Monday Nitro #185
Date: April 19, 1999
Location:
O'Connell Center, Gainsville, Florida
Attendance: 8,567
Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We're getting closer to
Slamboree and the main event is set with Page defending against Nash.
Other than that we have the further exploits of the NWO as things
fall apart with Hogan nowhere in sight. Savage and Sting are still
running around and feuding with Flair so it's hard to say what's
coming tonight. Let's get to it.
We open with Goldberg
arriving and carrying a briefcase. He says it's him vs. Page for the
title tonight.
Ricki
Rachman and DJ Ran do their thing.
Nitro Girls.
Scott
Armstrong/Steve Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit
This
should be good. Benoit and Scott get things going and of course
Charles Robinson is referee. They speed things up to start with
Scott ducking a chop but getting taken down with a very crisp
armdrag. A quick tag brings in Steve who cleans house and stomps
away on Benoit. The Horsemen get Steve out to the floor though and
the triple teaming is on. Back in and Malenko nails a low dropkick
to the side of Steve's head and the stomping continues.
Benoit
takes his head off with a clothesline for two as a LOUD Goldberg
chant starts up. Malenko comes back in and hammers away in the
corner before Anderson helps with even more cheating. Robinson
allows the Horsemen to change without a tag to Arn's approval.
Benoit finally charges into a boot but still won't allow the tag off
to Scott. Dean comes back in but walks into a double clothesline,
finally setting up the hot tag. Scott comes in and everything breaks
down. Dean jumps over Scott in the corner and powerbombs him down
into the Cloverleaf for the submission.
Rating:
C+.
This was the best opening match they've had in a good while. The
Armstrongs are guys that can wrestle with anyone so if you give them
a pair of technicians like Malenko and Benoit it's bound to be good.
More importantly than that though, the brothers kept working the
whole time they were getting squashed. It's so annoying to see
someone just laying on the mat instead of trying to get the tag or
doing anything other than just laying around.
Georgia, the woman that
gave Flair papers that he signed without looking at them on Thunder,
gives them to Piper. Roddy looks very pleased.
Opening sequence.
Savage
and Gorgeous George arrive but Doug Dillinger won't let them in.
Piper comes up and says he's the Commissioner so they need to be let
in. Dillinger reluctantly agrees.
Gene
brings out DDP for a chat. Page starts by wishing Hogan the best
with his knee surgery. The fans are already chanting for Goldberg.
Page says Goldberg needs to get focused like he's been. Both guys
know what it's like to grab the brass ring because Page is World
Champion right now.
Page
sees a lot of Goldberg in himself and there's nothing he would like
more than to put the title on the line tonight....but that's not
going to happen. This brings out Goldberg who gets right in Page's
face. Apparently Page agrees to put the title on the line tonight.
Goldberg's music hit and he was out of the ring in less than a
minute. So why did Page say no in the first place if he would agree
that fast?
Piper is in the back
with David Flair and says Ric needs help. They talk about him being
put under observation for 72 hours and David agrees before signing
the papers Piper was given earlier.
Page
comes up to Gene in the back and confirms the title is on the line.
Gene isn't done yet though and shows us the clip from Spring Stampede
of Page injuring Hogan. We don't actually see Page's reaction to it
or anything, but why would that be interesting?
Cruiserweight Title:
Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman vs. Blitzkrieg
Mysterio
is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The fans really odn't
seem to like Psychosis or Blitzkrieg. We cut to the front row and
see a man all in black with a mohawk hair cut and jewelery on his
fingers that look like claws. Tony recognizes him as Alex Wright,
which is very impressive detective work on his part as Wright looks
completely different and is wearing big sunglasses.
It's a big brawl to
start with only Juvy and Psychosis left standing. Blitzkrieg avoids
a charge to send Psychosis hard into the post. Juvy loads up a
powerbomb on Psychosis for a springboard seated senton from Rey.
Guerrera backdrops Mysterio out to the floor and holds up Blitzkrieg
for a missile dropkick from Psychosis. Blitzkrieg escapes another
powerbomb attempt and causes Juvy to accidentally hit a top rope
Fameasser on Psychosis.
Rey
is back in with a split legged moonsault to Juvy but Psychosis takes
over and throw Guerrera into the air for a big crash. Blitzkrieg and
Rey knock the other two to the floor before hitting a pair of Asai
moonsaults. Back in and Blitzkrieg hits some standing flips onto Rey
for two as Juvy and Psychosis are trying to get back in. Guerrera is
back up first with a springboard missile dropkick to Blitzkrieg's
back, leaving him alone with Rey.
A
quick hurricanrana puts Guerrera down and a slingshot splash gets
two. Psychosis and Rey take turns breaking up pins by hitting each
other in the face. Things settle down with Juvy bulldogging Rey for
two before calling for the Juvy Driver. Instead it's a kind of
reverse DDT but Psychosis comes in with a top rope splash for two on
the champion. Mysterio's top rope bulldog puts Psychosis down and we
have to take a break.
