The PG Era Rant: Raw, 1/27/14

WARNING: Due to the unanimous feelings about the reaction to last night's Royal Rumble, this RAW will contain what is certain to be a running gag that will get old fast. If you don't like it, I won't do it again, but I just want to make sure I get the temperature of the Internet correct.

When last we left our heroes, the Rumble winner was Not Daniel Bryan, which appeared to be all that mattered.

I didn't catch the live look-in ad because a high school friend was on Jeopardy and I watched that instead. I regret nothing. (For those who care, she won huge to become the new champion. Go Julie!)

The PG Era Rant for Raw, January 27, 2014.

Live from Cleveland. First person to find Mick Foley dressed as a sailor, please direct him to Atlanta.

Your hosts are two guys who went 1 minute in their last Rumble appearance... and Michael Cole.

We open with clips from last night, where Randy Orton retained the WWE Title. Give the production company credit – they make it sound like the booing was directed specifically at Orton.

Triple H and Stephanie are out first. We get clips of Brock Lesnar annihilating Big Show, which does my heart good. (I've warned you – I really don't like Big Show or Triple H.) The chair being broken is such an amazing visual, especially since I bet it wasn't planned. Stephanie gets the first Sign Point of the night. Stephanie is excited and happy about the Rumble, and here comes the YES chants. Stephanie: “Yes! Yes it was one of the most epic Royal Rumbles in history.” HHH: “Aw, did someone not get what they wanted? That's too bad.” Triple H seems baffled that the fans aren't happy. I can hear a Daniel Bryan chant, but most people are booing. HHH keeps running down last night, but the crowd is just booing him. Mentioning Not Daniel Bryan winning the Rumble gets huge boos. But Stephanie lets us know there's still the Elimination Chamber. At that event, Randy Orton will defend against five people in the Chamber. And now, here's Daniel Bryan as the crowd goes LOUD. JBL calls what Bryan does a sign of disrespect, but Cole says it's what the fans want. Lawler points out the YES chant wasn't for the Authority. JBL: “Yeah, and I wanted wings and never got them. You want things, doesn't mean you'll get them.” The whole arena is doing YES. Bryan asks them to be quiet because the Authority doesn't like it. Don't make them mad, after all. OF COURSE they just chant more, but which? Stephanie calls it a cheap parlor trick. Bryan talks about his match with Bray Wyatt, calling it one of the toughest in his career, but that his match will be among the best in Rumble history. More YES chants. HHH gives Bryan credit for “a good little effort”. Stephanie is nicer. Then Bryan says the biggest disappointment was that he wasn't in it. This story has gone meta. Bryan acknowledges the undercard match, but he says he still wanted to be in it, and so did the fans. The Yes Movement™ is now canon. But the Authority kept denying him. Stephanie tries to explain that, hey, he already HAD a match, and with everything he's been through, they thought he might suffer an injury. Crowd thinks they suck. Bryan calls their bluff over being put in jeopardy, seeing as he's already had multiple opponents over and over, but HHH says, yeah, so we decided to stop doing it. Bryan says they don't care about his health or his business – he says they're acting personal. Stephanie is upset and turns the tables: Bryan only thinks of himself, while they think of the whole roster. “Do you honestly believe everyone only came here to see you?” Crowd: “YES YES YES!” Bryan loses his straight face. Bryan asks if they were here to see Randy Orton (“NO!”), Triple H (“NO!”), or whoever they want. Heck, that's what makes WWE awesome: everyone's here for someone, but they WANT Daniel Bryan right now. The crowd is now an active babyface character. I love it. Stephanie says they're not united on one chant, which INSTANTLY unites them on a Daniel Bryan chant. Bryan's not here to complain since it's in the past, but hey, there are five spots in the Chamber, right? Bryan wants in that match. And so does the crowd. Want him in it. I don't think they'd fit in the pod. Bryan talks past Stephanie to Hunter and says they're not leaving until it happens. HHH glares at Bryan in a staredown that WILL be part of your WM30 buildup if they know what they're doing. Trips says there's more than one person in the ring, because here comes the Shield. Cole is audibly rolling his eyes, as is Lawler. Bryan anticipates this and gets a chair to hold them off. Rollins tumbled on his entrance, I think. Didn't get a good look. Sign Guy: “REIGNS, TAKE YOUR TALENTS TO SOUTH BEACH.” And of course Reigns gets the first shot in and the 3-on-1 begins. But Sheamus is on his way to the ring to make the save to a HUGE pop. The Shield mugs Sheamus as he's not doing much better. But John Cena is here to even the sides. We have a six-man main event, I bet. And nothing wrong with it. All heck is breaking loose as the faces clean house. PLAY DANIEL BRYAN'S MUSIC! That was one AMAZING opening segment.

