Skip to main content

Starrcade 1999

Starrcade 1999
Date: December 19, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,582
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We have arrived. We have reached the biggest show of the year for WCW. It's the final pay per view of the year and the final Starrcade of the 1990s. Over the years this show has been a showcase for legends like Sting, Ric Flair, Lex Luger and Hulk Hogan. There have been great matches, moments and shows in general, many of which have been some of WCW's best shows of all time. Now, forget everything I just said, because this is going to be one of the biggest disasters in the history of......I would say professional wrestling but that has nothing to do with what I'm about to sit through. Let's get to it.

We open with a Scott Hudson narrated highlight package to preview the card. Up first in the package: the Revolution vs. Jim Duggan/his mystery partners. I'm pretty sure every match gets some time here, but my goodness they aren't off to a rousing start by making me think about all of the impending disasters.

Now we get a standard opening video, focusing on the powerbomb match and then the World Title match.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito/Johnny the Bull

Disco lost a lot of money gambling (which I don't think he ever paid back) to the Mafia so Don boss Tony Marinara sent Big Vito and Johnny the Bull after him. Lash helped Disco out and basically started a war against the mob, setting up this tag match. It's also probably the match that has gotten the most build on the card. Normally I would ask why a match like this is opening the show, but the more I think about it, what else do they have?

It's a brawl to start with Vito punching Lash down early on. A nice suplex drops Lash again and Vito nails a good looking superkick. Heenan gets in another of his lines that are open to interpretation as he wonders why the people in the back are so quiet. Off to Johnny who eats a dropkick from Lash and a clothesline from Disco for one.

Disco stomps away in the corner but Johnny sweeps the leg (because he's the best in town) to take over. Vito scores with a hard running clothesline and Johnny's swinging neckbreaker gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before something like a double powerbomb plants Disco again. Vito spends too much time mocking the crowd on the ropes though and hits the mat, allowing the hot tag to Lash.

Everything breaks down and the goons are dropped with clotheslines. A gorilla press drop puts Lash down but he avoids a top rope spinning legdrop. Disco hits a top rope splash for two but Vito comes off the top to break up the save (granted the really slow count made it a bit easier). Vito reverses a whip from Lash and sends him into the Last Dance from Disco by mistake, setting up Vito's spinning DDT for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable tag match here, but I have a feeling we've just seen the match of the night. It's the old power vs. speed formula which has worked for the better part of ever and worked here as well. The story made sense and was actually different for a change, but this could have been on almost any given Nitro. Still though, totally acceptable.

Post match Disco gets beaten up and thrown in the body bag, along with a bottle of ether. The mob takes him back to the parking lot and throw him in their car to take them away.

Goldberg vs. Hart is No DQ. If that was the stipulation beforehand, I haven't heard of it.

Scott Hall is out of the US Title match due to a knee injury so Benoit is the champion.

The announcers run their mouths to fill time on a show with 13 matches. Keep in mind that this is coming after a backstage segment. Not only is it boring for the PPV audience, but it's letting the crowd come down after a decent opener.

Cue Chris Benoit to say he doesn't want the title this way, so it's officially vacant. However, he'll still have the ladder match against anyone that wants to face him for the title.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Evan is defending and Madusa offered sex to get this show. After she earned the shot, Evan dumped Madusa for Nitro Girl Spice, making this just another title match but with man on woman violence because Russo is obsessed with this idea. Madusa dives off the top to take out Evan and Spice before sending him into the barricade. They head inside where Evan slaps her in the face and plants her with a powerslam, only to miss a Lionsault.

Madusa dropkicks him down but gets slammed off the top. A powerbomb puts Madusa down for two so Madusa powerbombs him right back. They head outside with Evan diving onto Madusa, but Spice gets on the apron to distract the champ. It's just a ruse for the worst low blow ever, setting up Madusa's German suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. So not only did they have a swerve, they had only the bare bones of a match as this was nothing more than a spot fest with no flow to it. Yeah Mysterio and Guerrera would do a bunch of spots, but at least they knew how to make them exciting. This was less than four minutes long and more about the fact that Madusa is a woman. In other words, they were trying to recreate Chyna without putting in the effort of building her up in DX all those years. That's Russo's philosophy: just go to the end goal without putting in any of the work and then blame the fans for not caring.

On the storyline front, let's recap what just happened to Evan: he was duped into giving Madusa the shot by the offer of sex, then Madusa won the title shot again in a triple threat, then Evan got pinned on Thunder for no apparent reason, then the other woman, who was involved in this story to distract Evan, turned on him to give Madusa the title for no reason other than to mess with Evan, who made the mistake of being a champion and going after a pretty girl who seemed interested in him. Oh and Madusa hit cheated to win the title. I'm not sure if she was the face or the heel here, but I'm sure WCW didn't know either.

Norman Smiley is dressed up like a Washington Redskin for his match with Meng. He certainly isn't scared and ignore the scream when the producer tries to count him out of the interview. Sudden moves like that just are not necessary when Norman is a coiled spring ready to explode! Ignore the fact that the Hardcore Title is practically identical to the ECW Title.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Norman the coward is defending. They throw weapons at each other to start before Meng shoves the cart full of weapons runs Norman over. It's in the back without Norman ever making it to the ring and Norman blasts him in the head with the chair for almost no effect. Norman runs away through catering before Meng slams him through a table.

Meng throws a cinder block at his head but Norman avoids the whole death thing. Smiley dives behind some boxes to hide, allowing Finlay and Brian Knobbs to come up and beat Meng down. Well kind of as Meng no sells the chair and trashcan shots until Finlay NAILS him with a lead pipe to knock Meng silly. Norman comes out and covers to retain.

Rating: D. Norman is a guy that tries so hard but can't get out of this hardcore nonsense. This was your standard hardcore match with Meng dominating and Norman screaming a lot but somehow escaping for the title. In other words, it's your standard TV match being held at Starrcade because Russo doesn't know the difference between the shows.

