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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–07.03.95

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 07.03.95

Taped from Danville, PA

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

1-2-3 Kid v. Mike Bell

That is pretty damn miraculous for a broken neck two months previous. That’s some John Cena level healing there. Kid with a clothesline for two, but Bell comes back with a powerslam for two and hits the chinlock. Vince treats us to a bizarre chorus of “Yummy Yummy Yummy” to torment Lawler while Kid hits a dive off the apron, and back in for a dropkick and a sideroll to finish at 3:00.

In Your House 2 Report With Todd. Diesel v. Sid! JJ v. Shawn! Yoko-Owen v. Allied Powers! That last one was kind of weird given Bulldog’s legal troubles and the open feelings that the Powers were a complete flop at that point.

Jeff Jarrett just can’t wait to be alone with his baby tonight. Clearly in retrospect this was Roadie singing, but at the time everyone (including me) was like “Huh, this is actually pretty good,” which made the reveal even better. Of course then Roadie got injured and Jarrett quit and they had no followup, but they almost pulled it off.

Bob Holly v. The Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler works Holly over in the corner, but Bob takes him down with a headscissors and works the arm. Brawler puts him down with a knee, but Holly comes back with a dropkick for two. Flying bodypress finishes at 3:00.

Meanwhile, on Superstars, an Adam Bomb v. HOG match goes horribly awry when Godwinn slops Bomb and potentially overloads his reactor core safety features. He could have killed us all!

Henry Godwinn v. Barry Horowitz

Barry works the arm to start, but Godwinn pounds him down and follows with a clothesline. Flying kneedrop, but Horowitz dodges a blind charge and makes the comeback before missing a dropkick. Slop drop finishes at 3:00.

Barry Didinsky shills t-shirts that no human being would ever wear in public.

Sid v. Bam Bam Bigelow

Dibiase bribes Henry Godwinn to stay at ringside, and he immediately gets into a brawl with Biglelow before getting kicked out. So the focus of Vince’s commentary is now that Sid is a chicken, a strategy that is supposed to make us pay money to watch him in the main event. Sid overpowers Bigelow, but misses a blind charge and takes a DDT. Sid’s selling is just terrible here, which is why he shouldn’t be selling. Bigelow goes after Dibiase and Sid gets a cheapshot to take over. Big boot and we take a break, returning in a chinlock. Bammer fights up and Sid chokeslams him, but Bigelow escapes the powerbomb and makes the comeback. However, he goes up and Godwinn returns to push him off, giving Sid the pin at 7:40. So HOG is the newest member of the Corporation and Bigelow’s push is done for good. 1/2*

Meanwhile, at the Special Olympics, the WWF gets increasingly desperate for mainstream acceptance. As usual, it lessens the karma impact on their part if they do charity work and then crow for weeks talking about how great they are for doing so.

Waylon Mercy v. Jeff Hardy

Mercy shakes hands on the way to the ring, pretending to be a babyface, then kicks the shit out of Hardy. This was actually Jeff’s RAW debut as himself, although he did jobber shots as “Keith Davis” before this. Mercy drops him on the top rope a few times and chokes him out and the crowd’s getting into the act. Legdrop sets up a brainbuster, and then Mercy finishes with a sleeper while giving a demented expression to the camera at 3:00.

Meanwhile, Jerry Lawler annoys people at the dentist’s office, which gives us the first appearance of Glen Jacobs as Isaac Yankem DDS. Initial rumors had been Shane Douglas playing the part since he was coming in around the same time.

Next week: The Allied Powers v. Tatanka & King Kong Bundy Henry Godwinn!

Comments

  1. I really liked the song actually.


    "Spend my day working hard on the go
    But the hands on the clock keep spinning too slow"

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  2. Shane Douglas playing that part meant we may never have gotten Kane

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  3. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:25 AM

    The Roadie did ok. And Double J was in Spring Breakers so any argument against him is invalid.

