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The SmarK Rant for WWE Elimination Chamber 2015 - 05.31.15

The SmarK Rant for WWE Elimination Chamber 2015 – 05.31.15

Live from Corpus Christi, TX

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & JBL

WWE Tag titles: The New Day v. The Ascension v. The Prime Time Players v. Cesaro & Kidd v. Los Matadores v. The Lucha Dragons

The New Day gets to compete with all three guys in the match, because of reasons. We start with Ascension v. Lucha Dragons, and the Dragons quickly dominate with double-teaming and a pair of sentons on Konnor. The Ascension tries to work Kalisto over, but he jumps on top of the New Day pod, where they grab his leg and beat on him. Both Dragons fight off the heels and Sin Cara hits Viktor with a swanton from the top of the pod, but New Day keeps pulling Kalisto down. Well, that was lame. So the Brass Ring Club is the next team in and they beat on Konnor with a 3D and Cesaro goes flying up to the top of the New Day pod to hit Kalisto with a forearm. He brings Kalisto down with a superplex into a Kidd flying elbow that gets two. The Ascension and BRC trade some stuff and Kidd gets the Sharpshooter on Viktor, but Konnor saves. Kalisto plays Spider-Man on the fence for some reason while Konnor hits a Dominator on Sin Cara for two, and the Matadores are the next ones in. Kalisto hangs from the very apex of the cage while everyone pools in the center, and he dives onto them in a really dangerous spot. I’d call that really needlessly reckless. And then the bull also climbs up the cage, but he lands on the Ascension and gets torpedoed out of the ring. Fall of Man finishes a matador at 10:33. Fall of Man finishes Kalisto at 11:24. This is some weird ass booking. Prime Time Players are in at 12:44 and they too fall victim to the, uh, awesome dominance of the Ascension, until Young suddenly hits his double knees finisher on Viktor to finish at 13:35. So what was the point of the Ascension running through 2 other teams? So Cesaro slugs it out with Young and hits a top rope gut wrench while some poor bastards try to start a “this is awesome” chant. It’s really not, guys. New Day is in with the other teams all beat up, and we get a wacky suplex with all the babyfaces suplexing all the heels. Cesaro tosses Woods into his pod and locks the door, evening things up, and we get the Giant Swing on Kofi into the dropkick, but Young rolls up Cesaro for the pin at 18:34 to suck the life out of the crowd. New Day chokes out Titus, but Young comes back and sends Big E into the pod and the Players make the comeback. Titus throws guys into the cage and Young hits his finisher on Kofi for two, but Big E suplexes Young onto the steel grating and the New Day triple-teams Titus to retain at 24:00. Yeah, this kinda sucked compared to most Chamber matches. **1/2 It was really disjointed and didn’t build to anything in particular that people wanted to see. Like why give the Ascension all those shine spots and then beat them a minute later? There were some good spots, but it wasn’t really a good match.

Meanwhile, Lana (who is rapidly losing her accent) wishes Dolph luck in the main event tonight.

Divas title: Nikki Bella v. Naomi v. Paige

Naomi hauls Nikki out to get rid of her right away, but misses a cross body on Paige. Paige hits the clotheslines and a fallaway slam for two. Nikki comes back in and we get some really awkward missed stuff, including Nikki trying a high kick and basically swinging at air two feet away from either girl, but Naomi dumps her and comes back on Paige. They pile up in the corner and we get a Tower of Doom powerbomb spot, but Naomi hits the butt-butt on Nikki for two. She does a really sloppy backwards rana on Paige and gets two, but Nikki hits her with the Rack Attack to retain at 6:00. Apparently we are supposed to cheer this development. It feels like they should have just put the title on Naomi here because she’s getting over. Usual women’s match but dragged down with ridiculous botched moves that they shouldn’t even be doing. *1/2

John Cena v. Kevin Owens

Hey, thanks to everyone who immediately e-mailed me after this match and spoiled it for me. My phone going crazy in my pocket probably should have tipped me off to something big happening. Jerry Lawler, on a roll of brainfarts tonight, calls him “Kevin Steen” during the ring introductions. Owens beats him down in the corner to start, but Cena comes back with the bulldog, so Owens whips him around the ring. Owens with a chinlock, but Cena tries to power out, so Owens hits the DDT for two. Owens slugs away, but Cena rolls him up for two, so Owens puts him down with a senton for two. Cena fights back, but Owens gets a version of White Noise for two. Cannonball in the corner gets two. Cena makes the comeback, but walks into the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Owens to the top, but Cena trips him up and hits the FU for two. They slug it out and KO puts him down with a superkick, then stops for some mockery, which earns him an STF. Owens powers out and hits own FU for two, but Cena gets a tornado DDT for two. Guillotine legdrop gets two. Owens with the powerbomb for two. Owens slugs away, but Cena gets the stunner for two. To the top, but Owens reverses to a fisherman’s suplex in mid-air for two, then goes up again with a swanton for two. Cena puts him down with a lariat, but the Pop Up Powerbomb out of nowhere finishes at 19:55! The icing on the cake is the shots of all the horrified Cena fans in the audience crying. Even my wife, who was sitting there mocking both guys during the match, suddenly goes “HE BEAT JOHN CENA?!” And the announcers made sure to play this up as a huge deal. Everyone immediately compared this to Cena v. Brock, but this was more like Sting v. Vader with Cena getting a bunch of offense and constantly fighting back, but getting overwhelmed in the end. ****3/4 This would have to rank up there with the best examples ever of a new guy getting turned into a top level star in one night, done deal.