Randy Orton will be here tonight.

Dear WWE: if I pre-order the Network, will you stop putting these ads on? PS: how do you pre-order the Network?

Earlier tonight, the inevitable six-man tag will be a qualifying match for the Chamber, with the winning team (all of them) in the Chamber.

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara II v. We the People. Cesaro carries the sign: “WANTED – TWO MASKED MEN WHO SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.” Colter: “Well well well; look what el gato dragged in.” He says criminals are the ones who wear masks. More faux Spanish before we get the salute. Cesaro and Rey start. Cesaro with a wristlock, but Rey fights out and gets an armdrag. Cara in, and the tecnicos do Poetry in Motion into a rana. Cesaro stays in control and brings in Swagger, but both People get taken over Junior Santo style. Blind charge by Santo misses, and Cara keeps up the offense with the Tajiri elbow for one. Cara with a sunset flip try, but Swagger picks him up and throws him only to get low bridged out. Cara with a tope suicida to follow. Colter chews Swagger and Cesaro out and slaps Swagger. He has to be restrained by Cesaro, then goes back in and suplexes Cara before tackling him. He's mad. Colter as we go to break: “Take out that anger on him!” Back in with Colter upset while Cesaro elbows Cara. We get a salute, but it opens the door for a Cara flurry. Cesaro is staggered, but Swagger cuts off the hot tag only to get caught in what I have to call a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Cesaro can't cut the tag off as Cara flips him over the ropes, but Cesaro pulls Rey off the apron to keep Cara in. Cesaro tries a German, but Cara cradles him for two. Cesaro with an overhead slam for two. Swagger in, and it's a double free-fall drop for two. Swagger stomps away and gets the Vaderbomb, but Cara moves. Cesaro's legal, but he misses an avalanche anyway. Hot tag Rey, and he goes flying to take Cesaro out. Flying seated senton and prawn bulldog follow for two. Big kick gets two, Swagger saves. JBL thinks it's over. Cara takes Swagger out, and Cara alley-oops Rey into 619 position. Cara tags himself in after the 619, but the Swanton misses. Cara rolls through and springboards straight into a European Uppercut. Neutralizer finishes at 9:49. I thought they were going for a face turn, but if it's a push either way, I'll like it. **3/4

Don't forget that main event: John Cena, Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus against Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins. Three Elimination Chamber spots will be decided.

Also, we get a tag team title rematch between the Rhodes Brothers and the New Age Outlaws.

Bad News Barrett is at the podium. That gavel is going to get him over. Especially if you use it 50 times. Today's bad news for those of us who watch TV: The Miz has a match tonight. It's against the other Ohio native, Dolph Ziggler. Thankfully, the winner does not own Cleveland, because then everyone would be a loser. Especially Cleveland. You're all losers, basically. If he uses the gavel as a weapon in his matches, he'll get over.

Appearing on the WWE Network: Monday Night War. Here's the thing: by all accounts, you can't sign up for the WWE Network until the day of the launch, which strikes me as a bad idea. The announcers trying to read the countdown graphic is kind of amusing.

Fandango is next.

Seriously? Kid Rock as the singer of the WrestleMania theme? Again? Is he still that popular?

