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The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–07.08.96

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 07.08.96

I’m skipping the BATB redo because RAW is already getting added a rate where I’m falling behind anyway. I’m strongly considering just motoring through one show or the other to finish off 1996 rather than alternating, which would probably make me lean towards RAW because it’s faster.

Live from Orlando, FL, at the Disney Studios outdoors. Now THIS is exactly what RAW is lacking. The arena looks and feels like nothing else they had done to that point, like something FRESH.

Your hosts are Tony & Larry.

Cruiserweight title: Dean Malenko v. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Hearing their entrances back to back just makes you realize that they both have exactly the same song. Tony encourages us to call our non-wrestling fan friends and tell them to tune into the second hour of this wrestling program for still photos of an angle from a PPV on the previous night. Somehow I don’t think that’s realistic. In fact, my girlfriend at the time called me DURING the heel turn and quite pointedly didn’t give a shit that she was interrupting one of the most stunningly important moments of my wrestling fandom. Luckily I was taping it. And she was cheating on me anyway, so in the grand scheme of things we were both happier. Although to be fair, she was cheating on her previous boyfriend with me. Women, am I right? Rey gets a quick springboard dropkick for two, but Dean hits him with a wheelbarrow suplex for two and a backbreaker, and we take a break. Back with Dean faceplanting Rey and a powerbomb gets two. Poor Rey gets suplexed to the floor and Dean goes to a bodyscissors. Back to the floor and Dean drops him with a goddamn brainbuster on the floor. WCW was definitely starting to clue in that having Rey take a shitkicking was a ticket to money. Back in, Rey reverses a slam for two and takes Dean to the floor with a rana, then follows with a moonsault that kind of misses. Back in, Rey with a flying rana for two. Springboard moonsault gets two. They fight to the top and Dean brings him down with the exploding gutbuster for two. Overhead suplex gets two. Dean keeps pulling him up, which seems like a bad idea to me. Just a hunch. And indeed, Rey snaps off the West Coast Pop to finish and win the title at 11:45. ****

Meanwhile, Glacier is coming to WCW, but no longer has a set date to do so. Apparently our world changing forever is TBA.

Hugh Morrus & Big Bubba v. Lord Steven Regal & Squire Dave Taylor

The Bluebloods dominate Bubba, but Hugh goes to the eyes while John Tenta attacks Bubba. Bluebloods hit a double suplex on Morrus in all the chaos and get the pin at 3:00, of which 1:30 or so was stalling. DUD

Psicosis v. Eddie Guerrero

Nitro debut for Psi, who has one of the most annoying names to type. They trade armdrags and reach a stalemate, but Eddie dumps him on a monkey flip. Back in, they trade headlocks and Psi dumps him, then follows with a somersault dive to the floor. Back in, Psi works on the arm with some good stuff, but Eddie reverses to a rana for two. Psi goes up and lands in an atomic drop, and Eddie misses a blind charge and hits the post into his bad arm. Psi with a top rope rana for two and they fight to the top again, where Psi gets a sunset flip for two. Back to the top, but Eddie catches him with a superplex and follows with the frog splash to finish at 8:30 for the big comeback. ***1/4 Unlike Rey, Psi kind of got slotted into the jobberweight slot after losing both his PPV and Nitro debuts.

The Nasty Boys v. The Steiner Brothers

Winners get the tag title shot at Hog Wild, and holy crap it must be humid out there at that point because you see the guys just dying before they even start the match. The Nasties unleash some CLUBBERING in the corner on Scott, but he fires off a butterfly bomb on Sags and damn near looks like he’s going to expire in the process. Crowd is obviously tiring of this wrestling thing at this point as well and dying off fast. Rick comes in and gets double-teamed in the corner for two, but comes back with a powerslam on Knobs. Scott gets taken down and put on the floor, and Sags hits him with a nasty chairshot as we transition to Hour #2, the hour that set the standard for all other hours!

