The PG Era Rant for Raw, October 6,
2014.
I didn't get back in time to watch the
Pre-Show, so we're flying blind. However, the live look-in says
we'll hear from Roman Reigns, and that Seth Rollins wants to start
Raw.
Live from Brooklyn, NY.
Your hosts are Cole, Lawler, and JBL.
A look back at Ambrose pirating (not
stealing) the Money in the Bank briefcase and everything else.
And as promised, here's Rollins, and
he's MAD. “You think that's funny, huh?” “YES!” But
Rollins show he got even at the end of the night. Seth says he's
patient, but embarrassing him crossed the line. But before he can go
on too much of a rant, Noble and Mercury get his attention and tell
him something. They want him out of the ring. Rollins isn't worried
– he knows he's a marked man and loves it. Everyone wants to take
out Rollins – especially Ambrose and...
...John Cena, who skips the music and
just runs Rollins off. But Rollins takes time to taunt, and Ambrose
walks up right behind him. The two trap Rollins, and Cena yanks
Rollins only for Ambrose to dive on both men. The Stooges allow
Rollins to run away before anything serious happens to him. Crowd is
undisputably on Ambrose's side.
And now, the Authority come out.
Enough with the chaos, Stephanie says. Egos are overriding brains,
and after SmackDown, it's clear the two of them aren't working
together. But they both want Rollins. And hey, the Authority's all
about opportunity, and Rollins wants it, and the crowd CLEARLY wants
it (as the Authority inexplicably plays to the crowd)...
...it's happening tonight! But Rollins
will have Kane and Orton as tag partners. “Careful what you wish
for, boys.”
We get a look back at Flag-gate. Big
Show is de-activated tonight.
Important note: Michael Cole noted
that Cena overreacted and ruined the tag match on SmackDown.
Goldust & Stardust &
Cesaro v. Dolph Ziggler & Jimmy Uso & Jey Uso.
An inset promo shows the Usos imitating the Dusts. “Bros before
weirdos.” Goldust rushes in and starts the melee, which ends with
Stardust alone in the ring. One of the Usos gets tossed into the
stairs and appears to have dislocated his shoulder (Jey). Jey is,
for some reason legal, but Stardust misses a charge. He recovers
with a kneelift and slam as the crowd demands Ziggler. Choking in
the ropes, and Goldust is in. He wins a slugfest, but Jey with a
crossbody only for Cesaro to tag himself in. Uppercut to Jey, and he
boxes in the corner. Jey escapes to bring Jimmy in, and it's a
leaping clothesline and some chops. Cesaro reverses and chops
harder. Hammer Throw gets Cesaro seated, and the Rikishi Hip Check
follows. Cesaro recovers quickly to corner Jimmy, and all six men go
at it. Cesaro sends Dolph into the steps and the heels stand tall as
we go to break.
So
far, this match is kind of disjointed. But the hot tag to Ziggler's
going to blow the roof off the place. Plenty of time to recover,
too.
Gold/Star/Cesaro v.
Dolph/Jimmy/Jey, part two.
Stardust works over Jimmy with an abdominal stretch. Jimmy
hiptosses out, but Stardust gets a high kick from his back and brings
in Cesaro. Cesaro does Dolph's heart attack elbow for two. Cesaro
with a hesitation dropkick for two. Cobra clutch by Cesaro as the
crowd wants Dolph to get in. Cesaro gets cradled out of nowhere for
two. Goldust in, and he gets a front elbow for two. He stands on
Jimmy's head before stomping it, but that wakes Jimmy up and he gets
a Dragon Whip. Hot tag Dolph, and Cesaro eats Stinger Splash and
Rude Awakening. Tilt-a-whirl sleeper by Dolph gets Cesaro in trouble
(with overselling by Cole), but Cesaro sends Dolph into the corner.
Uppercut misses, Rocker Dropper gets two. The Usos dive onto the
Dusts, but Cesaro uppercuts Dolph for two. Cesaro disposes of Jey,
and Dolph with a cradle for two. Stardust tags himself in and gets
Cross Rhodes for two. Another Uso hits the stairs off-camera. Dolph
cuts off Stardust, and the Usos help Dolph eat a triple superkick.
Superuso Splash ends it at 12:14. Hot finishing sequence. **1/2
Cena
was on the Today Show earlier today; they will return the favor
tonight.
I
have a feeling this segment will set the universe's opinion of
wrestling fans back 15 years.
So
here come Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, your special guests
tonight – as part of the Exotic Express. And wearing Ric Flair
robes. As Rose is dressed like Hugh Hefner. And OF COURSE there's
wine in the ring. As soon as Rose leaves and the girls get the mic,
the boos begin. Kathie turns it around with a cheap pop or two.
It's a toast to Raw as they've begun drinking already. Crowd resumes
booing. Hoda and Kathie say they need to behave on the Today Show...
but not tonight, as Hoda goes full Brie Mode. Kathie breaking the
bottle of wine over Hoda's rear end – and Hoda returning the favor
– um, happened. Thankfully, Rose still gets some cheers for his
routine. The ladies do Rose's stage dive and we're out.
Luke
Harper is on his own. Be scared.
Well,
small favors. They only booed it.
Bo Dallas v. Mark Henry.
Pre-match video shows Henry is in a bad mood. Henry goes
a-clubbering to Dallas and chokes him on the middle rope. Straight
right hand and Henry crushes him in the corner. More clubs to the
back. Dallas wisely bails on an Irish Whip, but Henry follows and
sends him into the table, then the post. Henry whips Dallas upside
down into the barricade and clears the table. He goes for the
World's Strongest Slam, but Dallas escapes and races back into the
ring to beat the count at 1:54. Who's supposed to get over from this
match?
I
know I am Real American and have been since I started this review,
but seriously, whom did Jack Swagger get on the wrong side of?
SmackDown
XV this Friday!
Back
to the top.
