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The SmarK Rant for WWE Summerslam 2013

The SmarK Rant for WWE Summerslam 2013

My first Summerslam rant in a lot of years. It’s historic!

So adventures in cutting the cable, week two. Hulu Plus is AWESOME, well worth all the headache of routing through a VPN and faking US addresses and such to access in Canada. I’ve got the PS3 set up for Canadian streaming on Netflix so I can get UFC and Spongebob, and the Xbox for US streaming with Hulu and Netflix US, so that pretty much covers everything but CBS shows. However, that’s what antennas are for, even though here in Saskatoon we literally only get two channels over the air, here in 2013. So far so good otherwise.

By the way, I got a bluetooth keyboard for my iPad, but I don’t speak Apple and can’t figure out for the life of me how I’m supposed to do bold and italics, as the Windows shortcuts don’t seem to translate.  Am I missing something obvious here? 

Live from Los Angeles, CA

Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler

Ring Of Fire Match: Kane v. Bray Wyatt

So unlike an Inferno match, the ring of fire in the title is only there to keep the Wyatt Family away from the ring, which pretty much guarantees that it won’t. Kane pounds on him to start, but Wyatt gets a cheapshot to take over, before Kane suplexes him to cause a flare-up. That’s quite the suplex. Kane misses a charge and Wyatt puts him down with a bodyblock, which earns him a flare as well. At least the fire isn’t partisan. Nothing worse than a supernatural force that plays favorites. Kane boots him down and follows with a corner clothesline and the chokeslam. The family tries to extinguish the flames and help, but apparently they’re not familiar with how a gas-based flame works. Kane chokeslams Wyatt a few times, but this time a blanket gets tossed on the fire to smother it, allowing the inevitable run-in and beatdown. The crowd is pretty sure Undertaker is gonna make the save, but no one does, and Wyatt finishes with the downward spiral at 7:48. I really hate stipulation matches where the finish is based on someone defeating the entire purpose of the stipulation. In fact, I’m currently writing a top 10 list of Finishes That Make Me Want To Punch Vince Russo In The Face. This sort of thing will definitely be on there. *1/2

Damien Sandow v. Cody Rhodes

Cody slugs away and gets a backdrop out of the corner, and a front suplex for two. Tellingly, the crowd seems to be more on Sandow’s side here, probably because Cody has been booked like such a dick since his “face turn”. Sandow takes over with a suplex for two and counters out of Crossroads, which sets up the ELBOW OF DISDAIN. By the way, Google Translate says that should be “cubito fastidio”, so I hope someone got fired over THAT blunder. Sandow goes up and Cody brings him down with a slam for two. Cody makes the comeback with a springboard dropkick, but the disaster kick misses and Sandow hits a neckbreaker for two. Sandow with a sunset flip that Cody blocks for two, and the disaster kick gets two. Blind charge misses and Sandow gets a rollup for two. Cody finishes with the Crossroads at 6:40. Felt like it would have been better suited to a TV match, but it was fun and fast-paced. ***

World title: Alberto Del Rio v. Christian

Christian dumps him and we get the chase, but Christian gets the advantage off that before going up and taking an enzuigiri. Del Rio goes to work on the arm, but misses the charge and hits the floor. Back in, Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for two and a high cross for two, but the arm is still injured. Del Rio tries a suplex, blocked by Christian, but a backstabber gets two. He goes for the armbar, but Christian cradles for two. Del Rio hits him with an enzuigiri for two, but misses a senton and Christian gets a flying elbow. They fight to the top and Del Rio blocks a sunset flip, but Christian keeps coming with a rana for two. Del Rio blocks the spear with a dropkick for two. Great timing there. Del Rio goes for the armbar again, but Christian reverses out, and Del Rio superkicks him for two. Another try is reversed by Christian for two, and he follows with a spear out of nowhere. The arm is injured, though, and Del Rio gets the armbar. Christian fights like crazy, but taps at 12:29. They had a hell of a match on Smackdown two weeks ago and this was another great one, albeit a bit more abbreviated, but much faster paced. ***1/2

Natalya v. Brie Bella

Welcome to your weekly commercial for Total Divas. But I guess it’s working, so what do I know? They exchange slaps and Brie bails to the floor, allowing Nattie to get suckered out there for a cheapshot from Nikki and the other chick. Brie takes over while the crowd ignores the match and chants whatever dumb stuff comes to mind. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter, but Brie escapes for some reason and it’s the Battle of the E! Network Stars on the floor. Brie with a sunset flip for two and a knee on the ropes as this is way, way, way too long. Nattie mercifully finishes with the Sharpshooter at 5:18. ½*

Brock Lesnar v. CM Punk

Slugfest to start and Brock overpowers him, as we FINALLY get someone doing the David v. Goliath story against Brock. Brock throws him around the ring like a child and chokes away in the corner, but Punk throws knees and puts him on the floor. He follows with a suicide dive, but Brock just runs into him. Punk runs him into the post and follows with a double axehandle to the floor, and a clothesline off the announce table. Sadly, he decides to go after Heyman, and Brock clobbers him from behind and then biels him into the table. Now this is how you use Lesnar! They should pay Jeff Hardy a million dollars so Brock can throw him around the arena like a ragdoll and toss him off a stage or something. Brock with an overhead suplex on the floor, but Punk is still fighting in the ring. Brock casually swats him down again and goes to the bearhug, but Punk elbows out of it before running into a knee. Back to the bearhug and some QUALITY trash talk from Brock (“You’re my punk bitch now!”) , but Punk fights back with kicks again and goes up, only to get caught in a fallaway slam. Brock is more amused than troubled by this momentary setback. Backbreaker into a powerslam gets two. Back to the bearhug, but Punk bites the ear to escape and puts him down with a knee. The running knee hits twice, but a third one is caught, so Punk hits the high kick instead. Macho Elbow gets two. GTS is easily countered by Brock, so Punk hits him with ANOTHER high kick. GTS is caught in a kimura and the crowd is freaking the fuck out, rightly so. So Punk turns it into an armbar, and then a triangle choke, and then Brock just powerbombs the shit out of him. Punk won’t let go, however, and Brock threatens to tap, but then MANS UP and tries another powerbomb. So Punk keeps beating on him with elbows, and Brock takes them all and powerbombs him anyway, because FUCK YOU CM PUNK, YOU WILL BE POWERBOMBED. Brock Lesnar is a real man. Brock with rolling vertical suplexes just to spit on Eddie Guerrero’s grave, because FUCK YOU EDDIE GUERRERO, TOO. How can you not love this guy? Brock stops to grab a chair, but Punk keeps coming with a dive…that hits the chair. Oops. Punk, however, also mans up and fights through it, using the chair to beat on Brock because he’s good and pissed off. Back in the ring, Brock gets the chair, but Punk hits him in the nuts and insults his manhood as well. Punk to the top with the chair, and he drops a flying chair elbow for two. Subtly out the window, Punk just starts hitting him with the chair and hoping for the best, but Heyman taunts him into getting distracted again. Punk holds onto Heyman’s tie to block the F5, and hits the GTS for two, with Heyman making the save. Punk goes after Heyman one last time, and runs into the F5, but he counters THAT into a DDT for two! Anaconda Vice looks to finish, but Punk gets distracted by Heyman again, finally getting his punch to the face…and Brock just WAFFLES him with the chair. And now there’s no more comebacks, as Brock just ends him with the chair and finishes with the F5 on the chair at 25:14. This was everything I love about professional wrestling in one match, lacking only a gory bladejob by Punk. This is the match that they should have brought Brock back into the promotion with. ***** And now Brock can disappear until he returns at the Rumble to win the WWE title, I’d bet. CM Punk looks like the biggest babyface who ever babyfaced coming out of this. Note to HHH: This is how you book someone against Lesnar.

