Skip to main content

ROH TV July 20th-21st Edition

Main Event is the final title defense of Jay Briscoe against S.C.U.M.'s Matt Hardy.  This is the final show before Steel Cage Warefare.


The show opens with footage of S.C.U.M riding to the arena in the back of a Limo.  Steve Corino is giving a pep talk about tonight being the night the last ROH champion in history is crowned.  He takes some shots at Baltimore being a town known for losers and insulting the local sports heroes (Corino: you ever sleep with Cal Ripkin's wife? Titus: Who hasn't?).  He says that Matt Hardy is the reason they can live in luxury, putting S.C.U.M. up in the best hotels and renting Limos for the group.  Tonight S.C.U.M. shows Matt their thanks when they strap the world title around his waist.  Matt tells them that S.C.U.M. is like his family, hell--they mean more to him then his own brother!

This segment was pointless, but inoffensive--so we'll call it a wash and move on to the actual show.  Kelly and Corino set up the opening contest...

Will Ferrera VS Adam Cole
Both men enter the ring and the squash looks ready to start when Roderick Strong makes his entrance.  Strong has some words for Adam Cole; He says Adam hasn't been living up to the honourable standard he claims to represent.  Strong tells Adam he's not mad, he's disappointed.  Well that's awesomely condescending.  Cole takes the mic and starts kissing Strong's ass, and apologizes yet again.  It's a good way to slow burn a heel turn, do something dickish and then apologize later like that makes everything better--fan's get tired of disingenuous apologies and he lashes out when people stop believing him.  Cole then apologizes (is sorry all he says) to Ferrera because his ROH debut will have to wait--tonight he wants to face Roderick Strong and prove that he can win with honor.  Roddy accepts and our new opening contest is...

Roderick Strong VS Adam Cole   
Code of Honor is adhered to.  Some up-beat chain wrestling to start, with both guys being pushed into the corner at one point and both times they opponent makes a clean rope break.  Strong suddenly cranks the aggression up a notch, catching Cole by surprise as Strong beats him all around the ring with a variety of strikes.  Strong tries a bodyslam, but Cole slips out and nails a back suplex.  Cole hits a few knee drops then tries to suplex Strong, it's blocked and Roddy gets an inverted suplex.  Cole pops back up immediately but misses a charge into the corner and gets chopped HARD across the back.  Strong follows up with an attempted running forearm/bulldog combo but Cole reverses into his fireman's carry brain buster for 2.  Cole lands a neck breaker then grabs a headlock to send us to commercial.

Back with Cole landing a suplex for another 2 count.  Bodyslam gets yet another 2 count; on the kick out Cole wraps Strong up with headscissors.  Strong rolls the devastating rest hold into a pin for 2.  Cole runs the ropes and ducks a Strong clothesline, Roddy's follow up dropkick hit the mark however.  Strong clotheslines Cole and then hits him with...an innovative...facebuster slam thing...DAMN IT RODERICK!!!  This is the third time you've used a move I don't know what the hell to call since I got this gig--you're the only wrestler giving me grief!  It's not enough to finish Cole so he pulls a page out of CM Punk's playbook delivering a corner knee then landing the running bulldog he wanted earlier--it only gets 2.  Cole is hung in the tree of woe and gets kneed in the midsection.  The Messiah of the back breaker shows off his name sake with a double under hook backbreaker which gets 2.  Cole tries fighting back but Strong cuts him off with an enzugiri into an Uranagi backbreaker.  Argentine slam gets 2 for Strong.  Cole realizes he's getting his ass kicked and rolls to the apron for a breather.  Strong gives chase but walks right into an inverted hotshot from Cole.  Strong his dragged out of the ring by his waist, but Cole doesn't put him down, instead German suplexing him spine-first into the ring apron!  That looked like it hurt like a bitch.  Cole rolls Roderick in for a 2 count and then applies the Figure-4 leglock.  It's particularly more dangerous in this situation because of the mental anguish that comes from being subjected to any move The Miz uses as a finish.  Strong escapes his Miz-ery by reaching the ropes.  He lifts Adam to the top rope from the apron then hits an Enzugiri to keep him dazed up there.  Strong climbs up the ropes and Forearms Cole in the face a dozen times before superplexing the youngster for a 2 count.  both guys are staggered but standing.  Vertical suplex is attempted by Strong but Cole knees him in the head to get out; he didn't have much time to celebrate however, as Roderick caught him with a rolling elbow pretty much as soon as Cole was back on his feet.  Double knee gut buster looks to set up the sick kick but Cole dropkicks the knee to block. Figure 4 attempted but Strong turns it into a small package for 2.  Strong takes a shot at locking in the Stronghold, but Cole pushes him off and the ref gets bumped(!!!).  The wrestlers keep going as if nothing had happened.  Strong lands a jumping knee, which receives the All-Japan delayed sell and a super kick from Cole.  With everybody down Corino throws a chain in the ring for Cole to use in his ongoing quest to recruit the Panama native into S.C.U.M..  Before Cole becomes aware of the chain's existence it's picked up by Strong.  Cole gets up and sees Strong with the chain and assumes he brought it in with the ref down.  Righteous fury drives Cole to kick Strong so hard in the leg that the ghost of Owen Hart felt bad, and Roddy drops the chain.  Cole picks it up and punches Strong out with it, and the newly revived ref calls for the DQ to give Strong the victory.  **3/4  Very even match, which is good since the feud is based around a lack of decisive finishes.  Finish hurts it's score somewhat though Cole's reaction to the DQ was awesome, screaming "IT WAS SELF DEFENSE" at the referee.  It's always good when a wrestler looks like he's really upset about losing.  Cole storms off without shaking Strong's hand.

