Skip to main content

Assorted April PPV Countdown: Backlash 2003

The SmarK Rant for Backlash 2003

“As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. And really, that's all this is, except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you, so let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so... be honest. How do you feel?”?

Sometimes a show just leaves you with no choice but to quote The Princess Bride.

(2012 Scott sez:  One of those movies where I’m compelled to drop everything and watch it if it’s on TV.  Thankfully I haven’t checked if it’s on Netflix because otherwise I’d never get any work done.) 

- As most of you have probably figured out or read by now, when I do PPVs, I watch them live with friends the first time through, and then take the tape home and watch it alone for the actual rant. (Those of you who have noted about my differing reactions to live and delayed shows will understand the logic behind this method, I’m sure.)  This was one of those shows where I wasn’t looking forward to watching it and once I had watched it, I wasn’t looking forward to watching it again. Why? Well, first and foremost it wasn’t a card that held promise in either direction for my best work – I’m most proficient with shows that are either uniformly terrible or uniformly great, and the bland buildup and dull card for this one didn’t exactly foreshadow either outcome. (Sound familiar?) Second, a bunch of guys I like watching, like Benoit, Rhyno and Matt Hardy to name three, were absent from the card for absolutely no reason other than the writers being unable to think of any way to make them fit.  (Sound familiar? Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder, etc.)  Third, the issues developed in a couple of matches aren’t leading anywhere I have any interest in seeing, and what’s worse, they’re the matches that are supposed to headline the next PPV. This is a company that’s supposed to have the deepest talent pool in history, so deep they needed to split into two separate brands because gosh darnit there’s just so much talent, and what’s the next programs to carry the company? Brock-Big Show in a program that didn’t draw the first two times we saw it (which was only two months ago), and Nash-HHH in a program that’s being booked to amuse basically five guys while entire crowds sit on their hands.  (Good thing they’d be smart enough to avoid going that route in 2011.  Oh, wait.)  Why the fuck am I supposed to be excited about either one of those? Or Nathan Jones & Undertaker v. The FBI, for that matter. Or Hulk Hogan limping to the ring as Mr. America. Are there actually people (i.e. Vince) who are sitting there and thinking this stuff is INTERESTING? There used to be a time when TSN pre-empting RAW for hockey would piss me off for days, now I’m more curious about whether Anaheim can go up 3-0 on Dallas than I am about whether Nash & HHH will reconcile.  (Anaheim made it to the Stanley Cup finals that year, in fact, but lost to New Jersey.  In case you’re curious.)  And when were Nash & HHH ever FRIENDS in the storylines, to begin with? It’s all the little things like that which annoy me the most, and the overall product is boring me to tears right now, which is why you’re reading this rant as late as you are, because I can’t be bothered to stay up until 2AM recapping the same crap month after month if they can’t be bothered to give me something I’m entertained by.

- Update: Although I typed the above up at 12:00, I was still so unmotivated to watch the show that I decided to take a walk and pick up some groceries first, just so I could formulate some more thoughts.

- Live from Worcester, MA.

- Your hosts are Coach, King, Cole & Tazz.

- Weird thing about the opening video package is that they use the numbers from Goldberg’s WCW winning streak to hype the match, but they never really ACKNOWLEDGE that streak or his past history on RAW while building up to the match.

- Opening match, Smackdown tag titles: Team Angle v. Los Guerreros.

Team Angle has a very classy portrait of Kurt Angle with them for inspiration, which you’d think would fall under the Birthday Cake Rule. Eddie jockeys with Haas to start and takes him down, but Haas floats over for two. Eddie works on a headlock and overpowers him for two. Small package gets two as Eddie goes for the quick win, and Haas backs off. Why the Guerreros are cool: Because Chavo actually uses the tag rope, although to be fair, so does Benjamin. Speaking of which, they tag in and Chavo gets caught in a wristlock, but gets an awkward legbar takedown for two, which Benjamin reverses for two. Chavo goes for the arm and Eddie helps out on it and pounds Benjamin with forearms for two. Chavo stays on the arm with a cross armlock, but Benjamin makes the ropes. Speaking of which, Undertaker was at the UFC on Friday night, presumably teaching all the kids how to do a proper triangle choke. (I’d like to see him coaching on Ultimate Fighter and teaching sledgehammer defense while applying a gogoplata.)  A little cheating by the Guerreros keeps Shelton in the Latino corner, and ref distraction allows Chavo to choke him out with the tag rope. Good man, although Cole justifies it with “Turnabout is fair play”, which is not only trite, but incorrect, since Team Angle hasn’t cheated yet.  (Also, if turnabout is fair play, then how come two wrongs don’t make a right?)  Chavo tosses him and Eddie pounds him on the floor, and Chavo hits a backdrop suplex for two. Eddie comes in with the hilo dive for two. Another backdrop suplex seems to shake up Benjamin, and he tags out to Haas and sits in the corner for a while. Haas gets a backdrop and Benjamin recovers with some choking of his own, and a suplex for two. Leapfrog choke gets two for Haas. Haas stomps away with malice for two, and hits the chinlock. Eddie suplexes out with the nastiest backdrop in wrestling, but Haas does a nice takedown to cut off the tag. Team Angle switches off without a tag (Sure, I can see how the ref would mix them up…) and Benjamin cuts off the tag again with a leglock. I would have popped huge if he had locked in the heelhook like Minoru Tanaka. Powerslam gets two, and he hits the chinlock, wearing Eddie down into a pinning predicament for two. Haas comes in and stomps away again, into a backbreaker submission move. Haas tries a gutwrench, but Eddie reverses to a flying headscissors, and then dives into the hot tag to Chavo. He cleans house with dropkicks and backdrops and all that fun stuff, and Team Angle collides in the corner. Suplex gets two on Haas. Benjamin kills him dead with a powerbomb, but Eddie comes off the top with a missile dropkick and then starts with the rolling vertical suplexes on Haas. Chavo crawls over for two. He gets another dropkick and Eddie comes in uninvited with a frog splash, thus earning him a trip back to the apron again. Chavo gets two regardless, but Benjamin pulls him off at two. Chavo suplexes Haas, but Benjamin trips him up and hangs on to give Haas the pin at 15:03. Chavo dives onto the celebrating champions, but the picture survives the attack, and Los Guerreros steal the titles to add another cliché to the mix. Good match, although nothing you haven’t seen on Smackdown a million times. ***  (The Guerreros eventually did regain the belts on the same show as the Brock-Angle iron man match, although by then there were much bigger plans for Eddie in the works anyway.  And I feel like this was underrated by me.) 

- Meanwhile, Test forces himself on Torrie.

- Sean O’Haire v. Rikishi.

O’Haire meets the stairs right away as they brawl outside, and Rikishi gets a pair of clotheslines back in and a samoan drop. Piper tries to interfere and gets caught, allowing O’Haire to get a superkick and take over. That whole sequence was really poorly done. Piper gets some lame shots in, and O’Haire hits him with a corner clothesline and a lariat for two. Crowd completely loses interest as he goes to a neck vice. Why they completely forced O’Haire to change his high-flying style to this lumbering heavyweight WWE style is beyond me, but it’s not for the better. The crowd gets annoyed by security taking a beach ball away and O’Haire gets two. Why does security take beach balls away, anyway? I mean, god forbid people have fun at a show they’re paying $50-$100 to see. (Only WWE Approved Fun is allowed, carried out with precision so as to meet TV taping guidelines and remain within standards set by the network sponsors.  All rights reserved.) They exchange missed kicks and Rikishi splashes him in the corner twice to set up a Stinkface, which O’Haire blocks. Piper comes in loaded for bear with a coconut, as Rikishi & O’Haire kick each other into unconsciousness. Yeah, that’s what this match needed, a spot where both guys are out. Piper comes in again with the coconut, obviously missing his cue the first time, and Rikishi hits him with it, but falls prey to O’Haire’s spinebuster for the pin at 4:52. You know, with Jeff Hardy off to make “music” and sulk for a living, the swanton bomb is free again. Piper blades off the coconut shot, and the physics of that elude me, unless it’s a REALLY abrasive shell. This doesn’t bode well for O’Haire. -*1/2  (To say the least.  What a disaster that character change turned out to be.) 

