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Next PPV main event (advertising)

Thought I'd pass this along Scott, from the Observe:

"There is advertising already out in Memphis for the Fast Lane PPV on 2/22, which is the first show after Royal Rumble, listing John Cena & Roman Reigns vs. Big Show & Seth Rollins as the main event."

That sounds so damn stale and gives us an indication of the Rumble winner :/ 
Not having fun Maggle.

​Sounds exactly like I expected, just a lame and noncommittal tag match.  I really don't even know why they bother with the February PPV at this point.  ​

Comments

  1. Card Subject To Change

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  2. I kept waiting last night for him to turn that into a dig on Lesnar for currently doing the exact same thing he was threatening to do. It didn't even seem like that was supposed to be a subtle implication. I...I just don't know anymore.
    And after his promos the last two shows (I still never saw the Smackdown one, but I've heard enough)....are they trolling the shit out of us and turning Reigns heel? They should. There's still a ton of potential in the dude, but the way they've shaped his character for now has killed his megaface push dead as fuck.

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  3. In Lesnar's case, the WWE World Champion wasn't staying home by choice. It was just that Creative didn't have anything for him.

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  4. After his promos the last two shows....are they trolling the shit out of us and turning Reigns heel? They should. There's still a ton of potential in the dude, but the way they've shaped his character for now has killed his megaface push dead as fuck. Turn him heel to heat him back up and keep him at the top of the card, and try again with the face push in a year. Or maybe he actually takes off as a heel. Who knows.

    I don't know how many long, awful, scripted promos and 15-minute, normally structured matches they need him to do before they realize how badly they're fucking him over, but I'd say it's been enough at this point.

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  5. Can't have this topic without the song!


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVj61ZX_8Cs

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  6. I don't think that provides any clue as to the Rumble winner or the winner of the title match either.

    It does tell us who four of the current WWE main eventers are. Which we already knew. And nothing more.

    Shit main event, yes.

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  7. "That sounds so damn stale and gives us an indication of the Rumble winner :/ "


    No reason to worry. They will rewrite the script to Royal Rumble 20 times before the event, just like they have been doing for everyshow recently.

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  8. Stupid Authority angle.

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  9. Doesn't February PPV's do decent business anyway because people are hyped for Wrestlemania? But yeah, with a main event like that they might as well not bother having a PPV this year.

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  10. Maybe this means that they are going for cena as champ and reigns winning the rumble, and 'can they coexist as a team' (like cena/rock).

    Or, Bryan wins the rumble, and reigns v big show will be for wrestlemania...

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  11. I at least hope for an interesting rumble in the sense of cool spots and certain wrestlers also getting a chance to look strong.

    2015 needs to be better than 2014

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  12. You just can't not come off like a pretentious douche. It's really impressive. Every word of this is dripping with fat guy in a silk button up shirt under tones.

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  13. This. Terrible main event that just might be bad enough to make me skip a show I'm already paying for, but I don't think it gives anything away re: Rumble winner. Batista won the Rumble last year and wrestled ADR in some fuckaround midcard match at Elimination Chamber.

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  14. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 6:43 AM

    You guys are missing the point, the WWE is giving us what we want! Think about Reigns and his promos: we obviously all dislike the PG Era, right? We want it gone, right? Well that's exactly what the WWE is giving us.

    The nursery rhyme promos are a clue. We're preparing to head to the G Era.

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  15. Yep. The Rock wrestled Bog Shoe (typo, keeping it!) at the 2000 Feb PPV, for "official Rumble winner" too.

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  16. In the old days the top heel loses and said heel leaves the company for 6 months. Today the top heel loses at Mania and Survivor Series and they never leave. Why the fuck would I want to watch to see the Authority lose when I've seen them loses several times now.

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  17. They have had the Elimination Chamber as a hook recently. This is Battleground beyond as a throw away show.

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  18. "WWE is on the Fast Lane.. to bankruptcy"

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  19. Whoever the winner is, I just hope the Rumble itself is a good one. I'm a huge, huge Rumble nerd, but the last three have been really dull. Number 1 has made it to the end the last three years. Bit too predictable. 2012 had fun elements and a good finish, but 2013 and 2014 were really DULL (except for the fans revolting last year). I'm hoping for some imagination!