Meanwhile, the panel of idiots is in SHOCK.

Neville v. Bo Dallas

Neville works the knee and flips into a moonsault to the floor, which gets two. Bo dumps him to take over and hits a clothesline for two while we get a weird transition to the Chamber graphic out of nowhere. That seems like it might have been a mistake. Bo with a lengthy facelock while the announcers continue their inane bickering, but Neville throws him out to CREATE SEPARATION. Neville makes the comeback and finishes with the Red Arrow at 8:55. Going nearly 10 minutes with Dallas shows you the level that Neville is on now. *

Meanwhile, HHH informs Roman Reigns that, sadly, he cannot sanction Reigns being at ringside for the World title match tonight.

Intercontinental title: Sheamus v. Ryback v. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler v. King Barrett v. Mark Henry

Rusev injures himself so they put Mark Henry in there instead? That’s like having Jake Roberts as your AA sponsor. Ryback has dedicated this match to some kid at a gas station, in case you were wondering about his motivation. So we start with Ziggler and Barrett, and Dolph gets a pair of wacky rollups for two, but Barrett beats on him in the corner for two. We hit the chinlock and Dolph fights back with a corner splash and elbow for two, but gets clotheslined to the grating. R-Truth is next in, but Barrett won’t even let him leave the pod. Barrett beats on both babyfaces, but Truth comes back with a dropkick for two. Barrett catches him with the Bossman slam for two, but Dolph rolls up Barrett for two. The crowd could not care less about these three midcard geeks trading near falls. Barrett throws Ziggler into Henry’s pod and manages to break the door, so Mark Henry comes in early and beats on Barrett, followed “officially” by Ryback. It’s probably best that they speed this one up. Ryback overpowers Henry for two and hits Barrett with a spinebuster for two, and Ziggler gets a crucifix on Barrett for two. Barrett with the Wasteland for two, but Henry breaks it up for some reason. Well that’s stupid. R-Truth has literally been laying around doing nothing for like 3:00. Everyone gangs up on Barrett and Truth finally does something, hitting Barrett with the Little Jimmy or whatever it’s called now and eliminating him at 11:15. So the babyfaces all pair off, but now Sheamus’s door is stuck. Now everyone gangs up on Mark Henry, but Ryback turns on Ziggler and finishes Truth with the Shellshock at 13:55. Ryback with a very delayed suplex on Ziggler and the crowd is still really bored by all this. Sheamus finally emerges due to something dealing with his necklace, in that he either fixed the door or was jamming it the whole time or something. They did a terrible job explaining what that was supposed to be about or why it was important for him to be stuck in there the whole time. Like, shouldn’t someone have called attention to the necklace earlier? Brogue Kick eliminates Mark Henry at 17:20. The boredom continues as Sheamus suplexes Dolph for two, but Ziggler gets a DDT for two. Fameasser on Sheamus, but the Brogue Kick eliminates him at 20:31. Ryback comes back and pounds away in the corner, but Sheamus bails to the grating to escape. White Noise on the outside gets two. They fight on the other side and now Sheamus gets the Regal roll on the grating, but Ryback catches him with a powerbomb back into the ring. Shellshock wins the title at 25:10. They seriously put a title on RYBACK? This was easily one of the worst Chamber matches ever, with a slow pace and a bored crowd, long stretches of nothing, and poor Dolph having to bump for four other guys. ** At least it was someone different winning, I guess. Daniel Bryan presents him with the title afterwards, which was kind of a tip-off that a babyface was winning anyway.

Meanwhile, at Wrestlemania, Seth Rollins runs down to cash in the briefcase, then [something happens], and he’s the champion! Just to be clear, it’s OK to watch masked superhero Kalisto jumping from the ceiling of the cage and nearly dying, but stomping on another guy’s head is too hot for TV.

Kevin Owens v John Cena II at Money in the Bank, because they just can’t let anything build for a while before going right back to it. Also, the Money in the Bank match will feature Ziggler, Reigns, Kofi (?), Randy Orton, Sheamus, Neville, and more! The purpose of at least three of those guys is pretty transparently clear.

WWE World title: Seth Rollins v. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose controls with armdrags and Rollins bails for some support from the stooges. Back in, Ambrose puts him down with a chop and slugs away on the ropes, then follows with a guillotine legdrop for two. They fight to the top and Rollins gets a double stomp in the corner to take over and goes to the chinlock. The continue having a really dull match until they collide and Ambrose comes back with a powerbomb for two after some near-falls. J&J pull Rollins out of the ring to save him, but Ambrose follows with a dive and they go crashing into the tables. Back in, Rollins with a backslide for two, and a superkick for two. Now the crowd is doing “this is awesome” chants after sitting on their hands for 10 minutes. Not cool, Texas. They head up and Rollins tries a powerbomb out of the corner, but Dean slugs out of it and they hit the floor. Rollins sends him into the railing with a powerbomb and gets two off that, and the flying knee gets two. Curtain Call gets two. I kind of which they’d stop with having guys kick out of finishers in EVERY match. I mean, he powerbombed the guy into the RAILING! That should have been a months-long injury angle ala Sami Zayn. No wonder they can’t get any of this stuff over. Ambrose makes the comeback with a tornado DDT for two. Dean tries the guillotine again but misses this time, then comes back with the rebound lariat for two. Flying elbow gets two. Rollins puts him on the floor and follows with a dive, then back in with a turnbuckle powerbomb, but Ambrose no-sells and knocks the stooges off the apron. He hits them all with a dive, but now the ref is bumped on the way back in. Seth goes up and misses a dive, and Dirty Deeds gets the pin from a second referee at 21:55. No way this stands. Like this is the clearest Dusty Finish possible. And indeed, the first referee revives and it’s reversed to a DQ win instead. That’s a shit finish to a pretty good match. *** The Authority tries the beatdown, but Roman Reigns makes the save and Ambrose steals the belt. THEY JUST DID THAT STORYLINE. Nice to see some new faces in the main event, though.

The Pulse

Clearly this is a one-match show, but it’s a HELL of a match. Just subscribe to the network for June because you’re getting your $10 worth out of Cena v. Owens and the main event was pretty decent. The Chamber matches are both really disappointing, though, so be warned. Thumbs up regardless.  It’s a free show, what do you want? 

Comments

  1. Macklin, Man Without FearMay 31, 2015 at 11:59 PM

    Damn I wish I knew the REAL review was coming. I wouldn't have commented on the other one!


    So the general feeling I'm gathering is that Cena/Owens was pretty good.

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  2. How about a show that's solid all the way through? SD used to do it all the time for free.

    But yeah, Cena/Owens was pure Edmonton-era Gretzky.

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  3. The IC match started great. And the last minute or so was good. The middle was a huge, terrible clusterfuck. Henry having to come in too soon, then everybody being completely confused. Then the Sheamus stuck in the pod thing.

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  4. We've seen ambrose survive being powerbombed into a pile of chairs for a near fall in the past. But NOW scott were supposed to believe being power bombed into the barricade will put dean out for a month? Cmon.

    I actually dug ambrose-rollins until the dusty finish. I thought it was about ***3/4.

    Also unlike the ic belt dean at least has a far more legitimate gripe to be pissed enough to steal the wwe belt.

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  5. may be the worst WWE match this year, just for that clusterfuck in the middle with Dolph having to try and give instructions to guys who have no improv skills.

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  6. Eh, I was pleasantly surprised enough. Cena-Owens: great Strong Style homage. The ME: enjoyable enough. Putting a title on Ryback: I'm not drunk enough for this shit.


    6.75/10.

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  7. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 12:11 AM

    I do gotta question announcing the rematch in just 2 weeks. Why not let it simmer for a while? Have Owens run his mouth and build the rematch for SummerSlam? Or the July ppv?

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  8. The match came to a complete halt and Dolph Ziggler had to book the match in the middle of the ring. He just clearly told everyone what to do. So fucking awful.

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  9. So SummerSlam can be Cena/Owens 3, and Shield 3 way.

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  10. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 12:15 AM

    What happened that caused such a mess up?

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  11. Pretty much.


    Also, why not strike while the iron is hot? They're not great at building shit over a long period of time anyway. These two are getting a reaction and building a huge buzz; rock that shit out.

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  12. Corned Biff HashJune 1, 2015 at 12:18 AM

    #LOLKillOwensKill

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  13. All I can figure is that Henry's pod wasn't supposed to bust open. They kinda had to just put him in the match. And that wasn't what they had planned. So it completely fell apart.

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  14. If I'm booking MiTB, I have Owens walk out of his rematch with Cena because it's "not worth his time" after like 15 minutes. He can then cut a promo saying he already beat Cena so why was he even wrestling him again/prize fighter with no prize. Then Cena can come out and put the US Title on the line for SummerSlam and I'd have Owens go over there.


    What I think we'll get is Owens losing at MiTB maybe due to interference or even clean. I don't think they should beat him this early but it could definitely happen.


    PPV was middle of the road overall. I feel like the women's division is just being dragged down to the depths of hell with this face Nikki title run and both chamber matches were meh

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  15. It's a filler summer feud for Cena.

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  16. Why would the first ref call a DQ and give the belt to the guy that just got him knocked out? If I'm that ref I'm saying "tough shit" to rollins and I give the belt to ambrose.

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  17. This whole set-up feels a lot like a This Tuesday in Texas. Using one high profile show to directly build another. Pretty much what they always do but with a bit more urgency. I don't mind this as a Network format experiment, but I hope it's not the first step on the road to doubling the number of "PPV"s.

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  18. So Cena does the US title open challenge every week on Raw, but doesn't put the title on the line at the "PPV"? They even sold it as "Champion vs Champion".

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  19. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONJune 1, 2015 at 12:34 AM

    You missed one of THE spots of the night, which I am now dubbing the "Surface to Air Missile", where Cesaro dropkicked Kofi while he was on the top rope. That was just incredible.

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  20. Well both guys are champions so technically it is champion vs champion.

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  21. I just heard that Cody's new move is called the Queen's Crossbow. Like Oliver Queens from Arrow. I guess this Summerslam crossover match is actually going to happen. I hope somewhere down the line Stardust gets to show up on Arrow as a villain.

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  22. He's been studying his NJPW.

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  23. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONJune 1, 2015 at 12:39 AM

    I'm sure that's what they think they'll be getting out of the deal, but they'll probably get screwed over and used in the end. Every time they try to whore themselves, they get whored 2x worse.

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  24. With Neville's finisher being the Red Arrow, they need to get him in on it too

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  25. Virgil's Gimmick TableJune 1, 2015 at 12:41 AM

    It was amazing. You should watch it immediately.

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  26. I dig that moniker

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  27. BECAUSE FUCK YOU PAL WERE TELLING STORIES GODDAMMIT

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  28. Go fig, I think Stardust would fit in better on The Flash. I'm in for a Cody Rhodes/Wentworth Miller scene-chewing contest.

