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WWF Superstars: February 2, 1997

Joe Klunk: The Headbangers, hot wax and vomit...I'm just at a loss at who those segments were supposed to appeal to.

After a look back at last night’s Shotgun (apropos since that show needs a blast to the temple), JIM ROSS and JAMES E CORNETTE welcome us back to the Cajundome in Louisiana for the second week in a row! You can rest assured, Joe Klunk, and all concerned viewers, that this show will NOT feature any wrestlers vomiting on any other wrestlers. Sunday Mornings wouldn’t stand for it.


VADER (with Paul Bearer) vs. CED MANN

Ross figures Vader might be suffering from a Shotgun Headache, which would be darn impressive seeing as how this was taped 2 weeks ago. This is Ced’s WWF debut, and there’s something decidedly unfair about pairing him with Vader. Some newcomers get vignettes, and they’re fed the likes of Salvatore Sincere, but this guy, unworthy of a package, is forced to do battle with a former WCW champion. Of course, that would be a hell of a way to make a name for yourself, but Ced Mann is unprepared for the challenge, eating a Powerbomb, and Vaderbomb en route to the loss at 1:27. DUD

KEVIN KELLY requests an interview with The Man, but not Ced Mann. Damn it Cedd – I care, even if no one else does! Bearer screams about the Final Four, which draws interest from MANKIND. Mankind starts muttering that it should be a final five, because he wants a shot at the title too. Not getting any attention, he starts ripping out his hair and throwing a tantrum.

Speaking of vignettes ... BLACKJACK MULLIGAN stands over a fire pit out in the old west, and guarantees the Blackjacks will ride again. Blackjack Lanza’s only 62 years old, how can this go wrong? Unless of course they’re planning to create new Blackjacks, but that would be silly.

For god knows what reason, someone on the production team who is clearly in need of a mental health check, replays the entire Savio / Jesse James match from last night.

ABISMO NEGRO vs. EL HIJO DE PERRO AGUAYO

Abismo is right up Vince’s alley, at least as far as Mexican wrestlers go, looking like a human transformer. I need this guy on RAW, just to hear Vince scream “HE’S MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!” Aguayo Jr. is all of 17 years old here, and absolutely looking the part. Negro hits the young guy with a top rope elbow, and hits a clothesline that sends referee PEPE CASA into deep concern. An airplane spin is countered into an armdrag, and Aguayo sends Negro sliding to the outside of the ring, right on his face. With Negro stunned, Aguayo hits tope suicida! Back in, Negro fails to sell any of that impact, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner. A senton misses with some serious force (seriously, did he just break his ass?), and Aguayo hits the top rope double stomp for 2. Negro tries a powerbomb, but Aguayo rolls forward and scores the pin at 2:12. This was just a bunch of moves. 1/2*

MARC MERO and SABLE are back in the locker room getting ready for Mero’s upcoming match against the Undertaker. He’s pumped ... in fact, he’s ready to go “WILLLLLD!”

Hanging out in the Gorilla position, THE UNDERTAKER promises a new age of darkness. Oh.

MARC MERO (with Sable) vs. THE UNDERTAKER

Mero makes the mistake of turning his back on the Undertaker, and he attacks from behind. A blind charge misses, and Mero throws his quick right hands. Taker stops that nonsense with a head slam to the buckle, and he goes Old School as we head to commercial.

Sable’s shaking her fists in support of Mero like she’s got a set of maracas (in her hands). Unfortunately for her enthusiasm, Taker is beating the piss out of the former executive vice president of WCW Prime. A quick clothesline knocks the Taker down for 2, but Taker turns it right back in his favor with a double handed chokeslam into the corner. Sable jumps on the apron, just in time for Taker to throw Mero into her where they meet head to head. Sable cries, and with tears streaming down her face, we take our final commercial break. Dudes, we just HAD one!

While we were away, apparently the referee has decided to stop the match temporarily while Mero checks on his lady. I’m ... fairly sure that’s not in the rule book. It’s a good thing the wrestlers don’t have a union, that’s a grievance waiting to happen. Taker yanks Mero back to the apron, and immediately knocks him off again into the guardrail. Mero stumbles back in, where Taker continues his assault. Mero looks to his boxing skills, and after 2 punches, Undertaker kicks him in the face. A scoop slam goes ignored because Sable’s bent over the ring apron, and Mero clotheslines Taker to the floor. A plancha is caught, and the Undertaker rams him into the ringpost. Sable starts kicking at Taker’s ribs, which just serves to piss him off, and he starts to stalk the future Playmate. Mero dives in with a chop block, and both guys get counted out at 8:37. I find it fascinating that after doing absolutely nothing to protect Mero throughout the match, the bookers decided a double countout would undo all the damage of the previous 8 minutes of ass-kicking. For kicks, Taker clotheslines and tombstones Mero on the floor, lest he still have anything resembling credibility left. *1/2


Another breezy show, amongst my favorites to recap week after week. Aside from the bizarre decision to further shunt Mero down the card, we got some more quality stuff out of Mankind, a couple of moderate luchadores, and a threatened return of Blackjack Mulligan to a weakened tag-team division. RAW tomorrow’s been hyped as a Royal Rumble Replay, with the Rumble and Title matches airing in full. Could this be the easiest week of recapping ever? Or will the pay-per-view companies force Vince to be creative and air fresh content? TUNE INTO NITRO TO FIND OUT!