- Meanwhile, Torrie rats out Test to Stacy. I’ll save you the 15 minutes of character development that these segments entailed and just summarize the main points: Test is a lying fuckhead and Sable is a conniving bitch.

- RAW tag titles: Kane & RVD v. The Dudley Boyz.

Chief Morley is YOUR special guest referee. I don’t know how they’ve managed to take a feud with 10 different things going on at once and make it so boring, but they have. Sign in the front row: We Miss Regal. I guess HHH is making the signs now, too. Bubba hammers RVD to start and they do an awkward reversal sequence that goes nowhere. Bubba clotheslines him, but Rob gets a leg lariat for two. He walks into a lariat, allowing Bubba to bring in D-Von, but Rob catches him with the legdrop for two. Kane comes in and works the arm, and drops an elbow, then no-sells some offense from D-Von. They mess up a simple irish whip reversal spot and Kane gets a boot for two. D-Von clotheslines him for two. Bubba comes in and Kane controls him with clotheslines and pounds away in the corner, but D-Von cheapshots him and Bubba bulldogs him for two. Kane comes back with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for two. Rob comes in and gets the moonsault for two. Bubba blocks the monkey flip with a sideslam, and the Dudleyz get the Whazzup Drop. D-Von gets the spinning elbow for two, and he hits the chinlock. Bubba comes in with his own. I’ve had warm milk and antihistamine smoothies that were less effective at putting me to sleep than this match. Finally Kane gets the hot tag and hits his usual stuff, then fights off the Dudleyz’s double team attempt. RVD tags in with a missile dropkick on D-Von and hits Bubba with Rolling Thunder. D-Von hits him with the neckbreaker out of the corner, but Kane clotheslines him off the top. Morley decides to go low on Kane and gives Bubba two. With that plan having failed, he tosses Kane and charges RVD, but hits Bubba by mistake. D-Von goes after him to get revenge, but Lance Storm charges in and gets disposed of. Morley starts pounding Bubba, but gets 3D’d out of the match, leaving us without a ref. You’d think that would be a DQ at the very least. Kane cleans house and RVD finishes Bubba with a frog splash as another ref comes in to count the pin at 13:01. Boring match with an overbooked finish that’ll probably result in some form of Dusty Finish tonight on RAW. *1/2  (I think the Duds ended up with the belts, but I can’t be bothered to care enough to check.) 

- Meanwhile, Stacy confronts Torrie in the women’s locker room, where not only are a bunch of girls who aren’t even on the card hanging out, but Ivory is there wearing a towel. Did she just decide to have a shower for the hell of it?  (These days they’d be dressed in bathing suits from the Depression.) 

- Women’s title: Trish Stratus v. Jazz.

Jazz works a hammerlock to start, but Trish takes her down with La Majestral for two. Jazz hammers her on the back and gets a backbreaker, but Trish gets a clothesline for two. Jazz pounds her down again into the double chickenwing, and she stays on the back. Trish reverses a backbreaker into a gutwrench suplex that gets two, but Jazz takes her down again and buttdrops her. Trish gets a backslide, but the ref is distracted with Long and it only gets two. Jazz rolls her up for two, and starts slugging away, but Trish fires back. Trish charges and hits boot, and then the handstand rana is reversed to a Boston Crab by Jazz. Trish powers out and gets two, but Jazz reverses for one. Trish goes for the Crab herself, and then turns it into the STF in a nice touch. Jazz makes the ropes with Teddy’s help. Trish starts slugging away again and kicks her down for two. Jazz comes back with a jawbreaker and a dropkick for two. Trish escapes a suplex and hits the bulldog, but Teddy “Random Task” Long breaks up the pin by throwing his shoe at her, and then blames Whitie. Who throws a shoe? Honestly. Jazz cradles for two, and then blocks a sunset flip by holding the ropes and gets the pin and the title at 5:50. That’s probably as good as the women’s division is getting these days. **1/2

- Rey Mysterio v. Big Show.

(Why would you bring in Mysterio and then immediately stick him in there against the biggest guy on the roster instead of protecting him?)  Sign in crowd: Big Show Loves Cher. Even this crowd’s SIGNS suck. Rey evades Show to start, and then dropkicks him coming in and pounds away in the corner. Show tosses him around, however, and Rey bails. Back in, Show catches him with a backbreaker. Show whips him into the corner and chokes away. I think this match came about because Vince visualized Rey doing all the “big man/little man” spots and bumping for Show, not caring about the damage it does to expose Rey like this. Show smacks him out of the ring, so Rey grabs a chair and nails Show behind the ref’s back. Back in with a Bombs Away that gets two. Rey gets three 619s to bring Show down, but he no-sells all of it and chokeslams Rey to finish the squash at 3:45, drawing no reaction for the win. Thus you’ve killed Rey’s finisher, made him look like a jobber, and annoyed the fans with regards to a guy who’s supposed to be challenging for the title next month. Rey does a stretcher job that no one buys, and Show then reappears and smashes the prone and helpless Rey into the post, dropping him on his head and nearly killing him in the process. I still can’t believe there are people who are paid to sit around and think of stuff like this as actual good ideas towards getting ANYONE over. DUD Further, you can’t even call this PPV caliber – there’s no reason why they couldn’t have this on Smackdown.  (Rey ended up doing OK for himself, obviously, but talk about counterproductive booking.) 

- The backstage drama ends with Steiner yet again saving Stacy from Test. Who in their right mind would consider Scott Steiner, who openly brags about his sexual escapades as part of his pre-match spiel, to be a better choice of boyfriend than Test? Does anyone stop and consider the characters these people play before they write this stuff?  (Oh man, the Test-Steiner feud…good times.) 

- Smackdown World title: Brock Lesnar v. John Cena.

Cena busts what we from the hood call a “weak rhyme” before the match, and he attacks to start. Brock hammers him with knees and gets his triple backbreaker into a blockbuster slam. Vertical suplexes get two, and Brock goes to a facelock. You start throwing knees from that position and it’s over. Wrestling people don’t think that way, but I just wanted to point that out. He turns that into a fisherman’s suplex and then gorilla presses Cena before clotheslining him to the floor. Back in, Cena bails again, but gets pounded outside. Brock meets the stairs, however, and Cena takes over as a result. Brock starts bleeding, and they head back where Cena gets two. Backdrop suplex gets two, and Cena chokes him down. Elbow gets two. Reverse elbow gets two. He shoulderblocks Brock to the apron and chokes him on the ropes, then guillotines him with a legdrop to put him out again. Brock hits the post and they head back in, where Cena gets two. The excitement by Cole & Tazz isn’t shared by the crowd or anyone else. Cena hits the chinlock as I stop to ask this question: Why is it that a match like Hogan v. Vince, with two guys who don’t need the heat or the help, are given multiple ref bumps, table breaking, ladders and Roddy Piper in every effort to make it into a *** match by hook or by crook and entertain the fans, but two guys like Brock & Cena, who NEED to get over by any means in order to ensure the survival of the company, are left out here to die with a dull main event style match worked by two guys who aren’t ready to carry a main event on their own?  (Yeah, that John Cena, he needs all the help he can get to make it to main event level!) Brock escapes the chinlock, but Cena DDTs him for two. Clothesline gets two. Back to the chinlock and he gets the hooks in. Let’s go back to that point again, as you can even consider something like Test-Shane from Summerslam 99. It’s obvious they KNOW how to book show-stealing matches that make stars, and if ever there was a time to do so, it’s now. Trying to retrain fans to like wrestling is one thing, but there’s no “wrestling” here, it’s just the usual kick-and-punch offense that we’ve seen millions of times before. If you have nothing new to say with the match, it’s not going to say anything new. That seems obvious, sure, but that’s what they’re attempting to do – train guys in the homogenized WWE Main Event style until everyone is the same bland muscular mat-wrestler and then throw them out there together in interchangeable matches that the fans don’t care about. (And that’s what we have today.)  Brock makes the comeback and gets a powerslam for two, as the fans start to turn on him. They do a ref-bump fakeout and Cena goes low for two. Cena gets the somersault neckbreaker (Which we’ll call the Broken Record for lack of anything better from the announcers) for two, and Brock powers him into the corner. Cena grabs the chain, but the ref stops him, and Brock finishes with the F5 at 15:11. Throwing them out there for 15 minutes was suicide and it totally exposed both guys as not being ready. Even an 8-minute match would have fine, or throwing Benoit in there to make it a three-way and letting them both learn from him. The match, such as it was, had no real storyline to it, no psychology for the fans to follow and the finish was anticlimactic. *1/2 (Hopefully their rematch 9 years later will be better.) 

- Chris Jericho, HHH & Ric Flair v. Shawn Michaels, Booker T & Kevin Nash.

The total non-reaction to Nash’s entrance is both sad for someone making as much as he does, and funny for the same reason. All the excuses that apply to everyone else squashed by HHH over the past year – Can’t work, isn’t over, gets hurt too often – apply to Nash in SPADES and yet he’s shot to the top again with his buddy despite no justifiable reason to do so. That, my friends, is WCW logic. Speaking of WCW logic, Coach & Lawler stop and talk about the Clique as though fans at large know what they’re talking about, and then Coach notes that it was a long time ago and now they’re enemies. But since they’ve never even crossed paths in WWE canon, then logically you’d either have to conclude that they’re still friends behind the scenes (going by what those people who know about the Clique would know today) or else they were never friends to begin with (going by what those people who don’t read the internet would know). You can’t bring in a storyline point known by only 0.5% of the viewing audience and then act like it’s a big deal when HHH turns on Nash and expect it to draw money. That’s the same thing that happened to Vince Russo, with many of the same people oddly enough, and it’s crazy thinking. (2003 was not a strong year for WWE Creative in the least.)  Nash starts with HHH, but they both tag out to Michaels & Jericho without making contact. That fits with Nash’s usual workrate. Shawn jockeys with Jericho and neither guy can get their suplex, but Shawn rolls him up for two and Jericho reverses for two. Another round of that and they go into the Flair pinfall reversal sequence until Jericho slugs him down. Jericho goes for the Walls, but Shawn reverses out of it and brings in Big Poochie. Nash tosses Jericho, but stops to have an exciting jaw session with HHH and gets attacked from behind by Y2J. He boots Jericho down, however, and Booker comes in with a whiplash slam on Jericho that gets two. He chops away, but a charge hits elbow. He comes back with a flapjack for two, but gets caught in the heel corner. HHH comes in, but Booker kicks him down for two. HHH comes back with a facecrusher and chops away, but Booker slugs back. Flair and Jericho try working him over, but Booker fights out, only to walk into a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER from HHH. Booker brings in Shawn, however, and he goes after Flair and atomic drops HHH. Forearm for Flair sets up the superkick, but HHH Pedigrees him to prevent a pinfall. Jericho comes in and gets two off that. Shawn & HHH slug it out, and HHH USES THE KNEE for two. Flair’s figure-four attempt is reversed for two. Shawn slugs Flair down, but Ric hangs onto the leg and allows Jericho to come back in with a backdrop suplex on Shawn. We hit the chinlock and Shawn powers out, but Jericho clotheslines him down again. HHH starts working the leg now, which sets up Flair’s usual efforts en route to the figure-four. They exchange chops and Shawn gets an enzuigiri. The sad thing is that you’ve got these six guys, and the match I’m curious to see now is Shawn v. Flair.  (I’d have to wait a while for that one.)  Shawn tackles him down for two. Shawn makes the “hot” tag to Nash, which the crowd seems to be less than thrilled about, and Big Lazy cleans house with slams as everyone jumps into his arms and bumps for him. Big boot for Jericho and Snake Eyes for HHH (who audibly calls “sideslam” on the way down) and indeed that follows as Nash gets two. Jericho tries hammering on the Nash Machine in the corner, but he too falls victim to the Mighty Sideslam. Nash powers out of the Pedigree using Prell Power, but Jericho breaks up the powerbomb with a missile dropkick. That’s the first time in the match that Nash has left his feet. Booker hammers on Jericho to set up the axe kick, and he superkicks Flair and Spinaroonies. Jericho gets dumped and Booker follows him out while Nash & HHH discuss hair-care secrets in the aisle under the pretext of fighting. Shawn slams Flair in the ring and goes for another superkick, but Jericho breaks it up with a bulldog and Flair gets the figure-four. Nash starts dissembling the ringside table, but decides not to powerbomb HHH onto it and inside takes on both Jericho & Flair in the ring. The ref is bumped in a contrived spot that takes 10 minutes to set up, and Nash powerbombs Jericho, but falls victim to HHH’s trusty sledgehammer and gets pinned at 17:52. My theory behind the pinfall: The sledgehammer, with the added force of HHH’s hand in front of it and Nash’s own hands clearly in front of his face, totalled the equivalent of a sledgehammer blow PLUS three punches. This was pretty dull stuff overall. **1/2 And how does it build up a title match when HHH has already pinned his challenger?  (Because he clearly…hey, LOOK OVER THERE!) Maybe they can go right to the Hairbrush on a Pole match.

- The Rock v. Goldberg.