Fandango v. R-Truth. Xavier Woods is on commentary. That reminds me: wasn't he supposed to be in the Rumble? Truth opens with the advantage, getting elbowed in the back as we see Emma is still at ringside. Truth with a backslide for one. Truth remains on top, with the splits legdrop, but Fandango bails. Woods does bring up that “his number was stolen before I could see it” and blames JBL. Summer Rae runs interference, and Fandango gets a clothesline to take over. Back in, Fandango with a knee to the back for two. Short lariat by Fandango gets two. Woods is working on his PhD. JBL: “Like Dr. Shelby?” Fandango with a suplex for two. We HIT THE CHINLOCK as Woods says he wants to specialize in teaching autistic kids. At Walden University. JBL puts East Carolina over as the Harvard of the South. Nyuk nyuk. (It's a rib, don't worry if you don't get it.) Blind charge by Fandango misses and Truth gets the comeback. Suplex stunner gets two. Axe kick misses, and Fandango with a spin kick for two. Fandango staggers to the top rope, but Truth is up and gets the Little Jimmy to win at 3:31. Commentary was actually more fun than the match, and that's not a slam on the match either. *

The Champ is here! Randy Orton, I mean.

Man, where was the Reading Challenge when I was the right age? I would've loved a free trip to, say, WrestleMania 8. Knowing me, I would've instead won a visit from El Matador or Tatanka.

Brad Maddox is here. He introduces himself after Justin Roberts introduces him, and all Maddox does is introduce Randy Orton. The announcers mention that the Wyatts were out to attack Cena, even though it wasn't clear who they were after until Cena attacked Wyatt pre-emptively. Orton: “The Champ is here.” Despite what people thought, Orton was victorious again and left with the gold. Was it hollow? Who cares? Orton only cares that it was a victory. And now he finds out he's defending in the Chamber. He glares at Maddox and asks if it's his idea. Orton wants respect, since he's the Face of the Company. And here comes Not Daniel Bryan. Not Bryan looks like he just got off the Greyhound bus. Orton is furious that Not Bryan is here. Crowd boos him. HHH referring to Not Bryan as his friend earlier probably didn't help. Not Bryan congratulates Orton – no, really, sincerely. Crowd chants for the real Daniel Bryan. Not Bryan has three reasons to be back: to win the Rumble, to headline Mania, and to win the title. Not Bryan says it isn't personal and rattles off the people who he doesn't care if it is, looking to the crowd instead of Orton when mentioning Daniel Bryan. Hm. Whether Orton likes it or not, Not Bryan will be the champ after WrestleMania. Before we can go any further, Viking Space Lord Brock Lesnar is in the house! Orton looks a little worried for obvious reasons. Maddox looks VERY worried. Paul Heyman introduces himself and his client before saying that Brock is getting impatient. See, Maddox needs to tell the Authority that either they can make history (right here in Cleveland, Ohio – although Heyman seems sick to say it) by putting Brock against Orton tonight, or he can go with Choice #2, which is Brock against Not Bryan. Heyman doesn't have a favorite suggestion, because no matter which choice is made, the fans will win. The answer must be given tonight... “or else”. Maddox looks like he's going to die. Brock leaves, glaring at both Orton and Not Bryan as he does. Heyman: “I'm just an advocate.”

Just a reminder: our confirmed main event is the six-man Chamber qualifier. Also, two Cleveland natives in Dolph Ziggler and The Miz will go at it.

Dolph Ziggler v. The Miz. Dolph has a Cavaliers custom-made jersey. I hope this turns out better than the last time Miz was in Cleveland. Miz has a Browns #84 jersey. Cole brings out the HIGH SCHOOLS they went to. And they give Boxing Intros to the two. This needs Teddy Long to make it a tag match. Tie-up as JBL unloads the Cleveland jokes. Dolph with a headlock and tackle. They do a series of reversals until Miz gets a knee smash to the gut. Through-the-ropes clothesline by Miz, but he gets caught off the top by a superkick for two. There are Cleveland sports guys in the crowd. Rocker Dropper misses, but Dolph with a sleeper. This goes on for a while. There's a “Cleveland Rocks” chant. Miz armdrags out and gets a thrust kick for two. Now we're told the Steelers suck. Can't say I disagree. Miz with the Finale try, but Dolph rolls him up for two. Miz with the backbreaker, then a figure-four try. Emphasis on try. Dolph makes the ropes. Cole and JBL hate Cleveland. A second try leads to both getting two on a small package. Zig Zag ends it at 4:08. That's it? Kind of a waste. 3/4*

The Tag Title rematch is later tonight.

Now that ten million people have downloaded the WWE App, we can stop shilling it, right?

