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The SmarK Rant for Fastlane 2015

The SmarK Rant for WWE Fastlane 2015 – 02.22.15

Live from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & JBL

This show is presented by the WWE Network itself. WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE.

Dolph Ziggler, Ryback & Erick Rowan v. Big Show, Kane & Seth Rollins

Poor Rowan doesn’t even get a babyface pop for his entrance. This would be a good time for a total repackage. Or, you know, just build a time machine and not split up the Wyatts in the first place. Rollins starts with Ziggler and quickly bails off a sunset flip, but walks into a dropkick back in the ring. Rowan comes in and works on the arm, but it’s over to Kane to really ramp up the action. Back elbow gets two for Rowan after some basic stuff, but Big Show comes in and dumps him to take over. Rowan tries a spinkick on the floor, but he is unable to counter the lightning speed of Big Show, and he kicks the post like a total dork instead. Back in, Show works Rowan over while the announcers tell the story of how the babyfaces are constantly abused and beaten up by the Authority and then wonder why they don’t get over as a stars. Rollins comes in and goes after the leg for a bit, and Buff Blockbuster gets two. Big Show with a leglock that goes nowhere, and Rollins walks into a Rowan spinkick to set up the hot tag to Ryback. He reverses the curb stomp into a powerbomb and tries for the Shellshock, but gets distracted by the stooges and Rollins rolls him up for two. Superkick gets two for Rollins. Another Shellshock, but Big Show comes in with a splash and everyone is out. Hot tag to Ziggler and he DDTs Kane for two. And then Show punches him out like a geek and Kane pins him at 12:55. Well, you gotta keep those two strong. Gotta love how everyone in the crowd wants to see Ziggler so they make sure to pin him clean in the middle. **1/4 The Authority beatdown follows, but Randy Orton finally returns and lays them all out with RKOs. Because he’s the real star and Ziggler clearly is not.

Stardust v. Goldust

Dusty and Dustin cut a hell of a promo backstage, as Dustin promises to beat his brother so badly he’ll never want to be Stardust again. I wish he was at that point already because it’s a stupid fucking gimmick. They trade armdrags to start and hit a stalemate, which results in Stardust bailing. Back in, Goldust clotheslines him out again. Back in, Goldust goes for the Shattered Nuts, but Stardust runs away again before getting a foot up on a flying Goldust to take over. He goes to a bodyscissors as the announcers discuss the hot rumor of Cody wearing the makeup even when he’s at home. So…boo? Apparently he’s “living the gimmick”, because we’re just watching a show, you see. Cody keeps working on the midsection while yet another brother v. brother match dies before our eyes. And then Goldust pins him with a crucifix out of nowhere at 8:52. Well that was quite the beating delivered. Ridiculously boring, no action to speak of. DUD I’m assuming they just told the ref to send them home because it was such a shit match, but maybe that really was the finish they came up with, who knows. I’m thinking they’re not gonna get their Wrestlemania match now.

Meanwhile, we get clips of Seth Rollins v. Jon Stewart.

Meanwhile, Stardust attacks his brother and hisses a lot. So yeah, this continues.

WWE tag titles: The Usos v. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro

The Usos dominate Kidd to start, but Cesaro clips Jimmy and works the knee to take over. Kidd’s gear, celebrating both cats and facts, is wonderfully awful. Cesaro with a one-legged swing into a half-crab, and Kidd slingshots in with a legdrop for two. Over to Jey as the crowd is randomly booing something. Cesaro rolls him up for two, but Jey gets the running butt splash in the corner for two. To the top, but Cesaro brings him in with the superplex into Kidd’s flying elbow for two. Kidd with a rollup, but the Usos double-team him and everyone ends up on the floor. Back in, Kidd blocks a flying splash and rolls up Jimmy for two, and the Sharpshooter follows. Jey saves with a superkick and Jimmy gets two off that. And then Kidd hits the fisherman’s neckbreaker and pins Jey to win the titles at 9:45. Well deserved. Unfortunately the match never really got going and there was no real heat segment. Do the agents just not know how to build heat and lead to a climax anymore? **1/2 Although Tyson Kidd lifting the Finn Balor splash counter from NXT is pretty great.

