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The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–08.01.13

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 08.01.13

Live-ish from Wichita Falls in some state I don’t know. Later I learn it’s Texas.

Your hosts are Jeremy Borash & Mike Tenay, as Taz is apparently barred from the building for some reason.

Meanwhile, the mysterious guy offers another August 1 warning. It better not be fucking Tito Ortiz.

Austin Aries joins us to start, as America has voted for Aries v. Styles as the BFG Series match tonight. And he’s gunning for Chris Sabin. This brings out Bobby Roode, and apparently their friendship is OVER.

Bound For Glory Series: Bobby Roode v. Hernandez

The look and sound of this arena is REALLY small-time, and almost the whole thing is blacked out. We’re joined after a break with Hernandez overpowering Roode, but a RR spinebuster gets two. They head to the floor for a brawl, as Hernandez hits the stairs, and Roode gets two off that. Roode whips him around, but Hernandez pulls himself to the top, then misses a flying splash. Roode pounces with the crossface, but Hernandez powers out and comes back with a shoulder tackle. Air Mexico sets up the Border Toss, but Roode escapes and goes low for two. Roode gets flustered and throws chairs in, then uses the distraction to find a beer bottle under the ring, which gives him the pin at 5:33. That was a pretty clunky finish. **

Meanwhile, Eric Young has a plan to make sure Joseph Park doesn’t lose control and get disqualified tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: Jay Bradley v. Joseph Park

Young’s secret plan for Park: Regulation headgear, which will keep him from getting busted open. Bradley runs him into the turnbuckle to no effect, but drop a knee for two. Bradley pounds away with elbows in the corner, but Park cradles for two. Bradley drops elbows for two. Kneedrop gets two. Bradley goes up, and Park brings him down for a boston crab, which Bradley quickly escapes. Bradley with an atomic drop and he pulls the headgear off, but walks into Park’s samoan drop for the pin at 4:20. This was pretty bad, but I’m constantly amazed at the skill required on Park’s part to play someone having a bad match despite being a totally competent worker. We can pin this one on Bradley anyway, as he was lumbering around the ring and not doing much other than playing the bully. *

Chris Sabin v. Manik

Finally either enough people have filed in to light up the camera side, or they’ve smartly moved everyone off the far side, but it looks much better in the arena now. This stuff just looks SO bush-league, though. Stalemate sequence to start and we take a break. Back with Sabin in control and working the arms, but Manik fires off a headscissors and a springboard dropkick. Sabin counters out of Manik’s finisher, but Manik powerbombs him for two. He goes up and Sabin follows for a delayed superplex that gets two. They slug it out and Sabin rolls him up for two. The Hail Sabin finishes at 11:48. Sabin is clearly just a placeholder and doesn’t get main event reactions. *** Bully Ray steps in for the beatdown afterwards.

Meanwhile, Taz is upset at getting banned and breaks into the mysterious white hummer, but there’s a laptop playing the mysterious video.

Meanwhile, Bad Influence squabble about their BFG Series match next week, and Kaz SPILLS THE APPLETINI. Oh, it’s war now.

Gail Kim v. ODB

They fight on the ramp and ODB pounds away for two, but goes up and gets slammed off. Kim chokes away in the corner and gets a dropkick for two. Clothesline gets two. Gail takes her down by the hair and gets two. ODB comes back with a fallaway slam and gets a powerslam for two. Gail escapes and tries the ringpost figure-four, but gets run into the post as a result. They brawl on the floor for the double countout at 6:09. *1/2

Meanwhile, AJ is still jaded and brooding. Dreams are for losers and stuff.

Meanwhile, Bully Ray is still holding the wedding ring over Brooke’s head, but she has vague threats about the contract for the title match if he doesn’t divorce her.