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  20. WWE just signed new merchandising deals with Playskool and Huggies.

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  21. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 6:56 AM

    Maybe Vince wants to "test" Reigns with these shitty-ass promos,to see if he really "wants" the spot.It's the only explanation I can come up with.

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  22. "can't not" means that he can.

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  23. I do think they intentionally give guys lame material sometimes just to see if they can get it over, or get themselves over in spite of it, more accurately. But that's not what this feels like with Reigns. It almost feels like they're giving up altogether on the 18-49 males accepting him and trying to make every woman and child in the audience adore him.

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  24. If anything, Daniel Bryan's declarative "I'm winning the Rumble" promo gives me more hope for him than this February PPV does dread that it'll be Reigns.

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  25. So.... Big Show knocked-out Reigns last night?

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  26. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:05 AM

    If true,it gives a nice insight to what they think of women.

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  27. I think you could have Paul Heyman go out and fart into a mic on live TV, and that alone would eclipse a lot of what you saw in 2014. Especially from mid-April on.

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  28. No it doesn't.

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  29. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:11 AM

    I'm secretly holding out hope that while Daniel Bryan goes #1 in the Royal Rumble and goes coast to coast, Finn Bálor will get a chance to debut in the Rumble (I really don't want to see Baron Corbin get the shot, which is what I think will happen). If you use Bálor's crazy entrance for the debut, it'd need to be done at the start to account for time, otherwise the dude's entire entrance would take up the 90-second/2-minute period. Let Finn and Bryan beat the shit out of each other to our delight, then let Finn go for thirty minutes to give him some credibility.

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  30. This leads me to the real question: What, exactly, will this "Fast Lane" match be? I figured it'd be Beat the Clock on PPV. Or is this just a Nascar-themed show that somehow ties in with Daytona? Is there even a theme or a themed match on this PPV?

    Ugh, who cares. I'm going back to bed.

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  31. When it gets 45K buys, the lemmings will still declare it a success.

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  32. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:18 AM

    The days when wrestling and NASCAR went together like rednecks and beer are over. Even NASCAR fans, homely as they are, are smart enough to avoid this shit. We're all here because we're junkies looking for a fix, any fix.

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  33. I think this PPV is so dead they may as well just abandon it. Most people who sub for the Rumble wouldn't bother unsubbing then resubbing for Mania, I don't think. People who don't sub all the time are likely to join up for the whole Mania season or just Mania itself, so this isn't going to draw anyone in ever.

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  34. Haha, I suppose. If anything, I get off on this the same way I get off on watching a terrible movie. At this point, you can't help but just laugh.

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  35. I bet Daniel Bryan gets #1...and lasts until the end. Sorry to burst your bubble.

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  36. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    Would you say that FAST LANE will lead to.......a CAR CRASH?

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  37. I'd be all for that if going the distance from number 1 or 2 wasn't so overdone. Yes, they don't always win, but someone has started the Rumble and still been there at the end in 1993, 1995, 1999, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2009, 2012, 2013 and 2014. It's lost wow factor. I want something new.

    Plus, I'm not a fan of Finn's entrance. I'm a cranky old fart so I don't like OTT choreography and nonsense. Give me Austin striding to the ring swearing anyway :)

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  38. *Only* from mid-April on.
    Give 2014 what little due it's owed, the first 3-4 months were pretty awesome before everything went to hell.

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  39. Yes I would Kent.

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  40. This is going to be the biggest main event in Fast Lane's history!

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  41. The only instance HHH would ever mention CM Punk on TV is when he's bringing up all the times he has beaten Punk and how his skinny fat ass couldn't make it IN THIS BUSINESS.

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  42. Finn's entrance is the crowning achievement in human history. The list: 1. Finn Balor's entrance 2. Seriously, nothing else is even close.
    I agree that going the distance is overdone, but introducing a brand-new character with that trope is not. It's risky, though, because if the audience farts on it, then what?