Ryback and Curtis Axel v. The Usos. JBL remembered he wasn't supposed to lead the crowd in the chant. For once. Ryback will start with Jey. Ryback shoves him into the corner but gets hit with uppercuts. Jey is caught, and Ryback throws him corner-to-corner. Ryback rips Jey's shirt off before sending him into the heel corner and tagging Axel in. Axel with stomps and a dropkick. Jey fights to his feet, but Axel gets the Northern Lariat. He bites (Jey's forehead). Ryback in, and the two get their corner double-team into a Ryback stalling suplex. Which he keeps up for about 10 seconds. It gets two. Ryback bullies Jey around, but Jey fights back only to get elbowed. Axel back in, and he chops away on Jey in the corner. Ryback has Iron Man on his tights. He tags in and gets a snapmare and back kick. We HIT THE CHINLOCK. Jey fights out, but a Ryback blind charge misses and Ryback goes all the way to the floor. Axel helps him back in, gets the tag, and cuts off the Usos... until Jimmy smacks Axel and gets the tag. Axel does a 360 off of a calf kick. Jimmy pounds Axel so hard in the corner the ref separates them, which leads to the Rikishi hip check, that misses. Ryback with a blind tag, and he clubs Jimmy. Shell Shock follows, but JEY tags himself in and superkicks Ryback. So does Jimmy. Superfly Splash follows as Jey dives onto Axel, and it gets the pin at 5:48. Good finish to a bad match. 1/2*

Don't miss our main event! Also, who will join Ultimate Warrior in the Class of 2014?

Kofi Kingston v. Alberto Del Rio. So Kofi is on fire as a face, has a win over Orton, and just had another great non-elimination in the Rumble. Meanwhile, ADR gets an insert promo to talk about how he hates Not Daniel Bryan and how Not Bryan will not make WrestleMania. ADR backs Kofi into the corner and kicks him in the gut before pounding away. ADR with a snapmare and he rides him to the ropes, choking away. Kofi comes back with kicks, then a running dropkick. A big kick to the gut follows, then he leaps to the top for the ten-punch countalong. ADR with a mule kick to stop the momentum. Lariat gets two. ADR gets suckered to the ropes and does his out of the ring bump, and Kofi follows to dive on ADR. Back in, Kofi is caught with the step-up enzuigiri. ADR rolls outside and drags Kofi with him, throwing him into the barricade. Back in, ADR gets two. We go to the chinlock now, as the crowd wants Randy Savage. ADR knocks Kofi down and goes up, landing the double axhandle and stomping away. Now the crowd chants for JBL. Del Rio: the opposite of heat. ADR pounds away in the corner as JBL acknowledges the crowd. ADR is furious at JBL stealing his thunder. So the crowd goes for Jerry. ADR and Kofi are both up top, and both fall off to the floor. Lawler salutes the crowd. So clearly it's Michael Cole's turn as we go to break. Back in, and ADR gets two for some reason. We go back to the chinlock, which is totally going to help the crowd. Kofi gets out with a jawbreaker, then a sunset flip gets two. ADR gets a German suplex for two. ADR looks to the sign before charging Kofi and getting elbowed. Kofi keeps up the counter-attack, going up top and getting a Tornado DDT for a double KO. Kofi up first and he begins the comeback until ADR kicks the leg. The low superkick is countered with a cradle for two. Kofi with the Boom Drop (which is still over) and he's ready to finish. ADR ducks and goes to the outside, but Kofi catches him and brings him in. SOS follows, but ADR's foot is on the rope. Crowd is angry. ADR gets the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as the crowd chants for Rob Van Dam now. ADR gets the SIGN POINT OF DOOM and signals for the armbar, but Kofi ducks and misses Trouble in Paradise as ADR gets the Backstabber for two. ADR is frustrated. Kofi gets a chant as ADR goes up, but Kofi crotches him. He follows up, but ADR shoves him down and gets the guillotine stomp. That spot's really contrived, but the crowd buys it. ADR begs Kofi to get up, and the low superkick connects for the pin at 13:36. Why? ***1/4 Seriously, Kofi has all sorts of momentum and Del Rio is so dead that the crowd chants for literally everyone else in his matches, so why feed Kofi to ADR? Oh, right, so that Not Daniel Bryan has an opponent to beat.

Hey, we got a title match coming up, and it's next. Plus, someone is facing Brock Lesnar.