S.C.U.M. arrives outside the arena.  Hardy offers a fan $100 to rip up his sign that says "Hardy is a fraud", but the guy says no (I'll do it, It's a piece of fucking Bristol board, I'd sell out faster then Metalica in a courtroom for $100 bucks)  S.C.U.M. rips it up anyway.  At least the dipshit still has his pride...

ROH World Title: "The Icon" Matt Hardy VS Jay Briscoe (c)
Corino reprises his bit of taking 6 hours to introduce Hardy by outlining every nickname he can think of (Wrestling Jesus, My best friend, a savvy lover, etc.) Matt shows how out of shape he is when he winds himself twirling his arms just waiting for Corino to finish.  Bobby Cruise then introduces Jay Briscoe...and we cut to commercial?!  Hopefully Matt uses the break to catch his breath

We're back with the opening bell.  Collar and Elbow tie-up ensues with Hardy taking the advantage.  Hardy begins working the arm...slowly.  Briscoe eventually ends the dull riveting working of the arm by Hardy and brings some energy to the match by stomping a mud hole in the corner.  Jay stays in control with a European uppercut and some shoulder thrusts in the corner.  Hardy dodges the last in a series of shoulder thrusts and sends the world champ shoulder first into the ring post.  Arm bar DDT and a hammerlock from Hardy.  Briscoe elbows out but gets dropped by a side-effect for 2.  The crowd chants "Die Hardy Die".  The audience might get it's wish if he doesn't get some air to his lungs soon!  Jay tries for a Death Valley Driver but his arm gives out and Hardy lands a Twist of Fate(1) for 2.  More arm work by Hardy takes us to another commercial break.

Back with Briscoe unleashing a flurry of punches against Hardy.  He lands a dropkick but lands on the bad shoulder and can't capitalize.  Well that's a pretty avoidable Fuck up for a wrestler the caliber of World Champion.  Hardy shows off the incredible daredevil offense that made him famous with an elbow to the back of a STANDING Jay's head from the SECOND rope.  I make a more death defying leap getting out of bed in the morning.  Briscoe refuses to sell that bullshit and just superkicks Hardy for 2.  Briscoe hits a Rude Awakening for 2.  The Jay Driller is blocked and Corino sweeps Briscoe's legs out from under him behind the Ref's back.  Hardy capitalizes with a Twist of Fate(2) for yet another 2 count.  Hardy chucks Briscoe and rams him repeatedly into the barricade.  Back in the ring Hardy tries to choke the Champion out but his butterfly choke is reversed into a back body drop.  Jay Driller connects this time and gets a very close near fall.  Briscoe starts viciously stomping on Hardy's ankle and he sells a leg injury.  The ref stops to check on him and Matt takes his boot off.  Jay goes back to attack the now exposed ankle, so the ref pushes him off.  Hardy now shows he was faking and blasts Briscoe with the boot, but still only gets 2.  Hardy hits another Twist of Fate(3), then picks him back up for ANOTHER Twist of Fate(4) and that still only gets two.  Hardy locks on a butterfly choke and Briscoe has no way of getting out, but Hardy's stamina fails him and he has to let go. I love shoot spots that aren't intended as shoot spots.  Hardy gets a 2 count then climbs up for a moonsault(!) but is cut off up top by Briscoe.  Jay succeeds at delivering a super back suplex, but Hardy lands on top of Briscoe and The Champ has to kick out at 2.  Jay Driller looks to finish but his arm gives out and Hardy reverses into position for Twist of Fate(5), but Jay reverses it into a small package for the three count and mercifully ends this. * The crowd goes Bat shit crazy celebrating the win at the end, which was probably the only thing about the match worth watching.  Matt is down to only having a half dozen moves in his arsenal, and that counts punching and sucking wind.

