drop them with a Total Elimination and just walk away, without ever acknowledging each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty lucky in that I have no one in my life who I hate enough to try and physically harm--a few who annoy me sometimes but not that strongly. If I did, however, no question my move of choice would be the kimura lock. It's the move Daniel Puder pulled by surprise on Kurt Angle during Tough Enough, and he would have snapped Angle's arm with it had the ref not thought quickly and counted a phantom pin. Think about that for a second: a young kid and TE contestant almost broke the arm of Kurt. Freaking. Angle. That's one badass move right there.
ReplyDeleteOh, Caliber, every once in a while, you post something endearing like this. I, too, used to work Target Security/AP. My era was pre-Segway, though.
ReplyDeleteWhatever was the final move used on misawa, and on one of my neighbors
ReplyDelete\__O____/
ReplyDeleteLove it.
Actually, yeah.
ReplyDeleteIt's so ridiculous working security when it's not Wal-Mart. Because you can't do a fucking hing. You can't accuse anyone, you can't stop anyone, you can't do anything except call the police. A bunch of horseshit. Not saying I want to be Robocop, but let's get past all this sissyassed "you can't stop anyone or accuse them". If I see someone clear as day on the camera boost some shit, I should be able to say something. Then you get these meat-heads who ask things "Why can't we have guns?" and it's like...motherfucker, the reason you don't get a gun is because you have to ask.
ReplyDeleteAnd hey, I'm am an endearing guy!
Mmm, any available dumpsters? I'm a bigger guy, and I have an action figure collection, so a trashcan won't do.
ReplyDelete.. Just to make you aware, that's Shawn Michaels not Triple H.
ReplyDeleteDid he slap Jus thigh for the sound effect as he did it, or are we keeping this kayfabe...
ReplyDelete