Austin Aries v. AJ Styles

They do some mat wrestling to start and Aries gets a rollup for two. He goes up and gets dropkicked off by Styles, who follows with a crossbody to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ hitting the dropkick and throwing kicks, and into a dragon suplex that sends Aries to the floor. Nasty. AJ hits the chinlock, but Aries elbows out and comes back with a running clothesline. They fight over a suplex, and Aries gets a backslide for two. Neckbreaker on the apron and Aries goes up with a missile dropkick and corner dropkick, but they fight for a superplex and AJ turns it into a hanging neckbreaker for two. 450 misses and Aries gets the Last Chancery, which AJ fights out of and reverses into the Calf Killer. And then Aries turns that into the brainbuster for two. Aries to the top, but HIS 450 misses now and AJ clotheslines him onto the ramp. AJ tries to follow with a springboard, but Aries trips him up. He tries the brainbuster, but AJ suplexes him onto the ramp. Aries backdrops him onto the floor and follows with a dive, but AJ sends him into the stairs and both guys are dead. Back in, they slug it out and AJ gets his strike combo, so Aries suplexes him on his head, and AJ nails him with the Pele. Both guys are own and the ref counts both down, but Aries gets his shoulder up for the win at 19:01. Amazing match, shit finish. Did they fire the guys who came up with the good finishes or something? ****1/4

Main Event Interview: The Main Event Mafia join us with an offer that Aces & Eights can’t refuse. That offer: A match at Hardcore Justice, where the loser of the fall leaves TNA. Isn’t that just called Friday? Oh, and then it’s fucking Tito Ortiz as the mystery man. This is apparently something that I am supposed to care about.

The Pulse

Good thing that the wrestling was good tonight, because that was one of the lamest payoffs for a mystery man angle since…well…most of the Aces & Eights reveals, I guess. Apparently Bellator is going to try their hand at getting slaughtered by UFC on PPV, and they’re going with Rampage v. Tito as a real main event that they expect people to pay money to see. Promoted on a show where they can’t convince more than 10,000 people to buy THEIR PPVs.

Download the AJ v. Aries match, forget the rest.

Comments

  1. Also wanted to add: Is there REALLY anyone in 2013 who believes a "loser leaves town" stipulation? Are they literally banking on filing the arenas with country rubes fresh off the turnip truck or something?

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  2. I didn't understand why Kurt would want the loser of the fall to leave TNA as part of his plan to eliminate Aces and Eights. Wouldn't it be a better plan to just say if they win, the entire Aces and Eights have to leave TNA, or at least disband?

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  3. AJ-Aries was different and amazing, as you said, even with one of the worst finishes imaginable.
    The Tito reveal was exactly what I feared. He got ZERO reaction at Bellator last night and somehow managed even worse tonight.

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  4. Clearly Tito is going to screw over Rampage and thus cost him his TNA career.

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  5. TNA probably means that once you lose a match you get released.

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  6. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 1, 2013 at 10:47 PM

    Well, they're not completely wrong; after the show is over, EVERYONE leaves town

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  7. "Loser leaves town" is very plausible for TNA these days.

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  8. Manik is Kinam spelled backwards.

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  9. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 1, 2013 at 10:56 PM

    Waldorf: "Well that was a terrible finish!"


    Statler: "Who cares, they finished, we can go home!"


    DOHOHOHOHOHO!

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  10. I know you were saying that much of the arena seemed blacked out, but that doesn't vibe with ticket sales as far as I could tell. I thought about going since it would only add a couple of hours of driving to my vacation. When I looked at buying a ticket this afternoon, only the super-cheap seats and the most expensive seats had tickets left. The intermediate price points were completely sold out.

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  11. Well it was a longer run than expected, just about a year of competence before it all fell apart again. Poor TNA...peaked in 2006, circling the drain ever since.

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  12. I'd believe it from this company. In fact if whoever they're trying to book in this match is probably VERY NERVOUS.

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  13. TheRealCitizenSnipsAugust 1, 2013 at 11:35 PM

    Fucking Tito Ortiz would be a pretty big surprise.

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  14. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 1, 2013 at 11:44 PM

    'It better not be fucking Tito Ortiz.'


    youre gonna have a bad time

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  15. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 1, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    can we get dixie in the match somehow?