Back
with Juvy hitting a huge dive onto Blitzkrieg and Psychosis. Rey
goes outside as well but Psychosis pops up and dives onto all three
of them. Back in and Rey powerbombs Juvy for two but Psychosis makes
a save. Blitzkrieg busts out a very quick Figure Four to Psychosis,
only to have Juvy make the save and drop a guillotine legdrop on
Psychosis for two. Juvy powerbombs Blitzkrieg but Rey gets the cover
for two. Mysterio hurricanranas Juvy off the top and Psychosis
steals two of his own.
Blitzkrieg can't get a
jawbreaker on Juvy so Rey dropkicks Guerrera to the floor instead.
Rey makes the mistake of posing instead of covering, allowing Juvy to
try a powerbomb out of the corner. That's fine with Rey as he
hurricanranas Guerrera again. Juvy pops back up and snaps Mysterio
across the top for two more. Psychosis clotheslines Juvy to the
floor but Blitzkrieg kicks him in the face.
A
slam sets up the Phoenix Splash for two on Psychosis but this time
it's Juvy making the save and Juvy Drivering Blitzkrieg for two. Rey
comes back in and hurricanranas Guerrera out to the floor. Psychosis
breaks up a Blitzkrieg superplex attempt and drops the guillotine
legdrop for the pin and the title in a shocker.
Rating:
B+.
WHAT A MATCH! I don't ever remember a cruiserweight match going this
long (over twenty one minutes) and there is something going on for
the entirety of the time. Usually there's the period where things
cool down but they never reached that point here. Psychosis winning
is a big surprise and the match was very entertaining. Great stuff.
Gene
brings out Flair for a chat. Ric, in a University of Florida shirt,
seems very happy to be in Gainesville. He talks about students
thinking they can out drink him and offers to buy each one of them a
drink. Before he can get any further he's interrupted by Roddy
Piper. Ric wants to know why Piper always has to ruin his good time
but Piper cuts him off and says Flair is becoming the Dennis Rodman
of WCW.
He
brings up Flair signing papers and offering to buy kids drinks.
Somehow this makes him insane and unfit to be President of WCW.
Piper is treating this like something serious instead of over the top
like it should be. Flair starts dancing and throws his shoes into
the crowd. Roddy brings up Flair handcuffing himself to the ropes to
fight Bischoff from a few months back so Flair strips off his clothes
to reveal Florida boxers.
Ric
says his first crazy thing and says he's President of the United
States. Robinson brings out Flair's robe as Piper has Gene read the
papers. Basically they say Flair is nuts and that he's out of office
pending a review of his competence. Flair fires Piper and gives
Florida the National Championship from Tennessee.
It's
time for more dancing so Piper says that the paper Flair signed last
week made Flair vs. Nash (who went to the University of Tennessee in
a nice touch) tonight. So he's crazy but allowed to wrestle?
Anderson faints in the corner for a few seconds but Flair makes
himself vs. Piper for the Presidency at Slamboree and if Piper loses
he's fired.
This
segment was a mess and really doesn't make sense. The problem comes
down to Flair not being insane until just now, and it's a stretch
even at this point. Anderson and Heenan made it clear that Flair
taking off his clothes and spending a fortune is Flair being himself.
That's very true and we've seen him do exactly that for well over
ten years.
Yeah
Flair has been a bit out there with stuff like signing papers without
looking, but going from that to having him committed in four days is
a really big jump for this story. It makes the whole thing seem
stupid and they could have gotten to the Piper vs. Flair match for
control without it. The fact that this is setting up Roddy Piper vs.
Ric Flair in a major match on PPV makes things even worse as you can
almost hear the fans groan when Piper is mentioned anymore.
The
Black and White tells Konnan they're looking for Nash but Konnan says
he has nothing to do with Nash anymore. This earns him a beatdown.
Konnan was scheduled to fight for the US Title later in the night.
DJ Ran and Nitro Girls.
The announcers hype up
the World Title match and they actually have a graphic for it. The
shot of the belt on Page's shoulder looks horrible as he's not even
touching it.
Brian
Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak
This
is a garbage can match or something like that. Brian hammers Hak
with a can as he comes in but Chastity slides in some extra weapons
for them to use. We get a Pit Stop for old times' sake and Hak is
sent out to the floor. Hak sends him into the post and a cameraman
goes down. It's already table time but Knobbs nails him in the back
with a chair.
Hak
comes back with a ladder as you can barely see the mat at this point.
There's no wrestling in between these spots. Hak bulldogs him onto
the ladder and sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He
misses a Swanton though and mostly breaks the table to give Brian a
two count. We get the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot to put Hak
down but Chasitity takes Knobbs' kendo stick away. Not that it
matters as a pair of trashcan shots is enough to pin Hak.
Rating:
D-.
Remember the good tag match and the really good four way? This was
nothing like those matches. As is usually the case with these
things, the best part of it was it only ran about seven minutes. On
the other hand, I could have spent those seven minutes doing
something more constructive, like ripping my fingernails out with
rusty pliers.
More DJ Ran because WCW
doesn't understand wrestling fans.
Nitro Girls.
Randy Savage has a
present for Gorgeous George: Madusa, who is here to train her for
Slamboree.
Nash
comes in to see the Black and White and ask about what happened with
Konnan. Stevie says they know what Nash has been doing and won't be
taking it anymore. Nash leaves, saying the team doesn't want this.
They're going to send Norton to take care of Steiner tonight.