Big E Langston & AJ Lee v. Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn

This would be the very definition of a PPV death slot. In fact I’m shocked they didn’t stick that shitty Divas match here instead. Big E pounds on Dolph with an abdominal stretch, but it’s over to the ladies. Kaitlyn with a backbreaker, but AJ spinkicks her for two. Question: What was the point of Stephanie’s verbal abuse of these two that week? It never led to anything and was never mentioned again. AJ with a back elbow for two and a sleeper, apropos for this match. Back to Dolph and Langston, as Dolph drops the elbows, but E gets a knee to the back for two. Kaitlyn and AJ brawl on the floor and Big E lays out Dolph for two. Zig Zag finishes at 6:37. First PPV win for Dolph in a LONG time. Match was pretty boring. **

WWE title: John Cena v. Daniel Bryan

They trade wristlocks to start and Bryan takes him down by the bad arm, so they do a test of strength and Cena decides to disprove the crowd’s claims about his lack of wrestling ability. Bryan wins that battle with a monkey flip and goes for the arm, so Cena bails to regroup. Back in, they work off a headlock and Bryan gets a backslide for two. Bryan takes him down and into the surfboard, but Cena powers out and shoulderblocks him off the apron and into the table. Nice bit of subtle heel business there. They fight on the floor, and Cena suplexes him off the stairs. Crowd: “You still suck”. Ouch. Back in, that gets two. Cena slugs away and whips him into the corner, then follows with a sitout powerbomb for two. Bryan slugs back and throws kicks in the corner, but Cena catches him with a knee, so Bryan gets a clothesline and fires away with the kicks. Cena comes back with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM and the crowd explodes with hatred, but Bryan kicks him in the face on the five-knuckle shuffle. Another try hits, but Bryan escapes the FU and goes up with the missile dropkick for two. Cena is still down, so Bryan starts kicking the hell out of the bad arm and then applies an STF to hopefully teach him how to do it. Cena powers out, so Bryan suplexes him for two. German suplex gets two. Yes-Lock follows, and Cena powers out of that as well, so Bryan hooks him in a guillotine next. Cena powers out of that as well, as that seems to be the story of the match, with Cena using what limited skillset he possesses to fight off Bryan. Cena with an FU out of nowhere for two, and he goes up, but Bryan keeps coming with strikes and a superplex. Bryan stays on top and follows with the flying headbutt, which gets two. Cena bails again, but this time draws him in for a forearm to block a dive. Back in, Cena with the flying legdrop for two. To the top, but Bryan fights him off with elbows and tries a rana, countered by Cena into the STF. Again, Cena goes to sheer brute force to counter Bryan. That’s a solid storyline. Bryan rolls out, so Cena turns it into a rear naked choke, and Bryan turns that into the Yes-Lock. Cena makes the ropes, so Bryan starts throwing dropkicks in the corner, before running into a massive lariat. JBL is all about that one, of course. They slug it out to build to the epic finale, and both guys are out. The slug it out again and Bryan goes nuts on him, but Cena catches him for the FU, which Bryan turns into a DDT. To the top, but Cena catches him with another FU, which Bryan reverses into the SMALL PACKAGE OF DEATH for two. Bryan kicks him down again and finishes with a shining wizard to win the WWE title at 26:52. Finish was a bit out of nowhere (the small package really should have ended it, but I think they messed it up a bit and called an audible) but this was tremendous, high-level stuff that saw Bryan go over John Cena clean as a sheet to get made as a tippy top guy forever. I didn’t have the same emotional connection that I did to Brock-Punk, however, so I gotta go a bit lower. ****3/4 But then in the midst of Bryan’s long-earned celebration, Randy Orton comes out to cash in…and special referee HHH (who had figured so little into the match that I didn’t even need to mention him before now) turns on Bryan with a Pedigree. Orton pins Bryan to rip the hearts out of everyone and win his millionth title. Told you so. Here’s the thing though, guys: The title isn’t the title, John Cena is the title. Bryan remains a star, Orton gets his heel turn, revenge can be had later on.

The Pulse

Best Summerslam ever? All evidence points to “YES!”

Thumbs way up.

Comments

  1. command + B is bold.
    command + I is italics.


    command is on either side of the spacebar.

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  2. You coulda added a 1/4th star to the Bryan/Cena match for the slap fight.. Don't short change it... FIVE STARS!

    I also liked Punk/Brock more though. Great show.

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  3. I think it's fine. I think 5 stars should be saved for real moments. And while Cena/Bryan was good, I don't think it was as good of a wrestling match as Bryan/Punk or as good of a moment as Punk/Cena.

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  4. Doesn't work in Gmail or the regular Mail app. In the native Mail program on the iPad, I can select all and then there's a little right arrow next to cut/copy/paste that has the formatting options, but I was hoping for something universal so I could edit forwarded e-mails in Gmail so that they don't look shitty on the blog.

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  5. If someone wants to argue for Cena-Bryan I'm certainly not going to stand in the way of anyone giving it the full monty. I just liked Punk-Brock a lot more, and that to me says that Cena-Bryan wasn't a ***** match. Your mileage may vary.

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  6. I had a feeling Scott was going to go the full Monty on Brock-Punk. And on second viewing I can't disagree. It was tremendous emotional roller coaster of a brawl that got Brock back on track and made Punk look like a hero in defeat.

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  7. I'd hoped that Scott would be the voice of reason on Cena-Bryan, but to no avail. Sorry guys, but that match was **** max, probably more like ***1/2. It's right there in the rant. The out of nowhere, too early-FU, the botched small package, the rana-counter where Cena almost broke Bryan's neck, and a half-dozen other blown spots. The psychology was typically weak for a Cena match too, with moves being hit out of nowhere, outside the context of the match. I'm not saying that makes Cena a bad person, he's clearly a tough guy for going out there, and I respect what they were able to do under the circumstances. But let's not pretend it sniffed the full monty just because Bryan finally won the big one.



    It was readily apparent in comparison to Punk-Brock, which had almost none of those flaws. It diminishes that match to say it was 1/4* better. That's saying that you can blow a ton of spots, have all over the place psychology, and cut a much slower pace for the first ten minutes and it's only worth 1/4*.

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  8. Weird. Those were the Mac commands on my MacBook, I've never tried hooking up a Bluetooth keyboard to my iPad.

    Sorry I couldn't help.

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  9. The implication is that somehow Daniel Bryan is still the John Cena Champion? I could live with that.