Post match Rhino comes out and GORE! GORE! GORES! Jay Briscoe.  Mark runs out to make the save but shows the effects of his Concussion after banging his head on a mule kick.  Corino Hits him in the back of the head with his $10 punch and Mark's out for the night.  The rest of S.C.U.M. runs out and stops Whitmer, Lethal, and Elgin from making the save, tie-strapping them to the bottom rope.  Crowd wants Steen.  Security runs out but S.C.U.M. just annihilates them and goes back to work.  Rhino hits Mark with three con-chair-tos to right him off TV, then Jay has his bad arm placed in a chair for a Hardy double stomp of cruel vacating power.  There is your Briscoe write off in a believably brutal beat down.  Show goes off the air with Kevin Kelly wishing damnation on Steve Corino for what he and S.C.U.M. have done to the Briscoes.  I assume Steen's absence was due to no-one bothering to help him when he was beat down at Best in the World.  Steen is in this for vengeance, not to make new friends.

The opener is decent, and the ending angle is good--but the main event is horseshit.  This marks the first Thumbs down I give ROH.  Here's hoping Steel Cage Warfare redeems this next week.   

Comments

  1. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 23, 2013 at 11:27 PM

    "Righteous furry drives Cole to kick Strong so hard in the leg that the ghost of Owen Hart felt bad"

    Dude, I was fucking DYING laughing at this!

    And yeah, that main event was garbage. Fuck Matt Hardy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kyle's the only funny posting dude on this site other than Scott.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know this isn't really relating to anything. But Strong is the biggest indy goof that ever indy goofed.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Boo! I Love the Messiah of the Back-breaker!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for spotting the Typo, it has been fixed


    The jubilation from the crowd following his defeat shows that they agree with that assessment of Matt Hardy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks man! I really wasn't confident I'd be able to handle these going in, but people really seem to like them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:02 AM

    Not even close. Richards, Fish/O'Reilly, RD Evans... need I go on? And anyway, even though he's technically not an indy goof anymore I'd say Chris Hero deserves that title.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:04 AM

    I think they are better than mine (though I will say I was damn proud of mine), and that's really the highest praise I can give, given the circumstances.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:06 AM

    To be fair, he's the only one trying to be funny, outside of Caliber. Bayless, Hall, etc... usually play it pretty straight. Or are you talking about commentors too?

    ReplyDelete
  10. He can't be, we got funny comenters coming out our ass around here...I suppose that does make it just a dig at Caliber...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:17 AM

    I didn't mean any disrespect or anything, but I just don't think he's funny, and I don't really care for his reviews. Just not my thing, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  12. No no, I know there was no disrespect, and I don't really "get" Caliber's reviews either--just like I know some people don't like my style. I like having Caliber around, he's a very different voice on many things in the coments

    ReplyDelete
  13. I thought my opinion of Caliber was well known.


    He stinks.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Where is Fuj? It's his two favorite things in this thread right now, ROH and shitting on Caliber

    ReplyDelete
  15. Have you heard him talk?

    ReplyDelete
  16. All he can do is work ONE match. No promos, no character work, no psychology.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes, He's better on the Stick then Davey. Roderick would look at home in the X-division. To me true "Indy Geeks" are spotmonkeys like Ricochet or the Amazing Red.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:28 AM

    I was just making sure HE knew there was no disrespect, I don't want to get into a flame war or some shit and I have nothing against him personally, it's not like he's a troll or anything. That post was more directed at him than you, I guess, if he reads this.

    ReplyDelete
  19. No character work isn't true though, the guys been around long enough to have the little nuances in his performance. ADR can only work one match, and he's the World Heavyweight Champion in the WWE.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:29 AM

    As nwa88 said, if I told you, he'd have to kill me.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:29 AM

    Who? Stong, or Hero?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes avoiding a flame war would be good, especially when I get along with Caliber personally.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Man, remember how pissed Dougie got last week, this week is better, 23 comments from 3 guys!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:34 AM

    Yeah, Caliber is a good guy, I just don't care for his writing, that's all. And it's not terrible or anything. I mean, you guys know me, if I think something sucks ass I won't be shy about it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:42 AM

    He works for the Special Forces or something in the U.S. military, he's probably in Afghanistan right now. We can't be sharing info with non-Americans, I know you guys got our back, but still, national security and what not...