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  29. Nikki is a face? Who the fuck would think that's a good idea?

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  30. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 12:49 AM

    If SummerSlam isn't Brock vs. Seth they're out of their fucking skulls. Shield 3 way sounds awesome but Brock is getting his title shot.

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  31. This is the most exciting the summer has been for some time. 2015 hasn't been too bad after a god awful start.

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  32. Agreed, and possibly Rusev not being in it, so not only was Henry not in the original booking, but he entered early as well...

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  33. It was champion vs champion, but not title for title.

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  34. Ambrose kicked out of the flying knee, which had previously won the tag titles for the Shield, and that was the one that really bugged me. They need to protect more stuff in the ring because you don't need to go to the "kicking out of crazy stuff" well in the first match of the series. Especially if you're just doing a shit finish like that anyway.

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  35. Did they ever explain why Brie went back with Nikki? Talk about killing Brie off forever

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  36. What I noticed in the Cena/Owens match is they rely on near falls from moves that have never beaten anyone. Owens' cannonball has never pinned anyone, so it's not a very believable near fall. Same with the springboard stunner. If someone doesn't win a match with a move occasionally, it's hard to buy it as the end of a match.

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  37. Exactly. Another reason why I mourn the loss of jobbers who could get a variety of crazy shit over and thus make the near-falls meaningful in big matches.

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  38. Because Dusty Rhoads that's why.

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  39. They never explained why they got back together as heels, or why they both ended up as babyfaces now.

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  40. #GiveJobbersAChance

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  41. Tho you can thell em the rematch, baby...

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  42. If they do that they'll just exacerbate their existing problem of having too much programming to fill and a roster that's not big enough to handle it.

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  43. Who knew throwing a big wrestler into the glass really hard might actually break it.

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  44. Anyone notice a disturbing trend on WWE shows for the last year and a half where post-Cena match the entire show goes downhill?

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  45. I legit jumped out of my chair when Ambrose got the pin. Totally threw me off.

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  46. I'm really, really hating "WWE style" these days. Cena-Owens was good, but I hate the constant finisher kickouts, kickouts of spots that should be match enders, etc. It's not just their match, but its bled into other matches on the show too, sometimes not even main events! Makes me wonder whether I should just not even follow modern wrestling and just spend my time watching older footage. It just seems like the sport has passed me by.

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  47. I notice a disturbing trend of crowds chanting THIS IS AWESOME to every damn thing now.

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  48. That's become about as grating as the never ending "WHAT" chants

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  49. Nah I agree with you. It happens too much. Why can't they just reverse the finishers until someone actually hits it? Owens kicking out of the AA would've meant more if a freaking loser like BNB hadn't already done it.

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  50. I think from the sounds of it thats exactly what has happened or you can just not watch the WWE. Just on my television alone I get Lucha, TNA, WWE, NJPW, and ROH. You also have HOH, PWG, and CHIKIRA all relativley easy to find these days. I doubt you will because nobody ever stops watching the WWE but in all do honesty it sounds like the things you dislike are only going to become more relevant and you can either continue to not enjoy it or you can figure out how to fix your fandom even if as you said you have to resort to the older stuff.

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  51. That and I think the WWE misses the boat on finishers. The true battle should be on applying them, just like you see in the UFC. This is especially true of submissions. The battle should be over Cena applying the STF and not just clamping it on so some dude gets to the ropes.

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  52. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 1:14 AM

    That's why I liked Cena/Rusev from WrestleMania more than most. One AA, done. I loved that.

    For big matches at big shows I don't mind finisher kickouts. But midcard matches really don't need them.

    I don't think it's going away any time soon.

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  53. Yeah but thats never been the case. Finisher trading has been going on since the days of ECW and the Attitude Era. Your average main event match had you not only hitting your finish three times but a lot of times guys would steal the others guys finish and hit that as well.

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  54. Just having Arrow in a wrestling match at Summerslam is a big deal. They will get a lot more out of Arrow wrestling for them than they would Cody Rhodes showing up on the Arrow. This is going to generate a ton of press especially with it being about a month before Arrow will start back up.

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  55. Yeah that's kind of what I mean. The drama should be who gets hit with a finisher first rather than who can kick out.

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  56. I'll take dusty finish over exploding tv.

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  57. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 1:22 AM

    The finish with the victory and then reversal reminds me of the Shawn/HHH Raw Classic in 2003. Watching that live I lost my mind when Shawn won and then that slime ball Eric Bischoff reversed it because Shawn's shoulders were down. I was the heartbreak kid that night.

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  58. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 1:24 AM

    Is Amell going to wrestle as Stephen Amell or are they going to have him show up as The Arrow? Normally I'd yuck him showing up as The Arrow but Stardust is goofy enough that it would only make sense for Amell to be The Arrow.

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  59. "Ambrose kicked out of the flying knee, which had previously won the tag titles for the Shield, and that was the one that really bugged me."

    That was over two years ago, when is the last time Rollins has even beaten someone clean using that move?

    "They need to protect more stuff in the ring because you don't need to go to the "kicking out of crazy stuff" well in the first match of the series."



    But it's perfectly okay to do that when your "stealing the show" by beating John Cena clean as a sheet. Even though he's having another match next month.


    I'll be honest as much as I enjoyed Cena-Owens; I had gotten burned out towards the end on a couple of those near falls when I watched the replay. The point was Owens ultimately upsetting Cena in a shocker. If the plan was to have more matches, was 10 minutes of near falls after both guys kicked out of each others finishers really necessary for that? 3-5 minutes couldn't accomplish that? I'm all for ****1/2 matches, but if they go a similar route for the rematch it's gonna burnout the audience on Kevin Owens faster than they probably would want to.

