Sunday, May 24, 2015

Rev Rock


As if The Rock wasn't already on the Mount Rushmore of Pure Awesomeness.

I don't think there is any argument that Rock is the greatest choice to officiate a wedding.  But which 3 wrestling personalities would you think would be the next best options?

My list:
  1. Macho Man - The guests wouldn't understand him, but he would raise his voice at just the right times
  2. Bobby Heenan - Just for the option to cut down every crazy member of the family
  3. Ric Flair - While he'd be looking WAY too closely at the bride, I think ultimately he'd do the right thing and go through with the ceremony.

Dead last would be Shawn Michaels, who would actually go through with what Ric Flair is thinking. 

​I think Bobby would be better suited to hosting the wedding or giving the best man speech.  Really I doubt anyone is going to top the Rock in this kind of battle.  I would definitely allow the Reverend Slick to officiate my wedding.  ​

1,000 comments:

  1. Loved, loved, loved the Hennig turn. One of the few times where the last minute change ended up making the match much more compelling than the original. It shows though that they didn't have a long-term plan for him. Payoff after it kind of fizzled, with Flair leaving the company and the focus of the WWF shifting from Flair/Perfect/Savage to that strange period that was 1993. Then Perfect got moved to Luger and ehhhh....


    I know re-booking WM9 is a popular topic, but I think a Flair vs Perfect Loser Leaves Town at WM9 would have been much more memorable than having it on RAW, if Vince and Flair could have worked an agreement.

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  2. And here I thought this was going to alert me to the existence of a Hart Foundation/Hennig vs Demolition six-man. :(

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  3. Ric Flair. Known for doing the right thing.

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  4. Perfect wedding: Howard finkel does the introductions, Eric bischoff in the old man makeup for the officiating, triple h breaks up the wedding ceremony

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  5. How did they get Hennig to agree to that at the last minute when he was riding his insurance payments? Money?

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  6. I was thinking the same thing

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  7. Sorry to disappoint.

    I also meant to say "won" and not "one". Yes, I get annoyed by my mistakes more than anyone.

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  8. I think what hurt Curt is that he wasn't the best fit as a face.

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  9. Maria Menononounounous

    Every wedding needs someone rattling on for 45 minutes about how much they're BFFs with Backlund

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  10. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 24, 2015 at 3:00 PM

    The gimmick was a terrible fit. No one named Mr. Perfect can be a babyface. I think Curt Hennig could have been.

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  11. Presumably after the Bulldogs/Harts match, the WWF competition committee got together and amended the rule. During the Demos/Brain Busters title change, Ventura explicitly states that the deciding fall is what matters in determining a title change.

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  12. I'd like to think that Jack Tunney signed the bill but put in an executive order that the deciding fall determined the change.

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  13. It's like there's not even a rule book for wrestling.

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  14. Roger Goodell would look at wrestling and say "these guys are just making up the rules to suit themselves!".

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  15. The Rock is reaching David Beckham levels of do-no-wrongness

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  16. Have to go with Scott Steiner on this

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  17. Why hasn't WWE booked something like this for Raw yet? "Do you take this candy-ass jabroni to be your husband? IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU TAKE HIM TO BE YOUR HUSBAND!!!!"

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  18. I'd have totally wanted Ted DiBiase to officiate my wedding.

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  19. Rick Rude.

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  20. ... and then laughing... that laugh...

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  21. Mundy has actually been doing these with Rock for a few years now. They are all pretty funny. There is also one where he interviews current WWE superstars and they all basically make fun of him being fat.



    What's funny is his wife is not bad looking at all. It just goes to show you; it doesn't matter how fat or ugly you are if you can make it in Hollywood. And I wouldn't say that Mundy has even made it yet.



    Though I did enjoy "Nothing to Report". Has anyone else watched his show with Jericho on Comedycentral.com?

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  22. I've solved the mystery. You're Shane Douglas.

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  23. http://www.tmz.com/2015/05/24/wwe-wrestlers-crash-wedding-roman-reigns-r-truth-jimmy-uso-bride



    roman reigns, r-truth and jimmy uso recently crashed a wedding

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  24. Macho Man doing a ceremony and making them say Oh Yeah at the vows and having them snap ibto a Slim Jim for communion is something that needs to happen

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  25. I always saw that 2nd fall of Harts-Demos as the ref deeming it a three count instead of a dq, since Crush stopped his hand from coming down a third time. No one ever actually said dq, did they?

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  26. AverageJoeEverymanMay 24, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    As long as her ass stays the way it is nothing else matters.

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  27. Kevin Sullivan, Raven and HTM would be my picks.

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  28. Steve Austin marriage counselling would be fun.

