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The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant–05.21.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 05.21.12

Live from Richmond, VA

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

John Cena starts us out, and he’s ANGRY about losing to Big Johnny. So he shrugs off the Rock loss at Wrestlemania, but THIS makes him mad? Anyway, he defends his toying with Johnny instead of beating him, by noting that Big Show would have saved his new boss had he been in any real jeopardy. He stresses over and over how crappy things are under Big Johnny, until the man himself interrupts. He’s riding a scooter and has damage to several different areas of his body, and from now on if anyone touches him, they’re fired. And the main event of No Way Out next month: John Cena v. EVIL BIG SHOW. Show does the old “I don’t owe you an explanation” thing, but then changes his mind and blames the fans. The one time they don’t swerve the obvious storyline twist and it’s the one that gives us Big Show v. Cena.

David Otunga v. John Cena

Otunga attacks and stops to pose, which allows Cena to destroy him with the usual at 1:38. Cena gets attacked by Hawkins/Rex/O’Neil/Young, but Sheamus makes the save and cleans house on the geeks. And as a result, it’s Sheamus & Cena v. three guys in a lumberjack match.

Alberto Del Rio v. Randy Orton

Santino does a run-in on Ricardo’s ring introductions and has a pretty funny exchange with him, making fun of his accent and then chasing him off with the Cobra. “That’s not even a real cobra, stupid, that’s just my arm in a cobra costume!” We also get their obnoxious announcement of the 1000th episode, where they once again ignore any other competitors that don’t make them the longest-running show ever. Once again, dozens of other sports and wrestling shows have gone well over 1000 episodes, but they just choose not to acknowledge that. Del Rio works on the arm after the break (and between the intros, the 1000th episode stuff, and the entrances, that’s the FOURTH commercial break already for this match!) but misses a charge and ends up on the floor. Orton comes back with the powerslam and draping DDT, but Chris Jericho runs in for the DQ at 7:20. *1/2 Jericho is still claiming to be the best in the world, although with all the jobs he’s doing on the way out it’s kind of diluting his case. I kind of thought they’d go with Sheamus v. Orton as the program, but instead it’s the insta-feud booking.

Daniel Bryan, at the top of the hour no less, is out to complain about making CM Punk tap out without getting the title out of it, so he DEMANDS A REMATCH. Well at least they have an actual issue now. Punk comes out and shows the video from Smackdown, setting up…

Daniel Bryan v. Kane

Kane beats on him in the corner, but Bryan escapes a chokeslam and hits a suicide dive on the floor. This allows Punk to grab a chair and try the same gag on Kane again, which then backfires on Bryan and it’s a DQ at 1:47. Kane chokeslams the crap out of Bryan for that, and Punk puts him in the Anaconda Vice for good measure.

Meanwhile, CM Punk has another awkward run-in with AJ, the only diva he’s ever turned down.

Christian v. Jinder Mahal

Christian quickly hits the inverted DDT, but Mahal backdrops him to the floor. Back in, Mahal controls with a butterfly suplex and chinlock, but Christian gets a sunset flip for two. The crowd still hasn’t caught on that Christian is a babyface again. Mahal escapes the Killswitch and hits a high knee, but another try finishes for Christian after a frog splash at 3:08. Just a match. *

Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix

Beth beats Kelly down for two, but Kelly gets a rana. Beth comes back and misses a charge, allowing Kelly to get the GIANT SWING OF DOOM, but Beth blocks the handspring elbow with a clothesline and finishes with the Glam Slam at 2:25. Can we please never see this matchup again now? Please? ½*

John Cena & Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & Lord Tensai

The lumberjacks are all Team Johnny geeks, lest there was any confusion. Sheamus dominates Ziggler and slugs it out with Tensai, and we get the spot where all the heels beat up on Sheamus, but he fights them off. Back in, Tensai takes over on Sheamus and we take a break. Anyway, we come back and I’m too bored to recap this further, as Sheamus gets beat up by Tensai for a while and then Cena gets the hot tag before a big lumberjack brawl signals a Sportz Entertainment Finish at 15:00 or so. And then Cena immediately heads backstage, where the ninja-like 400 pound Big Show sneaks up on him for a knockout punch to end the show. Seriously, if they’re gonna book the entire show around John Cena, just put the damn title back on him already.