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  16. I'm thinking Aces and Eights and MEM have a shoot finish where they all lay down with one arm on each other, everyone gets pinned, everyone loses, everyone gets out of TNA.

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  17. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 1, 2013 at 11:57 PM

    it should be the team of the boy who does not win gets fired

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  18. AJ hits an offensive move and then gets pinned? ZUH?

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  19. The Tito thing just continues to reiterate my problem with TNA. They show a complete lack of faith in their own talent. They've brought in everyone from Christian to Hogan to make them seem bigger and now they are using their "big announcements" to bring in less than part-time MMA guys. Kind of seems like they are reminding us that TNA is bush league.

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  20. i don't know if anyone takes AJ seriously these days. He's about as over as Jay Bradley

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  21. Leading to a technicality where Rampage returns and we get TITO VS RAMPAGE. Money money money. Yay

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  22. Kurt's gonna shoot pin himself so he can get his part-time WWE job and legends contract afterwards.

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  23. For you or Tito?

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  24. "it better not be fucking Tito Ortiz." And that is all. And is why I've read him since the late '90s...haha....

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  25. Caliber_Winfield_The_3rdAugust 2, 2013 at 3:34 AM

    Pizza when you're suppose to french fry? You're gonna have a bad time.

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  26. Caliber_Winfield_The_3rdAugust 2, 2013 at 3:35 AM

    Who the fuck downvoted this? Is Ned Flanders real or something?

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  27. Caliber_Winfield_The_3rdAugust 2, 2013 at 3:44 AM

    Is Tito Ortiz not a big deal? I don't follow MMA whatsoever. So, as far as I'm concerned, on every MMA PPV 4 people fight. Chuck Lidel, Randy Corture, Mr. T, and Tito Ortiz. Is this not true? Oh, and Ken Shamrock. Is he still the most dangerous man on Earth? What about Pete? Is he the UFC champion yet? Are kids arguing over who would win between him and Superman?

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  28. Tito Ortiz was a huge deal. He, along with Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture CARRIED the UFC in the early 2000's and helped make it what it is today. Now, older and past his prime but a good signing for Bellator based on name value.

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  29. They should have ponied up the cash for Sugar Ray Leonard.

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  30. Not that I am complaining but it's too bad that the Aries / Styles match was wasted on Spike indtead of having a build up to it on ppv. That match was awesome. The Tito Ortiz surprise...I think that is being forced upon them by Spike TV so I think they are in a tough spot.

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  31. Assuming the young people know who Sugar Ray Leonard is?

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  32. #AskDixie

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  33. You're right. Better off springing for George Foreman instead.

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  34. You have suspend your disbelief for the sake of the story that they're telling.

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  35. Would you rather they brought out Jenna Jameson????????

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  36. We're gonna have to get rid of Morgan Clark first

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  37. Llol. Well done sir. :: Standing Ovation ::

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  38. Not to mention Tito has been there before... so it isn't like they signed something different... like if The Rock showed up or some shit.

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  39. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonAugust 2, 2013 at 6:12 AM

    Random kid: "Hey, that guy named after the thing grandma makes our grilled cheese sammiches on!!"

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  40. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonAugust 2, 2013 at 6:13 AM

    Once you realize who his wife is I'd suggest consulting a doctor.

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  41. Gotta feel bad for tna here. MMA is undeniably in rapid decline and they got saddled with trying to get over a whole other company. I guess that's the price you gotta pay.

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  42. I forget who, but someone in another thread called it. As soon as he predicted it, I said "oh, shit...."


    Bellator absolutely has a place in MMA; it's discovering young talent and working with guys who get cut from the UFC. The UFC cannot possibly employ every fighter. Trying to compete with them on an equal level is just going to get them killed the way Elite XC, WAMMA, Affliction, and Strikeforce were all killed.


    The only organization that ever had a chance to beat the UFC was Pride, but Pride had two things against them: they were too involved with the Yakuza, and they were too willing to have completely uneven freak-show fights.

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  43. Given that it means leaving the promotion, I would assume the match will be both guys laying down, trying to hold the other on top so they can get out and go to the WWE.

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  44. That would be a unique stip. The guy who gets the three count is the LOSER.

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  45. Bellator is the WCW of MMA.

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  46. So Aces & 0.8s vs the Main Event Mafia is really just the next season of The Ultimate Fighter?

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  47. In Bellator though.

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  48. No, MMA is not in "rapid decline". It's just that only the UFC can actually promote a card properly and do well.

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  49. In the team's wife's best Sunday dress.

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  50. I DVR'd it last night for the first time in a while because I really wanted to see the Aries/Styles match. I wouldn't say it was a shit finish, just really clunky in execution.

    HOWEVER, as Scott noted righted at the top: That was a S-H-I-T arena and crowd. It had all the sounds of a local VFW. Fans were quiet, awkward, unaware...just a black whole for entertainment. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking, "How the fuck could you spend $600,000 to tape in a fucking rat trap like this?"

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  51. See, I don't really mind the MMA cross-promotion with TNA. It's something different and although it'll most likely fail, at least TNA is TRYING something unique that WWE hasn't done.

    The need to stop hiring WWE re-treads like Ken Anderson and D'Lo Brown who had nothing to the product (especially when TNA's most entertaining performers are the homegrown talent), get rid of Hogan and Bischoff, stop the annual main-event push of Sting over everyone else, emphasize the X-division more because it's exciting to see, keep investing in a strong tag division, etc.

    The frustrating thing is that TNA does some good things and makes progress...but then they shoot themselves in the foot with stuff like the Hogan and the main-event push of D-Von Dudley. It's like one step forward, three steps back.

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  52. If Silva vs. Weidman II outdraws Wrestlemania on PPV, is MMA still in decline?

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  53. Of course it is. One has nothing to do with the other.

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  54. Yeah, UFC really has a hug buzz going these days. LOL!

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  55. How so? Bellator worked their way up to being a big promotion. It is now that they are acquiring big names for their promotion. Why can't they hire Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz for name value?

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  56. I still say the most interesting MMA type guy available for the pro wrestling world is Kimbo Slice. I understand he sucked at pro level MMA, but the dude is the type of outrageous character that would work in the wrestling world. When I saw Tito all I could think of was Jenna Jameson. Kimbo is who they SHOULD HAVE gotten.

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  57. GSP v. Diaz did 950,000 buys. That's quite the decline.

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  58. They're already scheduled to fight in the main event of Bellator's first PPV in November, which is why Tito is there in the first place. So yes, that's actually their plan, mind-boggling as it is.

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  59. I commend you on your correct grammar.

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  60. Hogan and Sting are the most over babyfaces in the company.

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  61. Hardy might have something to say.

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  62. It would be in keeping with their overpushing of stars from the 90s.

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  63. If Tito doing this makes Rampage go away, all is well. I smell Spike all over this decision, and Dave Lagana punching a wall.

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  64. And the worst part is they had to use that crowd for NEXT WEEK'S taping after this 'live' one.

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  65. I don't really agree about the UFC/Bellator thing. If you ask the casual MMA fan where do they know Rampage or Tito from, they'd say UFC. I didn't even know Tito wasn't still under contract with the UFC. Also, Bellator — at least to my knowledge — was never mentioned by name with either guy last night, especially Tito.

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  66. I don't understand the point of not advertising Tito? I could be wrong, but did these vignettes even appear on Impact last week? For anyone who doesn't check out blogs or TNA.com, they had no idea there was even a mystery guy coming at all.


    A couple weeks back when Rampage made his debut, I remember people on here were at least semi-interested in watching the show to see what happens. I think they dropped the ball with absolutely no build up or hype surrounding a guy they obviously believe could move ratings.

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  67. From 1.6 million? It sure is.

