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Monday Night Open Mic

Howdy Blog O'Doomers

Been sort of a nice, quiet week with my husband and kid out fishing for much of the time.

I watched "Forever Hardcore" on YouTube a couple of days ago. Nothing shocking that hasn't been covered in the "official" ECW documentaries. New Jack laughing about trying to kill Vic Grimes is a little haunting and Terry Funk explaining why he chose Shane Douglas' Hardcore Reunion show over a much more lucrative contract from the WWE to do One Night Stand was a very appropriate way to end the doc and spelled out this connection some guys had to the organization despite all reasons (financially speaking) to do something else.

Of course Funk did the show a year later and was part of an awesome six-man with Dreamer and Beulah vs. Foley, Edge and Lita. Certainly worth a watch if you've never seen it before.

Oh yeah and Francine's voice is quite annoying and I think Shane Douglas is generally a liar.

My other issue comes from the Mark Henry interview Scott posted here a while back and my question of how to book this guy as a face.

The wrestling world screwed up booking giants as faces when they started letting them suffer clean pin falls. Andre the Giant never got pinned as a face, at least none I've ever seen. He would let you cut his hair and bust his sternum and obviously more than a few people slammed him (http://youtu.be/WY41wT2DjSI) but he wasn't being pinned clean. And the WWF actually did a good job with Earthquake in the early 90s but later Vader's horrible face run ended with him being pinned right and left after no one of importance put him over as a hell in the WWF. This was one of those times when the WCW actually booked a guy a million times better. Yokozuna as a face didn't get pinned as often but he looked horrible...of course he was also near 700 pounds at the time.

Obviously in today's wrestling giants job more than guys named 'Horowitz' or 'Lombardi' (just look at the Great Khali) but it would be nice to protect Mark Henry a little this time around given the fact that after 15-16 years he's finally found his niche and people really buy him as an ass kicker. So they should work at protecting his ability to kick ass and put in positions where he doesn't look weak. The first time they did this 3-4 years ago he looked strong for about two weeks after the turn and then he was selling like Sin Cara for everyone. Maybe they have seen the error of their ways and things change this time around but unfortunately something tells me he is going to eat a pinfall.

Anyway, enjoy the show and come out swinging but try to keep it clean.

Comments

  1. "A real mountain of a man there, Brain!"
    "You said it, Monsoon! You could..."
    "Hey! How much does DIS fella weigh?"

    ...


    "This ham and egger is cramping my style, Monsoon."
    "Yeah! I'd love some ham and eggs!"
    "Art O'Donnell could go for some breakfast, Bobby! I love it."

    "Yeah, you got rocks in your head? Leave him alone, Bobby the Stain!"


    ....



    "Alright! Who's the humanoid that let Mongo in here?"

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  2. New Jack is a scumbag that no one would miss if he just disappeared off the earth. What a piece of crap that guy is

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  3. Say that to his face.

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  4. What's the Internet for anyway mate? Does he seem like a decent bloke to you?

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  5. Calm down Alex Riley.

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  6. Not sure what a "bloke" is.

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  7. Don't you have the brain cells to figure it out?

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  8. If only There could've been an announce team of Bobby, Gorilla, Donovan, and Mongo. Epic!

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  9. Bloody Hell, I'm just going to watch my telly, sip a pint, and keep my mouth shut.

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  10. The rapist wit of Mongo, har har. Bobby the Stain Hernia was as clever as it got for good ol Mongo.

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  11. OK, so who's actually watching Raw, and who's turning on the NYY/CWS game to see the return of A-Roid?

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  12. Over/Under the number of times WWE mentions A-Rod/Biogensis: 4

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  13. Those promos in those three weeks post Mania 14 were something else. "The easy way or the hard way," "Can I have about 10 seconds to think about it?," "Where are those Gucci shoes I got for you," "Bow down to Stone Cold" *nutshot*...

    Might have to watch that last disc again of the latest Stone Cold set. It's basically a best of Austin-McMahon promos during 97-01.

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  14. I've got the game on. The last time I went to a Yankees-White Sox game in Chicago (in 2011), the fans at US Cellular Field absolutely tore into A-Rod (and I don't even think he was playing in the game I attended). I imagine the boos will be louder than John Cena pinning CM Punk at the All State Arena.

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  15. I'll take the under. I can't imagine WWE wants to throw stones about steroids. Maybe Michael Cole comes to A-Rod's defense tonight?

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  16. I'll guess 0. They're too far behind the curve.


