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Not Quite Three-Hour RAW Open Thread

Not quite three hours and I'm not quite re-energized to watch the WWE right now.

So come out swinging and keep it clean.

Comments

  1. Next week, the return of Vince McMahon to evaluate the performance of John Laurinitis!

    No, WWE isn't in panic mode, why do you ask?

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  2. As long as they don't think the solution is putting the WWE title on Kane.

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  3. Actually, I'm all for that, if it leads to AJ having passionate make out sessions with Kane's mask.

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  4. Didn't I read somewhere that Cole was supposedly toning down the "heel announcer" gimmick? Because we're 6 minutes in, and he's already on my nerves.

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  5. Why is this segment happening?

    HAHAHAHA MY LITTLE PONIES!!! Cena is clever!

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  6. Oooh! Ooooh! More McMahon TV time next week! I'm definitely tuning in now. Can we get Stephanie and Shane as well? What about Aurora (if the inherited nose can fit on a screen)?

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  7. Wasnt John Cena off TV last week because he was storyline hurt? Legit question.

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  8. Maybe we'll get a Pokemon or Teletubbies reference next. Yeah, they really know how to capture the <13 year old demographic.

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  9. John Cena v. Michael Cole...main event in any arena in the country.

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  10. If Cena really wants to be timely, he'll bust out a Sailor Moon reference.

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  11. ...he got better.

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  12. Cena v. Cole? They think that's going to turn ratings around? 

    Fuck this... oh wait I'll stick around for Punk/Kane. 

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  13. If they ended that segment with Cole Shatnering to the heavens "JOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYY!", I may have been ready to forgive the crap we'll soon be hit with on the Longest Running Episodic blah blah blah.

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  14. He wasn't announcing.

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  15.  Hell, why not Oswald the Lucky Rabbit or Black Pete, while he's at it.

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  16. Fuck this shit. Ratings in the toilet and the stock is an all time low. WWE's response? Push the rat faced announcer. Keep throwing money and attention on that hag's bullshit senate run. It's working wonders.

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  17. I only turned it for like 5 seconds. Shouldnt he have been selling something? Or did I miss it?

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  18. Time to SQUASH Ziggler back to reality a I guess.

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  19.  For about a couple weeks.  Vinny Mac LOVES the Coleslaw heel gimmick.  It's here to stay until Coleslaw decides he's had enough of the company.

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  20. Glad I've taken to the new tactic of "Let's see what the Blog of Doomers have to say about the first twenty minutes of Raw before I decide if it's worth watching". Unfortunately I will not be letting this play out to see where it goes, the DVR has already been stopped...

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  21. They are building for the future.  They had the discipline to save Vince McMahon for next week to pop a rating.

    If that doesn't work, they could also open their wallets to bring Shane in to give a main event anywhere in the country promo!

    The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades! 8-)

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  22. I'm not used to seeing Ziggler fight someone that's not Kofi. 

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  23. God sounds like I'm glad not be watching.

    If you look at WWE Wrestlemania-to-Wrestlemania as a "season", this one has been the biggest quality drop-off since Roseanne decided to win the lottery and do movie parodies. The 27-28 "season" was one of their best ever, now they're completely in the toilet. And it's been, like, 2 months!

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  24. Let's not get too cutting edge. Peter Rabbit will suffice.

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  25. So I'm in Greenville, SC tonight for work and I had no idea that RAW was here too till I drove past the Bi-Lo Center on my way to the hotel and saw a bunch of kids with Cena t-shirts waiting outside...and I STILL didn't even give a second thought to getting a ticket and going to the show.

    I think that about sums up the apathy for the current product, no?

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  26.  WWE Creative
    ‏@WWE_Creative




    When @HeymanHustle encouraged Superstars to take the brass ring & become a main eventer, doubt he was talking about Michael Cole #RAWTonight

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  27. And, for the record, the 22-year-old me would be ashamed. The first thing I would docback then when going anywhere was checking if there were any concerts or wrestling shows in the area while I would be in town...

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  28. Wasn't Vinnie Mac removed last year (or whenever) because he wasn't operating in the best interest of the company and replaced with COHHH? 

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  29. Good God, Vickie's rack is fantastic tonight.

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  30. SQUASHAMUS!  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  31. That was a good pop for Sheamus. I guess I'm still not on the bandwagon, though. Besides having pasty skin, nothing else stands out. 

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  32. May/June used to be such a kick-ass time to be a fan as they set up the big summer feuds.

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  33. That just means he's genetically inferior.

    Just kidding.

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  34. I thought anything will stand out if you have skin that pasty.