Buff
Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno
Buff
talks about how bad Scott Steiner thinks he is and rips off his
catchphrases. Disco stomps him down in the corner to start but gets
caught by a clothesline. Bagwell chokes Disco with his own shirt
before working on a wristlock. A dropkick puts Inferno on the floor
and Buff does his strut.
Disco
comes back in and is quickly hiptossed right back to the floor. He
tries to get back in again and actually shows some intelligence by
snapping Buff's throat across the top rope. Disco starts going after
the neck as we stop to look at Alex Wright again. Bagwell avoids a
middle rope elbow and makes his quick comeback, only to get crotched
on the top. The Last Dance is countered and Buff tries (and fails) a
running Blockbuster for the pin.
Rating:
D+.
This was another good win for Bagwell as they actually seem to be
building up a young guy for a change. I can't imagine it's for
anything more than feeding him to Steiner but it's nice while it
lasts. Bagwell really needs to stick with the middle rope version of
the Blockbuster though as it looks about 8000% better.
Here's
Scott Steiner with a group of women because Godfather was a hot act
around this time. After some catchphrases, Steiner gets right to it
with talking down Bagwell and mentioning Buff's history as a male
stripper. He goes on about it for awhile and says the NWO made
Bagwell. The fans chant steroids and there's no Norton as promised
by the Black and White. Not only are the boring and losers, but they
can't tell the truth about their sneak attacks announced on national
TV. What is the world coming to?
Video
on Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.
Nitro Girls.
DJ Ran for the third or
so time tonight.
Recap of the
Flair/Piper stuff from earlier.
Kidman vs. Raven
Raven
starts off aggressively but gets taken down by a headscissors. He
pops back up and suddenly feels like trying a powerbomb. Kidman is
lucky that his opponents always want to use that move even though
they never do otherwise. After the faceplant, Raven sends Kidman out
to the floor and throws in a chair. The drop toehold sends Kidman
face first into the steel and Raven drops a leg onto the chair onto
Kidman's head for good measure. Kidman shoves Raven off the top but
the Shooting Star hits the chair. The Horsemen come in for the DQ,
even though Raven matches are supposed to be non-title.
Mysterio
makes the save for his partner and the Horsemen run. Saturn decks
Mysterio but gets sent down with a headscissors. Rey gets
superkicked but Kidman powerbombs Saturn down. Raven Evenflows
Kidman but the Horsemen run back in for the big beatdown.
More of Piper/Flair.
US Title: Scott
Steiner vs. Scott Norton
So
apparently the Black and White can just make US Title matches at
their whim. Steiner is defending of course. After the champion
finishes posing, the battle of clubbing forearms begin. Norton runs
the champ down with some shoulders and a big clothesline sends him
outside. More stalling ensues until Norton drags him back into the
ring for some right hands in the corner. Steiner finally sends him
to the floor and then into the barricade.
Back
in and Steiner gets his required steroids chant. Steiner charges
into a boot in the corner and Norton hammers away before getting two
off a side slam. Norton loads up the shoulder breaker but the
referee gets bumped. A low blow and belly to belly suplex retain
Steiner's title. Steiner's feet on the ropes helped too.
Rating:
D.
I had a feeling this wasn't going to be much of a power brawl.
Norton was wrestling like a face here and it worked on a kind of
weird level. Steiner's mega push continues as his in ring ability
continues to deteriorate every single week. Granted putting him in
there with a one dimensional guy like Norton wasn't the best idea.
DJ
Ran AGAIN. We get it already.
Kevin Nash vs. Ric
Flair
Before
the match, Nash promises to get revenge on Page for Hogan. Naturally
Robinson, with what looks like a Horsemen sticker on his shirt, is
refereeing. Nash shoves Flair down before the bell and Flair is
ready to go. Flair tries some shoulder blocks to as much success as
you would expect. Back up and Nash knees him into the corner and
nails the backdrop. Nash even mocks Flair slicking back his hair as
Ric bails to the floor.
Naitch
slows things down a bit so Nash busts out a headlock of all things.
They trade shots in the corner and there's another backdrop to Flair.
A big shot in the corner gives us the Flair Flop and there's the
framed elbow. Anderson finally gets involved by tripping up Nash and
helping Flair crotch him against the post. Back in and Anderson just
gets in the ring to help Flair double team. We get the old “how
much time” bit from Flair and Nash goes down to a low blow.
Flair
hammers away in the corner while calling Nash Tennessee. Anderson
interferes again but Nash comes back with a right hand and the side
slam. Flair heads to the apron and gets clotheslined out to the
floor. For some reason he tries to come back in off the top and you
know what's coming. Anderson tries to come in but gets kicked in the
face for his efforts. There go the straps and Flair gets
powerbombed, sending Robinson to the floor instead of counting.
Gorgeous George comes out and takes his referee shirt to count the
pin on Flair. Because that's how WCW works anymore.
Rating:
C-.
It was Flair vs. Nash so you knew it was going to be at least
watchable. The overbooking made sense here and Robinson just walking
out was a nice touch. The ending on the other hand was stupid but
exactly what you would expect from WCW at this point: someone just
deciding they're a referee and having their pin count. I mean,
people can make US Title matches so why not this?
Post
match Flair is taken out on a stretcher by people in white coats.