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  68. You're in for a grilling, you know that

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  69. Sabin Vs Manik was very good too.

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  70. If Ortiz keeps Spike happy, he's worth it.


    And Aries/Styles can easily have a PPV match down the road with the way it ended.

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  71. Dammit I did this joke when he got the name and got no upvotes.

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  72. Well if Sting jumps to WWE it might be their way to write him off. If not, I could see them legit firing any of the Ace's turds.


    My dream: Bischoff and his dad are on the way out.

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  73. Threadjack :

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mrctheamazing/28-signs-youre-a-pro-wrestling-fan-ap6l?fb_action_ids=603042556402905&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%22603042556402905%22%3A681583581855122%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22603042556402905%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map



    21/28 here.

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  74. i dont follow MMA either but I know those 4 havent been relevant in years.

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  75. Up until right before the plug was pulled on PRIDE they were ahead of the UFC in competition level, entertainment value, production value, basically across the board. If PRIDE hadn't had their scandals and drama with their TV deal where they were forced to try to branch out to America they never would have relinquished their top spot.

    The freakshow stuff was what Japan wanted; PRIDE was never more than a (mostly) legitimate offshoot of pro wrestling and everyone was OK with it. The #1 star of the promotion was never Fedor or Wanderlei or Nog or Crocop or even Gomi. It was always Sakuraba.

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  76. UFC still draws, but the other companies have shot up and flamed out.

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  77. There's always only been 1 MMA company and a bunch of minor league promotions. The difference is that the minor league always knew their place in the past. The only period where you could argue there were two "major" MMA operations doing business at the same time was between mid 2005 (when UFC got a shot in the arm from TUF) and early 2007 before PRIDE kicked the bucket.


    Strikeforce, Affliction, Bodog, EliteXC, etc all could have existed for long periods of time as minor league promotions (especially Strikeforce; they had been making money as a small org for decades) but they made bad deals with big name fighters and crashed and burned.


    You can trace 3 of those orgs declines to one guy. Fedor. The other orgs bet their promotion on "the one guy who the UFC couldn't get", spent too much money and it killed them.

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  78. Rapid decline? UFC already outdrew Wrestlemania once this year (remember the 1.05 million buys is both domestic and international, while UFC just sells PPVs domestic)

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  79. Anderson Silva's loss got major play on all major sports networks and was front page on ESPN.com for days after it happened. Ronda Rousey has gone past "wow she's everywhere" and is getting real close to "Jesus Christ she won't go away" and the season of TUF she's coaching hasn't even started yet. Fox's new network (Fox 1 or whatever they're calling it) is using UFC content as one of the prime pillars of their network. 2013 will unquestionably be a better PPV year for UFC than 2012 was. Also UFC has a super busy month coming up with 4 events (3 of which will probably be good) in the month of August.


    Can't tell if you're trolling or just supremely ignorant. Then again I never can.

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  80. Scott, you got a four star match and a couple other good matches on FREE TV. Sure, the Tito Ortiz thing was a letdown but from a business standpoint it made sense. Try to be a little bit more optimistic with these reviews. It was a much better show than RAW.

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  81. She's scary looking

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  82. You're just a dipshit, dude. If UFC doesn't have any kind of buzz around it to you, then you must live in a world without Ronda Rousey, Chris Weidman, etc. It's not our fault you're undereducated.

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  83. See, here's where the "smarks" are wrong.


    They'd rather have Davey Richards or some Indy darling that no one knows about instead of a guy that has brought in millions of PPV buys in Tito Ortiz.

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  84. TNA has always been about surprises instead of building up something so they could make money or draw ratings or do anything constructive...

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  85. I'm sorry the real world upsets you.

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  86. PRIDE was in serious decline by the end. They lost quite a few of their top stars, their attempt to do a show in the US bombed, and the UFC hit it big with the success of TUF.

    Pride was so desperate by the end they were trying to get Mike Tyson a fight. In 2006.