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  10. "half dozen other blown spots"! There were maybe two? In the whole match. And one of which probably wasn't blown, Cena "almost dropping Bryan on his head", why do we assume that was blown? Was he going to Styles Clash him? (No, no he wasn't)


    You do understand that the results of these matches do actually influence the opinions people have of them. right? By your logic, whether Cena or Bryan wins its still a *** match? Or whatever?



    Get off your high horse and go watch some ROH or Lucha or something, and don't complain about the actual wrestling quality. Grow a soul, or a heart, whichever you need to feel emtional impact when watching wrestling.

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  11. Brock/Punk was a worthless match because Brock won't work a regular schedule so who gives a shit about him winning in this match, given that he won't be bothered to show up on Raw to further the storyline? Should have kept him and Punk apart until WM as the pay-off to Punk chasing Heyman, with Heyman gathering together a new Dangerous Alliance to throw at Punk to keep him from Brock to justify Brock being a lazy shit who only does 2-3 matches a year.

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  12. We know that because dropping a guy directly on his from the second turnbuckle isn't a wrestling spot. Are you contending that it was planned? "Okay, I'm going to get you in position for a Styles Clash, awkwardly drop you, and catch you just before you break your neck." Cool spot. If you can't even take your fanboy-blinders off long enough to acknowledge that was a blown spot, we have nothing to discuss.

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  13. People bitch about the styles clash-esque counter, but that was pretty safe. Not 100% safe, which I guess is the WWE standard, but they had that all the way. It just looked brutal in full motion but Bryan took it on his hands. I think botches like the small package and DB not being able to land on his feet out of the FU.... (so far I think Shawn Michaels is the only person who's pulled that off) sometimes make matches. When you have a fight everything doesn't go 100% perfectly, there should be some awkwardness.


    I think Punk/Lesnar was the better match because I didn't know what would happen going into the match, but the other one was damn good too.

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  14. It's pissing in the river really; does Punk zero good and moreso, the fact that Brock won't fucking work the regular schedule to ensure the furtherence of the feud means they blew their wad.



    Brock/Punk should have been the end-game of the feud, after Punk fights his way through as many Heyman cronies (past and present) he can throw at Punk before Brock deems Punk worthy of his attention and agrees to be Heyman's last line of defense at WM

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  15. Bryan caught himself, so you're already wrong on that one.

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  16. Yeah, because that invalidates the point. Something about a forest and some trees might be appropriate about now?

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  17. If Bryan caught himself on his hands it wasn't a blown spot. The spot has been done before by other guys. Jericho has done that walkdown before and I think Cena may have even done it. Just because it didn't look 100% perfect doesn't make it a botch.

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  18. Given the awkwardness of it, is that more likely, or is it more likely that Bryan caught himself on his hands out of self-preservation, so as to not break his neck?



    I feel like the answer to that largely depends on whether or not you need to think it was ****+ match in order to validate your enjoyment of Bryan's win.

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  19. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 20, 2013 at 1:44 AM

    I didn't want my attending in person to cloud my judgment, so I made sure to watch the main events again today online.


    My opinion of them remains as it did at Staples: Punk/Lesnar is the WWE MOTY so far, Cena/Bryan is #2. I thought we lucked out when SS 2011 had two AWESOME main events, and this year, they were AWESOMER.

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  20. I don't think this really has anything to do with outside influences. It's the WWE style that makes things that are outside the box look "sloppy", "botchy", or "dangerous." Bryan/Cena went kind of outside the box, especially in the second half. Their product is so sanitized that a big botch is almost impossible unless one or both of the workers totally blows.

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  21. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 20, 2013 at 1:48 AM

    Yeah, there were several pinfalls that got a genuine "NO WAY!" reaction out of me. Every bit the equal of Lesnar/Cena from last year; win or lose, a match with Brock just has a presence, style, and feel unmatched by anyone on the roster. Or as Michael Caine's Alfred would say, a "FE-ROC-EE-TEE!" to the matches.

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  22. No, you should catch yourself on your hands on that spot, unless you're Rey Mysterio and you won't touch the mat anyway. If they let Jericho do that spot, I see no reason to think why someone who is infinitely stronger than him is going to botch it. It's just a little dangerous and WWE doesn't normally do dangerous.


    As for star ratings, I don't do them and haven't done them for years. What is a 5 star match anyway? If one match is the standard bearer, how can anything else be a 5 star match? And if it was eclipsed, how can the original be 5 stars? The logic is a little silly to begin with.


    It wasn't perfect, but it was a very entertaining match and they brought some things into it we don't normally get to see because WWE style is paranoid.

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  23. Victor Rodriguez JrAugust 20, 2013 at 1:58 AM

    So does no one else think the "small package" was actually a perfect-plex? Obviously still a botch cuz it didnt come off right, but im pretty sure that's what he tried to do.

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  24. Yep, it was brutal, ridiculously stiff for a WWE match and both guys held their own when it got outside their box. Punk bumped like a champ and for being a wannabe MMA guy, actually was semi believable when it broke down into a MMA style streetfight. And Brock was really good in the wrestling portions of the match. The guy is a freak and is a great wrestler, it's just a shame he's blah towards the business.


    You look at the shitty state of the WHC, and if Brock and the WWE could come to terms on say 40-45 dates a year, he could singlehandedly save that belt. Just show up, kill Del Rio dead and go on a death march until someone steps up and stops him.

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  25. Don't mention any botches here. ***** or GTFO.

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  26. It was just a botched small package. No way Cena could be pinned by that.

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  27. You should realize that Brock is supposed to be this wrecking machine that shows up, beats the hell out of people and leaves. To say that it was a worthless match is idiotic, because clearly you have a major bone to pick with Brock and his less than part-time schedule. Brock is probably only fighting Rock or Taker at Mania so Punk isn't really in the picture. The Storyline is Heyman and Punk. Brock is just Heyman's enforcer and he did his job. Now Punk has to find another way to get revenge on Heyman.

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  28. They're probably STILL going to do that. Brock is probably gone until the Rumble. They'll either



    a) Let Punk murder Heyman and have him go away for a few months until he brings Brock back and they blow it off once and for all.


    or more likely


    b) After Punk picks his teeth with Axel Heyman will recruit different guys to no avail until finally he has to bring Brock back and Punk beats him anyways.

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  29. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 20, 2013 at 2:14 AM

    Brock is so ridiculously good and physically gifted, you'd wished he was wired the way Cena or Punk is about pro wrestling. And he just has this great way of making everything feel natural, whether it's suplexing Punk out of his boots or as simple-yet-awesome as stomping Punk through a table panel.

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  30. The idea that there can't be two five star matches on the same show is absurd. Any other show, Cena-Bryan gets the full monty, so why not here? If the only justification for not giving a match five stars comes down to "I couldn't give the other match five and a half", then that's hardly a justification. I'd always assumed ratings were about the matches themselves, not the matches taken in comparison to other stuff on the card.

    Give Punk-Lesnar *****1/4 or *****+ if it helps you rationalize it, but Bryan/Cena was a five star match.