And
Dean Ambrose is back out. The crowd looks livelier than it sounds.
Ambrose is upset that John Cena is getting in his way. They're
teaming tonight, like they SHOULD have teamed on Friday, but Cena
abandoned Ambrose to chase Rollins. Ambrose has just about had it
with Cena, and he wants Cena out so they can hash it out. “Please,
John, indulge me with your presence!”
Crowd
sings “JOHN CENA SUCKS” in tune with Cena's music as Cena calmly
walks to the ring. Cena brings up Ambrose's dive onto everyone from
earlier, but he says everyone understands everyone's actions, so
there's nothing to talk about. Ambrose says, yeah, I care more about
Rollins than you – we don't care about each other – but neither
one cares about anyone's opinion. So can they coexist? Not that
Ambrose cares – he'll drop Cena and fight the Authority alone.
Cena reminds Ambrose about how poorly that went last time.
Cena
then changes tone – he says Ambrose has guts. He says and does
whatever he wants, but there are consequences. Cena has no problem
dropping Ambrose either. Both men want to avoid not liking the
other. Ambrose changes the subject: he's hungry. He feels like
going to Coney and skipping out on the match. So he drops the mic
and walks out.
A
bit of a big deal here: the announcers are sympathizing with Dean
Ambrose walking out. They do think John Cena has this coming.
Moments
Ago.
We
see Dean Ambrose leaving Raw on the Q Train.
HHH
mocks John Cena backstage. “Kids nowadays, huh?” HHH tries to
blame Ambrose to Cena, acting like Ambrose is an ingrate. It's now
3-on-1, apparently. Cena, though, knows he's trying to cut off the
match in order to protect Rollins and wants the match. HHH offers to
have Rollins start the match so that Cena can get a little of
Rollins.
Brie Bella v. Summer Rae.
Brie has one arm tied behind her back. Summer tackles Brie and
mocks her, then adds a boot choke. Summer slams Brie's head into the
corner and snapmares her for two. To the chinlock. Summer kicks
Brie down and chokes her on the bottom rope. Crowd is so enthused
they chant for Derek Jeter. Brie leverages Summer into Layla and
gets a running knee to the head for the pin at 1:55. Brie leads the
YES chant.
Meanwhile,
someone's giving Kane a fruit basket. Oh, it's Miz. With Sandow
imitating him. This is an apology for last week. Kane says they
don't want apologies because they know Miz is a phony. Kane brings
up Miz's actions on SmackDown, then books him against Sheamus.
Sandow rescinds the gift basket.
It's
a shame the fans don't care about the Bellas, because the story isn't
actually bad. Of course, it needs Stephanie, which it won't get.
Jack Swagger v. Tyson Kidd.
Kidd gets no entrance, but Swagger gets no American flag. This is
your Total Divas cross-promotion. Swagger charges the corner to
start, then vaults a charge only to get run down. WE THE PEOPLE!
Kidd bails on a whip before hiding behind Natalya and getting a kick
to the head. Stomp on the apron and in the corner, then he catapults
Swagger into the bottom buckle. Rude Awakening gets one. To the
chinlock. Kidd with a back kick, but Swagger gets the comeback with
a huge hiptoss. WE THE PEOPLE! Vaderbomb connects, but Kidd
reverses the high angle spinebuster into a Sharpshooter, which
Swagger reverses to a Patriot Lock try. Kidd kicks Swagger from the
apron and goes up, but Swagger throws him off and gets the Patriot
Lock for the submission at 3:11. Kidd pulls his shoe off and glares
at Natalya. 3/4*
Edge
and Christian are the WWE main offices to play up the post-show
history of SmackDown show.
The
irony here is that Tyson Kidd may be more popular as a deadbeat jerk
husband than he'd ever be as a Hart Dungeon member or legacy of Bret.
Roman
Reigns follows in the family tradition and is live via satellite.
(Sorry, too easy.) He says rehab is going well, and he's counting
down the days until he's able to get back, and it'll be “sooner
rather than later”. Not really an interview so much as a
videotaped statement.
Back
to Night of Champions to show why Cena dislikes Rollins.
Either
Dean Ambrose shows up later tonight – like he wouldn't – or this
main event is going to be trashed. Bonus points if they're faking
hating each other, but we know they aren't.
Ultimate
Warrior's final words are used to sell the WWE Network. More on this
later.
El Torito v. Mini Gator.
Another Hornswoggle match? Slater and Gator are arguing during
intros. And during a pep talk for Swoggle. Gator crawls to Torito,
who jumps away. Torito goes for the headgear, then grabs a cape from
one of the Matadores and covers Swoggle's head with it. Crowd: “THIS
IS STUPID.” Slater walks in and checks on Swoggle, who Gator Rolls
Slater for no reason. He realizes his error, so O'Neil's on the
apron and gets gored. Crowd wants Derek Jeter. Torito avoids a
charge and does a moonsault to end it at 2:18, which is 2:18 longer
than it should've gotten. -**
Cole can't even call it awesome with a straight face. But at least
Vince found it hilarious, and that's what's important, right?
Another
recap of Flag-Gate.
So
because I want to talk about ANYTHING ELSE ON EARTH but the minis,
let's look at the WWE Network ad. I love it, personally – the
words of Warrior about how the fans make people legends, with shots
of said legends, was well done. I can understand if others don't
share my enthusiasm or feel that, given Warrior's untimely death, the
words should be off-limits. But it's not like Warrior was on his
deathbed when he said it, so I approve.
Your
Main Event main event is Bo Dallas getting a shot at the
Intercontinental Title match against Dolph Ziggler. Not bad.
Here
are Rusev and Lana. It's apparently Vladimir Putin's birthday. Lana
accidentally admits Rusev is from Bulgaria. The Rusev/Show match
there was supposed to be is off because of you know this. Lana: “He
should be in prison!” She even calls it a hate crime. Crowd isn't
moved by Lana and chants USA. Rusev tells the “bigots” something
in Bulgarian about Big Show, then says Big Show is afraid of him. He
even calls Big Show out. Of course, Big Show can't come out, so
Rusev calls him a coward.