Comments

  1. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 7, 2015 at 11:49 PM

    More random thoughts: I'm reading a piece about John DeLorean, as in "you built a time machine and put in in a DeLorean" John DeLorean. Question: why would you set up your factory in Belfast in the early 80s? That would be like trying to start a car company and putting you plant in Kabul or Bagdad. And it's not like the UK is known for making reliable cars to begin with.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I was in SF last June, my wife and I saw some black chick pissing on the sidewalk while waiting for the bus.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 7, 2015 at 11:57 PM

    Ah, that's right. I remember seeing a doc about the whole thing and couldn't remember the details.

    That ended up being a losing proposition for everyone involved. And for the record, the DeLorean was a bad car. Overpriced, underpowered, unreliable... it's a shitbox, but a cool shitbox because it was in BTTF.

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  4. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 8, 2015 at 12:09 AM

    The majority of the book focuses on his Christianity and how it has impacted different aspects of his life. He only touches on wrestling briefly throughout the book. Not many backstage stories in this one.

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  5. I was at that show! One of the last RAWs in Calgary, in fact.

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  6. Gonna watch the greatest faction special, apprently it goes backward because DX is first

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  7. This pbp guy on Booker T's ROW sounds just like Tony Schiavone.

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  8. Harvey Whippelman: "Degeneration X, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Road Dogg, Shawn Waltman, Bad Ass...THAT sent WWE back into the strasosphere."

    And then they move on lie nothing, wow

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  9. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:20 AM

    It used be in this country that only normally rich dudes, as opposed to obscenely rich dudes, owned teams, and they needed a little extra cash to help build a new place. Really, they didn't NEED it when in most cases the old stadium/arena was just fine, but that's not the point. These days, with the Buffalo Bills just being sold for $1.6 billion and the L.A. Clippers (the joke of the NBA for my entire life) selling for $2 billion, people realize that a: they can afford to pay for that shit themselves, and b: a new stadium doesn't need to cost a billion dollars.

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  10. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:21 AM

    See also: Scott Hall.

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  11. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:21 AM

    East, bitch!

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  12. Go to sleep

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  13. Not a barksdale fan I take it.

    I noticed the seasons start out slow (sort of a feeling out process) and then it gets better as I know whos who.

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  14. Forgotten DX moment from this special: Vince "winning" the corporate Rumble only to have Chyna's music hit

    I remember seeing that on TV, the world was stoked to see her whip his ass

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  15. We believe in Nakamura almighty
    Creator of swag and Yeaoh
    We believe in the Boma Ye
    His greatest weapon, vanquishing many
    He was made of the New Japan dojo
    Under Hiroshi Tanahashi he was pinned
    He suffered, jobbed, and lost his championship
    After four months he rose again to reclaim his title
    He ascended to the stratosphere and is seated at the right hand of Jado and Gedo
    He will Boma Ye again to judge those who are not worthy of the Intercontinental Title
    We believe in Nakamura
    The Church of Swagsuke, The Covenant of Strong Style,
    The ability to kick out at 2.999
    And the resurrection of the flying armbar
    YEAOH!!!

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  16. Cornette's an idiot. He talks big, but can't execute anything and just makes everything terrible. He almost killed ROH dead and Kevin Steen kept it alive practically single-handedly. The Cornette era of ROH was the *worst* wrestling I've ever seen. The Headbangers under masks, guys winning by ether rags, Mike Mondo and QT Marshall (both super nice guys but not ready for prime time as far as working a match), Davey Richards as the star of the company...it was just soooooooo bad.

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  17. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:30 AM

    Oh, that sucks.

    The guy that owns my beloved Colorado Avalanche (and the Denver Nuggets and St Louis Rams) also owns a EPL team, can't remember which one. But fuck that scumbag and his Wal-Mart money.

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  18. Since your spellcheck is a vengeful bastard...FIRST!

    I remember seeing that Taker/Mero match, but not the rest of this show. Taker and Mero sounds about as good as I remember it being. Not very.

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  19. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:31 AM

    EAST COAST!

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  20. He was really lame compared to his incredible WCW stuff.

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  21. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 8, 2015 at 12:33 AM

    My eyes are painfully tired but my consciousness isn't ready to sleep.

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  22. I'm drunk and eating pizza rolls, skipping around the 20 best factins

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  23. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 8, 2015 at 12:35 AM

    I'm full and tired and sore. Dropped a damn hedgetrimmer on my foot. Don't do that. It hurts much bad.

    ReplyDelete
  24. He's the largest shareholder in Arsenal. The US owners of EPLs have done pretty poorly to be honest. Arsenal have built a really good new stadium and they are pretty well debt free, but the team has been under-invested in and hasn't won the league in decade. When they really get shown up is the Champions League (the European competition) where they keep getting knocked out in the last 16.

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  25. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:35 AM

    I'm drunk and killing Hockenheimring in the F1 game. One week until the real season starts.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You don't strike me as a fix-it type, better to just sit

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  27. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKm0cj7vl2k

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  28. The sad part is, they brought "God's Punishment" back.


    Granted, he's jobbing left and right (ate a JayDriller in about 1:30 a few weeks back) but still.

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  29. Clark O'BrienMarch 8, 2015 at 12:36 AM

    Edge's facial expressions when he was trying to look angry or crazy.

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  30. I am also an RD Evans fan. Truth...I came around on him after that "unsanctioned" show they did where it was "run" by Truth. There are like an hour of promos on that disc of him getting people to come to his show and they're all hilarious.

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  31. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 8, 2015 at 12:37 AM

    Nah dude I'm awesome at doing fix it shit as long as I've got a boss telling me what to do. Give me a task and wind me up and watch me go. I'm great at grunt work.

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  32. Your foot disagrees

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  33. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 8, 2015 at 12:38 AM

    My foot fucking bleeds lol. One mistake I made in an otherwise quality day of fix it shit!

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  34. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 8, 2015 at 12:39 AM

    It's cool I don't even like this toe.

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  35. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:39 AM

    Generally speaking they don't do to well with the teams they own here, they just look at them as an investment property. Doesn't matter if the team is any good, in a few years they'll just sell it for a huge profit. The teams that do well are the ones that have been owned by the same people for many years.

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  36. Doctor FunkopolisMarch 8, 2015 at 12:40 AM

    If only Mero had the Badd Blaster with him....

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  37. I thought the 3rd go round was pretty funny, especially the constant shilling. I approve of self-aware shilling.

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  38. Randy Lerner has written off about £120m on Aston Villa in a few years and is now trying to sell the club to some other momey mark.

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  39. Christ, I was at that RAW, worst show I can remember

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  40. I can understand using him as a jobber or doing heel promo work; he's a very nice guy and I imagine he's easy to work with. But he's just not ready yet to work longer matches, which Cornette would book him for.

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  41. I forgot the 97 Hard Foundation started with Bret straight up interrupting an Owen/Davey match asking them to stop fighting and join him because he needed help, they stop the match and hug and then they're a faction haha

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  42. Who are they to doubt Bret?

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  43. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 12:49 AM

    "Money Mark" is how I describe Terry Pegula, the guy that owns the Buffalo Sabres and Buffalo Bills. He actually wants to try to make them better but he has no fucking idea what he's doing. When he bought the Sabres they were a halfway decent team, now they're they joke of the NHL. I have to see how the following season plays out before I can say what he will do with the Bills, he only bought them 6 months ago.

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  44. Example: HB-Shizzle

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  45. Hindsight being 20-20, I still wouldn't have turned Austin since it just ended up being a big wrench in everything else that happened to the WWF in 2001. Yet still, you're right, Austin absolutely slayed it in that role as the paranoid semi-comic heel. Ironically, he did so well in that character that it almost turned him face again since people were so entertained.

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  46. I still say that Cena's "cheapsauce" promo against Jericho in 2005 single-handedly caused his 50-50 reactions. It was so lame that the older male fans in the audience instantly turned on him (though the fact that he was feuding against Jericho and cult favourite Christian also didn't help).

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  47. Cmon midget court was pretty funny.

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  48. I just thought of a great face turn angle for Tyson Kidd.

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  49. Jim Cornette is one of the best managers of all time.

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  50. Big, ugly medallions are out???!!!

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  51. PREACH. He should be in the HoF, but that bridge is napalmed to hell.

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  52. Heh, the Blackjacks sure did get a "mulligan".




    *puke*

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  53. Bland story. Needs some Kenny Bolin and more Kevin Dunn hate.

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  54. Adam "Colorado" CurryMarch 8, 2015 at 1:24 AM

    I think you misunderstood me.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Him claiming to have nothing to do with ROH's booking was mightily suspicious considering how many angles centering on money ROH had during his time there and those money angles (that quite ironically never draw any money) had been a staple in every promotion where he had some kind of power.

    If Delirious really came up with those ideas like Jim claims, then why hasn't there been a single angle centering around money and fines since Cornette left?

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  56. I think the Austin turn works FAAAR better if HHH turns face the next night. Really, with Rock gone they needed a big megaface to go up against Austin and HHH was clearly best for that role at the time. And to fantasy book for a second, imagine Austin, still heel, fighting alongisde the WWE against WCW, whilst everyone else hates him and Vince, etc. Some serious potential for fun and different storylines.

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  57. Wowza I'm fucked up. Bout to watch some 93 e c dub whilst I pass da fuck out though

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  58. Of course it could work. Wrestling shows centered on wrestling is a formula that's succeeded for eight decades and counting (New Japan's success is current proof of that), the only problem is people (including Cornette himself) interpret things the wrong way and they take those thoughts to mean they should bring back the stars from that era, when in actuality it means they should take a few of those ideas, give it a modern presentation and put it on younger talent.

    Heck, WWE is currently interpreting people's nostalgia for the Attitude Era wrong by continuing to push Kane and Big Show.

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  59. Who are we to doubt El Dandy?

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  60. Very drunk and watching Backlash 2000. There's nothing better than this finish. Absolutely fucking nothing. The Cavs could win the title this year and I don't think I could feel as happy as I did when Rock beat HHH

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  61. Also Rock and HHH are the same skin tone lol

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  62. The cavs could suck my dick while I drive my car down the street and I'd kick them out at the first red light.

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  63. You know when you really feel like you should puke but you can't...and you're watching a bad company vs axel rotten match

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  64. I skipped ahead 5 minutes. I don't give a fuck these matches, I just want to see the angles and promos, or matches not involving ian rotten. Also Ryan Murphy, your my boy and all but I'm like an 8/10 and can still type.

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  65. They've hyped the shit out of this Public Enemy vs Badd Company match over the last two ECW episodes. It's on the next weeks show but it's not on the network. I don't get why. I wish they would at least explain why episodes were missing so it didn't feel like such a mystery.

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  66. So whats the deal, at 2 it just turns to 3? Are there no west coasters left here? I can't believe I'm still up I started drinking and doing other shit at 3. I've eaten a ton of food but I've survived to lay back and watch a crappy Rockin Rebel match. I thought I knew everything about wrestling and I've never heard of this guy.

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  67. I'm very disappointed in art vandelay. It's 1:13 on a Saturday and you're not in here watching wrestling? \

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  68. I can understand that mentality but I think the character Austin concocted was actually quite special. Yes, he was funny and stupid and weird but all those traits came out of him being paranoid and wanting to be the best. So, when matches came around, he was VICIOUS and cold-blooded and desparate to win. He wasn't some goof doing somedy spots in matches. He was a guy going through a weird nervous breakdown which meant he could be in silly skits about his paranoia whilst still having blood feuds against guys like Angle. A main event comedy heel is certainly not something that should be constantly aimed for, but Austin did it successfully, in my opinion.

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  69. MANAGER, yes. But this "great wrestling mind" everyone keeps claiming he has only extends that far.


    Other than that, he repeats what the IWC says, and everyone keeps claiming how awesome he is. But when it comes to putting his money where his mouth is, he drops the ball every time.

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  70. THANK YOU!


    I've stood by my belief for a long time (even before he screwed up ROH) that Cornette is nothing but a self-serving idiotic blowhard. ROH just helped to prove it.


    The man talks a good game -- he repeats everything the IWC says as if it was his mantra. But he's never done a good job of proving any skill at anything but talking. Yeah, he was talent director for OVW for a while, but even that works out to be a "manager" type role. He sucks as a booker.

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  71. Champagne B.arry arthurMarch 8, 2015 at 3:40 AM

    Anyone around this late/early still?

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  72. Not kidding, I stopped watching WWE programming for a while after that bullshit. I'd had enough.

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  73. I hated most of the DX reunions if for no other reason that they did it seemingly every other week during those years.

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  74. Champagne B.arry arthurMarch 8, 2015 at 3:56 AM

    I fell asleep during the greatest factions thing earlier. It had a bunch of DX stuff right at the beginning.

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  75. Whenever Cornette starts on his Russo-bashing, the one thing Corny always loves out is that he hates Russo because Russo replaced him in WWF Creative. The reason for that is because Cornette was one of the geniuses who came up with shit like the Stalker, Who?, Salvatore Sincere, TL Hopper, The Goon, Rockabilly, The Real Double J, Rocky Maivia etc.