Yep, they're really doing this. Piper shows up to talk some trash as
Flair is loaded into the van. Somehow Anderson doesn't get what's
going on.
Dusty
Rhodes joins commentary for no apparent reason.
WCW World Title:
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg
Page
is defending of course. The referee gets shoved down and we're ready
to go. Page charges at Goldberg and gets shoved down as well. Back
up and Page is thrown to the floor where he stops to take a breather.
He gets back in and tries the Diamond Cutter but is quickly sent
back to the floor. A leg trip doesn't even get one on Goldberg who
hits a kind of AA into a cross armbreaker, sending Page into the
ropes.
Page's
shoulder block has no effect and the spear connects out of nowhere.
He goes to pick Page up for the Jackhammer but the champ sends him
face first into the middle buckle instead. A swinging neckbreaker
gets two for Page and a belly to belly suplex gets the same.
Goldberg gets caught in a front facelock but he powers up into a kind
of powerslam for two. Another Diamond Cutter attempt is countered
into another powerslam and Goldberg is getting frustrated.
Page
neckbreakers him for two but misses the discus lariat. A superkick
puts Page into the corner and Goldberg loads up the spear but the
champ is smart enough to just stay right where he is. Goldberg tries
the spear anyway and hits the buckle. The Diamond Cutter connects
but Goldberg kicks him off hard enough to send him onto the referee.
Page loads up a foreign object but stops to use the referee as a
shield for the spear.
The
Jackhammer connects but there's no referee. Page gets up and nails
Goldberg with the foreign object to knock him out to the floor. He
loads up the steps next to Goldberg and crushes the ankle with a
chair. The referee wakes up and tries to stop Page, earning him a
right hand to the face. Page loads up the Figure Four around the
post but Nash makes the save for no apparent reason other than the
script says so. He helps Goldberg into the ring but Page nails Nash
with the belt to end the show.
Rating:
C+.
This was actually a good match until the screwy ending. These two
have some solid chemistry together and can put on a good match with
the right amount of time. Goldberg kicking out of the Diamond Cutter
as strong as he did was a surprise and the ending was.....well I'll
get back to that. The match was good though.
Overall
Rating: C+.
You know if you just go by the wrestling, this was one of the best
Nitros in a very long time. The Cruiserweight Title match was
outstanding and the main event was solid too. You couple that with
some other good to watchable stuff in between and write off the
non-wrestling that was Hak vs. Knobbs and you have one heck of a
show.
Unfortunately
this heck of a show has an 800lb gorilla right in the middle of it
and a 300lb orangutan at the end. We'll start with the slightly
better one first. Page and Nash's double turn is acceptable as Nash
has basically been a face for months now and Page....yeah it really
doesn't work. Much like the Flair stuff, it was just setting down
its roots when they jumped it forward to the end goal.
One
of WCW's biggest problems at the moment is its lack of top faces.
There's Sting, Nash, Piper (oh joy) and in theory Savage, though he's
just a glorified manager right now. Nash becoming the top guy is
fine enough, but it brings up the obvious question: if he wins the
title, why should I believe he's going to hang onto it? It may sound
like a stupid question but the Fingerpoke was less than four months
prior to this. It's not out of the question.
That
leaves us with the big problem with this show: Ric Flair, the
fourteen time World Heavyweight Champion and the President of WCW was
put in a white van and taken away to a mental hospital after
apparently thinking he was President of the United States due to what
could easily be written off as a slip of the tongue. Aside from what
was just mentioned, the fact that it sets up Piper vs. Flair in 1999,
how out of character it is for Flair and how much of a stretch this
is, it's not even a well told story.
From
what we can tell, David Flair and Piper decided to have Flair
institutionalized because he signed a single contract for a match
without looking at it. Yeah it's stupid but it's not really grounds
for being institutionalized. Just writing that and reading it back
makes me realize it's even worse. Ric Flair is being put in a mental
hospital. Let it sink in for a second. This is a really bad idea
and unfortunately it's the first step off a cliff for WCW. Things
were getting stupid before, but now they're flying into the abyss.
Somehow
though, the show was actually good for the most part. The
Flair/Piper stuff is horrible but it's only a part of what is
otherwise a really good show. That's what makes WCW so frustrating:
they have the tools and ability to have a good product, but they do
things like have a DJ in the arena (because I guess a professional
wrestling show just isn't entertaining enough) and the hardcore
nonsense drags all the good stuff down.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
YESTERDAY was calling for him to resign too.
ReplyDeleteThat's Bill Murrays bro? Holy shit!
ReplyDeleteSadly, my subscription runs to the end of October.
ReplyDeleteWell since we are sounding like Jim ross....
ReplyDeleteNOOOOO DAMMIT! Not this way!
Goodell is DONE.
ReplyDeleteI said this awhile ago but I'm glad the WBC exists to push the boundaries of free speech. I'm also glad people make barricades to block the protests from sight of a funeral.
ReplyDeleteBut still its super important to make sure the most awful types of speech get protected.
I'm not. Why do people continue to give the WBC attention? It's what they want. Why can't people learn to ignore them?
ReplyDeleteI like the Christians that kidnap people ans chop their heads off on video. Oh and the ones that kill people who make cartoons about Jesus, them too.
