The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 06.18.12
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Live from Long Island, NY
Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
Mick Foley joins us to start, and he’s acting as this week’s GM for both shows. Tonight’s main event is Kane & Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk & Sheamus. Mick brings out Big Johnny for his farewell address and then disappears for the rest of the show, so for those who had “The very next night” in the pool of when he’d be back on the show after getting fired, you win. And before he got fired, he booked Cena v. himself, Big Show & David Otunga. That makes him the most far-sighted member of the creative team they have, then.
Kane & Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk & Sheamus
So not the main event, I guess. Bryan is crazy over tonight, as you’d expect from a super-smark crowd. Bryan low-bridges Sheamus out of the ring, but he slingshots back in with a shoulderblock and powerslams Bryan for two. Punk slingshots in for two, but he gets beat down in the heel corner. Kane with a corner clothesline for two as the announcers actually put over Punk by talking about how Punk is a very long reigning champion. Kane works him over and gets the flying clothesline as we take a break. Back with Kane trying a chokeslam, but Punk counters out with the high kick. Hot tag to Sheamus and he comes off the top with a shoulderblock on Kane, and a powerslam gets two. He pounds on Bryan with the forearms, but Kane dumps him after an awkward spot where Sheamus was clearly waiting for Kane to hit his mark. Bryan gets a low dropkick on the floor and now Sheamus is the face in peril. Bryan with a dropkick in the corner and he hits the chinlock, and kicks Sheamus down for two. Kane comes in with the flying clothesline for two. Bryan misses a blind charge and it’s hot tag Punk. Bulldog gets two and he goes up, but Bryan brings him down with a superplex. And then AJ skips down to the ring, dressed like Kane. This of course has Kane flummoxed, and Punk brings in Sheamus to finish with a GTS into a Brogue Kick at 14:00. Entertaining TV tag match with the usual fuck finish for this feud. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Ziggler and Swagger are back to arguing again, so Vickie wants to settle things tonight for good.
Meanwhile, Big Johnny is laughing it up with Otunga, but Big Show finds NOTHING funny.
Jack Swagger v. Dolph Ziggler
The announcers argue about who has been carrying the team. I’ll settle it: In kayfabe, they both suck. Ziggler grabs a headlock, but hurts his knee when Swagger reverses out, so Swagger goes after it. He works on that while the crowd doesn’t really care about either guy. Ziggler makes a comeback, but Swagger puts him in the anklelock until Dolph powers out and finishes with the Zig Zag at 4:07. Vickie rewards him with a kiss and they leave Swagger laying in the ring. Not exactly a dominating win for Ziggler, but I’ll take what I can get. **
RAW 1000 Moment: Mick Foley annoys Vince McMahon in the hospital, and then Austin beats the crap out of him. They focus on the bedpan shot and skip the sodomy via catheter.
Paul Heyman comes out to answer HHH’s challenge from last night. The answers are no, no, and no. In that order. COOHHH interrupts, and points out that he’s not a “Heyman crony from the 90s and we’re not in a bingo hall” and he’s not drinking Heyman’s Kool-Aid. But he can give Brock Lesnar the promotional push he wants at Summerslam. Heyman laughs it off and notes that HHH is becoming more like Vince every day. He tries to goad HHH into hitting him so he can sue (“…but I do have something for Stephanie!”),but it’s not until he insinuates that he’s smarter than HHH that the knockout punch comes. Mess with the man’s wife if you will, but you better not mess with the catchphrase! This was all really, REALLY inside and I don’t know if it connected like they wanted.
Alberto Del Rio v. Santino Marella
Wait, so Del Rio couldn’t get cleared for last night, but he’s fine for RAW? As usual, Santino is not defending the US title. Del Rio with a low dropkick for two, but Santino makes the comeback. ADR blocks the Cobra with an enzuigiri and the armbar finishes at 1:20. Well Santino lasted longer than last time. ½*
Layla introduces Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter, but Heath Slater quickly interrupts as this goes off the cliff in record time. And then it manages to go off ANOTHER cliff as Roddy Piper interrupts Heath’s new single and declares his love for Cyndi. Michael Cole spends the whole segment burying it, so WHY DID THEY PUT IT ON TV?! THREE HOUR RAWS ARE COMING, PEOPLE. There’s only gonna be more of this crap. Oh, and TAKE THAT, Cyndi Lauper, for daring to be successful and ungrateful towards the WWF.
Epico & Primo v. The Primetime Playaz
Epico gets dominated in the AW corner, but quickly makes the hot tag to Primo. He dropkicks Young and gets a rollup for two, but O’Neil cleans house. Primo hits the backstabber on Young for two, but Titus makes the save and the Playaz walk out at 2:50. This show is getting worse by the second. ½*
John Cena v. Big Show, David Otunga & Johnny Ace
As if this is gonna happen. Show decides to walk out because he’s onto bigger things. So that leaves Cena merely 2-on-1. Otunga poses as usual and gets his ass kicked, and Big Johnny wants no part of a tag. Cena brawls outside with Otunga and gets sent into the stairs. Back in, Otunga works him over, and now Johnny wants in, and you know how that goes for him. Three FUs and the STF hopefully retire the Big Johnny character for a long time at 6:00. DUD
The Pulse
Is Eve dead or what? And where the fuck is Jerry Lawler’s pizza already? And what happened to a different legends match on RAW every week leading up to the 1000th show?
See you on Thursday for Impact.
Well, they had a Legends segment, so there is that at least.
ReplyDeleteI'm just grateful that we only had Cena on tv for the final match and he got no mic time to laugh off the cage match. The first hour was decent, the second hour dragged like crazy. I was honestly more entertained by CM Punk on Jimmy Fallon than by anything after Roddy Piper.
Man. Just....man.
ReplyDeleteJust find it interesting that Bryan is getting an even worse burial than the uber-short WM match: he has lost both his valet and his big time angle with CM Punk to freaking KANE, who also helped bury Zack Ryder (who really should have been the one introducing Ricter and Lauper).
ReplyDeleteAlso, what is next for Cena? More Albert? More Big Show? Or do they fucking abort HHH/Brock and do Brock/Cena II and give fans the ending we should have gotten the first time around?
Or do they make Punk lose the belt to Kane and reignite Kane vs Cena for 3-4 months for more fail and AIDS? Or have Punk turn heel so Cena can beat him cleanly and send Punk back down the ladder so Cena can have the belt? Or do they remember Miz having unresolved issues with Cena and have Cena beat the shit out of him?
BTW I'm sure future generations of smarks are going to comment on the bullshit of having Cena steal CM Punk's storyline with regards to having CENA be the one who finally defeats Ace rather than Punk, of who had issues with Ace that predates his vague issues with Cena.
ReplyDeleteYOU'RE HIRED.
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing Del Rio wrestle, I get the feeling that the concussion was just a kayfabe excuse to call an audible and have Ziggler wrestle on the PPV instead.
ReplyDelete"And what happened to a different legends match on RAW every week leading up to the 1000th show?"
ReplyDeleteObviously that was a Big Johnny initiative, that is no longer valid now that he's no longer running the show.
I didn't think Raw was terrible, a couple good matches (although the Cena stuff was crap I thought), but it just didn't go anywhere or build to anything at all. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what any of the matches at the next PPV will be. Title matches, Cena's opponent, who will be in MitB, no clue. It's fine to not book every match this quickly, let it play out a little, but not even a hint?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I swear I heard a lot of cheers for Ziggler. Was I imagining it? Scott says they were totally dead for him but I remember thinking he was getting a lot of cheers when he came out.
It'd be stupid to even have him wrestle Santino if so, but could it be that they thought he was fine enough to wrestle a quick 1 minute match but not a 15 minute PPV match? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I can't watch Raw anymore. I'll watch bits and pieces, maybe a match I hear good things about. Like tonight, I watched the Foley promo and the opening match which was good, but the rest was just bad.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I've given TNA a shot in the past I've regretted it. Like in 2009 when they had the two awesome shows at the end of the year, and then they brought in Hogan, and Bischoff.
But they've been putting out an honest-to-god GOOD wrestling product since around Bound for Glory. Especially in the last few months I've really been liking their direction. And this past iMPACT Wrestling was one of the best wrestling television shows I've seen in a while. 3 good matches, 1 for the world title, One great promo from Hogan and Aries building to next week, and an interesting conclusion to the show. For the first time since SmackDown moved to Friday Night's I can say: I cannot wait until Thursday.
Yeah that was a rough one...
ReplyDeleteAJ's run in was amazing.
ReplyDeleteHeath Slater is gold.
Prime Time Players are awesome.
Everything else sucked a fat one.
No, that was a legit medical decision. They were forced to remove him. They take that stuff VERY seriously now, as you'd imagine.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I wouldn't call that obvious at all, especially since they tend to spell out every plot point and didn't say anything about it.
ReplyDeleteShhh, if we don't mention Eve Torres, maybe they'll forget she's on the roster too and we'll never have to see her again!
ReplyDelete" And where the fuck is Jerry Lawler’s pizza already?"
I checked the Pizza Tracker; still in the oven.
'Heath Slater is gold'
ReplyDeleteYeah...fool's gold
Anyone get the feeling they're rebuilding the tag division because DX is apparently reunited at RAW 1000, and they're going to need geeks to annihilate?
ReplyDeleteThat Piper/Slater/Lauper/Richter (whew) segment was one of the worst things I've seen in a long time. Hard to believe that they would set it up the way they did, knowing the crowd has almost no idea who most of the participants are, but then try to get it over by having Piper play nice and do yet another riff on the coconut thing, while Cole buries the whole thing on commentary. The whole thing was just so weird.
ReplyDeleteI also love that they can maintain continuity from 28 years ago with Cyndi finally getting her gold record though, but can't seem to remember what happened last week.
The Good news: The Fuj works 3rd shift now and cant watch RAW.
ReplyDeleteThe Bad News: He also cant partake in the live thread. :(
What bugs me almost as much as throwing that segment out there and expecting the audience to give a beaver's dam about is how the Colons and Primetime Players were out there, and they weren't doing anything even remotely boring, but the crowd starts mild boring chants anyway because they've been trained to receive tag team wrestling at the level of boredom. And because they rarely let any of these guys talk, and when they do, they promptly forget about them in subsequent weeks (where's the rest of AW's stable anyway? Wither Mason Ryan? Actually, nevermind).
ReplyDeleteStop that making sense talky noise.
ReplyDeletePlus Mason Ryan not on TV is good for everyone. He is gonna kill somebody.
VKM wants to hire Jesse Baker?
ReplyDeleteFigures.
Although I will admit, you fantasy booking has made some sort of sense lately.
ReplyDeleteI also have started sniffing lead based paints though, so whatevz.
you're mother said its bedtime. time to get off the computer kid.
ReplyDeleteCM Punk and Sheamus should not get along. They're both meant to be 'world champs', so shouldn't they want to prove who the most important man is?
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE NOT! Babyfaces are all friends and SMILE. Don't forget lots of SMILING!
While I'm a complete and unashamed Piper mark, I will agree with you on the whole Cole thing. They hype the segment up and then Cole buries it while it's happening live? I'm still trying to make sense of that. I'm not sure if Cole is playing up to his heel character or if someone like Vince is feeding him lines, but either way, it doesn't work.
ReplyDeleteI was honestly kind of touched by the Piper and Lauper interaction, but the way Cole and Slater were playing it off made for a clusterfrick of a segment. Why bring someone from the past (like Lauper, who damaged her career by staying connected with the WWF for six months too long) or a legend like Piper if all you're going to do is tear them down? It's the embodiment of being counterproductive.
I'm not sure if I've read you before, but how do I subscribe? Between your assessment of the tag team division and HHH, you have a keen eye to pointing out the self-inflicted wounds of the WWE.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine any combination of Austin, Rock, and Foley being buddy-buddy with each other, and all smiles? The Rock N' Sock Connection worked precisely because Rock was revolted by Foley, and whenever Austin and Rock were in the same ring they never let you forget that each of them regarded themselves as the best in the world, and uneasily saw the other as their only competition for that title.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think ADR took one bump in that match against Santino. They protected him and rightfully so. However, I still don't like them saying that 24 hours was the difference between being medically cleared and not.
ReplyDeleteGotta respect the lead. Go Fuj.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's what made things actually seem like they mattered.
ReplyDeleteThis was exactly what I was thinking as the main event was happening. Would it really be so wrong for Punk to get the final say after having feuded with Big Johnny for (roughly) 11 months. But I guess they still need to build up that babyface heat for the face of the promotion, Cena... the fans who chant "Cena sucks" every week will come around any minute now.
ReplyDeletePunk seems absolutely built for that, but it's amazing how quickly he's been assimilated by the WWE Main Event Babyface Machine. I mean, his entire feud with Cena last summer was basically along those exact lines, but I feel like they'd be all smiles if they interacted today. So much for the thought that Punk was going to be Batman to Cena's Superman; that they were going to let the kiddies have Cena, but the Attitude Era leftovers could have Punk. It's so frustrating, because with Sheamus as Earth-2 Cena now, you think they'd at least let Punk hate everyone.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I thought Piper did a decent job overall trying to keep an edge on the thing, but he could only portray that for so long before the angle necessitated it going over the top -- but yeah as you said, the stuff with Cole steals any of that away. "Hey maybe Piper should give some of his boobs to Cyndi".
ReplyDeleteI think they try to have Cole play some sort of bitter Jessie role, but Jessie could actually walk the line between saying nasty things about the people on the screen and still getting the product and angle over -- Cole just calls attention to the fact that we're watching bad television.
btw: this is also one of the things that really bothers me. with some angles, they make sure to even mention the most obvious things to make sure every last person "gets it" - and with others the complete don't care.
ReplyDeleteExcellent comparisons to Jesse and Cole. I'm not sure if I ever thought of it that way, but you're right: even the "heelish" color commentator knew enough to get the product over first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteThursday cannot come fast enough.
ReplyDeleteThen why did they put him in the ring 24 hours later? Honest question. I get that a 15 minute PPV match with Shamus is different that a 1 minute squash with Santino... but if they're taking it VERY seriously, a guy with a concussion is not getting anywhere near a wrestling match.
ReplyDeleteand here u got punk as superboy prime trying to retcon punch everything. in a good way at least and failing because dan didio (vince) is a jackass.
ReplyDeleteA couple things about the segment with Wendy Richter and Cyndi Lauper...
ReplyDeleteThey didn't seem to have any idea on where they were meant to stand, and it looked like Layla was trying to lead them in to the right spot. Surely they would of been told before hand? Very unprofessional.
That head shot from the record actually looked really dangerous. Seeing the glass shatter in the so many pieces made me think that could of resulted in glass in the eye. It didn't appear to be gimmicked because there was a little blood. In a bad comedy skit I'm surprised they couldn't be safer
Given how inside the Triple H-Heyman segment was, I was very surprised when, after Paul said he and Brock would own the place and not have a spot for him, H didn't shoot back with, "You won't have a spot for anyone, the only guarantee there is if you're running the show is that the WWE will go under," or something to that effect.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the Lauoer segment goes, when Slater came down and said this segment would be a train wreck, I just knew that the "I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments" would return, and Scott, as usual, doesn't disappoint!
Horrible show.
Am i the only one who thought the first hour was actually pretty good?
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen a Raw in years, but I read the reviews.
ReplyDeleteRight here is a perfect example of everything wrong with the WWE.
The champion, the guy who's been champion for the 3rd longest reign in 10 years, is wrestling the opening match. With Cena in the main event, putting a dead horse in the STF.
I just wanna try to convey as much as I humanly can how insane, INSANE, it is that we have had fans on two consecutive nights, on PPV and a RAW chant "We Want Ryder" over and over again, during different matches, different segments, and the WWE out of spite keeps it out. THAT IS INSANE. The fans are making it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS for the wwe, and they are ignoring it.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Lawler's pizza? Check the Magic Briefcase or the WCW hummer.
ReplyDeletethe obvious main difference is that Jesse was amazing at what he was doing.
ReplyDeletebetter yet, its inside the magic briefcase, being delivered by a... you guessed it...
ReplyDeleteWhite Hummer.
I cannot for the life of me understand why you would air a segment and then announce that it was the worst segment in the history of the show. Is that their big idea to draw ratings? Putting stuff they know is bad on TV? At least they kept the mic away from Wendi Richter (for the most part), she was horrible on the mic in the 80s and I'm sure she's no better now!
ReplyDeleteHow hard is it to have Heath Slater job to a legend. My vote is Rikishi.
Is the idea that faces be good guys who play by the rules and heels being sneaky cheaters no longer acceptable?
ReplyDeleteWhy does Sheamus (a face) attack people from behind?
Troll much?
ReplyDeleteBurial? I don't think you understand what that the word means.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they could have fit into that time frame instead of this awful segment? A match and a couple promos that may actually help get talent over. They don't have time to put Kofi or Ryder on Raw, but they have time for this shit?
ReplyDeleteAt least with Wendi Richter out there, we can all reminisce about the days when divas had last names.
Coming from the Troll King, I should be honored.
ReplyDeleteWorry not, my liege, I shant be usurping your throne.
Just because you say something, doesn't make it fucking so.
ReplyDeleteThe WWE wishes they could have as clear a set of motivations for their characters as "I want to help people and do the right thing," and "I want to stop crime and terrify criminals."
ReplyDeleteWell you know, if Michael Cole doesn't bury the segment, "Michael Cole burying the Cyndi Lauper segment" won't be nominated for a Slammy next year.
ReplyDeleteAww... lets be friends :(
ReplyDeleteI turn on Raw for 2 seconds last night to see Punk & Sheamus smilling and being pals in the ring. 1) Wtf has happened to CM Punk? 2) Why are the World Champions suddenly best friends? 3) How many times have they teamed up in the past 3 weeks?
ReplyDeleteShow sounds dreadful but I had zero interest in watching anyway.
Scott does bring up a good point -- WHERE IS EVE? They finally found something that worked for her (looking smoking hot in glasses & business wear) and now she's gone.
Lauper was probably supposed to hit him with the other side so that the class broke outwards but she either forgot or someone forgot to tell her. A fitting end to a terrible segment. Why does Vince think terrible singing is so funny, I was just cringing for Slater. And his gimmick now longer make sense if he's just calling himself the "One Man Band". With "One Man Southern Rock Band" it at least implies that he alone is wild and parties enough to match all of Lynyrd Skynyrd or The Allman Brothers, but "One Man Band" just makes him sound like one of those jackasses who straps tambourines to his feet and blows an open harmonica while pumping an accordion and beating a kick-drum at the same time. I have a feeling Slater might get FE'd once they're done thoroughly humiliating him in the lead up to show 1000.
ReplyDeleteSo no mention of the fact that meltzer was completely wrong about the foley/hunter thing?
ReplyDeleteI know the answer to WWE's problems.
ReplyDeleteA white hummer, cheatum the evil midget, mini movies and John Cena lost in Cleveland.
Probably helped that I was high on life but Heath Slater cracked me up during that segment. So bad it was funny.
ReplyDeleteShow was pretty good last night, have the same question as Scott, did Eve fail a wellness test?
Eve isn't dead. I have her tied up in my boiler room..............
ReplyDelete...that Rikishi is driving.
ReplyDeleteAll I can think of when I hear One Man Band is a young Homer Simpson playing "Tighten Up" on a street corner.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a riff on the Snuka coconut angle, it's a riff on when Piper hit Captain Lou with the gold record and kicked Cyndi Lauper, for the record...it was my favorite WWF angle of the 80's.
ReplyDeleteLawler already answered the mystery on Twitter. Josh Matthews ate it.
ReplyDeleteBecause they're faces! You clearly missed the memo - all faces are friends again. And Cydni Lauper was back. It's 1987 again.
ReplyDeleteSame reason Cena encourages us to "Be a *" but then humiliates people.
ReplyDeletePeople always say things like "Well, the smarks shouldn't be so involved with the direction of the product because they're not catering to your needs." People say that and then they consistently put shows like this on the air. Who but the smarks would even remotely grasp the inner workings of that Heyman/HHH promo? Who but the smarks would even know who Wendi Richter was or why Cyndi Lauper being with her is a big deal? How many kids would even know and care who Cyndi Lauper was?
ReplyDeleteThing is, I agree that they should book for the casual fan and not necessarily the smarks. The problem is that they want to ignore smark criticisms of the product while claiming "It's not for us" while continually booking stupid shit only we would know about anyway and having the casuals sit on the hands wondering what in the hell they're watching.
The magic briefcase was actually KIND OF explained. It was Bossman.
ReplyDeleteNo, I do as well. Excellent tag match to start. Ziggler/Swagger was some good angle advancement and decent for a 5 minute match, and Heyman always brings it. However, the show fell off a cliff after that.
ReplyDeleteI still maintain that his match at WM should have been a DQ win for Daniel Bryan.
ReplyDeleteGood call. Because Foley appearing as an authority figure for one segment disproves that HHH doesn't want him on tv, or thinks that Foley "'doesn't look tough' and can't be taken seriously as an in-ring performer." Case closed.
ReplyDeleteIt was funny that when Mick and Rock teamed up later on or had an angle together, they became smiling friends...
ReplyDelete...and it just wasn't the same!!!!
At least Lauper/Piper wasn't as bad as "This is your life, John Cena."
ReplyDeleteI, for one, am super-excited for DX's two-hundredth reunion in the past...I dunno...year and a half?
ReplyDeleteI'll have to watch the replay but I think the mistake wasn't when she hit Slater the first time. I think it was when she hit him the second time with an already shattered glass frame.
ReplyDeleteIs who AJ ends up with more important than the WWE championship?
ReplyDeleteMan, that list of what's more important than the biggest title in the company is getting LONG.
What's funny is that when that story broke, Foley was probably IN a meeting with HHH and Vince discussing what he was going to do this week.
ReplyDelete...for da Rock.
ReplyDeleteWas he supposed to be in every segment? He is hosting Smackdown as well. I thought most of us agreed we could do with less authority figure segments in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteProbablly because the match with Santino was less physical than whatever they were going to have him do at the PPV and they wanted to be careful.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be with AJ than be WWE champion.
ReplyDeleteRoddy Piper is such a crapshoot when he shows up on TV. It's 50-50 in terms of what you're going to get, where it could be interesting like the Piper's Pit with Daniel Bryan and AJ a couple months back...or last night.
ReplyDeleteTouche.
ReplyDeleteThat was exactly my question as well, which is why it's so mystifying that he HAD to be removed from the PPV but then be right back there on TV again. Why not just do their usual bait-and-switch where ADR refuses to wrestle and Sheamus squashes Ricardo instead? I have no answers.
ReplyDeleteDX should stay in 98 with the Nation.
ReplyDeleteYou just can't admit that meltzer has no idea what he's talking about, despite all the evidence.
ReplyDeleteHonestly! Both at Mania and then at No Way Out, the fans have turned on him for it, and yet for some reason it is supposed to make him a face? Sheamus is pretty damn good at what he does; just let him be an ass-kicker. Watching him sneak attack people half his size doesn't exactly make him likeable.
ReplyDeleteThey've had an evil midget for years so WWE is 1/4 of the way there.
ReplyDeleteI’ll settle it: In kayfabe, they both suck.
ReplyDeleteFALSE. Swagger clearly is the one who's sucked, both in kayfabe and in actual performance/"real life." For them even to question it is laughable.
Every so often someone comes along who you can tell truly is special. I'm not talking about right place/right time like Warrior, Sting (who I love), Goldberg, HHH... I mean Austin, Rock, Hogan, Flair, HBK. Ziggler is one of those people, hands down. End of discussion, you're welcome.
Saw comments in the live thread, but even though I know Heyman is married and has kids, his demeanor last night sure didn't dispel the long-standing rumors of which team he plays for (/obligatory Seinfeld quote here).