Meng beats up Nick Patrick for reasons.

David Flair has a gold crowbar delivered to him and seems very happy.

Oklahoma and Steve Williams are ready. There's nothing more to this segment.

Oh wait there is, as we cut back to see the Misfits kidnap Oklahoma.

We recap Jim Duggan vs. the Revolution, which is based around the idea of the Revolution thinking they're a sovereign nation and wanting to deface the American flag. Bringing Duggan in makes sense there, but the Powers That Be says there's nothing to his love of America and made him a janitor because that's funny or something.

Jim Duggan/??? vs. Revolution

It's Asya/Saturn/Malenko/Douglas here and we have no idea who the partners are here. If Duggan wins, the Revolution has to be the janitors for 30 days, but if Duggan loses, he has to denounce America. Duggan's partners are.....the Varsity Club, a team which hit its peak in 1988/1989. In case you're like, young or something, it's Rick Steiner/Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotundo with Leia Meow (ECW's Kimona) as their cheerleader.

Shane sits in on commentary to make it a handicap match. Dean and Duggan start things off but Saturn comes in less than ten second in. The Varsity Club gets in some cheap shots in the corner before Duggan hammers away with forearms to the back. Dean comes in again for an elbow to the face and a slam, followed by the three point clothesline for two.

Saturn gets the same off a missile dropkick as Heenan points out that Duggan hasn't tried to tag out. Just get to the swerve we all know is coming from here. Saturn misses a middle rope splash but Dean hits Jim in the head with a flag. Everyone comes in with the Varsity Club cleaning house, including tying Asya in the Tree of Woe for Sullivan's running knee. Then they turn on Duggan because what else were they going to do here? Shane runs in for the pin as the Varsity Club keeps beating up Saturn on the floor.

Rating: F. This is STARRCADE 1999 and they bring out the Varsity Club? If they were going for some kind of nostalgia/history thing here, they completely missed the point as the Varsity Club's biggest moment was when they were fighting each other, assuming anyone remembered/cared about that in 1999. As it is, this is just another four minute match capped off by a beatdown to make it a Jim Duggan story. What is the mass appeal here and who thought the one thing this show needed was MORE people running around?

Shane tells Duggan he has 24 hours before he has to renounce America. They drape the Revolution flag over him, only to take it right back off.

The Misfits have Oklahoma in a shark cage to make sure he stays out of the Vampiro match.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

If Vampiro wins, he gets five minutes with Oklahoma. The Misfits wheel out Oklahoma in the shark cage but he has a headset on and can still do his Jim Ross jokes because.....screw the sarcasm. This whole thing is stupid. Vampiro dives off the cage to take Williams out and the brawl begins on the floor. They head inside with Oklahoma yelling at the commentators. Williams fires off a chop so Oklahoma shouts CHOP over and over.

Some three point tackles take out Vampiro's legs followed by some chops, but Oklahoma gets bored saying chop over and over. A belly to belly superplex sends Vampiro flying but brings in the Misfits. Williams cleans house with ease and suplexes Vampiro down again. He hammers on Vampiro but shoves the referee down (how have we not had a ref bump tonight?) for a DQ, setting up Vampiro vs. Oklahoma.

Rating: D. So their solution to make us care about Vampiro is to have him get beaten up until the referee gets knocked down while Oklahoma gets to do his same joke over and over and over and over and over. I feel like iTunes on repeat (who uses records anymore?) saying this but STOP USING THE SHOW FOR YOUR OWN STUPID JOKES THAT AREN'T EVEN FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

The five minute clock starts immediately.

Oklahoma vs. Vampiro

Security gets Williams out of here as we're still waiting on Oklahoma to get out of the cage. Oklahoma gets in after about two minutes and kicks Vampiro in the head. More slow stomps connect before Vampiro hits a single chop, only to have Oklahoma nail two straight low blows. A quick Rock Bottom drops Oklahoma and the Misfits come in for some shots, which the referee doesn't seem to mind. The Nail in the Coffin ends this mess.

To recap, Vampiro needed the help of a punk rock band (how many of the fans actually know who they are?) to beat Oklahoma, who beat the tar out of Vampiro for most of the “match”. Again, the announcers are getting the push at the sake of someone like Vampiro, who may or may not be entertaining but he's an actual wrestler.

Russo tells Hennig/Shane/La Parka/Creative Control that he has something big planned for tonight so he can't quite focus on their match. Thanks for letting us know about this an hour into the show instead of building it up for a few weeks, but they probably didn't know a few weeks ago.

Stevie Ray tells Booker he won't have his back tonight.

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Curt Hennig/Creative Control

The winning tag team is #1 contenders so Hennig and Midnight are just kind of here to fill in the roster, because Heaven forbid we just have a regular tag match. My goodness there are suddenly a lot of empty seats across from the cameras. I couldn't have missed those earlier. There's no Stevie so it's a handicap match with more man on woman.

Gerald stomps Booker into the corner to start before no selling a spin kick to the face. So much for this one changing the tide of the show. We look at the ladder for later and come back with Midnight in without seeing what happened in between. I'm betting Gerald lost a Canasta game and had to allow the hot tag.

It's quickly back to Booker who gets beaten down again but quickly gets over to tag in Midnight for some dropkicks. Hennig clotheslines her out to the floor and the heels take over again. Back in and Creative Control takes over on Midnight as Hudson talks about the big events of the night: the return of the Varsity Club and Disco being thrown into a car. We get the old “referee doesn't see the tag” spot as Stevie Ray comes out, only to be sent to the back by Booker.

Midnight gets slammed down and Patrick drops some elbows for two. He misses the middle rope elbow though and Midnight gets over for the hot tag. It doesn't count as Nick Patrick was “talking to Stevie Ray.” That's true, but THEY WERE LOOKING AT THE TAG. As in Nick clearly realized he wasn't supposed to see it and you can see him try to snap his head away in time so it doesn't look that bad but it doesn't work. Hennig sneaks in with a foreign object to knock Booker silly for the pin and a delayed bell.