    In about two months though, they'll probably run a PED angle.

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  17. Bring back Goldust to say "TOR-TOR-TORRIE WILSON!"

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  18. I just noticed, but is John Cena even in the Raw opening? I don't think I saw him anywhere.

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  19. Ladies and gentlemen, Stephanie McMahon (I change channel)

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  20. God's not here to help us, that's why.

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  21. Looks like Sandow's retarded, backwoods cousin.

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  22. I think he's first...

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  23. Stephanie's out? Suddenly I don't feel as annoyed by the fact that I can't find a half decent webstream tonight.

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  24. Daniel Sandow.

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  25. A Daniel Bryan make-over montage should be funny, what happened to comedy?

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  26. With Stephanie McMahon in the ring, I'm going to take the opportunity to start (and open it to whomever else to take over) a Smash/Pass on the hot daughters of famous people.

    So...John McCain's daughter, Meghan:

    http://gotliberty.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/meghan-mccain1.jpg?w=497

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  27. I'm terrible at this whole "seeing" thing.

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  28. Damian Sandow's older brother!

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  29. Ha. One dude chanting "ROH!" 1 out of 15,000 sounds about right.

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  30. This is pretty awesome.

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  31. Jacked up? Cargo shorts? Bright yellow T-Shirt?


    EVAD SULLIVAN?!

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  32. Hey BODers...oh, hey. Looks like nearly the same outfit Austin wore on his Raw Corp makeover.

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  33. I WANT TO BE A HULKAMANIAC!

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  34. "Look at me. Just look at me."


    Ain't I a sight to see?

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  35. Stephanie Mcmahon sounds like she is reciting memorized lines, but I bet she's someone with the "liberty" to just go out there and wing it.

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  36. I can't tell if this segment is dying or the crowd is watching with rapt attention.

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  37. Smash. Me likey.


    (Plus hatefucking a Republican's always fun.)

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  38. Hey...only Punk is allowed to say "wrestler" on WWE TV.

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  39. Rapt attention . . .

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  40. Jason Jeffrey BallAugust 5, 2013 at 6:08 PM

    Daniel Bryan is a WRESTLER! F'n right!

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  41. I hope this ends with a shot to the nuts for Stephanie, just like it did when they tried to makeover Steve Austin 15 years ago (has it really been 15 years...).

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  42. "He goes back to a Bella Twin.


    Oh, wait."

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  43. I crush hard on this damn woman, Republican or no. She's got curves like country roads, and bust like the NY Metropolitan Museum of Art.

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  44. Mark out for the word Wrestling . . .

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  45. I know this ship has already sailed but American Dragon is a pretty cool nickname with tons of t-shirt possibilities. Any reason why WWE never took it? Or is it just another instance of Vince didn't come up with it thus it's shit?

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  46. "They're mocking wrestling, King!"

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  47. Jason Jeffrey BallAugust 5, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    Oh my god...where has this promo been for the last 10 years?!?

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  48. "Time to go back to my mansion and eat my lobster! Hello, Mr. McMahon. I'm the worst worker in the world. Give me a raise!" - John Cena.

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  49. If only he wasn't doing this promo while looking like a highlander that is running for mayor.

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  50. oh, I won't turn down Republicans for being Republicans, I'll just aim for intense hatefucking.

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  51. Anti-TNA comment.

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  52. Vince would want the copywright and Bryan would want to keep the name to use if he leaves WWE someday. Same with every name/nickname change

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  53. Now we get to see the real star of the show!

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  54. I've always wondered what a good hatefuck would be like. They sound like fun.

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  55. But at least he doesn't have a blue knot.

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  56. Um, Rey Mysterio?

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  57. "The WWE has never had a dwarf for a champion."


    CHRIS BENOIT! BENOIT! BENOIT!

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  58. I had one BEFORE HE DID


    I"M COOL EVERYBODY

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  59. Next week: Mini Mick signs in crowd.

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  60. "W W E" Champion, Vince!

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  61. Wow, Vince has gotten really terrible at promos.

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  62. Seriously, every promo for the last several weeks.


    Funny enough, WE TV would be a better fit for Total Divas than E!

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  63. I'm actually with Vince on this one.

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  64. Vince the paranoid germ freak who gets his face jammed up a 500 pound man's ass and grabs that nappy beard

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  65. Vince's ties are tremendous.

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  66. When Bryan said he would make Cena tap out, did anyone else see one girl in the crowd, frowning with her arms cross. I did.

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  67. Time for John Cena to save Daniel Bryan from a forced shaving!