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  43. No chance that's the actual main event..... also can't believe they actually went with 'Fast Lane'. Just a dumb excuse for someone to say "join us on the Fast Lane to Wrestlemania!". He's so clever that Vince McMahon

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  44. Fast Lane is an awful PPV name. Main event should be a scramble match like they did at Unforgiven 2008 to sort of justify the name.

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  45. Last year marked the first time I've ever paid for a February PPV, solely because I was so fired up for Shield vs. Wyatts.

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  46. I expect The Authority will force him to be number 1. "Haha - you'll never win", they'll say. Even though numbers 1 and 2 have more winners than numbers 3-17 combined.

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  47. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:35 AM

    I wonder which team will win and which one will.....HIT THE ROAD.

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  48. If it's a success, Cena, Reigns and Show will get the credit. If it bombs, Seth Rollins will be going on job duty.

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  49. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:35 AM

    Lemmings falling off the FAST LANE,AMIRITE?!

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  50. If this is true, I'm hoping it means Bryan wins The Rumble and him/Brock is completely separated from all of this business. Then you can do Reigns/Rollins (and maybe Ambrose to make it a 3-way) at Mania and have Cena face Rusev.

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  51. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:37 AM

    All the lanes lead to Roman Reigns!

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  52. Get ready for Cole...


    "We're rolling into the Fast Lane, on the Road to WrestleMania!"

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  53. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    "The road to Wrestlemania has no speed limits Maggle!"

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  54. I read an article the other day about how being down 4 with the ball at the end of a football game has a higher win probability than being down 3, and this reminds me of that: I want to write a "kayfabermetrics" column for P2B in addition to my sporadic essay-style stuff, where I just write about total nonsense advanced wrestling metrics within the confines of kayfabe. A piece on the counterintuitive success of early Rumble entrants would be a good place to start. Just make shit up about why, statistically, starting it off is actually advantageous as opposed to starting somewhere in the middle.

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  55. If they're "required viewing", maybe you all should pay for it? Then maybe we'll get more NJPW on American PPV and more English commentary.

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  56. What they should have done is have Cena stalk each member of the Authority and leave them knocked out and bleeding. Start with J&J, then Kane, then Big Show, all the while HHH and Steph get more and more concerned. Eventually HHH makes it to the ring with Rollins, only to see Steph on the video screen with Cena and, I don't know, a bunch of Divas ready to kill Steph dead. "You have one chance, Hunter - rehire those guys, or your wife goes for a ride in a dumpster." Boom, turnabout is fair play.

    Okay, I know, this would have worked during the Attitude era but not now. What we're getting though is just terrible.

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  57. I'd like Finn's entrance if Austin gave him a stunner as soon as he finished clowning around.

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  58. Hey, do you like Stone Cold Steve Austin? I can't tell.

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  59. At the rate they're going, the main event of Fast Lane will be Rollins vs. Cena in a Seinfeld style footrace, with guest timekeeper Michael Richards.


    They can do a backstage skit where he has an awkward encounter with A New Day.

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  60. If they really want to make it as boring as possible, they can also add a Kane/Orton match. Which they will.

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  61. Dean Ambrose is pulled over for speeding in the WWE "Fast Lane." He goes to court to contest the ticket. The judge rules against Ambrose, but his gavel slips out of his hands and hits Ambrose in the head. Dazed, Ambrose staggers around the courtroom where the bailiff is revealed to be Bray Wyatt, who hits Sister Abigail for the pin.


    I'm sorry...I couldn't resist.

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  62. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:53 AM

    We could certainly use a ROAD STOP in the FAST LANE.

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  63. So you're saying despite the name of the PPV, WWE will make sure all their matches are slow and plodding?

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  64. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:54 AM

    Even on the FAST LANE,one must adhere to speed limits.

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  65. John Cena is wrestling Randy Orton on RAW. He hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, pauses, turns to the camera in close-up and asks, "Do YOU know what move I will do next to finish the match?"


    (Pause for child to guess and answer the TV)


    That's right! The Attitude Adjustment! Good job!!!