Face To Face Confrontation: HHH v. Sting

I hope we get the highspot of two old guys discussing stuff from 16 years ago that goes over the heads of everyone watching! I love when they do that. And indeed, HHH immediately brings up how Sting went down with the WCW ship and how he helped to sink it. That is certainly a unique interpretation of history. So HHH offers to keep Sting’s legacy alive via the WWE Network and Hall of Fame, as long as he walks away and quits being such a vigilante. Sting wants none of this deal and they fight, and of course HHH immediately kicks his ass. But Sting grabs his bat and, instead of beating on him, points to the Wrestlemania sign instead. And then finally lays him out. This isn’t doing much for me. “Old guys fighting for their legacy” isn’t exactly a compelling storyline, except in WWE-world where getting to the Hall of Fame is the only real goal.

Divas title: Nikki Bella v. Paige

Apparently Paige getting spray-tanned and pranked was the worst week of her life, which means she’s had a pretty damn good life thus far. Paige attacks to start, but gets tossed around on the floor by Nikki, which gets two. Whiplash slam gets two. The racecar sound effects on the replays are REALLY getting on my nerves at this point. It’s the FASTLANE, get it? Paige comes back with clotheslines for two and a low kick for two. Nikki blocks the Rampaige but Paige boots her down for two. They head up and Nikki powerbombs her out of the corner for two. Paige comes back with the crosslock, but Nikki makes the ropes and rolls her up to retain at 5:36. Who is coming up with these shit finishes tonight? *1/2 The crowd was dead silent through the entire match, much like the rest of this show.

Intercontinental title: Bad News Barrett v. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose attacks and sends Bad News running, then pounds away in the corner before getting booted to the floor. Back in, Barrett pounds away in the corner and gets two, and we hit the chinlock. To the floor and Ambrose comes back with a clothesline and DDT back in the ring. To the top, but he misses whatever and manages a small package for two. Flying elbow gets two. Barrett with the Wasteland for two, but Ambrose rolls him up for two. Rebound lariat and Barrett runs away, so Ambrose chases him back in and beats on him in the corner until the ref disqualifies him at 8:07. COME ON. They’re just trolling us now with these terrible finishes. Although if this was NXT that would have given Ambrose the title. Because they actually give a shit about the product there. Total nothing match. **

Speaking of trolling, we get a procession of druids to tease the Undertaker, but it turns out to be Bray Wyatt. I guess that at least confirms that they’re doing the match. This would have been better served on RAW, especially if they weren’t actually delivering Undertaker.

US title: Rusev v. John Cena

Cena takes him down with a headlock, but Rusev throws kicks in the corner and chokes him down, and a leg lariat gets two. That one missed by a lot. Rusev with a corner splash for two, and Cena bails to the apron and gets sent into the railing as a result. Back in, Cena comes back with a dropkick for two, but Rusev gets his own for two. Cena tries the shoulderblocks, but Rusev puts him down with a slam for two. Cena tries to fight back, but Rusev takes him down with a chinlock. Cena comes back with a suplex, but Rusev DDTs him for two. A pair of corner splashes get two. Cena fights back with his usual, but Rusev escapes the FU and superkicks him for two. Uranage gets two. Cena comes back with a DDT for two and the crowd is just not really into this at all. Cena takes him down into a crossface, but Rusev no-sells it and slams him for two. Rusev decides to crush, but Cena counters with the STF and Rusev makes the ropes. FU gets two. Cena goes up, but lands in a powerbomb and the Accolade follows. Cena uses his goofy facials to fight out, but Rusev kicks him in the nuts behind the ref’s back and goes back to it again, and this time the ref stops the match at 18:40. This didn’t really work, but it was fine as the usual John Cena match. *** I don’t get why they didn’t just put Rusev over if that’s the way they wanted to go instead of the cheap ballshot and pass-out finish. But fear not, John Cena will regroup and train his gonads to resist the power of Russia in time to win the title at Wrestlemania.

#1 Contender match: Roman Reigns v. Daniel Bryan

Reigns throws Bryan around outside the ring, but Bryan kicks him down in the corner and goes to work on the legs with a leglock. Reigns punches out of it and blocks a blind charge with a clothesline for two. Reigns throws him around with a couple of suplexes, but Bryan blocks the superman punch with a liver kick. Bryan fires away with kicks in the corner, but Reigns powerbombs him out of there for two. Reigns fires away in the corner, but Bryan takes him down into the Yes-Lock until Reigns makes the ropes and escapes to the floor. Bryan hits him with a pair of dives, but Reigns gets another suplex on the floor and then misses a charge into the stairs. Back in, Reigns blocks a flying Bryan for two, but Bryan counters the spear into a small package for two. Running knee gets two. Bryan throws the kicks, but Reigns no-sells it, so Bryan takes him down into the Yes-Lock again. Reigns powers out of that and hammers him down, and both guys are down. Bryan comes back again with the kicks and sets up for the running knee again, but Reigns counters with the spear right down our throats at 20:05. God, they’re just not gonna give up on this, are they? Pretty rough for the most part, but Bryan worked his ass off to make it pretty good by the end. ***1/4 But that’s it for Bryan, as they’ve decided to sacrifice him once and for all to get this Reigns experiment over. And I don’t think it worked.