Your hosts are Eric Bischoff & Bobby Heenan

Continuing on, this match still sucks. Scott with a suplex on Sags while Parker and Sherri look on, but Parker accidentally hits Sags with the cane and Scott gets the pin at 6:05. Total shit. DUD

The Nasty Boys bitch at Mean Gene about getting no respect the way that Luger and Sting do, and tease joining the nWo. That proved to be an idle threat.

US title: Ric Flair v. Jim Powers

Thankfully Flair saved us from the Konnan era last night, making John Cena proud by bringing the US title back to America through ridiculous cheating. Flair is nice enough to give Captain Steroid some offense, but casually sidesteps a dropkick, clips the knee and finishes with the figure-four at 5:03. I know it’s Flair and that’s what he does, but giving so much shine to Anabolic Billy Kidman is a waste of everyone’s time. *

Chris Benoit v. Craig Pittman

Pittman gets a suplex, but that just annoys Benoit and he beats on him in the corner. Benoit hooks in the Crippler Crossface (still unnamed at this point) and Teddy Long throws in the towel at 2:39. Total squash.

Sting v. Arn Anderson

We get a bunch of nothing much and take a break with Arn stalling. Back with Arn choking away and using the abdominal stretch, but Sting fights out and then misses a splash. Arn with a Boston crab while the nWo limo pulls up, but Sting makes the comeback while the Outsiders join us at ringside. Sting with a flying clothesline for two while security geeks intercept Hall & Nash, and the Scorpion Deathlock finishes at 11:35. *

Sting cuts a hell of a promo on Hulk Hogan afterwards, and then Randy Savage follows with a bunch of rambling nonsense. We take a break and the Outsiders promise that Hulk Hogan will join them next week.

We finish with pictures of Hogan’s historic heel turn, and we’re all quite disgusted by his actions. Especially Bobby Heenan.

The Pulse

Super hot first hour (literally), but without a Hogan appearance to build towards and the stifling heat, the show just kind of dragged to a finish. Still, a very cool change of scenery this month.

Comments

  1. "I’m skipping the BATB redo"



    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was actually looking forward to that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I'm skipping the BATB redo"


    Scott Keith you can go to hell. We're outta here. Straight to hell.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "BUT WHAT WCW SHOW IS HE RANTING ON?!?!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 22, 2015 at 12:47 AM

    How do you not have Hogan on this show, I mean he had to drive past Disney to go home!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 22, 2015 at 12:50 AM

    "And she was cheating on me anyway, so in the grand scheme of things we were both happier. Although to be fair, she was cheating on her previous boyfriend with me. Women, am I right?"

    Yeah, I learned that the hard way too. Remember all you youngsters reading this, if a broad leaves another guy for you she's going to pull the same shit on you too. We call them sluts, skanks, cunts, etc..., so dick them down and drop them like a hot bread pan.



    Also Scott, if it's outside it's not an arena.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 22, 2015 at 12:52 AM

    No shit, even Brock manages to grace us with his presence the night after WM.

    ReplyDelete
  7. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 22, 2015 at 1:03 AM

    Above the insane and stupid things WCW did over the years, this might be at the top of the list.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Possible team name for Blake & Murphy now they have 'wounds' on their trunks: The Australian-American Wolves

    Also they should keep trying to wheedle out of matches, making deals and schemes. The commentary team can call it B&M Bargains.

    You're welcome UK budget supermarket joke fans

    ReplyDelete
  9. 1) "Anabolic Billy Kidman"? You owe both steroids and Kidman an apology for that horrible insult.


    2) How the fuck do you throw in the towel in a 2:30 match? How long was Pittman in the crossface?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hardly; they didn't need him to be on, just the talk of what he did drove a high rating (3.5 v 2.5), and next week they nearly equaled it with (3.4 vs 2.6) so the long tease obviously worked as they were the top 2 highest ratings WCW had done in months and gave it the momentum to stream roll over WWF for the rest of the year (and beyond). Comparing this with Arquette, Judy Bagwell on a Pole, Fingerpoke of Doom and all the other batshit crazy stuff WCW produced is just ridiculous hyperbole.

    ReplyDelete
  11. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 22, 2015 at 1:55 AM

    The biggest heel turn in the history of wrestling not having an appearance the next night?


    I'm pretty sure that's stupid any way you look at it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Stupid? Yes. Worst thing WCW did? No.


    You're reviewing 1999 and into 2000 WCW. This isn't even top 10.

    ReplyDelete
  13. you and me both, Cult. I went back a couple days in the RSPW history thinking I missed it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 22, 2015 at 2:26 AM

    He's got you there, Tommy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 22, 2015 at 2:30 AM

    You're making the mistake of thinking they were a wrestling company in late 1999.

    And no I'm not being seriously complaining about this.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I never said it was a smart decision, my point was that it made no difference to the angles progression, the product, momentum, or the bottom line. Surely 'insane and stupid things' would have an impact on these key metrics.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Art Macklin, Man Without FearMay 22, 2015 at 2:49 AM

    Arena or not they were hanging from the rafters.

    ReplyDelete
  18. cabspaintedyellowMay 22, 2015 at 2:59 AM

    If they do it with ya, they'll do it to ya.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I guess it was a way to induce replay buys. I wouldn't exactly call it stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Buffalo HopscotchMay 22, 2015 at 3:12 AM

    I wouldn't worry about not being able to spell Psicosis's name since WCW changed it every other week for the first year or so.

    ReplyDelete
  21. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 22, 2015 at 3:16 AM

    How is that a way to make people buy the replay? They said it was Hogan.

    ReplyDelete
  22. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 22, 2015 at 3:16 AM

    Not entirely. WWF in 1999 did some of the most insane things ever and numbers went up. It doesn't mean they were good ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  23. True, but a lot of the insane things they did had an impact on shelf life of angles (Higher Power, Kennel from Hell), and the in ring product (which was really rather bad in 99). Numbers may have been through the roof, but there was an impact on other areas of the company and profit is not the only way to judge how successful something is.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  25. But not having come out and cut the type of promo he did at the Bash.

    ReplyDelete
  26. litaphorically speaking

    ReplyDelete
  27. http://wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2015/0522/594532/dixie-carter-reportedly-accidentally-sends-e-mail-to-destination/



    The hits just keep on coming. LOLTNA.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I don't think they were under any illusions about Savage over Sting. It was just an angle to put Savage in the nWo.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You may be right. It just seemed there was a bit of uncertainty to them going all in with Sting in the early days of the nWo. This could probably be down to them feeling there way into the whole angle.

    By Early 97 they'd obviously strapped the rocket to him though - only for Hogan to crash land it later in the year.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Killer promo from Sting here; wonder why he didn't do that more often?

    ReplyDelete
  31. They're the Dubstep Cowboys, aren't they?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sting always had good promos. Dude was charismatic as fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  33. On here, yeah. During that 'Itami has been attacked in the parking lot!' clip they were called the DUBSTEP CADETS (at least in the full clip shown at the start of the Pre-Show). But they were announced as Blake & Murphy.


    WWE has no interest in any TNA talent. They can 'create' their own *wink wink*


    So! The Australian-American Wolves.


    I can't wait to find out which one is the massive douche who burns all his bridges!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. If it turns out that Russo was the one who actually sent that email, I'm buying everyone here a drink.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sting's an underrated promo guy. He isn't going to do a 20 minute special ala Foley or Flair but give him something short and to the point and his unique charisma always sold it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. THIS IS ALL MELTZER'S FAULT! EVERYTHING IS FINE, DAMMIT! DESTINATION AMERICA IS NOT CANCELLING THE SHOW!


    WARBBLE BLARGLE FLARGLE!

    ReplyDelete
  37. "Apparently our world changing forever is TBA."



    So, it's Half-Life 3?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Ummmm, Billy Corgan is far from broke.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!May 22, 2015 at 5:55 AM

    Man, the blood must have been in the deep freezer 'cause it's been running cold for awhile.

    ReplyDelete
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  41. ☞☞☞ $73.. per-hr @mi14//<-Make A huge profit just doing Simple Google Tasks....... Last saturday I got a great Alfa Romeo after I been earning $9498 this past four weeks and a little over 10k lass month . with-out a doubt this is the nicest-work Ive ever had . I actually started 4 months ago and pretty much immediately began to make more than $89.. per-hour . find out here now ->

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  42. He's been doing that for three months.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  44. I don't think they ever shoehorned Savage into being the guy. Less than two months after this Sting does the "only thing for sure is nothing's for sure" gimmick and off he starts on the biggest deal of his career. I don't see a single shred of evidence that Savage was so far beyond Luger or Sting that he was being shoe horned. Not to mention Savage was their biggest babyface right before Hogan came back feuding with Flair. So yeah basically I disagree a million percent with the second half of your statement.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I love Sting he might be my second favorite wrestler of all time. I would say he had charisma but he was never great at working the mic. Meaning he had a presence about him and he could get in a few good lines but he never talked me into an arena.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Savage wasn't hanging with Sting in the rafters until early 97 well after Sting was already doing his crow gimmick and even at that he turned heels weeks after that. So yeah Savage gets spray painted and jobs in Oct of 96. He comes back on January 20th 97 and he turns heel Feb 23rd 97 so yeah they never shoe horned him or wanted him to be the guy. Even if they were considering it Savage was the number 2 face at the very least and had a HUGE history with Hogan and I believe Savage being Steve Austin and going crazy and disrupting the nWo and what not could have been money. Everything Austin did in 98 Savage could have done in 97 and it would have been completely believable.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Oh my god, now they have to tell the talent themselves to tune into the Impact Zone if they want to find out.

    ReplyDelete
  48. So Dixies doing porn?

    ReplyDelete
  49. There's literally NO reason for me to laugh at this comment, and yet I did. Twice. Upvote for you, sir.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yeah my timings are possibly off a bit and perhaps I'm looking at with the bias of my old school WCW glasses on as - WWE guy come in, takes WCW guy spot.

    Not quite sure Savage could be Steve Austin though the same as Steve Austin couldn't have been Randy Savage in the late 80's. Both once in a life timer performers, perfect for their eras.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Nothing said publicly actually flat out states "we are not being canceled." does it?

    ReplyDelete
  52. Yeah exactly. He's a short and quick guy with the promo's and that works fine.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Try to be less of a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!May 22, 2015 at 6:55 AM

    "I don't see a single shred of evidence" --- well, we know how good you are at looking for evidence.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Your story about the girlfriend calling you in the middle of the Hogan thing reminds me that I lost a high school girlfriend because I didn't want to talk to her on the phone...


    ... because there was a REALLY good Edge/Angle PPV match going on at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Oh, and the politically correct term is... Loserweight.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Story keeps getting better and better

    According to the Voices of Wrestling podcast, TNA now has egg on its face after Dixie Carter inadvertently sent an email to Destination America insulting the network.

    The hosts said that a wrestler contacted them and were sent a screenshot from last week which featured TNA President Dixie Carter referring to the suits at Destination America as "dummies." The screenshot also revealed that Carter had accidentally cc'd the e-mail to the current President of Destination America.

    The hosts also specified that they didn't know if the e-mail was before or after the announcement of TNA Impact Wrestling being moved to Wednesday nights. There are rumors running rampant that Destination America was planning to cancel the show within the past few weeks, a situation that still very well may be happening.

    This situation is eerily similar to a situation last year which involved Vince Russoaccidentally sending scripts to PWInsider's Mike Johnson instead of TNA announcer Mike Tenay. Previously, Spike TV had requested to TNA that Vince Russo not be involved with a company. TNA opted to keep Russo on secretly anyway.

    To listen to Voices of Wrestling's full podcast, go to this link.

    ReplyDelete
  58. nah, Ryder just said TNA will survive, and the official statement said that false statements were being attributed. Carefully worded stuff. No actual "We'll be on DA for years to come". So conspicuous by it's absence I'm amazed the statement didn't set off further alarm bells for TNA fans rather than somehow *debunk* Meltzer. But I don't think they're thinking rationally at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  59. What a thought. Cringe.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I thought Savage going to the nWo was bad but at least we got a great feud with DDP out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  61. And who the heck uses "dummies" in any tone, anyway? Really?

    ReplyDelete
  62. Destinaton 'Murica!

    ReplyDelete
  63. No, Ryder's response is carefully worded truth. They're not "cancelled" (at this moment), but they will be. They are spiraling out of control at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  64. When he stopped talking for over a year it proved that he is a natural at making a connection with the audience.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I like the Crash Test Dummies. Here's my loving tribute:

    Once there was this girl whose
    Parents gave her a wrestling show
    She had no clue what to do with
    And when they finally cancelled it
    She lied and blamed it all on Dave Meltzer
    She couldn’t quite explain it
    She’d always just done that

    Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

    ReplyDelete
  66. Still, STILL no one has actually denied Meltzer's story. This whole thing could be over in five minutes if someone from DA said "we do not plan on canceling TNA this fall as reported."

    ReplyDelete
  67. Sting was at his most popular when he didn't talk.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Keep in mind too Hogan/Savage had been set in stone since 1995 for HH 96. The match and Slim Jim sponsorship were all part of the MGM Grand deal.

    ReplyDelete
  69. This is amazing lol

    ReplyDelete
  70. It'd be iibel not slander!

    ReplyDelete
  71. I'm not a fucking sat nav

    ReplyDelete
  72. It seems that these days the WWE's default face mode is "cool heel" and the default heel mode is "insincere face."

    ReplyDelete
  73. El Hijo de Al LobamaMay 22, 2015 at 10:09 AM

    shut up andy pg

    ReplyDelete
  74. Do we have heel and face Divas anymore, because I have no idea who is what anymore. Do we like the Bellas, or just the one Steph had arrested? There are divas like Alicia Fox who seem to be heel or face depending on what they need that day. S'confusing.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I can think girls can be endearing in the same way boys can be endearing.


    And it sounds better as a possessive plural. Like "these are my girls" sounds better than "these are my women".

    ReplyDelete
  76. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 23, 2015 at 11:10 AM

    Well apparently girls has a bad historical context or something and not referring to them as women is demeaning because it's the Women's Title. It didn't make a ton of sense to me either.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I get how girls could be considered to be demeaning, as it has a connotation of youth which can be insulting. It's like calling somebody kid.


    But yet again, it isn't "woman power" or "riot women", it's girl power and riot grrrl.


    Woman is two syllables while girl is one, it just flows better. Anybody who seriously thinks you're sexist for calling them girls needs to get over themselves. You're not calling it the "Tits Title" or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  78. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 23, 2015 at 3:41 PM

    Indeed. It came off as much ado about nothing. Also in every interview I've ever heard from a wrestler, the locker room is known as "the boys". Is that demeaning to them?

    ReplyDelete
  79. Well, the situation for men and women is different. Being a tomboy is not nearly as insulting as a boy being called girly (for some stupid reason). But in reference to wrestlers, 'girls' doesn't demean their ability or their talent. Even the female roster referred to themselves as "girls" with the Like A Girl campaign they did (which was SUPER cool, if you haven't seen it).


    If anything, I'd say that "boy" is used because it designates that wrestling is a fairly childish profession. I don't mean that in an insulting way, but pretending to be heroes and villains while engaging in a scripted version (and I do emphasis version) of Greco-Roman Wrestling is something that really seems like it could only come out of a childs brain.


    Which is why I think wrestling is awesome, at its best, there's a sincerity to it that can only be found in the young. There's a sense of play that only comes from having some connection to your inner-child. It's probably why wrestlers are so nice to kids, they find in them kindred spirits.


    That's why I think that promos about buyrates and drawing and respect get tedious after a certain point. I think most people entered wrestling fandom because they saw some ridiculous feats of physicality or some ridiculously dressed individual and thought "This is the greatest thing ever". Focusing on it as a business detracts from the magic of wrestling.

    ReplyDelete
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