The SmarK DVD Rant for The Rock: Just Bring It!
Comment by brian_solo 2008-03-29 11:34:30
"Finished with the People’s Fellatio, Scott?"
What, are you new here?
- So this is the sequel to "The People's Champ" DVD, which covered 1999, and this one covers 2000-2001, because you can never have enough Rock.
- Hosted by the Rock, again.
- Rock talks about the beginning of the "Just bring it" catchphrase, and we follow him into the lock room in Louisiana, where he harasses the showering Kurt Angle and makes fun of Perry Saturn.
- Next , the portion where we're all supposed to get excited about the Mummy Returns and go buy the DVD. Wow, that's a very sneaky cross-promotional tactic, sucking us in with a Rock DVD and then shilling a movie.
- Rock talks about his promos and how he only does live ones, never pre-tapes. He always liked to personalize the interviews for the city to connect with the fans. (2011 Scott sez: Time and Hollywood sure changed his policy about not doing pre-taped interviews)
- From Fully Loaded 2000: Weird, there's suddenly a huge gap in my DVD where match highlights would normally be. I THOUGHT I heard someone from the WWE breaking into my office last night and swapping discs on me.
- Dateline: Shea Stadium. The Rock does a photo shoot with Mike Piazza. This was in support of a fluff piece in USA Today about which sport is America's real pastime: Wrestling or baseball? These days, it's which one is steroid dealers' favorite pastime?
- From No Mercy 2000: Kurt Angle wins his first WWF title from the Rock, back when that was considered a huge upset and Kurt wasn't quite the wrestling machine he'd become later.
- Rock talks about how he's kind of like Superman, but he sells more.
- From Survivor Series 2000: Rock does his damnedest to make a star out of Rikishi. I don't remember a darn thing about that show, actually. There was a point when Rock v. Rikishi could have been a big money feud, but they just never knew what to do with Rikishi as a heel.
- Behind the scenes of yet another WWF CD flop, as Rock sings "Pie" with Slick Rick.
- Back to wrestling, as Rock well and truly takes Kurt Angle from here (some point a few inches from the ground) to HERE (as my arm strains to stretch as high as it can go) with one match, creating Crazy Motherfucker Angle and getting the World title back in the process. I love this match so very, very much, and if only the stupid portion with the Big Show's pointless run-in was omitted, it might have been *****. Kurt Angle screaming "TAP OUT OR I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" is a thing of beauty. (2011 Scott sez: Of course Angle took his crazy motherfucker character a bit too far into real life later on)
- Rock talks about how much he loves working with Steve Austin, which naturally leads into the highlights of Wrestlemania X-7. Rock says "buyrate" more times per DVD than anyone I've ever heard. This is another match was ALMOST perfect, if only they had just booked Austin to go over clean and then done their silly bullshit on some other show. What's really amazing is watching their 99 Wrestlemania main event and then watching how much more complex and brutal this one was compared to it, only two years later. The Rock is truly a guy who tried to better his artform with every match.
- The next night on RAW, Rock challenges Austin in a cage match, but HHH joins with Austin as the Two Man Powertrip and destroys him. And so Rock leaves to make The Scorpion King.
- And hey, let's hear about the Scorpion King now. I've seen it a few times, still enjoy it, so I'd call it a success.
- And more fluff about the Mummy Returns as we really hammer home the point of this DVD. Everyone predicts he's going to be a big huge movie star. And so he is.
- July 2001: Rock returns into the mess that is the Alliance storyline and joins Team WWF. Oddly enough, back in the days when WCW was going to be spun off as a separate show, Rock was intended to become the lead babyface for WCW Mark II.
- Summerslam 2001: Rock wins the WCW World title from Booker T in a match where they just didn't mesh like they could have. Which is weird, because Booker generally works up to the level of his opponent.
- Rock talks about abusing Kevin Kelly and why he calls him a hermaphrodite? Because he has both sets of genitalia, is his theory.
- Dateline: Omaha. Rock hangs out at Gold's Gym and signs autographs for everyone, because he's a cool guy.
- Rock gets honoured by the Make-A-Wish Foundation after 30 different kids had their one wish of meeting him. Apparently Chuck Norris got the award as well, although you'd think he'd have just beaten up the diseases and cured the kids.
WWF World title: Kurt Angle v. The Rock.
This is from No Way Out 2001, and includes the classic "tick tock, tick tock" promo from the Rock in a video package. It also includes the pre-match interview with Rock and Michael Cole's frosted boy band hair. Angle attacks to start, but Rock hits him with a lariat out of the corner and they slug it out. Rock elbows him down and follows with a legsweep for two, but Angle fights back with a clothesline and stomps him down. Rock slugs back, but Angle takes him down into the anklelock, forcing Rock to make the ropes. Angle hits him with a pair of belly to belly suplexes, so Rock fires back with his own. He follows quickly with the Scorpion King Deathlock, but Angle makes the ropes. Rock keeps coming with a samoan drop for two. Angle comes back with a backdrop suplex and goes up, but Rock crotches him and brings him down with a superplex for two. Angle dumps him and Rock teases a leg injury, so Angle hauls him in and DDTs him. And with both out, we get a walk-in by the Big Show, as he chokeslams everyone (including the ref) and then leaves. I still have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish. Angle gets the cover out of that, for two. Funny bit there as Earl Hebner and Tim White carry the poor traumatized ref out, but Earl drops him to make the count. He's a REFEREE, dammit, that's what he does! Rock recovers and hits Angle with the title, for two. Rock is openly limping now, so Angle POUNCES and hooks the anklelock, then hauls Rock into the middle of the ring, slams the knee on the mat, and hooks it again. This gives us the classic "TAP OUT OR I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ANKLE!" quote, but Rock makes the ropes. Kurt keeps on the leg, but Rock fights up until his leg gives out, which allows Angle to pound on him. Rock gets a desperation spinebuster and People's Elbow, but that only gets two. Nice touch with Rock limping during the Elbow. The crowd chants "bullshit" at Angle kicking out of it, because THAT'S the ludicrous thing -- someone kicking out of the People's Elbow. It's amazing how something so silly can become a deadly finisher. Rock gets upset with the ref, which allows Angle to hit him in the People's Junk, and he undoes a turnbuckle for full heel effect. Rock tries Rock Bottom, but Angle sends him into the steel, and into an Angle Slam for two. Where's the bullshit chant now, Las Vegas? Rock slugs away in the corner, but Angle goes with the easy solution and kicks him in the leg, so Rock sends him into the steel and it's Rock Bottom...for two. Angle didn't actually kick out, but the ref stopped counting for some reason. So Rock hits another one and regains the WWF title at 16:52. This was a war of attrition, although you have to know that given another year of development for Angle it would have had another 10 minutes of trading finishers added onto it. ****1/2
The Rock v. Booker T & Shane McMahon.