The Pulse

Not bad, just boring. Crowd was dead all night and there was nothing I’d call worth going out of your way to see. Some really bad finishes and booking didn’t help matters, but at least we know what Wrestlemania is going to be now. Thumbs in the middle, leaning down.

Comments

  1. Think you really undersold Cody's promo backstage. Thought it was great.


    But yeah, the rest of this was dogshit.

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  2. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-gOs4fCAAAj685.jpg

    this spot a coincidence? yeah okay

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  3. biggest problem I have with the current product is that with all the people the fans enjoy, they always get screwed for guys with a worse reaction. Ziggler should have won. Ambrose should have won. Bryan should have won.
    It doesn't have to be all faces. If rollins had gotten the pin, they would have been fine too instead of kane/show. If you want to give the title to Reigns, have him go full heel on Bryan in that match and let him get legit heat.

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  4. I can't wait for Wrestlemania 31: The Clusterfuck of Epic Proportions.

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  5. I liked the racing sounds for the replays if for nothing else it tells you when to look up if you're bullshitting on your phone. I miss the longer replay sounds during 2000ish RAW for that.

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  6. This is the test of D Bry as a made man; he's about to do the J-O-B to goddamned Sheamus again, but he'll be in demand to prop up a Chicago PPV full of fans ready to breathe fire on Vince's boytoy.

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  7. I agree with most of this review, especially the summary. it was boring.

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  8. Life in the Fast Lane...slowly make you lose your mind...

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  9. At least that would be interesting.

    This will be The Meh of Moderate Indifference.

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  10. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    What's the selling point of WM? Reminds me of 19 with no real main event, except with 2% of the star power.

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  11. This is why I like not watching RAW or Smackdown. Fast Lane was basically just a "RAW before Wrestlemania" to me. Except I have a month to get re-pumped up for a WWE show.

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  12. Wrestlemania: Where John Cena Rises Above Nutshots!

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  13. It's only $9.99, Maggle!

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  14. The selling point of Wrestlemania is that it is Wrestlemania.

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  15. The crowd (or at least the part that was mic'd) started OK, even getting a "Rowan" chant going but seemed to die during the show (not that I blame them).


    Sting pointing to the sign was fine. Sting pointing at least 5 times was not. Then the announcers had to have "Breaking News" later to confirm the match even though HHH audibly agreed.


    Crowd was into Bryan when he led them in the Yes! chants, but his kicks in the corner didn't get nearly the response they used to get. Still more over than Reigns, but this is not the Bryan of 2014. And why would someone who knows "100 submissions" stand in the corner waiting for Reigns to get up rather than slap on another of those whenever Reigns kicked/powered out of one?


    Why should Rusev give Cena a match at Mania when the announcers pushed it as a submission win (it looked to me like Cena was KO'd by the kick, but WWE would never try a ref stoppage, right?), focusing on that over the low blow/Lana distraction?

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  16. Wait till the main event and a bunch of smarks

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  17. That backstage promo was tremendous.

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  18. Reminds me of that scene with the PE Instructor on Beavis and Butthead.

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  19. "KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!!!!"

    Buzzcut ftw

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  20. "We’ve talked about this a bit at the company, quite frankly. And there are two takes on this. First and foremost, wrestlers and wrestling personalities have to stop just giving away their story for free. Their legacy is what should now be making them money, if they are out of the ring. At KC we pay and pay fairly to record and sell a part of that creator’s legacy. Why the hell are they giving it away for free for two hours on Joe Fungul’s podcast? An appearance to plug a product is customary of course, just like being on Letterman for 10 minutes to sell your film. But doing a shoot interview for free for two hours on a podcast? Guys, you’re killing your market. Seriously. They collectively need to get together and stop this free shit. They deserve to make a living off of the legacy they’ve built."



    Sean Oliver is a douche.

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  21. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:39 PM

    They're really testing that out this year. How far back would you have to go for a weaker draw than this year?

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  22. Cody does a great job with the character, but it's not getting a reaction,

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  23. Wrestlemania is not a bunch of smarks. It is mainstream people out to party.