    Fucking terrorist pricks, I miss being able to go to Canada without a ton of hassle. Assholes...

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm keeping the dream alive.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 1:48 AM

    Your shitting on ROH/Caliber game is top notch. If you're going to do something, do it well, right?

    ReplyDelete
  28. ADR is so far superior at getting his character across (heel or face) in his wrestling matches than pretty much any wrestler ever.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Strong. His voice...I can't even analyze his promos his voice is so bad. Davey doesn't sound like a complete nerd when he talks.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ricochet and Amazing have/have had multi-year careers with national companies.


    Roddy?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Do I shit on RoH? I mean...I hate like half the talent in it, but so do you two.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 2:01 AM

    I think Davey is better on the stick then people give him him credit for. I mean, he's not good or anything, but... I dunno, he delivers his promos (even if shitty) in a real confident way, like someone who a 15 year vet should. It's the guys that have that "deer in the headlights" look that I hate the most.


    But yeah, Strong sucks on the stick. Managers/mouthpieces need to make a comeback. Now.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 2:02 AM

    Agree on Red, but Ricochet is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 2:13 AM

    I wouldn't say I hate half the talent, more like a third of it. But yeah, you often come in every ROH review and trash the show. But you're usually both funny and pretty accurate with said comments.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey I...just had an Idea for a post because of that--Tacked onto one of my reviews will be a report card for EVERYONE listed on ROH's roster page too see what the real state of the talent is

    ReplyDelete
  36. As awful as Matt Hardy is, at least he currently has one of the best entrance themes in wrestling.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm pretty every RoH fan trashes every show.


    But we're still watching every week.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I prefer the core S.C.U.M. theme. But pretty much all the rock themes for RoH are good. Now if only we could actually hear them...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Man does this arena look awful from any angle other than the hard camera. They cram bleachers beside the entry way on the hard camera side, then they switch to the ringside camera and it seems like there are only about 8 people there.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yeah, and Red has been in some really good matches that actually crescendoed to cool endings. Granted, mostly tag matches. Ultimate indy geek to me is someone like, say, Slim J.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hopefully Will Ferrera makes his ROH debut soon, along with his tag team partner John C. Reirra.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I want Eddie Murphra.

    ReplyDelete
  43. You mean the ADR whose face turn, other than Ricardo's involvement, was a near-total FAILURE? To the point where "heel" Dolph blew the roof off when he cashed in, and ADR got booed despite "fighting the good fight"? (And that's one where even a not-so-smarky crowd might have reacted similarly.)


    Heel ADR: Okay, if not great.
    Face ADR: Might have worked in Mexico, but it's tanked here.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Who cares about the plebeians? They also cheer for Cena calling people smelly and the Miz making walrus jokes about Paul Heyman.

    I will say this. And the hipsterness of it might make you explode, but I don't care.

    If you don't think ADR is a great wrestler, you don't "get it". You're probably also an Angle/RVD mark.

    ReplyDelete
  45. CHIKARA is the height of indy geekdom, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJuly 24, 2013 at 6:03 PM

    Yeah it does, and what's odd is that they've used that arena many times and it usually looked decent (by indy standards). I think they changed the layout around, and they need to change it back.

    ReplyDelete
  47. The new layout looked BETTER on ppv--the 200-500 people that didn't come back for the taping are the problem

    ReplyDelete
  48. You JUST SAID ADR was better at getting his character over, then concede that he wasn't over. Angle is a wrestling god RVD has psychology issues without a great opponent.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Getting his character across would be superior phrasing.


    My other point is that if you dislike ADR, you are the wrestling equivalent of a Michael Bay fan.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Del Rio is subtler, Superior wrestling?

    No...just no

    ReplyDelete
  51. So is the plan to stick Cole with Corino after SCUM disbands? He could use a mouthpiece (amongst other things) but I've had more than enough of the King of Old. Maybe Nana?


    And the ONLY good thing about the main was the asskicking delivered post match. Jay was trying his ass off, but a 100% healthy CM Punk couldn't have gotten *** out of Matt "Where's Charlie Haas? I ATE HIM!" Hardy.


    So Steel Cage Warfare = Wargames, or just a caged 8 man tag?

    ReplyDelete
  52. The king of Old is one of the most entertaining parts of ROH IMO. I was worried he wouldn't have a spot in world post-S.C.U.M. I think managing Cole is good for both parties AND gives Cole and Steen an instant reason to have a blood feud


    Steen got a *** match out of Hardy, He needed copious amounts of interference and a no DQ stipulation, but he FORCED it into a great garbage brawl.


    Wargames...I think--Either way I suspect the match eats up the entire hour next week

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment