PG WEEK: Tribute to the Troops 2013 on NBC

The PG Era Rant for Tribute to the Troops 2013 (NBC Edit).

Okay, no need to say what happened the last time we left our “heroes”, because as WWE loves to point out, tonight's show is FOR the heroes.

From Lewis-McChord Joint Base in Tacoma, WA.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and JBL.

We open with Daniel Bryan on his way to the ring. Our troops need to work on their YES.

But as he fires up the crowd, we get the opening credits and a look back at our last 10 Tributes. It includes footage of surprise troop family reunions that NEVER get old.

I take it back; the troops have been YES-ing right along with Bryan all throughout the credits. But before we can get too much into the spirit, the Wyatt Family heads to the ring.

Daniel Bryan v. Bray Wyatt. Bray throws Bryan around, but Bryan comes back with kicks only to run into a back elbow. They must be in an airplane hangar – acoustics are bad and Bray's blowing steam. Bray works Bryan over in the corner and Hammer Throws him. Bray punches Bryan in the corner and charges, but Bryan flips over and gets his comeback. Bryan with YES Kicks, including the roundhouse, and he goes up top for the Ram Jam. Harper and Rowan race in for the DQ at 1:43. It's 3-on-1 against Bryan, but CM Punk races down and urges them to bring it. He races past Rowan, low bridges Harper, and dives onto both of them before pulling Bryan up. And now Vickie Guerrero emerges from the back to break it up. She ejects Bray from ringside and changes the match. HOLLA! (takes drink)

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan v. CM Punk & Daniel Bryan. Joined in progress with Punk and Bryan working Rowan over in the corner. Bray was allowed to stay at ringside after all. Rowan lands a back elbow on Bryan. Harper in, and he drops a pair of elbows for two. To the chinlock, as we look over a C-17 in the backdrop. Bryan fights out, but gets clobbered. Rowan back in, and an elbowdrop gets two. Neck crank follows as everyone can see their breath. Even JBL has to admit it. Bryan fights out but runs into a fallaway slam. Rowan misses a falling something, and hot tag Punk. A series of clotheslines staggers Rowan, as does a roundhouse kick, so Punk finally sends him down with a springboard clothesline. Running knee in the corner, and the duck-under spinning neckbreaker follows. Punk calls for GTS and succeeds in getting him up, but now Bray runs in for the DQ at 2:52. 3/4* So who's next to make the save? How about John Cena. Cena cleans house and saves Punk and Bryan as a standoff happens. Hey, here's Vickie again. HOLLA! (takes another drink)

Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan v. CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and John Cena. Joined in progress as Bray crushes Punk in the corner and does the inverted look. Harper in, and he hooks the Gator Roll on Punk. They have people watching from on top of a helicopter. Punk gets to his feet, but Harper pushes off only to get hit with the spinning neckbreaker Punk does. Harper bounces everyone off the face corner and suplexes Punk, but he doesn't get anything because Cena distracts the ref looking for revenge. Rowan in, and he gets a reverse powerslam into a backbreaker for two. If you go to the dot-com, Michael Cole interviews the Governor of Washington. Anyway, Bray in as he traps Punk in a neutral corner and puts him on it, but Punk headbutts Bray down and gets a diving bodypress. Harper in, but it's hot tag Cena and Cena goes into Comeback Mode. He taunts Rowan with You Can't See Me and drops the Five-Knuckle Shuffle on Harper. Harper slides out of the AA, but the STF is on, and Rowan has to save. Everybody's in the ring now, and Harper's left alone at the end to get hit with GTS, Running Knee, and AA for the pin at 4:00. *1/2 I know I missed quite a bit in the matches that was during the break, so don't really give too much to my ratings.

Clips of celebrities saying thank you to the troops: Bruce Willis (born on a US base in Germany) and Ryan Seacrest this time.

Later tonight, Jeff Dunham and Daughtry.

Michelle Beadle (the other woman in the ridiculous AJ temper scandal) interviews Army Ranger Col. Hodges, the head of the base.

Santino Marella is in the ring to introduce Daughtry (as only he can).

Daughtry performs their new song “Waiting for Superman”.

We see Maj. Gen. Stephen Lanza, the head of the Infantry Division of the base.

Fandango v. R-Truth. So apparently this is like a Saturday Night's Main Event where everything goes from most to least desirable. That's the only explanation for why we haven't seen Jeff Dunham yet. Fun fact: this is twice now I've wanted to type “Duh-nam” and caught myself. Truth with a headlock takedown into a reversal sequence, and Round Two ends in Truth getting crunk or something. High hiptoss by Truth has Fandango groggy. A big uppercut and Truth rains down punches in the corner but gets thrown off. Fandango with a clothesline, but he runs into leg lariat. Truth adds a series of clotheslines, followed by a sitout front suplex for two. Axe Kick misses as Fandango bails and gets a rope-pull kick, but he runs into Little Jimmy to get pinned at 1:48. Truth celebrates with the troops.

More celebrity thank-yous: Alec Baldwin and Will Ferrell (“Stay classy, US Armed Forces”).

The Bella Twins introduce Jeff Dunham.

Dunham (and Peanut) mis-perform the Night Before Christmas, as a commentary on 2013. Big Show appears and says it's his turn and he has to cut them off. YAY BIG SHOW!

Big Show v. Damien Sandow. Sandow comments on how ridiculous the show has been so far and says his New Year's Resolution is to win the gold. Sandow tries a waistlock, but yeah right, so Show bumps Sandow down. Big headbutt follows, then a STINKFACE OF DOOM. Yes, that happened. Show rips off Sandow's shirt and does the CHOP OF DOOM to him. Sandow chops away to no effect as Show just stares at him incredulously, then plants him with a chop. Clotheslines follow, then an avalanche and shoulderblock. It's chokeslam time (“USA!”), and he calls to the fans before loading up the right hand and connecting for the pin at 2:04. But BRYAN'S music plays as Punk, Bryan, and Cena return to YES all the way with Big Show. The locker room follows with YES FOR EVERYONE. Even Cole and JBL join in. The roster fills the ring and shakes hands with troops at ringside. Everyone is YES-ing (well, except the unconscious Sandow) as we end the show.

Not commenting, not recapping, not statting, just saying: thank you, ladies and gentlemen who allow me to stay alive. Thank you.