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The EXTREME Rematches Prediction Thread

Man, I’m almost tempted to download the abdomination that was EXTREME REUNION just to see if it could be as bad as promised.  Vince and Dixie have been SERVED, indeed.

Anyway, a real wrestling promotion is doing an actual, non-“tape delayed” PPV tonight, and it’ll actually be the fourth one in a row I order, which is the first time in many years when that has happened. 

Buyrate prediction:  Brock’s not moving ratings and he won’t move buyrates either.  It’ll do better than last year, but only like 10% more.  So we’ll say 140K domestic and 220 worldwide.

EXTREME RULES match:  Brock Lesnar v. John Cena

I think they go all-in with Brock and resist their temptation to have smiling Cena triumph in the end.  Brock destroys Cena in a quick match, but maybe takes an FU during the comeback before shrugging it off and hitting the F5 and choking Cena out with the head-and-arm choke like he did against Shane Carwin.  I think Cena’s getting beat, and tapping, to injure him and take him off TV for a while. 


On one hand, WWE logic says that Punk is due to job in Chicago, but sane person logic says that Jericho is on the way out again for the summer and people aren’t buying into the storyline anyway.  Really, Punk is the long-term guy with the belt until they’re ready to pass it to Brock, so there’s no point in interrupting his 6 month reign for a month just so they can put it back on him again.  I think Punk retains in a fun brawl and Jericho goes away to tour with Fozzy for a while.

EXTREME 2/3 FALLS match:  Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan

Bryan’s going to be mighty over, and maybe we can hold out hope that Del Rio’s involvement in the World title will mean a three-way at the next show instead of a singles match, but I wouldn’t bet the farm on AJ successfully interfering or anything.  Sheamus will retain in two straight falls, probably one even shorter than Wrestlemania, but it’ll end up being a great match hopefully.

SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL!  Big Show v. Cody Rhodes

Cody had the crap beat out of him on Smackdown by two different people and looked like a jobber, so naturally he’s getting the title back here because Big Show hasn’t even defended it since winning.  What a disaster this program has become for Cody.  Not even a beautiful one.  Stipulation guess:  DQ rule is waived, because that costs the least money and that way Show doesn’t have to job. 

EXTREME FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match:  Kane v. Randy Orton

Much like Randy Orton, I just don’t give a shit anymore about this feud.  Paul Bearer helps Orton win somehow, hopefully it’s good and ends this program forever.

EXTREME WOMEN’S match:  Nikki Bella v. Beth Phoenix

Guess they realized no one was buying the ankle injury storyline.  Nikki uses TWIN MAGIC to retain and gets squashed back to the indies by Kharma tomorrow night on Monday Night RAW Starring Brock Lesnar.

EXTREME YOUTUBE PRE-SHOW match:  Santino v. The Miz

They’re doing nothing with the Miz, so look for him to beat Santino clean and win the US title. 

Really, as long as the two World title matches deliver and Brock beats the jorts off Cena, this is a thumbs up show, so it should be a challenge for them to fuck it up.  We’ll see tonight I guess.


  1. Man, I had completely forgotten that they originally named Cena's finisher as a dig at Brock Lesnar.

  2. Big Johnny didn't look thrilled when Brock was giving him his demands. Maybe he realized Brock isn't going to be worth the trouble and he is better off with Cena as the face of Raw.(the devil you know...)

    I'll go with Cena via Big Johnny screwjob. Brock goes into Hulk mode over the next few months destroying everyone Ace puts infront of him.

  3. Cena/Lesnar: Lesnar wins by some degree of chicanery, but then does the customary Extreme Rules show ending big stunt to put Cena out for a while. I'm thinking something involving going through the ring or collapsing the ring.

    Punk/Jericho: Punk wins by either clocking Jericho with a liquor bottle or, if they really wanna go edgy, taking a mouthful of liquor and spitting a fireball at Jericho.

    Sheamus/Bryan: I honestly think they realize that there is at least some value in continuing the storyline, so I think Bryan takes it here, although the first fall will be in less than 18 seconds.

    Show/Cody: The stip will be something that screws Show over, like one arm tied behind his back, and Cody regains.

    Kane vs. Orton: Orton gets the win back. I imagine both of these guys are angling for time off soon, until they get the big build to Orton/Lesnar whenever they decide to do that.

    Nikki/Beth: Beth will be too injured to compete and Kharma will be her replacement to win the title.

    Santino/Miz: Santino pins him clean with the Cobra. Then Brodus and Hornswoggle come out and both splash Miz. Then the Funkettes both slap him around. Then everyone dances atop him.

  4. My own little predictions are:

    Ziggler and Swagger versus Hornswoggle and FUNKASAURUS gets added as a bonus match which sees Swagger jobbing to Hornswoggle.

    Another bonus match could possibly be a Ryback squash match or even a Antonio Cesaro squash to further the Teddy Long being Johnny's bitch storyline.

    Great Khali turns on Big Show for no apparent reason getting up a super-shitty feud and allowing Cody to regain the title.

    I think AJ may interfere with Sheamus versus Daniel Bryan match to give Bryan one fall, which could possibly lead to Sheamus accidentally knocking her over to further the storyline of heels accusing Sheamus of abusing non-wrestlers.

    Instead of Paul Bearer costing Kane the match I think it's more likely we will see the return of Cowboy Bob Orton with his infamous arm cast!

  5. I think Bryan's only hope for a fall is somehow avoiding a Brogue Kick that takes out AJ.  Sheamus acts all distraught, then Bryan swoops in for a quick fall to show just how much of a dick he is.  Alternately, I'd love to see AJ intentionally throw herself in front of one to help Bryan score a fall to show just how crazy she is.