    The backlash, if any, will wait until the following night's RAW.

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  24. Bryan's corner kicks seem really stupid when the crowd is silent.

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  25. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:40 PM

    Sorry Cynical Scott, but the Dust Bros. match was NOT a DUD. It wasn't great or anything, but it was serviceable, and Dustin had some great psychology going on there. Cody too, despite the annoyingness of the gimmick.

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  26. For a stadium show? Maybe Miz/Cena?

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  27. I liked it better than Scott did but this show didn't need to exist. Here's how you can tell it didn't work:

    Six man tag: to set up Orton vs. Rollins
    Goldust vs. Stardust: to set up a rematch
    HHH vs. Sting: to set up a match
    Barrett vs. Ambrose: to set up a rematch
    Cena vs. Rusev: to set up a rematch
    Reigns vs. Bryan: to set up the main event of Wrestlemania

    Only the Tag Team Titles and Divas were there as stand alone matches. Back in my day, this was called a month's worth of Raw. Now it's free, assuming you aren't loyal to the Network and paid for it in advance.

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  28. Alright, now I'm rooting for Reigns/Lesnar to be the shittiest main event at WrestleMania ever.

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  29. Well, that sounds terrible.

    I think Bryan is still a main event wrestler to be slotted back in when reigns fails. He's a more over bret hart.

    I think ill stick to nxt and maybe watch the odd WWE ppv match. Wrestlemania doesn't sound like it will be fun at all.

    At least Caesaro and Kidd won I guess.

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  30. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:41 PM

    Finn Balor debuting then (my guess) will put a kink in that. Hopefully.

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  31. It was boring as hell.

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  32. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:42 PM

    It's the worldwide core audience.

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  33. At least Jon Stewart can cut a better promo than most of the roster.

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  34. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:42 PM

    Boring is * territory, not DUD. It's elementary!

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  35. Considering Reigns needs to be carried by a better worker and Brock isn't known for carrying lesser workers... yikes.

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  36. Why do you get a star for being boring?

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  37. The main event of Wrestlemania is going to have the stadium chanting "Daniel Bryan" while Reigns looks confused and Brock has a shit eating grin on his face.


    I made this prediction after the Rumble.

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  38. What's the current worst Mania championship match ever? Taker/Sid?

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  39. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:44 PM

    DUD is nothing of value. This match had some valuables, IMO, as I already illustrated.

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  40. I'm not one to argue over star ratings because I don't give a shit, but any stars the match earned, it lost again to the confusing 2 and a silent 3 pin finish.

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  41. So, here's the thing - this was Vince saying that we're getting Roman Reigns, whether we like it or not. And I'm fine with it, because the only way this one's going to end is if they push him all the way and we see if it works or not. I'd much rather see them push the shit out of a newer guy strong and have it fail than have a bunch of stop and start booking where no one gets over.


    Is he the wrong guy? Is it too soon? Who knows? I tend to think so, but at least someone dropped the hammer and said this is the guy for once.


    You know what it actually reminds me of? Orton going over Benoit. Benoit giving him the big handshake at the end. Orton wasn't ready for that push, and Reigns probably isn't ready for his. But it worked out to some extent in the end.

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  42. Miz/Cena and it's not even close.

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  43. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:45 PM

    Ref fucked that one up, I believe.

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  44. Yeah, Solo is right.

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  45. Awesome Milhouse reference

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  46. Stardust was funny the first week, tired by the 4th. By now he could just pull a bunny and disappear and no one would give a shit or notice.

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  47. don't agree with that the crowds can shit on matches pretty easily at wm but i guess that depends on location and if reigns/lesnar starts stinking they will turn on it.

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  48. I think I might be the only person alive that really loved Orton's face run in 2004.

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  49. Totally on the ref but it still hurt the match.

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  50. A guy who was dumb enough to charge into a guy whose finisher is a Spear? Nearly as dumb as Mercury trying to attack Orton by jumping from the second rope.


    Bryan is more over than Reigns but is not nearly as over as he was last year. When he leads the Yes! chants, he gets a wide response; but listen to the response for the corner kicks (aren't those supposed to get Yes! chants, too?) There will be some Bryan chants, but I don't think it will be anything like the Rumble the last two years.

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  51. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:47 PM

    That show had the Rock, though. Next month you get nothing different than tonight other than Brock.... And Sheamus.

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  52. one big thing someone said on the panel: a wwe.com poll said that bryan beat reigns by 64% on who should get the title match

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  53. Fuuuuuck that match.

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  54. Oh fark you.

    Make a choice. Review or not.

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  55. "A guy who was dumb enough to charge into a guy whose finisher is a Spear? Nearly as dumb as Mercury trying to attack Orton by jumping from the second rope."


    And what does that have to do with the price of eggs?

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  56. Some votes actually swung Reigns' favor late, then. Assuming it's the poll I'm thinking of, Bryan was winning by 80% (90% vs. 10%) at one point.

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  57. I never saw that match, but it always receives a ton of hate...Why?

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  58. so final would be like 82-18. not a huge difference

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  59. I see DUD as simply an unentertaining, bad match. If it also has nothing of value, you get into negatives.

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  60. It was a bad match and a poorly worked match considering their feud. Just a boring match that the crowd didn't care about

    Triple H acknowledged it sucked on his DVD.

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  61. Well clearly I did review the show.

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  62. It's boring and it comes immediately after the greatest match of all time.

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  63. Roman is going to try to do the sarcastic grin, but his nerves will shine through, as always.

    And then Brock is going to bitch slap him, and the crowd is going to go fucking NUTS,

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  64. The Triple Threat with Cena/Edge/Big Show is between them.

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  65. There was no value to me clarifying that.

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  66. Like I said, it comes after the greatest match of all time.

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  67. it's really boring, and it gets shit on extra hard for being the main event when UT/Shawn 1 went on two matches beforehand

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  68. Lets not forget Hogan/Sid.

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  69. Brock is going to maul him, and Reigns is going to win a horrible, horrible, dud of a match with a bullshit manuever out of nowhere. Like his stupid fucking jumping punch is going to stop a guy who has been LEGIT punched in the head by CAIN VELASQUEZ. Please.

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  70. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:52 PM

    Shitty Ambrose finish #355252 pissed me off more than anything, it's clear he's just a whacky stunt man to amuse them like Ziggler. Complete fucking waste.


    But come ON...I hate that Reigns won as much as anyone, and this is gonna be one of the lamest Manias ever, but that main event was not "rough for the most part". Bryan may have carried it on his back but it was a damn fine match.

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  71. Upvoted 1 million times for truth. This is how you define 'filler'.

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  72. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:53 PM

    I'm gonna laugh my ass off if they built up Bray to put over Taker in his retirement match.

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  73. bobby said championship

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  74. YYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!!

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  75. Did he acknowledge that part of it was his fault?

    Bet not.

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  76. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Negatives means stuff was actively insulting or detrimental.

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  77. Prepare to laugh

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  78. Yeah he did.

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  79. Did he book the match to have a stupid DQ rule?

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  80. yup, Reigns is going to take all of Brock's offense and then RISE ABOVE with a spear and a superman punch to win it. Maybe he'll even POWER OUT of the F5 just to piss everyone off

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  81. Come-on there is only one reply to this - Hogan / Yokozuna in 21 seconds at WM 9.

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  82. I loved how during the Old Men Arguing bit, they made out that Triple Fucking H was the icon of WWE. Not Hogan or Austin or one of those guys.....Triple H!

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  83. The move that killed John Cena....the Undertaker....HHH....but ROMAN THE CHOSEN shall not be deterred!

    Bloody hell.

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  84. Orton was more than ready for that spot, the booking is what failed him.

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  85. basically said this myself in the other show thread. Truth.

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  86. THE ROMAN EMPIRE STARTS HERE - Maggle Cole

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  87. Revisionist HHHistory at its finest.

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  88. Main event sucked. Bryan did most of the work and still lost. Roman was sloppy and looked like he'd rather be at the Oscars with The Rock instead of fighting in a 20 minute match. There was just no reason to care esp. if Roman didn't care

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  89. Pissed at the finish to the main event. But it was predictable. Oh well. We're getting Reigns, and will have to deal with it. Thanks Vince.

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  90. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 10:58 PM

    He did? From what I remember they were portraying it as this epic clash that was so amazing b/c it was his last title match.

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  91. Forget Fast Lane to Mania, the Reigns Train is on the rocket to the Moon!


    CHOOT-CHOOT!

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  92. How do you explain the raw after wrestlemania each year if the crowd isn't smarks?

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  93. Somewhere Batista is like "Why did I get fucked over last year? I told them to deal with it before it was cool!"

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  94. At this point, I hope giving Reigns the title kills the house show circuit dead.

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  95. I just can't wait for the epic Reigns/Kane feud in the months after Wrestlemania...

