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42 seconds of Total Divas

This is all I will subject you to, which I hope you will endure, as it
is germane to the point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWX4OCNdXuk

I know that Kay Fabe is dead (may she rest in peace with Katie Vick),
but regardless, doesn't it sort of diminish the "Everyman Appeal" of a
guy like Daniel Bryan to show him in first class, sharing a hot pair
of twins and eating sushi with the guy that most fans resent for
having the top spot in THIS BUSINESS?

The whole real/kayfabe mix on Total Divas is kind of mystifying to me in general.  I'm not even sure what it's supposed to be accomplishing, but I guess it just kind of exists in its own universe anyway.  Either way, I'm sure people can separate Bryan the sushi-eating jet-flying twin-banging person from Bryan the character.  

Comments

  1. But if you watched the whole episode, that was very specifically Bryan doing the "John Cena" life, before they went to Bryan's home, which was his childhood home, in Aberdeen, cutting wood, etc.

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  2. I think that Daniel Bryan will be the only good thing on Total Divas, just his reaction in that 42 second clip alone is brilliant.

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  3. I believe that last line should read "jet-plane flyin', Bella twin ridin' sushi-eating, wheeling and dealing son of a gun! Woooo!"

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  4. That's not first class... that's a private jet.

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  5. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    posted this in another thread since we didnt have a total divas post, so here we go again on our own, walking down the only road weve ever known, like a drifter we were born to walk along:

    after watching tonights ep of total divas, i would not want to know some of those vapid fuckers in real life

    and that includes cena

    dbry, jojo, naomi, and jimmy uso seem down to earth. verdict is still out on nattie

    after seeing his house and then seeing how he reacted to dbry's house, it's so good to know that cena's kept his humility

    /sarcasm

    and damn that bit with road dogg couldnt have been more staged 'you
    know you guys are playing the villains tonight. how about you guys use
    that... twin magic that youve been doing'

    eva marie, fuck you you lying gold digger. lol at you thinking that
    youve found your true love after 2 months of dating. and you shouldve
    just tried to suck fandango cock from the start; it woulda saved a lot
    of time and bs

    cameron, fuck you you ungrateful brat. how ya gonna play sandra like that?!

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  6. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    'Bella twin ridin' sushi-eating'


    think about that juxtaposition for a moment

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  7. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    yeah. one thing i noticed was that on the plane when all of 'em toasted champagne, dbry had a bottle of water

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  8. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    also, lol at them having to blur out naomis cameltoe

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  9. On a side note, cool to see Danielson living it up, flying in jets, getting PAID, and nailing divas when most everybody assumed he would be stuck in the indy's for his career

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  10. Yeah I watched this episode just out of morbid curiosity and can't believe they're putting this on TV.


    Bryan comes off as the only human being on the show. I'm the guy who usually defends Cena but my god does he come across as a huge douchenozzle. I can't believe WWE would put this John Cena on TV. I know his gimmick isn't being the down to earth everyman babyface character but what's on this show living in the huge mansion and having this creepy relationship with Nikki is not the John Cena WWE is pushing. I know I'm infringing on Jesse Baker's gimmick now but don't they HAVE to turn him at some point in the next year now and use this show as foreshadowing?



    Also could Johnny Curtis come off any creepier? I know the show is staged and this kind of fits with his character but yikes, if I liked Eva Marie even in the slightest I would have called the cops.


    This show just makes me feel like I need a shower.

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  11. Alright, fine, maybe it needs a little work...

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  12. I had absolutely no intention of watching this show, but all the posts I've read so far have given me a morbid curiosity to check it out. I'm fighting the urge, though. I don't want to go blind.

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  13. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonAugust 5, 2013 at 10:08 AM

    D-Bry should think about it like if he was a Horseman. Just being around the #1 dude in the business he gets to fly on private jets and date a Bella twin.

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  14. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonAugust 5, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    ..or Bella twin eating jet plane flyin'

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  15. Dbry is a good man.

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  16. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    i'm thoroughly convinced that nikki doesnt love cena, she loves who cena is and what he represents


    and when brie said she thinks its so hot that her man (dbry) looks like a lumberjack, i wonder if she'd feel that way knowing that most lumberjacks probably actually look like tensei or kevin steen: burly dudes

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  17. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    well, yes eating, but the emPHAsis i was going for was the sushi-eating...

