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The Bitchy Fan Vote


This may be the funniest thing I've read all year.  The bit about Chicago pizza killed me.  That and Boston sports fans.

But fuck anyone who bashes hockey.  It's all Gary Bettman's fault anyway.  

Comments

  1. Register on the official Chikara forum and try to say ONE thing negative about the company, especially the infamous shutdown angle that's finally ending and see how long it takes you to get attacked on all sided.

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  2. And then got really defensive when fans called him out on it.

    "Hey, I was supposed to squash him but I demanded a competitive match because I saw something in the kid!"

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  3. Sounds like a job for Super Chan. Up up and away troll!

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  4. Juggalos description was spot on.

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  5. Would have needed more Kane, Punk, and Cena. Also, HBK crying, and Vince "shooting" on HHH and telling him that he only became anybody in the company because H is fucking his daughter.

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  6. Or the fact it panders super hard to mega-nerds who giggle every time somebody says the word Firefly.


    Nerd humor is the worst.

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  7. Deal with it.

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  8. Am I blind or was wrestling fans not there?

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  9. Are you talking about Chikara itself or the forum?

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  10. Opponents did grab the tie and beal him sometimes.

    "HE'S GOT HIM BY THE TONGUE, MONSOON!"

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  11. I'm embarrassed about how many of those categories I fall into.

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  12. Not sure if it's good or bad wrestling didn't make the bracket (other than the CM Punk pic). Think it should have been a double-digit seed mostly because, even if you get someone to admit he/she is a wrestling fan (which, I, for example, do not always freely admit), you don't know whether it's someone who is a WWE fanboy, is an Attitude Era fanboy, is an old school fanboy, is a casua fans who can only name 4 wrestlers, hates John Cena and thinks the Rock is a sellout, hates part-timers, thinks the current product is boring, workrate fanboy, smark, etc.

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  13. They shouldn't be. I think we all don't really give a shit anymore about defending it to people who aren't fans.

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  14. I fall under Raider fan, MMA fan, Dylan Lover, and Video Gamer. I can't say I fall under the Comic Book fanboy banner because I really only read 2 comics.

    I'm assuming Dylan is here because of elitist-types. Video Gamers can be very bitchy so that belongs.

    I don't really think Raider fans fall under bitchy. We're more sadistic and weird than bitchy. Second, we deserve to bitch. 2 decades of mediocrity with a short 3 year span of quality.

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  15. But wrestling fans can be extremely bitchy. Isn't this what the bracket is about?

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  16. Wrestling fans are bitchy to other wrestling fans about shit within wrestling. Not really what the bracket is about.

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  17. Not related but holy shit Workaholics has gone downhill FAST. I used to love this show.

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  18. Chicagoans are so damn whiny about everything. The absolute worst are Bulls fans.

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  19. Raiders fans, much like Raptors and Bucks fans, are more gloomy and depressed than defensive. They've kinda resigned themselves to their fates.

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  20. Don't worry. We feel the same about you, no matter what team you root for.

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  21. It's what being an Oakland sports fan is all about. Raiders? Suck. A's? Great, but will ultimately fall short. Warriors? See A's.

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  22. I've never felt so perfectly summarized as a football fan in once sentence.

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  23. Your_Favourite_LoserMarch 19, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    i'm not a viewaskew fanboy but to say that kevin smith hasn't made a good movie in 19 years (i guess referring to mallrats) is just ignorant. dogma says hi

    (fuck chasing amy, though)

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  24. Nice Maggie Serota shoutout.

    Cards fans suck, Chicago is awesome and fuck R Kelly

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  25. Yeah, guys were always grabbing it or stepping on it. Heenan would ALWAYS use that line

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  26. Chikara itself. Really don't like the promotion or it's fans.

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  27. Yeah, sure, until somebody says the words "tuck rule".

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  28. Zack and Miri is awesome too

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  29. I agree. I'm not a diehard fan but I dig Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and Clerks II.

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  30. "which are translated for the benefit of the audience by John Cena, who fortunately “speaks masked luchador.”


    Must've picked some up from Juan.

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  31. No idea how much you're into females doing comedy, but the show that comes on after, Broad City is fucking hilarious.


    I look forward to it more than Workaholics and I love Workaholics.

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  32. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryMarch 20, 2014 at 2:23 AM

    I will say I did have a mark-out moment during the initial flashback where he makes his first appearance and they're as sick as him as every fan was.


    Ok, and the "Melvin Doo" brick joke did make me laugh.

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  33. It's Oakland fans in general really. They have such an inferiority toward SF sports fans that it's just sad.


    You have fun with that top 5 draft pick and I'll go over here and enjoy contending for a Super Bowl.

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  34. I'd make a prediction on final two, but it's so open, you could make a case for each.


    Apple fans should of been included in this though.

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  35. I love Broad City! The only reason I've kept up with Workaholics this season is because Broad City comes on right after.

    That open for Broad City tonight was a thing of beauty.

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  36. I'm a Raider fan whose entire family is 49ers fans so I'm probably a better sport about it than most Raider fans. "Just Win, Baby"=biggest crock of shit I've ever heard.

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  37. FUCKING RIGHT?! I was crying at that open, it was just a stroke of genius. I really hope they can keep up this momentum going into Season 2, this show has loads of potential.


    As for Workaholics, I'm hoping this season is just an anomaly. Many good-great comedies hit a wall for a season, some just sooner than others.

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  38. "Is he gonna wrestle wearing that? He looks like an accountant!" - Art Donovan

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  39. Like Greg Gagne?

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  40. Sounds about right... Bryan will be like Taker who won the match against HHH but had to be stretchered out. Then he no-shows his entrance for the main event due to injury but hobbles out mid-match a la Bret at Royal Rumble 1994 to a thunderous pop.

