One thing I've learned about life is that if you really let go, it's just a joy ride ~Ricky Williams
In New England it seems the best medicine is to ignore any and all medical problems until you're dying or bleeding - ideally both. And even a whisper of getting mental help? You're weak. You're faking. Tough it out. Be a man.
I would hand-to-god rather die than have anyone think of me as a 'cry baby' or wuss. And aside from a couple of stitches as a toddler, and a surgery in second grade to put a testicle lodged somewhere up around my Adam's apple down where it belongs, I haven't spent any time getting urgent medical care. For a while there, 'tough it out' was my middle name.
But my family tree has more people hanging from it via their own hand than I'd care to count. With an ocean's worth of thoughts swirling around in my head, I sought actual help, and in addition to a John Holmes-sized load being lifted off my chest, I was given a drug called Lamictal.
It almost killed me.
Lamictal (generic: Lamotrigine) is a drug given to epileptics to control electrical impulses in the brain that cause seizures. Psychiatrists also use it to help folks with bi-polar tendencies - Ya know, the kind of folks who would post non-wrestling related content to a wrestling blog, then get actively annoyed when people are actively annoyed with it - sound like anyone you know?
Lamictal can also cause a very severe rash that...well, Google "Stevens-Johnsons Syndrome" and you'll see what would have been in store for me had I done by Irish Catholic duty and ignored it. One day I woke up from some very, very, strange dreams to find myself covered in a rash, with a fever, flop sweat, and the feeling I was about to have a heart attack as my chest pulsed furiously.
So, like that, I had my first ever stay in an emergency room. A Vietnam Veteran was mandated by hospital rule to push my hefty ass around the hospital in a wheel chair for an X-ray and from test-to-test. I got my first ever IV and was given some kind of medication to combat the reaction to the other medication I wasn't allowed to stop taking right away because it could result in even worse symptoms - like 'homicidal thoughts'. The words 'potentially life threatening' were used more than once.
The fever and pulses turned to intense itching. Little tiny pin pricks, like bugs crawling on the skin and biting with every single step - so painful and intense my limbs would involuntarily flail and I chipped a tooth after hitting myself in the jaw.
I watched World War Z just to find other human suffering on my level. I went *back* to the emergency room the next day, and they gave me medication to combat the itching. Naturally that medicine did jack, and upon calling a dial-a-nurse and being told BOTH of the medicines I was given take 24-48 hours to take effect, I was about broken - what's this about homicidal thoughts, again?
This is what I got for attempting to get my head right? This is what I got for going against what my parents thought? This is what I get for trying to feel 'normal'? There's nothing they could do? The nurse; "Take a lot of cold showers,". Thanks.
And then... DDP Yoga. It was not a strong edition of Energy, no. But I flexed on my hulk ups, tucked my butt when DDP said so, and felt every bit the idiot I always did when doing the YRG Warrior Position. On the list of excuses to find your way into an ice cold shower three times day, clearly this was among the best. By the time I made it through, hopped in the shower, and hopped out..holy shit.
Same Day - Left: Medication / Right: Yoga-cation |
Now, seven days and...11 workouts after this whole ordeal started, three new medications to take, with about four hundred dollars in medical bills literally putting a price on my mental health...I find myself compelled to write about this whole thing - but unsure of the point.
Why, again, am I here, telling you about DDP Yoga? Why do I give a fuck if you give a fuck? Do you give a fuck? Does posting yet another photo of myself wearing far-too-baggy pants with a dopey "I can't believe how much less of me there is!" expression on my face help anyone or do any good?
Why am I bothering you with this for the fourth time?
Really. Various vegan and health and Yoga oriented sites were interested in bringing me aboard, as there's nothing more valuable in the health and fitness industry than someone who used to be fat, but they all regarded me with a little bit of...shade. They disliked my lack of enlightenment, the fact I was skeptical of all things yoga and vegan and health and diet, and told me I couldn't swear or make wrestling jokes.
It's almost like...the rest of the world doesn't take pro wrestling seriously, or something. So, face it Otters, you're the target demo for this DDP Yoga thing, and whether you want to admit it or not, I'm your fun house mirror. The point is in the pointlessness. Some fucking asshole on a wrestling blog can change his entire damn life via some piddle-shit Yoga? I gotta get me some of that.
If you hate me and think I'm pathetic, think about what you, a clearly more talented and better put together person than I, could accomplish via this whole Yoga thing. You'd probably show me right the fuck up and be doing head stands in two weeks.
If you're portly and simply lack the hutzpah to get started, perhaps this four part series has given you just enough kick to get the program and start the work outs. If you're in fantastic shape and look down on people who have trashed their bodies with fatty foods and an excess of sodium, you'll see there hope yet for the great unwashed and over-marinated masses.
And if you're me, well, it's all I got. I love games and wrestling and movies as much as always, but that desire to write about them, that passionate fire to shout from the roof tops about the best and worst and the ones worth watching...has dulled. The simple fact that I can bend down on one leg and balance like some sort of paraplegic airplane with my arms outstretched, while sick with a potentially life-threatening rash, signals to me that the possibilities are endless - I don't need to be a 'critic' any more than I 'need' to listen to well-meaning friends who find it in their heart to tell me eventually "I'll want to move on to something a little more difficult than...ha..Yoga,".
The shoulds and woulds and musts are secondary. The future is ahead of me and all doors appear open. I'm not lying when I say my number one goal in life at the moment is to head up to New Hampshire and show 'The Tomahawk" a ride I got kicked off of for being too fat a year ago, just who's boss. I may still have a question or six or seven for my shrink, but hey, is Yoga and my own mental resolve can pull through this ordeal, the sky's the limit.
Maybe I'll review WCW Thunder or something.
MeekinOnMovies On...DDP Yoga Part 1: Impressions
MeekinOnMovies On...DDP Yoga Part 2: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
MeekinOnMovies On...DDP Yoga Part 3
So when does "Meekin On Meekin Dying In A Fire" drop?
ReplyDeleteI would make a snarky comment, but I don't want APMark to yell at me anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhen we realized Farva had gone missing many of use were concerned.
ReplyDeleteYou_Favorite_Loser has somewhat gone missing and some of us are concerned.
Your lasts comments were about you being in the hospital and then you disappeared. Literally no one has expressed concern.
You aren't wanted, please go away.
Oh and you are not a former fat guy you are a current fat guy.
Too bad the medicine didn't finish the job.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to read this,but is this just Meekin talking about himself again?
ReplyDeleteLeave current fat guys alone. Except Meekin.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this, except for the Loser part.
ReplyDeleteI said "some" of us. I specifically had you in mind when I chose that word.
ReplyDeleteHe posted it didn't he?
ReplyDeleteI appreciate it. He's a psycho.
ReplyDeleteTouche
ReplyDelete🚽🚽🚽💩💩💩🙊🙈
ReplyDeleteIn the time it took me to scroll down to the comments I caught one word of this post.
ReplyDeleteOtters.
And that's why I don't feel that bad when he catches heat on here.
What does this have to do with MY COCKER ROOSTER?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you obviously lost some weight and are recovering from your hospital stay doing DDP Yoga.
ReplyDeleteCome on, that's a bit harsh. You can not like his writing just fine.
ReplyDeleteI will leave the Meekin bashing to everyone else. Mainly because I have a conscience about such things.
ReplyDeleteLamictal is not a bad drug. It has helped someone I care deeply about. Not all drugs are right for all people. Some react to it differently than others.
I would appreciate it if all mental health cases sought out help.
As a fellow DDPYoga user who lost a bunch of weight, congrats.
ReplyDeleteAs a BoD person, please stop posting. You wrote "Why, again, am I here, telling you about DDP Yoga?" This was too long, too much about you, and nothing we already didn't know.
That is pretty meaningless coming from you.
ReplyDeleteWait, are you Meekin or Neekin?
ReplyDeleteAnd why even post a photo of that slip anyway...?
Good for you Meeks. Keep fighting the good fight.
ReplyDeleteYou might lose a third of the people you banter with daily on here if that happened
ReplyDeleteNot being a dick here but while I didn't miss him much I'm glad he's okay. I'd never wish anything bad on any of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm aware of that.
ReplyDeleteOuch. Then again, I'm pretty much dead inside and could care less when anyone goes missing, so I'm no one to judge.
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with it
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing about online hangouts: when someone disappears, you just never know. I frequent a Cincinnati Reds forum where there are only about 20 regulars. Some of them have just disappeared over the years. We have one confirmed member who passed away, but the rest we don't know. One of the sad parts about online communities.
ReplyDeleteI find everything I say to be quite meaningful.
ReplyDeleteFart.
I, uh, thought this was well-written and I'm happy that you seem to be doing better - even though I'm out of the inner loop of the blog and had no idea there was anything wrong. So, um. I guess I'm leaving now.
ReplyDeleteI didn't wish anything bad on him. I was mostly just trying to illustrate that he isn't wanted here.
ReplyDeleteHe is though. He unites the community. People feel good about themselves for picking on him. Is he annoying? Yes. You can say that about the majority here though. If he were all bet the place constantly it would probably wear thin quick, but a little
ReplyDeleteMeekin isn't near as bad as a forum.
Agree 100%
ReplyDeleteDrugs need to be monitored carefully and they will not always work at first.
This. I was sitting at 270 lbs a little over a year ago. Through DDPYoga, I'm now down to a healthier 200 lbs today. I really liked your DDPYoga blogs, but now it's more self gratification for you than anything, Meekin. Promote the hell out of DDPYoga. It works, and DDP deserves the advertising, but at this point you are turning people off to his product here. I was a supporter of yours before and during your meltdown, but now it's just over the top. Take a break from the BoD. You said it yourself in this blog "why, again, am I here?"
ReplyDeleteSo, since Meekin has lost some weight and had a near death experience, he is totally qualified to write medical blogs and fitness posts. Sure, he only knows 61 of the top 100 prescription drugs, and he's never actually squatted unless he was peeing, bit hey - he's the expert.
ReplyDeleteI for one cannot wait for slim, trim Dr. Otter.
Meekin, glad everything went well, and hope you fell better.
ReplyDeleteOh hell, did he get the QOTD gig again?
ReplyDelete"Maybe I'll review WCW Thunder or something."
ReplyDeleteOh my God.
Meekin has been Scotsman the whole time.
Bravo to you, Scotsman, for a brilliant ruse.
Unless that's not true. Otherwise... Fuck off, Meekin.
Get a livejournal.
ReplyDeleteIf Meekin was really scottsman fucking around that would be hysterical.
ReplyDeleteGood read, keep on working Meekin. I'm sorry the exercise isn't enough and you have to take meds. I enjoyed this post much more than cultstatus rambling on and on about the forum.
ReplyDelete