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  31. Just rewatched the Brock/Punk match and the last 10 minutes or so of Bryan/Cena. They hold up, the only thing I'd say is... damn, Cena, I can't watch your matches with headphones on. The mics picked up every call at the end of the match and even a conversation between the two leading up to the finish... lol

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  32. That wasn't a Shining Wizard, it was a Busaiku Knee Kick. A move used KENTA.

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  33. 9.75 a 2-match record for Scott?? Pretty sure one of his rants had 2 *****, but it's not hitting me at the monent.

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  34. I didn't feel like the small package was an audible. Seemed more like Bryan christening his awesome new finisher by beating John Cena clean with it!

    Both mains were great, with the correct - if expected - outcomes.

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  35. 5 star match between Bryan and Cena. It had the emotional connection, hard hitting work rate, Crowd was into it and surprise ending. What more do you need?

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  36. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 20, 2013 at 3:05 AM

    WrestleMania X had two full monties from Scott, Razor/HBK, Owen/Bret

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  37. It seems more like you need to think it wasn't 5 stars in order to enjoy it more. Sad really.

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  38. You know what's sad? Typing the adult equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?" Congrats.

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  39. Truly great matches wouldn't you agree?

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  40. I think the ending with the flying knee was supposed to mirror Japanese matches where a guy gets up from a signature move, only to be put down by a brutal, BRUTAL strike like a rolling elbow. Since most of their match had an Asian fusion flavor to it, I felt like that was the plan, other wise they would have just did a few standard back and forth improvisations before Bryan locked it in again. I mean, it's not like people are put off by repeated use of a finisher anymore, so that wouldn't have been a problem.

    I had to watch with the sound off, did the announcers say anything to set up the move like "What else can Daniel Bryan pull from his bag of tricks." ?

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  41. Bravo. I actually went back and dug up XX, but he only gave Eddie/Angle ****1/2, with the Benoit *****.


    Thanks for the homework.

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  42. I just figured Bryan winning with a running knee to the head was a tribute to William Regal, who'd used that as a finisher.

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  43. Victor Rodriguez JrAugust 20, 2013 at 3:49 AM

    I bet they can work that out somehow. Maybe if not for the. WHC but the more dates thing.

    Obv his biggest peeve was the house shows, just take them out of the occasion and i bet he could handle traveling once a week. Hell he doesn't need to be there EVERY week, just way more than now. Weeks he's not there he could be a total prick about that fact. "Im not at raw because you're all a joke" or something.

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  44. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 20, 2013 at 4:18 AM

    At the very least, at least they kept the HHH screwy stuff out of the match proper. IT was good to see Scott remark that he didn't give a second thought to HHH during the match watching at home, which is how it felt to me in the arena, and I'm glad they booked it that way and just let Bryan and Cena bring down whatever part of the house Punk/Lesnar didn't destroy already.

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  45. It wasn't a blown spot, it's the same kind of spot Y2J used to do with Rey Mysterio

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  46. Stealing KENTA's offense worked well for Punk. Why not Bryan?

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  47. Who cares if the match doesn't mean anything outside of the event, they showed up, they gave us an excellent story to watch, they took us for an emotional ride and they paid it off brilliantly. What more do you want?

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  48. The fact that some people are genuinely arguing over which match is better only speaks volumes as to the work of those 4 men. I wouldn't give Cena/Bryan 5 stars no matter how i look at it though...but it was very very good, I can understand why some people would be underwhelmed but it was very very awesome.

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  49. You know what I hate? when people assume that others are under this false sheep mindset in order to justify and belittle their opinions, but of course yours must be all above water and legit so clearly you are one of the few who isn't under the spell of "wanting it to be above 4 star"

    Seriously, the match was legit above 4 star, if you don't feel that way thats your deal, but lets not act like those of us who see it only do so because our mind is playing tricks on us.

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  50. If you have to discuss whether a spot was blown or not, then it doesn't count. A blown spot is like a film plot hole, it's supposed to stop the entertainment dead in it's tracks and supposed to break the illusion of what you are watching. The only thing close to that was the styles clash, which looked effective nontheless, I didn't even think the small package looked awkward...so blown spot or not, if you are just using your wrestling smarts to point it out rather than have it naturally screw up the match for you...then it really doesn't count, if anything it should be praised even more if they managed to cover up the spot effectively.

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  51. There is a reason why he is probably the most successful professional wrestler outside of the Rock. Since he debut in 2002 it was obvious that he was a freak of nature an absolute natural at what he does. That's why I laugh when they talked about Batista or Ryback getting the "brock" push. Brock's push worked because he was excellent at what he did, he was gifted and atheletic, he could move fast, he could make every single hit, every kick, knee, punch, every slam and chairshot look absolutely devastating, he had presence that no amount of great mic skill can replicate. What's better a wrestler who leads the crowd into chants and singalongs...or a guy who can just stand there and have people in awe.

    Him not having the motivation or heart of a professional wrestler is tragic, because having the guy full time would be a dream.

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  52. Oh, great wrestling from all men involved. But I think that as critics (which we all are) we have to decide what wrestling was more great. And for me and many others, Lesnar/Punk was better than Cena/Bryan.

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  53. Yeah. There's so many different ways this can go, but it started the right way. And though you've established Brock's physical superiority, Punk wasn't a jobber either. We know why Punk lost and so Punk needs to find a way to overcome this challenge to defeat Lesnar.


    Just great storytelling all around.

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  54. I agree with you on that, I just think it's great that for many others the opposite is true. Which to me is how things should be, as opposed to the string of decent one match cards that WWE have been putting out lately.

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  55. To be fair. KENTA is using the LeBell Lock...

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  56. It's weird because I don't feel there's any true need for Punk to go over Brock (if they can, then by all means do it) but it's clear the real beef is between Heyman and Punk. I'm kinda bummed because if they had let Axel Pilmanize Punk last night that would have put all the heat that he had lost up to this point back on Axel, but clearly that plus the bryan stuff would have been way to much a bummer of a show.

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  57. Best Summer Slam ever? Two very good matches and the rest was just there. I think 2002 or 2001 or 1992 were better.

    ReplyDelete
  58. RAW Hijack: MAN, I would have hated to see how they treated a C+


    Be a star: Beat up a B+

    ReplyDelete
  59. Between Breaking Bad's return last week and these two matches, this month seems to be the month of things living up to their hype.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Glad the cable cutting thing is going well but Tuesdays mornings just aernt the same now without Raw rants.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Trolly trolly trolly! Gideon is trolly! Man his stuff smells moldy! He's vile!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Phony condescension! A Gideon staple!

    ReplyDelete
  63. ADR/Christian was just there? You're out of your mind

    ReplyDelete
  64. I didn't know that and think it's awesome. There's nothing wrong with swiping big moves from someone else's moveset when you're not competing in the same "territory", such as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Just occured to me but wasn't the last time Triple H was heel would be back in 2006 before he reformed DX with HBK? If so that would mean he's technically been a face for 7 years which is quite scary thinking about it considering how he made his name in the business by being the ultimate heel.

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  66. I loved it. The main events were obviously great but the uncard wasnt terrible. I hate the fucking LA crowd sometimes, I know theyre all a bunch of smarts and are usually feeling what I'm feeling but their apathy kills it for the viewer at home. Smart crowds are great if theyre loud and have lots of energy, Chicago is the best example, they tend to suck when they act with such cool detachment.