Rating: D. As usual, this was an angle disguised as a match. On top of the match being boring for the most part and yet another woman being in there for the sake of being in there (Midnight was fine but the announcers spent the whole match talking about how awesome it was to have a woman in there, which just puts more attention on the fact that she's nothing special), the gaffes like Nick seeing the tag made this a huge mess. Above all else though, I just do not care because I haven't been given a reason to care. These people are just characters with little development so it's really hard to get interested.

We recap Jarrett vs. Rhodes. Basically Dustin returned as something resembling a child abductor but he decided he wanted to be Dustin Rhodes because THAT has such a great track record for him. Jeff thought it was funny that Dustin's dad got fired so the feud began again and of course it turned into a bunkhouse match to make it about cowboys and hardcore.

Dustin, wearing a Dusty Rhodes shirt, talks about the match but Jeff jumps him to start.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes

Jarrett runs Dustin's knee over with a wheelbarrow and hits him in the throat with a kendo stick. They slam each other into the wheelbarrow before heading inside for the first time with Jeff taking a cowbell to the head. Well you knew the bullrope and cowbell were going to be involved somehow. Some bell shots knock Jarrett onto the announcers' table but hitting him in the head with a metal bell doesn't sound as good as throwing powder in Jeff's face.

Dustin pulls out a whip and nails both Jarrett and the referee before duct taping the referee to the ropes. Jeff shrugs off a shot with some chaps (you think I care enough to react to that at this point?) and kicks Dustin low as Curt Hennig comes out to untape the referee. We hit the sleeper as Jarrett tries to make this wrestling for reasons I don't understand.

Dustin finally suplexes his way out and gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Shattered Dreams connects but Hennig pulls the referee out at two. That earns Curt some Shattered Dreams of his own and all three head up to the entrance. Dustin plants Hennig with a bulldog but Jeff climbs the ladder and blasts him with a guitar for the pin.

Rating: D. Ok. What else do you want me to say here? Two guys who are feuding over someone not even working for this promotion anymore had a long (by this show's standards) match and the heel had someone else come in to basically make it a handicap match. The good guy fought back and then the two beat him without anything overly interesting happening.

Jeff Jarrett continues to not by over but gets pushed to the moon (dig that huge win over DUSTIN RHODES!) because he beat up a woman in the WWF and that's clearly like porn to Russo. These guys weren't really putting in a ton of effort though and it's clear that no one has anything special without some kind of character behind them. It's just two old school style guys having a boring match and that's not something I want to watch for eleven minutes.

David Flair makes the headless teddy bear stroke the golden crowbar. Somehow, there isn't a single bit of innuendo in that entire sentence. Why David is wearing a Halloween Havoc shirt isn't clear.

Page says his hands will have a crowbar in them tonight and then those same hands will give Flair a bang.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Flair

IT'S A CROWBAR ON A POLE MATCH!!! This is like Russo's hit parade if I had to pay $30 to see it. This match is due to David stalking Kimberly after Kimberly slept with Ric Flair instead of David. So yeah, we have sex, insanity, illogical stories and a thing on a pole. Like I said, the hit parade rolls on. The crowbar is pitifully low as anyone of average height could reach it from the mat.

David sneaks up from behind with the gold crowbar (different from the one on the pole) but Little Naitch (who should be in David's corner in theory) takes it away, because even if you're insane and carrying a crowbar, you MUST follow the rules! The referee checks on Page and says the match will be a forfeit, but Page shoves Penzer away and wants to go.

We get the opening bell and David hammers away because how else was this going to be competitive? David counters a sunset flip and punches Page in the face for two. A clothesline gets the same as we're still waiting on any attempt at the crowbar. Flair hits a low blow and puts on a Figure Four but Page turns it over for the break. Flair gets the crowbar, misses a swing and eats the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: F. Remember when Chris Jericho would lose and then go insane and beat the post with a chair? That's how I feel here. There was no reason for this to be on pay per view or for this to be a gimmick match other than to make the match more believable. In other words, they can't have a good match without making it a gimmick and the match can't be good because it's a gimmick. Who other than Vince Russo could book a sub four minute match into a paradox while almost completely ignoring the gimmick that causes the paradox in the first place?

Page gives him a middle rope Diamond Cutter post match and it about to hit him with the crowbar but the yet to be named Daffney runs in to cover Flair up. Page leaves instead of hit the crazy chick.

Heenan wants a beer. I don't drink but can someone get me a hammer to crush my own skull?

We recap Luger vs. Sting, which has seen Luger treat Liz like garbage (more anti-women porn for Russo), which sent her running off for Sting to help him. At the same time, Luger “inadvertently” cost Sting some matches and kept trying to make it up to him, only making it worse in the process. Their match tonight is for Liz's freedom, which she totally and completely wants of course.

Total Package vs. Sting

In the back, Sting gives Liz “super high octane” mace. The STEROIDS chant begins and Luger quickly sends Sting outside. Some whips into the barricade have Sting in more trouble before some elbows get two. Sting no sells a ram into the buckle and Luger gets caught between slaps from Sting and Liz. A double clothesline puts both of them down because of those two and a half DEVASTATING minutes of action.

Liz comes in to check on Luger and sprays the mace at Sting, but it's silly string because Sting actually outsmarted someone!!!!! Even the announcers acknowledge how shocking this is. Sting makes his comeback and hits a top rope splash for two. A pair of regular Stinger Splashes look to set up the Deathlock but Liz comes in with the ball bat for a very loud sounding shot to the jaw for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I'm upgrading this because of the bat shot and the string. Other than that, this was a big mess with the whole thing not even breaking six minutes despite it being one of the bigger matches on the card. This changes nothing as Liz is freed from Luger but apparently wants to stay with him, making this whole thing a big waste of time. Imagine that.