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  18. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    one of us


    one of us

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  19. Skipped through it on youtube and, wow, John Cena does come across like a materialistic prick. Nikki too, obviously, but that was expected.

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  20. Eva Marie having dinner with Fandango at a fancy Tampa Bay steakhouse to ask him about being her dancer is the greatest thing ever.


    They aren't even trying

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  21. I watched the entire premiere episode (and I really don't know why, since I'm notorious around here for demanding the diva crap get shuffled off to Main Event and never ruin RAW again), and trying to figure out what's "real" and what's kayfabe is impossible. The Bellas in "real life" act just like the "The Bella Twins", and frankly they both seem like bitches.

    And I'm torn on whether Nattie is a whiner or Nattie is getting FUBARed by everyone in the company.

    So, the hell with this show. Let it run it's one season then be done with it.

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  22. This episode seemed much more staged than the last. They made Cena look like a total rock star and Bryan look like an inbred hick... although I think Cena and his Bella
    came off as the most judgmental, unlikeable asshats I have ever seen... like they seemed like the "cool kids" out of a teen movie... Cena would be played by William Zabka

    And the Fandango portion seemed very staged as that is the ONLY
    person so far that they have referred to by their gimmick name...
    honestly the only believable person to me so far is Eva Marie... because
    she looks exactly like would be the shallow hobag that she is coming off as.

    All that said it is a mildly entertaining show just to see WWE from a different perspective.

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  23. Total Divas: All our boyfriends are named John.

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  24. Aberdeen, Washington might sue the show for making it look like such a shitty place. I literally mean shitty too.

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  25. Agree on all fronts. The thing is, I don't think they were trying to give Cena the douche edit - that's just how he comes off.


    I feel for Brie a bit - even as a staged product, it's clear who the alpha Bella is.

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  26. I love that Johnny Curtis seems to fit into the role of Fandango like a glove. Great example of the whole "real life personality w/the volume turned up" goal everyone espouses.

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  27. I told my wife last night, "Even if it's not John Cena money, this guy is on the verge of getting PAID".

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  28. Sandra don't play. She handled that interaction at the end like a boss.

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  29. Its hard to say... I don't know how much WWE has to do with the production etc... but it seems to me that in their minds this edit was designed to make Cena look like a superstar stud, and Bryan a hippie nerd... which is an extension of their feud... and how they view good guys in real life (like Cena)... if not then yeah Cena is an even bigger douche than his character and Nikki is a nasty bitch who isn't being supportive of her sister.

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  30. Let's just keep sweet, tasty booze out of this.

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  31. 'I'm a lioness; I'm protective'.



    God dammit, now I have to watch this show.

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  32. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 1:19 PM

    'Cena would be played by William Zabka'


    cena is not that AWESOME

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  33. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    'And I'm torn on whether Nattie is a whiner or Nattie is getting FUBARed by everyone in the company.'


    yeah, thats why i said for me the jury is still out on where she falls in the 'like her/she's annoying' spectrum

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  34. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    when cameron asked her to please help with the outfits, i was legit rooting for sandra to say no


    AND SHE DID, LIKE A BOSS

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  35. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    it is both the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems

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  36. Its very interesting to see a wrestling culture such as the group of hardcore fans that flock to sites like this. Its interesting to see them dealing with wrestling characters in a setting where they don't know "who's being pushed" or what the plans for the rest of the month are or anything else.


    I also find it very funny that although the guys on here have years and years of wrestling experience and have been as knowledable as one gets about "this business of ours". They are in here acting like the markiest marks of all marks. I see things like


    "Cena comes across like a douche because he made fun of Daniel's house". If you lived in a five million dollar mansion you might make fun of somebody's house too. Raise your hand if you've never made fun of something that someone else had that was less than yours....


    Anyway its just funny to see things like "Cena's a douche" "we know who the alpha Bella is" "I feel sorry for Brie" "Bryan is the most down to earth on the show". I have no idea what Bryan did to get this ghetto pass of sorts on the internet but the guy can do no wrong. Its like he's Chris Benoit.....another guy that could do no wrong and was perfect in every way.....


    Anyway nothing new here another day on the internet. Daniel Bryan is being made to look sad, John Cena is evil, the Bella's are skanks, and all WWE programming is boring and unimaginative and thats why we spend a dozen hours a week watching it and even go to other television networks to watch NON wrestling programming....