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  35. What's with the lights? Is this a Glacier match?

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  36. Would be just like the WWE to try and appeal to all the Mortal Kombat fans right now.

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  37. OK. No botches. Everyone happy? Yeah, I doubt it.

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  38. That was some slo-mo lucha by Sin Cara.

    To bad they don't give a shit about Hunico as he is a better worker and shows charisma.

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  39. just bring back the Genius already

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  40. So we've had the Glacier match, now Goldberg is coming out to squash some nerds. 

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  41. Shhh - don't remember WWE continuity.  The writing staff headed by Vince certainly doesn't.

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  42. Let me guess: Ryback's "wellness" has yet to be tested yet?

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  43. I'm waiting for Master P and an update from Lee Marshall at this point.

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  44. LOL

    This Ryback stuff sucks. It's not 1987, or even 1997. You can't just send a scary-looking guy out there, have him do some squashes and expect him to get over. They need to give him something to do.

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  45. Honestly, I would enjoy Raw ALOT more if it was just jobber squash matches with Roid heads and REALY big Fat guys.  Just hook them up with Jimmy Hart and the megaphone, and we're good to go.  It would be far more interesting than anything else on.

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  46. At least Roseanne ended well, in a  "Let it play out and see where it goes..." sort of way. 

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  47. How silly of me. I'll pretend I didn't watch that episode of Raw.

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  48. Or the guy with the tattoos that used to be a VJ. What was his name? 

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  49. I think you have to go back to 1996 for an episode of Raw I'm as disinterested in as this. 

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  50. Charisma must = most boring wrestler on the roster. Sure, he has talent, but the crowd goes to take a piss when they hear his music.

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  51. Yeah!  They tried that with some fat Samoan guy a couple years back, and he didn't get over at all!  When will they learn??

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  52. How about a Nitro.....er I mean a WWE Sports Entertainment party sponsored by Twitter

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  53. Eff this. I'm gonna go get some ice cream.

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  54. That might get the rating up to a 2.8

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  55. Y'all are just spoiled.  This is playing out a lot like a late 80's episode of WWF Superstars.  Or maybe Challenge.

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  56. Wow--no smart marks in the crowd tonight!  Not one "yes" chant.  Prepare for your BURIAL, Bryan.

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  57. At least they had coherent feuds back then

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  58. Damn I just started watching this show on dvr. Mike Cole wtf...is this really how they follow up a 2.7 rating? Also cenas promo was awful. I guess having vince back will pop a rating next week but im not too stoked on mcmahon family warz part 124

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  59. The current structure makes it so they condition the fans to only care about 10% of the roster. It shows

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  60. If anyone likes basketball the 2nd half of okc vs sas should be pretty intense

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  61.  I don't buy that Vince will pop a rating.  Plus, he looked pretty terrible a few months ago during that video online of Cena's surprise bday,  Age is FINALLY catching up to him.

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  62. Lol at least wrestling challenge had bobby heenan and gorilla. How come lawler sucks so bad, he's was fantastic in the mid 90's

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  63. Like Ultimate Warrior vs Papa Shango!

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  64. Did that Samoan guy have a daughter?

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  65. Anyone else getting visions of that Simpsons episode where they scrubbed out all violence from the Itchy and Scratchy show, and all of the children came to the realization that they didn't need to keep watching this shit?

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  66. And if you don't like basketball, this is a good opportunity to give it another chance to win you over.

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  67. Take that over Cole vs Cena or Twitter mentions.

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  68. Wwe booking is such trash. If they hadn't had sheamus win the title when he first debuted and then job him out like crazy he would probably have some real momentum after his wm title win. I like the guy but kayfabe to me he still needs something to get his heat (back?)

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  69. AJ's crazy smile = so cute.

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  70. Kane does not need to be in this feud. They should have done this match with Punk going over clean as a sheet to set up another Punk/Bryan singles match. This match was good, but I don't think Kane adds any more to the feud as if he'd been left out of it. 

    But WWE booking says Kane getting the win here means he doesn't win at the ppv. 

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  71.  My only complaint about tonight's show is that it's too similar to last Friday's Smackdown.

    I missed the opening Cena-Cole thing, but everything else has been decent. A good match from Ziggler & Sheamus, Cara-Hunico & the Ryback squash were fun, and Punk-Kane was fine. I'm not looking forward to the main event, but maybe we'll get a decent tag match or something from Cody Rhodes or Christian beforehand.

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  72. That actually got ratings, unlike the past month.

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  73. Am I wrong for being turned on by AJ in that last segment?

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  74. Crazy AJ? All the buys!

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  75. I never understood what the end game was with the wwe moving away from wrestling. They dropped the name and everyone (even jobbers) are superstars. If vince, dunn, and Steph are so ashamed of wrestling what would they switch to ultimately? Just skits and promos where you vote on Twitter for the winner? Would people actually watch that. And can you believe these cocksuckers have the nerve to call the shit they do outside of wrestling entertainment? Is there a tv show with worse actors and stories?

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  76. Ok, that Big Slow promo was pretty sweet.  Well done.

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  77. Those red knee socks were annoying as hell, but otherwise, I agree.

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  78. As long as Kane doesn't take the title on June 17, I'm OK with his involvement in the feud. Punk pins Kane at OTL, Bryan complains that he didn't actually lose at OTL, demands another title shot, feud continues.

    Seriously, I never want this Punk-AJ-Bryan to ever end, and if they need to throw in Kane or Big Show or del Rio occasionally, so be it.

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  79. Dude I swear I'm not trolling or trying to be an anti-smark contrarian ass but I do think (assuming they go over him) kane has a little bit of rub to give those guys (again assuming they go over)

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  80. At least the officiating is better that the Miami/Boston series..

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  81. There is no wrong reason to be turned on by AJ.

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  82. If Bryan gets to beat up on Kane, with no shenanigans, then I'm fine with it.  I liked that in the Sheamus/Bryan match, Bryan was able to inflict pain by being physical with someone way bigger than him, instead of just having to do sneaky heel things.  I expect Punk to retain, but if Bryan beats the hell out of Kane only to get caught off guard by Punk, that'd be pretty cool.

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  83. I'm looking for a word, maybe you can help me out. What describes when someone is provoked into a physical altercation with someone who is bigger than they are, mocked by that bigger person, and mocked by others for not wanting to be in that altercation in the first place. There's a word for this, right? I can't think of it... I know it's not being a star. What is it again? 

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  84. Yeah! Because Ryback = Samoa Joe! And it's not like Joe already had a name for himself before TNA! You're so smart!

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  85. "You're a bully!"

    "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

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  86. I don't think you're trolling, and I think Kane does have some rub to give. But they just put him over Punk here, so at best this is going to be the 50/50 situation where Punk loses one, Punk wins one. 

    Punk beating Kane one-on-one here, I have no problem with. And I'm not saying Kane takes away from this feud, but more that he isn't adding anything to it. If that makes sense.

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  87. Pretty low standards there. Though the look on Lebron's face after "fouling" out was hilarious.

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  88. They ran Christian/Orton for like 5 straight pay-per-views last summer without adding anyone. Punk/Bryan/AJ doesn't *need* Kane's help. 

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  89. Dude, you have it backwards.  Kane wasn't shoehorned into the CM Punk/Daniel Bryan feud.  Daniel Bryan was shoehorned into the long-term plans for a CM Punk/Kane feud.  Be thankful for what you've got.

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  90. UGH.  I was hoping they wished A-Train well on his future endeavors.

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  91. And the crowd goes silent...

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  92. Yes fans, you don't get one crappy John Cena main event. You get TWO!

    I was hoping this would mean JR was on commentary. Oh well...

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  93. It's pretty funny seeing A-Train come out to "crickets" after that HHH 1000 Raw moments segment. 

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  94. This is not what I call "over-delivering." It's about time to end the Tensai experiment.

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  95. Reading things like this is another justification of why I gave up until Rocky (now only maybe thanks to GI Joe 2) returns in the winter.

    WWE continuity errors are pretty much unacceptable in an era of television built on meta awareness of such issues with TV genres (see Community or 30 Rock).

    Minor errors are an acceptable part of a long form narrative, but blatant stupidity like who's running the company (Vince or HHH or the board or Johnny?) or Cena forgetting Big Show trying to electrocute him to death three years ago and calling him a friend when he was betrayed yet again.

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  96. Make a Princess Bride reference, get a Like.  It's just that easy!

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  97. I was referring to Umaga...

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  98. No, Umaga never had any children.

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  99. The only thing good about the Big Slow push is that he seemingly took A-Train's spot.

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  100. They should bring in comedian Robert Kelly and do a Tensai vs Tensai feud.

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  101. Who believes that Michael Cole will lose against Cena? Anyone?

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  102. The only time A-Train has ever gotten any heat were the "shave your back" chants.

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  103. I thought they were going to rehab Tensai. How does that help? 

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  104. Send Show out and get it over with.

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  105. MIchael Cole has the least intimidating yell in the history of pro wrestling.

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  106. Turned on Raw during a commercial in the NBA game.

    John Cena had Michael Cole in his underwear, in a headlock and was preparing to drown him in JR's BBQ sauce.

    That's being a bully, right? WTF?

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  107. Ladies and gentlemen, that's your main event...

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  108. It's a typical Saturday night for Pat Patterson.

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  109. John Cena is not Being A Star.

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  110. Is this real? Thank Christ for OKC/San Antonio. 

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  111. I hope people tuned out in droves during that alleged main event. And I hope someone sends it to the Be A Star people and makes them seriously question their relationship with the WWE. 

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  112. And the crowd seemed really into it!  Push Cole!

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  113. Prepare to die for looking at her, she's mine! ... I mean, yeah, that's cool, if you like that sort of thing. Seriously, though, AJ is already in the pantheon of greatest divas as far as I'm concerned.

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  114. They don't boo him, they just say 'Boo-urns'

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  115. WWE co-founded the Be A Star Alliance.  I seriously doubt anything would come of it.

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  116. Yeah that ball game was excellent. I can't believe that 3 harden hit. Game 6 is something ill have to watch in a bar, should be that crazy

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  117. Definitely agree on Hunico - I really like his in-ring work, and thought he played the "Sin Cara" character much better than Mistico did/does.

    Too bad he's stuck portraying a G-rated stereotype at the moment.

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  118. In all seriousness though, someone needs to make a website, tumblr, or blog dedicated to every instance of WWE's hypocritical stance on bullying.

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  119. I actually LOVED the names, in an ironic "so bad it's good" kind of way.

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  120. I dunno, seems like Ryback's doing pretty well; he's getting a pretty good reaction upon his entrance, and keeps getting "oohs" and "ahhs" from the audience.

    Squashes can still work so long as the pace is kept up and the guy actually displays some unique stuff. Ryback is doing both.

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  121. I agree, Show is just NAILING this new character direction.

    Problem is, well, it's Show. Once he has to wrestle a normal match, it will fall apart. Too bad we couldn't have gotten THIS version of Show a decade ago.

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  122. Brilliant!

    He's great on "Louie", too.

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  123. Ehh, I'd rather A-Train - at least it's new.

    And maybe if they actually allowed him to speak, maybe EXPLAIN his character's motivations and goals, he'd actually somewhat over. But, no, that's just crazy talk.

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  124. Yeah, I was definitely expecting him to win.

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  125. How many more weeks will this attitude prevail?  Think it was about two months before the awesome Mark Henry character was able to overcome the fact that he was Mark Henry.

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  126. ha!!! i got that simpsons reference!!!

    man 130 comments for raw live thread. must have been terrible

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  127. Well are we really surprised?  After all, the big matches at WrestleMania had 3 guys that weren't going to return after the card.

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  128.  Ill do you one better, I didnt tune in at all!

    I did get excited when I heard JR and Regal will be doing commentary for NXT, I think?? Meaning the 2 best announcers in the company?? Its pretty cool, though the enthusiasm is tempered realizing NXT is the C- show and a developmental ground for the A & B shows w/ mediocre announcing.

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  129. Techically people like to see Cole get his ass kicked. (even though that wasn't much of an ass kicking)

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  130. Here's the thing: technically Cole IS the bully and he got his comeuppance. Remember him slapping Cena and berating him?

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  131.  ....and that's why pushing part-time guys on Wrestlemania is a failure. So the Rock/HHH/Taker popped a buy rate, who cares? What about the other 51 weeks of the year? I wish they'd give up on the p/t guys and focus on the current/future stars, but it won't happen. I'm sure Wrestlemania will feature matches with HHH/Taker/Rock and probably Flair.

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  132. Really, a whopping 10%, how optimistic. I think it's more like 5% if that. It's Cena/Sheamus/HHH/Kane/Brock/Rock/Taker and Punk on the outskirts. Add in Cole and Big Johnny and that's about all the crowd knows to pop for. If they built up their young guys better instead of this 50/50 shit they do, they'd have a kick ass midcard. Why not spend time building Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins instead of just throwing them in a tag title match? Not that I'm complaining about Reks finally being in a match on RAW. Instead I'll complain that he's not in WWE13 and I have to create him again.

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  133.  Because he's been neutered by the WWE. He just doesn't seem to give a damn anymore and is just there for the money. "Millions of Dollars, Millions of Dollars, Millions of Dollars". He was great when he was the wise ass heel in the mid 90s, even in the late 90s with all the puppy stuff he was at least fun, now he looks bored. Can't blame him, so are we!

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  134. Christian/Orton died a slow, painful death.  Them adding Kane means they care about the feud.

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