Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The SmarK RAW Rant–08.27.12

The SmarK RAW Rant – 08.27.12

Live from Milwaukee, WI, or “Green Bay” as R-Truth likes to call it.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Jerry Lawler heads into the ring to start, talking about his apology to CM Punk and subsequent attack by Punk. Now this week, he wants the apology. Punk comes out and he won’t apologize, and in fact the whole thing is Lawler’s fault because he was showing disrespect. And apparently all you have to do to get into the Hall of Fame is beat “a bunch of nobodies from Memphis” and get into a slap-fight with Andy Kaufman. OH TAG. Oh, and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. DOUBLE OH TAG. Lawler came here for an apology, not a fight, but Punk doesn’t want one because he’s the best in the world and would destroy the King. So King can either be embarrassed by the gigantic beatdown he’s going to get, or he’ll be embarrassed because he’s a coward who won’t fight. Now THIS is the kind of old-school awesome man-to-man promo I’ve been wanting to see again.

Jack Swagger v. Ryback

Ryback now has a crappy nu-metal version of his theme, so he must be for real. Ryback pounds on Swagger, but misses a charge and Swagger hits him with a slam and Swagger bomb. Ryback gets his knees up, but Swagger goes for the ankle, and Ryback easily escapes. Crowd chants for Goldberg while Ryback comes back and finishes poor Swagger with his lariat and samoan drop at 2:10. Perhaps they should consider throwing a couple of million at Goldberg so they can have him put Ryback over and nip this chant in the bud once and for all. Swagger has the dreaded losing streak gimmick, and that never ends well. ½*

Layla v. Natalya

Does it bother anyone else that Layla’s music has been changed to a song about how she’s “insatiable” and needs lots of men? Vickie comes out with an important announcement, but the ref ignores her and starts the match anyway. Nattie takes her down and they trade armdrags before Layla rolls her up for two. Bodypress gets two. Layla stops to dance for some reason and Nat bails, then blocks a baseball slide that Layla botches to take over. Back in, Layla escapes the Sharpshooter and rolls her up for two. High kick gets the pin at 2:42. * This result is so important that the women immediately disappear so that Vickie can cut her promo. The upshot is that AJ is abusing her power and Vickie should be GM again. This brings out AJ for an adorable attack.

Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan attends anger management class, but a kid in a goat mask sets him off.

Meanwhile, Jerry Lawler announces that he will in fact face CM Punk tonight. Well, duh.

John Cena v. The Miz

Of course this is non-title, because why would a main eventer care about the Intercontinental title? That would just be WACKY. Cena works a headlock for a while and we take a break, returning with Josh Matthews on commentary now to replace Lawler. Cena bulldogs Miz for two, and the ref gives us a nice Tommy Young moment by sliding out of the ring to count the fall. Miz comes back with the corner clothesline and flying axehandle for two, and we hit the chinlock. Miz with the neckbreaker for two. Low kick gets two. Another gets two. Another try, but Cena catches him with the STF, and Miz quickly makes the ropes. DDT gets two. The announcers talk incessantly about HHH during the match, ignoring the match. Miz counters the FU into another neckbreaker for two. Miz misses a charge and Cena makes the comeback and finishes with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM at 10:45. Why do we even have an Intercontinental title at this point? The champion always loses and no one cares about it. Match was fine time-filler, at least. **1/2

Your Twitter poll: What type of match is the main event going to be? Tables, cage or no-DQ. Gee, I wonder what people will choose?

Meanwhile, Kane shows up for the anger management session.

Heath Slater v. Santino Marella

Santino takes Slater down and schools him, so Slater wants a dance off. Slater uses the opportunity to clobber Santino to take over and the crowd immediately turns on the match. You go, Milwaukee. Cole harps on Slater’s losing streak, so you’ll note we now have two different heels on a losing streak gimmick. Santino comes back and preps the Cobra, but Aksana comes out and distracts the sock, and yet Slater is such a loser that he jobs to it anyway at 3:15. This was all incredibly awful. DUD They had a really fun thing going with the “Slater as Reverse Legend Killer” gimmick, and they just flushed it for no reason and turned him into another comedy jobber in a promotion already overstocked with them.

Brodus Clay & Sin Cara v. Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes

This has trainwreck written all over it. We’re joined in progress after a break, with Cody getting two on Cara. Sandow drops an elbow for two, but Cara gets the hot tag to Brodus. Powerslam gets two on Rhodes. Sin Cara gets rid of Sandow, and Rhodes runs into the headbutt and Brodus finishes with the splash at 2:20. I honestly don’t even remember the last time Cody won a match. This was fine for the 2 minutes it ran. *

Meanwhile, more hilarity ensues at the anger management class. Actually I take back my sarcasm because Kane calmly explaining his ridiculous backstory is pretty hilarious (“…and then I tombstoned the minister. And for some reason I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.”) If they end up with Kane and Bryan as a demented tag team out of this…well that would be kind of awesome, actually.

R-Truth v. Daniel Bryan

Hey, maybe they will! Bryan struggles to control his anger, but the fans keep egging him on. Bryan stops to fist-bump Little Jimmy, and then attacks Truth, but misses a charge and gets clotheslined. Truth with a forearm for two as the announcers have a laughable conversation with Kofi about all the tag teams gunning for the belts. Yes, all two of them. Truth stops to clarify to the crowd that he knows they’re in Milwaukee this time, and Bryan gets goaded into yelling at the fans and gets counted out at 3:00. Nothing match. Oh, and it’s a THIRD heel in a losing streak gimmick tonight. ½*

COOHHH joins us after ENDLESS video packages and verbal blowjobs dedicated to him tonight. Aw, it’s like 2002 all over again. He’s got another boo-boo on his arm, hopefully much less complex than the last one, and the world wants to know if his time IN THIS BUSINESS is done. He notes that time is the one thing you can’t fight. Oh please, time jobbed to HHH at a house show in 2003 after two Pedigrees. But now he’s questioning himself, and whether he can come back and kick Brock’s ass. Um, didn’t Brock quit last week anyway? It was on Tout! You can’t take that shit back! But it doesn’t matter, because HHH has decided to retire. Well, that’s a shame. The crowd buys into this “retirement”, apparently having never watched wrestling more than once in their lives. Did we really need to dedicate every other segment for two hours to HHH’s career? Can we just skip to the entire roster coming out to suck HHH’s dick in succession and spare us the annoyance of sitting through his 20 minute “retirement” speech?

Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio v. Randy Orton & Sheamus

Orton hits Ziggler with a slingshot suplex and powerslam, but Dolph bails to escape and we take a break. Back with Del Rio beating on Orton, and Ziggler dropping an elbow for two. The heels work him over with armbars, but Orton dumps ADR and makes the hot tag to Sheamus. He runs wild on Ziggler and hits the backbreaker for two, but Del Rio saves. Ziggler gets the case, but (say it with me), the Brogue Kick finishes Ziggler at 7:47. Another day, another Ziggler job. **

Meanwhile, Lawler doesn’t want help from John Cena tonight.

Zack Ryder v. David Otunga

Wow, this is what we’ve come to in the third hour? Otunga clotheslines him for two with Kane on commentary, which chases away Josh and leaves Cole standing a few feet away. Otunga with a suplex for two. Zack makes the comeback, but goes up and gets tripped up by Otunga. Roughrider finishes at 2:24, however. Oh man, Otunga just lost to Zack Ryder…that’s like the lowest form of jobber you can be. ½* Kane spares Ryder this time and chokeslams Otunga instead.

Steel cage match: CM Punk v. Jerry Lawler

Punk offers Lawler the first shot in a nod to the Kaufman match, so Lawler decks him. Punk immediately backs off like a weasel heel, because FUCK YOU if you don’t want to boo CM Punk, the writers say. Punk quickly takes over with an endless chinlock, then beats him down and adds the low dropkick. Punk goes for a neckbreaker, but King shoves him off and makes the comeback and runs him into the cage a few times, and Punk actually BLEEDS. Punk shrugs off the comeback regardless of the blood, and hits him with a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to finish at 7:32. Man, I was pretty interested to see this match three hours ago, but by the time we got here I had lost that interest, and then the match fucking sucked too. ½* OK, so Punk’s a whiny heel who beat up Jerry Lawler, so please boo him now so that they don’t have to progress to actually having him kill puppies in the ring in order to get heel heat.

The Pulse

OK, THAT was the worst show of the three hour era, with one intriguing segment at the beginning and then a SHITLOAD of filler and meaningless matches. Like really, TWO different tag matches where it’s just the current programs mashed together? And THREE losing streak gimmicks on the same show? Four if you count Santino’s stupid fucking sock, I suppose. And it’s only gonna get worse. Although Kane at anger management class was pretty awesome, so there’s that.

This makes me take back whatever bad things I said about Impact last Thursday.

209 comments:

  1.  Worst part of the show? Triple H spent 20 minutes masturbating on-camera and we didn't even get the benefit of seeing Steph get a facial.  

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  2. Watching Raw is like getting a colonic. To get the temporary benefits, you have to insert getting railroaded from behind, then afterwards your insides have liquified into nature's most horrendous biological weapon.

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  3. The hhh segment was embarrassing.

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  4. We've gotta get to the bottom of HHH's broken arm. At Summerslam, it appeared that Lesnar broke the right arm, yet on RAW, HHH is wearing the cast on the left. 

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  5.  I'm not sure I'd want to see that,,,

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  6. The show sucked, but I think you're being a bit unfair in calling it a losing streak gimmick for Bryan. Didn't he just beat Kane clean at the PPV two weeks ago? And honestly, getting counted out due to yelling at fans just is not the same as, say, Swagger, who is straight up losing every match. Rhodes might be, I don't watch Smackdown and he's barely ever on Raw, but I don't see Bryan as having a losing streak thing right now. Did they claim he did or something?

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  7. Why so you claim D-Bry on a "losing streak"?  Didn't he just pin Kane at Summerslam?

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  8. But I'm definitely down.

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  9. Just finished watching... WOW. Soooo glad I quit watching live. It's like WWE are trying to top themselves each week on how bad they can make the show. In saying that, the Kane history segment was easily the funniest thing they've done for months. I'm actually almost perversely enjoying these shows now, a bit like Scott Steiner/HHH matches in 2003, I just want to see how bad it really can get! 

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  10. "OK, so Punk’s a whiny heel who beat up Jerry Lawler, so please boo him now so that they don’t have to progress to actually having him kill puppies in the ring in order to get heel heat."

    The show was pretty bad overall, but I don't get this complaint. How is a heel doing dastardly things to get heat a bad thing?

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  11.  The announcers talk incessantly about HHH during the match, ignoring the match.
    1. HHH needs to be louder and have access to a time machine.

    2. When HHH is not on screen, everyone else should be asking, "Where's HHH?"

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  12. It's not the same type, but the announcers are constantly pushing how his anger problems are fucking up his career.  Totally different ballgame than, say, Swagger not having won a match in six months or Cody losing every match since Wrestlemania or whatever, but it's hard to get any of this over when EVERYONE on the heel side seems to be portrayed as ineffective weasels who can only win on a fluke.

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  13. WWE's biggest problem right now is the total lack of a mid-card. In fact, it might be the worst I've seen in any promotion. I would like to think it will get better once Hero, Rollins, and Ambrose arrive. But that won't happen unless they have some ridiculous story ready for them and even if by some miracle it isn't terrible, they will get 50/50 booked to death.

    3 hour Nitros were terrible and right now they are blowing 3 hour Raws out of the water. At least they treated their top guys like stars and had an entertaining mid-card to keep you going through the nWo bullshit.

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  14. CM Punk looked pretty dominant tonight!

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  15. My theory is that he broke the other arm tapping out too hard.

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  16. he beat an old, retired announcer. 

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  17. Because people are still cheering him.  People boo Cena and yet they push him down our throats as Superman, and Punk gets cheers but they have him use every cheap heel heat method they can think of to force people to boo him.  It's veering wildly away from the original point of the angle where the audience is supposed to wonder how to react to Punk's respect stuff.  Now they're just straight up having him beat on the senior citizen and cower from Cena.  

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  18. What did Ryback say during the company hunting trip?

    FEED! ME! BOAR!

    As always, my lameass joke was better than 90% of the show.

    HOWEVER....Only Daniel Bryan and Kane could take something so ridiculous and make it the highlight of a 3-hour show. God bless D-Bry, he sells the shit out of whatever he's given to do, and Kane doing a Dr. Evil-style recap of his backstory was pretty fucking hilarious. Seriously, someone make Daniel Bryan a WWE MVP plaque. 

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  19. Because of the bullshit where the company refuses to do what fans want (Cena to go evil) and as such, they are forcing Punk AGAIN to be the villain because fuck you fans for not treating Cena as the second coming of the Lord and Savior.

    No one gives a shit about Cena as a good guy anymore and desperately want Punk to be the top good guy. So the company is forcing Punk to do increasingly evil things to force fans to cheer for Cena, when the opposite is true and we want to cheer Punk beating the shit out of Cena, after Cena FINALLY turns into the cowardly little shit corporate heel we've been wanting him to become ever since the summer of Punk last year,....

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  20. 3 days until Impact =)

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  21. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfL7STmWZ1c

    Sums up the way that the WWE is committing suicide slowly but surely with their shoving Saint Cena down our throats......

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  22. I'll give you that on Bryan. And I could not agree with you more on the rest. Chickenshit heels are my least favorite type to watch...you wonder why I'm getting frustrated? They're all chickenshits in this company, even the ones who were winning legit as recently as a month and a half ago. Cannot stand it. It's worse when you have Cena as their main opposition...half the people boo him, but his opponents are all pussies who aren't in his league. Why do I want to pay money to watch that?

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  23. "And apparently all you have to do to get into the Hall of Fame is beat “a bunch of nobodies from Memphis” and get into a slap-fight with Andy Kaufman. OH TAG. Oh, and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. DOUBLE OH TAG."

    Can't say I really disagree with any of this. And didn't we get sick of Lawler trying to work matches with guys half his age and failing miserably back in the 90's? I understand when they do it in Memphis, because the heat he gets there is nuts (though the match itself still sucks), but why do it in Wisconsin? Does Lawler have it in his contract that he gets these quick in-ring appearances or something?

    "Of course this is non-title, because why would a main eventer care about the Intercontinental title?"

    They should have gave Cena the title here. Not only would it have made the IC title look like something people are supposed to care about, but it would have had the added benefit of The Miz not having a title.

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  24. Is there something so wrong with Punk being a babyface with a heel edge who gets cheers and Cena being a heel with a babyface attitude which is what the fans seem to want? Can we not have shades of gray at all? Sheeze.

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  25. The Miz match was exactly my problem with Cena. Not that he won, that's fine. But Miz actually gets a good amount of offense...until suddenly he misses a charge and the selling is OVER. 5 moves of doom, grinning for the camera as he AAs Miz, pop up, flex and grin and sell nothing at all. He fought the IC Champ and a former world champ, and sold it like he just beat Stan Stansky in a 30 second squash. Everyone looks like a jobber at the end of a Cena match. There is absolutely no subtlety to anything Cena does. No selling of an injury sustained during the match. No leaning on the ropes as if he's tired. Nothing. Check out a Cena countout spot...no subtlety there either. He's a total corpse for 9 seconds, pops up, sprints to the ring, slides in, then is a total corpse again. It's cartoonish and stupid looking...where's the struggle? Ugh.

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  26.  It started out ok. He said he was going to "get to the point" but then proceeded to do anything but.

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  27. Name his last RAW Victory

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  28. We are lucky if we even get shades of grey with Punk, which they are now abandoning since fans still won't boo Punk/cheer Cena. The WWE outright REFUSES to budge on the Cena issue, not even fucking bothering to notice that Cena is written like a complete cunt 99% of the time but treating him as Saint Cena, the source of purity and light and sunshine with his make-a-wish visits.   

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  29. I definitely buy that theory, after all one of his best friends is a guy who tore his quad just from WALKING! Not to mention said guy suddenly developed a heart condition when he found out he had to lose to Jeff Jarrett in 2005. Strange injuries are nothing new for the Kliq.

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  30. The most effectibve chickenshit heel was Hogan during the NWO.......he didn't win cleanly, but he won......and the payoff even though it took forever was being cleanly pinned in the center of the ring by Goldberg in what should have made Goldberg the GUY for years to come. Even Piper was good in the 80's because he played the loudmouth you were salivating to get his comeuppance.......but booking your braggert to actually lose all the time just makes him look like a clown

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  31. Maybe he has the Austin knee injury issue where he hurts his right knee, but wore the brace on his left, obviously to fool his opponents

    Or no one paid any attention

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  32. I don't know if it's been pointed out by anyone else, but I've been seeing the same guy front row at various Raws and they always focus on him in some way. He's the guy who was shouting YES in D-Bry's face, and this is (I think) the 4th time I've seen him since the Miami Raw where they immediatly cut to him marking out after Brock finished his dance at the top of the ramp. I'm assuming he's a plant cause he was caught looking at the camera (waiting for his cue I guess) right before the Brock moment.

    Or maybe it's been a different guy each time and I'm just crazy.

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  33. I don't think he is a plant, just a super fan. According to Punk, the Brock markout was a big hit backstage so they probably threw him a bone tonight with the Bryan thing.

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  34. I'm usually not a fan of meta humor in any form of entertainment, but Kane's deadpan recollection of his ridiculous life story made me laugh.

    Kinda odd to see the match that main evented Wrestlemania a year and a half ago as an unpromoted time waster in the middle of Raw.

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  35. Okay, since then he's been jilted then embarrased by a drunk celebrity from a webcam, lost to Cena, lost to  R-Truth, constantly "bitchslapped" by a 20ish woman who's best skill is her ability to skip, and loses every match because he is yelling at people for saying yes. At this point, he's on track to take a Cobra in the opening match of RAW 1010 and then end up as the "Main Event" guy on saturday Slam.

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  36. But if you're marketing more to a young demographic, shades of grey is not the way to go. It worked in the 90's because the whole industry was alive and well, with everyone having something to watch for, but now, we're getting back to them trying to define Boohim/Cheer him and that's fine for the market they want, and if not, oh well, because what else do you have? ROH is all but dead, TNA is good, but still in the JCP/Early WCW territory of being a niche Southern promotion catering to those lucky enough to be at the theme park it's happening at. We have a growing amount of iPPV's from numerous companies, but they aren't even remotely close to being anything viable.

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  37. There's a "perfect face" for getting skeeted on? Anyway, I'd much rather see that than any part of Chyna's new porno.

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  38. The Title era is over, and Cena winning it would catapult it in "importance" above the belt worn by the guy who's supposed to be Number One. It's like when Undertaker won the Hardcore title.....it did nothing for the belt, because evryone knew he was above it, and did nothing for Taker but give him a belt. I think if the time has come for titles to be scrapped altogether for awhile, or just dropped down to one main belt, because I care as much about who has what gold as I do who will sign a giuy released from an NFL season during the preseason.

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  39. Not to defend Nash, but it's been well documenteted that his dad died early from a heart attack, and heart disease is a fear he has had for most of his adult life, and as someone who has lost someone to heart disease its a huge fear that it could be you.

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  40. Great point.  You practically stole my post.

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  41. Damn it Milwaukee.  I have been to the Bradley Centre many times, and I never saw them as that gullible.  All you have to do is start one monster "Bullshit" chant while HHH is practically pumping visine into his eyes at the end of his promo.  You could have made legend status.

    It almost makes me wonder if Vince had a plan had Milwaukee no-sold the whole thing.

    (sigh)

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  42. Never thought of it that way, that's too funny... Still, I'd rather see AJ get a shot to the face. She's both much better looking and has darker skin, on which the money shot will show up better.

    Reading this before I post it, I kind of make feel like a perv. If AJ is reading this,sorry. But I'm just speaking hypothetically, and men it as a compliment. If Steph is reading this, I just wanna say that you didn't need the implants and looked a hell of a lot better without them.

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  43. So, the fun REALLY begins when Punk pops the roof off in Boston, and the "Hometown Crowd" shits all over Cena at the PPV.....prompting Stephanie to run home and watch Twilight all over again so she can see where her master booking went wrong.    

    They will then throw another 5 million at Brock to work an extra day in October.

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  44. I don't think that's really a fair comparison, the Hardcore tile was always meant to be a joke. The IC title has a lot of history behind it, and Cena actually caring about winning it (he just had to say "and tonight I'm going to win the IC title") would go a long way to making it feel like a legit title again, rather that the comedy title it is now. I see your point of how it would make the secondary title look more important though, and I really like your idea about only having one main belt, as long as they use a decent looking Big Gold Belt as the physical belt itself.

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  45. That's why we in LA still rule. Nothing like shitting over HHH's emotional defeat with chants of YOU TAPPED OUT. I like HHH, but man, this self-serving stuff can stick it, brother (see also: last year's walkout angle). 

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  46. In the PG era, Santino doesn't want to nail Aksana, he only wants to finger bang her.

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  47. I bet Toronto wouldn't have put up with this shit.

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  48. Ok, so we can't have certain moves and language because of the children....but we can flaunt chicks with giant implant tits and also have chicks in hot pants dancing and booty-bumping each other. You know, FOR KIDS!

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  49.  It says alot about the ME back then and how not so main eventer The Miz really was.

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  50. Punk's trying, but this heel turn is just not going to work. I mean, the best heel turns are the ones where the villain believes he's right, but here, where Punk is claiming that he's been disrespected, the FANS are on his side. He can shave his head and beat up Lawler all he wants. It's not going to change the fact that when Lawler refuses to call Punk the best, A: a lot of fans don't agree with the refusal in the first place, and B: Lawler SHOULD be able to call the man the best. He's the champion. Therefore, he's the best.

    I mean, compare this to a situation like a Mick Foley turn, where while what he said made sense, the fans didn't really agree with it, so it could work. This will not.

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  51. Also, do the fans even LIKE Lawler all that much? I didn't hear much of a reaction to his entrance, and until Punk yelled "It's clobberin time!" I thought the WWE just made a new practice out of turning everyone's music up to drown out crowd reactions.

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  52. I can't watch anymore. It's just so terrible every time I turn to it.

    I really, REALLY question the Punk "heel" turn if this what they have for him. They're trying to reinvent the wheel for reasons I can't fathom. Pipebomb Punk got over last year - just let him do that again.

    The rest just sounds awful. More than a few people said Raw at 3 hours was going to look at lot like Nitro at 3 hours. Which is sort of true - Nitro had a LOT more starpower in 1998 than the WWE does in 2012.

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  53. Except that he defeated Kane handily on the second biggest PPV of the year.

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  54. This was my observation when he magically Cena'd up.

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  55. If Steph is reading this, I wanna ask you why you haven't hired Jesse Baker yet.

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  56. At least at the hospital they give you a heated blanket.

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  57. Why doesn't the referee just wear the gloves for the entire match?  Are they really expensive?

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  58. I'm not even sure what to think about this show anymore.

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  59. If HHH had a time machine, he'd be going back to 1939 and telling Lou Gehrig how to REALLY write a retirement speech.

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  60. At least when they allowed blading, Cena could get away with the crappy selling because he would just bleed all over the place so the fans bought it as him being hurt.  Now that he can't use blood as a selling crutch, his matches look so cartoony.  Everyone he faces gets a complete jobber treatment.

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  61. This is a small thing but you now hat opening montage of wrestlers that they do now? Hogan really should be a part of that. Just saying.

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  62. Anyone notice Ryback mouth "stupid" at Swagger after their match?  VINTAGE ORTON!!!

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  63.  You can't ever return to that black and white cheer who you're supposed to, boo who you're supposed to era of wrestling considering they spent the last 15 yrs blowing the lid off of kayfabe and still continue to do so.

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  64. Then, now, forever only applies if you're on good terms with the company apparently!

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  65. He was, but as soon as he went to TNA they replaced him with Ted DiBiase. In some small way, at least, Impact Wrestling is on WWE's radar.

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  66. Or Chicago next week.

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  67. I was really hoping that Punk was going to go old school Memphis on Lawler and piledrive him on the belt while staring down Cena and saying "Best in the World."

    That could have knocked Lawler out for a while and given him and us a vacation from each other.

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  68. I agree with you, but probably not for the same reason.
    In case it's a bit much to watch the clip for every one else, Danny Devito is giving a speech to a room full of stockholders about why they should give him control over the company, so he can begin selling off it's assets in a bid to wring the very last dollar of worth out of a business in a fading industry. What's missing is the "punchline".  The shareholders agree to kill the company to make a buck, to his secret dismay.  Before he can liquidate their assets, however, he receives a call from his love interest telling him that a Japanese automaker wants to contract the company to build airbags, thus saving the company.To me, it isn't the WWE is blindly stumbling into obsolescence. It's that the WWE is terrified of being obsolete.  Their reaction to this fear? Tread water, while they desperately hope they can break out from their own mold by reaching out into dozens of places they don't belong.It is this willingness to ignore their core strength, their history, that causes them to suffer.John Cena isn't on a pedestal being worshiped, "Behold our beloved Lord. He knows the way, forsake all others!".  John Cena is the manager desperately trying to keep a burger joint in the black until they finish their ill fated expansion into a theme park/university.Vince and his leadership team clearly do not understand what evolution means, because they seem to have misinterpreted the phrase "Evolve or Die".
    Tiger's don't evolve into spiders, even if that would solve all of their problems.  But as long as Vince and Co. look at wrestling as a dead industry to be gotten out of, we're going to be left with the status quo as they wait to "break out".

    Never mind that Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, Miz, Damien Sandow (to name a few) and a disproportionate number of guys in developmental are all RIGHT THERE waiting to make them money for years to come.

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  69. I agree... they cannot garner sympathy for Lawler when most of the crowd disagrees with him.

    It's going to be VERY interesting to see how Chicago treats Punk, and of they try to do anything really over the top to bury the city because I don't see Chicago favoring Cena under any circumstances.

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  70.  Careful...if Vince were to read this blog, he might get some ideas for JR...

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  71. Given the win-loss record of recent IC title holders, could this be irresistable force (SuperCena) versus immovable object (IC jobs on every Raw)?

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  72. I AM...THE COO
    AND I AM THAT DAMN GOOD
    #maineventingraw2000

    ReplyDelete
  73.  I wouldn't exactly call a fluke roll-up winning "handily".

    ReplyDelete
  74. I'm thinking they had to make all the quick cuts in Kane's monologue of his past, because he probably couldn't keep a straight face reciting all that in the deadpan monotone. When THAT is the highlight of the show..... not good. However, was I the only one thining, "Hey, maybe they'll pull a stunt and give Lawler the win, so that Punk's reign doesn't become the longest ever, and Lawler gets the title just so he can say he was a WWE champ as well. Then, next week, they set up a rematch, and Punk destroys Lawler, getting the belt back, and looking like an uber-heel". Ah, fantasy booking...

    ReplyDelete
  75. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 8:24 AM

    Can't wait for someone not in the Top 4 of the Bound for Glory Standings to not try to do anything to move up and have your announcers completely clueless as to what he should be trying to do.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I looked it up on Cagematch, and the last time Cody Rhodes won a match was on last week's Superstars, where he beat Justin Gabriel. If you don't count that since it's a website-only show, then his last win was on the July 13 Smackdown, where he teamed with Dolph Ziggler to beat Christian & Santino Marella. His last singles match win was on the July 3 "Great American Bash" Smackdown, where he beat Christian to qualify for Money in the Bank.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    I definitely hate how heels are booked in WWE, mostly because its only the heels I really enjoy. Cody Rhodes should not be a jobber. Is he getting punished for something?

    ReplyDelete
  78. so petty. he's HULK FUCKING HOGAN for christ sakes

    ReplyDelete
  79. Looking back at the old threads, I just realized why Triple H wants a rematch with Brock: he didn't make the latest edition of the PWI 500! It's obviously tearing him up inside, so he needs to get his win back, so he won't be lower on the totem pole than guys like "Perry von Viscious" and "Lumberjack Leroux"

    ReplyDelete
  80. I hate to say it (b/c ya know Bishoff is a douche) but Nitro was much better. They had the best luchadores plus Malenko, Guerrero, Benoit, Jericho, plus Raven doing hardcore matches on a weekly basis, plus the relics from the 80's. Truly something to offer everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Scott's reviews are the best part of Monday Night Raw.

    One more Raw until MNF starts. AJ's days as being a major on-screen character are numbered.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Yes. For being born, apparently.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I really feel bad for anyone who sat through the 3 hour RAW with the only good thing being Daniel Bryan and Kane in Anger Management. 

    ReplyDelete
  84. You're not crazy. I'm pretty sure I saw this exact same guy jawing with Bryan while he was walking to the ring at Summerslam.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Wait, this kid goes on raw tour? What kinda trusty custy is this kid?

    ReplyDelete
  86.  what?  I thought that Cena really was a decent wrestler?   For some reason I've been seeing people on the internet go out of their way to talk about how he's quite good in the ring for the last couple years, when as you point out, he's not.  He is the anti-Bret Hart.  He is the epitome of what a WWE wrestler is these days.  All character, all being able to do the moves, but no psychology, no sense of timing, and no perception of how to really work a match. 

    ReplyDelete
  87. Hey, it wasn't all bad. Cody Rhodes got pinned. Ziggler was made to look like a goof. CM Punk wasted his time with Jerry Lawler. Jack Swagger almost died. Triple H masturbated for 20 minutes. Everyone loves Santino's sock! This was a great Raw. 

    Also, this was an actual quote from 411mania's Raw Report:

    "Haven't watched in a while, but I did tonight. Thank you Hunter. I haven't always agreed with some things, and he's had some rough patches, but the guy has an unparalleled passion for the business and is one of the all time greats.When I think of Triple H I'll always think of the return in MSG, fighting through a torn quad, and his classic matches."

    ReplyDelete
  88.  How was that a fluke roll-up.  It's not like Kane was distracted or anything.  Bryan OUTWRESTLED him.

    And Del Rio made Orton tap clean on SmackDown, so there's one heel that's not weak.

    ReplyDelete
  89. The only interesting thing on this show was the blonde wearing the red shirt in the anger management meeting.

    Kane explaining his backstory had me laughing out loud.

    MNF can't get here quicker.

    ReplyDelete
  90.  Got to loooooooooove the business. (said in the tone of "got to love the Drake")

    ReplyDelete
  91.  Well, he did get over with a character he mostly created himself. That can't sit well with anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Kane in anger management was the best part of Raw.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Absolute crap

    ReplyDelete
  94. My 11 year old son appreciates it

    ReplyDelete
  95. As I was watching this show, my only thought was: what the FUCK has happened to the mid-card. Right now, unless you're in world title contention or feuding with an authority figure or something, you're relegated to the same 3 minute matches and comedy segments. When's the last time we saw a a heated mid-card feud get settled on pay-per-view without it being some random impromptu match because WWE's writers are too stupid to realize they didn't have enough matches to fill time on the show? Nowadays, it's Jobber A pisses of Jobber B, and they settle it in a 5 minute match on Raw 2 weeks later. If they're lucky, they'll get a battle royal or multi-man match on pay-per-view.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Seriously man, we need to let it be known what BULLSHIT this product is right now. I agree with one of the posts below, that the Milwaukee fans should have wrecked HHH's self-serving wankathon with boos and chants cos seriously if they get that in every show every time HHH drones on about something he could sum up in one sentence maybe it would force them to switch this crap up for once

    FUCK!

    I'm having a bad day anyway, im just extra pissed off having just skimmed through this shit fucking show

    ReplyDelete
  97. Any good will established by the opening segment was tempered by Lawler's dramatic pause and then delivery of a forceful, full of conviction "I'll think about it."

    That Kane backstory segment can't be given enough props.

    I was gonna say "Remember when Kane used to be fun, with his Kanenites?" but he's doing the Tomko "straight man in a wacky world" thing to perfection.  He actually always have.  Glen Jacobs never gets enough credit for selling for rocking the Kane gimmick.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Yeah, when Otunga lost to Ryder, I thought, "Dude just lost to someone who only graciously could be called a JTTS.  Ergo, Otunga is officially a jobber."

    ReplyDelete
  99. Nothing gets the wrestling audience fired up like pondering the acceptance of a challenge.

    Agree with Kane. He's not as insufferable to me as the Big Show as he jobs a lot and gives competitive matches (even though he's a passable worker now).

    ReplyDelete
  100. http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/252653/Reason-Why-Did-Triple-H-Cut-The-Big-Promo-on-Raw-Last-Night.htm

    ReplyDelete
  101. And there's barely any elevation of young wrestlers from lower card to the terrible midcard. What the hell happened to Tyson Kidd's push?!

    ReplyDelete
  102. Oh please. What STORIES did Hulk Hogan ever tell?

    ReplyDelete
  103.  Hey now - he hasn't used every cheap heel heat method.  He hasn't insulted any local sports teams yet!

    ReplyDelete
  104. He likes the STORIES.

    ReplyDelete
  105. What does Ryback say when he goes camping?

    FEED! ME! S'MORES!

    ReplyDelete
  106. I don't watch this show anymore. I didn't watch three-hour Nitros, either.

    ReplyDelete
  107. "Does it bother anyone else that Layla’s music has been changed to a song about how she’s “insatiable” and needs lots of men?"
    Lloyd Christmas mode: So you're saying there's a chance!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  108. So apparently Cole was supposed to make a big deal of Punk's Rock Bottom last night, and got in trouble for completely ignoring it.

    Also, apparently HHH gave the retirement speech b/c WWE felt that the LA crowd didn't take his loss seriously enough.  Way to go, LA... you only have yourselves to blame!

    ReplyDelete
  109. At this point, I'm expecting Vince to have a breakdown after another negative crowd reaction to Cena where he marches out to the ring in the middle of the show and shoots on the crowd about how he knows what they like better than they do and they need to cheer Cena because he said so. 

    It seems like the only inevitable ending to the way WWE is dodging the issue of Cena being booed.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Boring show.  I watched True Blood's season finale along with this show and barely missed anything.