ReplyDeleteHey wait a second...
HE GONE!
ReplyDeleteIf I was a teen today, I would pick Sofia Vergara. As a kid growing up the hottest mom was Barbara Eden (I Dream Of Jeanie) and she still looked hot on Harper Valley PTA. Runnerups would be Mrs Keaton (Family Ties), Mrs Arnold (Wonder Years), Claire Huxtable (Cosby Show) and Samantha Stevens (Bewitched).
ReplyDeleteShe also changed a LOT during the course of the show - she was going through some sort of illness, that very noticeably altered her appearance.
ReplyDeleteStill, tall and thick, good combo.
Have you ever seen a troll get ignored on message board or this blog? Trolling is effective.
ReplyDeleteI think that's a bit of a stretch.
ReplyDeleteYou can PUT HIM ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.........YES!
ReplyDeleteThere's only one correct answer: Claudia Finnerty (played by Megyn Price) on "Grounded For Life".
ReplyDeletehttps://www.google.com/search?q=claudia+finnerty&biw=800&bih=481&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=EsYQVL7FBoLwgwTe6oKgAw&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#tbm=isch&q=claudia+finnerty
Pro wrestlers get the worst of both worlds. What an awful system
ReplyDeleteAccording to many of them, the world is like 5000 years old and old dinosaur fossils were planted by the Devil
ReplyDeleteOh absolutely. But WBC has been trolling people for 10 years. We get it. They hate fags, and like dead soldiers. Let's move on.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I do find their family dynamic to be endlessly fascinating and relish watching docs on the family.
I would probably cry tears of joy if he resigned.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I hate Goodell and not Bud Selig is the former comes off as a prick while the latter just is a goof that loves baseball.
ReplyDeleteSelig is awful but he never went out of his way to fuck over a team in a pathetic attempt to show that he cared about player safety despite ample evidence to the contrary.
ReplyDeleteRoger Goodell's words to Saints regarding bounty gate.."ignorance is not an excuse"
ReplyDeleteFuck you, you piece of shit
I can't say I'm a fan of either movie but at least with avengers/iron man RDJs tony stark is interesting and fun to watch. Its when he puts on the suit and fights I kind of lose interest.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand, protecting felons from media scrutiny is his entire gig, what did he do wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhat's his obsession with Baltimore? He's an ass and a sicko.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree. This was funny. Tasteless, but funny
ReplyDeleteThe pink washing next month is going to be nauseating
ReplyDeleteBig Dougie has been trolling this blog for almost that long and everyone still bites including me. I think people like to get riled up deep down inside.
ReplyDeleteI also find their family dynamic fascinating (and hysterically hypocritical). I actually like them because they push the boundaries of free speech for everyone and they highlight how dumb all religion is. Plus its somewhat inspiring to see groups of volunteers go make human blockades so funerals can't see them.
Amen. We expect more out of Goddell than we do politicians and law enforcement. Our value system is seriously screwed when we expect the NFL to guide our inner moral compass.
ReplyDeleteYup, this is a guy who has held himself out to be holier than thou the whole time. I didn't even mind the initial two game suspension because it was consistent with the punishment from a court of law. But to flat out lie about not seeing the tape when your this "law and order sheriff"...fuck off Goodell
ReplyDeleteIt took eight months to convince Congress to look into Enron, it took them 48 hours to decide something needed to be done about the "CEO" of a sport full of felons not caring about felonious behavior.
ReplyDeleteIf Goodell leaves then what changes? As far as I can remember NFL players have been committing felonies. Hell, we cheer them on as they commit them every Sunday.
ReplyDeleteNope, the moment my subscription ran out, it was gone.
ReplyDeleteTwo games for knocking out your fiancee v. 16 games for enjoying a little weed v. 0 games for Spygate v. 16 games for not doing anything while your defensive coordinator offers incentives for big players v. 16 games for being the one to run the bounty programa.
ReplyDeleteGoodell
Dunno. That guy yesterday who went apeshit here would probably know...either that, or he did his own Michael Hutchence style after that bit.
ReplyDeleteSerious answer? Some new guy comes in, does a few "don't knock your wife the fuck out" PSA spots, everything continues exactly the same as it was two days ago.
ReplyDeleteOnly nice boys can play football, and let's not have them tackle to hard
ReplyDeleteHe did fuck over the Astros in order to ensure that the Brewers made the Wild card instead during Hurricane Ike 6 years ago, but not too mad about that, because if he hadn't, Cecil Cooper might still be the manager.
ReplyDeleteexactly. We will all forget about domestic violence like we've just forgotten about Ferguson and police brutality.
ReplyDeleteI heard they replaced Ferguson with James Corden actually.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we have a commissioner who doesn't decide to be judge, jury and executioner. Maybe we have a commissioner who doesn't launch a flawed investigation, suspending players and coaches and taking away draft picks, all based on unsubstantiated evidence that was refuted under oath.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we have a commissioner that cares about the NFL's female fanbase.
Maybe we have a commissioner who does away with the NFL's draconian drug laws.
Maybe we have a commissioner that does something about sports teams continuing to rape municipalities all to get a new stadium they don't need that will never deliver promised economic incentives.