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  66. I like how it takes Wyatt 20+ minutes and a plethora of weapons in an Ambulance match, or 26 minutes and an exploding TV in a TLC match to beat Ambrose, but Rusev beats Ambrose in under 5 minutes. They sure are building Bray up strong for Taker!

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  67. I said it before, they should just alternate between NXT and do a PPV every other month.

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  68. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:59 AM

    It's still funny to me, damn it!

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  69. Fast Lane to me will always be that failed TV show with Bill Bellamy.

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  70. If you wrote that, I would read it!

    I'm just not sure if the WWE realise that being assigned number 1 does not make anyone think "he'll never win". In fact, it makes me think "he'll be there at the end". Case in point - if Benoit (2004) or Rey (2006) came in at number 12 I would have been WAY more shocked that they won.

    I'd love them to start reinforcing the original adage of the "luck of the draw"

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  71. Ugh, fucking Crockett being an awful businessman. Now we're left with this garbage. I'd rather hang out with Flo from Progressive than suffer through this shit.

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  72. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:02 AM

    What if I want to travel in the HOV lane to Wrestlemania? Maybe I want to be more environmentally responsible on my way to Wrestlemania.

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  73. Who would've thought when Big Show debuted at the February 1999 PPV that he'd be headlining the February 2015 PPV?

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  74. Haha - I'm a fan of a no-nonsense approach. I don't like choreographed entrances. This ain't ballet.

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  75. Judging by the length of the original contract he was given, Vince did

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  76. Jokes on you. The Authority never REALLY loses. Silly Mohammed. Hurry back to Tunisia!

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  77. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:06 AM

    You know, Vince always talks about how he's not in the "wrestling" business anymore, and that's the stuff his dad did, but then he keeps a Giant around for 16 years in or around the main event (which is totally a carny thing to do). He still has a pro wrestling-like mentality to a lot of things he does, he just won't admit it.

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  78. Original contract was 10 years, wasn't it? We're on year 16 of Big Show.

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  79. I'd like to hang out with Flo from Progressive than quite a few things. And not just hang out with her. I'd like to do other things as well.

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  80. Fast Lane surely sounds like the most horrible PPV. December to Dismembet? Please. TLC&S? What's that? Uncensored 96? Heroes of Wrestling? The worst PPV is whatever the next one is. Because nothing is middling and everything is the worst ever. Surge for everybody!

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  81. NJPW premieres on the AXS network this Friday night at 8/9. Check it out!

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  82. Crazy talk. Are you trying to convince me that an athletic promotion can build up two people or teams as unstoppable badasses, put them in competition with each other, and people will pay to see it?

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  83. I really wish NJPW made it easier for Americans to pay for their product. I try my best to, but it's a convoluted process. The learning curve would be a bit steep for people not already sold on it.

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  84. ROMAN REIGNS IS IN THE FAST LANE MAGGLE, LOOK AT HIM GO! CHANGING LANES WITHOUT A SIGNAL, REVVING HIS ENGINE! THIS IS WHAT FAST LANE IS ALL ABOUT MAGGLE!

    (said after a hot tag to Reigns)

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  85. Sadly, I don't get that channel.

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  86. And what about THE VIPER? THE APEX PREDATOR? Will BROCK be a shock entrant - something that nobody has discussed as a possibility? Or Cena? Or Rollins - could he win the title AND win the Rumble AND also be the MITB winner? KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!


    Bray Wyatt is prominent on the poster - could this be his year? And what about the returning Sheamus? Or will the Insane Comb-over, Dean Ambrose, win the Rumble as part of an ultimate revenge plan at WM against possible WWE title holder Rollins? Maybe as a THREE-WAY with Reigns? THE SHIELD EXPLODES! WWE GETS REIGNS IN THE MAIN EVENT! We get a less sucky match!


    And what about STING?


    Honestly, the amount of possibilities that I can think up off the top of my head in 2 minutes makes me wonder how anyone can declare this Road To Wrestlemania to be predictable.


    I entirely reserve the right however to say "Fuck this company", the day after the Rumble, if necessary. But something tells me that after last year, they've got a Special Game Plan, and I for one am excited to find out what.

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  87. CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!

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  88. I wonder how many roadkill puns will be made by the 3 stooges at the announce table.

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  89. Yep, once Evolution officially reformed, the whole shit house went up in flames.

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  90. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:25 AM

    Reigns: "This Sunday at Fast Lane, you're going to look frizzled, Seth. Because I have a Magic School Bus full of pain waiting for you! Toot Toot!"

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  91. Triple H: You know, with this WWE SPECIAL (tm) called "Fast Lane", I can't help but think that Daniel Bryan is the Ford Pinto of cars.

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  92. Give us a Daily Update Bayless! I don't think I can take many more Fast Lane puns!

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  93. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:31 AM

    So you're saying you want Bayless to... speed it up?


    #LifeintheFastLane

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  94. You win this round, Kensington!

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  95. Eh, I think the Evolution/Shield feud was the only good thing still going after Bryan's injury. As much as I think they did need to break up before the year is over, if not exactly when they did, the end of the Shield in June was really the turning point.

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  96. In the music video for the song, Eddie Money kinda looks like Roddy Piper in "They Live." http://youtu.be/-RR6xJ0gWH8

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  97. Oh yeah?! Well, how did Daniel Bryan's knee taste at WM last year, sucka!!!

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  98. John Cena: GET HYPED, we're just two weeks away from ~!FAST LANE!~ The Authority is like a long limousine, cause they too snobby and poo-poo grey poupon to let anyone in with them. They only care about money. But y'all know that I'm a minivan, cause whereever I go, no matter how bumpy the ride may be, the WWE Universe can ride with me.

    *Seth Rollins interrupts*

    Seth: Sorry, John, but heading into fast lane it looks like your gonna have a few flat tires and some serious damage to the body. Cause tonight, your facing off against a man with a lift-kit installed--the big show!

    *Paul Heyman interrupts*

    Paul: Seems you two are forgetting about my client, the Monster Truck of professional wrestlers, BROOOCCK LESSSNAR*

    *Crowd "WHATs"*

    Undertaker: How about you say "What?" if you drive a PT Cruiser.

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  99. I bet we get Big Show vs Bryan at Wrestlemania.

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  100. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:34 AM

    Does Zack Ryder finally get his rematch against that flat tire at Fast Lane?

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  101. No matter how shitty June-December is, I'm always willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on the Mania buildup. Even the build to, say, WM27 was mostly fun to watch even though the show ended up sucking.

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  102. Oooh Monster Trucks! That's a new match for Ambrose to job in.

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  103. Well, Cena wins the Rumble and Rollins the title?

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  104. Yeah it was 10 years. Crazy contract. Shows how badly Vince wanted to sign the guy.

    My personal Big Show highlight was when he swung Rey into the post while he was strapped to a back board and Rey landed on his head. Well, that or the time when The Authority made him cry. Either is good - both badass moments

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  105. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:39 AM

    Ascension:We're better than BMW and Mercedes!

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  106. Theberzerker Von HUSSingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:40 AM

    "I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that. They’re completely imaginary." -CM Punk, during the Pipebomb promo in 2011.
    Hmmmmmmmmm...

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  107. Well instead of watching that crappy ass Fast Lane PPV. I am going to play this game instead!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDSooYsolAs

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  108. Roman Reigns has grabbed more brass rings than Punk. In fact, he just grabbed another brass ring in the time it took me to write that sentence.

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  109. I don't think the World Champ should be on the February PPV ever. I'm fine with keeping them on the slow build to Wrestlemania,


    They should really use the February PPV as an opportunity to get the #1 contender one more win to give them momentum and use it to get over the mid-card. Like wouldn't this be a surprisingly decent card (assuming Bryan vs. Lesnar is the WM Main Event):


    Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins (Just let these guys go at it, Rollins pushes him to keep him viable as a post WM opponent by Bryan wins clean)


    IC Title - Elimination Chamber Match: Wade Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger vs. Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan vs. The Miz (Spend a lot of your RAW time hyping this match and the title being a coveted prize as everyone wants to establish themselves as the next guy knocking on the door to the main event)