Being that this is the WWE braintrust, the first thing they do is change Goldberg’s music, having not learned the lesson taught by WCW in 1999. It sounds like something off the original Terminator soundtrack, actually. They pay a guy X million dollars a year because he was a big star in WCW, but don’t want him to be associated with WCW any longer. Figure that one out. (I think the actual reason was that they didn’t want to shell out for the WCW music because they figured that they are WWE and infallible and thus fans wouldn’t tell the difference.)  Clearly ignoring JR’s exhortations over the years that this ain’t ballet, Goldberg does leg stretches in the corner to warm up. Rock is clearly the crowd favorite here, thanks to being more entertaining, a better worker, and a WWE product. Very long stall session to start and Goldberg overpowers Rock with the LOCKUP OF DEATH. You know, just because Hulk Hogan got that over 15 YEARS AGO doesn’t mean we still need it today. Another one and Rock bails. Back in, they exchange shots and Goldberg overpowers him again and dumps him. Rock takes a long count to waste more time. WCW was at least smart enough to limit Goldberg to 5 minutes or less. More stalling as Rock waits around outside, and then he catches him with a necksnap and a lariat. Crowd eats that up. Rock slugs away, but gets hit with Goldberg’s version of the Rock Bottom. That’s the first wrestling move from Goldberg in this match. Rock sells it FOREVER and Goldberg tries a spear, but misses and lands on the floor. Yeah, take an indestructible superman character and make him SELL, great plan. Rock gets the Scorpion King Deathlock and holds it for a long time, thus making Goldberg look even weaker, but he makes the ropes. Lawler correctly points out that he took the coward’s way out. There’s no excuse for silly mistakes like that – Goldberg should have powered out. Rock goes low, but Goldberg gets a fluke spear (move #2 on the match) and both guys are out. Goldberg makes the comeback and powerslams him (move #3) and gets two. Goldberg no-sells a couple of clotheslines, but Rock hits him with a spinebuster and kips up, thus turning himself babyface by making Goldberg look like a chump. Rock Bottom gets two. I love Rock like the son I never intend to have, (Although I did have a daughter.)  but this is so manipulative on his part that he’s going to kill Goldberg out of the chute. (Other things did that, but it sure didn’t help.)  Goldberg clotheslines him to cut off the spit-punch (drawing boos), but Rock hits him with a People’s Elbow for two. That spot is just BEGGING for Goldberg to pop up and spear him. Both guys crawl around as the match drags on, and Goldberg spears him. The crowd now totally turns on Goldberg, chanting “Goldberg sucks” while Rock slowly climbs to his feet and gets speared again. Jackhammer (move #4) finishes at 13:04. The only way this could have been ANY worse was if Rock had gone over, and for a minute there I was thinking they might do that, too. This just totally exposed Goldberg as a shitty worker with a limited moveset who’s out there for the paycheque and nothing more. Not that it’s a huge shock, but you can forget him carrying the company over the summer now. 1/2*  (Yup.  I was just watching Goldberg v. Raven and Goldberg v. Hogan today, and it’s night and day how much better the WCW agents were able to lay out the matches to play to Bill’s strengths.  They were short, explosive and didn’t make Goldberg do stuff he couldn’t do.) 

The Bottom Line:

The post-Wrestlemania suckitude has now set in en force, with the worst PPV of the year so far and worst since Unforgiven. And now that they’ve screwed up all the can’t-miss WCW retreads and still need to fill a three-hour PPV every month, it’s only gonna get worse. Think about THAT and be afraid.  (This was such a forgettable and crappy year for WWE.) 

Thumbs down.

Comments

  1. Scott, my condolences on your Canucks.  :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's interesting how WCW was so much better at getting Goldberg over. That and the cruiserweight division were two of the only things they ever did better than WWF. I was a huge Goldberg mark as a kid and at Wrestlemania XIX when they ran a Goldberg teaser, I was over the moon excited. It took me all of a month to completely turn on Goldberg, realizing he couldn't work and could barely talk. By the summer, I was completely tired of the guy and at Wrestlemania XX, I was glad to see him go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's quite rare to see a condolence punctuated with a smiley. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mission accomplished, in other words.

    That was the plan from WCW's death on down: Take everything they built up in Atlanta and make it look inferior. And it worked. And the fact that they basically threw shitloads of money down the toilet to do so.......well, every plan has it's flaws.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Artist_Formerly_Known_as_KtuluApril 23, 2012 at 12:20 AM

    "You whiskerbiscuit, bald-headed bitch!"

    God I love Hollywood Rock. I really hope he turns heel soon and resurrects that character.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think you actually shortchanged the Lesnar vs. Cena match. It wasn't great, but it was at least **-**1/2 stars in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Cena gets the somersault neckbreaker (Which we’ll call the Broken Record for lack of anything better from the announcers)"

    They called that the Throwback which was pretty neat and fit with his gimmick.  It's become one of his only super special occasions moves which is fine given that he came close to killing himself every third time he did it.

    On a somewhat related note, it bothers me that they only call finishers by name and everything else is "high impact move" or "a slam".  It just makes the wrestlers seem cooler and more unique if everyone has more named moves.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Who else wishes we could have gotten Brock-HBK @ wm20 with Shawn overcoming the odds and putting Lesnar out? That was 1 match in time (02-04) that would have clicked so well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. After the Triple H/HBK feud in August-December 2002, which I enjoyed, I was actually looking forward to a Triple H/Kevin Nash feud at the time. In fact, I was expecting a full on Triple H/Kevin Nash/HBK feud the way it was initially playing out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Do you people realize there is a REAL good chance that the 2nd round will feature Blues/Kings, Coyotes/Predators, Panthers/Sens (!!!!), Flyers/Capitals.

    The only team out of that bunch that has ANY sex appeal is the Flyers (maybe the Caps too).

    Seriously?!? The mother f'n Panthers and Senators in the 2nd round? God help us...

    ReplyDelete
  11. The best thing about old reviews is they show how much we as wrestling fans overreact to things that become irrelevant and insignificant afterwards. For the most part, every wrestling fan who doesn't like an outcome because a wrestler looked weak says they got buried and then 6 months later they're champion. Wins or loses don't nearly have as much significance as we believe. That's why it's silly for those who think Cena will never re-establish his figurehead status if he keeps jobbing. Hell, Cena could lose to Santino tomorrow dead center in the ring, and it wouldn't lower his status.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This was the PPV that slowly started my interest in buying PPVs downward. I still bought the rest of the 2003 PPVs, but outside of Vengeance, they all were one turd after another, esp. once they went brand split and exposed each show as not being deep enough to put on a card by themselves (hint: Billy Gunn should not be wrestling on PPV). What's even more amazing is how quickly the product went downhill; remember this was just a few weeks after the amazing WM XIX! But this card highlighted everything wrong with the product; the WCW rejects, no main event depth (Brock vs. still goose-green Cena), boring tag teams (remind me again why they felt the need to kill BookDust if they were not gonna pull the trigger on Booker as a world champ?), stupid feuds (Test/Steiner/Stacy)...jeezus, they had a golden goose dream match in Goldberg/Rock and couldn't even get that right.

    And then the string of bad PPVs would begin; Judgment Day, Bad Blood, Summerslam, Unforgiven, No Mercy, Survivor Series, Armageddon (amazing how the great Vengeance 2003 somehow snuck in there), more failed newbies (La Resistance, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones), more stupid feuds (Vince/Taker, Shane/Kane)...2003 was about as bad as the product has been ever, to go along with 1995 and 2006-07.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The sad thing is that you’ve got these six guys, and the match I’m curious to see now is Shawn v. Flair.  (I’d have to wait a while for that one.)
    I assume you're referencing the Flair/HBK retirement match at Wrestlemania a few years ago, but they had a match at Bad Blood in June 03. IIRC, it sucked

    ReplyDelete
  14.  I think theres at least something to be said for wins and losses, even if wrestling fans have no long term memory they have to mean a little something. It also depends on the level of star doing the job. At this point, if one of the big stars Rock or Cena does a job to a big star it doesnt mean much b/c of the body of work. Wjeras with a midcarder theres only so much jobbing until they can look like dweebs. Despite being relentlessly jobbed, Ziggler has some kind of charisma to where hes still looked at as credible, even as a midcarder. For other guys, i.e. Ryder, R Truth, and maybe some other midcarders , they may not have as much of the 'halo' and the constant losses ruin momentum they would hope to build.

    ReplyDelete
  15.  Maybe because WCW had no clue what to with Goldberg, Giant too and the Cruiserweights, and so they said: Do what you want. And it worked.