The Pulse:

No, I’m not quitting when we get to the three hour RAWs, don’t worry. I wish I was, though, because now I have to go through four weeks of buildup to JOHN CENA V. BIG SHOW and probably another four weeks to the rematch as well. And if you think these shows are dull, just wait until they have to add another hour of content.

Comments

  1. When you're rehashing feuds already done in the HD era, it's time to go back to the draw.....

    Eh, fuck it. Who cares about a drawing board when you have Vince McMahon?

    Here's hoping for Kane to dilute the Punk/Bryan feud even more. Who knows? Maybe we will get the debut of the THREE FOOT PENIS OF DOOM (~!!!!!!!!!!!)

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  2. You really owe it to yourself to try watching the Punk/Bryan match from last night. It's legitimately worth it.

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  3. Southern_DiscomfortMay 22, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    You know, after six years I finally decided to quit smoking this past Friday. It's been almost four days now, including nights out, with no real issues...until tonight. Good lord did I ever have the shakes.

    I never realized what a trigger shitty wrestling television has been these past few years.

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  4. I'll probably try to squeeze in a PPV review on Friday instead of Smackdown.  We'll see what develops.

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  5. They should have done the "What did the five fingers say to the face bitch?" taunt after Big Show punched John Cena.....

    That said; I wonder if most of this shit is due to HHH pulling "I'm fucking the boss's daughter" rank and declaring Brock Lesner his and his alone to fight until further notice. Big Show being turned again to replace Brock along with Johnny Ace subbing for Brock at the PPV, because the McMahons are assholes who want to keep Brock off of TV until it's time to make him lose to HHH to further hammer home how they want to punish him for leaving like he did.

    As for AJ, just reunite her and Bryan already. Punk's not going to bite and moreso, they need to just have her being Harley to Bryan's Joker.
     

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  6. Gotta say, Raw laid a stinky egg tonight. That first segment, while Laurinaitis was amusing, was extremely boring. I actually think the best thing to come out of this show was Christian using the Lo-Down as a finisher. Do WWE actually have guys who use a top rope moves as a finishing move anymore? Rey's been gone a long time, Kofi's cross-body is more of a signature move, Sin Cara's been gone for a long time, too and I don't know if the Spanish Fly was really his finisher or what.

    But yeah, Raw needs to get better as they move to 3 hours. Angles are advancing, which is fine; but they're not angles that a lot of people want to see.

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  7. And BTW, wasn't trying to be a douche bag in the OTL thread yesterday. I'm rather new here, so if I came off as one, I apologize. 

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  8. I don't get why Scott questions Cena being angry for losing to Johnny over losing to the Rock.  The Rock is a HOF so losing to him isn't embarassing. Losing to a retired career midcarder is embarassing and thus, Cena should be angry about that.  It's like questioning Goldberg being angry for jobbing to David Arquette (ok, I know that didn't really happen) instead of jobbing to Brock Lesnar.

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  9.  Cena should be more mad at himself than anyone lol. He should have just AA'd Ace, pinned him. Then beat him up for 10 minutes.

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  10. Dammit, Scott, you got to let it go, because they're technically correct about their milestone. The key is in the phrase "weekly episodic". Weekly means shows that follow the traditional primetime format of one episode a week (so throw out 5x a week stuff like soap operas) and "episodic" meaning "fiction" (and that's not quite the word they wanna use on TV, I'm sure), so you can throw out news magazines, SportsCenter et al. And because they're going by episode count and not seasons, it doesn't matter that "The Simpsons" premiered first.

    So yes, it's incredibly specific superlative, but...in the very, very, very narrow fashion they weave their record, they are correct.

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  11. I don't think there's so much of a HHH conspiracy behind it as much as it is Brock only has a certain number of contractually obligated shows in his contract.  They already burned five or so through Extreme Rules and he only has 20 or so left IIRC, so they are forced to use him sparingly.  Talk about really limiting what you can do with a guy, though, that has that type of a structured deal.

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  12. Yeah, I'm thinking that we're going to get a triple threat of Kane-Bryan-Punk for No Way Out.  I hope that's not the case, but I'm resigned to it.  The only positive is that it will make sure the Punk-Bryan feud reaches SummerSlam or other subsequent PPV's.