    Russo was the guy who said that stuff was garbage, and that instead of Dwayne Johnson being "The Smiling Blue Chipper", he should be 'The Rock' and speak about himself in the third person. Instead of Stone Cold Steve Austin speaking in a flat monotone or not speaking at all, he should be allowed to say what he(meaning Austin) can come up with, instead of The Real Double J and Rockabilly, it may work better if they're Road Dogg and Badass Billy Gunn. Instead of goofy shit like Terry Funk coming out of a box and the Raw Bowl, they should move towards Attitude stuff. McMahon resisted this for a pretty long time, until Cornette's ideas were clearly killing business. Eventually, out of desperation he gave Russo a shot, with Cornette whining and complaining about it all the time.


    And Russo did what Cornette couldn't. He turned the WWF around. Of course, a huge part of that was because of guys like Austin and Rock, but under Cornette you would have had midcarders The Ringmaster and Rocky Maivia. Cornette has resented this ever since. In his mind instead of Stone Cold vs The Rock, WrestleMania XV should probably have been headlined by Who? and What? against Freddie Joe Floyd and The Real Man's Man....

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  76. I kind of thought that was going to be the case there.

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  77. Anyone still around? If so, check out this match of Harlem Heat in GWF. It's the most shameless angle I've ever seen. God bless the territory days.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmQQ9xzxxA4

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  78. "Does this bid include taxes?"
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAsiZMFhbF8#t=5m0s

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  79. Y2Cheap....that was horrid. Yet, it was well-delivered and sounded like a human being said it. Compare that to ANYTHING the Bellas have EVER said, and it sounds like Ian McKellen reading Shakespeare.

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  80. ANYTHING the Bella Twins have ever said, and any HHH "rewriting history"/self-blowjob promo are tied for most cringe-inducing speeches in wrestling history.

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  81. So does Iceman King Parsons....

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  82. Buffalo HopscotchMarch 8, 2015 at 4:47 AM

    "Sullivan my son!"
    I remember thinking as a 8-9 year old "Oh god, who the fuck is this creepy, fat weirdo, and why is anyone letting him talk?"

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  83. He did produce some of the best wrestling ever, his run as a booker in WWF was some of their best shit.


    He's like the anti-Russo. He has absolutely zero creativity but he's a great advocate for the boys and knows how to protect them from stupid shit other bookers create.


    If he wasn't such an asshole I'd think he'd be a pretty good talent relations guy. An advocate for the wrestlers with enough savvy to protect them from whatever dumb shit creative cooks up.

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  84. And unlike Heyman, Cornette never attached himself to some star that he can leech off of into his later years.

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  85. Me too.


    I think that's when everybody got into it.

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  86. My favorite thing that came out of the DX reformation were the Christmas advertisements, especially the one with the Elimination Chamber where Shawn goes on a massive rant ("And all they want to do is play with the box!") and the one where Triple H pushes Shawn's berserk button about his hair one too many times and they fight each other.

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  87. I was so excited for Matt Hardy to finally get his chance against Edge, but then he come out with the promo about hoping Edge died in a car wreck and it was just awful.

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  88. Heh....the real women's wrestlers vs. the bimbo bikini girls.....why do I get the feeling this is going to end up happening again, very soon, in the form of the NXT WOMEN'S WRESTLERS vs. the Bellas and the WWE DIVAS?

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  89. Don't suppose anyone else is watching the New Japan Cup 2nd round? Pretty good show so far.

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  90. Any Jericho or Edge promo around 2008-2010 where they tried too hard and ended up overacting and being unbelievable.

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  91. Well yeah all 20 people at the tv tapings looked like they were having fun.

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  92. When Lawler used to scream about puppies. I was only in high school yet was embarrassed by him. Road dogg saying it once was understandable but Lawler going banannas over every female was cringeworthy.

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  93. Cornette was tasked with creating those 96 gimmick wrestlers and in charge of recruiting the wrestlers for them, but he apparently hated the whole idea. Those guys were always supposed to be jobbers, that was the point of them. They wanted jobbers with names rather than just having Duane Gill and such on Raw. So no they would not have headlined Wrestlemania if Cornette had his way, in fact they probably would not have even existed. And Rockabilly was under Russo.

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  94. Hogan's F.U.N.B. shirt. They actually tried to get him over as some Steve Austin badass, and in my mind I was like, "F.U.H.H." God I hate WCW in 2000 (but not as much as 1999).

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  95. One of the all time greatest Botchamania Endings!

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  96. When Shannon Moore was doing the book of dilligaf or whatever. That was cringy.

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  97. This wins every time:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MISUHTo2NDs

    YIP!

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  98. Literally anything that Jeff Hardy has ever mumble-whined.

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  99. She seems kind and all, but I wish she'd just keep quiet during the interviews. Annoys me like crazy!

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  100. To say nothing of Naked Mideon, Meat, Beaver Cleavage, Prince Albert, and William Regal's Man's Man.

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  101. If something happened to this idiot where he lost his power of speech, that would be ok.