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  67. I was at DB's last ROH match vs Nigel at Hammerstein Ballroom and never could have imagined the WWE would get behind him like this just a few years later

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  68. Another reason Cena-Bryan JUST misses *****:


    Almost the same style match as Punk/Brock, leaving the two easy to compare. Both were basically strong style matches... just that Punk and Brock were more "raw", not in their moves but in the feel of the match. Those two were more like a classic MMA main event, whereas Bryan/Cena was a wrestling main event with a lot of extra oomph.


    Compare to WM X, Bret/Owen was classic wrestling, and Shawn/Razor was brutality/gimmick/highspot awesomeness. Harder to compare those two directly.

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  69. To me, a botched spot is something that stalls the match or forces it to go in another direction, even if that's for a split second.


    I don't think any of that happened in this match.


    Was everything PERFECT? No. But that doesn't necessarily mean it was a full on 'botch'.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Pretty much all of this. I know it's been beaten into the ground, but Brock is exactly what you would design if you had to make a wrestler from scratch.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Love this quote: "The title isn’t the title, John Cena is the title. Bryan remains a star, Orton gets his heel turn, revenge can be had later on."

    ReplyDelete
  72. So I watched the big two matches. I know I'm late to the party, but fuck it, I'll throw my two cents into the hat (or whatever you yanks have for an expression).

    It was well worth the price of admission if you watched it live.

    Brock vs. Punk, great workmanship aside, somehow made Punk into a bigger badass. Brock is a greater talent in a WWE ring than we thought, and Punk knows quite well how to dramatize two guys fake wrestling better than anybody today. The match reinvented Punk as a top face forever, period. When WWE knows (by definition, when Vince knows) when to execute greatness and pull the trigger, HE FUCKING DOES IT.

    Is that worth watching 20+ hours of WWE programming a month? Fuck no, but I'm only analyzing the PPV.

    Daniel Bryan vs. Cena was something else, but equally important. Not only was it great, but it legitimized Bryan as a main eventer for life and the angle afterwards gained him 10x the sympathy heat he had before. That's what wrestling/sports entertainment is: hitting all the right marks at the perfect time. Maybe Scott doesn't think the match was as good as what came before it, but the match + angle was brilliant. I don't like Orton in the slightest, but I love the idea of Daniel Bryan getting his revenge on these fuckers all the more because it was done EXPERTLY.




    Now, this can only lead to a few things:

    Cena vs. Undertaker (THE drawing match of WM30)
    and
    CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship (The Best vs. The Best, face vs. face, anyone can win)

    Who Brock wrestles that matters I have no idea unless it's The Rock.




    Anyway, what the PPV offered and delivered on was fantastic. For once, the company should be truly proud of what they gave the fans. I watched the matches after I read the results, and a small part of me still had a heart attack when Triple H Pedigreed D-Bry. That tells you that the art is still alive (albeit on life support).

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  73. And is Zanadude still banned? Come on guys, that guy's cool.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Like Ziggler with the superkick back in December? That one didn't work out well.


    However, there's a .gif of the move and Cena bumps crazy for that one.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I thought cena vs Bryan was 5 stars and the punk match was 4.75, either way they both were amazing.

    Also I can't believe Scott gave that opener 1.5 stars... it really sucked

    ReplyDelete
  76. I guess I missed the news that WWE hired George R.R. Martin has the head writer.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I actually mentioned something similar a while back... I thought they could have Brock Lesnar film interviews every week via satellite from his home and refuse to show up until his monthly contractually stipulated title defense. You could run a couple months of feuds with that alone. Keep using Heyman in his role, but make the WWE champ seem "above the fray".... HELL.. we almost never got to see Hogan defend the belt on free TV for years. You had to pay to see him wrestle.

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  78. Cena/Bryan and Punk/Lesnar made this show worth every penny even if we had to sit through two divas matches, but I will say this: had Bryan simply been exhausted after beating Cena, and Orton came in and beat him fair and square in five minutes, I would have been fine with that. When they decided to shoehorn HHH/McMahon bullshit into the main storyline for the 40,000th time, however, I was livid.

    Still, Punk/Lesnar was one of the best matches I've seen in years, and Cena/Bryan was almost as good.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Id give the Inferno match around the same. I dont solely rate a match on workrate, as I think pure spectacle and entertainment also hold a value. The visual of the inferno match is always cool and for the 7 plus minutes it went I was entertained.


    Side note: I dont watch RAW, so the actual build and announcement for the match I missed, but what was the reasoning behind them not calling it an Inferno match, and the announce team at SummerSlam not even mentioning past Inferno matches or anything of the like

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  80. I have been thinking about clean (or clean-ish) jobs Cena has done since his first WWE title win at Wrestlemania 21:

    -Edge, NYR '06, post-elimination chamber cash in
    -Triple H (?), Raw just after Wrestlemania 22, handicap match (May be off a bit here)
    -Shawn Michaels, Raw before Backlash '07 in England, sweet chin music to pin
    -Wrestlemania 24, Pedigree that Orton takes by punting HHH
    -Night of Champions 2008, Pedigree
    -Summerslam 2008, Batista Bomb (Christ, Scott was right, Cena was perhaps doing too many jobs in '08)
    -Wrestlemania 26, The Rock
    -Summerslam 2013, Daniel Bryan

    Am I missing any?
    I bring these up not to compain about the lack of clean jobs Cena does, but on the contrary, say that with the exception of a brief period of perhaps too much losing, they book Cena's losses spread out enough to make them important, and effective.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Bryan needed to start getting up after the Pedigree to eat an RKO before losing the title. Would have made him look worlds better. I was shocked he didn't kick out of the pin attempt to set that up, actually.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Technically, an inferno match requires you to set your opponent aflame to win. Here, it was doing the job of lumberjacks, or a steel cage, attempting to keep Harper and Rowan out of the ring.


    No one differentiated that, but that seems to be the logical explanation, given how the match ended.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I would have preferred that too. Setting up a beat down similar to the one Rock took after Austin couldn't get the 3 count on him at WM17

    ReplyDelete
  84. I dunno, I actually liked evil steph and evil hhh on raw this week. And Bryan fighting the new corporation, with them using the shield as muscle to get to randy orton is a good story. Better than Bryan trying to win the title from a Randy Orton without backup

    ReplyDelete
  85. JBL @ Great American Bash 08


    Sheamus @ TLC 09 (Maybe the worst "clean" title change there is)

    ReplyDelete
  86. I think it's too early to tell, but this summerslam was definitely up there as one of the best for me. I still love 91 the most, but this year's is easily top five for me.

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  87. I have no complaints with the updated McMahon-Helmsley regime taking over and backing Orton, and throwing the Shield in there as muscle makes sense. They started as hired guns (allegedly) for Heyman and now they've graduated to backing the big boss. It does mean, however, that they'll be the first ones to eat some losses here. The hired muscle never wins out in these stories. Hopefully, it leads to some repackaging and different pushes for them.