Luger Pillmanizes Sting's arm post match. Remember two years ago when Sting was in the biggest match in WCW history? How was that just two years ago?

To recap, that was the tenth match of the show and, assuming you count Madusa as a heel, the third match where the heel didn't either win or get the last laugh after the match. Those three are Vampiro and the Misfits beating up Oklahoma (who dominated the “match”), Page over David Flair and Norman Smiley over Meng where Norman was treated like a goon all match. Is there any doubt why so many fans are leaving their seats halfway through the show?

We recap Sid vs. Nash in the powerbomb match. I've watched the shows setting this match up and now I've watched the video and I'm still not exactly sure why they're fighting. They've fought a few times but I'm not sure why they started in the first place. Again though, I doubt WCW does either other than “hey, they're both big!”

Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

You win by using a powerbomb instead of a pin or a submission because we just couldn't have either guy do a real job for the sake of.....probably some legal deal actually. Nash takes over to start and hits the framed elbow and a side slam for two. A low blow breaks up Sid's powerbomb attempt and it's time to go outside so they don't have to wrestle. Sid hits him in the back with a chair but stops to tell the fans to shut up. Good grief dude at least know what you're supposed to be doing out there. Back in and Sid tries to start a powerbomb chant but the fans are mostly silent. Well to be fair that's what Sid wanted.

The referee FINALLY GETS BUMPED, right before Sid hits a powerbomb. Cue Jeff Jarrett with a guitar to knock Sid out cold. The referee slowly gets up and Nash loads up a powerbomb but his back is out. Now the referee turns around as Nash is holding his back and Sid is down. Nash: “Yeah I powerbombed him.” Referee: “WELL OK THEN!” Nash wins. Scott Hudson: “I refuse to refer to Nash as the master of the powerbomb!” Oh dang man. No Scott Hudson endorsement? This is a sham of a reign as powerbomb master!

Rating: F. Failure, freaking stupid, for the love of all things good and holy, for goodness' sake, fire them both. Pick any two and that's what the F stands for here. I actually had to get up and walk around for a bit before I started talking about this. They somehow booked a match built around one finisher and then they couldn't even do that finish because Nash didn't want to do the powerbomb.

From a kayfabe perspective, how freaking horrible do the referees in this company look? Ranging from staying down for five minutes off a single shot to not being able to see a tag literally three feet in front of them to saying “yeah, sure I'll believe you when you say you powerbombed him. You would never lie”, these are the worst referees I've ever seen. Oh and then there's Roddy Piper who has a young boy doing his work for him and who hears voices in his head. I would do a Randy Orton joke there but Orton is too good for this show.

Benoit says the open challenge is still, uh, open.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Ladder match and the title is officially vacant coming in The mystery opponent is......Jeff Jarrett, because why have two Jarrett segments when you can have three??? And my goodness did he change from jeans to gear in a hurry. It's a brawl in the aisle to start with Benoit chopping Jeff into the ring. Something like an Irish Curse drops Jarrett and a superplex allows Benoit to go get the first ladder.

Jarrett gets up and hits a baseball slide to drive the ladder into Benoit, but Chris whips him into the ladder in the corner a few times to take over again. Benoit gets crotched against the ladder for something like a Russian legsweep out of the corner. Chris is busted open but still able to tie Jeff in the Tree of Woe in the standing ladder, only to find out that it's hard to climb a ladder with someone hanging from the other side.

Both guys go up until Jarrett gets knocked down, followed by both guys going up and getting knocked over for nice crashes. In the best spot of the match, Benoit goes up but Jarrett dropkicks the ladder out from underneath him, sending Benoit down for a huge crash. Benoit is up first and dropkicks the ladder onto Jarrett but Benoit would rather drop a Swan Dive off the top of the ladder instead of grab the belt. Now he goes up and gets the belt for the win.

Rating: B. That might be high but anything above horrible would be ten times better than everything else on this show. Best match of the night here by about 19,000 years and naturally it only has ten minutes because we needed to give Oklahoma two matches and have the really stupid David Flair match instead of giving this another eight minutes. There isn't much to say here other than the guys were doing big spots and making them look good. In other words, the polar opposite of everything else tonight.

We recap Goldberg vs. Hart, which started over Hart wanting to give Goldberg a title shot, and then became an Outsiders story involving the Tag Team Titles. Other than a few one off promos, these two have barely addressed each other.

Bret says he's winning whether Goldberg likes it or not.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg

No DQ and there must be a winner with Bret defending. Instead of asking if we're ready to rumble, Buffer tells us we're ready because the fans would probably boo such a question out of the building for making this last even longer. You know how most of the time at Wrestlemania the main event eats up like 40 minutes? The bell here rings with just over thirteen minutes to go in the show. For some reason it would feel wrong if the main event of the biggest show of the year had more time than that.

They shake hands and we're ready to go. Goldberg shoves him down out of a lockup to start but Bret takes him down with a headlock. That goes nowhere so Goldberg gorilla presses him into a powerslam for two. Goldberg tries that rolling leglock but Bret turns it into an early Sharpshooter attempt as only he could do. They fight outside with the referee getting bumped. It's not even a big deal at this point.

Robinson comes out as a replacement and an overly excited (and likely drunk) fan is dancing badly in the front row. A big boot puts Hart down back inside but Robinson gets bumped on a hiptoss. Goldberg spears the turnbuckle as the third referee comes down to see Bret put on the Figure Four around the post. Back in and Bret starts in on the leg and puts on a regular Figure Four. The turn sends Bret running for the ropes so he wraps the leg around the middle rope in the corner.

Goldberg reverses and hammers away but referee number three goes down. There's the Bret Killer superkick to set up the spear but a dejected Roddy Piper comes out to be the fourth referee. Bret, apparently having shrugged off the spear kicks Goldberg in the knee and MONTREAL STRIKES AGAIN as Piper calls for the bell before Bret turns the Sharpshooter over. Hudson: “NOT MONTREAL ALL OVER AGAIN!” Yes it's Montreal all over again, because THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING THEY COULD POSSIBLY DO!