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  60. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 1, 2015 at 1:27 AM

    With the IC roll up fest, why not keep Henry in his pod? And scrap the Sheamus spot when the wheels come off the bus. He lays everyone out, they salvage that shit laying on the mat. Instead he's "locked" in his cell, heeling it up and the moron announcers don't sell it.

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  61. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 1, 2015 at 1:29 AM

    There were two finishes kicked out of in the match. I still think it should have ended on a desperation superfinish... Package piled river perhaps, but this match was far from the worst abuse of that.

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  62. "Like why give the Ascension all those shine spots and then beat them a minute later?"


    Basically 50/50 booking except in this case it's more like 16.66/16.66/16.66/16.66/16.66/16.66 booking.

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  63. Hell I watched an SNME match with Hogan vs Funk and he won the match with a lariat.

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  64. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 1, 2015 at 1:37 AM

    Also, Chris Jericho 2001-02 thinks Seth Rollins is a weak champion.

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  65. I really, really wanted that to be legit. But yeah, the announcers just screwed that whole thing up (surprise, surprise). The announcing is probably why I feel so jaded about the product. They never seem to care about anything, so why should I?

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  66. One thing I think we can agree on is that Dean Ambrose is becoming a cartoon. That comeback spot off the ropes is becoming a parody unto itself.

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  67. Is that really any dumber than the five knuckle shuffle or The People's Elbow?

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  68. At least those are one-time spots and not constantly repeated tons of times. Ambrose is starting to do it way too much when it should be like a desperation spot or something.

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  69. I'm old enough to remember when "finishers" weren't even a thing.

    Stay with the times, or let it go. There's no holding onto anything forever.

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  70. If cartoons are what the brass wants, then that's what they get.

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  71. Also being in position for those two moves is something that can happen to anyone in any match, nobody else falls backwards into the roped like Ambrose does, it's like the set up for the 619 it just looks planned.

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  72. Do you think we'll ever get a Cena attire change at some point? I have hilarious visions of 55 year old Cena wrestling looking like a 10 year old with the jorts.

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  73. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 1:51 AM

    I think he's always going to wear shorts. Don't think he'll ever switch to tights. But like he changed from jean shorts to cargo shorts I'm sure at some point he'll change the fabric. I wouldn't be surprised if he switched to the Brock style of shorts eventually, sans the Jimmy Johns sponsorship.

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  74. Writers just can't book more than one decent thing at a time. Look how uninteresting Rollins has become since the focus has moved onto the U.S title matches on Raw, coming off Mania he was on fire.

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  75. "it's like the set up for the 619 it just looks planned."


    that bothers you in a world where not stopping yourself from being irish whipped is a thing?


    How about people who powerbomb kidman?


    How about people who try to clothesline Cena after getting shoulderblocked only for him to duck it for the millionth time then giving the protobomb during his 5 moves of doom sequence?

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  76. I'd prefer it if Charlie Cox interfered.

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  77. "But it's always been that way!" isn't really a great argument for it being the best way to do things. I like Scisco's idea for how finishers should work.

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  78. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 2:02 AM

    This is just blatant ass kissing and you've earned yourself an upvote.

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  79. I'm not saying its a good argument for it working but I also don't think "they should do things like the UFC" is a good alternative. Me personally I get a lot more enjoyment and I'm a lot more entertainment by the showmanship of a big finisher than two guys on the mat wrestling around trying to find a finisher. Its just not the WWE style. I think if you want guys fighting off submissions and anything to be more "UFC" like there is Japan and ROH for you. I'll take guys hitting big finishers a few times a match over that. It was entertaining when they were doing it in the Attitude Era and I think its entertaining now.

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  80. Wonder if Cena will win back the title at the next PPV...or even tonight on raw...probably will and kill all KO's momentum

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  81. I am a grown ass man who has paid physical United States currency to see Jeff Jarrett, and outside of Owens/Cena, even I wouldn't pay $9.99 a month to see this shit

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  82. He's always going to wear shorts its like asking if Ric Flair is ever going to stop wearing trunks or is he going to be 70 wrestling in his underwear.

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  83. It was non title which clearly means you haven't been paying attention at all so maybe you shouldn't worry about momentum and things like that and just focus on paying attention to whatever you're bitching about.

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  84. Oh your right. But still and regardless....my point still stands

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  85. No title was on the line.

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  86. At least Jericho needed copious amounts of interference to beat stars like Rock and Austin. Rollins needs help to beat a guy who jobbed to a tv 6 months ago.

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  87. At least they try variations on it, like Orton hitting the powerslam out of the rebound, or a double rebound clothesline on J and J. It will become tiresome sooner than later, though.

    ReplyDelete
  88. His right what?

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  89. No, no, no. Let's complain about how Ambrose isn't in the main event.
    No, no, no! Let's now complain about how Rollins isn't protected enough as a slimy heel.
    NO! Let's complain again about something that happened six months ago.

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  90. Those Elimination Chamber matches were terrible and those involved, especially the IC title match should feel ashamed.

    I didn't think much of the main event as it was the same as every Seth Rollins' match until the punked out ending, which was fun.

