Hello Scott, I'm Daniel Bryan's Mother.
I'm deathly afraid for my son because he worked so hard to reach this point in his career and, now, after only a year or so of making main event money, he's down with a career-threatening neck injury. I'm worried that he hasn't been able to save enough money to make his years in WWE count and, God help me, he ends up like Dynamite Kid.
Please console me and let me know that everything will be ok for my boy.
Wow, what an honor. Well, since the Network has apparently imploded tonight, I have time to answer. First up, wouldn't you call him Bryan and not Daniel? But I'm getting sidetracked here. Clearly this is a legitimate and serious e-mail. However, given that I'm not his doctor, I can't give you a legitimate and serious answer.
Also, aren't you dead? Just curious.
If not, you might want to keep his bedroom maintained, because I don't see him coming back any time soon. And Brie Bella doesn't come cheap.
I believe that it was his father Scott, been dead since April.
ReplyDeleteDid Daniel Bryan's mother kill herself with grief soon after his father died?
ReplyDeleteAlso, this mail was not from Daniel Bryan's mother. Scott is so gullible!
ReplyDeleteStart by disowning your daughter-in-law. For us.
ReplyDeleteIf Daniel Bryan ends up like Dynamite thats means Brie will be getting plenty of beatings and guns to the head.
ReplyDelete...and your point being?
ReplyDeleteAt least she is earning her keep!
ReplyDeletewell normally I would say that's a bad thing but since no one really likes the Bella twins...
ReplyDeleteGod dammit, if I had a nickel for every fake e-mail from the supposed relative of a WWE superstar...
ReplyDelete.. you'd have a dollar?
ReplyDeleteYou went too far.
ReplyDeleteHow will he get on Welfare in the UK?
ReplyDeleteWAIT, WAIT...what about those e-mails from Nigeria? Totally real, right? Because my credit card company isn't so sure.
ReplyDeleteDynamite kid is a terrible human being and not deserving of hero worship.
ReplyDeleteSorry, spellcheck screwed up my mail. The deposit should actually go to me.
ReplyDeleteThat awkward moment when it turns out to actually be Daniel Bryan's mother.
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't from Big Show's mom.
ReplyDeleteor Judy Bagwell
ReplyDeleteOr Shelton Benjamin's mom.
ReplyDeleteIf Bryan has to retire and Brie Bella ends up supporting him I am pretty sure the smarks will either cry or drink themselves to death.
ReplyDeleteD-Bry's dad is dead, not his mom
ReplyDeleteBrie will support him figuratively and literally. She will have to prop him up to have sex.
ReplyDeleteNot JUST a dollar. A CANADIAN dollar!
ReplyDeleteHey, the Missy Hyatte one was real.
ReplyDeleteNo it wasn't. She would have offered to blow all of us.
ReplyDeleteFunny how that's the one thing that everyone focuses on.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget drugged anal raped too
ReplyDeleteman I just lost it at work. I am crying laughing. Will the troll come forward cause this is some high quality stuff. Vince Jordan, Danimal, Xavier I hope you all are taking notes.
ReplyDeleteI could reveal the culprit but that would ruin the fun.
ReplyDeleteDanimal: "Scott, are you okay? You haven't posted in 20 minutes. My stomachs in knots. Jesus, I cannot take this anymore. I'm on my way to Canada."
ReplyDeleteI assumed that it was Danimal.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind the trolling if it was original and/or funny. Those guys play one note over and over and over til I wish Scott would just ban them until they get new and better material.
ReplyDeleteThat was Davey Boy.
ReplyDeleteWhy would Mrs. Bryan need to keep his bedroom maintained if you don't see him coming back to it?
ReplyDeletethen he can take a bow. I can't stop laughing at this.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't think he's trolling.
ReplyDeleteYeah but he did it to his wife too. Not just Davey Boy.
ReplyDeleteIT WAS ME, DAMMIT!
ReplyDeleteIT WAS ME ALL ALONG!
That was Bulldog.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Davey Boy learned that shit from Dynamite.
ReplyDeleteHope your not getting weird looks.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck was Stu teaching people in his dungeon!?
ReplyDeletePlease let it be Caliber.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the Network?
ReplyDeleteCanadian terrorists attacked Titan Towers.
ReplyDelete#Fatbuff.
ReplyDeleteTorture porn.
ReplyDeleteTo pop blood vessels in thier eyes
ReplyDeleteOr Rob and Scott's mom
ReplyDeleteFor once, I think Stu was innocent of the charges.
ReplyDeleteSo it's not just me. I thought my subscription got canceled for some reason (wishful thinking, maybe).
ReplyDeleteYour mom is so ugly that when she was a baby she had to sneak up on her teddy bear.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is so strong she can gargle peanut butter.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan is not 73 years old. Just because he may not be able to be a professional athlete anymore doesn't mean he can't earn a paycheck.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this blurs the line between reality and TV too much to make this line of joking funny. Brie Bella is an annoying actress and bad wrestler. Brianna Garcia, for all anyone knows, is a perfectly nice person.
ReplyDeleteLet's not joke about people deserving death threats, domestic violence and rape in an industry where that shit happens with alarming frequency, yeah?
Because it's getting awfully related to ethics in video game journalism up in here.
Those hosers!
ReplyDeleteWait.. so Daniel Bryan is a gnome and his mother is a troll? What does that make his father?
ReplyDeleteThe Network is working perfectly fine for me.
ReplyDeleteDear Scott,
ReplyDeleteI am also worried about my son. He refuses to eat his lima beans and then throws a tantrum when I threaten to take away his Nintendo 3DS.
Sincerely,
Judy Bagwell
PS Thank you to PrimeTimeTen for allowing me to use his account. Such a nice young man.
A goat. Duh.
ReplyDeleteThey should put Daniel Bryan's Mother on television. Vince could do a live interview with her, like Melanie Pillman!
ReplyDeleteA dead goat.
ReplyDeleteStu obviously had a lot of sex.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I'm all for dark humor but that's a bit...I dunno...real?
ReplyDeleteFucking Gamergate man.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I mean, if it were actually witty or not quite so "real," as you put it, I dunno, maybe it'd be fine, but this was just straight up "Brie Bella is annoying, so it'd be fine and kinda funny if her real life husband beat/raped/killed the woman playing that character." You don't have to actually believe that to make saying it gross and unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteI've said it before (in a response to you I believe) but I'd rather not have this site turn into a place that makes you feel like you need to take a shower after you comment. I think the community has been pretty progressive about racist comments or homophobic comments, it's hardly absurd to extend the same etiquette to 51% of the population.
ReplyDeleteI know we're vaguely sports and comic book related (two areas of interest that are historically uh...testosterone driven) but can we just be the sort of nerd that gets really upset about continuity instead of the sort of nerd that gropes booth babes at Comic-Con?
Probably the worst thing to happen in the domestic United States this year. Just an awful, ugly mess.
ReplyDeleteStu just does not advertise
ReplyDeleteMy son thinks that e-mail is fake-Jim Rome's dad
ReplyDeleteYou spelled outrage wrong :P
ReplyDelete