    Since they don't really give a shit about Smackdown, why can't they just re-split the brands (I never thought they should have mixed them or merged them to begin with) and just send over the guys Vince has no faith in to headline the "B" show. That way Cena/Roman/Orton/Ryback can fight Show/Kane/Rollins and Rusev/Bray and you can have Ambrose/Dolph/Bryan/Cesearo and whoever entertain us Internet nerds...
    I know that is kinda the point of NXT- but why not take the experiment to the next leverl?

    Because the constant obvious dislike of such a huge portion of the fan are will eventually hurt the company pretty badly

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  96. If they book Reigns/Lesnar to go more than 15 minutes, they are asking for trouble.

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  97. I can't wait to be part of the fan revolt during the WM main event!

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  98. No on his latest DVD he definitely acknowledges it. Says he wasn't happy with his performance, says he should have given it a better match, thought it was dumb that it was DQ rule and generally admits they were outclassed by Shawn/Taker.

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  99. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Not to mention it was a HORRIFIC let down given it's build and they're abilities with one another.

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  100. He popped out of a cake.

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  101. It's still real to you damn it!

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  102. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 11:01 PM

    It's not the worst match by any means, but my god what a horrible letdown it was considering how well built that feud was.

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  103. HHH is a fucking genius. Every time he cuts a promo, smart fans treat it like a shoot.

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  104. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    Do us proud man...do us proud.

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  105. Worked for Marilyn Monroe and that chick in Under Siege, why not?

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  106. First time I saw tits.

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  107. You just explained it. The mainstream fans enjoy Wrestlemania and drown out the smarks. Only the hardcore fans go on to RAW the next night.

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  108. Theberzerker, #HUSSAPPROVEDFebruary 22, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL.........*hernk herrrrrrnk*

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  109. They're doing so for the purposes of the storyline.

    I am amazed at the anger over the use of an arbitrary word like icon.

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  110. I'll be there chanting Daniel Bryan the whole time!

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  111. Exactly what Vince and Dunn were doing after Reigns got the pin fall. I bet they came at the same time too, Harlequin-porn-style.

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  112. You not going will send a louder message.

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  113. He does have a point, though....

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  114. They had Bryan V Roman as the People's Championship on the Super Card game and DB won pretty resoundingly (Not as bad as Brock killed Rollins last time out, but still convincingly)

    Vince must literally be the only person in the world who thinks WM is not going to be an biblical level disaster

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  115. At the time I loved it. I was a huge Orton fan in 2003-2004 despite him being a bad guy. Now he's turning face?! Hell yeah!

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  116. Do they not remember how badly the fans shit on Lesnar vs Goldberg? And that wasn't even a main event. Those who forget history....

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  117. This will be different. at least Brock will get a mega pop.

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  118. Not to mention, in the WWE Universe, Lesnar took one of Big Show's punches and still murdered him afterward.

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  119. Already bought my ticket months ago. Plus I've got a whole weekend planned.

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  120. Roman Reigns wil have the best mentor in the world to help him deliver a really, really negative Wrestlemania reaction.

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  121. And then the match will start and it'll be so boring that the only pop you'll hear is the air coming out of the place.

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  122. HHH calls himself an icon?! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS, IS THAT A BIRRRD?! LIKE THE DODO BIRD, AN EXT--.....SPECIES THAT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE?!

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  123. We hate these bluuuuuurrrrred liiiiines

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  124. So that's what AJ is being punished for now!

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  125. Actually, that will be the sound of me farting out the nacho cheese I ate all night.

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  126. Always wondered.. is your avatar Shane from Eastbound?

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  127. It's so tremendous that on a PPV where Reigns beats Bryan to go on to face Brock for the strap that people are angriest at HHH calling himself an icon to further a storyline.

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  128. Much like we begged for a double kip-up in a theoretical Rock/HBK match, I hope they do a spot where they both flip off the crowd.


    Hope they got Austin on speed-dial to Stunner them both and send everyone home happy.

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  129. Is Lana eligible for the US presidency? Because she gets my vote for 2016.

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  130. Not to mention, Ziggler jobbing again and Ambrose looking like a moron.

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  131. Hindsight being 20/20, if they would have kept the streak alive last year, you could do Reigns/Taker and Brock/Bryan this year and satisfy everyone.

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  132. There are some lines you don't cross. You of all people should know that, Macklin, in your line of work.

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  133. Macklin. You son of a bitch.

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  134. Niles just discovered his couple's therapist is sleeping with his wife after they just accidentally jumped into bed together.


    I love this show.