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  4. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:26 AM

    I just can't see Shane Douglas playing the role of the Undertakers half brother...or Fake Diesel for that matter

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  5. I had heard rumors at the time that Dustin Rhodes would be Yankem since he was also on the way in. Interesting time with lots of new faces coming in.

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  6. I thought Henry Godwinn was an ally of the Million Dollar Corporation, but not an official member.

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  7. I assume that's the same Mike Bell from the infamous Perry Saturn match? Anybody know when they stopped using perennial scrubs like him?

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  8. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:29 AM

    Do you think Hunter is deeply ashamed of jobbing to HOG in hog pen matches?

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  9. Gotta love Isaac Yankem's place of origin: Decatur, IL. I would rank that as slightly above Arachniman's Webb City but below The Ding Dong's Bellville

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  10. Sid vs. Bigelow makes no sense for a random Raw match during this time considering they're pushing both men.

    But I'm not a millionaire so what do I know.

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  11. HHH won the match

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  12. Yeah, which is why I said that if Douglas had played Yankem instead of Jacobs, we'd never have gotten Kane. Or, if they still would've created the character in 1997, we might have had some generic big lug play him. It's funny how the creation of one character that bombed (Isaac Yankem) let to a character that lasted 17 years plus now.

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  13. Well, they've specifically stopped using Bell because he's dead. I highly recommend the steroid documentary Bigger, Stronger, Faster to anyone who hasn't seen it - it was made by Bell's brother, and it's one of the best docs I've ever seen.

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  14. Nothing - NOTHING - tops Damien Demento's "The Inner Reaches of Your Mind."

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  15. Caliber Winfield swears by it

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  16. That might have been the most surprising movie I have ever seen, when it comes to expectations going into it.

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  17. I begged and pleaded for Are You Serious to do the Hog Pen match. Asked them almost every damn week and I was ignored.


    Can't for the life of me understand why. *grin!*

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  18. lol yep. That, and the never ending "fact" that the hog pen matches were a RESULT of the MSG incident, when the matches happened a good 6 months before the curtain call. One of my favorite "completely false" memories that 99% of people seem to remember.

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  19. I see the full thing is on YouTube, so I'll have a look.

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  20. Not even Maxx Payne's "From the State of Euphoria"?

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  21. "So the focus of Vince’s commentary is now that Sid is a chicken, a
    strategy that is supposed to make us pay money to watch him in the main
    event."

    Yep, the only thing I can imagine is that the sell was "It's a lumberjack match, so Sid can't escape, so pay money to see Diesel beat up that big meanie Sid". Clearly they weren't going with "The title might change hands".

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  22. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    You should have asked Puppet H. He would have been all in.

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  23. I freaked out when I saw Jarrett and did the Double J strut.

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  24. Gangrel's "From the Other Side of Darkness"

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  25. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:48 AM

    I think your thinking of the Ultimate Warrior incident at Wrestlemania. Other then that Vince I am a fan of your work and hope you keep it up.

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  26. It was clearly there to set up Bigelow v. HOG, so that tells you where Bam Bam's push was going.

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  27. I seriously thought the corporation was bad ass when I was in 7th grade. What a dumb fuck kid I was

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  28. Maybe that too, but I clearly remember reading at least a dozen times about the Hog Pen match was a result of the MSG punishment. Granted, this was over 10 years ago, so maybe it's no longer a thing.

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  29. You're too hard on yourself.

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  30. How about Black Blood's "From a Little Town in France"?

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  31. Random old RAW thought:

    I never thought this day would come, but dammit I miss Todd Pettingil. After years of generic sportscenter factory backstage interviewers I really wouldn't mine one obnoxious, completely out of place radio dj interviewing people. He was horrible but at least he was memorably horrible instead of generic horrible like Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham or any of the other announcers not named Renee Young.

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  32. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:52 AM

    I mostly wanted to see Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudges half naked. Instead I got Double J getting jacked on Jesus. Funny how things work out

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  33. He's exactly the right amount of hard on himself.

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  34. Also, in my entire wrestling fandom the Tanaka turn was the most shocking swerve ever. I never saw that coming and was all in on Luger getting his revenge. I had no clue what was good and bad as a kid. I just ate up whatever horseshit Vince piled on my plate.

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  35. People used to always talk about HHH being punished for MSG by participating in hog pen matches. Vince is right

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  36. Who was booked as being from "Every woman's fantasy and every man's nightmare"? Was it Cornette during his intro for the Midnight Express?

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  37. Yeah I thought the corporation was like the most evil and impressive thing ever. Just total moron LOL.

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  38. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:53 AM

    MMM more like closing on on 20 years ago. Fuck I'm old.

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  39. I think it was Stan Lane introducing Cornette.

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  40. Well the false "facts" were discussed 10 years ago, about the 20 year old hog pen match. But now we're just getting crazy with numbers!

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  41. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    Kurt Angle did get off one of the best lines ever towards HHH, "I was winning Olympic Gold Metals when you were wrestling in hog pen matches"

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  42. In hindsight, Jerry Lawler should have brought in KANE the evil brother of the Undertaker. ;)

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  43. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    so are we friends or not?

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  44. When did tanaka turn on Luger?

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  45. "Adam Bomb v. HOG match goes horribly awry when Godwinn slops Bomb and potentially overloads his reactor core safety features. He could have killed us all!"


    I LOL'd. Co-workers looking at me like I'm crazy. Thanks, Keith.

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  46. Oh we're good friends....

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  47. BUT BETTER ENEMIEZ!!!!!

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  48. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    Hate Kane if you must but the man did make a damm good living for himselt

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  49. Shane as the evil dentist could have been fun if he went over the top with it.

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  50. Bomb did clearly yell "I'LL KILL YOU!!!" to a huge pop when he regained consciousness. So of course, he jobbed out and got released soon after. Seriously, not sure why Vince didn't do anything with Adam Bomb.

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  51. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 12:00 PM

    Ok good. I have not had friends on the blog since Caliber melted down and Farva died....

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  52. Personally I would have preferred Shane Douglas played the evil hog farmer.

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  53. I don't remember when but it was during an angle where Luger was being courted by Dibiase and tatanka kept accusing Luger of selling out. Maybe around summerslam 94?

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  54. For sure. I don't even hate Kane at all; I'm just sick to death of him. From what I understand, he's a good company man, and the other wrestlers like working with him, because he's safe. So, more power to him and everything. I still don't want to see him anymore, though.

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  55. He's being a dick with words and asking when Pat Tanaka turned on Luger.

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  56. haha, I didn't even notice that, thanks for pointing it out! *upvote*

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  57. Maybe he thought he'd be too explosive.




    THANK YOU!!!!! *ducks vegetables*

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  58. Guess I don't get it?

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  59. You spelled Tatanka wrong.

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  60. Eh is that why? I fixed it like two seconds later, before I even got the blue thing to see his reply. Oh well

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  61. Other great hometowns:


    Deuce and Domino, "The Other Side of the Tracks"


    Black Blood, "A Little Town in France"


    Duke Droese, "Mt. Trashmore, Florida"


    The Stalker, "The Environment (!!!)"


    The Zodiac, "The Land of Ying and Yang (!!!!!)"

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  62. Oh tatanka. That's not what you said. Was hoping for you to talk about tanaka and liger feuding.

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  63. I'm more impressed he went so fast from consoling you for being a dumb kid, to making fun if you for a spelling error. Quick turnaround there.

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  64. To be fair, I think Josh and Grisham probably have better personalities than what were shown, and just were not allowed to share them. Vince likes his interviewers corporately bland.


    Which is why it shocks me Renee is allowed to show a little personality at times. Maybe it just shines through and they can't stop it....who knows.

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  65. Yeah I guess so. The kind hearted troll is definitely different spin on things. I'd like to see where he goes with it. Could possibly have some legs.

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  66. Fun fact, In Chris Chavis' debut match in 1991, it was Tatanka vs Tanaka.

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  67. Mt. Trashmore??!!! Jesus fucking Christ.

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  68. I god, I actually remember the Yummy Yummy Yummy thing and how it was embarrassing for me as an 11 year old to even watch that.

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  69. It would be awesome if he was super nice and friendly with everybody. Except Cult.

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  70. Actually, I'm one of the few Kane fans here! In fact, I actually like the Corporate Kane gimmick, although I wish he'd go completely all the way with it.

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  71. Sid ''Hailing from anywhere he damn well pleases.''

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  72. The day Vince released him he apparently refused to leave Titan Towers and just sat in the lobby promoting Vince to say "somedays you just can't get rid of a Bomb."

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  73. Ah ha. A quick YouTube search proves you're right. My bad.

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  74. Same here! Apparently everyone saw it coming, and these days I probably would, but I was shocked. I figured Luger would prove himself and they'd hug and make up, Tatanka turning didn't even cross my mind.

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  75. If only Dr Shelby was around back then.

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  76. I wish they would have brought in Don West to be the new Barry Didinski. Now that man can shill shitty T-shirts!

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  77. Yeah, the cowardly guy having no way out ensuring he's going to get his ass kicked can be a selling point, it just doesn't seem fitting for fucking Sid of all people.

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  78. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    It's cool...he will get his own office in Titan Towers one day. Then he will have gone all the way with it.

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  79. Exactly - kane was an awesome gimmick for years. Now, it's just tired and boring as sin when they keep putting him out there. He should occasionally do clean jobs to up and comers. But even then they seem to protect him for some reason.

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  80. That was the idea, with HOG wanting to earn his way into the rich people's club, but DiBiase never actually letting him in officially, because he was DIRT POOR and a FILTHY PIG FARMER!

    Ah, 1995 WWF. The days when their booking revolved around social allegories.

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  81. Yeah, that only works if the coward is a smaller guy like Shane Douglas or Shawn Michaels.

    Trying to make Sid a coward that's scared of a smiling goof that gets career threatening injuries as soon as you touch him is like trying to make Andre The Giant scared of The Red Rooster: Who's going to believe that for even a second?

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  82. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 9, 2014 at 12:45 PM

    yes he would have made bacon out of the pigs...and...mmm....bacon....wait how would that have made him a heel?

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  83. Definitely tied with The Bling Ring for the "worst music score in a movie" award.

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  84. Actually the Tatanka turn blew my mind as well, particularly due to Luger's history. Maybe there are more people who were shocked than we thought?

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  85. I never believed Jarrett sang it, didn't think Roadie sang it either. I thought WWF just hired a singer to do the song for them.

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  86. I thought for sure Luger was going to turn, it was the logical move for him considering the losing streak he'd been on since WMX. Turns heel, blames the fans for turning their back on him, goes after Bret. Storyline makes sense.

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  87. I was a dumb mark kid too, but even I knew the Corporation were a bunch of losers. I did like King Mabel though.

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  88. Yeah, I thought they were going to do a deal where Luger finally rejects DiBiase's advances, then a desperate DiBiase would try to buy Tatanka out and the whole segment would end with Luger and Tatanka both humiliating DiBiase and then do the whole babyface hug thing.


    The original plan for Summerslam was for Bam Bam and IRS to win the tag straps, so maybe my idea wasn't too far off as I could see Tatanka and Luger becoming a team to chase Bam Bam & IRS for the titles.

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  89. And then Bam Bam and HOG became a tag team...that didn't really go anywhere either.

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  90. I think the problem was that they were already pushing Mabel as the top monster heel and I guess the WWF braintrust thought they can't have two monster heels so Sid drew the short straw.

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  91. I heard Dustin was ging to be the third member of the Smoking Gunns. The rare case of playing a gay character would actually be a step up.

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  92. I still know all the worlds to "With My Baby Tonight" and could sing it on the spot.

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  93. CruelConnectionNumber2September 9, 2014 at 1:43 PM

    Godwinn is never an official Corporation member. DiBiase acknowledges this and makes fun of him and it causes Godwinn to turn babyface.

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  94. It COULD work with Sid--yes, even Sid--if he'd been allowed to get ANY heat on DIesel at all. After power bombing Shawn the night after WM, though...nothing. Diesel kicked out of his finisher at IYH and he spent the next 2 months running. Oh, but Diesel injured his elbow at that show. That changes things.


    There IS a way to make this storyline and stip work, if you have Sid perform some unspeakably awful act, then he realizes he didn't put Diesel away for good and has now bitten off more than he can chew with Big Daddy Cool out for revenge. But that didn't happen--in the 1995 WWF family entertainment environment, it couldn't happen. But it's the only way to make this plan work.

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  95. CruelConnectionNumber2September 9, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    "From a little town in France, this is Black Blood!" -- WCW, 1991

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  96. Eddie Gilbert & Sting in the UWF.

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  97. The Shark, alternately announced as being from the "Great Barrier Reef" (I'd kill to have seen Tenta work an Australian accent) and from "Tsunami."

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  98. I think the Red Rooster thing would've worked if they did it like the Jake Roberts feud. I can see it now, Andre fleeing the ring in terror at the Royal Rumble because Terry Taylor threw a chicken in the ring.

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  99. pretty sure it was on Netflix too which might have a higher quality version

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  100. Was Dibiase such death as a manager because he was bad at it, or because he was just never booked in a way where he seemed like an effective manager? He had the type of personality and mic skills that should have lent themselves to managing really well.

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  101. I thought it was the other way around

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  102. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 9, 2014 at 1:53 PM

    His stable sucked and they were never placed in a position where you thought they could actually win anything important.

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  103. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 9, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    Dr. Douglas DDS?

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  104. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 9, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    Seconded!

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  105. I thought they had a good thing going a week after Sid turned on Michaels, he had a match with Razor and ended up destroying him in an angle. They should have continued with the trend with Sid not caring about matches and just wanting to hurt people and being unpredictable.

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  106. When they were both part of the New New Orient Express. This also explains why Luger had such hatred for damn dirty Japs when he showed up to the USS Intrepid and body slammed Yokozuna straight back to Hiroshima. U S A U S A U S A

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  107. Vince also has VKM Shark Repellent

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  108. DiBiase was a terrific wrestler, but as a manager he couldn't get things over and became a parody of himself as the only thing he could say was that everybody has a price.

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  109. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 9, 2014 at 2:03 PM

    Watched it on Netflix a while back. Really interesting.

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  110. I miss Craig DeGeorge and Sean Mooney. I even miss Ian Mooney. I really miss Mongo McMichael and Pete "Duke of Doychester" Dorothy. I even miss Stephanie Wiand. I might even say I miss Scott Hudson. Maybe even the obnoxious Mark Madden. But Todd Pettingzoo? Nah.

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  111. It's too bad Taylor had that gimmick in the 80's, he'd have made millions from cock references in 1998.

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  112. I liked his twin brother, Ian better. Maybe they can find Ian Mooney, rehire Sean (and a special effects camera) and then rehire Luther Reigns and we can have the dream six man tag of Brie Cheese/Sean Mooney/Roman Reigns vs . Nikki Bella/Ian Mooney/Luther Reigns.

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  113. Special ring announcers Mark Madden and Mongo McMichael

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  114. Luger was in the Orient Express??

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  115. Actually I would have loved Andre being afraid of Taylor's pet rooster. ***** right there. A true five star match .

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  116. Is he and Damien Santo -- the dude in the WWE today with the robe and the beard?

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  117. Hunter didn't job in the match. He just took a bump in pig dump afterwards.

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