Rating: D-. The match was watchable but between the whole ending Bret Hart's career and going back to a fake Montreal over two years later with Bret on the good end this time is one of the worst possible ideas they could have come up with. If you want Bret to keep the title on a screwjob then have someone lay Goldberg out from behind or whatever, but good night don't do it like this. I mean, if this is the best they can think of, just close the doors now because Russo is clearly not what he's cracked up to be (oh gee what an understatement) and they need to find ANYONE else to give the reigns over to immediately.

Piper hands Bret the belt and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: No. No no, no no no, no no, no no. This is flat out not acceptable as the biggest show of the year for any promotion, or as a show for any serious promotion actually. Where in the world do I even start? Well let's start at the ending actually, as the main event was the longest match of the night at 12:07. This past week's episode of Raw had two matches longer than that and that's a run of the mill TV show.

Above all else, this felt like it could be any given filler pay per view where they're not trying. I know WCW had mixed feelings about how big of a deal Starrcade really was, but at least they would usually give lip service to the fact that it's the biggest night of the year. This felt like Fall Brawl or Uncensored instead of Starrcade and that's a feeling that you can't shake off no matter what.

Starrcade 1999 was Vince Russo with time to come up with his best possible ideas. Somehow he's managed to produce the one of the worst Wrestlemanias and the one of the worst Starrcades of all time, IN THE SAME YEAR. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to do that in the span of about nine months? So much of this can be blamed on the writing and booking too. When you have thirteen matches in a show that runs less than two hours and forty five minutes, there's very little the wrestlers can do to make the thing work.

The Mamalukes vs. Disco/Lash was the best match of the night until Chris Benoit and a ladder took their top spot. That's almost inconceivable that a totally average tag match was as good as this show could do for about 80% of the card. These stories are thrown together with no real rhyme or reason to most of them and at some point the fans just gave up. Yeah, it worked back in the WWF in 1999, but it's the same argument made about TNA now: why would I want to watch a lite version of the same stories with lesser and older talent doing the work?

There comes a point where you have to show your audience some respect or they're going to turn on you. That's where Russo doesn't get the point: he thinks the fans are going to follow whatever he does because they're watching a wrestling show and therefore aren't that smart. That means he can throw some big series of swerves at us and expect us to just go with it with an explanation of “YOU DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!” and then somehow blame us for not getting it. I know this is rambling but after watching this disaster there's no way to have any sort of coherent thought process.

It's just one big surprise after another, but the problem is you can start to see the surprises coming about half an hour into the show. If you train your audience to expect a big swerve, it stops being a swerve and becomes part of the plot. Piper coming out at the end of the big swerve would have worked better if we didn't have so many people turning on each other or one big surprise after another for two and a half hours leading up to it.

It doesn't help that Piper is a legend and hasn't had a good match in about seven years at this point but he's being featured as a major plot point for a story that people don't care about. The build for this show didn't make me want to see it and then the show itself was horrible, making me have no desire to keep tuning in.

What is there that's left untied here? Nash wins to show Sid is worthless, Hall is probably going to come back and take the title from Benoit, and we get to see more Jeff Jarrett. The big cliffhanger here is “WHY DID PIPER SCREW BRET???” If that's the big question going into Nitro tomorrow, I have zero desire to keep watching this promotion, but I'm sure it's my fault for not supporting Russo like he deserves for putting on all this EXCITING TV for me. Total disaster of a show and more like hitting a rock wall instead of starting some new chapter in the company's history as the year is coming to a close.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


  1. "Now, forget everything I just said, because this is going to be one of the biggest disasters in the history of......I would say professional wrestling but that has nothing to do with what I'm about to sit through."

    I'm not even a second into the first match description and that line had me falling out of my chair.

  2. "From a kayfabe perspective, how freaking horrible do the referees in this company look? Ranging from staying down for five minutes off a single shot to not being able to see a tag literally three feet in front of them to saying “yeah, sure I'll believe you when you say you powerbombed him. You would never lie”, these are the worst referees I've ever seen."

    Wait, how are these referees different from the ones in the E' today? :P

  3. Great recap. That overall rating rant perfectly hit the nail on the head. I can't imagine how bad of a reaction this show got when it first aired.

  4. The article forgot Triple H vs "your kind".

  5. Do people really not know who the Misfits are? By 1999 they were like legends.

  6. I remember a few Nitros ago, somebody on the blog made a comment that on paper, the episode of Nitro should have been pretty good with this lineup:

    Jarrett v. Goldberg
    Sid v. DDP
    Hall v. Sting
    Benoit v. Nash
    Hart v. Luger

    That's another problem with Russo; on a random free tv show, the weakest match as a draw was Sid vs DDP, yet on the biggest PPV they had a whole bunch of C level matches that had no business being on PPV in the first place. I remember Bryan Alvarez ranting on his podcast awhile ago about how TNA would offer a big match on free tv, but offer the paying customer even less when it's done on PPV.

  7. I think at the time, no-one really knew just how much damage Russo was doing to WCW. I can't remember there being a lot of hate for Starrcade at the time except for people saying it was a below average show, I just think with the benefit on hindsight and watching these shows again makes us wonder just what drugs Russo was on.

  8. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 9, 2015 at 11:09 PM

    I wasn't a big music guy back then and I've only kind of heard of them now.

  9. Russo believed, and still believes, that TV was more important than PPV. So, it's not surprising. Reason #1288 that Russo needed someone above him to filter him.

  10. My one complaint: the idea that the Misfits were nobodies. I've never been a punk rock fan, and *I* know the Misfits were legends in that genre.

    They had no place on this show, (granted, that describes half the people that actually wrestled) but still.

  11. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 9, 2015 at 11:42 PM

    I don't know if it's just my taste but I've barely ever heard of them.