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  29. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 24, 2015 at 4:46 PM

    Yes. One last classic with Bret where Perfect comes up just short of a title win. Instead of going heel, Hennig is humbled and says he wants to be called by his name now

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  30. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 24, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    I feel like Flair's retirement match could have been used to put over new champ Bret Hart again. Bret vs Flair, Title vs Career, at Rumble 93

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  31. Good looking women with average-to-ugly dudes isn't uncommon at all. It's the other way around that's less common, but then, I think we know that many of us men tend to be shallow douchebags.

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  32. I thought it was going to be a like to Hennig & bret v. Ax and Smash. Sigh.

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  33. Daniel Bryan leading the guests in various "Yes!" "No!" chants would be a winner.


    Are there any objections? NO! NO! NO!


    Do you take this man? YES! YES! YES!

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  34. at least the TNA fuckwad hasn't invaded this thread.


    yet.

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  35. I've never even worked in retail.

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  36. Forget being out of his league, I'm not sure that guy and his wife are playing the same sport 0_o

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  37. If you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, give me a HELL YEAH!

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  38. Oh man, Heenan would be classic. Humanoids, we are gathered here today...

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  39. Jesus. Confidence really IS everything.

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  40. And then Chris Benoit as the divorce lawyer

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  41. They haven't toured Pakistan lately.

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  42. The only one who could top The Rock is Delirious.


    *drops the mic*

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  43. Followed by "What a brilliant way to run the NFL!!!"

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  44. Shawn wouldn't recall you saying "I do", but would just take your word for it.

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  45. The Hennig face turn is one of the best ever. Over the course of a two hour show, it goes from impossible to improbable to probable to real. In a storyline sense, Macho Man knowing that all he had to do was stir Mr. Perfect's pride in order to get him on his side is a masterstroke. Best episode of Prime Time ever. Period.

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  46. Make Mrs. Hoss do it

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  47. crap i must have missed that night. keep wafching everything in order anyway

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  48. Fucking Rafi up in this bitch.

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  49. Fucking LOOOOOOL

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/8z4ipuhnkgy3usc/IMG_3417.MOV?dl=0

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  50. In my head it was like getting excited for a beheading, instead it reads like I'm super angry.

    Meh. I cut the god damn to mitigate the effect some.

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  51. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:10 PM

    Goddamn.

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  52. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:11 PM

    You should feel ashamed using such a shitty avatar.

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  53. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:12 PM

    I'll be back in ten minuets.

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  54. "This is so awesome! We are like Robin Hood, we steal from the club and we give to ourselves!"

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  55. She offers when I bitch about it. Apparently, I feel some male urge to do it myself.

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  56. "Your biggest tame to fame."

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  57. Meltzer explains the backstory about Destination America canceling TNA:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5jGWD2Zfys&feature=youtu.be

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  58. So excited he can't type straight.

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  59. I love "Mets Stadium"

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  60. Someone please send this to Maffew.

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  61. haha robot cardinals from the ill fated Turn Ahead the Clock promotion that MLB did

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  62. Flair might do the right thing for the ceremony, but part-way through the reception he shows up wearing only his robe with a helium balloon tied to his dick as he prepositions the horrified bridesmaids.

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  63. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:14 PM

    Would someone care to explain why there's Hentai down below? Or is it 'just because'?

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  64. No, he meant minuets. Sometimes you have to class up "alone time" with harpsichords.

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  65. Trolls. The answer is trolls.

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  66. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:15 PM

    I see. Well, happy hunting I guess?

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  67. I was going to say Flair would cry during the whole thing, but that's only when it's about him.

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  68. Al Lobama from TNAMay 24, 2015 at 6:16 PM

    Dave Meltzer sucks, Dixie Carter is a legend.

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  69. Fucking casual.

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  70. She can't officiate because - after she recited Dusty's "Hard Times" promo during the HOF pre-show this year - I'm marrying her.

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  71. Greatest promo of all time

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  72. how does he not have a reality show

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  73. Welcome back master! Let's take these heathens down together!

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  74. Meltzer is a 'mo who couldn't get it up around the great Dixie.

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  75. "Sigh. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was 'give me a lot of bacon and eggs', what I said was 'give me ALL the bacon and eggs you have'. Do you understand?"

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  76. Man PWINSIDER has really gone downhill in the past few years

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  77. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    Alright, how much stars it would get a Orton/DDP match, both in good shape and motivated

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  78. Why does this sound familiar?

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  79. They love me there.

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  80. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:20 PM

    It's a quote from Demolition Man.

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  81. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:21 PM

    It's actually from Falling down.

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  82. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarMay 24, 2015 at 6:21 PM

    Parks and Rec

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  83. They have your photo hanging on the wall.

    Sure, there's a dartboard underneath it, but hey...close enough for government work, right?

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  84. Four. In their primes they could have hit five, but DDP is pushing 60.