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  87. Bellator is pretty terrible honestly. If they were really elite, they wouldn't sign guys so far past their primes. And they wouldn't have a crooked jackass like Bjorn Rebney running the ship.

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  88. Apparently you don't understand what the word decline means. 1.6 million to 950k? That's a rapid decline.

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  89. I can't see this being all that great a show. One decent match and everything else super-average, with everything else coming off like placeholders or death throes.

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  90. You're using main stream news mocking them for a guy throwing a fight to say that they're not in decline? Hilarious.

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  91. I think I am at 24-26. That was actually a really awesome and well thought article.

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  92. Aries vs. Styles outside of the finish + going over the "time limit" was ****1/2 for me. Manik vs. Sabin was great and helped establish Manik even more. The Sabin/Bully hype was good. ODB vs. Gail Kim was a neat physical match. The other stuff was very meh, but still better than RAW. RAW makes me feel like an idiot when I'm watching. TNA feels much more like a Pro Wrestling show than anything WWE does. I feel like I'm watching entertainment more than wrestling with WWE and that is something I do not like.

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  93. Uh, what business standpoint did it make sense from exactly?

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  94. Are they expecting to get royalty fees from Bellator for helping with the build to their fight or something?

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  95. Do you see Shelton Benjamin, John Morrison, Davey Richards,or Adam Pearce drawing MORE viewers than Ortiz? Sorry, but even with Ortiz sucking in MMA for the past five years plus the way he left the UFC, I still see him drawing many more viewers than any of those.


    Plus, Ortiz will cost Rampage his "wrestling" career at Hardcore Justice and then we won't see the two again until their MMA fight.


    Didn't Heyman once say that if he was in control of TNA that he was going to make it more "MMA" based?

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  96. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    its like zanadude once said, ive got 'fans' who are showing their love for me by downvoting everything i do

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  97. You're building a straw man with that argument. I never said anything about the people you listed, I said Tito Ortiz was a terrible reveal as a mystery man.

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  98. Why watch RAW then?

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  99. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    lol @ these reactions:

    http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/292820/Matt-Hardy,-Tommy-Dreamer,-Lance-Storm-and-More-Comment-on-Tito-Ortizs-TNA-Return.htm

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  100. Dixie Carter should just bend over and let Vince take her up the ass already. Then he can finish on her face as he's putting the finishing touches to Kurt Angle's new contract

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  101. I agree with you. Ortiz is /was a draw. Why else would Dana White put up with the drama if he wasn't throughout the years.

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  102. I can agree with that, but I don't know if there is an available talent out there that would make everyone truly shocked.

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  103. I think what's Scott's getting at (if I may) is that if you don't have a satisfactory mystery man, don't run a mystery man angle.

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  104. Does this mean Kurt Angle's MMA career has been revitalized?

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  105. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    '23. Any debate over who the strongest man in the world is has to include Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg or Mark Henry.'


    pretty sure billy boy doesnt belong in there

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  106. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    'Hardy might have something to say.'

    he killed your baby today?
    and it doesnt mean much to him, as long as its dead?

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  107. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    *starlet

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  108. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    FREE HAT!

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  109. 2006 was the transition year. As Sakuraba started fading and the ratings slipped they tried to cash out on their success by reaching out to the US since they saw the writing on the wall as far as reduced money in Asia went. It didn't go well. Still for the beginning of 2006 they were still doing better business and had the better talent. Crocop leaving in late 2006 was the moment where UFC started trying to turn the tide but that was symbolic more than anything else; PRIDE still had the better roster in all divisions they carried except possibly 205.



    And for Sakuraba: He wasn't just a star, he was THE star of PRIDE. The drawing power and ratings of their organization basically mirror his career arc exactly. They overpushed him and probably literally killed him with how much punishment they let him take in mismatches over the years.


    PRIDE pushed their org like a wrestling business. Wins and losses were somewhat important but they mostly pushed guys on their own whims and on what the crowd thought they wanted. Fedor was the best fighter the world had ever seen and had exciting fights but he was never more than the 3rd or 4th star. They propped up Gomi's title reign by having frequent non title fights and letting him weigh in at whatever he wanted (Gomiweight being a running gag for awhile).