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  37. Just because someone in a mansion might make fun of someone else's house doesn't make it an okay thing to do.

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  38. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 2:27 PM

    'Raise your hand if you've never made fun of something that someone else had that was less than yours....'


    gotta admit i cant do that, brah.


    cause just now ive been making fun of your weak mind and your pitiful little perspective on us

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  39. I'm with the Asshole here, I try not be that kind of ass-clown when it comes to making fun of those less fortunate than me.

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  40. I think they are staging every bit of Eva Marie. I doubt they would just audition her to be the partner of fandango hours before the live show in front of everyone. Like they wouldn't practice that somewhere else first?

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  41. I'm going by the Crz rule of it makes it on TV, it's kayfabe.

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  42. Maybe Danielson was nice as Hell to everyone while he was coming up and people remember that? I've met him a bunch of times and the guy is seriously the nicest person ever.

    Also, what kind of asshole makes fun of someone else for owning less than they do?

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  43. Yeah, I like to run up to people in wheelchairs and poke fun at them for not being able to walk.

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  44. I believe that last line should read "jet-plane flyin', Bella twin ridin' sushi-eating, wheeling and dealing son of a gun! YES! YES! YES!"



    Fixed it for you.

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  45. And with all the times Eva pronounced his name like the movie site, I was hoping he'd go into character and school her. Then HE pronounces it just like her! I am SO disillusioned.

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  46. And do they really use a different girl in every location? I can remember Summer Rae and the professional dancer...who else??????

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  47. Yes, unless it is like NXT, which they pretend exists in its own little world too.


    This may be just me wishing for kayfabe to return, but I can imagine younger fans watching this and being totally confused (then again, which younger fans would have parents who let them watch E! prime time????). This is kind of like a Vince Russo WCW 2000 segment, except WWE is at least TRYING to keep it separate from their main shows. But I think things will be such that they will soon have to mix the two. And if they portray Cena like this, it makes them look dumber for holding the heel turn.

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  48. Yeah, I thought of that too. Maybe for house shows they were using different girls? I only remembered the professional dancer and Summer Rae too.

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  49. Hey now, Bryan had the Bella Twin first. Cena got the second one.

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  50. Cena put flair to shame... Mazzaratti drivin jet flyin... That pool was fuckin sick. Stop hatin on a guy bc for 8 years he worked his ass off to hv the nicer things.

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  51. I don't think that they all start off as vapid fuckers. I think the lifestyle turns most people into vapid fuckers.

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  52. He did have a drink later on in the pool.

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  53. He's a man. Such a man. He's a real, real man's man.

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  54. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 5, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    true

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  55. All of this are the staples of the "reality TV" dramas we've seen over the years. Girls acting catty, the young girl lying to get ahead (and "stepping out" on her fiance to be with Fandago in the hopes it would get her the job she lied about being qualified for), the "rich star" looking down on the "humble guy" and the one girl getting in the head of the other about her future plans... I mean this is just a reality TV show so it's going to be structured and put together like the rest of them. Any fan who is taking this seriously should have their head examined.

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  56. To me, Cameron comes off the most "real". She's seemingly oblivious to what a huge, vapid, entitled cunt she comes off as. She showed similar qualities on Tough Enough.



    Everyone else seems rehearsed and is over-acting (especially Eva Marie).

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  57. I've never heard of Aberdeen as anything but a rain-filled, redneck-filled, dreary, close-minded, depressing shit hole. It's where Kurt Cobain was from, and in all of his biographies, they make it out to be pretty much hell on earth.

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  58. I don't know, maybe it's just the kind of guy I am, but I'd rather go to a place like Cena's for the summer, during a holiday, and I genuinely would like to spend my days in a place like Aberdeen. It's just feels right to me, I get why Nikki and John were taken aback, but I saw it and the place looked beautiful to me more than Tampa.

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  59. They're going for two different audiences, they are trying to dip into the demo that watches "Real Housewives." I'm sure it's Stephanie's idea, and I agree it's misguided.

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  60. For the first weeks of the bit they used a different girl all the time, then they decided it was a good way to use Summer, even though she's not a very good dancer. Even though she's a smoke show I have to admit the fact that she can't dance bumps me from this bit every time now.

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