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Not Quite 3-Hour RAW Open Thread

It's Monday Night therefore RAW is on.

I don't think I'll be watching but I welcome all of you to do it.

Come out swinging but keep it clean.

Comments

  1. Considering Lakers/Thunder last Monday night doubled Raw...I wonder how much Heat/Celtics is going to beat Raw by.

    I only bring this up since the WWE told me a couple weeks ago that more people watch Raw than the NBA playoffs. They'll need a new "Did You Know?" tonight.

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  2. ONe punk/brayran segmenat to keep the cmssmarks interstliangded follwoe dby a teansai squash and a bucvnh of Big johhhnny/Bigshow bullshit. 

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  3. CULTASASTATUS!@ i'[M COIMING AFTER YouoOU NIGGA!

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  4. 6: Number of consecutive PPVs Daniel Bryan has had a World or WWE title match.
    0: Number of those matches where Daniel Bryan has appeared in the main event.

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  5. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    I'm still confused about the end of last week's Raw. How in the hell did John Cena manage not to notice an extremely large 7ft over 400lb angry Big Show about to sneak attack him? 

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  6. When you heard Bryan Danielson signed with WWE did you think he would get 6 straight world title matches on PPV?

    Card placement is overrated. The man is being featured prominently on WWE programming and has a clearly defined, original character.

    As a kid I loved Bret Hart as champ and he played 2nd fiddle to Flair/Savage during his 1st reign and I didn't mind. He was still champ and he was awesome.

    The only time you could argue he (Bryan) deserved to be in the main event slot was Over the Limit anyway.

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  7. Simple.  He wasn't in the camera shot.  If it's not on camera, it doesn't exist yet.

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  8. And...here...we...go...

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  9. If they put Kane in with Punk and Bryan it will zap all my interest in the one thing that keeps me watching these days.

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  10. There are ton of crates and shit in the back. Is it so hard to believe that he was chilling behind one, waiting for Big Johnny to set him up?

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  11. "Card placement is overrated."

    Liked what you wrote except for that. Bret went on last during Survivor Series 1992, even if the Macho/Flair thing got most of the airtime leading up to the show.

    The real problem is that John Cena is still the top guy but since he doesn't have the belt...the belt never main events. I think it was Scott last week who said they should just put the belt back on him. Bryan/Punk should be the main event feud, Cena/Big Show needs to be the supporting-attraction type feud.

    Because it's flipped...it makes Cena/Show look even worse.

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  12. I for one will be only be flipping to RAW during the Celtics-Heat commercials, and following the thread. Even though I think that with Bradley out, my C's will be lucky to push Miami to six games.

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  13. Anyone hear if CM Punk is being disciplined over what happened in Brazil?  I find it hard to believe that CM Punk just randomly decided to bring a Brazilian flag into the ring for face heat, with Jericho going into business for himself.  They both must have planned what was going to happen in the ring.

    Of course, you can't suspend the WWE Champion, but surely he's not going to get away from this scot (Scott?) free?

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  14. I'm appraoching sobriety, not good for a wiled Drunk Murphy live thread.

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  15. I can't wait to get bashed over the head with patriotism during this Raw. Did you know that the WWE single-handedly healed the country after 9/11?

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  16. The Yankees-Angels game is starting at the same time as Raw, so I'll be DVR-ing Raw tonight to watch tomorrow morning.

    I'm also debating going to No Way Out, since it's not that hard to get to East Rutherford from Queens (I hope...). Doesn't even matter what the card is, I love live event experiences. The last time I made it to a Pay-per-view was Summerslam 1997 ... in East Rutherford. Maybe I should branch out a little bit.

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  17. Even if it leads to an AJ/Kane pairing?

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  18. Because we haven't seen that in the last two weeks.

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  19. They publicly suspended Jericho over it, so I doubt Punk will get anything. Something still feels off about the whole thing, like the whole situation has been kayfabed to get Jericho some more time off. I think WWE has been a lot better lately about playing e smark crowd, so who knows?