    John Cena vs. Big Show (Short and sweet, Cena beats him in 6-7 minutes to reestablish momentum after losing at the Rumble)


    Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose d. Bray Wyatt & Kane (Kane does the job, if the rumors that they're prepping Wyatt for a possible Taker match at WM are true, an alliance w/ Demon Kane could make some sense here)


    US Title - Rusev vs. Ryback (Glorified squash. Rusev is in a little trouble but wins with relative ease)


    Tag Title - The Usos vs. The Ascension (Usos retain, back to jobber town for Ascension)


    NXT Title - Sami Zayn vs. Adrian Neville (Get these guys and NXT some main roster exposure. Plus what would be a better opener than this. They'd kill it).


    Divas Title - Nikki vs. Natalya (just filler, maybe even pre-show filler)

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  110. Theberzerker Von HUSSingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    Yeah, they're all around Vince's dick.

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  111. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    WWE Fast Lane is as apropos a name as any, I guess. This whole promotion is a colossal backfire.

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  112. Bryan v Kane at WM. This time it's personal because this time Kane will be wearing a mask.

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  113. I hate your idea because it involves more screen-time for Cena. That's like eight segments on a RAW!

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  114. HEY PAL I HEARD THIS GREAT NEW SONG TO NAME OUR FEBRUARY NETWORK SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT SPECIAL EVENT!


    Uh, that's great Vince. Is it Kanye West?


    NO! DON HENLEY!

    ReplyDelete
  115. Sexy Flexy Biff KensingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    We need to give up the hope of seeing NXT guys truly showcased on the main roster. Vince and Dunn have a petty grudge against the whole deal, so we might as well let that one go.

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  116. There was a recent Megadeth track called Fast Lane. It wasn't very good.

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  117. I hate the Mountie.

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  118. Theberzerker Von HUSSingtonJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    They won't squander Bryan, they'll squander Ambrose instead. I'm officially calling Ambrose/Kane at Mania.

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  119. WWE presents: FAST LAME

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  120. the fuck does "The Miz over Patera, and Jannetty over Muraco" mean?

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  121. Rollins and Bryan fought a couple times in ROH. Each match was incredible and an easy 4 *s each. I can't recommend enough trying to find them.

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  122. I know you're 100% correct, but it's so depressing.


    Like how much more palatable would a three hour RAW be if first segment you just let a couple NXT guys from the Zayn/Neville/Breeze/Kidd/Itami/Balor/Owens group go at it or have one of them take on one of the guys at the bottom of the main roster who are doing nothing.


    What would get a crowd primed more than Zayn opening a show at this point.


    Then you throw in a squash or two. Maybe the Divas segment and you build to the "real shit" happening at 9PM. That's kind of what Nitro used to do. And they ran a successful three hours for a couple years. Plus it builds anticipation for whatever the real shit is that night.

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  123. That's exactly what I'm hoping is going to happen. He's the clear successor to HHH as the 'cerebral assassin'. Remember when Regal was GM *and* KOTR (before that story was cut short)? Something like that again would be fantastic, like you say, he'd 'win wrestling'.


    I can't emphasise enough how much I'm loving everything that Rollins is doing just lately. His interactions with the Authority like he's their spoiled and undeserving son is GOLD.

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  124. My favorite Big Show highlight was when I went to a live event and saw him in person. You know, you don't realize the size of that man until you see him in person.

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  125. I would pay the PPV price for that.

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  126. Oprah NoodlemantraJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    I pre-emptively hate Cole for this...

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  127. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:51 AM

    This made me chuckle.

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  128. Oprah NoodlemantraJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kCI3zPPwBc

    Related...

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  129. I hear he has frying pans for hands.

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  130. He does, but they aren't as impressive as the carcinogenic right hands of the Undertaker

    ReplyDelete
  131. Oprah NoodlemantraJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:54 AM

    "We're telling (poorly thought out) stories, MAGGLE~!"

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  132. You sound like jesse baker bro

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  133. No you wouldn't.


    Although I really want WWE's production team making a good promo out of Ryder vs. the flat tire.