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  102. So he booked all that shit, but hated it. Doesn't that make him a prostitute? I guess he could have just stuck to SMW, as they, oh I guess not.


    Look, I agree with a lot of what Cornette says. But sometimes he goes too far. He himself has served up some real shit over the years. As for right now, I'd much rather have Cornette in charge of WWE than the current Creative Team, but Cornette himself is not without blame as to the state of pro wrestling today.

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  103. Having to do something at your job that you don't like makes you a prostitute? I'm not sure that's true.

    Hey, I got troubles with Cornette too. I used to love his angry rants on the Observer. But then he seems to be like that ALL the time and it's exhausting. I wouldn't listen to his podcast. But I'll be damned if I'll let someone defend Vince Russo and get away with it!

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  104. I do believe Vince Russo could beat anyone at a shitty gimmick creation contest.

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  105. Yeah, the problem with Cornette is that a) his real beef is with the fans who aren't dumb enough to be played for marks anymore, b) what he really misses isn't the booking or television product from the 80's, he misses how he could travel around Tennessee, Arkansas, North Carolina, etc. and be treated like a bona fide rock star. Which is fine, and doesn't mean that a lot of his complaints don't have merit, but Triple H could reincarnate 1989 NWA booking and it wouldn't satisfy Cornette.

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  106. Watching the Flair vs Vince match at Rumble 02. Him busting Flair open and taking the camera from his kids to take a selfie of him and Flair is a hilariously dickish move

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  107. I loved JR's commentary during the whole thing. Here's what could be a legitimately heartfelt reunion (minus the way Bret acts during the hug; totally cold) and Ross is selling it like they're making a deal with the devil. Awesome.

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  108. The best moment during that time was when they indicated an armed cop might shoot that rebellious badass youngster Hogan at any moment if he makes one move.

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  109. Daniel Bryan calling Bo-Dallas a Bo-ner always comes to mind. That was terrible.

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  110. that was a pretty brief article, i was kinda hoping for something long and to include an epic rant...

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  111. Fuck you, daylight savings time.

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  112. If it hasn't been said already - H B SHIZZLE

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  113. Biff Kensington Has a PosseMarch 8, 2015 at 8:09 AM

    Young Dave Hester!?!?

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  114. If you're talking about the Body Count match, it was never aired because it (allegedly) sucked about as much as a Roman Reigns promo.

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  115. JR once described Lita as "Multi-orgasmic, if you will, in a cosmic sort of way."

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  116. Calling his dick a Strudel.

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  117. It did lead to "You're a poser" though.

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  118. I'll defend Damn, because it was a way to keep an older guy getting a paycheck without really taking things over- by the time Damn became his thing he was in his mid 40s, I think? Otherwise, agreed on the first part.

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  119. Any Cena promo where he tries to get all serious. Or playful. Or pretty much any Cena promo.

    Didn't Jericho have a Highlight Reel with Rusev recently that was really bad?

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  120. Even beyond the internet, people aren't dumb enough to think that you could be doing the moves on a regular basis without getting killed.

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  121. The Amazing GamecockMarch 8, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Ced Mann...

    there's a joke in there somewhere.

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  122. Vince wanted the cartoon characters, I don't think you can put the fault on Cornette for delivering what his boss wanted. And considering that Austin became Stone Cold and won KOTR in 1996, I don't see any reason to think Cornette would have fucked up the rise of Austin and Rock in the long run.

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  123. "So he booked all that shit, but hated it. Doesn't that make him a prostitute?"

    Do you not have a boss or something?

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  124. Regardless, the cat's out of the bag. WWE has done a strong job at killing the believable parts that it's hard to really get invested and behind something in wrestling. In the 80's, you could get away with fireballs and ether rags and the like because it'd always be sold properly, making the viewer at the very least, wonder if it were true. WWE has guys fall 50' in a car and comeback with no injuries. It's like Cornette doesn't get that.

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  125. "Damn skippy.... hippy!"

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  126. You know what would have really sparked a new boom period for pro wrestling? Building a promotion - any promotion - around Dan Severn. Because he was an amateur wrestler and a legit tough guy, you see.

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  127. I think that is probably the deepest thing I have ever hear in my life. Ever. If I smoked pot my head would explode.

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  128. The DX reunion finished me as a full-time fan. They put themselves over any wrestler I wanted to see, and I knew that, despite Triple H's and Shawn's age and position, none of those guys would get a win back. It wasn't good for the fans, and it sure wasn't good for the company.

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  129. If you could get Lance Storm as his foil, that's a license to print money!

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  130. Except that it immediately got everyone in the arena chanting.

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  131. Austin won KOTR in 1996, but there were no more long-term plans for him than there were for Mabel in 1995. meanwhile, Rock was Rocky Maivia, smiling babyface asshole. And even when Vince McMahon wanted cartoon characters, Russo steered him in another direction. So Cornette is either a pussy, full of shit, or both.