    I don't hate WWE with a passion, but it's boring as hell right now.  I think they need to rebuild themselves, and everybody agrees.  But they don't seem to be doing that with all the heels jobbing and looking terribly weak.  I just don't get that.  I'm not even asking for a monster heel like  Big Show and Mark Henry.  I'm just asking for a competent heel like what Del Rio should be.  Except he's outsmarted most of the time.  When he ambushed Shamus on SD (that I didn't see) I thought, cool, ADR can get something going.  Nope.

    Hopefully Sandow can evolve to that point.  Right now, I'm kind of bored by him.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I'd throw that HHH-related inside info in with the "HHH hates Mick Foley" and "Brock threw a fit following Extreme Rules" pile.

    Much like the name Joe Mayo, it sounds made up.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Reason # 8,257,543 why la is better than Milwaukee.

    ReplyDelete
  113. What does Ryback say at the Bunny Ranch

    FEED!  ME!  WHORES!

    ReplyDelete
  114. The fans were still pretty dead for huntor. It must eat at him thats the best he can get.

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  115. yeah this guy is really beginning to annoy me.  Ive seen him it seems every week and he always has that same type of Affliction or Tapout shirt on too, just to enhance the douche image.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Im just glad Lil Naitch didnt have to fight with his gloves for half the match this time like he did last time there was blood.

    ReplyDelete
  117. It would have been funny if last night's crowd shit on it too. Then he tries it again next and it falls flat again. And so on and so on...

    ReplyDelete
  118. Wrestling Booking 101:

    Punk: fight me or expose yourself as a coward.

    Lawler [lays out Punk with a crushing right]: You're on! 

    fin.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Mike mears and Michael southern please come out and defend that hhh segment. Do you realize its just an angle and he's beating brock at survivor series? Do you get why EVERYONE hates him now...

    But in all seriousness its good to see hhh finally get a moment to put him self over after he's given so much back over the last 14 years.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Mid west rubes are the perfect audience to roll this kind of shit out for but I thought the crowd was pretty dead for huntor even still, they just didn't activity shit on it.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Tbf hogan and warrior used to shake it off and beat the heel to.so I see it as more of a booking thing. Otherwise cena is very close to elite as far as workrate

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  122. The chickenshit heel.has its place but do they need to book everyone that way?

    ReplyDelete
  123. exodus316 exodus316August 28, 2012 at 10:17 AM

    Don't forget "Booker T is on commentary because none of the boys like Regal" and "IT'S ALL JON JONES FAULT!"

    ReplyDelete
  124. exodus316 exodus316August 28, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    DVR'd but didn't watch.  Doesn't sound like I missed much.

    ReplyDelete
  125. exodus316 exodus316August 28, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    "Can we just skip to the entire roster coming out to suck HHH’s dick in succession..."

    With the exception of the Divas this would be legitimately gay.

    ReplyDelete
  126. what a awful show,they shut cut down to 2 hours back again,and fire these and fire the guys in the lower card like Slater,Brodus,Otunga and fire sin cara he's not gonna get over in the crowd.

    ReplyDelete
  127. You call that a "dead" crowd?

    From my memory they chanted "Thank you Huntor", "you can do it", and "NO" (in response to HHH's question of whether he should quit). There may have been others (it was a long segment). They also reacted to all his cues (booing and cheering when being prompted).

    If that's a reaction that could eat away at a guy then Jericho must've committed suicide after last week's farewell.

    ReplyDelete
  128.  if ass kissing wasn't enough

    ReplyDelete
  129. They do not need to fire any talent.  That's absolutely the wrong way to go.  They need to push talent, any talent, for a while and try and figure out what people respond to.  People responded to Slater and Otunga (back when he was with Johnny).  I was worried that Otunga would lose momentum when he disappeared for a while, and he has.

    They need to stop torpedoing their talent, like when Zack Ryder was getting a reaction.  I hate Santino, but he's getting a reaction.  I hate Ryback, but he's finally getting a reaction from the crowd.  WWE just needs to keep pushing the young guys and don't stop and drop them on whim.

    ReplyDelete
  130. You know the show was shit when the best rated match by Scott was Miz vs Cena.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Punk used the uranage into anaconda vice (at the time just a standard arm triangle) as his finisher back in WWECW so I didn't notice if it was supposed to be some kind of calling out of the rock. 

    ReplyDelete
  132. You should see children's shows in Brazil!  Lots of pasties with tassels.

    ReplyDelete
  133. wtf?  He laid down for Ryback.  Just sad.  Cut the jobber a break.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Yes.  The problem is that it doesn't work that way.  You aren't a face or a heel based on fan response.  You're a face or a heel based on your character and its motivations. 

    -Babyfaces are purity and light
    -Heels are evil, smarmy, and easily offended/hurt to where they have to take it out on someone
    -Babyface suffers injustice, must right the scales of justice, even if that means doing heelish things.

    That's how it works, and no amount of tinkering with that formula by Russo or during the Attitude Era is gonna change that.

    ReplyDelete
  135. As someone who's been at every major WWE event at TD Garden since Wrestlemania 14, don't think for one second that Cena will get any kind of "hometown" pop. The small town he's from is close to the New Hampshire border (not "Boston) and he rarely gets anything but the standard smark boos/kid cheers from the Garden crowds.

    ReplyDelete
  136. He's always been a decent wrestler.  You don't see too many Kane singles matches that are worse than Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.  He's also very versatile.

    Bryan's reaction to the group asking Kane to tell his story was priceless.  He was like "oh, no here we go..."

    ReplyDelete
  137.  Exactly it worked for Honky Tonk Man, but can you imagine someone like Bundy or Rude or heel Undertaker playing chickenshit? It just doesn't work. The thing is everyone needs a specific gimmick, and no one really has one anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  138.  i know they need to push these guys.Ryder was extremely over when he was on the run for us title and when he won he got a great pop,but instead of making him a credible champion they depush him maid him a idiot in the kane-cena feud,they are afraid to create new star,it's not Punk's how he is right now wwe drop the ball turning him into a babyface,as much I like cena it's because of him (unintentionaly) they are afraid to creat a new star,afraid that maybe he'll beat him in the audience.

    ReplyDelete
  139.  That's next week to make sure he gets booed in Chi-Town.

    ReplyDelete
  140.  What does Ryback say at the Apple Orchard?

    FEED! ME! CORES!!!

    I just wanted to fit in. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  141. Compared to the reactions that Shawn and even Edge got for their retirements, this was a dead crowd.  HHH is supposed to be the biggest star IN THIS BUSINESS hanging it up and the crowd was mostly playing along, but not to the degree that you'd get from a Hulk Hogan or someone else on that level.  

    ReplyDelete
  142. Anybody else notice Swagger almost landing on his neck last night after Ryback flubbed a back body drop.  Not sure if it was all Ryback, but Swagger was unable to flip fully and wound up taking a nasty spill. 

    ReplyDelete
  143. Well, the announcers were talking about the exciting team of Kidd and Gabriel during the R-Truth match, and that's a bigger push than he's gotten since the Hart Dynasty days.  Plus he beat Tensai in that fluke match weeks ago which everyone has now totally forgotten about and didn't go anywhere.  So there's that.