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  20. Celtics/Heat and Hatfields/McCoys are on, but I will be flipping back and forth.

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  21. I guess it says how much I watch wrestling by how weirded out I'am by seeing Lawler sitting on the right.

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  22. I'd think you'd have to bribe the cops to pull off a work like that, but sounds like such a thing is possible in Brazil.

    Wonder if flag kicking is actually not illegal as part of a performance, like R Truth's public smoking in the UK?

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  23. Remember how it seemed just a few weeks ago that Raw was so top heavy with heels? Now the top heel is Big Show. In 2012.

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  24. Sounds like there's yet another Punk/Bryan match on RAW...leading me to believe that Kane will be thrown in with them at NWO.

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  25. Well show is the ring summarizing everything that the opening montage went over.

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  26. No, we haven't.

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  27. I was being sarcastic. Every Kane angle ever involves him kidnapping women.

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  28.  Good I'm behind on the DVR and needed to knowa what to fast foraward.

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  29. SasukespecialmanMay 28, 2012 at 7:13 PM

    Did John Cena actually do that "loser" thing on RAW last week? Did that actually happen?

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  30. This is not an entertaining way to begin Raw.

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  31.  Wait I FF'ed too far, why is he hatin on Brodus?

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  32. As long as Teixeira/the other bats keep up this hot streak, I'll just watch the game and keep this thread open to read drunk Murphy, or see if by some accident there's something good on Raw.

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  33. The only good thing I can say about that opening is at least it didn't lead to Brodus getting squashed by the Big Show. 

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  34. Nice of Show to bring the promo around full circle with the whole "smile" thing. Thanks big guy!

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  35. It was a good promo with great motivations but the problem is that Big Show doesn't need this push. This is the type of stuff that they have to give to guys like Ziggler and Rhodes. Big Show can afford to aimlessly float the card and wrestle five minute matches on Raw, those guys can't. 

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  36. He's upset nobody cares that he was fired a few weeks back.

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  37.  If raw was three hours, you'd get the full effecdt of Drunk Murphy. As it is, you've got Sboering UP Murphy.

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  38. They gave the Big Show 15 minutes?!?!

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  39. You're not the only one.

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  40. The opening Big Show promo was borderline too boring to continue watching for me. If Kane is added to Punk vs Bryan I may just take the month off of wrestling.

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  41. Because he's mad that after he got fired the crowd moved on to the next match. In Brodus' defense I would have forgotten about Show if Naomi was dancing in front of me too.

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  42. that fuckin Big Sho promo dint not fuckign end!

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  43. I was thinking the same thing. So sad. Although maybe with Jericho suspended they'll program him with Orton again. But I doubt it. 

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  44. As the game started, I said to my girlfriend that I thought it was going to be "bowling shoe ugly," and then Weaver twisted his knee. I meant for the Yankees, but I'll take what I can get.

    Also, Murphy, have a drink!

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  45. Started hitting the vodka already, huh?

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  46. I'm certainly not up on my Brazilian rules regarding flags, and I bet I'm not the only one. You never know what Jericho, Punk and the WWE have come up with.

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  47. The WWE has done a better job establishing the Cobra as a finisher than they have with Brock's latest run.

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  48.  Just the ol' budewiesers & jaegher bombs earlier. actually roundin the bend toward sober now. at home with the kid so I gotta keep it in chekc.

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  49. SasukespecialmanMay 28, 2012 at 7:23 PM

    Why, why, WHY is Punk vs Bryan being tossed onto RAW? I don't get it... At Extreme Rules, we had three great matches. We were rewarded by them removing Lesnar from TV and being replaced by Johnny Ace. So at Over the Limit, we get two great matches - one of them being the best pure wrestling match on WWE tv in years. So, our reward? Cena vs Show, Kane being tossed into the title mix for no good reason, and Del Rio getting a one on one title shot... Are we being punished for something? Did I accidentally run over Vince Mcmahon's dog without knowing it (by "dog" I mean "son," and by "accidentally" I mean "repeatedly")? Please, save us Ted Turner! Start another company so that everyone over 40 will hired elsewhere and I can know that if I ever need a 20 minute rambling interview from HHH again, I can always tune into your product! Help us, Ted Turner, you are our only hope!