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  134. Over/Under on number of "(blank) is in the Fast Lane to Wrestlemania, Maggle!": 13.5

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  135. I was actually thinking Heyman would've been the perfect guy to do it, and it was right there last night. When he said the "future starts when Brock says it does," I would've said, "The future? Sure, Rollins is the future. My client will get bored and leave for good someday. Maybe when he outlasts CM Punk's title reign."

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  136. I sound like Jesse Baker? How do you figure? Did I even suggest ONCE that Cena sodomize Steph on live TV????

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  137. I seriously can't get his dumb voice and drawl out of my head. This company said Jim Ross was too southern for broadcast!!! Wtf. He killed the NJPW ppv

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  138. Or even just be (sorta) subtle about it and say "Maybe on day 435 of his title reign, he'll give it back."

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  139. Not for Wrestle Kingdom 9; it was available on every major US provider just like any normal wrestling, MMA, or boxing PPV.

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  140. Over. Way over. Like, they'll pass that on the Raw leading into the PPV.

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  141. I'd watch a WWE Film about David Otunga suing Vince over the Undertaker's punches causing an abnormally high rate of cancer among WWE employees.

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  142. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 9:08 AM

    HAHAHA at Ambrose having a match at Wrestlemania.

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  143. It just reads like one of his creepy stories. People beaten bloody, mysterious perportrator, big reveal with threatened violence between a man and a woman, group of others ready to kill said woman. Not hating just pointing out I had to do a double take after reading it to make sure you weren't him lol

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  144. Okay, point taken. :)

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  145. Well, if were WWE I'd argue that if you step in the ring with a guy named The Undertaker who is known for casket and buried alive matches, you should be aware that your survival rate is slim.

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  146. So my cable company doesn't seem to be showing Wrestle Kingdom anymore. Does New Japan World have the JR English version on demand? I want to see the show, but I want/need the English commentary.

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  147. Watch what you say or they'll have Cole start referring to Cena and Reigns as the Boys of Summer.

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  148. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieJanuary 13, 2015 at 9:19 AM

    Ah I actually watched these! Both were really good MOTYC, but I don't think either will win, neither of them had that 'it' factor that a MOTY has. Very very very good wrestling though,had a ball watching Wrestle Kingdom from start to finish.

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  149. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieJanuary 13, 2015 at 9:19 AM

    referencing the IC tournament on the blog I assume

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  150. Every RAW I watch I hope will be the Last Worthless Evening.

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  151. They don't want Cena to quit, as they specifically did not want him fired for the Survivor Series match. They just screw with Cena because they're HEELS!, I guess. I haaaaaaate any and all angles with authority figures. They're tired. I'm tired. If you think about them at all, they're stupid. Sigh.

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  152. When fantasy booking involves Cena vs Show you know things are bleak.

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  153. That actually doesn't tell us anything about the Rumble Winner.

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  154. Well, if history's any indicator, if someone's in a world title match they won't be in the Rumble, and you'd expect the Rumble winner to probably be in the main event of the next PPV, so that eliminates Cena and Rollins. So you're left with Reigns and Show, and Show ain't winning.... All conjecture of course.

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  155. Who are all the plausible Rumble winners at this point?


    Reigns
    Bryan


    Is there anyone else? Rusev? Maybe Orton?

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  156. No, but english language version shouldn't be difficult to find online.

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  157. It's gonna have to be some match to top these.

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  158. Oh, totally. I get your point now. For some reason, I thought you meant like random NJPW shows throughout the year.

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  159. Must... not... complain...

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  160. The Jap Universe are having fun, Striker, I love it hahaha!

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  161. Your comment implies that they only made him cry once.

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  162. What we need is some kind of ... "super" bowl

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  163. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogJanuary 13, 2015 at 9:55 AM

    I don't think it would be a horrible change of pace if Rusev was to win the Rumble in dominant fashion and Cena regained the title from Lesnar. Build to Cena-Lesnar for the WWE Title, with the monster heel challenging this time around. Leaves you open to figure out some configuration of Reigns, Bryan, Rollins, Orton, that doesn't blow goats.