From Unforgiven 2001. Rock & Booker slug it out, and Rock lariats him. Neckbreaker gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Shane comes in and runs away, but Rock cuts him off and pounds him. Cheapshot puts Rock down, and a Booker sideslam gets two. They work him over, but Shane gets suplexed in melodramatic fashion. He comes back with that dreaded Shane Shuffle, but gets Sharpshooted. Booker dumps him and Shane gets yet another cheapshot, and a clothesline off the railing for good measure. Back in, Rock gets posted and Booker gets two. Rock tosses him, but Shane then tosses Rock in turn. Rock & Book do some brawling, and The Book gets the best of that. Back in, the delayed kneedrop sets up the SPINAROONI, which again gets a scary heel pop. Rock, however, oblivious to the potential damaging nature of the Most Electrifying Move In Sportz Entertainment, rolls up Booker for two. Book tosses Rock again, and abuses the Spanish table. Shane sets up for the Suicide Elbow, but Rock moves before anything can happen. Back in, Rock gets the samoan drop, but Shane grabs the WCW title…and hits Booker by mistake. Well, it’s officially a Shane-booked match now. He does manage to hit Rock eventually, and gets two. Shane goes up, but misses the elbow. Book & Rock slug it out, and Rock clotheslines both guys. DDT on Booker gets two. Shane nails him and goes for the McElbow, but Rock kips up and hits Rock Bottom. Spinebuster for Booker, but Test runs in and creams Rock, because I guess Rocky fending off only two guys and a crooked ref isn’t enough melodrama. Bradshaw chases off Test, yelling something about turning Toronto into a parking lot, I think, and they head into the audience. Nick Patrick hauls the fallen Rock in, but now Mike Ciota runs in to protest. He pulls Shane off at two, then Booker gets two. The refs brawl, Rock Bottom on Booker follows, and Earl Hebner runs in on the side of justice to make the pinfall at 15:24. WAY long and overbooked for what it was, which is namely an overhyped Smackdown main event. **3/4 This feud just never clicked at all.
Street Fight: The Rock v. Shane McMahon
From RAW in 2001. Shane accidentally loses his kendo stick, and so gets his ass kicked to start. Rock dumps him with a clothesline, but Shane fights back with a clothesline and sends Rock into the stairs. Rock one-ups him by throwing him into the crowd, and they fight up the stairs. Rock wins that battle, but back at ringside Shane uses a trashcan to regain the advantage. They fight up the ramp and Rock swings from the bottom of the Titantron and then beats Shane down with more trashcans. Nice spot as he puts the can on Shane's head, then chairshots him down the ramp. Back into the ring, Shane finally gets his stick back and recovers enough to beat on the Rock with it. Booker runs in to no great effect, and Rock finishes Shane with Rock Bottom at 8:49. This was the typical "walk around the arena" style brawl in lieu of actual fighting, and it was kind of boring in fact. ** However, Shane drops an elbow from the top rope to the announce table after the win, which might have added another star to the match.
- From Smackdown: Lillian tries to interview the Rock, but he puts the moves on her and gets her all flabbergasted and wet...with perspiration. Apparently she wants a piece of the People's Strudel more than anything. And then because he's awesome, he turns it around and immediately brushes her off. That part is classic and Rock's body language is hilarious, the rest of the promo is forgettable.
- From Smackdown: Kevin Kelly tries to interview Rock, but Rock is distracted by a previous nose-picking incident and punishes him for it.
- From RAW: Kurt Angle meets up with Rock and suggests that he enjoys strudel. Rock clarifies: He loves PIE. Not strudel. This of course all goes over Kurt's head.
- Carrying on, Angle gives Rock a copy of his book, and it leads to a singing contest.
- From RAW: Rock has to choose a partner for Test to face him in a handicap match. He needs someone fast, easy, and with no testicles, so that only leaves Stephanie. Rock sings "Here comes the Test, and the ho with the enormous breasts" to commemorate the occasion, which is likely why this is here. That and Rock making the "Keep your eyes up here" gesture to Michael Cole on multiple occasions.
- And finally, Rock meets Bill Gates at CES 2001, unveiling my all-time favourite console...the Xbox.
Yeah, that's a pretty weak collection, I admit it. It's mainly a hype piece for his movies more than anything. Apparently they re-released it with a second disc of matches later on, but given the Rock's almost total non-involvement during the period this set covers I'm not actually sure why they bothered. Oh yeah, cash, silly me.
Recommendation to avoid.