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  91. So the top 3 matches of main WWE so far based solely on star ratings are:

    John Cena vs Kevin Owens (Elimination Chamber '15)
    Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar (Wrestlemania 31)
    Seth Rollins vs John Cena vs Brock Lesnar (Royal Rumble '15)

    ReplyDelete
  92. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 3:48 AM

    Haven't seen Owens/Cena but the other two are definitely in my Top 3.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Lets have short memories like WWE tells us to.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Would you squeeze any NXT matches in there or don't you consider that "WWE"?

    ReplyDelete
  95. That one was really a screwjob finish because HHH was never actually covering Shawn in the first place; only Shawn was making a pin, therefore it didn't matter what his shoulders were doing, therefore he was the winner of the match.

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  96. Falling exactly onto the middle rope is so coincidental considering Rey has a move just for that situation. The fact it only ever happens to Reys opponents makes it look contrived
    I can accept people can sometimes have better balance awareness to stop an irish-whip, and it's not odd that a guy like Kidman could think of a way to counter a powerbomb. The fact Rey sells it as an unexpected advantage with his body language, getting that "holy shit" look on his face before turning hurriedly and running the ropes, doesn't help.

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  97. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 1, 2015 at 4:26 AM

    Do you have an opinion on the show or are you just here to be a douche to others?

    ReplyDelete
  98. I think he should just run into the ropes himself to get the momentum instead of always needing to be knocked into it, that way the reversal would have a better impact from a psychological stand point (I'm aware how wanky that sounds).

    ReplyDelete
  99. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!June 1, 2015 at 4:30 AM

    So...Kevin Owens:
    New ruler of everything, or
    Fat guy and they're bored in the summer?

    I'll go Anti-Farva and say, damn that porker can get it!

    ReplyDelete
  100. The Authority coming back has diminished him significantly since Mania, Seth should have put Kane on the shelf the seco second he became a problem.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Well he is right. I dont think ANYONE has beaten Cena clean twice in a row. At least ever since he stopped being a rapper. You're* in a bad mood today.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Owens now will job to Cena at the next four PPVs. And shouldn't their rematch be for the U.S. Title?

    ReplyDelete
  103. Title Vs Title so Vince can put John on NXT to give it the boost it needs ;)

    ReplyDelete
  104. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 4:38 AM

    Counting NXT my top 3 is Rumble Triple Threat, Brock/Roman, Balor/Neville from the February NXT show.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Triple S upvoted that didnt he?

    ReplyDelete
  106. So Mike Graham was wrong about Jarrett....

    ReplyDelete
  107. I mentioned this last night, but it wouldnt have hurt for 2 weeks. It would have erased his horrible booking last year, and it would create an interesting dynamic that reigns is the only one not to win the belt.

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  108. The IC title match was bad, but that shouldn't be surprising. I would imagine that Elimination Chamber matches require a lot of planning -- it's not one of those "Let's just get in there and call it" matches. Having a last-minute injury replacement and the (presumably) unplanned event of Henry's pod opening early surely threw everything off script.

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  109. Wow. I always thought you were in your 20's.

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  110. I think it should be enough that Cena will lose clean once to rookies like Bray Wyatt, Rusev and Kevin Owens. Losing clean twice in a row is asking more of Cena than any other top guy. I don't recall Austin or Rock losing clean twice in a row to anybody, let alone rookies and new guys WWE was trying to get over. And those guys definitely never took a main-event total ass-kicking like Cena has taken from Brock. Cena's willingness to put guys over really shouldn't be questioned at this point.

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  111. Fruity Pebbles sponsorship, maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  112. I was wondering the same thing. I admire his professionalism.

    ReplyDelete
  113. C'mon scott. They gave that awful "blood is thicker than water" promo. As for how they turned babyfaces? Fuck if I know.

    ReplyDelete
  114. I was shocked, then a second later thought, "And here comes the f**kery..."

    ReplyDelete
  115. Well he did start wearing a shirt.

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  116. I'm not going to begrudge the crowd for enjoying the show, even if they're kinda forcing it.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Why Stardust, of all people?

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  118. Point is they don't need to book the immediate rematch where you get stuck in that corner of having to beat the guy that just beat Cena

    ReplyDelete
  119. Are they even having a July PPV? Usually that would've been MITB, so I think they're just gonna go from MITB in June to SummerSlam as the next PPV.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Oh yeaaahhhh, Owens/Cena was the good stuff. Kudos to the announcers for putting the match over so strongly and calling it like a big fight. Owens vs. The World is the best feud this year.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Also, it seemed like the other wrestlers either forgot about the Sheamus-getting-stuck thing, or they weren't told. They all seemed legitimately surprised and unsure of what to do when he didn't come out.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 5:07 AM

    Battleground is on July 19 in St. Louis. They moved MITB to June last year which is just weird.

    ReplyDelete
  123. I think NXT is a different entity. I thought the Ladies 4 Way and Sasha vs Becky as being the best two matches from NXT this year

    ReplyDelete
  124. Doctor FunkopolisJune 1, 2015 at 5:09 AM

    Weekly network specials!

    ReplyDelete
  125. Way to treat a new guy on the blog. And you get on other people's cases for being negative.

    ReplyDelete
  126. We still need Payback Scott. I cant wait to read your.commentary on the Rusev/Cena fight.

    ReplyDelete
  127. I think he did once. Didnt he? I dont know he did it so many damn times I cant keep track.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Waiting for the Payback rant Scott. I noticed you didn't do the 2013 edition either. Hoping you still find the time.

    ReplyDelete
  129. So is a non title match a title match even, if the title isn't on the line, but because you are fighting the one with the title?

    ReplyDelete
  130. I wondered that too. Maybe Cena is dropping the title in the next two weeks?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Yeah, I do manage to stay hip and contemporary.