BUT
WAIT! Will Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson suffice? Crowd considers
this a HSM. And that it's Awesome. And Rock hasn't said anything
yet! Rock says Rusev needs to 1) know his role and 2) shut his
mouth. He mocks Rusev's tight shorts as he goes over his day. He
says Lana's favorite place is the Meat Packing District, claims to
have swum from Manhattan to Staten Island on his way to visiting all
five boroughs. And he plays off the Derek Jeter chants from earlier.
This is all a set-up for FINALLY.
Lana:
“Who do you think you are?” How dare he interrupt the great
Rusev! Shu Tup, she says. Rock: “And YOU need to stop dressing
like a Soviet street walker.” Rusev takes offense now and calls
Rock an “American piece of garbage”, telling him to leave now or
get Crushed. Rock mocks Rusev's bad breath for no reason before
saying Lana is beautiful. Smokin', even. But she clearly has a
Smirnoff bottle up her Putin. Back to Chewbacca (Rusev), and it
doesn't matter what he thinks. Sure, Rusev's undefeated because he's
big, strong, and dangerous. But here's the deal: it's not about
Rusev supporting Russia. It's because you're a-holes.
Lana
calls off the diatribe and sicks Rusev, the wolf, on Rock. The medal
is slowly removed and the staredown begins. So as Lana quotes Putin,
Rock quotes Jay-Z to do his 50-word nickname. And the fight's on as
Rock beats down Rusev, sending him flying from the ring. IF YA SMELL
and he's out.
Recap
of Ambrose walking out.
People
in my friends' list on Skype are arguing over what the point was of
Rock. On one hand, he shows up, insults the big heel, beats him
down, doesn't get touched, and makes him look like a chump. On the
other, he put him in a must-see segment, made a big deal out of him,
and put him over as a threat verbally in passing. Me? Well, the
crowd loved it, and that's kind of the point. I doubt Rusev is going
to get de-pushed from this, so I'll let it slide.
Paige and Alicia Fox v. AJ Lee
and Emma.
The idea is that AJ's out of friends, so she just picked someone.
AJ and Alicia will start. AJ with a spinkick and she throws Alicia
into Paige. Paige goes into the table, then runs off. Emma wants
in, so AJ obliges as Emma faces Alicia. Alicia runs her over with a
knee and tosses her, but Emma's on the apron and gets a Pele kick.
Cradle gets two. Corner charge goes nowhere, and Alicia runs Emma
into the corner. Alicia's blind charge also misses, and Emma with
the Tarantula. Corner splash hits this time on Alicia, and AJ gets
sick of Emma's dancing and walks off. This leaves Emma with Paige,
and a superkick follows. Package DDT ends it at 2:48. AJ refuses to
have anything to do with Paige or Alicia and walks away. I don't get
it. 3/4*
Erick
Rowan is a man-child, insulted by humanity. But Bray Wyatt fixed
him, and now he's set free for revenge.
Okay,
serious question: what was I supposed to get out of that tag match?
AJ's the babyface, right? So why is she abandoning her partner and
not caring about anyone on earth? And Paige is supposed to be the
heel, but she sticks up for Alicia. And the heel team didn't cheat,
either. I'm totally confused. At least the crowd didn't chant CM
Punk as loudly as usual this time.
Happy
birthday, Bruno Sammartino!
The Miz v. Sheamus.
Sheamus rushes Miz into the corner, but Miz escapes. Miz avoids an
elbow to the face and slaps Sheamus, but Sheamus catches him. Miz
goes to the eye and kicks away in the corner, but Sheamus with a back
elbow. Miz returns the favor to gain control and uses the knees, but
he runs into a slam. Miz rolls to the apron, getting Sheamus hung up
as the crowd chants for Sandow. Miz off the top into a chop. Miz
uses the boot, but the SCF misses. Brogue Kick is escaped as Miz
bails and we go to break.
Sheamus
is just not motivated by these matches. It's showing.
Miz/Sheamus, part two.
Miz with the chinlock as we return, but Sheamus steps on the foot to
break. Miz recovers with a backbreaker and through-the-ropes
clothesline. Forearm smashes follow. Crowd keeps chanting for
Sandow as Miz gets a boot choke for two. Of note: they're chanting
for SANDOW, not MIZDOW. More rope choking, and Sandow adds a cheap
shot to a huge pop. Miz with the Austin Straddle for two. Abdominal
stretch, including shots to the ribs, follow. Crowd: “SANDOW'S
BETTER.” Sheamus backs Miz into the corner to break, but Miz with
a kick to the back that just annoys Sheamus. Comeback begins with
Irish Hammers and a kneelift. Running knee in the corner and an
Oklahoma Slam. Brogue Kick time, but Sandow pulls Miz out. Sheamus
throws Sandow into the barricade (crowd hates that), so Miz jumps
Sheamus from behind. Brogue Kick is meant for Miz but hits Sandow,
and Miz with a cradle for the pin at 10:09. Disjointed mess. *1/4
Sheamus chases everyone off with a chair.
If
this leads to a Sandow face turn, I'll enjoy it, but it really seems
like Vince is tone-deaf. Miz is in DVD movies, so let's push him!
But not too seriously, lest anyone think Hollywood is better than us!
Jerry
Lawler acknowledges some breast cancer survivors at ringside before
introducing Joan Lunden. Who's Joan Lunden? She speaks as a breast
cancer fighter. Ah, the search engine says she's a former host of
Good Morning America. She introduces each of the survivors by name.
And John Cena hugs Lunden at the end, because it's 10:52 and he wants
to get his match started.
As
the Gospels say, “When you give to charity, don't make a big deal
out of it, or your reward will be on earth. When you give, just give
without announcing it, not even telling the left hand what the right
hand does. Then your reward will be eternal.”
Real
Housewife Nene Leakes will be on the show next week. ARE THEY EVEN
TRYING?
Main event (FINALLY!): John Cena
v. The Authority. Cena,
to his credit, conducts the crowd in singing about how much he sucks.
Cena demands Rollins start, per HHH, so he does... then IMMEDIATELY
tags in Kane. Of course. Cena pounds down Kane and knocks Rollins
off the apron, but Kane recovers and stomps away. Uppercut follows,
and Orton enters with a clothesline. He stomps Cena, but Cena tries
to fight back only to run into a powerslam for two as Lawler gets mad
at Ambrose for walking out because Cena. Kane in, and he gets an
open kick to the gut and corner clothesline. Now Rollins finally
enters as Cena is in deep trouble and dances, punching away on Cena.
Running forearm in the corner floors Cena as the crowd has no
patience for this. Rollins slaps Cena around, but that allows Cena
to fire back. Charge by Cena eats elbow, and Rollins with the
Blockbuster for two. Rollins picks Cena up by the jaw and talks
trash, then kicks Cena to the ropes and chokes away. Orton adds a
cheap shot, but Cena shoves Rollins away and begins the comeback on
Rollins. Five-Knuckle Shuffle connects, and the AA is tried, but
Rollins throws Cena into Kane as the 3-on-1 begins at 4:39. *1/4
Kane with a chokeslam, and Orton mocks Cena and the crowd before
calling for the RKO...
...and
Dean Ambrose is back, having brought the whole damn hot dog cart with
him. He munches a Coney Island dog and watches, but Orton and Kane
approach him. Crowd wants hot dogs. Ambrose attacks with the
CONDIMENTS OF DOOM before bowling both men over with the cart and
rushing Rollins, delivering a huge beating as the crowd wakes up.
Orton and Kane attack, Cena saves. Rollins is sent out over the top,
Orton eats AA, and Cena disposes of Kane so that Ambrose can dive
onto Rollins. Ambrose throws everything at Rollins for no reason,
then uses the hot dog tongs on a different wiener. Kane drags
Ambrose back in, but Cena cuts him off with the AA. Rollins crawls
away as Cena and Ambrose stand alone in the ring...
..and
here's HHH. Hey, the heroes are back on the same page, but only one
can fight Seth Rollins. They have to fight each other first at Hell
in a Cell, and the winner gets Seth Rollins inside the Cell. So
basically, one or the other is going to Hell, weakened for Rollins to
pick apart. Cena gets ready to leave, but Ambrose delivers a Double
Arm DDT to a HUGE reaction from the crowd.
THOUGHTS:
I
understand there was a lot of sports on, but that does not excuse
people – LOOKING AT YOU, VINCE – from phoning in a Raw. That's
what this was: phoned in. And in the worst way, too. It's not even
the 4/10 water treading you usually see. This show made me question
whether anyone would care if I stopped early and posted that I gave
up.
Well,
I soldiered on for you. But if you didn't stick around until the
end, I don't blame you.
STATS:
MATCH
TIME: 39:08 over eight matches
BEST
MATCH: The six-man tag
WORST
MATCH: The minis match
NIGHT
MVP: Dean Ambrose
FINAL
SCORE: 2. One for Ambrose, one for the Rock. And that's IT. I'm on
your side, WWE. I know you're better than this. Don't do this to
me.
Matt
Perri will have something to say about this on Main Event. Tommy
Hall will review the rest of the shows this week. Logan Scisco takes
you to 1998. Dock Muraco continues to say major Japanese matches are
better than average Raw matches as though that's a revelation.
Stranger in the Alps will run the daily discussion and hold the
Writers' Title. Speaking of, Brian Bayless has the e-fed Raw up.
Read that instead. I know I will.
Seriously,
Vince, show some pride in your work, would you?
I think this Edge and Christian special is blowing away Raw right now.
ReplyDeleteI liked Rock and the three way feud is interesting, but this show is running with an anchor. I get the idea that not everything can be a huge moment or great, but the celebrity stuff and the cancer talk is just crippling what would be an otherwise decent to solid show.
ReplyDelete"Like genital warts?"
ReplyDelete"The plight of the spider monkey?"!
"no, I want to talk to you about...suckage!"
Hard to believe that minis match coukd be worse than the divas match.
ReplyDeleteSO... MUCH... STALLING...
ReplyDeleteRaw is running with an anchor right now. The celebrity stuff and cancer talk drags down what should have been a decent show otherwise. The three way feud is good and Rock was a great surprise, but the main event gets four and a half minutes so we can hear from a journalist from a publication not important enough to name talk about how bad cancer is. That's what drives me crazy about Raw: the good is good, but the bad is REALLY bad.
ReplyDelete"It's a shame the fans don't care about the Bellas"
ReplyDeleteNo it's not, they can't wrestle and can't talk and are being pushed to the moon undeservedly because of the reality show and who're they're attached to. The real shame is that the McMahons will go down swinging trying to get them over as opposed to, say, the wealth of ready talent down at NXT.
"Ultimate Warrior's final words are used to sell the WWE Network. More on this later."
ReplyDeleteSo he didn't say anything to anybody backstage after the speech and on the way back to the hotel and all the next morning?
This is the toughest I've seen you on a Raw Andy...
ReplyDeleteI'd give the Diva's tag match at best a -*
ReplyDeleteWorld Wrestling Entertainment
ReplyDeleteOctober Means Pepto Bismol Ropes and Shitty Guest Stars
To be fair, the point of featuring Brie right now appears to be to keep Daniel Bryan in the public consciousness while he's out injured. Hence the YES chants and bringing him up every time they're on TV.
ReplyDeleteI was REALLY hard on the "Bryan joins the Wyatts" Raw, but my optimism is something I'm proud of. Sometimes, though... ick.
ReplyDeleteIts weird they made rock interact with a loser with Rusev (I get that's he's getting a push but once he jobs it's all over) but I'll still have to catch that on YouTube
ReplyDeleteThat's fine and all, but what's Nikki's excuse?
ReplyDeletePaige is HORRIBLE too, wow I rarely watch those parts but omg that was bad
ReplyDeleteGlad he's seen the light
ReplyDelete"CONDIMENTS OF DOOM"
ReplyDeleteYou heard it here first..
He juat should have started screwing someone that can actually work.
ReplyDeleteI know that narrows it down to exactly AJ and Nattie however
The divas thing blows my mind because the very last thing left I can like about Vince is that he does care if the matches suck or not. Why wouldn't he just scrap the whole division? Couldn't they still do total divas if they were just valets?
ReplyDeleteWarriors Final Words: "Nine Ninety N... URGGHHH"..
ReplyDeleteYea im struggling to see what all of the commotion over her was. Every match I see of her is heatless with botches left snd right
ReplyDeleteI get that she's young and hot but wow she can't wrestle for shit
ReplyDeleteThe Midgets and the Bella's escape your sight HOW?
ReplyDeleteScott will say it tomorrow and all credit there on will goto him
ReplyDeleteDVR bro. Its your best friend when raw is on
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the entire show, but I thought that first tag-match was hot. I thought the Rock/Rusev segment was great as well. Perhaps foreshadowing? And the Ambrose-Cena-Rollins storyline is interesting.
ReplyDeleteUnless the rest was excruciatingly poor, I cannot see how this show was a 2/10.
Word of advise: Avoid tonight's Gotham like the plague.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately you just described 90% of the division
ReplyDeleteIdk, I hear she was good in NXT, not that thst matters at all once you hit the main roster
You pretty much answered your own question, the rest WAS excruciatingly poor
ReplyDeleteStephanie's awful line to close the show is minus two points, and a hit dog cart as a prop is minus one, plus Kathie Lee and Hida and cancer shit, Miz won,...I trust it
ReplyDeleteHer weak little scream on the apron too is bullshit
ReplyDeleteThe budget cuts are so bad to the point a hot dog cart is the best they can do for Ambrose?
ReplyDeleteI almost wish the Network didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteAnyone what the original plan for summerslam 06 was if RVD didn't get fired?
ReplyDeleteJust as a reminder that my column will not be up this week due to grad school commitments. It will return the following week with a review of Breakdown 1998.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you in grad school for?
ReplyDeleteI still think WWE's long term plan for the title was Edge/Cena as their top feud so I think Edge beats him for the title before Summerslam or Cena beats RVD in Boston AT Summerslam.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that was a moment you got heat for.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue in general was the worst it has been in a long time.
ReplyDeleteYeah I agree. Either way RVD was jobbing the belt and being an ECW only post summerslam.
ReplyDeleteWhich made the Rock/Rusev segment look even better because it didn't have the SHITTY HOLLYWOOD WRITERS LINES OF DEATH (sorry had to go into my Scott mode for a minute) added to it.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock's segment made me genuinely happy, something that WWE hasn't been able to do in recent weeks.
ReplyDeleteNothing against Ambrose, but at least Rock was different.
ReplyDeleteIts funny to see Chavo and Rey fight over eddies legacy when in kayfabe he was ruthlessly evil to both of them constantly.
ReplyDeleteI turned it off after the opening 6-man tag, and from reading this, yep didn't miss much at all.
ReplyDeleteI will say this about tonights raw. The wwe HD is really looking amazing. They used to have a very janky HD set up but now it's really good.
ReplyDeleteJon Gruden thinks everyone's a HOF player.
ReplyDeleteGruden calling Saints games is embarrassing. Every nice play by the Saints it's like he's licking Sean Payton's nuts.
ReplyDeleteHe was licking Cousin's balls tonight and even Russel Wilson, who might have had his worst game of the season.
ReplyDeleteShe's dating John Cena.
ReplyDeleteIs there a worse quarterback that has gotten more praise than Kurt Cousins has this year? He sucks and people talk him up like he is great.
ReplyDeleteMatthew Stafford is close.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see it but the Rock segment sounds great and I'm happy that Ambrose is being a dick to Cena instead of playing it like "Oh man I'm a big enough deal to be Cena's friend now, this is so cool!"
ReplyDeleteSo, who wants to bet that the loser has to face Orton and Kane in a handicap match?
ReplyDeleteTHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE BEST PLAY I'VE EVER SEEN RUSSELL WILSON MAKE.
ReplyDeleteI TELL YOU, YOU HAVE SEAN PAYTON AND DREW BREES AND THEN THROW JIMMY GRAHAM INTO THE MIX? BOY....
ReplyDeleteAfter Brees completes a 5-yard pass to Graham on 2nd and 8
SOMETHING IS BREWING DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS. MAN, THIS DYNAMIC OFFENSE JUST MAKES ME WANNA FLAP.
ReplyDeleteI think people just hate RG3 and want him to be good
ReplyDeleteThey guy from KSK who did the Gruden's Grinder column was great. Those were hysterical
ReplyDeleteRGIII's career ended when he tried to grind that Seattle playoff game out.
ReplyDeleteTJ: BoD RAW is finished.
ReplyDeleteGuys, The Rock. Holy shit.
ReplyDeleteCan we just give Sara Del Rey booking duties for the Divas? Because I have no idea what they are doing? And I miss the days when there wasn't soap opera writers writing the dialogues of the wrestlers...
ReplyDeleteShe gets far too much unwarranted praise.
ReplyDeleteThat ain't right...
ReplyDeleteI don't mean "not appropriate". I mean "There's no way Vince would let someone die without completing the whole price"
I still don't get how Gruden, Cowher and Billick have not gotten coaching gigs. I guess Gruden and Cowher don't want to do it, but really?
ReplyDeleteI agree that they are telling a better story with the Bellas of late (i.e. Brie overcoming all of the disadvantages in matches that Nikki couldn't/complained about), but the end game (a Bellas match, hopefully not in a cell) just isn't a good payoff.
ReplyDeleteIs it that hard to just book Cesaro and Sheamus to beat the stuffing out of each other?
I'm in the western part of the US, so can I get a quick explanation of why the Rock verbally and physically going over on Rusev was good (several top comments on the Nightly thread liked the segment)? Even if I don't think beating Rusev will be a huge deal for [insert babyface here], the Rock is one of the few people who needed to "go over" Rusev less than Cena (given a rumored Cena-Rusev match at Mania); no, it wasn't a match and won't kill him, and Rusev has sold plenty before (though he eventually would get decisive wins over Big E, Henry, Swagger), but I'm not sure I see the point of this segment at the moment: either (assuming Rock won't make another appearance) Rusev/Lana don't bring it up again (making it basically a one night only pop), or Lana brings it up repeatedly without really physically/verbally hurting the Rock. Unless the plan is to feed Rusev to the Rock's "cousin" when he returns to lead in to the Rumble.
Ambrose is working hard, but slime and condiments is rather silly, even for someone who loved the beer and milk trucks. Thank goodness Reigns wasn't hurt sooner, or Ambrose would have been the one to spike Vickie's tea.
The sheetz have been speculating the loser gets Orton for a few weeks. Sadly, given how Orton and Kane have been used, beating either or both of them won't make a real difference.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way. My roommate watched during the attitude era and he occasionally watches raw with me. He was marking out just saying how awesome the rock is. He is just awesome. So fun to have around. Crowd adored him.
ReplyDeleteProbably dropping the wwe title but defending the ECW title vs angle at Summerslam. That idea fell apart all around.
ReplyDeleteOh no. I liked episode 2 a lot. Planned to catch this weeks on demand later this week.
ReplyDeleteNope, and it's annoying. He's won once as a starter.
ReplyDeleteI liked the pilot. Felt Episode 2 took a step back although it was still decent. This episode was just bad. Although I've seen some good reviews so what do I know.
ReplyDeleteStafford and Cutler are like the same person but Cutler's demeanor makes him more unlikeable and thus Stafford avoids some of the heat Cutler gets.
ReplyDeleteDoes Del Rey have any booking experience?
ReplyDeleteBetter yet, can we just scrap the whole division?
Frank Caliendo is fucking terrible.
ReplyDeleteJust saw the Rock segment. The crowd loved it. It seemed slow/long (even if he was soaking in the moment), and I finally thought the Rock looked old. I'm glad people enjoyed it, and the Rock did mention how strong Rusev was.
ReplyDeleteAnd then Cole ends it by saying that Raw is trending #1 worldwide. Sigh.
Cena being shoehorned in the Shield stuff is just a killer for me. It's the one feud left I cared at all about, and I can see where this is going.
ReplyDeleteMost of his impersonations are spot-on and he does a ton of them. Easily, one of the best impersonators ever.
ReplyDeletePaige is improving but her main problem is she can't take a bump, like at all, and they notably cover that she can't. She really needed more time in the minors. But, it's not like match quality means a thing in the 'diva' division so *shrug*.
ReplyDeleteThey might as well scrap it as it is just going to be them trying to plug in whatever model they wanna push into their horrifically written storylines.
ReplyDeleteAs the Gospels say, “When you give to charity, don't make a big deal out of it, or your reward will be on earth. When you give, just give without announcing it, not even telling the left hand what the right hand does. Then your reward will be eternal.”
ReplyDeleteSo, this is proof that John Cena is an atheist.
And, since John Cena always does the right thing, this is proof that there is no God.
I don't even know where to begin decoding this statement.
ReplyDeleteSee. that I don't mind. Well, I do, but my point is that we don't need to see a bunch of other chicks putting on "matches" when the kids a couple blocks over that have no wrestling training can do better work in their backyard. Want to build an angle around 2 or 3 chicks that involve matches? Fine, I don't like it, but it's wrestling, I'll accept it. But having a bunch of other broads that are only hired because they have that model look doing matches where DUD is considered "not as bad as I was expecting" is fucking pointless.
ReplyDeleteAnd before someone jumps in my shit, I'm not against women wrestling, I'm against WOMEN'S WRESTLING. Teach these girls to wrestle like cruisers, or even just like men, and I'd be fine with it (AJ, Charlotte, Paige, etc... you're not the problem). But this "kick to the gut, loose slap, hairtoss, finish with a roll-up" shit needs to die.
Impersonation is the lowest form of comedy. I saw the one he did on SC earlier. Yes, he imitated him well enough where it took me second to realize it was Frank and not Belichick. But it wasn't funny. He looked like him and said the opposite of what Belichick would say, har har...
ReplyDeleteI also don't understand the need for Rocky to make Rusev look like a chump to an old part-timer. He just popped the crowd and made local references anyway. I know, "IWC" bitching, and it should be harmless in the long run, but they've done this with old guys for over a decade now and wonder why everyone today struggles to get over.
ReplyDeleteRock couldn't have been any less different, same promo/same shtick.
ReplyDeleteUh except the rock!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the hell out of the rock's segment. Really all I wanted to say.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock helped draw over 3 million buys and live sellouts for his most recent three Wrestlemanias. He probably has one or two of those left in him, too. He's got a crazy ass schedule and is hugely successful, but he still can make WWE a priority. He also bowed at the altar of Cena. If anyone deserves a pass as a part-timer, it's him.
ReplyDeleteBut I would argue that this segment was effective. Rusev wasn't laid out by a Rock Bottom, and both he and Lana got a chance to partake in some verbal exchanges with him. The Rock was highly entertaining as usual and caused Rusev to backtrack, much to the crowd's delight. Yet, Rusev has backed off from Swagger, Henry, and Big Show on multiple occasions. It's kind of his thing--let the fans enjoy it now, dominate later, and keep the fans aching for a clean victory by an American. So, this exchange just continues to build interest in his character while popping the live crowd and making this Raw memorable for something other than a bull and gator rolling around.
It's more than a little strange that some people didn't. That was, for the most part, a shit show until he injected some life into it. It's that type of segment that has me texting lapsed fans to turn the channel to Raw.
ReplyDeleteIf Rock would've come out and mocked Rollins, I'd be bummed. But it's Rusev. Do we really, truly believe this guy is going to be a main eventer? This was far and away the biggest thing he's ever done and Rock just gave him a few punches, it's not like he buried him. If anything, more people know who Rusev is now. Plus it was fun and a total shock.
ReplyDeleteI've always gotten a laugh out of his impressions. As you said, he's damn good.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was texting with four or five people all marking out together. I don't get the negativity either.
ReplyDeleteIf no one buys Rusev after The Rock making a fool of him for one segment then he's a loser and shouldn't be pushed anyway.
ReplyDeleteSomeone on twitter claimed Rock as the greatest promo ever. I nominated Piper and Dusty ahead of Rock.
ReplyDeleteAnd he also entirely forgets to be funny.
ReplyDeleteThere are two major problems with promos these days, which was illuminated by the Rock promo and the jarring juxtaposition of it all: 1. The writing. It's bad enough where I feel awful for Reigns because the lines for him are so bad. People can blame Vince or the wrestler all they want for the words, but these scripts are written by people who are paid to write them. 2. The acting, particularly with the Divas. You are told in Acting 101 to make notes about the emotional beats you have to hit, but at no point are you told to change your emotions with every line. If you look at someone like Lana, her emotions and expressions change with every line as if the script were a high speed rollercoaster. There are times where she'll smile and then scowl within the same sentence just because she hits a certain word in the middle of it.
ReplyDeleteSame goes with most of the Divas. You can just see them thinking, "I'm down and out, so I should be disappointed when saying this line. Okay, this is an angry line, so I should shriek." There's no natural progression of emotions. There must be some sense of becoming your character and thinking, "My character does not have split personalities and I should probably ride this emotion out like a human being would."
Jericho talks about dropping into character a lot in his podcast. Is anyone doing this besides Ambrose, Bray, and The Rock?
Couple questions from tonight's show: Does the whole issue with Cena vs. Ambrose and whoever wins vs. Rollins at Hell in a Cell mean that Lesnar isn't defending his title until, what, the Royal Rumble? This would be the longest the title hasn't been defended on PPV or TV since Hogan's 1993 reign, right? Second, is the Rock's appearance setting anything up, like a match at Wrestlemania 31, or was this just a one off? If it's a sign for an eventual match, then against who? It couldn't possibly be Rusev, could it? And, finally, is there any footage of Lana sticking a bottle of Smirnoff up her Putin? Please?!
ReplyDeleteBut the divas match you hate warranted your attention?
ReplyDeleteThis year? No, but I hear that Tim Tebow guy could give him a run for his money.
ReplyDeleteI thought the Brooklyn crowd was very disrespectful during the Matadores/SlaterGator match. The fans should appreciate the WWE for going out of their way to provide us with a variety of entertainment.......Besides that, I appreciate Brooklyn for not chanting CM Punk during a Divas match, but the WWE is killing the Divas division by not pulling the trigger on that Rosa Mendes push....AJ and Paige just aren't getting over with the live crowds even though the WWE pushes them so hard.. Rosa on the hand, is the most over Diva in the company who puts on great matches with anyone they put her in there with..I say toss the Total Divas rule out the window and put the Divas Title on Rosa Mendes...
ReplyDeleteI dont know what show you were watching but that Ambrose segment was horrible. The only reason the crowd popped was because they were happy to see John Cena get some help against the heels.... I think the Ambrose vs Rollins fued has a lot of steam and now the WWE fans want to see John Cena get revenge on that disgusting Seth Rollins for costing him the WWE Title...The only guys that boo John Cena are the guys who are jealous of him because their girlfriends love him.... Real fans love and respect John Cena and either way he gets a reaction..All I heard were the usual dueling Lets go Cena/Cena sux chants....Not once did I hear a we want Ambrose chant...
ReplyDeleteU had me goin there for a min.
ReplyDeleteTHIS GUY, I TELL YOU WHAT, THIS GUY RIGHT HERE GETS IT
ReplyDeleteCowher's all but implied he's happy doing what he's doing, where he gets to be with his family for most of the week and Gruden pretty much has a cushy, well-paying job where he doesn't need to slum to any bottom-feeder coaching job.
ReplyDeleteUh oh.
ReplyDeleteI cant speak for everyone but I for one was very happy to see the rock on raw. It was shocking and entertaining and that's all u could ask for. Its just very frustrating that wwe keeps giving these awesome promos and definitive title victories to part timers instead of their own full time roster. But o well what can u do. And ill say it again I ENJOYED THE SEGMENT
ReplyDeleteShe had potential when she started out, but she's green as fuck on RAW, getting exposed every time out. I think they need to demote her back down and call up Charlotte.
ReplyDeleteGoing where? To WWE Headquarters to go demand a Rosa Mendes Title run?
ReplyDeleteIt seems less like "doing it in the spirit of Bryan while he's gone" and more like "leeching the chant is the only way I can get a pop"
ReplyDeleteRemember when stephanie was being such a bitch to brie and they had they're match and stephanie got what was coming to her? Yea me neither. Instead we get this fucking bella twin fued. That's almost wcw level stupid to me. If the end game is nicki winning and joining the authority then it will be wcw level stupid.
ReplyDeleteHow did you find your way here?
ReplyDeleteNikki's actually improved in the ring.
ReplyDeleteIve frequented the blog of doom for a few years now....Do I know you from somewhere? BTW great SN, I still think Virgil should be in the HOF
ReplyDeleteThe thing with the Divas being unable to get into character is that many of them were never given a character. Some of them don't even get last names, unlike Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, etc. Instead, the women are one-dimensional fantasy figures for men: Summer, Cameron, Layla, Paige, etc. And as you'd expect from that, the only attempts at character depth the women get are Crazy, Bitchy, Stuck-Up, Nice, Quirky, and Really Crazy. That's why they're taught to cat-fight more than they're taught to wrestle, and why they're not written like real women. As much as I appreciate the resemblance to the old days of G.L.O.W., it'd be nice if they actually put some more thought into the Divas division.
ReplyDeleteI didn't watch Raw last night and by the sounds of it I can check out Rock on the DVR and be all set. Cool.
ReplyDeleteNot a good episode tonight. I was disappointed in last weeks but still thought it was decent. I thought this one was actively bad. They are starting to set up some interesting things for the future but many things still aren't working.
ReplyDeleteI have no complaints about The Rock's segment, and really don't understand why anyone else would either.
ReplyDeleteRusev isn't going to suffer from it. Getting beat up by Big Show or even Sheamus seemingly at random would be one thing, but this was THE ROCK. He's an even bigger superhero in WWE Universe than Cena. And yes, Rock is starting to look old in the face, but he's still built like he's in his prime and he was WWE champion not too long ago. He's not any old part-timer. This wasn't Hogan or HBK or Rikishi beating up Rusev. The Rock can still go. This reminded me a bit of Jericho's WWE debut. Yeah, he "lost" the segment, but the fact that they put him in there with The Rock told you that he was going to be important.
Don't mind him he's just a whiny troll.
ReplyDeleteAt the neckbeard and then work your way down
ReplyDeleteI thought so...Once I read his comment comparing Ambrose/Rollins to Austin/Michaels, I knew he was a troll.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think with the WWE title scene on the backburner they'd actually put some effort into the midcard straps, but instead we got the usual 'the challenger beats the champion' to start an instafeud (Miz/Sheamus). Why couldn't they give Ziggler or Sheamus some mic time and develop something meaningful? Sadly this is proof that midcard titles are dead as a dodo with no chance of a ressurgance. I can't remember a year when the world title has been out of commission for so long for decent stretches, yet there has been no elevation at all. This is why Raw drags so much (other than being three hours). There is absolutely nothing of value to invest in outside the main event stuff.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't had a cosistently good troll since the Elvy days, this guy has potential. There is definitely a spot to be filled!
ReplyDeleteI don't recall the dueling chants after Ambrose made the save.
ReplyDeleteOh he's trolling. Sorry it's early people!
ReplyDeleteForget Cena - I'll wager they're setting Rusev up for a Wrestlemania match with Rock, aka GI Joe, a Real American Hero. And I think I'm okay with that.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, the only things I'll remember from this boring-ass show is that Ambrose is still awesome, and Emaa apparently still has a job.
That's...brilliant.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess that Cell rumor is legit, eh? Oh well. Pretty cool that Ambrose attacked Cena at the end, he's still being booked incredibly.
ReplyDeleteEdge and Christian Smackdown clip show was great.
ReplyDeleteAnd Sandow ruling Brooklyn.
ReplyDelete"Hey Emma, did you win the IC title at a house show or something? Just wondering..."
ReplyDeleteThe mini match and the Kathie Lee/Hoda Lee segments made me long for the return of the wrestling bunny.
ReplyDeleteThen Cena and Rock can feud again. This time over who appreciates soldiers and America more.
ReplyDeleteConsidering Hoda and Kathie Lee are shitfaced at ten in the morning I'm kind of amazed they were still functional at 9 at night.
ReplyDelete"It's a shame the fans don't care about the Bellas, because the story isn't actually bad."
ReplyDeleteWhy is it the fans fault? The whole thing has been a disaster because Brie comes off so horribly that no one wants to cheer her. It's a shame that they didn't give this story to better actors and better talkers because then the fans might be interested.
We've reached 411 levels of garbage comments
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Sure if Cena won it would suck but it still sets us up for some mystery leading up to the PPV.
ReplyDeleteProbably passed out for six hours and then just woke up and went right to Raw.
ReplyDeleteWhat's more egregious about it is that watching there's no excuse to be squandering the midcard titles SO BADLY. If the roster were thin, I could understand the titles losing some value by proxy. But they've got a boatload of talent on the main roster floundering without direction each week, a slew of injured guys preparing to return to action, and an entire developmental league with stars who could be brought up to the main roster tomorrow and flourish. Instead, they fill the show with kitsch crap (midget bull vs. midget gator), two-too many Divas angles (while simultaneously not allowing the Divas who CAN work to ACTUALLY work), and more recaps and replays than actual wrestling time.
ReplyDeleteHow fucking hard is it to establish midcard titles? Cesaro and Sheamus in what limited doses we got last month was pretty damn good, and the Miz/Ziggler feud had its moments, despite Miz's limitations. You have workers that can work and THREE HOURS of airtime; they just refuse to do the sensible thing to spite themselves and us together.
I don't wholly blame this on Creative; neither Nikki or Brie have the ability to genuinely connect with the crowd well enough to carry the feud, and so it's died a horrible death for the last three months. If Brie had the charisma and ability of a Trish or Lita (or even an AJ), then they probably build to a more satisfying conclusion. Notice over the last few weeks that the Bella feud has gotten considerably less focus than last month, being buried deep in the second hour with far less fanfare.
ReplyDeleteThe Wyatts breaking up is like the Powers of Pain breaking up to go singles. I think they will have a comparable amount of success.
ReplyDeleteSo they will both beat Tito Santana, and that's pretty much it?
ReplyDeleteHer rack has improved by leaps and bounds. Coincidentally it also looks better when she leaps and bounds.
ReplyDelete