    ReplyDelete
  144. And now for Brazil's number one rated children's show, Teleboobies!

    ReplyDelete
  145. Oh, I know that and coming out of MITB, Kidd was supposed to get some kind of push. But I don't think he's been on RAW or Smackdown since that PPV.

    ReplyDelete
  146. You guys say two weeks until MNF but dammit, only ONE week until a crappy ACC football game that's a placeholder for MNF!

    ReplyDelete
  147. Milwaukee should've hated Hunter. It was here about 10 years ago to the week that Bischoff gave Hunter his vanity belt without so much as a match. And I'm glad I didn't try to get comps for this show; sounds like I still would've wanted a refund.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Yeah, it's pretty hard to imagine HHH would do something like that. Dude is way too humble.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    Well the crowd was playing along but knew it was bullshit unlike Edge and Shawn's retirements. Plus, Triple H never explicitly retired.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Right. Their audience can be stupid, but believing HHH is walking away is a bridge too far. 

    Well, except for the guy who thanked Hunter on 411. 

    ReplyDelete
  151. I don't really like to fantasy book but seeing how stale the main event scene is, I figured I'd give it a shot.

    One guy I really enjoy and think should get a chance at the main event is Kofi Kingston. I say take him out of that tag team with Truth (who should never have become babyface again, but that's another issue) and have him be connected with a babyface Punk again (let's face it...he's not going to remain a heel for long if he can't beat up The Rock every week and Kofi and Punk were tag champs a few years back, I think). Have Kofi and Punk play up their real-life friendship and tag up against two top heels. At the end of the match, Kofi nails his big kick on Punk on purpose and stands above him like Shawn did over Hogan. End RAW.

    The next week, Kofi cuts a serious promo (which he can do, as evidenced by the Orton program before that all went to shit) and talk about being overlooked and ignored despite being a top and reliable performer (a "good citizen" as JR would say) night in and night out (which he is...when was Kofi ever busted for Wellness or even injured?). But now it's his time to make a statement and he wants a shot at Punk's title. Have them do a Bret-Owen esque feud over the WWE championship over three PPVs with Kofi giving Punk all he can handle. I'm not sure if they should do a title change...but it could definitely help Kofi get some edge and heat like Owen Hart got as opposed to the Tito Santana babyface role they got him in now.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Agreed. If we're going to play this specific game (comparing retirement speeches and the fan reaction), then I'm going to wait for HHH's *actual* retirement.

    I still think Jericho's exit last week is a better comparable. I find it laughable that so many people said the LA crowd shit on HHH's moment and people just ignored what happened to Jericho. *That* was shitting on a guy's moment.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Kofi is completely overrated. That guy can't sell anything as serious, all he does is smile. He's perfect where he is, in the mid card.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    Well with Jericho I think it was the same thing, no one buys that it was really the last time we will see him.

    ReplyDelete
  155. How do you know he can't sell anything as serious? He's never been given the opportunity to do it!

    He had one chance with Randy Orton and it was received well until Orton decided to be a brat about it. Kofi deserves another chance to show what he can do and if fucks that up, I'll agree with you that he should remain a mid-carder.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Why did Ryback get a new travel partner?


    THAT! GUY! SNORES!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  157. Christopher HirschAugust 28, 2012 at 11:52 AM

    I think it being received well is revisionist history. That infamous match with Orton, the crowd was completely dead for him.

    Not everyone is destined to be a main eventer. Some people have to be the midcard and work well in those roles. It's not necessarily a slam to Kofi that he's best placed in the mid-card.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Fuck it, A&8's can be run by fucking RUSSO at this point I don't care, TNA is back to making this garbage look like the dreck it is.

    ReplyDelete
  159. I agree. Not everyone should be a main-eventer. But you can't give up on a good athletic and reliable wrestler by not even giving him the opportunity. I'm not an ultra-Kofi mark but I see a guy who works hard every time I see him and think he deserves a shot. I'm not saying give him the world title and put him over the Undertaker at WM but more to just see him in a higher-profile angle. People believed that Owen Hart was the white Koko B. Ware until the Bret feud. Who knows what Kofi can do if he's got a chance?

    And really, this is the company that gives ADR and the Big Show continous runs at the top and they are definitely NOT setting the world on fire. Even Hardcore fuckin' Holly got a main-event match at a PPV! 

    ReplyDelete
  160. And that's why Ryback still squashes geeks, because that's the concern of the main roster is that he'll kill them in there.

    ReplyDelete
  161. That kind of lays out my point. I think the stories and actions of the characters should make sense for their motivations. When you start trying to book solely to illicit a reaction out of the fans a certain way it becomes a problem.

    Bret Hart's slow heel turn made sense because you could understand where he was coming from there was a character motivation for it. Austin's first turn was poorly done because no logical character motivation presented itself for him to ally with someone he hated even more than The Rock. The second time he turned heel it was far better done because this time it made total sense. He was going against Vince yet again like he had always done, this time just drunk with power becoming that which he rebelled against.

    CM Punk doesn't have much of a logical explanation for his actions of late and that's why it's bad.

    ReplyDelete
  162.  It's the Brock guy, right? The one who was doing the Brock taunt when he came back after WM? I saw him recently at another show too, and thought I was going crazy, he was over the top marking out for someone else too. I didn't catch the Bryan segment last night but a friend texted me telling me, I have to check it out on my DVR.

    ReplyDelete
  163.  100% agree. When blading was allowed, bleeding was an automatic way to look like the other guy did some damage to you no matter how you sold it. Without blading though, it looks awful. See Punk beating, say, Rey a couple weeks ago. He sat there holding his jaw selling that Rey hurt him. He posed but he looked worn out. Hell, look at ORTON (of all people) in the Christian matches...he'd always win but at least post match he'd be leaning on the ropes, slowly getting to his feet...he'd pose on the ropes then slowly climb down and lean like Christian took a lot out of him. Cena grins and jogs around like he beat a jobber. Cannot stand it.

    ReplyDelete
  164. I agree with you, why would I be a bad guy if I was a wrestler?  I would lose WAY more often than I win, faces are allowed to cheat with no repercussions and are still cheered.  I get in the end, the face wins, I'm not disagreeing with that, in a typical feud, the face ends up being like 9-1 or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  165.  I agree with that. The problem is they went from "Cheer Punk, everyone! Cheer Punk, everyone! OH MY GOD SUDDENLY BOO HIM!!" for no real adequately explained reason. And for the people who aren't huge Cena marks, his explanation is TRUE. It's one thing to go with the "A heel should believe he's right" explanation but have Punk go over the top with it (like he sort of did with Lawler), his explanation was 100% right AND something his fans have been complaining about for months. So why am I supposed to boo Punk? Because he feels disrespected that they'd put Cena VS Big Show or Cena VS Ace over him? Or Cena VS Kane? *I* felt he was being disrespected too, why would that make me boo him?

    ReplyDelete
  166.  What does Ryback say to his cat?