  12. Misfits were always underground darlings and due to a LARGE number of behind the scenes shit, didn't become "BIG" until after they had self-destructed and broke up.

    If anything, Danzig was more famous than the Misfits and even then, only as a one-hit wonder with "Mother". Especially since Jerry Only's revived version of the Misfits from the mid-90s (which is the version that ended up on WCW) was widely seen as a soulless cash-in revival of the band.

    They are, for all intents and purposes, the metal version of "Neutral Milk Hotel" in that they are constantly name checked but no one really listened to them or gave a fuck about them, until metal groups like Metallica turned them into a meme of an ultra obscure group who you brag about listening to in order to make everyone else around you look like pleebs.....

  13. A lot of these recaps from the start of the Russo era are hard for me to read BECAUSE it shows how badly Russo scorched earth shit. In a lot of ways he meant well, but the execution was horrific.

  14. There is a good book about the band (This Music Leaves Stains) they make a point about how obscure the band was, to the point that there were several members of the band who were flat out FACELESS to the fanbase due to lack of photos of them, until Only provided the writer (who ran one of the biggest Misfits websites on the web in the 90s) with pics of the faceless members of the group that the band had taken during their live shows for promotional purposes.

  15. "Attendance: 8,582"

    Wuh? That seems...low.

  16. The only point I don't agree with is you talk about piper not having a good match in seven years. I'm like "who cares" he drew a MONSTER buy rate with Hogan 3 years before that and drew two more really big ones the following year. I'm not saying piper was relevant because he pretty much wasnt but once again om reading a review about if a guy was having a good match or how long it had been. Piper and Hogan business in 96 and 97 alone prove most fans don't care about if someone is a "good" wresrler.and I think it's the biggest misconception I see repeated on this blog daily.

  17. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 10, 2015 at 12:39 AM

    Three years is a very, very big difference and there are far more interesting people to have in that spot than Piper.

  18. "Liz comes in to check on Luger and sprays the mace at Sting, but it's silly string because Sting actually outsmarted someone!!!!! Even the announcers acknowledge how shocking this is."

    Is this honestly the lone highlight of the Russo era? It didn't really get any better than Sting the Giant Idiot actually outsmarting someone for the one and only time in his career, did it?

  19. Well, my standards are for article-based websites, not "real" writing. If we were to compare them to lets say the New Yorker (who I'm thinking of because the AVClub linked to an especially excellent piece by them that made me question the sites judgement, why link to writing that's much, much better than yours?).

    Quality to me is a mix of your goal and how well you succeed at your goal. They're not super ambitious, but they fulfill what they're trying to do.

    They write breezy articles that generally have a couple good laughs and some interesting tidbits of information. Yeah, they're 5-10 minute reads. Yeah, they're not going to change my life or how I think about the world but I've almost never thought to myself after reading an article "well that was a waste of my time" or "that writer is a moron". Perfectly acceptable writing is good when the competition is shit.

    You don't have to be Hemingway to be a good writer. I'll take something that isn't obnoxiously overwritten or simplistic garbage. When most of the internet looks like Bleacher Report or Slate, Cracked is a goddamn paradise.

  20. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 10, 2015 at 1:29 AM

    One of the many stats that tells you what was happening to WCW. Attendance for Starrcade at the MCI Center:

    1997 - 17,500
    1998 - 16,066
    1999 - 8,582
    2000 - 6,596

    The attendance drop was happening everywhere. The Thunder I just did had less than 2000 paid. People just stopped coming to the shows.

  21. This article should have mentioned that god awful War in Iraq debate between Scott Steiner and Chris Nowinski

  22. Attendance dropped in half, and didn't this show's buyrate do like a .33 compared to 1998 doing around a 1.0?

  23. People really scold Stephanie a bit too much for that one. It really wasn't a big deal.

  24. Punk is among my least listened rock Genre's (even the Punk I like isn't "real punk") and I'd say the misfits are certainly famous enough to be well beyond being "nobodies"

  25. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieMay 10, 2015 at 2:52 AM

    It was a great line

  26. This show features two of the worst powerbombs ever delivered: Madusa to Evan Karagias and Sid Vicious to Kevin Nash.

    If Karagias hadn't gotten his hands up, Madusa would have dropped him right on his head. It looked scary!

  27. Macklin, Man Without FearMay 10, 2015 at 3:01 AM

    Neutral Milk Hotel! That's April's favorite band.

  28. What is worse is that Russo doesn't see that his ideas were flawed instead it's the audience's fault. I don't think once has he ever said "yep that was a bad idea, i fucked up"

  29. Goddamn it's all so bad. So many people trot out that line about how great Russo was for giving everyone something to do, forgetting entirely that everything he gave everyone to do was absolute shit.

  30. Yes, the drop between Spring Stampede 1999 and this show was monumental WCW was actually doing record business in most areas at the start of 1999 even with the hot WWF competition, but by the spring the wheels fell off.

  31. Clark O'BrienMay 10, 2015 at 5:30 AM

    Answer: All the drugs.

  32. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieMay 10, 2015 at 6:18 AM

    Went back to Scott's original review, and you're right. Of course he shits on it, but doesn't give it the apocalyptically terrible review it deserves in hindsight.

  33. I don't know. I saw them in like 98 or 99 and there were people packed into the stairwells,people in the men's room watching,there was literally a person standing on every surface.
    I liken it to the ECW show I went to vs the WWE shows I've been to. Obviously less people were there,but the people who WERE there weren't playing with their phones,they were losing their minds.

  34. ♪♪start freelancing at Home with Google Finance@nr24:::<-Make A huge profit just doing Simple Tasks....... Last saturday I got a great Alfa Romeo after I been earning $9498 this past four weeks and a little over 10k lass month . with-out a doubt this is the nicest-work Ive ever had . I actually started 4 months ago and pretty much immediately began to make more than $80.. per-hour . find out here now ->

    < Going Here
    you Can Find Out >



  35. How great would it have been if this was Disco's last appearance? Best kayfabe write out ever.

    "Where's Disco these days?"
    "Oh he got killed by the mob. Gambling debts."