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  132. YankeesHoganTripleHFanMarch 8, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    Not a promo but poop stain Patterson was pretty bad.

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  133. Yeah, I do. But I'm not spending all my time whining about the asshole I had for a boss back in 94-96.

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  134. Naked Mideon=after Russo. And while that other stuff was crap, it's far from the worst WWE has ever done.


    But really, the gimmicks aren't what determine whether people buy tickets, PPV's etc, or watch the show. Headliners determine that.

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  135. In all seriousness, why the Russo hate?

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  136. You're burying the hell out of that lede. "Russo turned the WWF around and a huge part of that was because of Rock and Austin..."


    I mean, stop right there. Not only are you making things up (when did Cornette push for Freddie Joe Floyd and TL Hopper to main event?) but you're just casually strolling by the fact that the Attitude Era was all Austin and Rock and Russo's characters were a fun sideshow.

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  137. John Morrison has been mentioned a couple of times... but there was an after match promo (that may have been a wwe.com exclusive) where he was basically doing a Jim Carrey impression, and then pretended to walk down stairs to end the whole thing.

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  138. Yeah, but until Russo came along, Austin was midcarder who speaks in a monotone, and Rock was Blue Chipper Rocky Maivia. Without Russo neither guy would have got the proper push they deserved. Rocky Maivia would probably be like Roman Reigns is now rather than like he actually was.

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  139. Because 90 percent of what he did was awful. The Good: Fun storylines, gave purpose to every guy on the card. The Bad: Just about everything else.

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  140. Russo had some brilliant ideas, some so-so ideas, and some terrible ideas. Just like every booker ever. Except the current team, who don't have the "brilliant" part....

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  141. Kung Pow Chicken, Kung Pow Bitch was horrible. I hate Gewirtz.

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  142. Jim Cornette doesn't like something? I'm shocked

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  143. http://411mania.com/wrestling/who-is-roman-reigns/

    "He’s not a sympathetic babyface, a cunning heel, or an ass-kicking
    tweener. So who is Roman Reigns? He’s a guy that was part of a dominant
    faction, and ever since The Shield broke-up, he’s still part of that
    faction. Nothing about him has changed. He talks more, but he still has
    the same entrance music, the same crowd entrance, and the same ring
    gear. He’s still living off The Shield gimmick instead of separating
    himself like Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose have done."

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  144. I'm still surprised Mero isn't black. He looks just like Little Richard!!!!

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  145. So I wanted to wait a while for the Albert news to sink in before posting about it....part of me honestly thinks Vince - or the lackeys who report to him - read this blog, see our rational solutions like having Lance Storm (or in my case, Dean Malenko) take over for that piece of shit DeMott...and think to themselves, let's fuck with the real fans and give them ALBERT instead.

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  146. Albert wouldn't be a good trainer? And who is to say Lance Storm would want to move to Florida?

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  147. It wasn't on TV, but "The Charismatic Apology" was probably the cringiest thing about TNA in a history of cringing

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  148. No, he's awesome at Spinning that he had great ideas. He was a decent on-air personality in WCW, but creatively? He fails, hard, and consistently..

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  149. Yeah I mean I raised that point also and the IWC vehemently attacked me for saying Malenko was a better choice (he's a FL guy)

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  150. I thought it was Blackjack Lanza that did the vignettes for the Blackjacks. Lanza was still hanging around as an agent.

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  151. Maybe the IWC attacked you because you smell and need a shower.

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  152. I don't know anything Malenko and his training but I love everyone immediately acting like Albert would be a bad choice.

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  153. Well... I watched him take a struggling WCW and completely destroy it, then I watched him write terrible show after terrible show with TNA for about a decade, consistently ruining any chance of a number 2 wrestling promotion having any chance of success. I've read his book Forgiven, which was easily the worst, most obnoxious, grating, delusional book I've ever read (and I've read Dianetics). And I've seen and read a ton of interviews in which he proves over and over again that he's learned nothing from his mistakes and is of zero value to the wrestling business going forward. His Russo books Raw is so embarrassing it makes current WWE creative seem like writing gods. He was a booker who had a good but *very* short run nearly 20 years ago, and everything else he's done has been terrible. Why the love?

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  154. I don't mind Albert as a bad choice. Hell, I don't even mind DeMott if he was a good person. In wrestling, all a trainer can do is give you the fundamentals and in WWE's case, how to perform for the camera. Maybe Albert is good at that since he has wrestled for the company for a decent amount of time.

    The real learning happens as you build experience.

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  155. Look, I'm here to engage in discussions about the product I've loved since I was a kid. If you're gonna make ad hominem attacks, fuck off. Besides, we all know people like you are the ones who smell and can't afford a shower unless it's the 1st or the 15th

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  156. You smell like Bastion Booger.