    I honestly hope they run with the Bryan underdog storyline for a while. If this was 20 years ago, he would lose a rematch to Orton (through nefarious means, of course), that stipulated that he couldn't get another shot at the strap. Then, he wins the Royal Rumble and goes on to a title shot at Wrestlemania, where he finally wins the WWE title.


    Knowing WWE, though, he'll beat Randy Orton by Survivor Series, turn heel the next night on Raw, shaving his beard and aligning with Stephanie, and each of the other McMahons will back someone else for a match in a triple-threat TLC in December. Bryan's WWE Title push will be forgotten by the Royal Rumble.


    Jesus, I'm spending way too much time not working here today...

    ReplyDelete
  88. I was at summerslam 2011 also, but decided against making the six hour trek this year and I'm kicking myself after watching two of the best matches I've seen in years and knowing I could've been there in person.

    ReplyDelete
  89. It was a sloppily applied small package, which is something that could still happen if wrestling were real. I'd only consider it a blemish on the match if Cena HAD been pinned by it.

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  90. Kind of like the Rocks return?

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  91. He was banned for 24 hrs but when they went to unban him they noticed he had deleted his account.

    ReplyDelete
  92. That's still pretty subjective. I, for one, enjoy a wrestling main event more than a classic MMA main event, but I get it.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Jesse: I know you have a weird boner for stupid stories, but stories are there to set up matches. Not the other way around.

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  94. I don't think Punk/Brock was the full monty but I wouldn't argue with anybody that thought it was. It was a great, entertaining match. I'd go 4 and a half simply because iI don't think it was nearly as good as the matches that we all (for the most part) praise as 5-star matches (Bret/Austin, HBK/Razor, etc.) Still, great match and a TREMENDOUS effort by Punk.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I would pare that list down even further... maybe some of these were technically clean, but Cena had an out in many of them:


    * The Edge win I would take out because Cena had just finished defending his title in an Elimination Chamber match.
    * I have no recollection of the HHH win in 06, but if it was a handicap match, that's an out.
    * Yes, the Shawn one in London was totally clean.
    * WM 24 was clean per triple threat match standards.
    * NOC and Summerslam 2008 yes... the JBL one had some shenanigans though if I recall (pushed him through a car or something?)
    * Sheamus at TLC 09 was just a fluke going through a table.
    * WM 28 vs. Rock yes, but even with Rock they told the story that he had him beat but was trying to be cocky to do the people's elbow and got caught.


    So including SS 13 vs. Bryan, that's 5 really, totally clean jobs since becoming the man... but the Bryan one was the first of the passing-the-torch variety.

    ReplyDelete
  96. That was my only mild complaint from the match was that he should've kicked out just to give the fans one last hope spot, then Randy could've killed him dead with the RKO.


    That being said, HHH and Steph are turning all this heat they have on them from the smarks into their characters for this angle (based on many of the comments on this VERY board) and did a tremendous job in their role on Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  97. THANK YOU! You actually want this pro wrestling angle to play out properly, unlike many people here who wanted Bryan to win a 4-on-1 handicap match last night over Orton/HHH/McMahons, and then do the same thing for the next several weeks until Bryan wins the title back at NOC and holds it forever.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Yup... I think Cole said on Raw last week that no one was going to be set on fire, it was just there to keep the rest of the Wyatt clan out.

    ReplyDelete
  99. I still feel the TLC 09 loss was a botch. The way they had the tables set up around the ring, it felt like they were leading to both men falling through the tables, causing some sort of draw to extend the feud a bit, and Sheamus missed his spot.


    But it's been a while since I've seen it. Maybe I should watch it again.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Meltzer said on his podcast today that he called HHH a solid B+ in 1998, so apparently HHH NEVER FORGETS~!

    ReplyDelete
  101. I find it amusing that Cena/Brock was a top contender for WWE MOTY last year, and Punk/Brock is likely it this year... while HHH/Brock x3 was in the *** range.

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  102. Scott, I hate to nit pick but the finish wasn't a shining wizard, it was a running knee. Way better finish then the small package too. it wasn't a flunky roll up that won Bryan the match--he knocked JOHN CENA the fuck out.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I think it's perfect the way it is... as a special attraction, he's great. While I would love seeing him every month, I think getting only 3 or 4 matches a year out of him makes it an event when he is in the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  104. "So adventures in cutting the cable, week two. Hulu Plus is AWESOME, well worth all the headache of routing through a VPN and faking US addresses and such to access in Canada. I’ve got the PS3 set up for Canadian streaming on Netflix so I can get UFC and Spongebob, and the Xbox for US streaming with Hulu and Netflix US, so that pretty much covers everything but CBS shows."



    Any fellow Canadians on this board that are familiar with this whole "fake US address to get US Netflix" stuff? Is it really easy and safe? Everywhere I look the sites advertising it make it sound like a no-brainer, but I'm a little weary of trusting them.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Am I the only one who noticed how much space there was during punks triangle choke? It just looked sloppy. I cant give a match with that big of botch 5 stars. I got both of the main events at 4.5. I still think that Punk v Taker though is in the lead for MOTY though.

    ReplyDelete
  106. A lot of people here are misusing the word 'botch'. Yeah the triangle choke wasnt perfect, but it was fine by WWE standards and didn't ruin the flow of the match

    ReplyDelete
  107. Haha, I completely forgot about that part! Yep, it was an ATROCIOUS triangle (and I'm not some kind of MMA snob). It even looked like Brock had to adjust in the middle of it and make it tighter himself, which looked ridiculous. To their credit they made me forget about it pretty quick, but yeah, to me that's enough to knock a match down a bit.

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  108. Ha, yeah, I was listening to the show on a headset and there was all kinds of stuff coming through during the main event, especially during the guillotine. Usually they're careful where they mic the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I remember when he turned face and people were happy cause they said he had been a heel for so long, which at that point had been less than 4 years.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Fair enough. For me though, it was annoying to see a former UFC champion struggling to get out of a move that any person, even a non mma or wrestling fan, can tell isn't properly applied.

    ReplyDelete
  111. You don't need to fake the US address for Netflix, just sign up for Canadian Netflix and then get a VPN. The one I use is playmo.tv ($50 a year, or $5 a month I think) and there's also unblock.us which has similar pricing. Either way you're basically giving your devices a new DNS server that makes Netflix/Hulu/etc think you're in the US. Slows it down a tiny bit, but it's completely legal.

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  112. I'm fine with this critique of the match as long as its consistent with how you rate all matches. Reminds me of that Mike Campbell guy I used to read on 411, he was pretty hard on "great" matches that had noticeable botches, but he applied that standard across the board so no complaints from me.

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  113. I thought for a SPLIT SECOND that they were going to have Cena beat up Bryan post-match and have that be the reason Orton cashed in. I knew it wasn't going to happen but it would've been a billion times better than having Triple H inserted himself again in a hot angle.
    I don't know why the WWE Default for a new top face is to deal with McMahons. It swipes all the heat from Orton. The RKO is over enough that if he ran in & delivered it, fans buy it as a death move, just like the Pedigree. And then the heat is on Orton vs. Bryan, not HHH vs. Bryan with Orton as the go-between.
    They have something special with Bryan. They didn't need to go back 10 years and dig up the McMahon-Helmsley Regime to make it work.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Cool, thanks. I already have Canadian Netflix so I will go for this. Every person I know who's seen both versions says the US one blows Canada out of the water.