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  85. PWINSIDER used to be not a great site but a decent enough site to get Wrestling news what happened to cause the site to go downhill

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  86. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:21 PM

    Dammit, got it all wrong.

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  87. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    Kevin Owens' theme screams main event.

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  88. The promoter actually had to confirm that Hogan will not actually be appearing.

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  89. I felt so sad for Ron that episode. He never got his steak.

    That being said, that scene when he almost passes out when Chris offers his mushrooms instead of steak is hilarious.

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  90. Hennig did his own variation of hulking up in that Flair LLT match, and it looked all sorts of wrong. Him noselling just didn't sit right.

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  91. Finkel announced it as a DQ at the time.

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  92. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:24 PM

    Everything about him screams main event.

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  93. Meltzer, quoting from a TV executive who was interested in TNA: "After the last two days, who would want to do business with these people?" they are so fucked right now

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  94. Has anyone seen that new Masterclass website? Where people like James Patterson and Dustin Hoffman teach stuff?

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  95. Fuck you and your never ending string of boats

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  96. Everything but his "New Year's Resolution" ring gear and physique scream it.

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  97. It says "ONE HOME" underneath it too. I wonder if I still have those emails

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  98. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:25 PM

    Good thing he's acting like the good ol' Steen, they just took of his swearing. The character remains the same.

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  99. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    What happened to the steaks when they closed? Do you think they got eaten?

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  100. I might contact Dave Scherer and tell him that he has done a piss poor job with PWinsider

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  101. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:26 PM

    He's FAT.

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  102. Tell him you have 5 homes.

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  103. Please also include your sympathies concerning the status of his poor dog.

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  104. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:27 PM

    I could go for a nice milk steak, boiled over-hard.

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  105. I might tell him that PWinsider would be in much better shape had he not gotten into numerous pissing matches with you Mr Bayless

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  106. Ol' One-House Bayless they called him.

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  107. Careful, he might use your shoot name again!

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  108. "Uhh... magnets."

    "Wha... like making magnets, collecting magnets?"

    "Playing with magnets?"

    "Just magnets."

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  109. Mike Johnson banned me from his Twitter feed. Scherer hasn't though.

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  110. I'd like an ice cream steak.

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  111. The poor prick that I am

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  112. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:29 PM

    When did Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Jim Cornette join Global Force Wrestling?

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  113. "I'm mad at them for being so fucking stupid"

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  114. Yikes, now the Christian right are pulling the "Liberals were totally okay with Lena Dunham saying she molested her sister! So leave Duggar alone!" card.


    Um, no they weren't, everyone vilified her for it and she played the feminist card, which made everyone just say "fuck this" and move on.

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  115. "People's knees"

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  116. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    Kevin Steen/Owens really carried ROH in 2011/2012, that sad Cornette Era.

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  117. Yeah as a liberal, I think she's a creepy little perv

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  118. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:31 PM

    It seems your political right is ever worse than mine in here. Sad thing, Mr. Crane.

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  119. "What are some of your likes?"

    "Um, ghouls."

    "Son of a bitch! What are you talking about?"

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  120. "After the last two days, what TV network would ever want to work with TNA?" - Dave Meltzer

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  121. Yeah, she's fucking disgusting.


    But at the same time, she's not telling everyone that homosexuality is a sin and that gay people would make terrible parents. She also doesn't have the political left posing for photos with her.

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  122. America: The IRISH are more EVOLVED than us now.

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  123. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:33 PM

    Dunham is a dumb oaf.

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  124. Dixie keeping Russo secretly on payroll should have been a glaring red flag.

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  125. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:33 PM

    MY GAWD.

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  126. While what Dunham did was reprehensible, there still is a difference between a kid under 8 doing this and a 17 year-old. Worlds.

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  127. I'm not sure it's so much "leave Duggar alone!" It's more "this guy is a sicko and his show was cancelled. Lena Dunham is a sicko and she gets praised as the greatest thing since Women's Suffrage"

    Which is a valid point. But anyone saying "Save 19 Kids and Counting!", fuck them.

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  128. 97 DDP and today's Orton would reach **** minimum

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  129. For almost 15 years TNA has been a never ending train wreck, Sinking ship & plane crash all rolled up into one

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  130. More fucked: Hawks, Rockets, or Dixie?

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  131. A saw an entire thread on Facebook where everyone basically said "people make mistakes".


    Molesting children, your siblings on top of that, ISN'T a mistake, it's a crime.

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  132. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Dixie, I don't know about the other two.

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  133. It's nauseating that people are quick to protect him solely because of his family.

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  134. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    Marry Fuck Kill


    Victoria
    Torrie
    Stacy Keibler.

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  135. Hawks and Rockets are still going to be able to play next year, so Dixie.