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  157. AverageJoeEverymanMarch 8, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    Love that fucking song!

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  158. Cornette has some of the same issues that we have about today's product but I agree with what someone said before, him booking WWE now would be like Bill Watts bringing the 70s back in 1992 WCW.

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  159. I never said I loved Russo. I said he did some great stuff, some alright stuff, and some total shit. However, he did take a struggling WWF, and make it the biggest pro wrestling promotion in the world ever. He was a one-hit wonder though, as he's never been able to even come close to that success ever again, and he's as out-of-touch now as the people he replaced in 1997 were back then.


    Really, one thing I do like about Russo was that he always tried to give everyone a chance, rather than cutting their legs out from under them if they weren't one of the chosen group.

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  160. The thing with Russo is he absolutely should be head writer of a promotion, but only with someone like Vince above him who has final say. Vince can't book for shit, but he can take a flawed idea and work it effectively. And Russo also needs wrestlers like Foley who can take 'goofy skit with Vince in a hospital bed' and make it into brilliance.

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  161. That's the joke.

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  162. TNA prior to Russo in 2006 was great and the first show he wrote had his finger prints all over it. Reverse battle royals, hot shotting titles, SWERVES!!

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  163. Yeah, and it doesn't take a genius to point out that WWE has problems now. Just as it doesn't take a genius to point out that HHH is nowhere near as popular as he thinks he is.

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  164. HHH's 'reign of terror' was a modern day version of Ric Flair's NWA title runs.


    And it wasn't the worst thing ever, but the business changed. No one wanted to see a heel champ dominating on top in methodical matches.

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  165. One-Eyed Jack! Hang 'Em High!

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  166. I think Cornette could work as sort of a "wrestling voice of reason" but not as the one completely responsible for the booking of a promotion.

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  167. Yeah ROH has been much better since he left. Oh wait, nevermind, this is the worst it's ever been.

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  168. Mankind should have given him an extra beating for stealing part of his name.

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  169. There's also the fact that HHH has maybe 1% the talent and charisma of Ric Flair.

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  170. There's a reason Flair and Lawler still have a job with WWE and Cornette doesn't.

    Flair and Lawler saw the writing on the wall, and went with it. They played ball. I'm sure both of them find fault with a lot of shit the WWE has done to the business, but they accepted that things change and quiite enjoy high six figure pay checks. Cornette would be in the HOF, but he's a stubborn old man who should've said 'fuck pride' a long time ago.

    Wrestling's a business. Take the money, make a speech, and stop acting like it's life or death.

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  171. How do you know that either of them would want the job?

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  172. That's basically what happened with Cornette's booking in 1997. He got mocked out of the job for still trying to force kayfabe. Even in his Guest Booker, he'll never accept kayfabe is dead.

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  173. Yeah, integrity is for jerkoffs.

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  174. But Corny's always had $$$$, so he can afford pride.

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  175. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarMarch 8, 2015 at 9:35 AM

    Let's not pretend you aren't engaging in just as many attacks on people here. It's a blog full of snarky people who bust on each other just as much as they discuss the topic at hand, so chill out and stop being so defensive.

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  176. I listened to a really good 30-minute clip of Corny and Storm talking about how head-scratchingly puzzling the build to the current WM is. Cornette has the same opinion as pretty much everyone on this blog: no idea why Bryan isn't given the prominent position, and they've taken a raw talent in Reigns and fucked him up.

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  177. I can understand Reigns still being heartbroken about The Shield split because so am I.

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  178. Corny has a horrible temper, and that, more than anything else, cost him his job.


    And Flair and Lawler both are embarrassing shells of what they used to be. Cornette has a pretty successful podcast and an idea of what's happening in the outside world.

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  179. Yeah, fuck employment, he's got a PODCAST.

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  180. Which is more than Russo has.

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  181. also, Ivory is awesome.

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  182. It took me a bit to figure out exactly WHAT looked so awkward about that, then I realized that because of his spiked hair he couldn't bump properly - he had to keep his head off the mat.

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  183. "I think... instead of chanting 'you suck,' everyone should chant 'you're bald!'"

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  184. what bothers me about this segment every time is how Austin no-sells the milk being shot at him. during the beer bash McMahon was doing swimming motions while lyring in the ring and in 2001 the Alliance members at least fell down... but Austin just kept standing there.

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  185. He loves something that's not from 25+ years ag?

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  186. the most cringeworthy about this was DX beating every other team in a decisive fashion.

    (they even pointed out the similarities between themselves and Miz & Morrison... well, of course the difference being that while DX took out the old guard - for example represented by the Legion of Doom - it was now the upcoming guys who were being the losers)

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