Hey Scott,
Here's a fun question for the blog: if you were a pro wrestler what would YOUR five moves of doom (and finisher)?
J
I really like the Codebreaker as a finisher, but I prefer something more simple and high-impact, so I'd say that the CM Punk / Mirko Cro Cop head kick would be my finisher. I'd set it up with an AIRPLANE SPIN so the guy will be pre-dizzied, and then when he's staggering around, WHAM.
I have two that I'd do.
ReplyDeleteThe first one, I'd put the person up like I was going to powerbomb them, but then as I throw'em down, I go down to one knee and turn it into a shoulder breaker.
Second, I'm not sure if anyone has done this before, but I'd jump up, grab their head, place it against my knee and drop down. That way I can do it to a Big Show type person.
This is off topic. I'm not sure if it's because I've been brainwashed by watching so much WCW in 2000, but Mark Madden is actually a pretty decent commentator. He's funny.
Or am I just losing my mind?
Also, reverting back to the subject of finishing moves, has anyone else seen the DVD The Top 50 Finishers? Comes out in July, I believe. That could be a really awesome countdown, and let's hope they don't go with WWE magazine's pick of The Attitude Adjustment. As we all know it's the Stone Cold Stunner/Diamond Cutter.
It won't be in there cause it's not a WWE move, but we all know the best finisher is the BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER (Burning Hammer)
ReplyDeleteIt's such a weird thing that they are trying to lessen fake moves like ortons punt because they cause fake concussions, but they still do the spot where a guy is knocked out cold so his opponet can climb the top rope. But they still REALLY run these guys around the country like circus animals and make them work hurt...wtf
ReplyDeleteI love Mr. Perfects snapmare, a great set up for the perfectplex and looked bad ass but it was basically just curt doing a summersault over the guy
ReplyDeleteMark madden was decent. He used to write solid articles for whatever website bob ryder was doing back then where he brought up good points about how hard it was for guys to get fair contracts etc. I thought he was ok as an announcer, not his fault the product sucked and compared to the shit annoucers we get today he's Gordon solie
ReplyDeleteI use that as my finisher in No Mercy.
ReplyDeleteDo you really think Solie is good? Or are you just saying that like we'd say "Well, he's no Ed 'Strangler' Lewis" in the respect of how many people think he's great?
ReplyDeleteBecause I've heard Gordon, and he's God-awful. He's so monotone. It's like they put a cardboard box in on a table, put Bart's hat on it, then put a microphone in front of it.
It's hard to argue against the Stunner just because it was so fast and looked so great (and SOOOOO many people took it) but if I had to I'd actually have to go with Sweet Chin Music over the Stunner, particularly when Shawn came back and started wearing those pants with sort of leather areas around the thighs so when he slapped his leg it sounded like he just kicked through someone's jaw bone.
ReplyDeleteFuck me I'm agreeing with dickjokeman. Gordon Solie really isn't as good as he's made out to be. Compared to Monsoon he's dull as a sack of shit.
ReplyDeleteI would set my opponent up by sending him into the ropes then when he was coming towards me I would kick him in the head. This would weaken the head and leave him dazed on the mat. Then I would hit the ropes for momentum then I would jump in the air as high as I can and bring my leg down on his already weakened head. I would call it the "giant kick and jumping head crusher" combo.
ReplyDeleteButterfly kneeling piledriver, until it knackered up my knees about two matches in...
ReplyDeleteIt also fucks up a guy's neck six ways from Sunday. Ask Edge & and Rhino.
ReplyDeleteEdit: the spear, I mean. F
Argh that is my biggest pet peeve in wrestling, the Stunner and the Diamond Cutter/Ace Crusher/RKO are NOT the same goddamned move! They come from the same origin but one is a jawbreaker variant and one is like a differently angled DDT. Ditto this for the TKO and F5. You go down that road and all of a sudden everything is the same as everything.
ReplyDeleteI did too, for my "murderdeathkill" guy who was 7'11 and had about 50 different head kicks. I loved watching guys just crumble from those.
ReplyDeleteI think I just used a stunner when I made myself in the game to beat up on my friends.
I have a few fantasy moves I'd drum up myself but I gotta say, there haven't been enough "pummel a guy into submission" finishes. Tommaso Ciampa kinda stole my idea of repeated knee strikes, Kassius Ohno is doing mutliple elbows, and Danielson had the MMA elbows.
ReplyDeleteFor a simple finisher though I'd consider doing a jumping DDT. Just run at the guy, jump straight up, and drop him straight back. Simple & effective.
I really wish Punk would use that kick as a finisher instead of the go to sleep. that move just looks so ... rough and disjointed. contrived, I guess?
ReplyDeleteWhy not just hit your finisher 5 or so times? Just because it didn't work for The Macho Man is no reason to abandon the concept.