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  41. He's only into women who are all roided up and have a voice that can shrivel a man's balls.

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  42. Why exactly are Magic the Gathering fans awful? In my experience they're too busy selling internal organs for some of that cardboard crack to actually harass people.


    And Magic has some awesome art, so from that perspective, fuck these guys for putting them up there.

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  43. Magary is solid. His book is a good read. Interesting glimpse into fatherhood

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  44. Does Bret Hart being his own biggest fan count?

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  45. Well to be fair... I'm a Patriots fan, and even *I* thought the Raiders got screwed on that one.

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  46. R Kelly gave us the Chappelle "pee on you" skit. And "you remind me of my jeep".

    Eternal love after those 2 contributions to society

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  47. Everything about Magic the Gathering is awful

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  48. Blue jay fans this year are a bunch of whiners. Already saying they are finished and rogers is cheap for not paying ervin santana 14 mil (despite the fact ervin almost did sign with us).

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  49. Yep, I read the entire bracket twice just to make sure, and no "Wrestling fans" bracket = Cred Loss.

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  50. After 27 I was scared to buy 28. I don't feel like I missed out though.

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  51. The new Sin Cara speaks English.

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  52. Man I really can't stand any of these groups other than the ones that I fit into.

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  53. ...If Scott is correct here I would buy the WM replay on PPV at least twice...and I have the network to begin with!

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  54. We're gonna keep track of this, Right?

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  55. Dogma says hi from 15 years ago.

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  56. AverageJoeEverymanMarch 20, 2014 at 7:31 AM

    I like the Raiders but their fans are very "NFL conspiracy, NFL conspiracy, NFL conspiracy" types. Obviously trickled down from Al. Now once again I like the Raiders, their image, logo, and awesome old NFL Films but I can see where this comes from.

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  57. Eh, Chicagoans is the only one of these things I'm even close to being and I still found this annoying. I love Magary, but his entire work outside the Funbag has basically devolved into an extended Hater's Guide to Everything. The schtick is getting old.

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  58. The skunk scene last night was way too gross.

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  59. I was kind of with them until the Redskins name changing thing. It's a racist term. Change it already.

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  60. I'm right there with ya!

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  61. See, just a minute ago, we were all buddy-buddy hating on anti-vaccinations folk, and then you had to go and say that.

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  62. Loving the irony of an over-the-top bitchy tone presented in a column about how bitchy everyone else is. For anyone who didn't bother reading it (wise choice), I'll sum it up for you: "Everyone sucks, except me."

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  63. Holy shit magic cards are still a thing!!! Lol that was shit worth bulling over years ago when I was in middle school. Can't believe its still around

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  64. I can't stand most of the ones I do fit into!

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  65. That's kind of Deadspin's schtick. Cognitive dissonance, man.

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  66. I think those arguing to keep the name are actually way bitchier. Maybe that's what they meant?

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  67. I've moved on to playing the game on my iPad. I'm not collecting cards or buying new ones, just playing with the sets that are provided. Before I found the app, I hadn't played in years.

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  68. It would be a hot opener but you'd think HHH would want to be higher up the card. Also, in storyline terms HHH should be making it hard as possible for Bryan to win the belt so back-to-back matches would ensure that. But now HHH is in the match I guess he'd want a rest before joining the main event so it could make sense to have it early.

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  69. Haha, dissension in the ranks.

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  70. I think the Juggaloes could win it all. Just ridiculous idiots all around.

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  71. Your_Favourite_LoserMarch 20, 2014 at 10:00 AM

    THATS WHAT I SAID, BRAH

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  72. Your_Favourite_LoserMarch 20, 2014 at 10:01 AM

    i hear they made a porno

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  73. Your_Favourite_LoserMarch 20, 2014 at 10:01 AM

    i know! they also bitch about having to face their bosses in the ring and end up walking out with no notice

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  74. Your_Favourite_LoserMarch 20, 2014 at 10:02 AM

    i bet farva has something to say about chicagoans

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  75. Haven't people been raving about Red State, too? That's A LOT more recent.

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  76. They've been in a rut since the last half of season 3 but I hope they can recover. Season 3 had some of my favorite episodes(Real Time, Business Trip)

    Are you watching Brooklyn Nine Nine? That show totally blew away all my expectations. I can't stand Samburg but that show is great.

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  77. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryMarch 20, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    Thats what they meant, theyve been railing Snyder and his paid-off not-even-Native-American "Indian" Redskin supporters since last summer.

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  78. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryMarch 20, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    Fans definitely deserve to be in there. Or at very least, New Yorkers.

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  79. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryMarch 20, 2014 at 10:58 AM

    Plus, he was never gonna stay in the AL, he gets lit up every other year. Blue Jays have the offense to compete, but their starting pitching getting wrecked by injury every year is like a Spinal Tap running joke by now.

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  80. I agree last years opening day projected starting lineup (pitchers and hitters) only played 7 games together last year. They tried to wait out the market and it almost worked for them in regards to Santana. But I don't think he makes us a contender anyways. Plus he would get killed at the skydome like you said.

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  81. I don't hate that HHH won, I just hate that Backlash was what WM should have been.

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  82. I just watched it. Its spectacular and ridiculous (and basically one long potshot at CM Punk), and also there's a stealth cameo for Young Justice fans.

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  83. They should have had Bundy pin Hogan during the buildup to Wrestlemania 2 but demand a 5 count and have Hogan kick out before the 5 count... then build the whole feud around that.

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  84. So what business decision would you make in this situation? Its not hard.

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  85. If they're actually going to build the show in hopes of launching Daniel Bryan as good as they possibly can... this is the only way to get him monster reactions for both his entrances.


    It's best for business, Jack.

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