    ReplyDelete
  16.  The sad thing is, that even the  weak SD only PPV cards in 2003 looking strong, compared to todays "Supershows" with both roster.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't know why, but this one line from this review has stuck with me: "Meanwhile, Stacy confronts Torrie in the women’s locker room, where not only are a bunch of girls who aren’t even on the card hanging out, but Ivory is there wearing a towel. Did she just decide to have a shower for the hell of it?"

    It's the only thing I remember about this show, or the review of it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Don't know if anyone's interested, but this show was bad enough that it got me to stop watching wrestling until the Summer of Punk angle, and even that only happened because of Ryder's internet show.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Well unless they were planning on having Schneider score goals in addition to playing goalie, they kind of deserved to lose.

    ReplyDelete
  20.  *Caliber reads end of 6-man tag match review*

    Huh? OK....what? What am I lookin' at? Lookin' at the wall....I'm gonna stop looking soon.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Can't like this enough. Hollywood Rock may be my favorite incarnation. Ultimate chickenshit heel, but was so entertaining that the people loved him.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Outside of the July PPV, 2003 was one of the worst years in WWE/WWF history. Just total crap from start to finish.

    Which makes it all the more amazing 2004 was a pretty good year that built toward the Cena/Batista emergence in 2005.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was working at a restraunt and drinking pretty heavily in 2003, so on Thursday nights I was working and on Monday's I was half awake or fully passed out by the end of raw so as a result wrestling that year was pretty blurry. Had a HELL of a lot of fun that year though. I miss playing beer pong and doing ice luges with your work buddies at 2 AM.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Believe it or not I just saw The Princess Bride for the first time yesterday! Timely quote

    ReplyDelete
  25. A Rock heel turn when he comes back is just as unlikely as a Cena heel turn. Because god forbid they do anything interesting with their top guys.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 2003 was the worst in the companys history. At least 93 and 95 had budding talent that would go on to lead the way for bigger and better things. Anyone that might have seemed like the guy to carry the ball quickly had the rug pulled out from under him by HHH. (Booker T, RVD etc.)

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am 100% sure that the WCW didn't tell Goldberg, to "do what you wants". instead it was one of those rare instances where WCW really got it right. people didn't want to see Goldberg in long matches. he worked best as a super-over special attraction that just had to come in, look like a bad ass and destroy his opponents.

    ReplyDelete
  28. This wasn't a good show at all, but looking back, this is probably the last year where half the card of their April PPV didn't consist of rematches from Wrestlemania and they were actually attempting to start up fresh feuds.

    It's interesting that the main event of the last Smackdown before Wrestlemania that year was John Cena defeating Rikishi. I thought it was pretty strange at the time that their very last TV segment before WM revolved around a guy who wasn't even on the card, but they were already building up for a big match on the following PPV. Sure, Cena was nowhere near ready for that at this point, but it's interesting to actually see the company doing some long-term planning here and trying to build up a new guy for the main event scene two PPVs ahead of time.

    Nowadays, their long-term plan is always just "Wrestlemania Redux in Gimmick Matches" for the next two months.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Recently, I was over at my mom's, who's a big hockey fan. It was just before the LA Kings-Canucks series and they were doing a television preview. They showed that bit from last year's final where Marchand kept on punching that Sedin brother in the face, who just stood there and took it like a pussy.

    And my disgusted mom, who never saw that incident before and supports all Canadian teams without hesitation, said, "I hope the Canucks never win the Stanley Cup." (The riot after they lost sealed the deal).

    ReplyDelete
  30. I realize it...and kind of like it. It's nice to see some teams that usually get steamrolled beat the titans.

    Let's go Preds!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I get the feeling wins mean more than losses now, which is a good thing. It helps someone like Tensai to get a win on Cena more than it hurts Cena to lose to Tensai, so it's a good way to go.

    ReplyDelete
  32. After more than a decade of non-stop fandom and complete obsession with wrestling, 2003 was the year that actually made me quit watching, and it was nearly 3 years before I picked up watching regularly again. Even when I was still watching, it was just out of habit. I don't remember exactly when I realized that I'd just turn Raw on and completely ignore it and there was no point in even paying it lip service, but it had to have been around here. Thank God the indie scene at this time was just starting to catch fire, or I'd have never come back to wrestling again.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Christopher HirschApril 23, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Was barely watching during this time, just reading results online. I remember wondering if I was unique for being like that but have come to find out, a lot of people do it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. So last June when Luongo was whining about Tim Thomas not pumping his tires, he was talking about the Lex Express?

    ReplyDelete
  35. That's what I've been doing since about 1999.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Bad news Scott. The Princess Bride is indeed streaming on Netflix Canada

    ReplyDelete
  37. As long as the Penguins and Red Wings are out I'm happy.

    ReplyDelete
  38.  In addition to the Vengeance PPV (in July as you mentioned), Wrestlemania XIX was an excellent show, possibly the best PPV of that year.

    ReplyDelete
  39.  Well said and I agree with everything you said. I also feel the Royal Rumble was a decent show, highlighted by the awesome Angle vs. Benoit match and a very good Royal Rumble match. No Way Out was completely forgettable also.

    ReplyDelete
  40. What I thought was funny was that the riot came as a shock to people (especially in Vancouver) , even though the EXACT SAME THING happened in 1994. You're supposed to riot when your team WINS, idiots. And you'd think a city known for being the Amsterdam of the western hemisphere would be a lot less violent. 

    ReplyDelete
  41. I never understood the love for The Princess Bride.  And I was the perfect age for it when it came out.  Were males attracted to it b/c of Andre?  Since I didn't watch wrestling growing up, that might be another reason why the movie pretty much means nothing to me.

    ReplyDelete
  42. 2003 was such a strange year to be watching WWE as to me it was the year of Triple H's WCW Main Eventer Killing Spree! Just look at his main PPV opponents throughout the year; Scott Steiner, Booker T, Kevin Nash and Goldberg. Hell he even defeated Ric Flair in a match sometime during the spring. It was like him and Vince thought, 'Hey we buried WCW during the invasion in 2001 pretty well but it's such a pity that there weren't that many legitimate WCW main eventers around at the time. I know let's sign some of them and bury them further, including Booker T who has dared to get himself over again!' It still shocks me that Triple H's supposed clique buddy Kevin Nash got made to look as big a chump as he did. To be fair most of them weren't cut out for WWE's main event style at the time with the exception of Booker T who appeared motivated and was riding a good wave of momentum. Personally I would of given the World Title to Booker at Wrestlemania, leaving Triple H with the his feud against Kevin Nash until he regained it in the Elimination Chamber at SummerSlam which would set up Goldbery versus Triple H for the next PPV. In the meantime Booker could of defended it in a three-way against HBK and Jericho during Backlash which could of led to singles matches against either over the next couple of months.  

    ReplyDelete
  43. I think that has merit to it. Wins and loses do matter. We just think one loss is going to be the end of the world. It would be like a Lakers losing 5 games via blow out and thus they're never going to be the same.

    ReplyDelete
  44.  All I gotta say is GO FLYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is all...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Didn't Show get a lot of heat for being so careless with Rey?

    ReplyDelete
  46. "Rey does a stretcher job that no one buys, and Show then reappears and
    smashes the prone and helpless Rey into the post, dropping him on his
    head and nearly killing him in the process."

    That spot was needlessly wreckless. Rey's arms were strapped down so he had no protection when we went head-first into the floor. Just awful.