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  135. This was basically just a three hour Wrestlemania advertisement. Lesnar/Reigns will be a trainwreck and not at all the clash of the titans Vince thinks it will.

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  136. I feel like I can't be the only person to say this, but Dean Ambrose is legitimately what they think PG Steve Austin would be, which is...Bug Bunny. He's just full of hilarious hijinks and non-sequitars

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  137. "Can't believe Piper and Hogan are calling themselves icons while Benoit is having **** matches every week"-somebody, somewhere in 1997.

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  138. Well it was a free show. Not a bad idea making it a WrestleMania advertisement.

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  139. Ziggler eating a pin to Kane in 2015 when Erick Rowan is a part of the team and clearly going nowhere because of course.

    Ambrose with another weak and stupid finish to a match because of course.

    Bryan gets jobbed out and no longer in the main event over a guy who gets no reaction at all besides boos because of course.


    This same kind of shit used to be said pretty routinely for wcw too.

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  140. Bugs won his feuds.

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  141. Yeah, well everyone already knows that they're fucking up the present WWE. But now they're totally rewriting history as well. Brock/Reigns at WrestleMania 31? Well that stinks for sure. But telling us that we preferred HHH over Austin or Rock? That's a whole different level of shit.

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  142. I agree with you Scott about the Goldust vs. Stardust match too. not only did they both stink it up in the ring, the referee screwed up the count at the end of the fight. everything about it was sad

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  143. god, you're right. Ambrose is Daffy Duck then

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  144. Worse than all that is that dastardly Triple H being the first wrestler to present himself as an icon.

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  145. "But telling us that we preferred HHH over Austin or Rock? That's a whole different level of shit."

    This literally did not happen.

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  146. We rewatched Taker/Sid a couple weeks ago. It's badness is overrated.

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  147. I hope Daniel Bryan pulls a CM Punk and quits tomorrow before RAW.

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  148. Yeah. Making main event money sucks ass!

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  149. He's got to job to Sheamus at Mania first....FELLA!

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  150. Its cool though, I remember Austin getting absolutely no reaction at all at no way out of Texas before WM14. They'll be fine.

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  151. The show needed more ballshots.

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  152. Constantly being disrespected and devalued by management sucks worse.

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  153. Shit on the list of wrestlers who have been called icon Triple H is not offensive at all to me. And this isn't rewriting history. HHH has been cutting promos saying he was better than Austin and Rock since 1998...while feuding with those guys. It's bizarre how much issue people take with it anytime HHH Is referred to as a big star.

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  154. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieFebruary 22, 2015 at 11:16 PM

    advertisements have to make you want to watch the product

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  155. True. That crowd was popping HUGE for Savio Vega. Good thing Vince knew better than we did and gave us what we really wanted, even though we didn't know it at the time.

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  156. Because he pinned Booker T.

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  157. I don't know. Personally, I think a killer show before the biggest show of the year would get a lot of the people watching for free to subscribe.

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  158. Why? They obviously don't want him for the main event, and his current gimmick is perfect for a crows pleasing midcarder.

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  159. You said "honestly", so I thought I could trust you.

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  160. It's actually pretty good.

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  161. Thought Moneyball was close to great, but above average.

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  162. I guess you're still cool with trying to "cure" gay people. Kudos.

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  163. Apt Pupil was a great movie.

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  164. I don't even think all that highly of Jay Briscoe as a worker either. I was at an ROH live event where the Age of the Fall had abducted Mark Briscoe and trotted him out on the stage to taunt Jay in the ring. Rather than chase after his brother, Jay took time to get into the face of a smart-ass heckler fan in the front row. Took me out of the moment, and showed me that Jay isn't smart enough to stay in character when the cameras are on.


    I was really high on the Briscoes back in 2006-2007, but their routine main event formula was totally burned out by 2009 and the fact that they're still on top in ROH now kind of makes my head hurt.

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  165. "Mean" Dean AndrewsFebruary 23, 2015 at 7:27 AM

    Your Straw Man-Fu is weak.

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  166. Nope, just keeping it real.

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  167. Mike Nichols was a great pick. I also think they should get rid of In Memoriam since it just seems to cause discord

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  168. I now have an image of Ali victory dancing over his wifes unconscious body.

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  169. "Mean" Dean AndrewsFebruary 23, 2015 at 7:56 AM

    Your idea of real is to directly compare homosexuality and pedophilia as being comparable and equal. Which is as offensive to homosexuals as it is to those victims of child abuse who have had their idea of normal healthy sex corrupted.