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  110. Scream09_HartKillerAugust 2, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    MMA based doesn't necessarily mean using a wrestling show to build up a MMA fight between two MMA fighters.

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  111. Who is his wife?

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  112. Teacher:All right kids,what you can learn from Tito as the mistery man?

    Student:The human inteligence has its limits,but stupidity don't.

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  113. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    i have images of when jazz threw himself out of the banks home on fresh prince

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  114. On the bright side, at least the mystery man wasn't Bob Holly.

    After all, this is the same company that hyped up Tommy Dreamer as a big surprise so it wouldn't have been a stretch at all for TNA to have come up with an even lamer reveal than what we got last night.

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  115. You're a good troll.

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  116. What colour is the sky in your world?

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  117. I expect Pamela Anderson to be the new TNA Women's Champ.

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  118. The best Tito is Santana.

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  119. I think a motivated John Morrison could have been pretty cool, actually. With his athleticism and a strong push as a top heel, I think it could work. John could have good matches with TNA's best performers and he was pretty well-liked by fans in WWE.

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  120. Man, that teacher doesn't even know how to spell "mystery"?

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  121. He was great in "Warrior"!

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  122. I don't know man, all I see is my keyboard and computer screen. How is it under your bridge?

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  123. And apparently you don't understand that the UFC draw based on fights. The bigger the fight on ppvs, the more buys they get.

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  124. Hogan's also brought in millions of PPV busy...A long ass time ago.

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  125. You're trying to say that 95k isn't less than 1.6 million?

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  126. *Tito Jackson runs from room in tears*

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  127. UFC's fanbase isn't getting "smaller", it's becoming "more exclusive"

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  128. Yes, but I came up with the Mystery Man Theory which states "The longer and more intense the promotion of a mystery man is, the greater the payoff must be to satisfy."


    The August Warning was promoted for less than a week on the internet, therefore, the payoff didn't have to be big.

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  129. Here is my pulled out of ass theory as to what Dixie is trying to do. Dixie is a college bred marketing person who is all about synergy and other bullshit buzzwords. She is building relationships with Spike and Bellatour by cross promoting with them. This is not the worst thing, especially in trying to work with Spike. If Spike and Panda are keeping TNA alive, it is best to try and schmooze both as much as possible.


    On the PPV front, I think that she realized that TNA was not making enough money with the 12 month PPV model. She's going for short term losses in order to try and put better matches and angles on Impact to hopefully get the ratings up, which in turn makes Spike happier.

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  130. That ending was the most awkward moment since Shockmaster's debut. It may have been even worse since it didn't have the comedic aspect to it.


    Just Tito standing there with his arms crossed and that weird theme music while the other guys just stand there with weird looks on their faces.


    I can't defend TNA anymore. That. was. atrocious.

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  131. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 2:29 PM

    tito puente slowly beats his drums in sadness

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  132. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 2, 2013 at 2:29 PM

    the student's no shining light, either.


    *doesn't

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  133. He was a guest ref for them a couple of times in 2005. So I guess that makes him their Mike Tyson?

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  134. See, this is why positivity is so rare on the board.


    Give a compliment, get Elvy-positives.

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  135. The never before (and never again) seen Quintuple Double Pin of Sheer Ecstacy!

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  136. Until someone speaks up, unexplained down votes for legit attempts at TNA Humor are "Elvy-positives".


    Just treat them as a normal up-vote.


    (There's no need for a WWE equivalent. Yet.)

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  137. I hate Goldberg, but when he Jackhammered The Giant it was the most impressive feat of strength I've ever seen from a wrestler. The suplex position is an awkward one to lift and it takes a lot to push.

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  138. Yeah and? WCW could hire big names for their promotion too. Bellator will be the destination for everyone ditching Dana.