WWE Tag Team Championships: New Age Outlaws v. Rhodes Brothers. Road Dogg fires up the crowd because he doesn't seem to realize he's a heel. Seriously, did they just not get the memo? But before the match, Dogg wants to talk about the rumors of their friendship with the Authority, and he says they became champs because they're the best. The Rhodeses were good, but not good enough, and the Rhodeses knock them out of the ring as their rebuttal. The Outlaws can be overheard saying they shouldn't be doing this. Gunn and Dustin start. Gunn mocks Goldust and gets beaten up for it. A quick one-count leads to an armdrag and Gunn calls time and bails. Road Dogg fans Gunn off with JBL's hat. Cody is nonplussed. Dogg tags in, and after some stalling, he walks into a headlock and gets tackled for one. Dogg: “What's going on here?” Goldust sits in a neutral corner and waits as Dogg recovers. Goldust fakes out a test of strength and keeps it up, and Cody in with an elbow to the arm. Headlock takedown gets one for Cody. Cody works the arm, but Dogg slugs out of it only to be caught with the following clothesline for two. He stole that move from DiBiase Jr. Cody to the armbar, and he cuts off a Dogg charge, but when he goes up the Outlaws bail out. At least they're acting heel during the match. Cody: “Get your old ass in the ring!” Dogg slowly returns, losing a strike-fest. Cody with a snapmare and another armbar. He drops knees into the arm and gets one. Dogg with a knee to take over and he boxes Cody, but gets caught jiving and Cody dropkicks for two. Goldust in, and he keeps the fight up with a snapmare and elbow for two. Now Goldust works the arm. Dogg rushes him into the champs' corner, and Gunn tags in and punches away. It gets one. Gunn with a straight right, and Dogg returns with a kick to the gut. Goldust blocks and floors Dogg, pounding him in the corner. Gunn tags in and works over Goldust, but he puts his head down and Goldust gets the kneeling uppercut. Inverted atomic drop, but Goldust runs into a big boot as we go to break. We return with Gunn working Goldust over and whipping him back and forth, but he runs into a powerslam. Both men need a tag in the worst way, but Dogg stops Goldust only to get hit with... was that the Canadian Destroyer?? It gets two. It also allows the hot tag to Cody, who runs over Gunn and gets the sliding punch. High knee follows and Dogg tries to dump Cody, only for him to get a springboard dropkick on both Outlaws. Disaster Kick misses Gunn, and Gunn gets a clothesline as Viking Space Lord Brock Lesnar heads to the ring. F-5 to both Rhodeses as the match ends at 11:56. Really? **1/4 Apparently, the Authority said “or else”. So Brock doesn't have a match tonight, which means Brock is going to destroy the brothers. He has a chair and goes to town on both men. The chair falls apart again, from fewer shots this time, as Brock glares into the camera. And oh yeah, the Outlaws are still champions. You wonder if the Authority told Brock to go take it out on the people in the ring, since they do not like the Rhodes family in storyline. That would be a neat hook.

Heaven help us if he interrupts the main event Elimination Chamber qualifier. Also, don't try this at home. Please do not get hit with a chair by Brock Lesnar at home.

AJ Lee, Tamina, Aksana, and Alicia Fox v. Cameron, Naomi, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella. Aksana and Cameron start. And the trash talking begins as Cameron goes “gurl bye”only to get a snapmare. Brie in, and she gets a second-rope dropkick for one. They exchange kicks, and Nikki tags herself in as they get a snapmare to dropkick combo. Alicia in, and she gets hit with a flying snapmare only to score a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Alicia carries Nikki to the corner and tags in AJ, who is the only person with any heat because she's the only one who always wins. She goes to a chinlock with body-scissors. Nikki fights out, but AJ calmly blocks and gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Aksana back in, and she stomps away on Nikki and taunts the faces. Side suplex, Dino Bravo style, and she circles Nikki before covering for two. Elbowdrop follows, but a second one misses. Aksana prevents the tag and Tamina tags herself in and stomps the leg. Big slam follows, plus a kneedrop and back chinlock. Nikki bridges out, but Tamina clubs the gut as she does. Big knee to the gut and Hammer Throw follow, then the JACKET THROW OF DOOM. How is that legal? Tamina puts Nikki up top and lowers her into the Tree of Woe before kicking away. Nikki with a kick to get out of it as she creates separation™. Another kick and it's hot tag Naomi. She takes it to AJ with a dropkick and... uh... tail-wiggle drop? What WAS that? Flip clothesline follows, then a gyration legdrop. It gets two. The twins take Tamina out of the equation... except Aksana and Alicia and Cameron run in and it's a three-to-three suplex, leaving Naomi and AJ. Butt butt by Naomi gets the pin at 5:40. Better than it had any right to be. *1/4 So now we know who's going to lose to AJ next during her eternal title reign. Everybody dance! Brie does the Worm.

Up next: the Hall of Fame expands by one more act.

And now Jerry Lawler will introduce the next Hall of Famer... JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS! Fantastic decision. One of the best storytellers of his time, and the DDT is a default finishing move because of him. Please let Damien or a stand-in make an appearance at the show. Either that, or Dean Ambrose inducts him.

This segues into announcing you can watch the archive of the WWE Network with all WrestleMania matches, including the occasional “30 for 30” style look at major matches.

Main event, Elimination Chamber triple qualifier: John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan v. The Shield. Sheamus and Cena are reasonably over, but NOTHING like Daniel Bryan. Bryan starts to talk to the camera, so they cut to the crowd.

Christian is back on SmackDown!

Uh-oh... during the commercial break it just occurred to me that the Wyatt Family, coming off their big night of attacking John Cena, haven't been seen yet. If the match ends this way and Daniel Bryan's kept out of the main event because of it, the crowd is going to be furious.

Anyway: Main event, Elimination Chamber triple qualifier: John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan v. The Shield. Cena and Ambrose start. Ambrose with a headlock, but Cena pushes off and eventualy gets a tackle. Ambrose retreats and tags Rollins in. Rollins tries to calm Ambrose down before he goes for Cena. Cena with a snapmare and they exchange headlocks. Cena with a big right hand to floor Rollins, and Reigns calmly tags in. The crowd is chanting for Reigns. Okay, fine, push him on his own. This time Reigns floors Cena. Another lockup, and this time Cena goes down again. Quick AA try, but Reigns slides out and admonishes Cena. Sheamus in to a huge ovation. Reigns and Sheamus fight over a lockup, with neither getting the edge. Round 2 goes the same way, but Reigns punches out on a corner break. Sheamus fires back, but Reigns with a kick before running into a back elbow. Rude Awakening by Sheamus gets one. Reigns with a shoulder ram and uppercut, but Rollins tags in. Rollins winds up being kicked hard by Sheamus on a duck-down, and Sheamus with the Finlay Roll. Big kick to the back folows, and Rollins is tied up in the ropes and given... you know what, I call this spot the Ten of Clubs. Remember it for future rants. Another Finlay Roll try, but Rollins slides out and kicks out the knee. Ambrose in and everyone stomps away. Ambrose boxes Sheamus in the ropes as the crowd wants Bryan. Ambrose runs into a Polish Hammer, and after asking the crowd, Sheamus brings Bryan in. Kicks follow as Ambrose goes into a guard in the corner. Cross-corner dropkick and he puts Ambrose up, getting the top rope Frankensteiner. It gets two. European Uppercut follows, but Ambrose escapes and brings in Rollins, who is instantly caught in the bow-and-arrow surfboard. He switches to a chinlock in the hold, but his own shoulders are down for two so he switches back. Sheamus in and he kicks Rollins' block off. Legdrop follows for two, brudda. Sheamus works the arm and brings in Cena for a double suplex. It gets two. Blind charge misses and Rollins with a clothesline for one. Rollins shepherds Cena to the corner as we go to break. We return with Ambrose pounding on Cena on the apron, sliding back in and cutting off the hot tag with a variation of the ankle lock. Rollins in, and he smashes Cena and stomps away. He taunts Cena, who is only half-awake, but he takes too long to do it and gets slugged out. Blind charge by Cena eats boot, and the Buff Blockbuster gets two. Rollins keeps working over Cena in the ropes, setting him up for Reigns' drive-by dropkick. It gets two before Cena gets the ropes. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch on Cena, connecting but not covering right away. He calls out for a spear, but Cena sidesteps and Reigns flies out of the ring. It's a long crawl for Cena, and Reigns cuts it off with an elbowsmash. He gets two. Ambrose returns and punches down Cena before stepping on his hand. Another box-out by Ambrose, and he scrapes the face in the corner before getting a Hammer Throw. Another Hammer Throw try is reversed and both men are down. Rollins cuts off the tag again, and a tug-of-war breaks out. Rollins knocks Bryan off the apron to stop the tag and then mocks Sheamus. It draws him in, so the Shield corner Cena and Rollins just mauls him. Ambrose in, and it's a double suplex. Ambrose gets two. Ambrose gets an armbar and scrapes the face again while holding it. He switches to a sleeperhold, as the corners leads a Cena chant. And it's a straight Cena chant – no dueling! Cena carries Ambrose and throws him into the corner. Ambrose recovers with a knee to the gut and DDT for two. Rollins is perplexed. Ambrose calmly walks... right into the AA! Cena's too dead to cover, but he gets the HOT HOT HOT tag to Bryan. Reigns is flying, Rollins is beaten down, and Bryan does his Video Game Comeback, landing a dive on Ambrose. He floors Rollins and goes up with the missile dropkick and kip-up. Crowd is going nuts. YES kicks are next, and the roundhouse connects, Reigns saves. Sheamus enters to cut Reigns off, but he gets speared. Cena catches Reigns and tries the AA, but Reigns avoids it and spears Cena, too. Bryan with the running knee to Reigns, but Rollins rolls him up with the tights for two. I thought that was it. It's Bryan and Rollins now, and it's a slugfest. Bryan flips over on a German but is caught with the turnbuckle bomb for two. This Is Awesome. Even if the crowd doesn't say it. Crowd is chanting YES. Rollins with the Stinger Splash on Bryan as everyone else is out. He goes up, but Bryan catches him with a German suplex. Bryan is firing up, but the crossover dropkick misses. Rollins rolls him up, Bryan reverses, and it's the Yes Lock but Ambrose saves. Brogue Kick to Ambrose and he's down. Flying knee to Sheamus and the two legal men are left. Dive by Rollins misses and the two collide mid-ring. Cena's the only one up now, and he begs Bryan for a tag, getting it. Reigns gets one too, and Cena goes for the STF, locking it in. Reigns rolls over and POWERS OUT OF IT. And now the Wyatts interrupt! NO! Not this! And they all attack Cena for the DQ at 23:59. Sheamus and Bryan fight back, but the fresh men seem to have the edge. So does this mean the faces are in the Chamber? They're named the winners, after all. And yes, it's official: they're in! The Shield is FURIOUS. And this means the Shield/Wyatts brawl is likely on for the Chamber that we've been clamoring for since November. The Shield are, quite understandably, throwing a tantrum at ringside, and they tear up the table to make a statement. Wow – that's how you do a six-man and weave multiple stories together. ****1/4 for the whole thing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well, throughout the night I was telling my minions that the value of the night would be directly and absolutely linked to the main event. As you can see, I was immersed in the main event, which is a great sign. I'm glad to see Sheamus back – he's not a workrate machine, but he's a good power wrestler and the crowd loves him. And all the pieces are falling into place:

Not Daniel Bryan is going to face either Bryan or Orton for the gold;

If it's Orton, Bryan is going to get Triple H;

The Shield and Wyatts are set for their brawl, which will likely lead to the Reigns face turn;

The Wyatts still have the issue with Cena for THEIR Mania match;

And Brock Lesnar is still a Viking Space Lord.

We keep whining about the booking, but tonight they took a big step into making it right. Now Daniel Bryan has his chance – win or lose, he gets his chance, and that's what matters. The next few weeks show that the Road to Mania is when the WWE ups their game and really brings out the goods. We are in interesting times.

STATS:

MATCH TIME: 78:27 over eight matches

BEST MATCH: The Chamber qualifier

WORST MATCH: Usos/Rybaxil

NIGHT MVP: Daniel Bryan, just because the crowd said so.

FINAL RATING: 7.5.

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”

Okay, guys, enjoy the week. Scott and Tommy will keep the fires warm. I might come back with a retro review again. Enjoy the Super Bowl. See you Monday.