  36. This show did a .32 buyrate during the biggest boom in wrestling history.

  37. I'm surprised the attendance dropped by 1500 people by 1998

  38. The actual music of both Misfits and Neutral Milk Hotel is great though.

  39. 1998 did a 1.15, second biggest for that year. 1999 did a .32, the lowest of the year

  40. To this day he blames Standards & Practices

  41. I assume Russo never had a date in high school.

  42. Fingerpoke Of Doom. That was when the cancer initially entered the body. But this point, the company was really ill.

  43. Yeesh, I really thought I had stuck with WCW until the end, so either I blocked all this shit out or stopped watching a lot earlier. Don't even remember Bret with the belt. Was this around the time of the steel plate stopping Goldberg's spear?

  44. The steel plate angle was during the summer. NWO 2000 reared its ugly shortly after this.

  45. The steel plate was in March 1999

  46. Nah, SuperBrawl IX did a 1.14 buyrate and Uncensored did a .73. The Fingerpoke of Doom wasn't a bad and, the follow-up was the problem.

  47. One of the few untapped programs they could have made money off of that didn't involve Hogan or a Clique member.

  48. MaffewOfBotchamaniaMay 10, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    I was always a Big Vito fan so in a weird way I'm happy he had the best match of the show.

  49. I always felt that was the start of the decline. It wasn't felt initially obviously as the buyrates and the ratings were still good. But another Hogan title run & another NWO formation - WCW couldn't cover up those dead ends.

  50. I can't believe Hogan got two title reigns in 1999 and Jeff Jarrett got multiple reigns in 2000, but Goldberg never got a second reign

  51. Jarrett was Russo's bestest buddy and Hogan had creative control to get back the title whenever he was in the mood. As for Goldberg, I think one political camp was waiting for the right time to put the belt back on him when it would mean something. But then you had another camp who didn't want any of that.

  52. The powerbomb that Nash gave to HBK at WM11 was terrible.

  53. Russo was such an idiot. With Jarrett on top, SuperBrawl X did a .15 buyrate, Uncensored did a .13 buyrate, Spring Stampede did a .27, Slamboree did a .14 buyrate, Great American Bash did a .19, Bash at the Beach did a .22 and New Blood Rising did a .18.

    No logical human being can say Jarrett should have been champion.

  54. You know what would have worked? Put the title on Goldberg at Starrcade '99. Don't put it on Sid or Jarrett or Marquette. Just put it on Goldberg.

  55. Russo biggest problem in WCW was that he was trying to book WCW like a WWF show and it was just a totally different audience and company and it didn't work at all. This has actually plagued him in every promotion he has attempted to book since. All that being said, I still strongly feel that he could into WWE right now and write a much better Raw than anything we've seen in months. Russo needs the "Vince filter" and McMahon needs someone with some balls to write a show.

  56. What if he had Brock Lesnar? Would Lesnar being a lazy fuck hurt him? Why is Brock Lesnar a lazy fuck?

  57. Why is Brock Lesnar a lazy fuck?

  58. So despite his track record of failure everywhere except WWF for the last 16 years, you still think he deserves ANOTHER shot?

  59. Have you read Brock's book?

  60. "...the worst low blow ever."

    This is emphatically true. Spice manages to gently brushed his crotch. Even Evan can't be bothered to sell it.

  61. DDP's title win was a disaster and what finally made WCW slip for good.

  62. There's modern day "Russo books Raw"s out there on the internet, and it's the worst thing you'll ever read in your life.

  63. dont worry bub its almost the sullivan era. it still sucked, but at least he focused a lil more on wrestling.

  64. Excellent question, Shelton. It currently sits on Pat Patterson's mantle.

  65. haha i thought it was hillarious when he called out the Dixie Chicks...

  66. after all he did personally give Scott Keith and his body their money back for not enjoying a show in Edmonton (or some other Canadian city).

  67. Adam &quot;Colorado&quot; CurryMay 10, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    A more detail? Learn English you fucking scumbag cocksucker.

  68. Adam &quot;Colorado&quot; CurryMay 10, 2015 at 10:03 AM

    That's because Shawn was being a dick and wouldn't take it right.

  69. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!May 10, 2015 at 10:31 AM

    It was terrible then and it's terrible now. And people still talk about it, so I would say it was a big deal.

  70. I love how Russo did that "Mexican guys will never get over because MURICA" interview, yet he books Nash to win with a Rudo cheat

  71. Really? I'm interested in reviewing all this again one the nitrous (and hopefully thunders) are on the network. I had stuck through the russo era and it was actually the sullivan era that I turned off nitro mid show and didn't turn it back on until Bishoff/Russo Hogan was cutting an 80's promo for his whapapaiyaoappayap strap match

  72. Clark O&#39;BrienMay 10, 2015 at 11:09 AM

    Vince needs a filter these days. Russo threw about a months worth of angles every episode of Impact imagine what he would do with three hours of Raw and two of Smackdown every week.

  73. With Rusev, it's because he mostly wasn't a dick about it, at least in the earlier run with his character.

  74. Clark O&#39;BrienMay 10, 2015 at 11:11 AM

    At least you can say something similar about Dino Bravo.

  75. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 10, 2015 at 11:11 AM

    Agreed. Ivan Drago may have been an automatic villain because he was a dirty Soviet, but we learned to hate him because he was such a condescending elitist prick

  76. Trying to book it like WWF
    Not having the Vince filter
    Stealing his own ideas and trying to make some of the characters cheap ripoffs of WWF guys (that is one of the most mind boggling)
    And to his credit, he was coming in on a sinking ship, and found out oh...just because I'm in charge guys like Hogan don't have to do what I tell them to.