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  139. You're comparing their top show of all time at the height of their popularity against what will probably be their 2nd most purchased show this year.


    WWF/E drew 1 million domestic buys for WM 17 (height of their popularity), while WM 28 was 750K domestic buys... while most of their B-level PPVs do about half of what they used to do, but their business is not in rapid decline.

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  140. Dropping 25% in 11 years is not rapid decline. 40% in 4 years? Rapid decline.

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  141. I'm sorry your sport is dying.

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  142. WM 19 buys were 550K... so that's a 45% drop in 2 years. You can twist statistics any way that you want to interpret them.

    Check out the list: http://mmapayout.com/blue-book/pay-per-view/

    The PPV before UFC 100 did 350K buys, as did the one two PPVs after it. You make it sound like they were doing 1.6 million routinely and then the bottom fell out. It would be like making the argument that WWE is in rapid decline when the PPV after Wrestlemania does only 20% of the buys that Mania does.

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  143. They haven't even broken a million in 3 years? Yikes. That's worse than I thought.

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  144. I think its clear what is going on here...

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  145. Other than Michael, Janet, Jermaine, Randy, and LaToya, Tito was the best Jackson of them all!

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  146. What was the last good mystery man angle? Taker's debut? Rick Rude in ECW, maybe?

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  147. Well, first off, the UFC runs more events than ever and thus the average show isn't doing as well... I imagine that'd be quite obvious. Second, yes, in North America the UFC, and MMA in general, is in decline - but in other places it's growing, most notably in Brazil, where the UFC is on fucking FIRE right now.

    I don't see why wrestling fans feel the need to try and bash MMA, or to make it seem like they are in peril. They aren't - and neither is pro wrestling or the WWE specifically. Can't everyone just get along?

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  148. On second thought, I wouldn't even call it 'decline', per say; more like stagnant.

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  149. Good question! I actually really want to know... hmmm...

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  150. I have an idea for an angle that could potentially skyrocket TNA (or WWE's, for that matter, but we'll use TNA in this case) ratings.

    A sinkhole opens up back stage and a wrestler falls in. In order to show that they care about him, the wrestlers throw down things that mean a lot to them - wedding rings, title belts, whatever - and it's all very emotional. He's not dead, mind you, he's just stuck down there. Yes, they could throw down a ladder or whatever, but gosh damnit, SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF!

    Now, AJ Styles loses one of those no-title-shot-in-a-year deals. Annoyed by this, he hatches a devious plan ala Scar in the Lion King. He runs up to Dixie crying and saying he's just so worried about so-and-so down there all alone, "will you please come with me to check on him? I can't BEAR to do it alone! What if he's..."...

    So Dixie comes along. AJ looks down and says "Oh no, I can't see him! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHERE IS HE?" As he starts becoming a blubbering wreck. As Dixie assures him so-and-so is fine, she peers in and... suddenly, Chris Sabin, from out of nowhere, pushes her in! AJ laughs in glee at his plan being carried out, and then Sabin shoves HIM in!

    Later, all the items that the wrestlers have been throwing down in so-and-so's honor start reappearing... exactly where they were before they went to throw them down!

    In a big title match between RVD and Bully Ray, a masked luchador runs to the ring holding the very ECW title belt RVD threw down and hurricanranas Bully Ray when the ref is down, after Bully hits RVD with his chair!

    RVD gets up, and WHAMMO, chair to the head by the masked man!

    Or is it a man...?

    No, it isn't!

    It's...

    ...a MONKEY!

    AJ Styles music hits, and he reveals it was his plan all along! Dixie falling in the whole, Sabin shoving HIM down the hole, the steel chair, the monkey... it all falls into place!

    But Dixie climbs out of the hole and challenges AJ to a title match - at Bound for Glory! But only if AJ can defeat Samoa Joe in a "Lover and Leave Her" match!

    ...I'd tell you what happens next, but it's booking 101 and I suppose it's obvious.

    Cheers!

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  151. (Vince announcer voice)"123IfinishednoIdidn't!"

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