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  164. he's as douchey as Ohio State fans.

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  165. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogJanuary 13, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    I'm guessing the set for "Fast Lane" involves a bunch of cars at the entryway. One of which will inevitably factor into the finish of the main event. So, so bad, but not as bad as an exploding TV or a hologram

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  166. I don't know why, but I can't help but laugh every time somebody types "fast lane" in all caps

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  167. It wasn't so much the company as it was Bonnie Hammer, head of USA Network.


    You'll notice that the moment Raw went back to USA, Vince was back on television and Ross was IMMEDIATELY taken off TV a week later.

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  168. Fast Lane? Hmmmm.

    I don't want to get everyone too excited, but could this mean the return of...

    BOB "SPARKPLUG" HOLLY! START YOUR ENGINES!

    He never did get that win back from Brock

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  169. Ken Patera was horrible.

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  170. I felt Ibushi/Nakamura was significantly better than Tanahashi/Okada. Even with the 45 frog splashes or whatever, I just couldn't buy into Tanahashi/Okada as a ***** affair. Very good match, but Ibushi/Nakamura had that epic feel and better drama (though less crowd heat).

    Okada is legit though.

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  171. WWE: Skid Mark?

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  172. WatercoolersandAirportsJanuary 13, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    HEY PAL HAVE HEARD THIS TOM WAITS FELLA HIS HAS A PEACHY KEEN NEW SONG CALLED "LIFE IS A HIGHWAY" LET"S USE IT FOR OUR FAST LANE SPECIAL EVENT!!!

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  173. They've played fast and loose with that rule before, so theres no guarantee, really.

    Remember - anything can happen in the wwe

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  174. I actually love Megadeth but the last REALLY good album was in 1993.

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  175. You guys have never had to deal with a corporate job and a corporate boss, I take it.

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  176. WatercoolersandAirportsJanuary 13, 2015 at 10:51 AM

    I WANT HIM TO DO THE TOOT TOOT MOTION TOO!!!!!

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  177. The Rumble winner was in a mid card match against Del Rio on the February PPV last year.

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  178. Them hating Cena in the first place is ridiculous.

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  179. Dock Muraco sucks. Bring back Justin Baisden.

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  180. I remember being a child while Hogan was Champ. And I remember how rarely you'd see Hogan and when you did....oh boy was it gonna be something special. Not only did you get to see Hogan, you got to see the champ, which was often worth waiting for.

    Man I miss those days.

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  181. I said 2 years ago that Brock should have just murdered everyone, win the title, throw it in the GARBAGE can because he just wants to kill people, until Taker comes to the rescue.

    Under that angle, we still have a fighting champion on TV. Wish they would have ran with it.

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  182. Agreed. Tanahashi/Okada was really slow to get going.

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  183. This is the problem they screw themselves into with the whole sports entertainment/scripted story crap. Eventually, you convolute everything to the point where things stop making sense. At the root, there is really no reason for the Authority to hate Cena and vice versa.
    Wrestling only needs three angles, you just change up the who and the what:
    1. I want to prove I'm better than you/I want to be the champ
    2. I want revenge because you said something I don't like you /beat up or took advantage of me or an ally
    3. My ideology is different than yours, so let's fight.

    If you can come up with a good wrestling angle that isn't one (or a combination) of those three things, I'd love to hear it.

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  184. You don't need to have the champion around, it's not like the belt is the easiest heat device in wrestling.

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  185. I was just pondering this and I'm starting to think the belt may have been semi-retired because you can't 50/50 book the title without killing it dead. Well, deader.

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  186. For once in your life you're making sense.

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  187. He would tip his fedora at you, but he's afraid to stain it with his cheeto encrusted fingers.

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  188. I'm just glad they've finally figured out who the Authority wants as champion within kayfabe
    Preach! We never did figure out if Orton got that vote of confidence or not

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  189. I've been teaming with you successfully for some time, but I'm bored now. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  190. That's one of the classics! If I agree with you, then it's number 1, if I don't, it's number 3.

    ReplyDelete

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