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  68. I thought HHH had D-Bry's back?

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  69. OH MY GOD, IT'S TWO Ws, VINCE! TWO!

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  70. Vince McMahon should be the LAST PERSON EVER to criticize someone's suit.

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  71. I'm going with "this segment is dying".

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  72. He literally hasn't pronounced WWE right once.

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  73. I thought I've been following this angle closely, but... have they really explained why Vince doesn't want Cena as champion?

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  74. No, he has pronounced it right exactly once.

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  75. This angle sucks. Fuck off Vince and just let 2 of the biggest stars in the company build their own program over the title, Then top it off with a red hot **** match!

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  76. YOU WANT TO BE CHAMPION? YOU WANT TO BE CHAMPION, PAL? WELL, HERE'S PATTTTTT PATTTTERRRRSSSSONNNNNNN!

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  77. It makes no sense.

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  78. Because Cena picked Bryan as his opponent

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  79. If Beefcake walks out i'll mark out like mad.

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  80. Brutiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  81. Vince McMahon: Because This Week I Have Power

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  82. new gimmick for Wade

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  83. Vince hates wrestling so much he can only say one of the W's in his company name. He thinks Cena is the World Entertainment Champion.

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  84. Umm Wade Barrett? And this makes any kind of sense? . . . If they refrence Nexus maybe . . .

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  85. Wade Barrett? What the hell is going on?

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  86. Wade "the barber" Beefcake.

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  87. Come on, Daniel. Tell off that bully Chris Finch!

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  88. Wade "The Barber" Barrett just doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

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  89. Wade the Barber Barrett is about to get his head shaved

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  90. Is that the same barber's chair Vince's hair did the job to at WrestleMania 23?

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  91. Ok, glad to see I wasn't the only one who kind of inched forward in my chair for a second thinking he might bring out Beefcake...

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  92. Oh no it's going to barrett a whole 3 days to regrow that

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  93. Now Barett's facial hair is jobbing out.

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  94. I bet the beard smells like Brie Bella.

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  95. Still didn't save the segment.

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  96. OH MAN I need that shirt

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  97. and you know, I realize most of y'all probably think the segment was stupid, but you know, it wasn't bad. And, if it helps DBry get over as a mainstay main eventer, I'm good with it.

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  98. Cole: "Now that's a close shave!"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC75aU47GRk

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  99. Just what WWE shirts need. More arrows.

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  100. I WILL have that shirt...

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  101. Well that wasn't a lame ending to the segment at all. Could be a long 3 hours...

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  102. Why wasn't anyone this concerned about Daniel Bryan being WWE champion during the THREE OTHER PPV WWE TITLE MATCHES HE HAD LAST YEAR!?

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  103. SHHHHH!they were telling a complex story!

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  104. So all of that was for the purpose of selling Daniel Bryan's new shirt?

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  105. Never mind. I get it now.

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  106. I would totally buy that shirt and not grow a beard. I'm certain it would make a few people's heads explode.

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  107. The "boss" of the show was busy feuding with John Cena. He didn't notice.

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  108. As much as it sucks, I'll take this everyday and twice on Sunday over having the Bellas involved.

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  109. Basically the purpose of the entire show.

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  110. That's what you get for going at the low hanging fruit.

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  111. Especially if you were out on a date

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  112. http://www.memegeneokerlund.com/media/created/vxrw39.jpg

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  113. Bruce Campbell>Cm Punk>all.

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  114. I thought the last year plus of huge pops at every arena would mean he's already a main eventer? But the WWE doesn't really listen to the fans excuse me WWE Universe any longer so those pops don't really mean much.

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  115. How I know that segment didn't work for me: I'm actually sitting here thinking "They should've had Cena come down". Yikes.

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  116. Essentially, I mean that the office views him that way...the same way they did after the PIPE BOMB promo for Punk. I don't think they see DBry that way yet, and I will love it when they do.

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  117. I'm outta here!

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  118. Miz hosting Summerslam lol

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  119. "How much weed did dis fella smoke?"

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  120. From a sound aesthetic standpoint, "The Champ is Beard" would be a better. They lose the music of the original saying with the appropriation that they went with.

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  121. "The Official Host of Summerslam" means even Vince is sick of watching him "wrestle."

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  122. "Yeah! It's The Miz!" - Somebody, somewhere. Maybe.