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  136. Dixie is rich so she can fuck anyone

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  137. Brazilian Psycho MIGHT have my favorite avatar.

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  138. Cena and Edge TLC is amazing. Chair shots to the head!

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  139. Huh, dean cain appearance in Supergirl pilot

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  140. They have been for years now, boyo. An actual health service and everything!

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  141. Yeah, fuck those idiots. Molesting children isn't a mistake, obviously.

    But I wouldn't take a few lunatics on Facebook as the general right-wing thought process. Just like you wouldn't take the left-wing fringe nutjobs on facebook as the general left-wing beliefs.

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  142. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:38 PM

    So much symbolism.

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  143. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:39 PM

    The Future Mrs bought me about $120 worth of Batman and other books this weekend.

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  144. Spamming sequence initiated

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  145. Your Aunt
    Your Aunt
    Obama

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  146. Not giving a shit sequence still active.

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  147. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:40 PM

    *loads shotgun*

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  148. I'd get someone from TNA to host the wedding then stiff them on the bill; they're used to not getting paid.

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  149. I will just have Chris Weidman, defeater of Brazillians take care of you

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  150. THE MASTER HAS RETURNED!


    YOU'RE THE BUZZING OF FLIES TO HIM!

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  151. OG Supergirl as her mom too, right?

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  152. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    This. An 8-year-old old doesn't REALLY know the deal when it comes molestation and sex organs and such. Duggar, at 17, should've been on trial and imprisoned immediately.

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  153. How's Australia this time of year?

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  154. Fox News might need a wrestling show one day.

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  155. M Victoria
    F Stacy
    K Torrie

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  156. That's really though but I'd go that order as well.

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  157. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    Good choice sir.

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  158. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMay 24, 2015 at 6:42 PM

    Goodness gracious, much like TNA, the troll just never dies.

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  159. BOW TO HIM!


    He has come to save us.

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  160. M Torrie
    F Victoria
    K Stacy

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  161. And also much like TNA, nobody cares about it.

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  162. No Kyrie again huh?

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  163. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:44 PM

    I like your pithiness, Kid.

    ReplyDelete
  164. ...so are people really surprised trolling's up after all the TNA schadenfreude and possibly some from here going to wherever the TNA people stick their heads in the sand?

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  165. However, a 28 year-old should know better than to write about such an encounter that not only paints her as a pervert but also probably will embarrass her younger sister for the rest of her life.

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  166. I know a couple who did that actually, not TNA obv, but stiffed the minister.

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  167. Oh true, but after Mike Huckabees blunder, I'm wondering what other of the right's Presidential nominees are going to be putting their foot in their mouths.

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  168. It's not like they need him in this series

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  169. Yeah Huckabee... bad move. Let the story play out before you take a side, dude.

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  170. I don't know how people were even able to post there. All their comments have to be approved.

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  171. Dunham is a dumb, ugly oaf

    FTFY

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  172. Yeah. ....already handling Superman better than Man of Steel too

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  173. Hawks laying the Smackdown right now

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  174. You make me feel.


    You make me feel.


    You make me feel...


    ...Like a natural woman.

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  175. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 24, 2015 at 6:47 PM

    Al Lobama's mom is following me. That;s like 4 TNA troll accounts now.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Fox News could put Hour 7 of Bimbo Reading the News and it would still quadruple TNA's ratings.

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  177. "Fuck, this wrestling show is tanking. Quick, Stacey Dash, go out to the ring and say something stupid about women getting raped!"

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  178. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 24, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    She's the daughter of Sloth.

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  179. True. This was where the titles changed on a SNME episode, and the Busters were the perfect team to beat the Demos. And Ventura explained it perfectly here, but this was the show where the rule changed.

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  180. As long as Stacey Dash is wearing those shorts she wore on the cover of King Magazine, she could say whatever the fuck she wants.

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  181. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 24, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    Fuck Jay Briscoe.

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  182. So I'm watching a bit of nascar and this is some of the most boring shit. I can only think of that nascar South Park episode.

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  183. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 24, 2015 at 6:51 PM

    I was watching the Indy 500 earlier and I was bored to death with it. And F1 was at the worst track ever today and Charlotte sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  184. Thaddeus MountainMay 24, 2015 at 6:51 PM

    Batman and Son
    Batman: The Black Mirror
    Final Crisis
    Sandman Number 4
    Preacher: Book Two

    She also got me Robert Brockway's 'Everything is Going to Kill Everybody' and James McWilliams 'The Modern Savage: Our Unthinking Decision to Eat Animals.' It has been a GREAT weekend for reading.

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  185. You know why Tomorrowland tanked? Because not a single poster, trailer, or any of the marketing materials gave any indication of what the fuck the movie was actually about

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