    ReplyDelete
  47. The Love-Matic Grandpa!April 23, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    Hey, can I look, too?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Until Sidney Crosby's arrival, I didn't hate a team more than the 2003 Ducks. The game had been going in a defensive/boring direction for years, but the Ducks made a mockery of it. They were a terrible team, hardly any talent whatsoever, and every game came down to the other team firing numerous shots at their goalie, who couldn't be beat unless you made him move because his gear was huge. They was literally nowhere to shoot, he covered the entire net. Eventually the Ducks would get a break, score a goal or 2, and that was it. They were possibly the worst, least deserving team to make the finals, and thankfully they didn't win.

    ReplyDelete
  49. The Love-Matic Grandpa!April 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    See, I don't necessarily agree with that. For a guy like Cena, who is already established and has years and years of clean wins over top talent behind him? Sure. But for an up-and-coming talent, those wins and (more importantly) losses can have a detrimental effect and sometimes are the difference maker between "upper card mainstay" and "money-drawing star". If you constantly reinforce the notion that certain guys just aren't as good as the "real stars", then you can't act surprised when they don't draw or move the ratings.

    That's why I've always had a problem with the notion that young talent "gets the rub" from just being in the ring with the veterans, because it rarely works out that way. Hart/Austin worked because they portrayed Austin as being on Hart's level every step of the way, so when Hart won he did so by beating a tough, worthy opponent. , True, Austin talked trash and was clearly the heel, but he backed it up in the ring so the fans accepted him. Punk/Cena worked (although not quite as well, IMO) for many of the same reasons, plus Punk actually went over. But how many times have we seen the up-and-comer end up in a worse position after feuding with a vet? Taking 90% of the match and then slipping on a banana peel or beating the tar out of the guy for ten minutes before pinning and then giving him a "meaningful nod" does no one any favors.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I'd go even further and call "Vengeance, 2003" and "WrestleMania XIX" two of the best PPVs they've ever done.

    That Brock/Angle/Show match, in particular, is criminally underrated - probably the second best triple-threat match in company history, even surpassing the vaunted Rock/Angle/Taker match from "Vengeance, 2002" by quite a large margin. And "WM19" is my favorite WM ever.

    ReplyDelete
  51.  You could make a case for Mania XIX being one of their best PPVs (especially post-Mania X-Seven). I wouldn't say the same for Vengeance. Although Vengeance was a very good show, it's not one of the all time greats.

    ReplyDelete
  52. It's one of those movies that you have to fall in love when you're a child and then somehow that unreasonable love sticks with you forever. I always felt like Princess Bride was vastly overrated as none of it is even slightly funny or dramatic. Even as a child I just thought it was just horrifically unwatchable and I LOVED Andre as a kid.

    But I can also watch E.T. once a week for the rest of time, so I think it really just depends on what grabs you as a kid.

    ReplyDelete
  53. So big Andy, Tough Enough winner has been cut. Why they ever chose him in the first place is beyond me. He was a black hole of charisma. Luke was clearly better.

    ReplyDelete
  54.  But if they had really cared about him, he would not have won the title on Nitro, but on Bash at the Beach. They always only cared about ratings and short money (with Rodman, Malone) but not for the future. And there was never a Goldberg Hogan rematch which would have been perfect for Halloween Havoc.

    ReplyDelete
  55. The sad thing about the Canucks, is that they possibly could have won the cup if they didn't stick with Luongo as long as they did in the finals last year. It wasn't that he was outplayed in the games he lost, it's that he was horrific and his team had zero shot to win after the first period. Put Schneider in there and they might not win, but they're at least still in the game with 40 minutes to go. Luongo might be more talented, but Schneider is consistent.

    Of course this year was more of a disaster. I wouldn't have wanted any part of the Kings in the first round - a much better team than their record indicated. But they traded Hodgson for Kassian, which is a short sighted downgrade, but they felt they needed his size right away so they could compete with the Bruins. (building a team to compete with a particular team is never a smart idea, considering even if the Canucks did make it to the finals the Bruins might not be there). Kassian was a scratch last night. And then they probably sealed Luongo's fate in Vancouver. Oddly enough, he didn't play badly in the series. It wasn't his fault they lost. But they clearly had more confidence in Schneider, and were almost looking for a reason to go with him. Luongo made his best with his past performances - the 7 or 8 goal night is almost a sure thing for him at some point, and going into must win games they didn't trust him enough to feel it wasn't going to be that night. They lost Hodgson and will have to move Luongo, might have to eat a lot of his salary, or keep him around reluctantly eventhough they've outed that they're not confident in him. All to win now, all to win 1 game in the first round. 

    ReplyDelete
  56. Has anyone actually missed Rey while he has been out since August? I sometimes even forget he is still part of the active roster.

    ReplyDelete
  57. The Love-Matic Grandpa!April 23, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    At this point, I have to wonder if Rey is basically done as a full-timer. His knees are shot, he's accomplished everything he can reasonably expect to in WWE (and then some) and they don't seem to be in too big a hurry to bring him back despite the admitted lack of depth. My guess is that if and when he returns, it'll be on a "special attraction" type schedule were he works Manias and the occasional short program with a random heel.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Hart/Austin also worked because Hart didn't seem to decimate Austin. At SurSer 96 he won by outsmarting Austin and at WM XIII he won because Austin passed out (raising the question COULD Bret have beaten him).

    If they're going to do Punk/Austin at Wm 29 I wish Punk would call Austin out like Austin called Bret Hart out, even adopting the stunner as a finisher (but I also hate the GTS)

    ReplyDelete
  59.  I very much appreciate WWE wasting my time yet again by asking me to invest in a show as a viewer, picking the guy they did, humiliating him on national TV after he won and then firing him. Glad I spent all that time watching the show.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I was long gone on the product by this time. I checked out as a fan for the first time in my life in 2002, which I thought (as a whole) was worse than 2003, but whatever. I only came back for a few shows here and there until about 2005 when I started back up again, so much of this is a blur to me, too.

    ReplyDelete
  61. In regards to last year's Finals, the Canucks scored 8 goals in 7 games. I don't care if you have the goaltending love child of Patrick Roy, Dominik Hasek, and Martin Brodeur between the pipes. With that kind of offensive output, you're going to lose.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Not necessarily. I didn't see it until I was well into my adulthood, and I enjoy it and will still watch it from time to time. Though it does help to be in a goofy-take-the-piss-out-of-anything frame of mind when one does so.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Absolutely. The promo he cut in his return to Toronto after WM18 is one of the best of all-time.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Christopher HirschApril 23, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    The Labyrinth will always be amazing to me.

    ReplyDelete
  65. True, the Sedins didn't show up in the finals. But with the bad Luongo starts, you're pretty much out of it and looking towards the next game by the end of the first. Not to say they surely would've played better and scored more if that didn't happen, but it's probably easier to battle and put the push on the score when you're not down 4 after the first period. They may've put Schneider in and lost 2-1, but at least they'd be in it.

    I'm not sure if it had an effect or not, but the playoffs are tough physically, and the extra games they had to play that they probably shouldn't have (like 7 against Chicago) may have added up by the end there.

    ReplyDelete
  66.  It had a lot of great quotable lines when that kind of thing wasn't so common. At least once every two weeks I find myself feeling the need to say "You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

    ReplyDelete
  67. I enjoy Rey as a worker but he's got nothing left to accomplish and the next knee injury could be the last. Considering how much shuffling they've had to do just to keep enough room for everyone as it is, and with all the new talent coming in, I think it'd be for the best if Rey just hung it up. Nothing against him at all, but they need to start getting a harder edge on these guys who hang around forever and take up space. Of course, he sells lots of merchandise, so he'll probably be around until he literally can't walk anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  68. The talent-reality show quandary: does winning on a show that's entertaining ever actually translate to someone worth watching once they are off the show?