    KNEAD! ME! MORE!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  167.  That's exactly my problem. I don't like the chickenshit heel, but if they had one chickenshit heel, or even two (say, one at the main event and one in the midcard), okay, there's a place for that. But every single heel except maybe Big Show (and even he has some chickenshit tendencies amongst the monster stuff)? Where's the Bret Hart/HHH/Kurt Angle/etc. heel who is a clear bad guy but can outwrestle anyone? Even Edge, he had chickenshit tendencies but as he went along he would actually beat guys. Heel Jericho (not the recent version so much but the one that came back in 2008) beat some top guys clean. But now nobody does anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  168. THERE IS NOTHING TO MARK OUT ABOUT THESES DAYS!

    ReplyDelete
  169. What did Ryback say to the dermatologist?

    CLEAN!  MY!  SPORES!

    ??

    ReplyDelete
  170. Even Public Enemy #1 on this board (HHH) has the decency to sell like a match took something out of him.  Congrats WWE, now Miz looks like even more of a chump than he already did.  He's officially useless to you.

    ReplyDelete
  171. They are in Chicago next week?  Great.  

    The first 2 hours will be devoted to CM Punk burning down Navy Pier, Demolishing Wrigley Field, Stealing the Jordan statue from the United Center, and giving Brian Urlacher a GTS in the middle of the ring before setting fire to him.

    When the crowd pops for all that, we might get a box of puppies at 11:02 PM.

    ReplyDelete
  172. God, I really hope they team DB and Kane up as a tag team. 

    ReplyDelete
  173. Well, the ring intro didnt help.  Justin Roberts was practically crying when he brought him out.

    ReplyDelete
  174. They are in Chicago next week?  Great.  
    The first 2 hours will be devoted to CM Punk burning down Navy Pier, Demolishing Wrigley Field, Stealing the Jordan statue from the United Center, and giving Brian Urlacher a GTS in the middle of the ring before setting fire to him.
    When the crowd pops for all that, we might get a box of puppies at 11:02 PM.

    ReplyDelete
  175.  Yup. The champion should be considered the best. Just like when HHH was champion JR would hate him but frequently say "he's the best" and put him over even if he claimed he didn't like him.

    ReplyDelete
  176. I'm a Triple H fan. As a Triple H fan I liked the segment. Frankly I don't give a crap what any of you think.

    ReplyDelete
  177. You're spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  178.  I just want to know one thing: did you get a tear in your eye?

    ReplyDelete
  179.  HHH's actual retirement is probably 15 years down the road. A sizable majority will be happy to see him go.

    ReplyDelete
  180. I DVRed the show and watched the Yankees game instead last night. I watched the show this morning, fast forwarding as I got ready for work. I probably spent less than an hour actually watching the show. 

    I can understand pushing the characters you want to push, but how does everyone backstage not see what is and what isn't working? Punk is getting cheered no matter what he does. Next week, in Chicago? Forget it, he could piss on a Bears jersey, burn a Cubbies 'W' pennant while singing "New York, New York," and they'll still cheer him during his matches. 

    Loving Daniel Bryan, though. He makes tuning in to Raw completely worth it. 

    ReplyDelete
  181. Well they favored him at Extreme Rules, this past April (shockingly enough).  But if we're talking just him and Punk.  Then, yeah.  He's getting NOTHING from Chi-Town.

    ReplyDelete
  182. You mean like how they sucked Hogan's dick at Wrestlemania X8?

    ReplyDelete
  183. Or maybe he just forgot to shake somebody's hand like Ryder did.

    ReplyDelete
  184. HHH only sells when he wants to get something out of it (like in LA).  If he feels he's not going to get anything out of selling, THEN FUCK SELLING GETTING DROPPED FROM 20 FT. IN THE AIR IN A CAR.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Please, when does even the likes of Orton, or anybody else do that kind of selling these days?  EVERYBODY in the WWE does that these days.  Cena is not a magical exception to the rule.

    You want ridiculous selling, check out HBK in Summerslam 2002 where he kips up with no back problems after HHH was giving him back breakers on steel chairs for 20 minutes. 

    ReplyDelete
  186. What can I say, it's a strange place...

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  187.  I don't mean offense here because lord knows I don't blame you if you're not, but I don't think you're paying attention. Watch Punk after a match. He ALWAYS sells something unless it's supposed to be a squash or there's some kind of angle going in (such as Punk walking out of a match). He'll sell a limb injury of some kind, or he'll at least lean on the ropes. Orton doesn't do it much because he has a lot of squash matches to be honest, but watch the Christian matches and watch Orton post match. He poses but he's selling too. He leans on the ropes, he pulls himself up with them as if he's exhausted from winning a hard fought match. Cena doesn't, and yeah, he's mostly the only one. Not the only person, but mostly.

    I'm obviously, of course, not referring to guys like Ryback (who, at this point, SHOULDN'T be selling post match, the idea is he's a monster) or Clay who usually wins squashes or gets revenge post match. I'm talking about Cena facing legitimate midcard, upper midcard, or main event heels. Even the two Punk matches last year, where Punk looked very good during the match and won, he really doesn't sell anything post match. He slips away after Money in the Bank (totally fine with this, focus needed to be on Punk, not Cena) and then at Summerslam he pops up complaining about being under the ropes and storms away looking fine. Look at, say, last year when he fought Miz in an I Quit match...Miz and Riley spent 20 minutes beating on him with weapons. As soon as the "comeback spot" came, Cena ran all over the arena chasing Miz then celebrated like he just beat a jobber. I'm not asking him to act like a corpse every single time (in fact I'd rather he not), but he sells NOTHING post match, not even tiredness from being in a long match. Watch some of the other guys next time...Cena isn't the only one who does it, but he's the worst offender.

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  188. But they do that in every Mania for the Taker, shit, even HHH has gone out to suck his dick multiple times. 

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  189. Do you sometimes wear leather jackets with a denium vest on top?

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  190. Considering the guy went 51 minutes with HBK in London and didn't look exhausted I can buy that he doesn't get tired/exhausted as easily as everyone else. Yes I think there's some truth to what your saying, but at the same time. He shoudn't do that kind of selling ALL THE TIME.  Because if you do it all the time, it just makes it mean less when it's SUPPOSED to mean something.

    Also I watched those Christian matches with Orton, and I didn't buy that as "I fought a hard fought match" selling.  I saw that more as him just doing it for a second and then forgetting about it.  Or as Scott likes to call it, "Test selling".

    Yes Punk sells more, but he's one of the ONLY guys who sells really well these days.  Even the midcard guys like Christian don't do that kind of selling that you're accusing Cena of not doing these days.

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  191. Except that crowd popped like crazy when Kofi pinned both Punk and Orton in less than a minute at Survivor Series.

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  192. "Forget it, he could piss on a Bears jersey, burn a Cubbies 'W' pennant while singing "New York, New York," and they'll still cheer him during his matches. "

    Just for shits and giggles, I hope he does something to that degree.

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