Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Matt's Main Event Recap - 10/21/2014

So, I would have had this done sooner.

Unfortunately, the World Series happened and I was invited to go out to dinner to watch Game 1.

Let's get going.

We are LIVE(!) from Wichita, Kansas!

Byron Saxton & Michael Cole are on the mics and...

...and...

What the holy actual fuck...?

JBL is in the ring with The Usos and Gold/Stardust and there's cheesy 70's game show theme music playing and the game is called, "How Well Do You Know Your Bro?" This is SOOOOO FUNNY! HA HA HA! I can't wait for all of WWE's current regime defenders to pretend to like this! JBL imitates Road Dogg's "Tag Team Champions" thing because we didn't have enough of that earlier this year.

They're supposed to tell their brother's secrets. Apparently, Jey would have been a football player if he wasn't a wrestler. Goldust would have Stardust. The crowd is so silent, you can hear them illegally streaming the World Series over their cellphones.

Cole, at one point, just asks, "Can this get any worse?" I don't think he's kidding.

They finish with "password" and the Usos win whatever the hell I just watched.

Post-game, Gold gets a Double Superkick.

All that to let us know that the Usos would face the Dusts at Hell in a Cell.

TONIGHT: Jack Swagger takes on Seth Rollins for the 87th time. Go ahead and complain but it was either that or job Ziggler.

Tyson and Natalya are on their way to the ring. That's NEXT.

Ad for Hell in a Cell.

MATCH #1: R-Truth vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya)
A pair of shoulderblocks to Kidd to start. Kidd takes over in the corner, kicking at Truth's gut. Kidd hits a snap mare and another kick as Cole, honest to god, says, "That game show was the worst thing I have ever seen in a WWE ring." Truth is ejected from the ring. Then he flirts with Nattie. Kidd attacks and Truth yanks him outside. When we come back, KIDDISINCONTROL!!!!!!111!!!11! He pins Truth for two as Nattie looks concerned. Kidd hangs him up on the ropes and knees him in the gut, then hits a running dropkick. Two count. He tosses Truth from the ring, then tries to boot Truth in the face from the mat. Truth grabs the leg and trips him. Back in the ring, Truth hits a sitting suplex for two. Truth hits a corner splash, then lands weird and grabs his knee. Truth attacks but Kidd leaps back to life and hits his finisher for the win around 5:45.
WINNER: Tyson Kidd
RATING: *1/2.

Wyatt skit.

Komen thing.

Cena reads Dylan Thomas poetry to plug WWE 2K15, which is more than that game deserves.

FRIDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Ziggler defends the IC belt against Cesaro

Bo Dallas is out for a match. He says he's America's Sweetheart. He beat Mark Henry three times. That makes him the new World's Strongest Man! All he had to do was BO-LIEVE!

MATCH #2: Bo Dallas vs. Big E
Big E hits a belly to belly suplex on Dallas. Dallas comes back with a clothesline out of the corner. He knees at E and get a two count. Dallas puts a headlock on him. E breaks it but Dallas hits a neckbreaker for two and puts on another headlock which just pads this match's running time. E breaks but Dallas knees him in the gut. Dallas tries to whip E into the corner but E reverses it. Dallas runs at him but E hits clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex. He tries a Warrior Splash but Dallas kicks him. Dallas goes for the Bo-dog...but E counters and hits the Big Ending for the win at 3:51.
WINNER: Big E via Big Ending
RATING: **. 

Big celebrates following the match.

RAW Rebound: Cena and Ambrose vs. The Authority last night.

MATCH #3: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter)
WWE Network no longer has the running time clock over their slider. I really wish they'd bring that back so I can see how long I have to sit through another Rollins-Kills-a-Midcarder match. Rollins gets dumped from the ring and then gets taken down when he re-enters. Rollins tosses him into the ropes but Swagger hits shoulderblocks and then ejects him from the ring again. Security approaches Colter so Swagger gets involved. Back in the ring, Rollins hits a dropkick after Swagger misses a big clothesline. He stomps at Swagger and then ejects him from the ring. We go to break.

Back from break, Swagger kicks Rollins the gut but Rollins takes him down anyhow. Two count. Swagger finally comes back with a Spinebuster. He rushes Rollins but Rollins trips him and Swagger's head hits the buckle. Rollins chokes Swagger on the ropes and stomps at him some more. Suplex gets two. Rollins puts Swagger in a chinlock and then a Sleeper. Swagger breaks. Rollins misses a splash. Swagger hits clotheslines, a boot and goes for the Swagger Bomb. Rollins puts his feet up. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock. Rollins gets out. Failed Enzuguri by Rollins. Patriot Lock. Rollins escapes.

Rollins flies at Swagger and it's another Spinebuster by Swagger. Swagger puts Rollins into the corner, on the buckle and starts punching at him. Rollins fights out. Swagger tries to load him up again and tries a Sunset Flip...but Rollins hits the mat by himself. Swagger Bomb hits. Swagger misses a shoulder tackle. Rollins goes for a Curb Stomp and Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Rollins breaks. Security approaches Colter. Swagger approaches them but Rollins attacks, knocks down Swagger and hits the Curb Stomp for the win at 10:15.
WINNER: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp
RATING: **3/4. Better than usual for both guys. Rollins continues to not sell Swagger's finisher. Whatever.

Post-match, the two men glare at each other and we go off the air.

OVERALL: **. Not bad, really. It got better as it went along.

Er, that's it.

Thomas Hall has the NXT and Smackdown recaps to take you through the rest of the week. Scott Keith and Brian Bayless have some retro shows. Andy PG will have the RAW Report to start your week off right. I will be back next week, same BoD Time, same BoD Channel.

Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, please visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/

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