    I think rather than bringing up some new green stiff, they should have one where a bunch of current members of the roster that are just spinning their wheels compete and are judged by Austin & the rest, and the winner gets a title match on PPV or something. Or really raise the stakes and have all the losers get fired.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Didn't Big Show get sent to OVW at some point? If it was after this show, I'd bet it was partly due to his recklessness in this match.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Yep, they completely set it up for this guy to win, and he stunk. Luke was clearly the best guy from the first day. But he was not generic big guy with long hair #9, so he had no chance.

    ReplyDelete
  71. In all fairness, you don't know whether Andy asked for his release or not.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Christopher HirschApril 23, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    I enjoy his work as well but just feel he is really played out. People wouldn't buy him as a heel either so there isn't much re-inventing that can be done with him.

    ReplyDelete
  73. It's amazing to think that the WWE could fuck up O'Haire at that time, but they did.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I see what you're saying, but I believe repacking can always overcome those loses. For example, CM Punk had a horible title run and beforehand lost every match post-MITB. Now he's a whatever times champion, current champion, and one of the top guys in the company. I don't think a loss or several can make or break a wrestler.

    ReplyDelete
  75. The constant injuries do kinda keep him fresh though.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Why do you hate Crosby?

    ReplyDelete
  77. I don't like the way he acts on the ice. He throws his fair share of cheap shots, takes dives, constantly whines at the referee, and acts like a child when things aren't going well. Most of what was said about him recently by opposing coaches is actually true if you've been watching him closely and objectively since he came into the league. His outburst in game 3 against the Flyers was embarrassing but not out of character at all - he's been know to act like that when things aren't going well, and is quite the little cheap shot artist. I really don't care if that's the way he wants to play - it works for him, but what I hate is that he plays like that and then he and the media will pretend he doesn't, or that it's just him reacting to the big meanies on the other team being rough with him.

    The media doesn't help. He gets the blame for nothing, and the credit for everything. The contributions, sometimes much larger contributions of his teammates are ignored because there's this belief that he carries the team. If he gets 2 assists it's big news, even if Malkin had a goal and 3 assists in the same game. He threw a fit in game 3. The puck hit him in the ass and went in the net in game 4. Staal and Malkin get them back in the series, Crosby does nothing, and he gets zero blame for anything. But somehow Malkin had a bad series and that's why they lost? They act like he's the best player in the world by a large margin, but put him in the playoffs or in the Olympics and he hardly stands out. But then he scores the overtime winner and the story is written as if he carried Canada on his back and led them to the gold. Anytime he fails, anytime he does something immature or unsportsman like they say "he's still just a kid", meanwhile Jonathan Toews is about the same age and miles ahead of him when it comes to leadership, composure and maturity, which is probably because he works hard and stays focused on the game because he doesn't see the NHL as his own personal playground and opposing players and big bullies trying to kick him off the slide.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I like the analogy. :) As we all know though, NBA basketball is not a work. I think that one depends on whether or not you live in LA. Following the sweep last year at the hands of the Mavericks, much of Laker nation was looking for that big trade, pretty much anyone besides Kobe was fair game (specifically fans wanted the #2 guy Pau Gasol out of there due to his poor playoff play).

     Jericho may indeed win at Extreme Rules, because yes, he's one of those who can job (or in his case I guess just "not win" is more like it citing Rumble & EC) but I think he would still look better going into that match by dominating the upper midcarders and further emphasizing he's in the "Best In The World" convo. Like a lot more of what he did to Kofi a couple weeks ago, but do it on RAW not SD.

    I guess in summary, WWE wants us to not mind wins and losses, with their half-assed booking, but originally wrestling was supposed to be more realistic to a shoot sport where wins and losses are  almost everything. Now, not so much. Its more contrived and for entertainment purposes than ever and I dont think Brock's "legit-ness" is going to change that soon.

    ReplyDelete
  79. He probably should've sold that Stunner better.

    ReplyDelete
  80. We'll probably never know that.  He's SILENT Rage, after all...

    ReplyDelete
  81.  I don't think the Badd Blood 03 match sucked.  I think our expectations at the time were absolutely ridiculous.  I remember thinking, "Shawn vs Flair! Ohmygaud! The universe will collapse into itself from the greatness to ensue. The two greatest showmen of all time."  What I should've been thinking was, "An HBK who is still trying to find his groove vs an over the hill Flair."  I watched the match a couple years back and it holds up pretty well as a ***+ match.

    ReplyDelete
  82. I've seen every Sidney Crosby game and I've never seen him dive. Or cheapshot anyone for that matter. And the whining to refs bit always cracks me up. He is a captain, ever single captain talks to refs all game.

    He does have a tendency to get frustrated and take a stupid penalty but Game 3 was not an example of that. He was fighting to try and swing momentum and get his team back in it. And Sid is still the best player in the world and it's not even really close. Before he got hurt, he was smoking everyone in sight by a wide margin. Then he comes back from a year and half of some serious fucked up head injuries and averages 1.68 ppg. That is a sick number. 

    And Sid is nowhere near the reason why the Pens lost(neither is Geno and Staal). Pens D and goaltending was atrocious.

    "but put him in the playoffs or in the Olympics and he hardly stands out. "

    This is hysterical. Sid in 09-10 playoffs: 19 points in 13 games. 08-09 playoffs: 31 in 24. 07-08 playoffs: 27 in 21. And a Cup. As a captain. Terrible leadership from a terrible player.

    ReplyDelete
  83. The media doesn't help. He gets the blame for nothing, and the credit
    for everything.


    Heh, he's like the anti-Lebron then, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Eh, Luke was generic pretty boy #55, they have enough of those as well.

    ReplyDelete
  85.  Exactly.  It's a charming movie with so many quotables and very little wasted time/space (every scene accomplishes something).  "As you wish"; "Inconceivable"; "You ARE the Brute Squad"; "'Ello, my name is Inigo Montoya..."; "I want my father back you son of a bitch"; "To the pain (...dear god what is that thing)"; the entire battle of wits scene; almost every Andre the Giant line (delivered with impeccable timing).... I could probably quote half the movie, but the point is that it was very appealing to the entire family. Even though it's not my favorite movie (Pulp Fiction or The Dark Knight), I think it's almost perfect.  Each scene makes me laugh or smile.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Martin (or whoever the donny osmond lookalike is) was kicking everyone's butt until he got injured and had to leave.

    ReplyDelete
  87. It's funny. I'm not saying you're right or wrong about Crosby (I haven't seen near enough Penguins games to make much of a judgement on his behaviour), but other than the cheap shots comment, what you're saying about him is exactly what I heard said about Gretzky back in the 80s.

    I lived in and around Edmonton during his days there, and Gretzky got those comments all the time (grain of truth, but blown out of proportion, IMO). It's like you've taken me back a few decades (sob, back to therapy;).

    ReplyDelete
  88. Kane and RVD kept the belts after this show. They lost them to La Resistance at the Raw only Badd Blood ppv.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Well, they rendered the whole show pointless when the first woman eliminated became one of Brodus' ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Nope, he got a title shot the next PPV.

    He got sent to OVW back in 2000, after he was part of Shane McMahon's short lived stable of Angle, Benoit, Edge, and Christian.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Yeah, 2003 was an awful year production wise for the WWE as well. There seemed to be some random production goof on Raw every month. 

    "Alright, go back again and let's do one more take, Christian."