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  13. No Way Out main event: First ever three way hell in a cell, Kane's 3 ft. penis on a pole match. The swerve will be that Kane's 3 ft. dick is actually, and always has been, Hornswoggle.

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  14. Adding Kane could be a huge boost, potentially. Let's wait and see how it plays out.

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  15.  Give him the World Title and let him only speak on Videos and only defeating the title at the PPV or so. :) That's how UFC is making PPV buys...

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  16. WOW does this show sound like it was brutal. I guess watching hockey/basketball was a much better way to spend the night!

    It's a shame too because the PPV last night was way better than it had any right to be discounting the main event that we all knew was going to suck anyway.

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  17. SasukespecialmanMay 22, 2012 at 2:00 AM

    Agreed. Oddly enough, Cena learned a lesson last night about bullying. When you bully someone older, weaker and generally defenceless, someone even BIGGER is going to come and punch you in the face. Hey! I learned something from wrestling! Kind of odd, though, that the WWE is getting its message across at expense of their "#1 babyface".

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  18. Why are we getting Show/Cena when Tensai/Cena is right there?  Granted, both are going to suck, but Tensai/Cena will suck slightly less.  And we haven't seen it before.  I'm also fascinated by how much of a train wreck it could be.   Would smarks lower themselves to THAT level and cheer A-Train just to be spiteful?

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  19. "Seriously, if they’re gonna book the entire show around John Cena, just put the damn title back on him already."

    I think it's official now: as much as Punk told Jericho in his promos that Y2J was never "the man" despite being champion but he (Punk) is, he is totally in the same category as Jericho or Benoit now. great worker who will always be over enough to warrant a title run but who is very unlike to be a WWE megastar.

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  20. Also, maybe it's because it's late and I'm running on a lack of sleep, but I'd be immensely amused if it turned out that everybody was swerving everybody in the Punk/Bryan/AJ love triangle.  To elaborate: Bryan promises to get back with AJ if she seduces Punk to act as a distraction but she goes further and sleeps with Punk to get back at Bryan only to have Punk then kick her to the curb because he saw through it all.

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  21. I don't know, I mean "megastar" is a subjective term because those guys got special moments, moments that have far more value than others...

    An example of what I'm talking about would be John Cena retaining at Wrestlemania 23: Great moment for him beating Shawn, but what does it really mean in the grand scheme of things?

    Jericho, though, walked into Wrestlemania 18 holding both the WCW and WWF Championships, and Benoit got the greatest celebration in Wrestlemania history (in a moment never to be played on TV again)...

    I guess, to me, that's an even cooler Wrestlemania moment because it's a working class hero who built their own legacy, rather than have one carved out for them by Vince.

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  22.  ...but how does The Rock being the man behind it all fit in?

    Oh, sorry, thought you were Jesse....my bad, my bad...

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  23. Over the Limit was the 5th straight PPV (and one of them was in his hometown) that the WWE Champion hasn't headlined. And the only reason he headlined the PPV before that was because Cena wasn't on the card. I think that says it all about Punk's positioning as 'the man'.

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  24. I can't believe I'm about to type this, but WWE should really think about hiring Russo. Vince and the rest of creative has shown no ability in working multiple angles. The result is boring tv. Funkasaurus exists solely to kill time before video packages. This type of shit almost never happened back in 98 because just about everyone had an angle going so there was never any time for it.

    And sometimes it didn't make sense, but I'll take that over boring any day. Really, when you think about it, the only times you need to tune into Raw are 9:00, 10:00, and 11. You could go weeks without watching the rest of it and not miss a thing. With Raw going 3 hours, let Russo book the undercard and hopefully McMahon will keep some of his crazier ideas in check.

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  25. It's funny how things work out. Years ago, if you told the IWC that CM Punk and Bryan Danielson would be feuding for the WWE Title and getting the chance to put a ****+ match on PPV, you would have thought that the WWE had turned a corner and finally learned to put on a product to make us happy. Instead, they're feuding in an era where the television is extremely dull and they're completely overshadowed by Cena's feuds with Johnny Ace and The Big Show, so it's tough to feel that we finally got what we always wanted.

    It kinda worked the same way when Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero were the company's two world champions. This was the scenario the IWC had wanted for years, but it was tough to feel completely satisfied when Eddie had to headline an awful Smackdown program and feud with Bradshaw, and Benoit had to feud with Kane and play second fiddle to Triple H.

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  26. Show and Cena have never had a real quality fued, 2008 was pretty bad in fact. But this could, I stress, COULD be good. If Big Show can invoke Mark Henry circa last Fall, this could be good.

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  27. Favorite match of the night?  Lil' Naitch vs the rubber sanitary gloves.

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  28. Does Cena really think that Big Show would have made it to the ring in time to break up a pin?  I give them credit for at least attempting to explain it, but it's still idiotic. 

    I really am close to being totally done watching Raw, as it's no longer worth my time and the Cena stuff is beyond awful.  Despite being awesome, Punk is slowly being turned into just another guy, and I can always catch his segments on Youtube later if I want, as him and D-Bry are the only reason I am watching.  I don't give a fuck about Brodus, Big Show, HHH and his stupid board of directors, Cena, Tensai, Del Rio, or Orton.  So of course they get all the TV time and all the wins.  The guys I actually like besides Punk and Bryan are Kofi and Dolph, and they either get jobbed out or put in meaningless filler matches.

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  29. I chuckled at his  whole "you don't think the Big Show would have stopped a three count" reasoning. Riiiiight, cause all of sudden Big Show is this speedy mofo?

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  30. Lol...wow some people will eat any bowl of shit vince serves them with a big smile on there face. I hope your trolling but if your serious it must feel good to know your the target demo for wwe

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  31. I think we've both been in agreement on this before: say what you will about Crash TV, but it was never boring.  They don't need Russo, but they need someone with a little bit of Russo in him. 

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  32. I agree with you completely. 

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  33. Here's the question that's on my mind:

    They hot-shotted Cena/Lesnar for this?!?!

    The fact that Cena/Lesnar isn't the big summer feud absolutely and completely blows my mind. They even had a reason to drag the feud out since they only had Lesnar contracted for a certain number of dates and had PAUL HEYMAN available to keep the feud going in his absence.

    Instead, we get Cena/Big Show and a Lesnar/HHH feud built around legalse. The Cena/Big Show feud is pretty terrible....but compared to what it could be with Lesnar, it's absolutely fucking terrible.

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  34. ah, whatever. I'm allowed to have an opinion. It's getting really old here that somebody gets called a troll when they don't have to same jaded view as most on this blog. I've been watching wrestling for almost 30 years, give me a break wise guy.

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  35. This.  Hate the game, not the playa!

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  36. Would anybody be happier if they were pushing Tensai over Show considering Tensai isn't over at all? At least people are slightly invested in Show. I would rather see Tensai in the spot, though.

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  37. They must really have no faith in Lesnar. Or Matt Bloom. That's the only thing I can think of.

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  38. You're.  Both times.

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  39. A few thoughts on Raw...
    1. This is why people boo Cena. The entire locker room comes out to defend him and he LEAVES in the middle of the fight? Who does that?

    2. CM Punk reminds me of a cross between Austin and Michaels just without the booze and drugs. If they would just build the show around punk I would have no problem with Cena vs Big Show.

    3. It seems to me the main diffrence between Vince and Johnny Ace is that is was fun to hate Vince. Mostly you just want Ace to go away..

    4 Why doesn't Triple H wrestle more? Love him or hate him he's they could use another top tier guy out there.

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  40. Well, it's not like Hulk Hogan had nothing but awesome talent to work with in the 80's.  If you want to be the top dog, you need to be able to keep people's interest no matter who you are wrestling.  Sadly, Eddie and Benoit couldn't do that.

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  41. That's a good point....they were probably banking on a Cena/Tensai feud for the summer.

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  42. Couldn't agree with more on #2. Cena/Big Show is like an "attraction" feud that should support the real feud on top.

    I disagreed with people saying Cena should've taken time off after WrestleMania or after Extreme Rules....but if the best they can do is a Big Show feud, he really, really needed to take some time off.

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  43. They seriously need to bring Vince Russo back. Seriously.

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  44.  I hope Big Show breaks out his second rope dropkick against Cena. I always mark out for that.

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  45. It also makes me wonder how if they're going to book the whole show around Cena why didn't they just give Brock the title so when he does make a special appearance it means something as he's the champion and would not only bring credibility to the belt but heel heat as well as he feels he is too "good" to defend his title on a regular basis. Guess that would make too much sense though.

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  46.  I'm sure they realized they screwed the pooch on that one when Cena beat him rather convincingly at Extreme Rules.

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  47.  As long as Russo doesn't mind half of his ideas ending up in the can I'd say that's a great idea. They might butt heads in the back but Russo pairing up with the old schoolies like Jim Ross and Cornette produced the best era for the company.

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  48. Bit of a threadjack, but finding out that
    a) it was actually Vince who came up with the Jericho no talking angle and
    b) that Jericho thought the CM Drunk angle was phenomenal

    really makes me think Jericho's creative mind is way overrated.

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  49. I was hoping Brock would have a Hollywood Hogan type reign popping in here and there to defend the title. Evidently he will just be JTTS. Why is WWE avoiding Cena vs. Punk?

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  50.  That's exactly what I was going for. Hogan always talked about how he was the greatest when he was champ in WCW but never ever backed his shit up. Only at the PPV brother. I would have crossed that character with someone like say, Vader. Have Lesnar just destroy jobbers every once in awhile before his big PPV rematch and have him cut pretaped promos talking about how great he is like that one before Extreme Rules.

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  51. That idea would be so much better, but then again your not a failed tv writer and there's no drama and intrigue in that idea like you would get on csi or matlock or whatever other shows vince thinks he's competing against

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  52.  That JBL/Eddie feud was pretty great near the end. JBL was pretty amazing as well.

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  53.  Rikishi was there solely to dance before he did it for The Rock.

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  54. Probably...but the best they could do is Big Show? Why not elevate someone ELSE to feud with Cena? I dunno...Christian just came back...obviously he's not a physical threat to Cena but definitely a guy who can fuck with him through Flair-esque heel chicanery.

    Or even have Cena go against a stable? Put Dolph, Swagger and Big Show (or some other guys) together. Have all the heels on RAW against Cena. They all hate him anyway!

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  55. And yet we find this out the same week we find out about Vince wanting the 3 foot Kane cock.

    When you're right 51% of the time, you're wrong 49% of the time.

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  56. Well if Russo was still there when Rikishi debuted, I'm sure he would have had him doing more than just dancing.

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  57. Yeah, but they can't just hire some magical guy who'll take over and steer the ship. As long as the triumvirate of Vince, HHH and Stephanie run the show, the company will be continuing the same dumbshit course they always do after WM is over.

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  58. Yeah, but in the video packages last night they weren't saying their usual "Weekly episodic entertainment" line, they were just saying "More than any other show!" which is of course patently wrong.  Plus Michael Cole said RAW has been live and on Mondays every week since 93, which is a bold-faced lie in both cases.  

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  59. Well, I'm sure he was the one who thought to come out with those light-up jackets.

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  60.  Because as we all know the American way is to blame something else for your addictive habits. WWE Y U MAKE ME SMOKE SO MUCH U SO BAD

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  61. I think that the company is avoiding Cena vs. Punk because they're working hard to protect Cena's heat. Cena's not going to get booed against Ace or Big Show or Tensai.

    But he'll be COMPLETELY hated against Punk, who's arguably the most popular wrestler in the company. The last thing WWE wants Cena to have is another run against a guy who DESTROYED him promo-wise last year. I honestly think this is a key year in Cena's career because if the company continues to flounder creatively like this, they have to really consider who they've been pushing as their main attraction for the past few years.

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  62. Can someone fill me in to the Kane thing?

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  63. Someone that I'm now wondering regarding 3 hour Raws- how long is that going to make the tapings? Don't they normally run for around 3 hours already? I just can't imagine the crowd being alive for 4+ hours after the change.

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  64. All you have to do is watch the opening credits of a WWE show (you know, that "the world is watching" sequence showing former/current stars). It ends with Cena holding up the title saying "the champ is here" and I think before, it was HHH who ended it. That's who the biggest star of RAW generally is.

    They'll never put a guy like Punk on the end of that thing, no matter how much they should.

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  65. For some reason I thought the two overlapped.

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  66. He did it for The Rock. He did it for The People.

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  67. That's exactly what they should have done. Lance Storm did a recent interview and mentioned how he would have booked Lesnar's appearances to be ppv money matches. WWE is wasting huge money on Brock. The Hollywood Hogan template would have worked perfectly.

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  68. They're going to start the tapings at 7:30, so only really time for a dark match or two. I assume they'll do the bulk of the Superstars taping on Tuesday now since they tape NXT elsewhere.

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  69. The company seems afraid of letting Cena get booed again. There's no need to randomly turn Big Show the nth time to feud with him, when you already have some heels just sitting around like Miz and Ziggler who could feud with Cena. Problem is that if either of them actually have an even feud with Cena (as opposed to SuperCena fighting off Swaggler and beating various other odds), they might - GASP - get over and get cheered once in a while.

    Cena/Bryan could also be amazing - after the ****+ matches Punk got out of him last year, I'm sure we could see some classics with Bryan. Of course that could lead to half the crowd (or more) cheering for Bryan and against Cena, which by WWE logic is unacceptable.

    So we'll just see more heels that nobody actually cares about now (Tensai, Show, probably Kane again after a couple more heel/face/heel/face turns) for Cena to keep beating against the odds. But it's all good, as nobody'll care enough about his opponents to want to cheer them.

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  70. Good to see that Scott is going to give the 3-hour Raws the old college try. Todd Martin at the Observer site is already tapping out to them 2 months before the switchover occurs!

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  71. Another massive hole (not that it makes a difference at this point) is that Laurinaitis claimed he hired Big Show back on Saturday, meaning Big Show was in fact a 'WWE superstar' during his interference on Sunday, meaning he should be fired... right?

    The mind boggles. 

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  72. Eh, I don't buy that they're afraid to put him in situations where he'll get booed.  They booked him against THE ROCK in Miami, for goodness sake.  And they had Brock's big return after a multi-year absence occur by coming to the ring and hitting Cena with an F5.

    They're basically keeping Cena away from the WWE Championship and putting him against the monster of the month (Kane, Lesnar, Big Show, etc.)  It's similar to what they did with Hogan when Warrior or Savage had the title.

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  73. Really though, only Rock/Cena and Brock/Cena were justified main events. Having Kane vs. Cena main event Elimination Chamber still makes no sense, and Big Johnny vs. Cena definitely wasn't main event worthy.

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  74. I did enjoy Sheamus taking out the six guys in the ME.  

    Punk/Bryan still is great

    Not much else from this.

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  75. Believe it or not, there are actually people who are Big Show marks.

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  76. Slowly?  He's been "just another guy" since Survivor Series.

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  77. Bingo.  Even when they had Heyman doing the Smackdown Six, they still controlled the general direction of the show.  The best case you get is some great midcard stuff.  The McMahons will never give the main event stuff over.

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  78. I think he flubbed his lines and meant to say Sunday night after the PPV.  He also said if anyone touched him they'd be fired and Sheamus shoved him coming out to help Cena and wasn't fired.

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  79. One of the writers of the Kane movie See No Evil did an interview last week where he said that Vince came up for an idea of Kane getting his wang out in the film, and insisting it should be three foot long

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  80. I actually fell asleep before the main event (guess that shows you how into this show I was), but now that I think of it, that's what I've been doing lately.  I was actually shocked at how disjointed and frankly strange Cena's promo was at the beginning.  Other than Santino and Ricardo's interactions, and Bryan/Punk, the rest was must-miss TV....so I did lol.  It definitely has made wrestling viewing much less stressful.  And full disclosure, I was in the "let it play out" camp, but unfortunately the way it's playing out is not remotely interesting to me.

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  81. Vince wants the Lesnar/HHH match to end with HHH pulling down Brock's trunks revealing a half-inch penis, followed by a Pedigree through the ring.  The remainder of the PPV will be replays of said Pedigree, interspersed with clips of Brodus Clay dancing around the arena, and Zack Ryder and JR eating poisoned BBQ sauce.

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  82. god that angle was fun! lil naitch lol.

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  83. Southern_DiscomfortMay 22, 2012 at 10:50 AM

     I sort of agree, only because I prefer being confused to bored.

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  84. I don't know, after watching Raw I realized that I had picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

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  85. Southern_DiscomfortMay 22, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    All I'm saying is I never realized how many smoke breaks I took during a normal turgid episode of Raw until I didn't take any smoke breaks.

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  86. This error was corrected later in the show, and explained that Big Show and Johnny had a verbal contract on Saturday, and Big Show officially signed the deal Monday morning.

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  87.  Better alternative: Nap breaks.

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  88. Christopher HirschMay 22, 2012 at 11:57 AM

    Chrisian as a face really sucks. He is so bland as a face.

    Loved Big Johnny completely blowing the date he hired Show back, haha typical Johnny. Its McMaon versus Austin, except way more lame in Johnny vs. Cena.

    Jericho was one of the lumberjacks, I guess he came back to just job to everyone?

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  89. Christopher HirschMay 22, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    Also, the only thing holding back Lord Tensai was the name Lord, he will be on fire now!

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  90.  It's closer to Belding vs Morris.

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  91. He did it for...he did it for...he did it...aww shut your mouth you thong wearing fatty!

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  92. Vince Russo's first day back...

    VR: Vince, I want to bring back the WCW Invasion, with Jeff Jarrett leading th....

    VM: You're fired.

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  93. Well don't expect anyone to ever lament the missed opportunity that was the "Jeritroll" gimmick ever again. It doesn't fit the "millionaire who should be a billionaire" narrative.

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  94. The fact that the Johnny and Big Show feuds feel so lazy and thrown together is probably further evidence that Cena WAS supposed to take time off for the summer.

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  95. He regularly beats Swagger and Dolph in under five minutes so where's the threat?

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  96. I wouldn't even say "near the end" - those two had awesome chemistry, and had some great matches together.

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  97. Gotta disagree - sure, that may have been the initial plan, but as soon Rikishi started getting over, they DID something with him. That's the problem - guys now have almost NO mobility, their position on the totem-pole is determined before they even debut, and it's 99% certain that they'll remain in that position no matter how the fans take to them.

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  98. That'd still be a step up, though - I'd rather have a boring main-event scene with a great undercard than a boring main-event scene with a terrible undercard.

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  99. Totally agree - Punk is still new, so it makes sense that, yes, sometimes certain matches will trump whatever match he's in (WM and ER), but it's ridiculous that the friggin' CHAMPION hasn't main-evented a PPV in six months! How can he be seen as a main-eventer if they don't allow him to BE a main-eventer?

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  100. See, I'm surprised that anybody would consider last night's PPV "better than it had any right to be" - yes, we all knew that Cena/Laurinaitis was going to suck, but I fully expected the two title matches to be fantastic, and they were. I was looking forward to the tag-title match, as well.

    Yeah, the joke main-event and lack of any real build-up for the two titles matches were huge negatives, but that wasn't going to hurt the actual in-ring work of most of the card.

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  101. It's not exactly the direction I would have picked, but I'd actually be up for a Punk/Bryan/Kane match - I like the dynamic of the two smaller guys and the one big brute. Plus, Punk and Kane had some really good matches back in WWE's "ECW", probably Kane's best matches since Angle was around.

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  102. best comment to ever hit this board

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  103.  this!

    they wouldn't have put out "Cena sucks!" shirt if they were so desperately trying to cover up that about half the fanbase hates their topstar. they even acknowledge it just about every time ("the most controversial superstar...", "whether you love him or hate him", ....)

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  104.  I don't remember any of his feuds outside of he did it for The Rock. Yes, he won some titles, but he was basically there to dance and keep the crowd happy.

    The only thing I remember is the cage match between him and Val Venis, which was pretty awesome.

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  105. Episodic does not mean fiction, though. Just that something is broken into episodes. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/episodic

    I'm on Team 60 Minutes.

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  106. Val deserved a bonus for taking that splash.

    Anyway, I'll agree that he wasn't exactly pushed to the moon or anything, but at least they did something with him - the fans reacted, so the company gave him more TV-time. Seems like such a simple formula, but, somehow, Vince has forgotten it.

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