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  50.  Let's seee hjow it plays ot!

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  51. I wouldn't want to see Show SQUASH Brodus, but it'd be nice if this promo segued into that feud - Brodus needs a big-time feud, and Show should be helping to put new guys over.

    Just imagine the "gentle giant" Brodus standing up to Show and actually bringing the fight to him in the ring. Might actually *gasp* help create a new star!

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  52. Who would have ever thought that in May 2012 Big Show would be getting 15 minutes of promo time to open Raw and we'd be saying things like "The Celtics are in trouble without Avery Bradley in the lineup?"

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  53. A million guys on the roster with nothing to do and they have to feed the US champion to ADR? And fucking hell, Secretary Eve is hot.

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  54. You're doing a good job. Your spelling is pretty legible.

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  55. Why is John Laurinitis allowed to give an Iron Clad Contract to The Big Show, but not to Brock Lesnar?

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  56. Despite Daniel Bryan practically no-selling the move at Elimination Chamber.

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  57. Let's see how it plays out....

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  58. Duh, it's because... umm...

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  59. Could say the same thing about your drinking, but we all know it ends with a stomach pump.

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  60. If people didn't stay fired for only one week, maybe two at best, then we might care...

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  61. You've got one of those DVR's that don't rewind?

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  62. Nice to see Vickie recycling Jerry Lawler's 1995 ring tights.

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  63.  I was drunker than I was last week an hour agao, but now I"m soberert han I was then.

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  64. Haha, well, the NBA's changed, but WWE hasn't. But seriously, Bradley's one of the best on-ball defenders in the Association. His ability to check Wade one-on-one during the regular season was the biggest reason the C's owned the Heat. Now they've got their weakest defender, Allen, running around with bone spurs in his ankle trying to defend Wade. Biggest reason this series could get ugly fast.

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  65. SasukespecialmanMay 28, 2012 at 7:32 PM

    How DARE you propose a story line that doesn't involve Cena overcoming the odds! You my friend are UNAMERICAN!

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  66. I bet jack dolph finallyh win the taag titles heree.

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  67. Wouldn't it be funny if they did an angle where Vickie and Jerry were fucking around? I know he wouldn't because Jerry likes picking his girlfriends up from high school.

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  68. Not a bad starting inning. And I second the more drinks for Murphy suggestion.

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  69.  Would yo uhave wanted to make that Big SHow promo last any longer?

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  70. I had the exact same thought.

    Although, the way the pattern formed a kind of cod-piece on her was... oddly sexy.

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  71. Jerry Lawler hooking up with Shaul Guerrero is more likely. And by hooking up, I mean covering her face with a chloroform rag.

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  72. That shit looks like a hippie's rug.

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  73. Brodus/Show could be good to create a new star. But yes, the show must end with Cena standing tall at the end of the night and saluting the crowd. Preferably after another smug, smirking promo.

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  74. Jerry Lawler: the R. Kelly of the WWE.

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  75. Welllll, it's a Big Pro!(mo)

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  76. Lawler: Vicki realizes her men will have to go to the back of the line for a tag title opportunity.

    Which means they'll get a shot in 2 weeks.

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  77. The Bellas have been fired for a couple of weeks now!

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  78. Sure. Break up one of the few teams you have.

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  79. Wait a second, might we FINALLY be getting a storyline between Ziggler and Swagger? Two years after the fact?

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  80. Like the attitude on Brodus...he needed that.

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  81. "Forget about dancing...you won't be walking""

    I would have said that to Naomi as I passed her directions to my hotel room..

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  82. I guess Vince finally remembered the original plan?  Must have been reading this blog to get a refresher on his storylines...

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  83. It's been said a billion times, but I'll make it a billion and one - the company is only interested in writing storylines for the same people over and over again.

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  84. Can't lie, that was pretty awesome to see Clay get up his Show's face. Actually pumped to see this tonight. Finally some fire from the Funkasaurus.

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  85. and since i forgot it was memorial day i forgot it was monday... what i miss?

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  86. Even though I've been a big Swaggler cheerleader, if this means they're actually going to do something with Ziggler I'm okay with it. It's become apparent they aren't going to let Swaggler save the tag division anyway.  

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  87. I want to be positive and say something like "they're finally gonna give Ziggler something to do" but in reality he probably won't see Raw for a month.

    And I could go for a Brodus-Big Show feud.

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  88. Translating drunk Murphy. Get to it.

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  89.  Hell no I gota a good gig we got Memorial Day off

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  90. Well, looks like they're running with Show/Brodus tonight, though it's 99% sure to be a squash.

    To be fair, though, if Brodus has Cameron and Naomi to nurse him back to health, well, I can't feel too bad for him.

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  91. No kidding. That's how you can help a face gain some cred, just little things like that. Hopefully he gets some shine during the match.

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  92. I feel like I'm lettin gpeople down being less drunkn then I was. Should I do some shotS?

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  93. That went downhill friggin quick. Like I said, bowling shoe ugly.

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  94. I pray this leads to Ziggler moving up the card. Guess we will have to wait and see.

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  95. Brilliant!

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  96. I had the same thought, that's there's only, like, two teams ahead of them.

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  97. I'll bet that when Johnny Ace's voice gets hoarse he sounds normal.

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  98. "This game is gonna be bigger than Pac-Man!"

    OK, that made me chuckle.

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  99. They;'re plugging WWE 13, does that mean they're gonna start selling WWE 12 for cheaper?

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  100. God, that was hideous. Almost made me want to tune into Raw.

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  101. Oh yay, here comes Punk to call Ace "lame" and "a toolshed".

    I really hate the way Punk has been neutered. Next big break-out star, down the drain.

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  102. Wait...does this mean they're actually going to let Punk-Bryan main event? Punk's getting mic time and two segments? Is Cena not here tonight?

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  103. Really, shouldn't Punk be upset the video game is coming out before the ice cream bar?

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  104. Yeah. For the next 30 minutes do a shot everytime Cole says something stupid.

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  105. Punk/Ace is Austin/Vince written by five-year olds.

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  106. Exactly. Maybe he can call him a big jerk or stinky pants this time. WWE just had to take away what got him over and give him their pg rated comedy lines.

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  107. That was obviously too much to ask...

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  108. I see Punk is flirting with Eve so he can add to his Diva checklist.

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  109. OLE OLE OLE OLE OLEEEE OLEEEE!

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  110. Let's just wait and see where they go with it.

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  111. Ole Anderson is in the house??

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  112. Shhhh! WWE doesn't want you to notice that John Cena and CM Punk are exactly the same character.

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  113. I'll admit Punk hasn't really cut very many entertaining promos over the last few months, but the guy's wrestled three 4+ star matches in a row so I'll cut him some slack.

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  114. Good God I hope Sin Cara gets busted for coke again and gets fired. What a talentless hack

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  115. Actually, probably not.  But you will get more for your money:

    http://www.cinemablend.com/games/wwe-12-wrestlemania-edition-coming-may-41051.html

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  116. Sheamus, as well.

    God forbid they actually foster different characters to appeal to different demographics.

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  117.  Punk used to come out to the same song as El Generico. His buddy Samoa Joe gets creidt ifor inventing the Ole Kick but Mikkey Whipwreck claims it was him.

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  118. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    Reminds me of Rikishi who could have an edge to him when he wasn't dancing or sticking his ass in his opponent's face, and I don't mean when he did it for The Rock.

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  119. Isn't Shaul kind of old for Jerry?

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  120. I definitely preferred Hunico in the role.

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  121. All 3 even lay out their matches the same way.

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  122. Never let facts get in the way of a good joke.

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  123. Oh, I wasn't trying to slag Punk, I was slagging Vince.

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  124.  It's WWE,e veryone lays out their matches the same way.

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  125. i think imma pass on this week. final fantasy tactics isnt gonna play itself.

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  126. I'm talking about the finishing sequences. Every top level face does it same way. It's like they won't push any face who doesn't have the 5 moves of doom.

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  127. Yeah, but that's what made Cena/Lesnar feel even more special.

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  128. Do a shot every time they mention either twitter, 'longest running episodic' (fill in the rest) or show an anti bullying ad.

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  129. This is a company who snds the most accomplished indie wrestlers in the world to reeducationa camp to learn WWE style. O fcourse all their top faces work the same. That's how they want it.

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  130.  I think the issue is one of basic style incompatibility. I watched SC 1 as Mistico for years and the results were never less than good. But sticking him into a promotion based on a House Style was only asking for trouble, on top of the language barrier. They were better off just giving the gimmick to Hunico from the get-go and letting him go for it.

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  131. I know all of this. I'm pointing out how retarded it is. Go do a shot. 

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  132. You know what would be a money angle? Eve seducing Punk for some evil Johnny Ace plot. It works on the mark level -- Eve is hot & Johnny Ace is bad. And it works on the smark level -- CM Punk will drill any diva with a pulse.

    Really, anything to get Eve Wearing Glasses more airtime is worth it to me.

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  133. I liked evil "Alternate Universe" Sin Cara in the black.

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  134. Don't use that word aroudn me you bigoted asshole.

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  135. nice shot at king abt girls leaving him for another guy.

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  136. I'm liking this match a little more than the OTL match. This has a much faster pace.

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  137. Good God...the more twisted AJ gets, the hotter she gets.

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  138. [Homer Simpson] MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm...AJ. [/Homer Simpson]

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  139. I'd actually be willing to see a Punk/Kane/Bryan 3 way, if only to see the lenthgs to which Punk & Bryan would go to get Kane out of the ring so they can have a real match.

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  140. Sweet Jeebus, I would do naughty things with AJ. Also, the match wasn't half-bad either.

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  141. Holy shit! A clean finish to Punk/Bryan? Does this mean they aren't going to interject Kane needlessly into the WWE title match at No Way Out? 

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  142. It's a Memorial Day show. It'll end with Cena saluting.

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  143. You must be really drunk now. 

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  144. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    Well CM Punk did bang Daffney so I guess he does dig crazy chicks. 

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  145. I don't really mind Kane getting involved in this angle as long as he doesn't walk away with the title and/or AJ. To me, it's a signal that the WWE wants to draw this angle out through the summer, which is definitely a good thing.

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  146.  Kane got a good 3 way out of Raven & Big Show, he can certainly get one with Punk & Bryan. But of course  I'd rather not see him hinvolved.

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  147. Who doesn't? Crazy chicks make the best lays. 

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  148. Let's be serious, who among us wouldn't have banged Daffney?

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  149. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:26 PM

    Does anyone else secretly imagine altering Miz's theme music to 'I CAME TO JOB!' or is it just my pathetic sense of humour? 

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  150. ugh miz on my tv... kill me now.

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  151. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:27 PM

    I do miss 'Zombie Hot'! 

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  152. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:27 PM

    Miz has been overusing chinlocks as of late.

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  153. I'm confused as to why there are two brands. The IC title is the secondary belt on Smackdown, held by a Smackdown guy (I think), defended against a Raw guy with another Smackdown guy on commentary. So why isn't this on Smackdown? And also what's the point of the US Title? 

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  154. The other day it totally tripped me out to read Raw results from a show I went to in 97 and I realized one of the dark matches was an unsigned Edge vs. Christian, in what was probably their first tryout match.

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  155. Well screw it. Looks like we can forget the CM Punk/Daniel Bryan rematch at No Way Out—here comes Kane to ruin the gloriousness.

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  156. I lvoe Christian but that is the UGLIEST fucking Frog splash I've ever seen. He nees to watch some old Eddie or D'Lo tapes.

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  157. Another clean finish? Did the writers/bookers take the night off?

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  158. The Miz. Most expensive job guy in wrestling history.

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  159. Can Otunga turn down the volume on that fucking sweater??

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  160. It's you. Miz has the second-worst entrance music in the company, behind Cody.

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  161. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    Otunga and Eve are the new Briscoe and Patterson! 

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  162. I smell Bryan pinning Kane (thanks to AJ's accidental interference) to win the title at NWO, setting up Punk's rematch at MITB. Then AJ could overtly screw Punk at MITB, revealing that she was in bed with Bryan all along. Then Punk (dare I say) overcomes the odds at SummerSlam to win the title back.

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  163. Free tickets to the military, eh? WWE is totally patriotic.

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  164. Miz should start preping for a run at the Real World challenge shows.

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  165. I like the thought of a Miz-Orton feud. THat way, instead of them boring me in two different matches, they do it in just one.

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  166. Miz the hooker: Earning checks on his back.

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  167. My buddy got some of those when he was in the army, and this was like 6 years ago now. They stuck him & his unit in the seats that are wedged in behind the Titantron, so they couldn't see shit. Said it was worse than watching on TV.

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  168. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    Looks like they might going for a Ziggler and Orton feud. They've had good television matches in the past so I'd love to see what they could do on Pay-Per-View. 

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  169. He's actually held more than one championship on those.

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  170. That RKO spot looked so contrived.

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  171. Dirty_Dave_DelaneyMay 28, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    John Cena's tribute to the troops or just another ploy to get people to cheer him? 

    It was a nice tribute anyway! 

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  172.  I guess the Punt is banned, from what Orton said in an interview. But I guess that was supposed to be Miz's write-off while he's making Marine 3?

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  173. Creative idiot number 1: "Hey guys Jericho kicked a rag and got himself suspended. We need a new program for Orton."

    Creative idiot number 2: "The wheel says it's The Miz's turn."

    Creative idiot number 1: "Ok. How do we set it up?"

    Creative idiot number 2: "Miz cuts a bitchy promo and Orton randomly RKO's him for no apparent reason?"

    Creative idiot number 1: "And we can stretch it out over 3 months with escalating gimmick matches for no discernible reason! BOOK IT! They don't call us creative for nothing!"

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  174.  It's kind of a weird finisher for him, though, especially using it after the Tomikaze.

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  175. Nonsense.  Brock Lesnar is the most expensive job guy in history.

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  176. Not quite sure I like Kane v. CM Punk on Smackdown. 

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  177.  He's actually been doing it forever, he did it back in his Brood days, and it was one of his moves in WM2K/No Mercy. He just needs to clean it up a little.

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  178. Let's see how it plays out.

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  179. Wow, has it really been EIGHT YEARS since the "real" world title has been defended on SmackDown? Didn't HHH hold it for a while in 2008 on SmackDown? I'm drawing a blank here....

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  180. Still, Miz is looking straight at him and Orton gives him an rko? It looked bad and did nothing for anyone.

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  181. McMahon should totally make a "Great White" T-shirt for Sheamus and gear it towards the Aryans and skinheads.

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  182. Otunga is really, really bad in the ring.

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  183. Unless David Otunga is Krang, that Brogue Kick didn't "hit him right in the skull!" Cole.

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  184. I applaud your Ninja Turtle reference.

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  185. Loving the hype they're giving Big Show vs Brodus, it's something fresh. And I'm all over that ECW Blu-ray when it comes out.

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  186. Not looking forward to this BURIAL of Clay....

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  187. Mostlikely it will be:

    a.) Show squashes Clay like a bug but loses VIA distraction from Cena.
    b.) Show squashes Clay like a bug and he can't continue.

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  188. Wow.  MORE Fat Slow on the mic.  Just what the doctor ordered.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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  189. Cameron and Naomi are crying!! I'll console you....

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