    Stupid on every level.

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  170. To be fair, the chants for "This is Awesome" for Kidd/Cesaro could be considered winning by default, since they were pretty much the only thing on this show that even approached "awesome."

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  171. Not sure how you can think that pedophile is a learned habit. You're born that way. Sending them to get "cured" is a waste of money. They're always going to be attracted to adolescents. They need to be constantly monitored so they don't act on their urges. Its a pretty black and white issue. It's not disrespectful to gay people. Gays, like straights and like pedophiles, are born that way. Sorry, bro.

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  172. I'm sorry,gotta go with Dougie on this one. Using the phrase "Social Justice Warriors" makes you sound like an idiot. It's pretty much only used by people who think we should send death/rape threats to the bad lady that said GTA is violent and tried to steal Murica's freedom.
    I'm not saying you're a gamer,although you memorized the name of a cheat code book author,but you're willingly associating yourself with known douchebags by using the term.
    Sort of like how I'm not a date rapist so I don't wear pink polos. Not everyone who wears them is bad,just 99.8% of them are.
    Do you really want to be seen as part of the "ethics in journalism" neckbeard crowd?

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  173. "Mean" Dean AndrewsFebruary 23, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    "Not sure how you can think that pedophile is a learned habit. You're born that way. "


    Not sure how you can think that something abnormal would be gained through birth rather than through experience. You're not born that way.


    Consensual straight or gay sex is a normal thing. Pedophilia is not a sexual preference, it is a fetishisation. To compare the fetishisation of the young with being gay, in any way, is massively disrespectful and ignorant.


    Your entire post and the one before it are just your ill-informed opinions being shared as facts. Consider reading up on the 'victim to abuser cycle' in all regards, including but not restricted to pedophilia, before continuing to be so wrong on this.


    Sorry, bro.

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  174. That perception is your burden to bear, not mine. The term "SJW" existed long before this video game silliness came to the forefront, and it encompasses a litany of causeheads, radicals, armchair revolutionaries, prevaricators and whining leftist malcontents, professional and amateur alike, well beyond simple misandric feminism. So if by "one of those" you mean a decidedly ordinary man who rolls his eyes at furious Tumblrinas and self-avowed black bloc "Smash Capitalism"/"Outlaw Whiteness" ne'erdowells and their hypocritical foaming-at-the-mouth rage at their poor precious hurt feelings or unfortunate circumstances (eg: burger flippers demanding to be paid more than most cops I know), then yeah, guilty as charged.

    Pertinent to the original topic, I have no problem at all with anybody choosing to not patronize RoH due to Jay Briscoe's vocal support of, shall we say, traditional values. Frankly it seems he's being a jerk about it, and there's nothing commendable or defensible about that. That said, he is free to speak and think as he so desires, and RoH is free to employ him and book him as they see fit. If you don't like it, well, see above. It's just like with these assholes suing bakeries because they won't bake a cake for a gay wedding. If they want to be homophobic, fine, then don't give them your business, find another bakery, find another wrestling promotion, etc. Suing is a dick move; you don't try to destroy somebody's livelihood because you disagree with them on social issues.

    And if we ever reach a point where, in professional wrestling of all entertainment mediums, characters and performers have to be vetted and pre-approved for the sake of not offending the sensibilities of your modern day hypersensitive United Colors of Benetton-addled roaring bores and hustlers of social discord, then we might as well pack it in and watch the lions devour zebras on PBS for all that'll be left of our favored art form.

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  175. It was a joke dude.

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  176. Seems about right. Match was slightly below average. 2 stars, fits.

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  177. 4 stars? Reigns had a great match? If anything, it was OBVIOUS Bryan was carrying the entire thing.

    Reigns was just following orders and was gassed halfway through the match.

    Sorry, but DB knew what to do, knew how to wake up the crowd and generally looked right at home in the top spot. Reigns just happened to be in the ring with him.

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  178. Sting in 1997 isn't the Sting of 2015. That's common knowledge. And who would care about being TNA champion? Sting was just getting paid. I certainly don't blame him for anything there.

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  179. We should all do our jobs as lazily as possible. Got it.

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  180. TNA is a sinking ship and everyone knows it. The 5 people that watch didn't care what Sting was doing anyway.

    Way to change the point, chief!

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  181. yeah i remember the longer hair middle part thing was in style mid 90's. like the joey Lawrence and shawn on boy meets world type of haircut. spiked hair was out and sting was just trying to stay with the times. Same reason he killed the rat tail look in late 80's

    ReplyDelete

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