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  123. The segment just about went off the rails there, but it made Bryan look like a man who is willing to stand up to anybody, is bringing out Evil Vince once again (which isn't a bad thing "GET IN THE CHAIR"), and hopefully gives Barrett a push in some direction or another.



    That's a win, folks.

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  124. He must be able to strip the chrome of a trailer hitch.

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  125. I'm sick of seing him breathing,where's a death note when you need one.

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  126. How come RVD isn't more pissed at Randy Orton? Orton kicked him in the end and we didn't see RVD for 3 years. Then we didn't see him again until 3 years later.

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  127. A "severe injury"? What, did he trip and hit his head on some HGH?

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  128. Riccardo looks well.

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  129. The only word I picked up out of that is "placenta"

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  130. "Dat guy in the suit. Is he dat guy's second?"

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  131. Ricardo something something A-rod!

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  132. He does a shit-ton of media appearances and he's good at it. I thought Miz/CM Punk last year when Punk was a babyface World Champion would have been a good feud, since I figure Punk could have carried him to something north of ***.

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  133. I think the whole Alberto Del Rio face turn was for the sole purpose of getting rid of the expensive cars for his entrance.

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  134. Weed is a one helluva drug.

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  135. No but Aurora Rose had a close call with that once.

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  136. I'm old enough to remember when Miz was beating people with the Figure Four.

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  137. It does make you forgetful. What were we talking about?

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  138. Miz is perhaps the third best three letter broadcaster in wrestling today!

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  139. Quiet, grampa!

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  140. Why is Christian watching the match from the side of the television?

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  141. He's the fifth best broadcaster at that table.

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  142. Even Flair couldn't make the guy seem legit.

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  143. The important thing, was that they had a spinner on the belt, which was the style at the time...

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  144. Hey, they just won the battle to replace those 8 inch monitors the wrestlers used to watch in the back. Cut him some slack

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  145. Ad break. Another Famous Peoples' Daughters edition of Smash or Pass:

    Kurt Cobain/Courtney Love's daughter, Francis Bean Cobain:

    http://cdn.theatlanticwire.com/img/upload/2011/10/28/57170291/large.jpg

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  146. Nope, blowjobs.

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  147. Miz should shift to manager. He can talk, he can get over as a heel, but he can't wrestle for shit. Like him be a talker for someone who can't talk (I'm looking at you Ryback).

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  148. I pay almost no attention to TNA well ever, even less now that my cable provider doesn't air it anymore without extra fees but Rob Van Dam looks and wrestles pretty much exactly as i remember him back in 06. Did he tone up for this WWE run or what?

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  149. Pretty sure I could play back my PVR of the Bella Twins running in that Summerslam commercial for the remainder of the show.

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  150. Pass... because now I feel old and she looks batshit crazy there.

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  151. Um. She's better looking than I would have guessed, but all I can see is where she came from. Pass.

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  152. Not enough info. I need to see the whole body. Her eyes look vacant and soulless though.

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  153. Never stick your dick in crazy.

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  154. Ugh. I'd never touch anything that came out of Courtney's vagina.

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  155. More, but not much:

    http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/loudwire.com/files/2012/04/73272265.jpg

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  156. Hey, anyone else catch JBL's "There goes Brutus" when Barrett got tossed earlier?

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  157. Both look like transvestites.

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  158. I wouldn't say he can't wrestle for shit just that his natural ceiling is 3 snowflakes on a good day. But the guys a heel, period. It'd be like Ravishing Rick Rude kissing the fat chicks on his way down the aisle.

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  159. They couldn't think of anything at all interesting to do with Ricardo coming back? Maybe have him do a fake face turn (which fans would buy because they like him anyway), act mad at ADR for letting him get beat up, say he's backing Christian at SummerSlam, then pull the double-cross and re-join ADR? Would have at least been an attempt to get some heel heat on the world champ.

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  160. I'll take an angry blowjob and nothing more.

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  161. I stand by my original assessment.

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  162. ADR loses to Christian then to RVD.


    2002 is not ADR's year, it seems.

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  163. I thought RVD was coming back on a limited time basis... Dude's wrestled every show since he's been back I think.

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  164. Had to get his loss back...


    Three way at Summerslam?

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  165. Whoa...face turn for Ricardo? Ok, I guess.

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  166. So the WHC is now officially useless right? Alberto's jobbed a half dozen times in the past month now. Oh and hey look Ricardo just got future endeavored.

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  167. I wish Mr. Rodriguez well is his future endeavors.

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  168. That shot looked like it hurt.

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  169. Ziggler should have Riccardo announce him as retaliation.

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