  6. TheRealCitizenSnipsApril 29, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Is there a recap of EXTREME REUNION somewhere? The only news I could find on a site that didn't automatically cram my laptop with Russian malware was something about Justin Credible being in no condition to perform at it. (Which sounds like a sadder story than anything we've heard from even Scott Hall lately.)

  7. "[I]t should be a challenge for them to fuck it up."


  8. I like the idea of Bryan stalling in/out of the ring the first 18 seconds ala Zbysko and then celebrating around the ring screaming "YES!", lol.

  9. Unless DEM BELLAS are planning on posing nude after leaving, I really hope they stay.


  11. TheRealCitizenSnipsApril 29, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    I think it shows how utterly jaded I've become that it wasn't until this past Monday when Brie was helping Nikki stretch out in the ring pre-match that I thought "Hey, those girls are pretty hot".

  12. - Brock Lesnar def. John Cena via knock-out
    - WWE Champion CM Punk def. Chris Jericho
    - World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan 2 falls to 1
    - Cody Rhodes def. Intercontinental Champion Big Show to win the title
    - Randy Orton def. Kane
    - Divas Champion Nikki Bella def. Beth Phoenix
    - The Miz def. United States Champion Santino to win the title

  13.  Was that a Briscoes reference in reference to the Bellas?

  14. It's even funnier when you consider Brock was the clean-cut one and Cena was the edgy heel.

  15. So tempted to order this show, I'll have to see how I feel after a six pack during the Flyers game.

  16. 4 shows in a row, Scott? It's nice to see they're doing well enough to keep piquing your interest.

  17. If there's one thing I'm looking forward to, it's going to be the parents videotaping their kids crying and putting it on YouTube after Cena loses tonight. 

    Oh, and Lesnar goes old school and F-5's Cena into the ring post.

  18. I'll make you a deal, I'll tape my kids tonight if you promise to tape yourself in twelve months when your MOSTEST FAVORITE WRESTLER EVER goes over Rocky AND Brock, lol.

  19. I like to use the term "dem" (as well as "dat") in place of the word "the" in any situation possible for endearment.

  20. Thank you for using piquing correctly as well.

    I suppose technically I didn't order Royal Rumble since I watched it in the theater, but yeah, I've been interested enough in the first four shows of the year to drop money on them and not just wait for the DVD or watch them by other means.  But then I'm basically part of the hardest of the hardcore fanbase, so winning my $55 Canadian for HD isn't exactly a huge accomplishment.  

  21.  100% agree.

  22. If Lesnar *only* brings in 10% more buys, how long will WWE continue to fork out and give in to his contract demands (which, btw, makes me wonder if his over-the-top requests on Raw were a rib)? Anyhow, predictions...

    Brock wins, puts Cena out for a while.
    Punk wins big in his hometown.
    Bryan wins(!!!) through AJ + ADR interference, leading to triple threat next month. YES! (I won't get sick of YES! - even typing it is fun)
    Orton gets the win back because that's how it works.
    Hopefully Cody gets the IC title back, Kharma gets her revenge on the Bellas, and I don't have a clue what's going on with the Miz but I'm fairly certain putting the US title back on him won't achieve anything.

  23. I've got Punk, Brock, Miz, Orton, Rhodes, and Bryan in an upset. Ryback is my guess for the bonus squash over the other options of Cesaro, Tensai or Clay. Based on Beth continuing to sell the injury I also think she's going to be unable to compete and Kharma will take her place to get some revenge on the Bellas.

  24. That sounds interesting. If Cena embraced being Big Johnny's guy, it would even be a double turn.

  25. This may be absurd optimism, but I wouldn't be shocked if they put Bryan over and let Sheamus actually chase him for a little while. I mean, I don't expect them to, but maybe they'll pleasantly surprise us with a Bryan win like the last time they had a show in Chicago.

  26. I'll take them posing nude over them fucking up throughout a wrestling match any day. 

  27. As though they'd put Jericho over a draw.

  28. I would of assumed it was the camel toe that enticed you.

  29. Well then if it's not Jericho, I have no idea who else fits under the criteria of my "MOSTEST FAVORITE WRESTLER EVER"? Unless the Rock is also going to pin himself.

  30. They can't even fit in a US Title match starring a guy who is very over versus a guy who main evented Wrestlemania last year?

    Anyway, Brock wins (possibly by beating Cena so bad they stop the match), Punk, Sheamus and Nikki retain, Cody regains the IC Title, and Orton wins. 

  31. Santino pins Miz with the Cobra.

    Big Show vs Cody Rhodes is a Tables Match.

  32. This show is going to bomb in terms of buyrate. Brock wasn't a draw in WWE the 1st time around and he isn't now. He was a draw in UFC because UFC was a draw, and he added curious wrestling fans on top of that. 0 UFC fans are ordering tonight's show.

    The only match I'm interested in is Bryan/Sheamus because I want them to reunite Bryan & AJ with the title and put some juice back into the title & SmackDown. Since the chances of that happening is 0, I'm not ordering tonight.

    PS - Why is everyone so sure the WWE is going to give Cena time off? It's possible but when you can barely break a 3.0 with Cena....why remove him and let the ratings really plummet? It'd be a huge risk for them.....WWE ain't really about huge risks lately.

  33. I am also for a reuniting of Daniel and AJ. I think I would cry like when Liz and Randy got back together at WM7.

  34. I was pretty shocked that Miz jobbed to the Cobra. I was expecting him to kick out.

    Man, what's worse than being in the doghouse? The skunkhouse? Yes, Miz is in the skunkhouse. Because right now his career STINKS.

    8 )

  35. Man, Scott missed almost everything here!


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