Tuesday, June 2, 2015

WWE Monday Night RAW - 6/1/2015

With Elimination Chamber behind us and Money in the Bank on the horizon, Monday Night RAW sees Technically Champion Seth Rollins chasing after Pseudo Champion Dean Ambrose for a belt that will soon find its way to Kofi Kingston.

Just making sure you're awake.

In other news, Kevin Owens has come into his own, beating John Cena -- which, hopefully, still means something in two weeks when WWE puts that steak back on the grill at Money in the Bank.

In any case, things seem to be getting interesting heading into the summer...let's see what goes down...

We start with a slow-motion montage of the Ambrose/Rollins Dusty Finish.

We are LIVE(!!!) from San Antonio, Texas for WWE Monday Night RAW!!!

JBL, Cole and Booker are the guys at the talking table.

The New Day starts us off! Just kidding. Triple H, Steph, Rollins, Kane and J&J all head to the ring with sour faces and no World Title. Steph introduces Rollins as champion but Rollins just folds his arms and pouts. Steph says that Ambrose has the belt and that doesn't mean anything because all he can do is steal stuff and commit assault. Steph says maybe they should fine or fire Ambrose. 

Triple H says they won't have to do that. Ambrose is crazy but not stupid. He says that he gave Ambrose until tonight to bring back the belt. So, he calls out Ambrose. He says he would be willing to discuss things. Nothing happens. The crowd chants their "Justin Bieber" chant. Triple H tells the crowd to shut up and says he's waiting -- then, it's angry Triple Hulk as he growls for Ambrose to get out to the ring.

Roman Reigns answers instead. He comes to ring with a smug smirk on his face. He says the Authority doesn't seem happy to see him -- but San Antonio is. He says that Ambrose isn't here and won't be back -- unless he's granted a rematch. Specifically, a ladder match. Steph says that they don't negotiate as the mics go all funky and start feeding back. Reigns says that he saw Ambrose pin Rollins. Rollins loses his shit and says Ambrose didn't beat him. Reigns says Ambrose beat him and so did Reigns. Reigns says that Rollins was cool when he was in The Shield but not now that he works for Mom and Dad and the world's smallest security team.

Rollins has had it and says that Ambrose will get his rematch. Triple H gets in the way of things but Rollins isn't having it. He says he doesn't need anyone but himself. He trashes Kane and Security and the rest of The Authority. Rollins storms off by himself.

Steph turns to Reigns and tells him that he's smug as hell. Triple H gets between Reigns and Steph the Insane Wife. He says that Reigns is the man going to Money in the Bank, something that he should be familiar with, since Rollins used it to smash his hopes at WrestleMania. He says that, after tonight, Reigns may not BE in Money in the Bank. If he loses, he's out. Triple H says he will find Reigns an opponent and they will be here in a few.

With that, the segment concludes. Actually, very nicely done. Reigns was great on the mic tonight.

When we come back from break, Roman Reigns' opponent is King Barrett. Oh, yeah. Triple H is soooo "mad".

MATCH #1: Roman Reigns vs. King Barrett
Some grappling to start, then a side headlock by Barrett that almost culminates in a Samoan Drop. Barrett escapes but Roman kicks Barrett in the jaw, then splashes him in the corner. Roman kicks at the chest of Barrett who ends up on the bottom rope. Roman goes for the Missile Dropkick outside but Barrett rolls out of the way. Roman presses his attack and rolls Barrett back in the ring -- then clotheslines him back out again. Reigns goes after him and Barrett fights back. Barrett kicks the steel steps at Reigns which Reigns sells like he broke his knee. Barrett gets back into the ring and we're going right back to break after just five minutes. During commercial break, Barrett did something awful to Reigns and has him in a headlock. Reigns comes back and tries a splash but misses. Barrett kicks him in the stomach and gets a two count. Another long headlock spot. Reigns breaks again and finally hits the Samoan Drop. Both men are down, but get to their feet. Boo/Yay punch exchange ends with Reigns hitting a Running Clothesline. Barrett takes two more of those and Reigns puts him in a corner and just wails away. Barrett fights back but Reigns just belts him in the mouth. Reigns gets a near fall after a cross body off an Irish Whip. Barrett tries for Wasteland. Reigns escapes and runs at Barrett who catches him for Winds of Change for two. Barrett sets up for the Bullhammer but Reigns moves and rolls Barrett up, then picks him up and Powerbombs him with one arm. Two count. Reigns sets up for the Spear but Barrett rolls out of the ring again. Reigns chases and Barrett rakes Reigns' eyes, then goes for the Bullhammer. Another miss and it's the Spear for the win at 14:07.
WINNER: Roman Reigns via Spear
RATING: **3/4. Better than expected but not much velocity to it and needlessly long at near 15 minutes. Why is Reigns taking so long to beat a guy who jobs left and right? In any case, I don't know what they're gonna do with King Costume Shop next...but maybe it's time to forget KOTR ever happened.

Cole puts us through a recap of Cena/Owens. Apparently, THE CHAMP IS HERE. Which one? STAY TUNED!!!

Roman Reigns wanders around, all triumphant, backstage. He bumps into Triple H and Steph -- who tell him that was only his FIRST opponent. He's gonna face Mark Henry next. They wish him luck.

Byron interviews Nikki who is like, just, like, sooooo proud of herself! Paige interrupts and says that there was a Divas Battle Royal awhile back but she never got to face Nikki because Naomi beat her up. Now she's back and she wants her title shot. Nikki accepts all heel-like, I guess. I have no idea what the Bellas are besides models who wrestle. Anyhow, that match is tonight.

Ryback is out to the ring to talk to the fans. He says that he's proud to be the Intercontinental Champion. And that's pretty much it. The Miz is out to face him next.