    ReplyDelete
  132. 30 minutes of utter shit. 1 star

    ReplyDelete
  133. New Day had all 3 guys in because they went to Kane before and demanded a favor in return for helping beat Reigns and Orton weeks ago, so I was fine with that. Why they allowed the Bull to stay in, less clear.

    ReplyDelete
  134. My friend that I usually watch with HATES Owens, and in fact sent me a text that said he's not watching the product until Ambrose or Lesnar wins the title.

    He's "Gedo wins the Super J Cup" pissed.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I assumed that Steen vs Lawler would have happened around 10 years ago...not LAST AUGUST!!

    ReplyDelete
  136. Sure. There's definitely a way to do the spot without burning it out.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 5:44 AM

    Lesnar just had the title! And Ambrose won it....for about a minute.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Yeah, WCW used to have a lot of that back in the day- guys like DDP & Sting trying desperately to hit each other's big moves and reversing them. The Cruiserweights always did it too.

    WWF/E used to do it, but it tended to be easier stuff that more plodding guys could do- Triple-H and the Rock were always reversing finisher attempts with a simple kick to the stomach instead of rolling out of anything.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Yep save the three way for Mania.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Barrett should probably start making calls to Jeff Jarrett, it's over for him in WWE.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Doctor FunkopolisJune 1, 2015 at 5:57 AM

    I do not understand the Barrett thing. They clearly like him, they're always giving him time and making it a point to tell us how much they think of him.

    But they are bound and determined to job him out, every time.

    It's almost as if they are trying to address the 50/50 booking, but they're only going to do it via Barrett.

    It's especially jarring because they have guys like Ryder, Truth and the tag guys they don't care about as a single that could be pulling this competitive job duty.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Match was non-title

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  143. He just does it so slow and sloppy unlike Nigel

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  144. Yea he did it like 3 times atleast in the Payback main event

    ReplyDelete
  145. WWE has, for the most part, done a really good job of retraining the audience to expect less in the newer era, whatever we want to call it. We don't have guys throwing 50 German suplexes, or gushing gallons of blood, or taking sick, unprotected chairshots to the head.


    If they could just get started retraining the audience to not expect 10 finishers in a match, that'd be nice. We're at the point where it's more of a shock to beat a guy with one finishing move. All it would take is making a rule that finishers are to be protected and stick with it a while, and the audience will get with it.

    ReplyDelete
  146. As soon as Lawler mentioned this match, I thought that the promos were probably pretty great.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Whoa.... Was that on the pre-show?

    ReplyDelete
  148. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 6:33 AM

    Because Kane would chokeslam him/Triple H would fire him/Stephanie would have him chemically castrated. Take your pick.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 6:36 AM

    Because Arrow is a comic book character, and Stardust is basically a comic book character, talking about the cosmic key and whatnot. There is actually a logic to it.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Very good show! I was a bit sad that Ambrose got the Dusty finish. Would have nice too see him get a mini run with the belt

    ReplyDelete
  151. Holy shit, Windows is offering a free upgrade to Windows 10 for all Windows 7 and 8 users in July.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I feel like I took a chairshot to the head after watching both of those chamber matches.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Old news, dude. They mentioned that sometime last year.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Yay! My Windows 8 is terrible. "FIND AN APP FOR THIS" it says and I just want to throw my laptop onto jagged rocks.

    ReplyDelete
  155. So rather than the chambers making the secondary titles look special, it just ended up making the chambers look less special?

    ReplyDelete
  156. Is your friend a little child?

    ReplyDelete
  157. Owens just got put over in the most definitive way possible and people here are still complaining "he'll get beat next month, so it doesn't matter". Can you not just enjoy that it happened in the first place? Fuck, some of the guys on here are just desperately miserable.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 6:59 AM

    Finally watching the IC EC match. An Elimination Chamber match should not put me to sleep. This is terri-bad. Ryback winning is fine, but seriously, why does R Truth get an elimination in EVERY ONE of these matches? What does he have on the McMahon family?

    ReplyDelete
  159. I guess you just don't want to be on the receiving end of one of those angry emails of his

    ReplyDelete
  160. Had to up vote you there. Everyone here bitches and whines about WWE but wouldn't dare to watch an indie show.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 7:01 AM

    Man, this Texas crowd is stupid. Couldn't take the "YES!" cues from D-Bry? They must had their IQs lowered by that IC Title match.

    ReplyDelete
  162. I think many people are happy about the match and the result. They just don't wan't Owen's great run so far to be derailed by getting beat in a series of rematches. The way he is being pushed right now though it seems he is going to have a dominant run.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Steve "Arrow" Amell

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  164. I don't understand their handling of Barrett at all - he's decent enough in the ring (and has definitely had a number of really good matches), great on the mic, is absolutely huge, has legit fighting/badass cred, and seems like a total pro and all-around nice guy. And they constantly book him as cowardly and a loser.

    What gives? I really think a face turn would do him a world of good, the crowd was definitely getting into him as "Bad News" tweener.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Since becoming King Barrett I thought he would be more protected. He does lose alot, but like most mid-carders i'm not that shocked when he pulls out a win over another mid carder.

    ReplyDelete
  166. So, with all the work the same except the finish, if LOLCENAWINS, does it still get the same star rating?

    ReplyDelete
  167. They were awful all night. You going to Summerslam?

    ReplyDelete
  168. You thought Dallas/Neville was the worst match on the show?

    ReplyDelete
  169. Actually it was for beating down Reigns and Ambrose on Smackdown days earlier.

    ReplyDelete
  170. What are you waiting for?

    ReplyDelete
  171. Maybe his physical currency was only pennies

    ReplyDelete
  172. Dallas/Neville didn't set the world on fire or anything, but it was a much better match than that IC cluster. That was a really, actively bad match.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 1, 2015 at 7:18 AM

    General lack of interest in WWE right now and not having the Network.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Maybe he'll switch to those cutoff dad sweatpant shorts when he gets older.

    ReplyDelete
  175. The main event was technically a decent little match, but for whatever reason just didn't manage to get me particularly invested.

    ReplyDelete
  176. I immediately lost interest in the IC title match when everyone got to the ring and I realized some new, exciting choice for IC champ wasn't coming out to join the match.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 7:19 AM

    I work Sunday nights, and I'm not sure I can get out of it. I should ask, though. I'd love to go.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Agree. Thought Neville/Dallas was solid, actually. A **1/2 match if you ask me. I wouldn't give the Divas and IC match **1/2 combined

    ReplyDelete
  179. I'll be there. After the dreadful Long Island Raw last week, I think I'm skipping the Raw after, also at Barclays. I'm sure I'll regret that one though.

    ReplyDelete
  180. I do believe the IC title is cursed.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Yeah I was at two and a half also. And they were in the death slot after Cena/Owens so they get a bit of credit for that too.

    ReplyDelete
  182. I enjoyed the hell out of the tag EC match - I don't know why everyone is so down on it.


    Cesaro's dropkick. Fucking hell. Is there anything that dude is bad at in the ring (that doesn't involve talking)?

    ReplyDelete
  183. Extant1979 - Extreme SuperstarJune 1, 2015 at 7:30 AM

    Just checked on tickets, Ticketmaster sold out and StubHub has upper bowl, limited view seats starting at $125. Might be too rich for my blood. I might just do Raw instead.

    ReplyDelete
  184. I think it's more "how can we make Barrett 'pay dues' this week, kids?"

    ReplyDelete
  185. He's even improved his mannerisms which were a HUGE weakness for him (neck crack excluded). He's fighting "in character" now instead of just being an awesome move set. I can't believe how much Tyson Kidd is rubbing off on him that way. Or that Kidd has so much personality now that he can rub off on people.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Funny thing is that, although he was always talented, I hated watching Kidd when he was with Hart in that boring as hell tag team.

    He's absolute must-see viewing now. He and Cesaro are brilliant together, too.

    Totally agree with you on Cesaro, btw. He's really got the whole package completely in sync now. Which is why their booking of him is ridiculous.


    Really want to see him and Harper go at it for a 20 minute absolute thunderfuck of a match. They can knock seven bells out of one another AND bring the technical stuff too.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Alright...the Network was free though. It seems to always be free. But it was worth the $10 for sure. Even if you have zero interest, that didn't get you curious at all to watch live?

    ReplyDelete
  188. Kidd four years ago was Cesaro last year. A really cool moveset with no personality.

    ReplyDelete
  189. The annoying thing with Kidman was you would have people who have never done a powerbomb in their life try it to set up that spot. It eventually became really contrived.

    ReplyDelete
  190. That's like getting offered an anal bleeding cure when you already have AIDS.

    ReplyDelete
  191. I'm looking forward to it. I like 8 for what it is, and 10 seems to have fixed a lot of issues. Plus, I'm curious to see how my Windows phone, my laptop, and my desktop will all work together.

    ReplyDelete
  192. I didn't hate the dusty finish as much as most people seemed to. I think it fits the Rollins character to win in such a cheap way and I don't want Ambrose winning the title anyways, so I was fine with it.

    ReplyDelete
  193. Cena has been on a hell of a streak of good matches ever since he won the US title (Boring Rusev matches excluded.) Cena's always good but he's really been on fire lately.

    ReplyDelete
  194. Doctor FunkopolisJune 1, 2015 at 8:03 AM

    Being a coward is fine, but cowards can't be losers too. The cowardice has to be a mechanism that allows them to win. These days, being a coward is how these guys keep from getting beat instead of how these guys win.

    The only exception for me is Honky Tonk Man. But even he was allowed to squash jobbers.

    Like, what did Rollins do that was so dastardly? He pulled the ref in the way. That's step one, they never gave him a step two.

    So you did the ref thing...do something else! Grab the belt, grab a chair, shoot a fire extinguisher in his face.

    For God's sake, it's Dean Ambrose. Hit him with the Mountie's taser. He's done more undignified things and at least in this case he would have overcome it.

    ReplyDelete
  195. Paige competing with Cena on who can call a spot louder in the ring

    ReplyDelete
  196. The selection of the wrestlers should have been a little more special. Throwing a cage around Los Matadores, Lucha Dragons (who I like but are not established as anything), Prime Time Players and the Ascension, or every directionless guy in the company who's probably already peaked isn't going to raise the excitement factor that much.

    ReplyDelete
  197. "But uhh, how about you keep defending this for a few more weeks with no mention of the match that just happened? Then I'll show up."

    ReplyDelete
  198. Owens/Cena was good, great even. But ****3/4? Damn, that's a little high. Matt gave it *****! That's crazy, Bret/Austin this WAS NOT. I think the shock of Owens winning clean has led to some overrating this. It reminds me of Punk/Cena at MITB; while a good match, in hindsight, it's clearly overrated thanks to the big shock at the end. And personally, Cena has lost before, I wasn't really shocked by it. I just enjoyed it immensely.

    ReplyDelete

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