    ReplyDelete
  115. I think people who complain about the focus not being Orton-Bryan are forgetting just how boring Heel Randy Orton can be (and this is coming from a guy who LIKES Orton, although I wouldn't call myself a huge fan). I just finished watching Raw, and I'm loving this direction so far. I prefer this to another "Age of Orton" deal.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 9:46 AM

    'so I can get UFC and Spongebob'


    lest there be any confusion, obviously ufc is for his son and spongebob is for him

    ReplyDelete
  117. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    'Kane suplexes him to cause a flare-up.'


    in guess if he landed just so, yeah


    but my experience is that its atomic drops that usually cause flare-ups

    ReplyDelete
  118. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    'Best Summerslam ever? All evidence points to “YES!”'


    '02 says hi

    ReplyDelete
  119. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    just realized that cena bein' gone is a good thing not only cause cena needs to be gone in and of himself, but also now we can have a 2000 situation where dbry, obviously punk, and maybe some others get to be the hhh's, rock's, etc who dont get overshadowed by the main guy

    not sure if it sounded like the crowd was chanting for cena during dby's beatdown last night, but it was good to know that there was no chance that cena was gonna run in for the save and steal the spotlight

    ReplyDelete
  120. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    DEY TOOK ER JERBS


    er, IP'S!!!

    ReplyDelete
  121. We shall learn to live without.

    ReplyDelete
  122. You mean his daughter?

    ReplyDelete
  123. I just want this in writing and the URL saved so that way I can point to it in the future..

    It's around Royal Rumble time and the McMahon Family are the absolute rulers of the WWE Universe. Cena's still out, Bryan can't make headway without any backup, and the Family's latest target, the dissident known as CM Punk, can't beat the numbers. The night after the December PPV, after a successful Orton defense against Punk, the McMahons are at their utmost confident, so much so that they're picking fights with EVERYONE.

    Curtis Axel does something to annoy Triple H backstage and, remembering the night he re-debuted as a Paul Heyman Guy, Hunter books him in some kind of match with unbeatable odds where he gets laid out, most likely against The Shield. Heyman tries to talk some sense into them, reminding them that they got their start from him, but they're too far gone now and continue the beating, letting Heyman escape.

    Over the next couple of weeks Heyman gets further entrenched against the McMahons, perhaps through whatever PHG he brought in against Punk after Lesnar gave him a beating at SummerSlam. He's getting desperate because a Contrived Plot Device keeps him from getting Lesnar in to save his hide (Hunter bans him because of their past, something like that). Of course through all of this he's still got Punk wanting to to kill him so he's got to do something and do it fast.

    Two weeks before the Rumble and everyone knows it's going to be Daniel Bryan that wins, unless of course Cena makes a surprise return and wins for a third time. That's no sure thing either though because CM Punk has challenged Triple H and Orton to a tag match at the Rumble with Highly Important Stakes and Cena's likely for the spot. The McMahons don't care who it is though and say it can be anyone Punk wants because they'll win regardless and Punk will be gone thanks to the Highly Important Stakes.

    That night it's Round 434356345 of Punk Vs a PHG, probably Axel again, but Heyman seems pre-occupied and certainly isn't cheering his client on like he should. Punk knocks Curtis out, gets the duke, and tries yet again to get his hands on Heyman but here comes the Shield, Triple H, and Orton, trying to take out two birds with one stone.

    Heyman grabs the mic and starts pleading for his life to Punk. He knows that he betrayed him and that Punk won't rest until one of them is gone from the company forever but then what? The winner is subjected to Triple H's terror and rules and after exhausting themselves against each other, the winner won't have enough energy to fight back. So the proposal is ONE TIME ONLY...a temporary truce...become a Paul Heyman Guy again for the sole purpose of eliminating a common enemy. You have Punk sell the moment, the crowd going crazy at him for even thinking of it, and the bad guys are closing in. Punk realizes what's going to happen and despite every bone of his body telling him elsewise, he agrees: he'll be a PHG for one more night.

    Hunter and the boys are in the ring now, it's time to end this and...HERE COMES THE PAIN~! Punk can have ANYONE he wants as a partner and by virtue of being a PHG he gets Brock and the crowd goes insane as Lesnar comes out and just MDKs EVERYTHING in his path. You get an absolutely HUGE match to sell the Rumble with (in addition to the Rumble itself) and you can use whatever stips you want to help whatever other stories you're working on. As soon as they get the duke, obviously, Lesnar turns on Punk and beats him to death as well, setting up their obvious WM re-match.

    I swear, I'm not Jesse Baker...

    ReplyDelete
  124. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    someone took the wrong kid home apparently...

    ReplyDelete
  125. Thank you for being reasonable. Seriously. I've got 18 downvotes (and counting) for saying that it was *-*1/2 lower than what most people are giving it. We're talking about a *-*1/2. And I am pretty consistent on it. For example, I wouldn't go full monty for Punk-Cena at MITB '11 either, due to the couple obvious botches that everyone points to (though that was still a much better match than Bryan-Cena).

    ReplyDelete
  126. There's also blockless,com which I use, it lets you access USA/Canada/Mexico/UK and Sweden VPNs. So you get 5 versions of Netflix, which is a lot of good stuff. Plus you can watch American Network websites, BBC, and tons of others. For 5$ a month it's worth it beyond belief. Especially since the Canadian Netflix is crap.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Of course, if it was properly applied, Brock would be passing out for real.

    ReplyDelete
  128. I'd rather write on paper then use a mac

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  129. Well yeah that logic applies to 99% of wrestling moves and holds. But the illusion should still be there.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Well, I think the whole thing about the match was that Punk was so pissed and driven by revenge that he was able to somehow go toe-to-toe with superfighter Brock Lesnar.


    So of course the triangle choke isn't going to be applied to absolute perfection, he was capitalizing off of a move in the heat of battle and is fighting for his life just to survive against this monster.


    Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

    ReplyDelete
  131. if you call this living i don't want to be alive

    ReplyDelete
  132. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryAugust 20, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    Agreed. Fuck Crapple.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Yeah, I don't care about move theft. Especially between Japan and the US, but I threw in the KENTA thing about the people seriously calling Punk and others thieves.


    Though KENTA (jokingly) calling Punk a plagiarist is one of the coolest "Interactions between really talented guys that don't really interact".

    ReplyDelete
  134. I think the wrestling has been better than a lot of people give it credit for. But that's because I'm a big fan of Sheamus and ADR as workers, and there time as WHC really helped bring up the matches.


    The string of Ryback and Rock main-events though...meh.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Brock vs Punk as MOTY or Bryan vs Cena?

    ReplyDelete
  136. Or if the Undertaker taught us anything, bleeding like crazy from their mouths

    ReplyDelete
  137. Right on the money, Slaughterama.