Maybe we have a commissioner who doesn't call for player safety when introducing a full slate of Thursday night games and forcing players to play in England.
Maybe we have a commissioner who doesn't talk openly of an 18 game season despite calling for player safety.
Maybe we have a commissioner who doesn't blatantly lie about concussions and the NFL's knowledge of concussions.
Maybe we have a commissioner that doesn't kill ESPN's involvement in a documentary about concussions.
America! Land of the free, home of the brave!
ReplyDeleteuntil the next hot button issue.
ReplyDelete"Maybe we have a commissioner who doesn't blatantly lie about concussions and the NFL's knowledge of concussions."
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
In a perfect world yeah, but collectively we don't have the attention span to force them to do these things.
ReplyDeleteThis Ray Rice thing is not going away. It's a shame people let him off the hook for Bountygate, but the NFL was smart enough to get ahead on that one
ReplyDeleteIt just keeps working for some reason, I'm praying this will be like SiriusXM and I just never have to pay again for the rest of my life lol.
ReplyDeleteIt will go away. Not in a week or two but we will get bored with this and move on to the next thing. Ferguson, Trayvon Martin, whatever else
ReplyDeleteGoodell deciding one week YOU CAN'T HIT LIKE THAT is another one of his black marks against the game.
ReplyDeleteDefensive players don't know what they can do and what's legal and what's not legal. 15-yard penalties are seemingly decided at random.
We were spoiled by Tags.
Man I think the forums are stupid too but making a point of posing up to share that at every opportunity is utterly sad behavior
ReplyDeleteAt the time, I thought Flair being in a mental ward was funny.
ReplyDeleteOh, I agree with that. Football provides a way out of a lot of kids (And, more to the point, those kids' parents), and as long as that is the case, parents will allow their sons to play. I've always thought the more likely scenario for football dying is the sport being crippled by some legislation coming from an over-zealous politician, more than parents pulling their kids.
ReplyDeleteAh, that would make more sense.
ReplyDeleteI've never played fantasy hockey before, but I've crushed you guys at the other sports, so why not? I'll send my email when I get off work, but hold a spot for me, Bayless
ReplyDeleteI find my occassional venting at trolls to be quite therapeutic. Mainly because it's socially frowned upon to vent at stupid customers.
ReplyDeleteWhat is? The gay sign? Ray Rice Saga?
ReplyDeleteMoe Szyslak is a better liar than Goodell. This is redefining clusterfuck
ReplyDeleteBatista not coming back until next year. Duh.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the date, all I could think was that was one day before the Columbine shootings. Weird it's been so long now.
ReplyDeleteDo remember who (not literally) signs the commish's checks, before you get too optimistic.
ReplyDeleteIf Brock stuck around another year, I think he would of feuded with Batista at least.
ReplyDeleteI'm at work til nine tonight. Fairly glad because I would probably be drawn to watching this horseshit about this piece of garbage Goodell.
ReplyDeleteNothing makes me want to read an article more than a guy shitting on his own title.
ReplyDeleteI've had it on in my cubicle all day. Haven't seen this many twists in a story since I marathoned LOST
ReplyDeleteWhen you taint The Shield more than Seth Rollins, it's time for you to go
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame. Well, COULDNT HAPPEN TO A NICER GUY
ReplyDeleteThe first game became a blow out quite early and by the time the second game started, Raw was pretty much over.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your comment, but then I thought about how Samoa Joe went there and I got pissed at how he didn't become the next big thing.
ReplyDeleteFucking TNA
In fairness, Gordon smoked a lot of weed.
ReplyDeleteNo problem
ReplyDeleteAnd that PPV match should have big time entrances and introductions.
ReplyDeleteYou created UGHW? That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteEverything moves a lot faster now. I've been spending a lot of time watching matches and angles from the Backlund era and angles took a lot longer to play out. Between the TV taping cycles, the time it takes to go around the loop, the availability of talent, the lack of internet spoilers (that was a big factor in those days, thus an angle could play out multiple times in multiple cities) it could take 3-6 months until the blow off of an angle. Plus the majority of the roster, particularly the heels, doesn't stick around much past the angle they came in for since they just go to another territory. So you could have someone like a Greg Valentine come in for a WWF Title program every 2 or 3 years and it's fresh every time. Even with the advent of the Intercontinental title someone could still stay relevant after their WWF title program by competing for the secondary championship (see Ken Patera or Greg Valentine). With the over-saturation it's easy to get burned out of both the characters and the angles. Plus there's a lot more impatience among both the fans and the WWE writers and executives. Nowadays you either get pushed out of the gate or you get lost in the shuffle. With the devaluing of the secondary titles, competing for them is seen as a step down instead of a way to maintain an aura competitiveness. WWE creative just needs a massive overhall.
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time any WWE heel acted like a heel?
ReplyDeleteThen for once try to be a bigger person, and don't watch football.
ReplyDeleteRay Rice.
ReplyDeleteCostas said he's only gone if they can prove he saw the tape
ReplyDeleteSo long as BOXING still exists, football has nothing to worry about.
ReplyDeleteMillions of little kids don't start boxing at age 8 .
ReplyDeleteI don't think Christian would have ever got a World title run if there was only one top championship. Christian won the B championship on the B show, mostly as a reward for years of service. Also, I think he'd make a great color commentator, or a chickenshit heel authority figure.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for offending you good sir. I will attempt to keep my opinions private going forward, but that will be tough. Please allow me to slip up once in a while, for I am only human.
ReplyDeleteBoxing barely exists anymore. When the current crop of legit stars (and it's a tiny crop) retires/dies/gets sent to prison for life, boxing as we know it will disappear because there's no one left to fill their shoes.
ReplyDeleteBayless was right. O'Haire did kill himself. Sad.
ReplyDeleteActually, didn't all the Golden Girls have at least one kid? Soooooooooooo....
ReplyDeleteThe mom on the Nick show "Big Time Rush". Damn.
ReplyDeleteI didn't say every eight year old plays football, I said everyone starts at age 8, which was just to make a point.
ReplyDeleteMeaning, eight year olds in 1984 or eight year olds in 2014, they all started at age 8 (or 9 or 12, pick a number the number doesn't actually matter to the point)
Too bad she won't sell your attraction to her now.
ReplyDeleteThe mark of a terrible game is one that has to have rule changes every year to stay "competitive."
ReplyDeleteFootball has been changing the rules every off season for decades and decades.
Scott Hudson agreed with you!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be off just in time for Impact!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, PEARL FORRESTER. More the Sci-Fi era, naturally. Was it me or did she get more attractive playing the head villain?
ReplyDeleteThis story doesn't even survive to Saturday.
ReplyDeleteI thought "King of Queens" was always the example used in Ugly Guy Hot Wife.
ReplyDeleteShe also got work done
ReplyDeleteSolid, solid choice. Kids show moms seem hotter than prime time moms. The Suite Life Mom was ok, but not into short hair much.
ReplyDeleteI just considered this, I've always figured concussions would kill it but wasn't sure either:
ReplyDeleteWhat about high school liability? A couple fat lawsuits for brain damage as a result of hits incurred while under the care of the state, boom, completely tax-based scouting system for private corporate entities is gone, game over.
Or they'll just have a Benoit at some point, that could work too.
I'm referring to who would replace Goodell... he might be WORSE.
ReplyDeleteNever saw it with her. Maybe being in proximity to Tina Yothers made all the females on that show less attractive. Was that mean?
ReplyDeleteI've been watching my account like a freakin' hawk for just that reason, I'm on like week #3 for free lol
ReplyDeleteCome on, join the forum. We won't edit you, we promise.
ReplyDeleteI don't think concussions are going to kill the league or football in general. I have faith that innovation will in some ways make the game safer, but in reality, you are playing a contact sport so you have to expect concussions (previous generation has a claim of not being aware of the dangers, but not this one). Not having guys play until they've fully recovered is a step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the NFL has watered the game down so much out of safety concerns that it's really not all that entertaining to me anymore, so I dunno. Every sport has a concussion issue. Hell, even FIFA is facing legal action over concussions, which blows the whole "well, more people will just play soccer instead of football!" thing out of the water.
CON-DO-LEE-ZA! (clap-clap clap-clap-clap)
ReplyDeleteCON-DO-LEE-ZA! (clap-clap clap-clap-clap)
CON-DO-LEE-ZA! (clap-clap clap-clap-clap)
CON-DO-LEE-ZA! (clap-clap clap-clap-clap)
Ha, Selig tried to contract the Minnesota Twins to enlarge the market share of his former team.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how the straight-up Tanaka vs. Taz match would have gone.
ReplyDeleteThere was an innovation to make the game safer! The Steve Wallace double helmet! I'm going to keep mentioning this whenever the topic of concussions in football come up until everyone acknowledges that it's a great idea and it gets brought back, but for every player. We'd all get used to it within a year. Maybe 2.
ReplyDeleteEhhh gross
ReplyDeleteEhhh dont see it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's forgotten about this whole thing is right afterwards Paul completely botches Awesome's amazing heat he drew here by half-ass turning him heel and pairing him with useless Judge Jeff Jones. Oh sure they still popped for his big spots but he never drew consistent character heat again.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the funniest scenes in TV history.
ReplyDelete"its just my natural juices... "
Who is Aunt Becky?
ReplyDeleteDon't see the point of a forum, gent. No one has had a concrete, good reason for it, rather I've had a big baby troll me an diminish interest in the forums with most of the people here
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't think one isolated incident would endanger the game, even an incident as awful as the Benoit one. The game is too big, and there is too much money to be made.
ReplyDeleteIndeed. My favorite part of the #AskDixie debacle was someone asking why she hired everyone off the cover of "The Death of WCW" to run her wrestling promotion.
ReplyDeleteDrive from Downtown to my burb is 15 minutes. I'll hopefully miss a terrible opening segment.
ReplyDeleteNo but it could at least get a lot more people to actually care about the guys injuring themselves, look at the change that happened in the wrestling community, half the time people mention not being able to watch head shots during reviews now.
ReplyDeleteI think the liability is a better direction, kill the high schools and that eventually moves up to the state colleges. Once the farm system that we pay for is removed, sport is done.
Probably Nitro's best cruiserweight match, and definitely worth finding on the Internets.
ReplyDeleteI don't totally disagree with you but with wrestling one guy takes the brunt of everything that happens in the business. The football industrial complex is a whole lot deeper and wider. You could kill the high schools but that would take at least a few decades.
ReplyDeleteThat last part is definitely true, no argument there. The good news however is that Chris Harvard is still quite a young man.
ReplyDeleteIdeally you'd have a former player as commissioner. But then of course it'd have to be somebody with a law degree or some experience working in politics or big business. I don't know who fits that bill for the NFL. Steve Largent, maybe?
ReplyDeleteI see what you're saying, here. Killing high school football would take practically winning a war in states like Florida and Texas, where high school is as much part of the culture as anything.
ReplyDeleteAlso, along the lines of the headshots being tough to watch, I was watching a MITB match from WM XXI. Benoit does a diving headbutt from the top of the ladder. I actually gasped a little. Fucking insane.
Tags was the man.
ReplyDeleteThose were the days. I had notebooks full.
ReplyDeleteFor sure, I'm not expecting it to happen soon, or maybe even in my lifetime.
ReplyDeleteBut then, when I graduated high school if you had told me by the time I was 30 smoking cigarettes wouldn't just "not be the coolest thing ever" it would actually make a person a social pariah I'd have fallen over laughing.
Or that by the time I was 30 we'd have the first black president but *only* because he narrowly beat out who would have been the first woman president, lol.
No one can really fathom what 20 years from now will look like, I remain hopeful we stop damaging people for lulz.
Is this just a smark thing though? Is the casual fan that aware about wrestlers and concussions?
ReplyDeleteThere is a greater level of detachment with football players cause we really don't know who they are. We know Manning, Brady, etc but you can't touch them anyway. How many of us can name the starting offensive line of every AFC West team?
Good points, and that's kinda what I've been saying. It's hard now for people to imagine a world with no football, but if we have a few high profile incidents of some sort? Who knows?
ReplyDeleteThe owner was also willing to cash out on the team.
ReplyDeleteBig guys can age fairly gracefully though (look at Taker), especially if they pace the match well, and Batista when he has his crap together is pretty good at pacing a match. We saw in his last return that it takes him a while to shake off the rust, but once he does he's pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteHah- thanks. It was WAY back in the day, when each page was super tiny. I still couldn't believe that it hadn't been done.
ReplyDeleteRaymond was the one for me, but KOQ is a more outstanding example sine the guy is also a porker.
ReplyDeleteYeah, and actually admitted it, which is pretty rare for actresses.
ReplyDeleteAccording to a google search, Taz's exact quote was: Bye-bye, Flash. Get the fuck out of my house, bitch.
ReplyDeleteIf he stayed a few more years, into this new "concussion" era... do we still remember him as fondly?
ReplyDeleteDeal with it!
ReplyDeleteSurprised nobody mentioned Amy Matthews.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, Topanga Matthews!
Should this be the thread for TNA?
ReplyDeleteNo TNA Thread? :(
ReplyDeleteRic Flair shouldn't have been a heel in WCW after 1995/1996. Hell, I'd even argue he should have been a permanent babyface when he rejoined them in 1993. By the late 90's, Flair was really in legend/God status to the WCW fans. They just didn't want to boo him, regardless of the fact that Flair wanted to work heel.
ReplyDeleteUm...okay...
ReplyDeleteAnd the death of Rick Rude.
ReplyDeleteSo agree with you on the DDP turn. DDP becomes a heel very close after Steiner throws his wife out of a car and DDP tries to get revenge. Much like Hogan's face turn and Flair's heel turn. WCW Main eventers turns are really questionable.
ReplyDeleteOh no, now I might make less money on this article.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm not a big believer in wins and losses being a primary reason for a guy getting over or not. But the IC and tag titles still mattering would help a lot.
ReplyDeleteI think we're too far gone to go back to the days when angles took longer to play out and you'd only see a smattering of top guys on the weekly TV shows. It's certainly a cognitive dissonance, wherein I love that Raw usually has a couple of good, long, PPV-caliber matches every week, but I know that long-term for their business and my entertainment it'd be better if most of those matches were held off for PPV. Stuff that could be a fairly big deal- particularly in the midcard is where this is felt- is just commonplace now because we've seen it so much.
Example: I'm pretty excited about Sheamus/Cesaro for the US title at NoC, but if we hadn't seen them interact in 6,000 different tag matches, singles matches, etc over the last year? In another era, that's a dream match. Imagine if we'd seen the same kind of constant interaction between, let's say Bret and Perfect before Summerslam '91. Would that be an enduring, lasting moment? Probably not, to say the least.
Related to this, someone here said it well recently, and I wish I remember who so I could give them credit. But in the 80's the WWF title seemed like a bigger deal because the weekly shows had jobbers galore losing to top guys and we didn't see Hogan every week, so it seemed like he was reigning champ over this vast, expansive universe of potential challengers, rather than the guy whose turn it currently happens to be out of the same small handful of guys who are all fighting each other every week.
I'm going to stop now, because I just gave myself an idea for another column.
Just learn how to write teasers. It was a good article but your headline nonsense reads terribly.
ReplyDeleteYou went from "this makes me not want to read it" to "I read it and it was good" really quickly there.
ReplyDeleteYea it was very limited unfortunately
ReplyDelete