When we come back, Miz and Ryback are ready to throw down...and here comes the Big Show to crash the show into the mountain. Show cocks his fist, ready to strike Ryback...but slugs Miz instead and I can't believe I actually approve of that. Not so fast, though: Show grabs a mic and says that he wants to be the one to face Ryback for the title. Show says Ryback ain't "The Big Guy". He says Ryback has nothing on him. They go nose to nose. Instead of attacking, Show leaves after what I'm sure was both a face turn and a heel turn in the space of 48 seconds. Anyhow, nobody in the arena cares. And nothing happening with the title, I guess.

TONIGHT: Hey! We still have a Divas Title Match...so, y'know, there's that...

NEXT: Kevin Owens is here.

When we get back, Owens is here. He says he does what he claims he is going to do. He beat Zayn, won the NXT Title and he also beat John Cena. He delivers on his promises. Owens says he spoke to his kid about Cena. His kid wanted to know how Cena was after Owens beat him. He says he doesn't blame his son for liking Cena because WWE has been portrayed as a real-life superhero. All Cena's done is talk and spew catchphrases while Owens traveled and fought. He says he beat Super Cena last night. He says that he's gonna show that a real role model doesn't rely on bright colors and catchphrases. Real role models deliver on promises like he does. 

Cena's music hits as Owens does that weird grimace thing. Crowd doesn't sound as enthused as they have been. Cena calls him a jackass, then tells Owens to be humble. Careful, John! Owens' son is watching! Cena says all he's heard about in the past 24 hours is Elimination Chamber. Cena says he admits that he got beat. He says that Owens doesn't deserve a shot at the United States Championship or the NXT Title. He says that Owens is concerned about being a real role model when he should be concerned about being a real MAN. Cena says Owens' son likes him because he delivers and beats people. Otherwise, his son would be wearing "an Adam Rose t-shirt and be worshipping the Funkydactyls while wishing he could play in the XFL." Sheesh, the XFL is long gone, Adam Rose is booked if he's lucky and Naomi's already been buried by Paige. Cena's assholishness knows no bounds, it seems. He says that everyone likes him because he doesn't give up -- then points out a young fan with Cena gear waving a sign that reads "I AM BEATING CANCER". Cena tells that kid not to give up. He challenges Owens to a fight but Owens won't have it and leaves.

It's irritating that Cena did his usual, "I'm still better than you" thing -- and it got obnoxious with the "I'm still a real man", "that kid has cancer and doesn't give up" pandering...but I like that we're showing Owens being a human being, albeit sooner than I would have liked, but ok. On the one hand, it's brilliant that Owens is human and Cena picked him apart like a roasted chicken...but on the other, this is the guy that wasn't afraid of Cena and manhandled him the last couple of weeks and seeing him chicken out, looking visibly afraid is really a step down for me. It's a bit of a sharp left turn. Still, good promo.

STILL TO COME:
  • Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry
  • Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
The New Day is out here for more fucking talking. Look, I have a gripe. According to my DVR, we're an hour and twenty minutes into this thing and we've had one match. Anyhow, Woods says San Antonio should be pleased to have champs in their presence. He gets cheap heat for calling Tim Duncan "old" and saying he should "retire". He says that The New Day is hot and they're on fire. New Day Rocks/Sucks. Out is Ziggler with Lana.

MATCH #2: Dolph Ziggler (w/ Lana) vs. Kofi Kingston (w/ Big E & Xavier Woods)
Whoa, a match. We're having these tonight? Ziggler and Kofi lock up as the crowd chants for Lana who stands on the entrance ramp because that's suddenly what she does as a valet. Ziggler hits a dropkick after some running around and it's a Ziggler Splash in the corner. Kofi misses one of his own. Ziggler tries another splash but Kofi boots him in the face. Kofi applies a headlock but Ziggler breaks and hits another Ziggler splash and elbow drop. Two count. (DANIELLE: Where's Lana? ME: Top of the ramp. DANIELLE: What, are her heels so high, she can't get to the ring?) Ziggler hits a nice DDT that should win the match but Kofi kicks out...only to have Ziggler win the match on a roll-up at 3:15.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
RATING: 1/2 a *, if that. 

Post-match, E and Woods run in for a mudhole stomp on Ziggler. Prime Time Players show up and save the day. We go to break.

When we come back, HOLD ON A MINUTE, PLAYA! It's a six-man tag match...

MATCH #3: WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day (Xavier Woods, Big E & Kofi Kingston) vs. Dolph Ziggler & The Prime Time Players (Titus O'Neil & Darren Young) (non-title)
When we come back from break, Titus drops Darren Young on top of Woods, which gets a two count. Young stomps at Kofi and hits an armbar. Woods escapes and tags in E. E attacks and ends up with a Belly to Belly on a distraction by Woods, who tags in to stomp at Young. All three guys get the mudhole stomp spot but the ref doesn't DQ anyone for Wrestling Too Hard, so this continues. E tosses Kofi at Young and Kofi hits a dropkcik on the way in. Kofi kicks Young and it's a two count. Kofi hits a dropkick and it's a tag to Woods who hits a flying fist drop. Woods puts Young in a Cobra Clutch of sorts but Young breaks because DiBiase did that better years ago. Tag to E who hits Snake Eyes with Young on the buckle. Near fall. E tags in, attacks Ziggler, knocking him off the mat, then misses a Warrior Splash on Young. Hot tag to Titus who is all over Xavier Woods. He turns and clotheslines E out of the ring, then hits a backbreaker and toss on Kofi. HUGE Powerslam to Woods nearly gets a fall but Kofi saves the pin. Young hits the neckbreaker on him and they leave the ring. Woods rolls up Titus for two. Titus gets up and Ziggler hits a Superkick on Woods before Titus finishes with the Pump-Handle Slam to finish it at 5:34.
WINNERS: Ziggler and PTP
RATING: *1/2. Not wholly necessary abut not bad either. Better than the last match.

TONIGHT: The Divas Title match

NEXT: Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry. Winner goes to MITB.

EARLIER TONIGHT: Roman Reigns confronted The Authority.

AT MITB: Dean Ambrose faces Seth Rollins.

MATCH #4: Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry
Lemme just axe a quesshun: why doesn't Triple H just say, "Fuck you, Roman. You're out of MITB for helping Ambrose"? I mean, that would make a shit-ton more sense to me than putting him through a bunch of mid-card crap. Henry just stomps at Reigns in the corner, then clutches at Reigns' left eye, which seems to be hurt. He puts Reigns in the corner and just shoulder-rams him. Big clothesline and an Irish Whip into the corner. Henry misses a splash. Reigns hits a clothesline and lariats. Reigns knocks him down with a running clothesline and then tries the Samoan Drop, hitting it on the second try. Henry rolls out of the ring. Reigns chases but Henry rams him into the ringpost. Reigns comes back with a Superman Punch and Henry is down. Reigns crawls to the ring and wins via countout at 3:45. Yay?
WINNER: Roman Reigns via countout
RATING: 1/2 a *. I almost wanna see Kane face Reigns instead of this. Almost.

Post-match, Henry is suddenly conscious and attacks Reigns, hitting the WSS before leaving the ring. 

TONIGHT: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Roman Reigns wanders by Triple H and Steph in the hallway. They congratulate him again. Reigns asks them if he should keep his vest on to fight again. Triple H tells him yes...and to Follow the Buzzards. *SUDDEN ANGRY TRIPLE H CUT*

Then, it's The New Mega-Powers, New Day and Big Show doing Sonic Shake ads...for three minutes. I mean, why not just hire one of these teams or guys to do the ads instead of putting us through Superstars acting like they're fucking up? 

MATCH #5: Paige (challenger) vs. Nikki Bella (champion) for the WWE Divas Championship
Nikki and Paige exchange grapples and shoves. Nikki hits a Fireman's Carry Takedown and armbar. Paige forearms out of the hold but Nikki immediately hits a belly to belly suplex, then acts like Dolph Ziggler, doing push-ups. Snap Suplex by Nikki. Two count. Chinlock spot by Nikki. Paige breaks but Nikki puts Paige into a leglock. Paige grabs the ropes, then hits Nikki in the boobs with a Superkick. Nikki rolls out of the ring, then starts doing crunches because that's what Nikki always does during matches. Nikki gets back in the ring. Paige catches her with a knee and it's a two count. Paige sets up for the PTO but Nikki kicks out and hits an ALBAMMA SLAMMA for two. Paige comes back with a Superkick and gets two. Paige screams in frustration and Nikki goes for the Rack Attack. Paige fights out, then hits a Ram-Paige off the second buckle. Nikki rolls out of the ring...and, fucking hell, Brie rolls out from under the ring to take Nikki's place. It's the Twin Magic spot for the win at 5:43 because the ref is too fucking stupid to realize that Nikki suddenly lacked giant plastic boobs or an ass? You'd think he'd notice that...welp...'least Parallax is happy. :-/
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Nikki Bella
RATING: *1/4. Nikki's...what? A face? Heel? Paige is...what? Face? Heel? Anyone know or care? Guess we're waiting until Total Divas comes back in July for Nikki to drop the title since that's the only time Creative seems to give a damn about the Divas Division. It's beyond ridiculous that she's still carrying it.

EARLIER TONIGHT: Roman Reigns beat Wade Barrett and Mark Henry.

STILL TO COME: Roman Reigns faces Bray Wyatt.

MATCH #6: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Sheamus locks in an armbar but Orton counters with a Side Headlock. Sheamus forces the break at the ropes. Sheamus rolls him up quickly for a one-count. Orton returns the favor. Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Sheamus puts on another side headlock. Orton breaks with an Irish Whip. Shoulder tackle by Sheamus. Orton comes back with an elbow on the second whip.  The two men exchange punches. Orton starts hitting uppercuts. Sheamus hits a kneelift and an Irish Whip. Orton kicks Sheamus in the jaw and clotheslines him from the ring. Orton chases and the fight continues. Orton tries a side suplex into the crowd but Sheamus blocks it. The fight goes to the announce table where Orton hits the Side Suplex there. Clothesline by Orton and he gets back in the ring to celebrate. When we come back from break, Sheamus slams Orton to the mat for a two count. Sheamus stomps Orton in the corner. Orton kicks at him but Sheamus clotheslines him. Sheamus hits a second buckle Kneedrop for two. Sheamus hits a side headlock but Orton counters with a Side Suplex. Sheamus rolls outside the ring ropes. Orton goes for the Vintage DDT but Sheamus counters and drops his neck on the ropes. Sheamus runs back inside but Orton clotheslines him and hits the Powerslam In Stride. Orton goes for the Rope DDT but Sheamus counters and gets back in the ring. Orton counters Sheamus's grapple and hits a T-Bone Suplex, then the Rope DDT. He sets up for the RKO but Sheamus counters and hits a partial Brogue Kick, connecting with his knee. Orton rolls out of the ring. Sheamus follows and it's a brawl. Orton tosses Sheamus into the timekeeper's pit. Sheamus gets up and nails Orton with a chair for the DQ at 12:57.
WINNER: Randy Orton via DQ
RATING: **1/4. Not terrible. I actually like these two together. They're two of the toughest guys in WWE and that makes for some great matches. Unfortunately, this one falls short. It was made even more frustrating with a DQ spot after we'd invested over ten minutes in this.

Post-match, Sheamus nails Orton with a Brogue, then tosses Orton into the crowd barrier. Orton gets back up to collect himself and Sheamus hits another Brogue, then celebrates.

Byron Saxton has Rusev backstage. Rusev is wearing a medical boot and is on crutches. Rusev says he has nothing. He doesn't have a Championship or career or Lana. He says he's a broken man with a broken ankle and spirit. He is the one who is ca-dushed this time. He knows, however, what he wants and desires and he will get back everything he had.

TONIGHT: Roman Reigns takes on Bray Wyatt.

ON SMACKDOWN: Kevin Owens is issuing an NXT Championship Open Challenge.

Bo Dallas comes to the ring and says, "I wanted to help you, Neville...now I just wanna hurt you..."

MATCH #7: Bo Dallas vs. Neville
This match again? For what it's worth, I like Bo becoming something other than what he props himself up as.  He just stomps and clubs Neville in two corners, then celebrates. He tosses Neville from the ring, then goes outside to follow up, hitting a running clothesline. Bo yells in his face, telling him how much he wants to "help" Neville. He rolls Neville back in the ring and gets a one-count. Euro Headlock by Dallas that goes on for about half the match, as he screams for Neville to quit. Neville finally breaks and tackles Dallas, hitting his set of quick kicks. After flippy-floppying all over the ring, he kicks Dallas to the mat and hits the Red Arrow for the win at 3:09.
WINNER: Neville via Red Arrow.
RATING: *. Ok, fine. Great. This is pretty much a slightly more condensed version of what was seen last night. So what?

NEXT: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

Roman Reigns is in the ring, clutching his rib cage, waiting for Bray Wyatt.

MATCH #8: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
It's a brawl to start this off with both mean taking shots at one another. Wyatt knocks him down, then props him up and punches at his throat. Bray whips Reigns into a corner but Reigns comes back with an uppercut. Reigns punches him in the back of the neck and gets a one count. Suddenly, Seth Rollins, Kane and J&J appear at the entrance ramp...soooo, I guess Rollins really does need The Authority? Bray and Reigns go back and forth. Bray tackles Reigns for two. Bray knocks Reigns out of the ring and we go to break. When we come back, Wyatt tosses Reigns outside the ring ropes. Bray follows and kicks at Reigns. Bray trips Reigns and Reigns hits the mat. Bray rolls him in the ring and nearly gets a fall. Bray hits a Corner Clothesline, but misses the second one as Reigns comes roaring out of the corner with a clothesline. Reigns gets up and Bray misses another Corner Clothesline, careening into the ringpost. Reigns hits a DDT, then gets up and hits some huge clotheslines in the corner. He sends Bray out of the ring. Reigns goes outside and hits the Sitting Dropkick as Wyatt flies into the crowd barrier. Reigns rolls him back into the ring but Wyatt goes on the attack, stomping at him. Wyatt hits a running clothesline and a Reverse Senton for two. Bray looks up at the new MITB case and then slaps at Reigns who smiles. Reigns slaps him back. Wyatt charges and Reigns hits the Samoan Drop. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch but misses and hits the Standing Spinebuster, nearly getting a fall. Wyatt does the Spider Walk, then goes for  Sister Abigail. Reigns ducks it and rolls Bray up for two. Reigns hits a Superman Punch...and, suddenly, The Authority comes running down to ruin things. Reigns gets up and attacks Joey Mercury, then turns and looks at Kane. Bray gets up and attacks but Reigns sends Bray into Kane, knocking him down, then hits a Spear on Bray to finish this at 12:13.
WINNER: Roman Reigns via Spear
RATING: **3/4. Remember when Bray was over as fuck, battling John Cena for his soul at WrestleMania? Yeah, those were good times. How the mighty have fallen...and was there a reason why The Authority didn't just rush down and beat on Bray Wyatt to cause a DQ? Sigh...

Post-match, The Authority surrounds the ring to pick at what's left of Reigns...but Ambrose's music hits. Rollins tells Security to get ready and waits for Ambrose to hit the ring...except he's under the Announce Table as Cole pretends he had no fucking idea Ambrose was there the entire goddamn time. Him and Reigns clean house. Rollins attacks Ambrose but Ambrose tosses the belt at him. Rollins catches it and looks at it. Ambrose uses that distraction to hit Dirty Deeds, then grabs the title again. He and Reigns book it for the crowd again as Triple H and Steph come out to the ring to join Rollins who is livid.

OVERALL: Enjoyable end. Show was fair with a lot of filler and matches that I didn't care about. I'll go **. Better luck next week.

And, of course, the Best of Monday Night Open Mic:



















Er...that's it.

683 comments:

  1. I honestly wonder if the Twin Magic moment was a frantic attempt by the WWE to deflect the "so all black guys look the same?" reactions to the Kofi/Woods switch, seeing as the Bellas havent looked particularly alike for a while...

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  2. Also, is this the start of the New SCSA push for Ambrose? Or is this just a filler before he gets shoved back to midcard obscurity?

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  3. Do you really need me to answer that?

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  4. Don't worry it's just another attempt at a heat transplant for Reigns.

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  5. Macklin, Conscience of the BoDJune 2, 2015 at 4:14 AM

    I remember WWF did the twin magic switcheroo with Demolition. Except Ax switched in for Crush which was hilarious because those two couldn't look any more different.

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  6. I remember a six man match with The Killer Bees and Koko "Bee" Ware, where they all wore masks, and Koko tried to swap in for Blair...and it was the one time in history whete the ref was NOT outsmarted.

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  7. Yes, this. If AJ was still around, they'd find a way to work her into the angle to in order to let Reigns leech off her popularity too

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  8. Rusev and Lana are both losing their accents. By this time next year he'll be "The Boston Brute" and she'll be "The Ravishing Republican."

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  9. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 6:43 AM

    Could Koko BEE any more obvious?


    Hyuck, Hyuck, Hyuck.

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  10. I think everyone had forgotten about that long before last night, not that there was a particularly big backlash over it?

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  11. Rusev is actually Bulgaria though...

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  12. Dolph is Americanizing her.

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  13. In Rusev's case - he can repackaged while he's on the shelf. Reintroduce him as a new character. At least on the air no one refers to Kane as a former dentist & Diesel.

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  14. I was surprised that the Rock never made a reference to Kane's past in his promos. In the same vein as his "Billy" promo and the Hell In A Cell bury everyone promo. But then I remembered that was back when Kane was thought of as terrifying and protected that part of him. *insert Marv smiley here*

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  15. I'm still hoping for Rusev to be Taz 2.0 or the muscle for someone or a facton. He actually has the look of an 80s Italian so I can see Vince greenlighting something like that.

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  16. "The Iceman" Rusev. He needs to wear a black velour sweat suit wherever he goes. No shirt underneath, hair chest, gold crucifix necklace.

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  17. ...with his penis! USA-USA-USA.

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  18. There were several of us yesterday who said it would be brilliant to have Reigns help Ambrose chase the title in order to get fan buy-in. I think it's smarter than trying to push Reigns the same way they did before.


    That said, it's a bit of an eye-roller that I'm supposed to believe that he's battling The Authority when they are trying to make him the golden boy of the promotion. Vince may as well be in the background yelling "HE'S FIGHTING THE SYSTEM! CHEER FOR HIM DAMMIT!"

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  19. The storyline should have her marrying him for citizenship.

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  20. I remember there was a real buzz when they teamed up.

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  21. That'd be a good one. That happened to a friend of mine.


    That would be a natural feud for the Real Americans.

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  22. That's just far too reasonable and interesting for the WWE.

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  23. "Do you or don't you work for the USSR?" "Forget about the past, Comrade"

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  24. As a face, he would get huge pops at Madison Square Garden.

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  25. "chicken out, looking visibly afraid is really a step down for me."



    He does this in every single feud he is in, he plays mind games.

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  26. Now, now Cult. You are forgetting that Owens=Brock and they should behave in the exact same way, regardless of how Owens' actual character works, or how he's behaved in every feud he's had in WWE.

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  27. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Now, now Rock. You are forgetting sarcasm-y comment, sarcasm-y comment, regardless of sarcasm-y comment, or how sarcasm-y comment's sarcasmy-comment. ;)

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  28. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooJune 2, 2015 at 8:23 AM

    So...LOLTNA?

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  29. I'm gonna have my 10,000th comment at some point today if a Daily Thread goes up.

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  30. Good for Samoan Joseph.

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  31. BB, didn't you do a shoot on Tommy Rogers?

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  32. The funny thing is that Brock does this all the time too.

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  33. Kevin Owens is doing an "OPEN CHALLENGE" for the NXT Title tonight on Smackdown.

    Chances of newly-signed WWE exclusive Samoa Joe answering that challenge?

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  34. Let's start a conversation that'll get you yackin'. :)

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  35. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:26 AM

    Don't know if I should congratulate or hug so he can touch another human being....hmmm.

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  36. Oh yeah, it's not a BAD move to try to link Ambrose and Reigns, but the motive is definitely clear.

    You know, so much of this would be improved if there was no "Authority" at all

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  37. SO in the Classic Observer on the site today, it's the week Raw finally won the ratings and Flair went AWOL. Bischoff apparently tells the talent that he'd planned to reform the Horseman on the show Flair no-showed. The lineup would have been Flair, Goldberg, Luger and Kevin Greene. That would have changed 1998 somewhat I imagine.

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  38. Not likely, NXT is already taped for the next month.

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  39. That sounds terrible.

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  40. Hm, JoJo is dating Vader's son

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  41. That may have been the worst Horsemen lineup in years.

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  42. Good for Joe. But sucky for Joe too, historically. Imagine how much more merch money he could have made had he been with a company that knew how to promote itself or its stars for most of his career.

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  43. man, look at you guys. Matt with 6k, Matt with 3k. What do you folks DO all day?

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  44. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJune 2, 2015 at 8:28 AM

    "He was found at about 3 a.m. by his roommate in a chair in front of a computer, gurgling. "


    Sounds like he OD'ed

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  45. I don't see how any of those tapings means that Joe can't answer the challenge.

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  46. He sold a lot of merch AND solved their problem of what to do with Alex Riley.

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  47. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:29 AM

    I'm proud of my 6k, damn it! It means I purposely ignore work and sometimes my daughter! DAMN THE MAN.....and little girl....


    ....and now I feel bad.

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  48. Working. I can't believe I still have a job what with all the commenting. :(

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  49. You know, there really is no reason for Triple H and Stephanie to be weekly characters. Rollins could have the same feud with Ambrose/Reigns with J&J Security as his entourage. If they REALLY insist on having an authority figure, Kane is right there as a tweener "Director of Operations".



    I'm not sure if Vince realizes that having Triple H/Stephanie on TV really cuts the balls off his top heel.

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  50. My roommate found me like that once, but I wasn't OD'ing.

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  51. Yes, did the Fantastics shoot

    Disc One

    http://www.rspwfaq.net/2015/01/rf-video-shoot-interview-with.html

    Disc Two

    http://www.rspwfaq.net/2015/01/rf-video-shoot-interview-with_9.html

    ReplyDelete
  52. Did I miss anything good on the podcast with Heyman last night?

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hey Maggle, I thought we got rid of that Just Joe moron in 2000. Look at him now, he's a fat guy wrestlin' in boxer shorts! What kind of loser wrestles in boxer shorts?

    ReplyDelete
  54. I have no idea how I've written 10,000 comments. I don't remember any of them. is this really my life's creative work?

    ReplyDelete
  55. It was really, really good.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Now, now Matt. Frying pan hands, LOLCENAWINS you have to see Blandy Boreton in person to appreciate his size. Meaty thighs, HHHH.

    ReplyDelete
  57. To be fair, WWE has a history of booking their top heels as pussies.

    ReplyDelete
  58. That's assuming they think Rollins is the top heel.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I'll see if it's up on the network. If not, Austin will release it within the next week.

    ReplyDelete
  60. It wasn't anything groundbreaking, just two guys shooting the shit. Great facial reactions and stories, and the last 5 minutes were awesome

    ReplyDelete
  61. Googling?

    ReplyDelete
  62. Maybe, or maybe if he didn't build up an underground legend for years, he wouldn't have debuted with as much support and gotten a big rush of sales like he has.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Sure, but it's time for a change. I REALLY don't care to see Kevin Owens added to the main roster as a pussy stooge for The Authority.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:33 AM

    Now, now Rock. I took your advice and stopped quoting memes. It's not very fair to bring it back up. How about you take my advice and stop judging people so much?

    ReplyDelete
  65. From the Fantastics Shoot here is Tommy Rogers talking about chairshots:

    "Tommy said that Bobby Eaton was one of the best workers in the business and that he thought Dennis Condrey and Stan Lane were very good as well. Bobby said that Eaton almost killed him with a chairshot to the head when he was in a straight jacket."

    ReplyDelete
  66. I doubt he would have been allowed to have the kind of matches that made him famous if he'd come up in WWE.

    ReplyDelete
  67. NAH MAN IM ALRIGHT

    ReplyDelete
  68. I can't wait to see how WWE gets out of the Ziggler-Lana pairing. It sucks to high hell.

    ReplyDelete
  69. I'm also just sick of it for its own sake. We've been watching different incarnations of it for 15 f'ing years.

    ReplyDelete
  70. SAY IT AINT SO!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJune 2, 2015 at 8:35 AM

    Rusev came off as the babyface during the show.

    ReplyDelete
  72. For some ungodly reason, ratings plummet when they're not there.

    ReplyDelete
  73. The last thing Goldberg needed in 1998 was to be part of a stable, let alone one whose central theme is "Ric Flair."

    ReplyDelete
  74. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:35 AM

    Bobby Eaton was one of the best workers, and killed him with a chairshot? I feel like Tommy doesn't understand the word "worker" here.

    ReplyDelete
  75. What sucks, is that as redundant and boring as they are, ratings seem to go down without them.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I'm not sure Vince can even fathom how to operate a wrestling show anymore without authority figures dominating the program.

    ReplyDelete
  77. But if that was his goal (monetize his efforts by going to wwe earlier) he would've taken a different approach i think. Maybe he just wasn't incentivized by what they can offer.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    If that Joe story is true, it's pretty amazing what makes Vince happy. They sold out of one Joe t-shirt. Somebody should tell Cesaro that he needs an awesome t-shirt and maybe he'll be "connecting with the fans" more.

    ReplyDelete
  79. He could just watch his own program from 1970-whatever until 1996. Or he could if they'd finish uploading it to the Network.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonJune 2, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    I don't remember the Fantastics wrestling the Eaton/Condrey version of the Midnights.

    ReplyDelete
  81. A guy mistreating his women only to be crushed when he realizes the error of his ways after she leaves him is more sympathetic than a woman who's idea of standing up to her man is to hop on another guy 20 minutes later.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooJune 2, 2015 at 8:38 AM

    The Shield as the lead heel faction with Rollins as champion and Reigns and Ambrose as his slowly dissenting backup would be so much better than the Authority bringing the show to a screeching halt every week.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 8:38 AM

    Money. Money makes Vince happy, which is not really surprising to anyone who has watched wrestling, like, ever.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I think Owens would be awesome there. His character is already a "pick his spots bully." He could kill any accidental face pops by explaining that he joined to feed his family. I bet he'd even start wearing a suit.

    ReplyDelete
  85. They've booked themselves as the top heels, in addition to booking other heels as a level beneath them. That makes sense, but at the same time, it's tired.

    HHH and Steph are good at what they do, but they don't allow the other heels to show that they could be AS good. Rollins should really be more than the whiny brat that runs to mommy and daddy.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Pretty amazing that he makes one non-wrestling appearance in NXT and his t-shirt sells out within days.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I think sometimes you have to be willing to eat the ratings a bit. It's a sports team rebuilding a roster. The rookies may lose for a while, but eventually they will be the stars.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Yeah! Jean shorts or nothing, mother fuckers!!!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonJune 2, 2015 at 8:39 AM

    If Owens goes up to the main roster, then Joe should stay in NXT. The characters are similar.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Yes, what you describe would be awesome. But based on WWE's booking for the past 15 years, the Evil Promoter's lapdog is often a total pussy who hides behind the strong-armed authority, who is the REAL power heel.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Merchandising should fuck with Vince next time and make only 10 shirts of a new star.


    "He sold out!"

    ReplyDelete
  92. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:40 AM

    Right. I guess I shouldn't have used the word "amazing". I'm just saying....one t-shirt sold out.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Aye. Rollins whining about how the Authority should be there when they're not there isn't cool. They make the shows they're not on openly "Authority B-Team" shows, as Kane and Rollins hang around all show and mention HHH and Steph in every segment.

    ReplyDelete
  94. They wrestled them a thousand times in World Class.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Ah, the Poochie booking method.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:41 AM

    Well, Joe has been around for 15 years....visible in TNA and ROH, and he's cool, and his shirt is cool. Pretty winning combo.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Maybe it would've been better though than what did happen. A slower build and Goldberg not getting a shot at the big title until WCW's focus was actually ready for it. The rest of 98 couldn't have been booked any worse than it was. I'd take any number of butterfly effect style booking changes to WCW in that year.

    ReplyDelete
  98. So, Ric Flair and three guys who couldn't work very well?

    ReplyDelete
  99. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooJune 2, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    I'm also guessing that his expectations for a TNA guy were pretty low to begin with.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    Not really. Owens is a bad ass who does every trick in the book to win. Joe is a wrestling machine and beats the hell out of you, but does it legit at all times. They may both be bad asses, but they go about it differently.

    ReplyDelete
  101. It was the second half of that year that the show started totally going off the rails, IIRC. We got a weird dynamic of Flair and Hogan trading places, despite Hogan not really getting much comeuppance for all of his nWo activities.

    ReplyDelete
  102. The Horsemen were built on guys who could really hold their own and who made their opponents better. This version.....wouldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  103. True, maybe I should have said that's the second-to-last thing he needed, behind what actually happened.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Buffalo HopscotchJune 2, 2015 at 8:44 AM

    People probably think that because they stick their beaks into every major storyline or decision and have been doing it for so long that if they're not on the show then nothing important will happen or be announced.

    That probably doesn't apply to HHH and Steph specifically, but just the fact that ever since '97 they've pretty much run with always having someone in power as a major player.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Not to mention that Dolph is completely unlikable. He's the cocky frat douche everybody wants to punch in the mouth. Lana choosing HIM makes no sense at all.

    ReplyDelete
  106. He should try making better decisions. They make him $$$.

    ReplyDelete
  107. AverageJoeEverymanJune 2, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    looks like Tomikazi's are on the menu tonight

    ReplyDelete
  108. Rollins is good enough to hold his own. He's shown this multiple times. But no one is allowed to upstage HHH.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Not in the least. The Horsemen were the guys who could carry anyone to a good match. These guys need to BE carried.


    Luger had his time where he was good, but I'm struggling to think of a really good Luger match after his WWF run.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooJune 2, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    With KO and possibly Joe coming up to the main show, the roster now resembles a 1970s lineup rather than a 1980s/1990s one in terms of physiques.

    This is a good thing, mind you.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    While for the most part this is true, I am pretty happy with the way the show has been going the last few weeks. New Day is awesome, they brought Owens up, they signed Joe, The Shield storyline is the MAIN EVENT. I have very few complaints.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I wouldn't be surprised if they change Joe's name now.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Buffalo HopscotchJune 2, 2015 at 8:47 AM

    Haha, that's a hilariously bad lineup. Wasn't Luger in the Wolfpac by that point anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:47 AM

    THAT ISN'T TRUE!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  115. Samoa Joe really needs face paint and to incorporate more dancing into his moveset now.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Whenever Poochie's not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Poochie"?

    ReplyDelete
  117. Buffalo HopscotchJune 2, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    Might need to be kidnapped by some ninjas first.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    "Look at him go, Maggle!"

    ReplyDelete
  119. I'd laugh if Vince FINALLY gets to dust off the "Mastodon" name he wanted Vader to use.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJune 2, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    What do you mean?They're both blonde, it makes perfect sense!

    ReplyDelete
  121. I think it's *just* pre-Wolfpac. But it's a weird story. No Benoit or Mongo, who were already Horsemen.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Buffalo HopscotchJune 2, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    Polynesian Pete Peters! Aliteration like that would make Stan Lee jump up in excitement

    ReplyDelete
  123. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooJune 2, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    Athletic sex, duh.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Which I don't understand. I can even understand kiddies being into Khali, Hornswoggle, and Santino's zany antics. I cannot understand why thousands of viewers will tune out if Hunter and Stephanie aren't on the show.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    But wouldn't that be kind of stupid considering they plastered his name on a t-shirt and it sold out?


    Oh...I see what you're saying now.

    ReplyDelete
  126. It's a cool name.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Imagine if Randy and Liz had gone that way......

    ReplyDelete
  128. The cocky frat douche that everyone wants to punch in the mouth, but still gets laid all the time.
    It makes perfect sense.

    ReplyDelete
  129. He had some good matches as a tag team with Sting, but he was nowhere near the level he was when Flair and Steamboat were getting ****1/2 matches out of him.

    ReplyDelete
  130. You know, one of the Usos is out with an injury...

    ReplyDelete
  131. It's a flying fat fuck, Maggle!

    ReplyDelete
  132. Replace Luger with benoit and I think you've got a more solid lineup. The crazy guy Greene, the muscle, the wrestler, and the Nature Boy.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Vince is going to miss all the finely-sculpted pecs and washboard abs REAL soon.

    ReplyDelete
  134. AverageJoeEverymanJune 2, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    The Mastadon Mubmission Machine

    ReplyDelete
  135. Bloody machete or BUST.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Any truth to that report that Joe injured Tyson Kidd in the dark match?

    ReplyDelete
  137. Twin magic with those two.

    ReplyDelete
  138. If you tell the people over and over and over again that you're the most important part of the company, that it's YOUR show, that things can't run without you there, they start to believe it.

    ReplyDelete
  139. One of my favorite things about Austin is how he straight shoots his opinion and doesn't give a shit if he makes Vince mad. I am mainly referring to calling Raw what it is, Wrestling for Morons.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I know Heyman and Austin teased it last night, but I sincerely doubt that Brock vs. Austin happens at Mania 31.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    Well, I saw the move, and if he didn't injure him, it sure LOOKED painful.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Joe sells t-shirts, he can hurt all the Tyson Kidd's he wants.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Jonathan MeisnerJune 2, 2015 at 8:54 AM

    Well, unless they have time machine, then yeah it won't happen.

    ReplyDelete
  144. If so, he's in line for a push. Sheamus and Ryback injure people left and right and they always get pretty strong pushes.

    ReplyDelete
  145. He actually said that?

    ReplyDelete
  146. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 8:54 AM

    Never ever ever. Like, ever.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Owens backs down and ducks fights all the time which could be a fun dynamic. It would be a special kind of awesome if he hid behind Steph to get out of a fight.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Oh yeah. Fucking with Vince is a sport for these two.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Austin/Punk. Nailed on. Anyone who disagrees is an idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 8:56 AM

    "Joe, go out there and take Kidd out."


    "Thanks, I'll have a great match."


    "No, literally take him out. Hurt him. Break a bone or something."


    "Uh, ok, if that's what you want me to do Cesaro..."

    ReplyDelete
  151. Yep.

    http://www.inquisitr.com/2133459/wwe-news-stone-cold-steve-austin-criticizes-monday-night-raw-says-its-wrestling-for-morons/

    ReplyDelete
  152. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:56 AM

    I love both of those guys, but that should've happened 12 years ago.


    It would be like Sting v. HHH, a whole lot of smoke and mirrors.

    ReplyDelete
  153. If Austin does have a match at Mania, I was thinking Jericho would be an ideal opponent in that they know each other well, Jericho can go heel easy, he is a safe worker, Austin can win easily and not affect anyone young and they can start and push it on their podcasts.


    Not saying it would be a big money draw, but if Austin just wanted one more match and not have it be a big risk, it checks the boxes.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Yes.. but it's strategic, not chicken shittery.

    ReplyDelete
  155. With time travel maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Jonathan MeisnerJune 2, 2015 at 8:57 AM

    Yeah, I can't see Austin taking a dozen german suplexes from Brock like Reigns did.

    ReplyDelete
  157. I think the world is more than ready for a new Mantaur.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Little of column A, little of column B. Whatever makes people boo him harder.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:57 AM

    They aren't going to pull Austin out of retirement to face Chris "Jobs to Fandango at Wrestlemania" Jericho.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Even then Austin was seriously banged up. By the time Brock came in his prime was just passed.

    ReplyDelete
  161. It did, but it's not like Joe has a rep of injuring people, so shame it happened (if it did) at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 2, 2015 at 8:58 AM

    True enough

    ReplyDelete
  163. Bingo. He gets the other guy all pissed off, then backs off, which makes the other guy even more pissed off. It's super douchey and it works perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  164. This. Owens is the guy that doesn't have to take shortcuts and does anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Koven Owens needs to grow a sweet pair of Harley Race sideburns:


    http://s1075.photobucket.com/user/ryanonrasslin2/media/harleyrace.jpg.html

    ReplyDelete
  166. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 8:59 AM

    No one else thought that the last two minutes or so of the Heyman-Austin podcast were just kind of awkward?

    ReplyDelete
  167. And when you make it seem like unimportant things happen when you're not there, it only exacerbates the point.

    ReplyDelete
  168. There's nothing worse than having to sneeze when you have a mouth full of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  169. I couldn't see it happening. Brock wrestles such a high-impact and violent style. Can't see Austin absorbing the impact well after so long away from the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  170. It was the best part.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Jonathan MeisnerJune 2, 2015 at 9:00 AM

    Have to be as badass as Harley to grow those. I like KO, but not sure if he's Harley levels of badass.

    ReplyDelete
  172. My point is if Austin came to them and said he wanted one more match, but wasn't physically up for a match with Brock, Jericho is a safe option. Better than Austin waxing a young guy for a pop.


    Obviously not a money match (like I said) but if Austin says "I want to do this" they aren't saying no.

    ReplyDelete
  173. What I love is that he takes shortcuts within the system. So the things he does are technically by the book.

    Nerd time (call Shelton): Samoa Joe's Lawful Neutral. Owens is Lawful Evil.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 2, 2015 at 9:00 AM

    So, no, then...

    ReplyDelete
  175. Man, I tripped on the stairs a week or so back and threw a full cup of coffee right in my face. I thought I might lose my face. :( But it was just a bit sensitive for a few days.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Ouch. He's not wrong though.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Don't sneeze around Vince or he might kill you.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Probably Cena and Orton are better options, I'd imagine. Both are super safe would be high, high-profile matches we haven't seen.

    ReplyDelete
  179. 95-97 Raven was so great.

    And was this interview done for the video? It looks like the same background for a previous interview.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Me neither. And if Owens is in the can with the belt, just don't show that on the NXT's going forward. It's not like they can't edit it.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Stranger In The AlpsJune 2, 2015 at 9:02 AM

    Sound bite/video clip to be replayed ad nauseum over the next 10 months as a setup for WM 32.

    ReplyDelete
  182. I think a young guy would benefit more than a vet. Being the guy that worked Austin's first match in 12 years would be a bigger rub than facing Taker, HHH, or even Brock.

    ReplyDelete
  183. What were they talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  184. Corned Biff HashJune 2, 2015 at 9:02 AM

    I was too busy marking out over the possibility of Austin-Brock, though I did find it funny that Heyman was either scared shitless by the promo, or the best actor in the WWE today.

    ReplyDelete
  185. He flipped the switch to Stone Cold in a flash. It was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Even if they lost like Wyatt last year?

    ReplyDelete
  187. Is it true Nash slapped Joe in TNA after Joe ripped into Hall on PPV?

    ReplyDelete
  188. Over/under Nick Young and Iggy Australia's wedding length?


    9 months.

    ReplyDelete
  189. If you did the match right and made it a crazy, classic Austin brawl, I could see it helping a guy even in defeat.

    ReplyDelete
  190. Probably the most awesome worked/shoot ever.

    ReplyDelete
  191. Ambrose would be my choice in that scenario.

    ReplyDelete