Friday, September 12, 2014

Ascension

I'm catching up on NXT Takeover, and I know what you said about The Ascension, but I can't help but think these guys aren't even close to ready.

They're garbage in the ring, their mannerisms are embarrassingly self-serious, and they look like an HBO Real Sex episode of aging S&M fetishists.

How will this 1998 industrial music enthusiast shit translate to the main roster?


They aren't ready because they only ever wrestled in 2 minute squash matches and never learned how to work a longer standard tag match.  The best thing about them was the entrance, and they destroyed that by switching the bombastic classical score out for the generic hard rock, so I don't hold out a lot of hope for their long-term future.  Thing is, though, both Konnor and Viktor are into their 30s and they're not gonna make a career out of sitting in developmental, so much like Adam Rose it's either take a shot now or cut them loose.  And it's not like we haven't seen a million monster heel tag teams in the past, so they know what to do with them to protect them.  Keep it short and explosive, get someone to talk for them, don't sell a bunch.  Easy peasy.  They will undoubtedly fuck it up, but it SHOULD be easy.  

24 comments:

  1. They should bring in the Minister for a lot of guys, but that's a particularly inspired combination.

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  2. Hilarious image: Dutch managing them.

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  3. They aren't monster looking, that.doesn't help

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  4. He's probably busy at a karaoke bar or an orgy anyway.

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  5. "I'm ass-cension! I'm ass-cension...yeah!!!"

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  6. They aren't bodybuilders...that's vince's real man crush. LOVE that gif of vince orgasming over Gary strydrom....hilarious!

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  7. As far as playing up strengths and hiding weakness goes, Paul Heyman would vs perfect for their manager; that also solves the "they can't talk" problem.

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  8. Bush league act which won't play at the major league level without a very substantial overhaul, as neither one of these cats is a good enough worker to carry the team.

    The "hitman" guy isn't anything special in the ring and the "anvil" guy isn't really that intimidating, big, or personable. They also both look sort of ridiculous (and not in a good way; its basically "Hey, look, less muscular Horshu and Christopher Daniels if he had a ludicrous ponytail and had half the talent!").

    They're "promoting" them because they have absolutely nothing else to do with them, so why the hell not throw them out there.

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  9. I feel like they'll throw the Ascension directly at the Usos as soon as they get called up, beat them for the tag titles... and at that point, have nowhere to go.

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  10. So...

    http://www.tnanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dutchmantelwarriorsting.jpg



    ???

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  11. Hire James Mitchell as their manager and they might do OK for awhile.

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  12. Ha!! I just posted the same thing before I scrolled down..

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  13. I get WCW Kronik vibes from these guys.

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  14. That's what I hate about the tag division. As soon as the new hotness debut, they win the titles and have nowhere to go but down. There should be multiple tag feuds.

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  15. Holy shit, the WBF pay-per-views are actually on Youtube. How much booze would we have to buy Scott for him to do a rant on those because this shit is weirding me out.

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  16. If his stint with Cesaro is any indication, they'd have Heyman promoting Lesnar the whole time and it wouldn't help them at all.

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  17. So their the Roman reigns of tag teams?

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  18. Im a mark for these guys, and was Kronik as well, just a sucker for these types of teams even if digging deeper there are some fundamental issues. Conor Obrisn win me over on a unique match with percy watson at WM 29 Access

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  19. Also id love more 2 outta 3 falls matches in tag

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  20. He does a lounge act full time at a resort in Orlando, singing Sinatra and Tony Bennett songs for tourists.

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  21. I think they've done a good job of making The Ascension feel like monsters. It's hard for me to reconcile this Connor with the one who did the rat face gimmick on NXT. I didn't even realize he was physically imposing back then.

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  22. As an industrial music enthusiast sir I take offense to this post! Even if it is entirely true!

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