    Also he is an idiot

  77. Very likely he was a virgin until he got rich. Some of the stories with how he drooled over Sable, ugh.

  78. He didn't actually. Did you stop midway through?

    Not that I blame you....

  79. Actually the Brock Lesnar one was rather good.

  80. MaffewOfBotchamaniaMay 10, 2015 at 12:31 PM

    I read it all, it said ''Big Vito was awesome and I'm going to forget about Benoit vs. Jarrett''

  81. I saw one with Brock that involved Orton beating him in 5 minutes with no build up, just because nobody would expect it. I'll leave that idea here without further comment.

  82. McMahon would have never let that happen or Brock for that matter, that's the beauty of those 2 working together.

  83. Where? I can't find that sentence.


  84. No, they didn't.

  85. Watching Bret play the role of Shawn Michaels does fuel the whole "Montreal was a work" theory more.

  86. you can say no all you want. A quick perusal of Raws, SDs and ppvs from 2004 or so on will show you a Eugene that was being booed heavily.

  87. Say what you will but Sting actually seeing a double-cross coming for the first time in his entire life was absolute gold.

  88. I'm not disagreeing with any of that but you made a point in your argument to say Piper hadn't had a good match in seven years when that was completely irrelevant. Starrcade 96, Superbrawl VII, Uncensored 97 and Halloween Havoc 97 all had Piper in the main event and those are the biggest ppv buyrates in the companies history outside of Starrcade 97. So while I agree with you that 1999 WCW was a FAR different animal than 97 and 97 WCW. I also agree that Piper wasn't relevant by the time 99 hit. But you made it a point to say "Piper doesn't wrestle good and hasn't in seven years". When thats completely irrelevant and has no business being in your argument since Piper generated more ppv buys for that company (along with Hogan) than anyone else in the companies history. I hate using these terms but I don't have better terms to use but it reads like a 16 year old smark for somebody to say "he isn't a good wrestler". Because anybody and everybody knows thats completely irrelevant in pro wrestling. Being able to wrestle doesn't make you a draw and not being able to wrestle doesn't stop you from being a draw. So the argument about Piper's last good wrestling match had no bearing on anything. The rest of it I mostly agree with you on I would just suggest staying away from comparing someone's relevancy to when their last good match was or even including it in any argument for why an angle isn't working. Sorry I wasn't more clear.

  89. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 10, 2015 at 4:03 PM

    It wasn't that bad. He also didn't even hold the title that long. I'd put it more on the rapid turn back to face Hogan vs. heel Flair with such a flimsy explanation. Hogan just wasn't wanted anymore.

  90. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 10, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    I didn't mean they were nobodies in music. I meant in wrestling.

  91. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 10, 2015 at 4:06 PM

    Much appreciated to you both.

  92. No it won't. Unless this is more smarks didn't like it so everyone hated it rhetoric.

  93. Yeah god hilarious.

  94. Yeah, a bunch of marks on the internet who talk about a lot of irrelevant shit that hardly anyone else does. I doubt 99.9% of normal , casual fans who saw the promo back then even remember it.

  95. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!May 11, 2015 at 5:27 AM

    Hi Paul!

  96. I remember it. That, and Bradshaw's racist, Jingoistic and horrifying speech where he talked about exterminating all Muslims and turning their country into a "parking lot". Truly embarrassing.

  97. Rorschach&#39;s JournalMay 11, 2015 at 5:39 PM

    I'm saving that picture of her so that I can post it whenever Idiot Tits does something spectacularly stupid. It's really the only picture of Stephanie you need in order to sum up her "creative" decision making skills.

  98. Rorschach&#39;s JournalMay 11, 2015 at 5:46 PM

    Agreed; although the way things played out in the real lives of the two involved, it kind of does make Punk look 100% justified and right, in retrospect.

    But therein lies the key; we can look back on it and see how right Punk was about Hardy, and feel justified in coming to the conclusion that he was the actual "babyface" in that scenario, but AT THE TIME, he was just being, well, CM Punk: A gigantic jerk who uses his straight edge credentials to belittle or diminish the lives and life choices of others.

  99. Rorschach&#39;s JournalMay 11, 2015 at 5:48 PM

    ALMOST makes me want them to bring him back in the same fashion. But only if you could find the right heel stable to be his goons. Bischoff + 3MW was really a pretty great heel act. Especially when he was loosing them on people who had no HOPE of defending themselves.

  100. Rorschach&#39;s JournalMay 11, 2015 at 5:52 PM

    I think the article there is referring to post- ONE NIGHT STAND, where the crowd (being comprised of a mixture of ECW loyalists, new age "hardcore" fans, and internet smarks) were just begging Sandman to brutalize Eugene. I mean, other than that, the crowd seemed pretty into the least until the Almighty Walking Ego got ahold of him, and turned Eugene from wrestling's idiot savant, into an idiotic, Triple H obsessed wanker. Because you know, people weren't into Eugene emulating Rock, and Steve Austin....nope. He had to say his favorite wrestler was TRIPLE H! It's the perfect payoff!....said no one whose name wasn't Paul Levesque, ever.

  101. Rorschach&#39;s JournalMay 11, 2015 at 5:54 PM

    "You fucking horse! I'll fucking KILL YOU!"--Terry Funk. A class act no matter what stable or barnyard he happens to be wrestling in.

  102. The Bossman/Big Show feud was gold. Dragging a casket around? Not funny. Using the damn Bluesmobile to drag a casket around? Brilliant. And how could you forget "The Big Show is a bastard because his momma said so!"

    I always thought the Mark Henry/Mae Young thing was a great idea but HORRIBLE execution. Look at it from this stand point- it was the 90's/00's and the WWF was trying to push the envelope. An angle that involved a young black man romantically involved with an older white woman sounds great on paper. Too bad they used Mark Henry and Mae Young. They could have at least used Ivory, she looked like a great cougar.

  103. ok le'ets do this (again, F.U real Matt Perri)


Post a Comment