ReplyDeleteBatista was one of the last guys to use a powerbomb. Swagger uses a Doctor Bomb every now and again. I miss the powerbomb. No one does it.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to think of myself as bonerjokeman, because I never joke about a flaccid penis. That would just be...weird.
ReplyDeleteYeah, one goes to the shoulder, one goes to the floor.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't saying they were the same move, I was saying they should be tied, since they're both so great, and similar. You know, like if someone said that Coke/Pepsi should be the #1 soft-drink. They aren't saying they're the same, just that they're similar and thus should share it.
Now the Whippersnapper, that's the same as the Stunner.
Where have you wrestled, Jeff? Or are you saying that "if it were to happen"...?
ReplyDeleteTAFKA Prince Iaukea does a really sweet 2nd-rope jumping DDT. That's the only cool thing about the guy who wrestles in a leisure suit.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I absolutely hate about guys who do the "up to the shoulders first" for their finisher, The GTS, AA, and F5, is that when they do it now, they freaking walk to the middle of the ring to get right in frame for the hard camera. It's so fucking stupid, and takes you completely out of the match.
ReplyDeleteI mean, you're trying so desperately to win the match, and oh snaps! You caught your opponent in a slip up, he's on the shoulders....oh....wait....gotta walk over here now. Yeah, hold on. Just gotta get over here, and turn around to face the camera. OK. VICTORY!
whenever people say coke and.pepsi are the same drink, i ask them this:
ReplyDeletehave u ever had a rum and pepsi?
its fucking gross.
Well see that's the problem: every other one was a trademark Reviving Elbow and hitting that odd number of them just caused Warrior to wake up. One more & he'd have had him!
ReplyDeletebatistas demon bomb always looked weird cuz he never went directly into the pin with it. he always would roll backwards after landing and then pin
ReplyDeletethats how i knew he couldnt work or watched wrestling cuz if he ever saw kong or ddp do powerbombs his demonbomb would much more crisp and visually appealing if he fell into the pin.
if he was wrestling crusiers it would rule. but i knew that finish was fucked in 08 when he put jbl in it.
ReplyDeletesince he stole it from KENTA... might as well do the variants of the move as well.
if i were a submission wrestlers my finish would be a the lion tamer.
ReplyDeleteother than that in the efed days, my finish was the shootin star press leg drop... YEARS before jason cross was doing it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXtbTMjaTxM
I love the Brock Lock.
ReplyDeleteWell he did five, so you figure that 1 and 3 put him out, 2 and 4 revive him so in theory number five would put him out again but there is no way that the Warrior, what with the gods on his side and all, goes down to just one elbow.
ReplyDeleteBarry Windham's implant DDT ? That shit was awesome.
ReplyDeleteI had a very, very limited and brief wrestling career about 5 years back (he says career as it sounds better than '2 or 3 matches')
ReplyDeleteAnyway I had two finishers
One was needlessly complicated as I went from having them in a full nelson to lifting them up and spinning them out into an urinage
The other was actually pretty bad ass as it was an inverted figure four. As the guy doing the hold I was as normal but the other guy was on their stomach rather than their back.
Oh, man, I used to love that move. It just looked brutal.
ReplyDeleteeven when he does it to guys like Jericho, I just think it has no flow to it, and I think a knee to the face would look better than going through the effort of lifting the guy to drop him and then lightly brush him with a knee. kicking a guy in the back of the head looks better to me than gts.
ReplyDeleteAm I picturing this wrong, or could the other guy kick your balls?
ReplyDeleteI, personally, think that's way too contrived. It's one of those moves I can't imainge anyone pulling off w/out the help of the guy in the hold.
ReplyDeleteTheir foot is more up near your chest / stomach so you can yank back on it to make the move look more painful.
ReplyDeletewhile it is awesome its probably the most business exposing move ever.
ReplyDeletescott damore did it in his promotion. kinda killed it for me.
YES! Why did he drop that so quickly. It was awesome.
ReplyDeleteWell, Solie would suck TODAY--because he was an analyst and story-teller, and most matches nowadays have nothing to analyze and practically no story to tell. He was also trying to sound real, not like some shrieking company shill. His in-ring equivalent would be Dory Funk Jr.
ReplyDeleteJoey Styles is probably the epitome of what a modern announcer should be, given the direction the product has taken, but politics weren't in his favor.
Well, I'd argue that The Rock's People's Elbow is the most business exposing move since it won him several big matches somehow but I agree, the Canadian Destroyer is more of an aesthetic appreciation and not realistic one.
ReplyDeleteIt's only contrived because of how it got sold, the opponent would always flip over with him and fly backward. It made the move look cool but it isn't super realistic. But if you grabbed someone in piledriver position and did a front flip, you'd make a full rotation, they'd just land on top of you. Off the top rope is really the only way it would make perfect physics sense.
ReplyDeleteThis will probably sound silly, but I think someone should bring back the Abdominal Stretch as a finisher. Not the loose, restholdy version most wrestlers use, but a really deep one--maybe by locking the hands, the way the Iron Sheik used to do it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a safe move. It damages a bodypart (in storyline terms). You can have it spectacularly reversed (via big hiptoss). And it can be applied off of an irish whip.
You can also go different places with it: turn it into a ground-based finisher; grab the ropes for extra leverage; beat on the guy's ribs while he's in the hold; even fall back into a pinning combination. Great move, really.
I would go with the one legged Boston crab as a submission and the skull crushing finale (Miz style, not Jericho's crap version).
ReplyDeleteI kind of liked it when it was just the Rock doing it...but the fact that it led to development of the worm, boom drop, five knuckle shuffle, etc. makes me hate it. And all those moves too.
ReplyDeleteIt went Reviver, regular, Reviver, regular, Reviver. After the first elbow Warrior stayed down because he was waiting for the Gods of Destrucity to make him levitate.
ReplyDeleteHe always won with that in combination with the Rock Bottom.
ReplyDeleteAnd I actually can't remember a time when he won strictly with the people's elbow against a big star. It was always after a rock bottom.m
3 letters: D. D. T. When Jake Roberts did it, that shit was over. Too bad they turned it into a transition move.
ReplyDeleteFair point. you know if there were no gods Savage wins the match, which means he never reunites with Elizabeth, which means he never loses his mind from losing Elizabeth again. So then he doen't really care when Elizabeth gets with Flair, which means he never gets all juiced up in 98 to get other women, (Miss Madness, Georgous George) to make Elizabeth jealous...which means if he never took that juice in wcw, his heart might have never given out and he might still be alive today.....Damm F***ing Ultimate Warrior gods.
ReplyDeletePowerbomb from the top rope to the floor would be my finish...what do you mean nobody would work with me?
ReplyDeleteFind a good video of KENTA doing it, he looks like he's killing someone
ReplyDeleteYou sir, are correct.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a perfect character touchstone for the rock, I just don't think it should have gotten pins.
ReplyDeleteThis was the guy who invented the Burning Hammer, he might have been.
ReplyDeleteIt looking sweet when Kobashi did it doesn't really matter, though- Punk's version just doesn't look very good. It really lacks fluidity, it's very stop start ... just not a great finisher for a top level guy. That kick to the head is one of his best looking moves, he can hit it on the big show or cruisers...
Even Kobashi's version lacks the fluidity I like in finishers, though- there's just something about the move combination that makes it hard to pull of really smoothly, like what austin got to with the stunner or the rock bottom. My issue with Punk's GTS is twofold- his version doesn't look very good, and the move itself is kind of inherently herky-jerky.
Do the Owen driver 97
ReplyDeleteHe hurt himself doing the punt?
ReplyDeleteKenta Kobashi created the Burning Hammer, but not the GTS. KENTA is a different, junior-weight wrestler, although a disciple of Kobashi's.
ReplyDeleteoh, seriously? that's not confusing at all. I always wondered why the dude's name was randomly in full caps. I clearly never paid attention to japanese wrestling.
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to bring back the regular ol' piledriver.
ReplyDeleteI'd do a top rope burning hammer.
ReplyDeleteThe problem was that the move was so over, Rock had no choice but to make it his finish. Otherwise, if he used it mid-match, the heat for the rest of the bout would be killed.
ReplyDeleteI'm 6'4" (probably be billed as 6' 6"), so if I ever got into wrestler shape, I could probably do most moves to most people. SO I GOT OPTIONS.
ReplyDeleteI really like the shining wizard, especially as you could do it to anyone. The jackhammer rules and no one is doing it and for a submission THE CAMEL CLUTCH (complete with me yelling HUMBEL!!!! as I apply it)
Work the opponents legs or weaken him until he drops to a knee and then lariat him right in the face, like a shining clothesline. I'm not sure I've ever seen that variation before but I imagine it could be pretty badass.
ReplyDeleteCollar and elbow suplex. Gory neckbreaker. Tiger suplex into a bridge. Texas Cloverleaf for a submission, and a brainbuster for a finisher.
ReplyDeleteur psychology is over the place.
ReplyDelete**1/2 finisher
stump pullin piledriver is badass
ReplyDelete/sarcasm
ReplyDeleteI always loved the Flatliner. Real easy to apply, no size restrictions, can be used almost any time.
ReplyDeleteAnd a move I've never seen before but me and my friends came up with when we were 11: a legsweep DDT. Just hook your inside leg around theirs and pull as you lean into the DDT.
For a regular finisher, I'd do a Reverse Death Valley Driver, where my opponent would be on my shoulders in the Torture Rack position into a DVD.
ReplyDeleteFor submission, a Full Nelson Camel Clutch. Put him in a Full Nelson and then sit on his back and pull. I always thought that it would be a great variant to the Masterlock.
I think the AA looks great on huge guys like the Big Show, but for the most part it looks like a glorified body slam. Tommy Dreamer's version of the move was a lot better.
ReplyDelete