    He's right out of the mind of a five-year old. "He should be, like, the strongest guy on Earth. But he can also run really fast and jump really high! And he can do suplexes and submission moves! And he can do flips off the top ropes! And he has a giant sword tattooed on his chest!"

    ReplyDelete
  138. HHH, Vince, and even Steph can carry the promo part of a main-event feud better than Randy "What's My Line" Orton.


    For all the complaints about whether Bryan will or will not be buried, I think people are missing the other side of it - which is that you could easily interpret HHH's and the McMahon involvement as a lack of faith in Orton.

    ReplyDelete
  139. I do think that heat and crowd-reaction have to factor in, though. I'll agree that Cena/Punk at "MITB '11" wasn't perfect (about 4*), but the story-line and atmosphere put it over the top.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I'm really hoping that, at some point, Heyman recruits Batista.

    ReplyDelete
  141. I still think Cena/Punk from "Raw" was better than either of last Sunday's matches, but they were all fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I agree. LOVED that Cena/Punk match. All 3 were fucking great so it's splitting hairs.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Lets be real, without the association with HHH would this REALLY be a heel turn for Orton? Almost everyone and their mother that's won a title by cashing in the briefcase has done it that way so many times that no one really views it as shady heel behavior anymore.

    Doing it this way cements Orton making a deal with the devil, AND gets us away from boring babyface HHH, 2 birds, 1 stone I say.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Bryan/Cena by a hair for me.

    ReplyDelete
  145. BROCK VS JESSE AT THE RUMBLE! :P

    ReplyDelete
  146. "In fact, I’m currently writing a top 10 list of Finishes That Make Me Want To Punch Vince Russo In The Face"


    Arquette wins the title, Russo wins the title, and blood pours on flair from the ceiling ALL need to make this list.

    ReplyDelete
  147. It has become the common way to cash-in, but the person cashing it in that way has always either been a heel, or became one soon after.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I'm still waiting for Lesnar to pull that tattoo off his chest and stab someone with it.


    It's going to happen on day.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 3:58 PM

    'RVD/Ambrose was surprisingly long and good'


    "Hi, I'm Darren Young, how are you?"

    ReplyDelete
  150. Your_Favourite_AssholeAugust 20, 2013 at 3:59 PM

    it wasnt a shining wizzard, it was a SHINNING wizard!


    d'ya want us ta get suuuuuuuuuuued?

    ReplyDelete
  151. For me it's VERY, VERY slightly Punk/Brock over Bryan/Cena and Punk/Cena from Raw. I wouldn't argue with any of those three.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I've pretty much hated Steph since 2000, and not in a "She's a heel and I hate her!" way, but I thought she did an excellent job last night. Her delivery on the "You're a B Plus......solid B Plus" line was great.

    ReplyDelete
  153. While Cena vs Bryan was incredibly good all I could think watching it is "these guys have another gear they could use and could have an even better match". Just seemed at points they were going slower than they needed to.

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  154. Forgive me if someone else has made this point, but I don't wanna dig through all the comments to prevent redundancy.


    I think the Bryan/Cena finish was pretty much the perfect finish for that match. Everything Bryan had thrown out in the match is something we'd seen from him before. A couple of the spots were even from some of the bigger Cena/Punk matches (kicking him in the head during the five knuckle shuffle taunt, going for a rana to counter the top rope AA). And Cena either survived them or powered out of them. The two moves that have been built up as solid finishers - Yes Lock and small package - were both used and neither worked (although he didn't hook the small package 100% so they actually protected it a bit). But with Bryan they constantly talk about all the various ways he can hurt you, stopping just short of flat-out calling him the man of 1,004 Holds. So the fact that Cena DID survive everything Bryan threw at him made the finish, that specific finish, perfect. Bryan just had more ways to beat Cena than Cena had ways to survive. Cena made it through all the stuff he'd done in the past so he busted out something he hadn't done before, and THAT worked. Hell, they could turn it into a running thing with Bryan, where for big matches or just to further the gimmick he busts out a new finisher just to put over how vast his moveset is. The unapologetic Bryan Danielson fanboy in me would obviously change it to having Cena submit to Cattle Mutilation or something, but looking at it as unbiased as I can, I honestly wouldn't change a second of that finish.

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  155. Especially given that Orton is on strike 2.

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  156. That maybe because of Cena's elbow

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  157. so i gif'd the sequence and maybe it was supposed to be a small package and if so then Bryan is even more awesome cuz it looks like he realizes it's not gonna happen and decides to try a perfect plex instead.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/51asv36ejvx9urj/botchedsmallpackage.gif

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  158. For as much love as we give Brock for being a beast, I think the man's comedic timing is severely underappreciated. He gave me my biggest laugh of the night when he smiled down at a battered Punk and said, "Hey baby girl!" like he was at a club trying to pick up some floozie.

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  159. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:08 AM

    IT'S BECAUSE BROCK DOESN''T KNOW HOW TO WORK IN *THIS* BUSINESS, JACK!

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  160. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:14 AM

    Yeah I was on the fence myself (8 hour train ride each way just to get to SoCal + another 90-minute car commute from my folks' place to LA), btu everyone here told me that if the co-main events were as good as we thought they would be, I'd be regretting it. I'm so fucking glad I did, torturous train rides notwithstanding.

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  161. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:15 AM

    Ever since his mariachi celebration during the Eddie feud, I never underestimate Brock's comedic timing.

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  162. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:16 AM

    I think he's the most freak of nature I've ever seen in any athletically demanding field; there should be no way a guy that big should be as strong as someone 100 lbs bigger and as fast as someone 100 lbs lighter.

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  163. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:18 AM

    I think there was no way they were gonna get a MITB '11-like atmosphere, because the main element of the hometown crowd is missing. CM Punk in that story going for the gold in Chicago was one of the most perfect storms in wrestling history.

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  164. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:19 AM

    Brock/Punk, but I wouldn't argue if someone wanted to go the other way. They're my top 2 of the year so far.

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  165. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:22 AM

    Yeah, I'd go ****3/4 myself, but at that point, you're beyond picking nits.

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  166. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:29 AM

    I did too. I'm not the fondest of Steph and HHH, but I think this whole McMahons + Orton + Shield story works because you have a guy crowds will pay to rally behind in Bryan, against a stable that seems damn near impossible to topple. There's an actual motive behind why Steph and HHH are dominating shows, and it relates to WRESTLING, and that's why I'm buying in right now. This is heel heat at its best: bad guys screw good guy, stacks incredible odds, and now the audience will try to will that good guy to the top every week. If they can slow-burn it right like they did with Batista, Bryan will be a made man for life.

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  167. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryAugust 21, 2013 at 1:31 AM

    No Zanadude? What happened?

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  168. Dude, that sucks.

    If you're out there, make another account and call yourself 'ZanaBro'.

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  169. Yes but Orton doing something dickish like this wouldn't be out of the blue for him since he usually did stuff like this in his recent babyface run. Especially given that he has history with Bryan.


    Now given all that above, would anyone buy a simple cash in as a heel turn, or are the fans more likely to see it as a heel turn with the HHH element added?

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  170. That's a great point that I had forgotten about - that the crowd was so hot specifically BECAUSE it was his hometown.

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