    ReplyDelete
  92.  It made total sense for Goldberg to win the title in front of a crowd that big in Atlanta. True they could've built up to it and had a PPV in the dome, but it wasn't a company killing move.

    Bigger candidates from 1998 are Nitro going 3 hours, plus thunder, totally burning out Bischoff and over saturating WCW and Halloween Havoc running out of time for the main event.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Before he got got those 2 concussions last year he was on pace for a 65-goal, 130-point season with no star wingers. He's the undisputed best player in the world, and while I agree the margin isn't THAT large, we haven't had an undisputed king since Mario in the mid-90s.

    If you wanna talk about a guy who gets a lot of help from the media, it's Toews. The guy has 1 70+ point season and has never scored at a point per game pace in the reg. season and people talk about being the 2nd best player in the league. If he struggles in big games it's ignored, and when he DOES score (which is gonna happen cause he's a good player) he's touted as "clutch".

    People see what they wanna see, and only look to confirm their already set prejudices. Crosby does whine, dive, chirp, and give guys cheap shots like slashes to the ankle behind the play. So do 90% of all NHL players.

    I can't get over the PHILADELPHIA FLYERS and their fans bitching about this stuff. A team that less than a year ago had Mike Richards as their captain, and Carter, Pronger, Hartnell, Carcillo, Rinaldo on the roster.

    ReplyDelete
  94. He's still one of the two or three best workers in the company, and as long as he is, they'll keep bringing him back. I want him to be healthy in old age, but that's probably out the window. Dude's an awesome performer, though.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Were ratings and buyrates any worse with Goldberg carrying Raw than with Cena doing the same? Legit question.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Sure, but it'll cost ya.

    ReplyDelete
  97. You are entitled to your opinion.

    I look at him and go "the job guy from wwe, plus hes like this tall"

    Seriously, if his merch ever dried up, he would be done.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I think the Devils could take it still - making the Flyers the new #1 seed (if Wash won also).

    Most likely - Boston/Ottawa and Florida/Philly - which i'd take for the Flyers also. 

    ReplyDelete
  99. Yeah, the three hour Nitros in addition to Thunder were a killer, even when I was a mega fan in 1998.  Even when the shows were all pretty strong (RAW, Nitro, Thunder) it was just way too much wrestling to sit through every week live.

    Halloween Havoc 1998 was pretty bad press for them as well, but in actuality that one wasn't actually their fault -- they did notify cable systems earlier in the week that the show was going long but a good many of them did not adjust their automated systems accordingly. 

    They did however go over without notifying companies and got cut off on some systems for the end of Halloween Havoc 1996 and Road Wild 1997.

    ReplyDelete
  100.  Very good point -- there has always been a lot of that in wrestling, which I suppose makes sense given the nature of how wrestling is promoted and hyped -- the whole premise is that everything matters, when in reality very little of it does end up mattering in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  101.  To which I add:

    Anybody want a peanut?

    ReplyDelete
  102. The Love-Matic Grandpa!April 23, 2012 at 8:03 PM

    My wallet's in the car!

    ReplyDelete
  103. You're so stupid.

    And now back to the wall...

    ReplyDelete
  104. I liked Maven for the relatively brief time he was around, he showed room for improvement at least.

    ReplyDelete
  105. My personal favorite - "HULLO, LADY!"

    ReplyDelete
  106. Wrestling storylines, at least the way the WWE produces it, can never really have an end, so nothing can ever really matter. Wrestlers still need something to do after an angle, meaning they need another run at the top, or they need to be built up again.

    ReplyDelete
  107. I don't see how anyone can watch Crosby and not think he's whiner. It's not just me, NHL players, in a survey, voted him as the player who complains to the ref the most. Yes, captains talk to the ref a lot. But picture Sakic, Lidstrom, Yzerman...they talk to the refs to get clarification on a penalty call, if they don't like it they subtly chat with the ref when they get a change - they don't follow him around the ice barking at him. Crosby once complained to the ref that fans were throwing hats on the ice after a hattrick goal and wanted them to stop. Throwing hats on the ice is a hockey tradition that's existed in all levels of hockey for decades, but when it's bothering Sidney Crosby a special announcement should be made to stop it? Malkin scored one a couple of days later and he didn't mind the hats, so he's also a hypocrite. As for his dirty play, there's numerous videos on youtube of his less than sportsmanlike play. Again, I really don't care if he wants to play with that type of an edge, just don't do it and then pretend you don't. He's made out to be this humble, innocent hockey loving young man, but he's managed to piss of various players/coaches from different teams over his career, and when anyone says anything it's just passed off as gamesmanship or jealously. A couple of weeks ago the Flyers said he acted a certain way, Milbury and Tortorella said he acted a certain way - and then he goes out and does exactly what they said he does.

    I don't think he's a terrible player at all - he's one of the top players in the NHL. He might be the best in the NHL - but it's not by the wide margin it's made out to be. His statistics are impressive, but a couple of years ago when Ovechkin was dominating the statistics the Crosby fans ignored that because stats don't tell the whole story. Funny how once Crosby started putting up great numbers then they became important. He's clearly one of the best in the game right now but it's Sidney Crosby at the top and then the rest of the NHL somewhere far below him.

    Okay, losing to the Flyers isn't his fault. But why isn't it? If he's the best player in the world, shouldn't he be able to rally his team back? Or at least contribute to the comeback that fell short? In Game 4 a point shot hit him in the ass and went in the net - that's the extent of his contributions. But that's how it goes with him - if they won the series and he had a couple of assists along the way, that'd be pointed out as a huge reason why they won. But him doing nothing after his hissy fit in Game 3 is totally ignored, and some people (not you, I know) have the nerve to suggest Malkin needed to be better? They lost yesterday 4-1 (not counting the empty netter) - what would've happened if he had contributed ANYTHING? A goal? Set up a goal? I don't think it's unfair to expect the "best player in the world" to get some timely points when the team desperately needs them.

    He didn't stand out at all at the Olympics. He did nothing until the overtime goal, and if Brendan Morrow was the guy to get that goal it would've been a great victory for Team Canada. But since Crosby scored it, the story gets re-written that he led the way to gold the whole time. When playing with and against the best players in the world, he didn't stand out. He was just another player. A great player, of course, but he didn't dominate the way you'd expect the far and away best player in the world to do.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Dude, every single player chirps the refs and other players. Every. Single. Game. People break down video like it's the Zapruder film every time he does it because he is the most famous player in the league.

    If a 3rd line grinder from your favorite team did the things you said Crosby did, you'd love him. But because hockey fans are the hipsters of sports fans, he sucks. What he did in game 3 was not a hissy fit. And he had 8 points in 6 games, hardly a no show this year in the playoffs. 

    And don't bring up Torts and Milbury when you're making your points. Torts is a blowhard who rants to the media to take attention away from his team when they get wrecked. And Milbury's caveman logic is killing the NHL. He is a joke. If your gonna rely on his opinion, I'll stop right here.

    "And after the game he sits there with that smug smirk saying he just doesn't like him? That's not a whiner?"

    It's the most heated rivalry in hockey. Honestly, what do you expect him to say?

    ReplyDelete
  109. What's scary is that since Crosby has been back, he has averaged almost a point more than his average before he got hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Torts is the worst. I think it was Bobby Clarke that nailed the essence of him with 1 line.

    "There are no mirrors in his house"

    ReplyDelete
  111.  I was hoping someone would pick up on it...one of the greatest exchanges ever.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Yay~!!.. That's where WE live..

    ReplyDelete
  113. "You like that, dontcha, lemon panties?"

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment