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The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–11.13.95

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 11.13.95

Taped from Jacksonville, FL. But…but…I thought only the WWF did stinky old taped shows?

Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan & Mongo

Meanwhile, shit gets really weird for Hulk Hogan. So now he’s the Phantom of the Opera or something, cutting crazy promos from a graveyard and going on about the dark side and light side of Hulkamania. It’s like he mashed up pop culture touchstones like Star Wars, and then COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT.

Randy Savage v. THE MONSTER MENG

Oh, also Randy Savage is now being introduced as hailing from “the dark side of Venice Beach, California”, where presumably they do REALLY sick stuff for their steroid fix. Weird stuff. Butt stuff. Savage, dressed like nWo era Macho, attacks Meng and chokes him out, but Savage gets distracted by Kevin Sullivan and falls victim to the Tongan martial arts. They fight on the floor as Meng takes over, and back in for some chops in the corner. And lots of choking. Meng misses a dive, however, and Savage finishes with the big elbow at 4:48. Apparently dark side Macho Man gets 30 seconds of offense in before taking the formulaic beating. * Lex Luger, Zubaz all over, attacks him afterwards and injures the arm again.

Chris Benoit v. Kensuke Sasaki

Benoit attacks to start, but gets pounded down and powerslammed. Bulldog out of the corner as Sasaki is so stiff (as in immobile) that he can barely get down for moves. Elbowdrop gets two. Benoit counters a suplex for two and hits his own german suplex, another one right out of that, and into a dragon suplex for the pin at 2:30. What a finish! You might ask why they’d have Sasaki do a clean job on national TV and then put him over Sting for the US title in Tokyo, but really do you need an answer besides “Because WCW”? **

World TV title: Johnny B. Badd v. Eddie Guerrero

They trade wristlocks to start and Badd gets a backbreaker for two. Eddie charges and hits elbow, and Badd slingshots in with a legdrop for two. Eddie gets a rana for two, but Badd comes off the top with a sunset flip for two and they trade pinfall reversals off that. Eddie misses another charge and hits the floor this time, and Badd follows with the flip dive. Back in, Badd misses a splash and Eddie gets two. Rollup gets two. Victory roll gets two. La Majastral gets two. Badd slugs back out of frustration and knocks Eddie to the apron, and tensions run high. They slug it out in the corner until the ref breaks them up as Bischoff is disappointed in the behavior from both of them. So Badd goes to a headlock instead, but Eddie slingshots onto him with a senton for two. Badd tombstones him for two. Eddie gets a tornado DDT for two. They collide on a bodypress attempt with time running out, but it’s a draw at 9:00. Are they really incapable of running a stopwatch properly? Super fun match showing guys getting angry because they’re trying to win a title, but unfortunately it never went anywhere. ***

The Giant and his entourage join us. A minor gaffe from Mean Gene, as he talks about what happened “two weeks ago” at Halloween Havoc, but this would be three weeks later at airtime. Giant is gonna win the battle royale, you know. According to Hogan at World War III, he was supposed to.  And if you can’t believe Hogan as sourced by a copy of the Observer that he was burning at the time, who can you believe?   

Sting v. Dean Malenko

They trade matwork to start and we take a break, returning with Dean in control and working on the leg. Sting comes back and misses the Stinger Splash, but Dean goes for the Cloverleaf and gets reversed into a small package for the pin at 7:55. This was fine, although not much to it. **1/4

Next week: Hulk Hogan v. Sting!

Good show this week, although a bit bland outside of the batshit crazy Hogan stuff.

Comments

  1. That Hogan Sting match was huge at the time. The same night HBK collapsed too.


    I imagine Meltzer having a stroke.

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  2. I thought the Sting-Malenko match was better than that, I'll have to revisit it.

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  3. If there was an Misawa match too that night, then Meltzer probably would continue to be in a coma today.

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  4. People can say what they want, but WCW booked Benoit, Eddie and Dean SUPER strong right out of the gate. Having your top babyface star (sorry Hulk) rely on a small package to beat a newcomer much smaller than him was pretty big. Imagine WWE debuting Ziggler and instead of getting Batista Bombed, Big Dave had to beat him with a schoolboy.

    Cool stuff.

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  5. meltzer loved him some misawa...

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  6. I've always been a "WWF guy" (and still am today), but I'll tell you one thing, what Benoit, Eddie, and Malenko were bringing to the table at this point, we weren't seeing this anywhere on RAW and it was pretty damn good. In hindsight, one thing I would change would be Steve McMichael's commentary (man was he terrible).

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  7. Wait didn't HBK collapse months later, after the Syracuse incident in the Owen match?

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  8. I think the wrestling world love MISAWA~! I sure do and always will! Hulluva wrestler.

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  9. What would happen if THE MONSTER MENG battled THEDEMONKANE in a "Who's DESCRIPTIVE NAME is the MOST OMINOUS?" match of the century??!!!!


    ....probably a shitty match. But still.....?

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  10. I do what I can!

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  11. PS - did you write that "PSS" to be ironic? You're on fire today, smart ass.

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  12. Has nothing to do with you not liking the joke, and everything to do with you being a fragile vagina about it.

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  13. He's a true inspiration to anyone looking to make a difference in the world.

    See, I learned that not only can you make a difference, but you can also be sure to let everyone know and hopefully get some credit. Why be enlightened if you can't brag about it to a few a total strangers on a wrestling blog?

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  14. As a fragile vagina once said, I do what I can!

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  15. Again, good point?

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  16. I liken it to loving a sports team. WWE is our team and we keep going, through the thick and thin.

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  17. Oh hey, I see what you did there!

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  18. You're on fire!!! Someone hose this guy down because he's FLAMMING US ALL!!!!!!!!

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  19. Seriously, fuck Plato sometimes

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  20. Nice. Really good stuff. The PTB update is when I know it's really officially Friday. Almost to the weekend ya'll. Hang in there. Hold on. Be strong.

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  21. Could be, I was distracted at the time.

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  22. I don't really know if you understand language or not, but by "fragile vagina", I mean to say that you were being a sensitive baby about the joke; this being the point. I hope this helps in your quest to learn English slang.

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  23. I appreciate it.

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  24. I only watch WCW shows when someone turns on Sting. PASS!

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  25. I know, right?

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  26. This guy knows a true social justice keyboard warrior must get in the last word. Its the only way he knows he's right!

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  27. his pickup line with the ladies was "Misawa hornayyyyy!!"

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  28. Can you please reply to this so that its documented that you've had the last word? I want the world to know. If you don't, it's cool.

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  29. That's right! It's almost respectable drinking time!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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  30. Its perfect because not only are you a true hero who made a difference, but you were also able to alert me to it! Now I can appreciate how smart and aggressive you are!!!! Not on your watch huh bro?

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  31. I'd be more comfortable reserving that honor for you. After all, you have such an important message to get across.

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  32. By all means, carry on.

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  33. although one could argue that it's strange that's okay for so many people to use an abusive relationship (or certain other horrible things/situations) as some sort of humorous analogy - but on the other side treat other horrible things as "too serious" for it (you will very, very likely never hear someone compare anything to "having sex with five-year old" - because people realize that it wouldn't be appropriate to use that kind of analogy. so why is people beating and injuring their partners "fair game"?)

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  34. this is such a stupid comment.

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  35. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 26, 2014 at 12:28 PM

    And they could not have booked Bryan's WMXXX night any better, opening the show by beating Hunter, HHH beating the shit out of him to make him injured for the title match, hanging in there, getting KO'd, abd doing the Foley rise from the stretcher job (one of my favorite mark out moments ever), just fantastic

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  36. just to clarify: what are the kind of jokes that one can be sensitive about? or is there nothing off limits?

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  37. No seriously. Look at your window. By whining about a analogy that's somewhat true and humorous he literally ended all domestic violence. I think its fantastic.

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  38. Now this is a stupid comment.

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  39. Adam "Colorado" CurrySeptember 26, 2014 at 12:37 PM

    Bischoff sucked too. Sad thing is this crew was 100x better than the guys doing Raw right now.

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  40. I think it's more about the fact that he came in here and bashed an obviously ridiculous analogy for no other reason but to ensure we knew how above it he was. There's a pompousness to it that no one gets away with in these threads. You want to go shout from the mountain how offended you are by something not meant to be taken the least bit seriously? Go to CNN, Fox News, or somewhere else where everyone has a stick up their assholes.

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  41. I don't know. Maybe you can do a case study or a survey for your Psych 101 class? Might help with the questions.

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  42. Gunther the Nasty LoserSeptember 26, 2014 at 12:50 PM

    Just a point on the Zappa example: That's not entirely accurate about no new Zappa music. He left behind a vault of recordings. His estate employs a full time person who manages it. The Zappa Family Trust is talkative releasing new never before available stuff all the time.

    /big Zappa fan

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  43. Wouldn't that be his wife's job?

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  44. This, I'll admit, was oddly worded.

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  45. Adam "Colorado" CurrySeptember 26, 2014 at 1:07 PM

    Is he the same guy from Grantland? Yeah, he sucks.

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  46. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontSeptember 26, 2014 at 1:16 PM

    You were distracted?!?! DISTRACTED?!?" How dare you not take this seriously and give a Nitro from 1995 your full attention!

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  47. Art Donovan would be better than what we have right now.

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  48. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontSeptember 26, 2014 at 1:19 PM

    I am really loving watching these old Nitros and PPVs in order. It all really does breeze by compared to a RAW today. I'm almost up to Uncensored 96, not looking foward to that main event.

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  49. It's serious business reviewing a cancelled tv show from 19 years ago!

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  50. Meng destroys Kane b/c there can be no other way

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  51. It wouldn't just be Kane. They'd have to loop in Orton and the Big Show just to make it even more boring

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  52. I would pay good money to see Meng vs Orton in a shoot

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  53. Did your wife's entrance music start playing during this match?

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  54. "You might ask why they’d have Sasaki do a clean job on national TV and then put him over Sting for the US title in Tokyo, but really do you need an answer besides “Because WCW”? **"


    Actually, they put Benoit over Sasaki here because Beonoit was going to job to him at the pay-per-view. So it kind of makes sense.

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  55. In fairness, 45 minutes would go by faster than 3 hours.

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  56. OMG 50/50 booking!!

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  57. 9/25 is up now (they renumbered all the episodes), although a lot of people are complaining the entire catalogue is missing so they might not be done yet with streaming devices. They will be soon though (if not already) so your quest is over.

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  58. Just listened to the Corino show. I think the move to bi-weekly is a good choice. Also, the What Ifs were fun.

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  59. Who's the guy with the Russian flag?

    How much does this guy (Khali) weigh?

    Is this guy (Rollins) a wrestler?

    All comments from Donovan if he were around today. :(

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  60. She should have substituted for Reigns. Did you see how she sold that punch? She's a future main eventer.
    too soon?

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  61. I like how most of this post is a flame war. Harkens back to the old days. Not that I want to see this everyday but nostalgia is good every now and then

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  62. Yeah, those arbitrary social norms. Joking about abusive relationships = okay, joking about child molestation = usually not okay, making racist jokes tends to not be okay any more, etc. etc. The most interesting thing to me is how people defend their ability to make certain kinds of comments instead of just thinking for half a second about how maybe their way of thinking might be wrong. It's like when you beat the shit out of your kid, and you spend so much time thinking about all the ways you can make it where the bruises aren't noticeable in public, but you don't stop to think that maybe there's just something wrong with beating your kid. Of course this is just an analogy.

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  63. Agreed, I have been pushing bi-weekly since he came on board. Yah it is a cool concept I hope he keeps up.

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  64. Devin Harris has been suspended for two blog posts.

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  65. "Say Art, who's your pick to win the title tonight at Wrestlemania?"


    "Daniel. Bryan!"

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  66. The HBK/concussion timeline goes like this:
    Oct. 12ish-gets the crap kicked out of him in Syracuse, immediately taken off shows due to his injuries, including post-concussion syndrome (shoot)
    Oct. 22- Gives up IC title to Dean Douglas at IYH 4
    First week of November-starts doing house shows, mostly tags
    Nov. 19-wrestles in first televised match at Survivor Series (wild card match), announcers question if he's "come back too soon", both leading up to and during the match
    Nov. 20-does the collapsing angle during the match with Owen Hart on Raw
    Rest of '95-WWF teases his career might be over (Tell me a Lie video, etc.), while Shawn takes more time off, in part to prepare for Iron Man match
    Jan. 96-Shawn announces he will return at the Rumble, which he wins
    Never minding the "geez, Shawn gets even MORE time off?" backstage aspect, it was a pretty good job of turning a real life situation into a decent angle. House business improved when he came back in January, too.

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  67. That's right, forgot he was back by SS. That was also the debut match for Amhed Johnson I think. Interesting enough concept at the time too with the heels/faces mixed up for it

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  68. No, Ahmed had done a squash or two on Raw in the weeks leading up to Survivor Series. After one of the matches, he had slammed Yokozuna, who had done a waddle-in. Yes, they wasted that on a forgettable episode of Raw.

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  69. Watching Raw is like having se...haaa fuck it !

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  70. I agree. It's fun time to time.

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  71. Can you please put a lofty goal on alls of my statements? You make me sound so impressive

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  72. Thanks for the contribution

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  73. Yup, figured that out when I was reposting the PPV rant for this Sunday.

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  74. What a mighty high horse you ride.

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  75. Prepare for the mom joke...3...2...1...

    Not as mighty as I rode your mother last night.

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  76. Not really. He described the night as "a battle in which WCW scored the ratings win but in reality both sides came out as losers because each side threw everything out at once and both ratings were disappointing."
    As Scott mentioned in an earlier review, Meltzer was very unimpressed about all the hot-shotting going on because of the Monday Night Wars.

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  77. Hey, hey. . . let's not say things we can't take back. :)

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  78. Bischoff was just trying to impersonate Vince in the mic. I thought he was better than Tony.

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  79. Whatever happened to Big Brad Murphy?

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  80. Which makes it harder to answer why I still watch. I started watching in 2002 right after Mania X8 and right before the reign of terror. I don't know of these great times you mention except the occassional old show that I watch.

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  81. There are still some brave people that walked away. Its not that I don't still have a place in my heart for wrestling because I started watching when I began forming basic memories. But after Mae Young giving birth to that hand I said, out loud, "That's it. I'm out." And I never turned back and never gave another dime to the WWE. I know they have their beliefs that they can put out whatever garbage they want and we'll keep eating it out of their hands, but it's time the WWE start getting worried about the network not making them any money because more people are quitting on the product than they want to believe. The numbers don't lie.

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  82. Also, during the Wild Card match - Shawn took a bunch of signature moves (Razor's Edge, Sid's Powerbomb, Owen's Enzuguri) with the impact all focused on his head which contributed to his collapsing the next night on RAW.

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  83. Nope, it's easy to walk away.


    People just take wrestling WAY too seriously. Which isn't healthy.

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  84. Good point. A nice little subtlety (if you can call shots to the head subtle) that added to angle.

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  85. Virgil's Gimmick TableSeptember 27, 2014 at 1:18 PM

    Well I got into wrestling as a little kid in the attitude era, but got WAY into it in the Invasion, so my taste didn't account for much. But I still love that era no matter what anyone says.

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  86. And this wins the internet... until Vince Jordan reverses the decision the following night.

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  87. I actually disagree. He wasn't great, but he was solid enough. Just kind of average.

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  88. Pepe Ruled. He had more charisma than Mongo ever had.

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  89. Man the sound is all weird on this one, cant blame the network though, seems wcw was oberlaying tracks to make up for taping

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