ReplyDeleteSomeone said that extremely intelligent men often are effeminate. Not always true, since I score a gazillion on the Daniel Bryan manliness meter!
Now Big Show just needs to cause Cena to have amnesia and Cena winds up in Cleveland.
ReplyDeleteThen for Money in the Bank we have Sheamus and Cena facing Big Show and Tensai. This will come about because Sheamus and Cena are playing volleyball with a bunch of orphans on a beach. Then hornswoggle shows up with an eye patch and blows up a boat and will escape with Show and Tensai. Then there will be a press conference with Show and Tensai.
Well said about HHH. He's a babyface so he punches Heyman, a complete non-athlete?
ReplyDeleteBe a Star, HHH!
Cyndi, Wendi, and Piper made no sense being brought in as a celebration of RAW. When Piper came out, one of the announcers asked, "How many RAW's has he been on?" (implying a ton), and the answer of course is barely any, a supporting player at best during the early years of the show.
ReplyDeleteHeath Slater, and Heath Slater alone was the only thing enjoyable about that show imho.
ReplyDeleteIf this means we get a segment featuring a coked-out Sheik and Duggan next week, then I'm all for it.
ReplyDeleteThat's not kayfabe. In kayfabe, they are guys who lose wrestling matches a lot of the time, which, in kayfabe, is how you tell if someone sucks.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Alberto,
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone wish Del Rio had a different submission finisher? In WWE 12, I have him both doing the dragon sleeper and the texas cloverleaf. I don't buy the ARMBAR.
My guess is when the concussion occurred, they didn't know how many days he'd be out, only that he'd have to miss the PPV. Then he was cleared, but Ziggler was already in place. Still, why not hold him out until next Monday for storyline purposes?
ReplyDeleteHe tried but that segment was a total dud.
ReplyDeleteVince McMahon's entrances get the notoriety. But Heyman's entrances are underrated. Heyman's facial expressions > VKM's arm swinging.
ReplyDeleteI think it was more due to them having to make a decision on Del Rio last Monday so they could promote a new world title match. It probably just so happened that he would've been good to go on Sunday, but they didn't know that last week. However, it was probably smarter to hold him off another week to not give the impression that he was fine to wrestle Santino one day after he couldn't participate in a match for the world title.
ReplyDeleteIt's because it makes a lot more sense than what they're putting on tv these days.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a concussion, you shouldn't be doing much of anything. Even the bright lights from the TV cameras can trigger after-effects, let alone anything physical.
ReplyDeleteThe crack up at Foley getting "it doesn't matter how you feel!" followed by Mick running around the ring chanting his name gets a bye. That was perfect.
ReplyDelete...for...da people.
ReplyDeleteDid Dave Meltzer rape your mother while shitting in your Cheerios?
ReplyDeleteBig deal if he is wrong. He's been dead-on, too. I think we are all bright enough to take his news with little value, but he's right quite often.
ReplyDeleteI've never liked Cheerios.
ReplyDeleteGood one Chip!
ReplyDeleteJournalists who are right 'quite often' are drummed out of the business. If you report something, it has to be correct.
ReplyDeletedamn. I didn't realize that literally EVERY woman wrestling back then (= before the attitude era and its direct predecessor ("Sunny, Sable, Marlena" timeframe) changed that) had a last name. even stupid gimmicks like Bertha Faye.
ReplyDeleteThey weren't performing in front of an audience of "casuals" last night, in fairness. Hence the huge pop when Piper thanked Lauper and credited her and himself with the rock and wrestling connection. Hell, if the audience was all kids, nobody would've popped for Piper. Instead, he got a bigger reaction than anyone on the active roster.
ReplyDeleteSheamus is a godawful babyface character.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, lately I'm beginning to think current babyface CM Punk isn't a whole heck of a lot better. His promos just get blander and less sensible by the week.
Far be it for me to be a defender lol, but the ending of that match was so bizarre with A.J. skipping around in a Kane costume directly leading to Daniel Bryan getting destroyed, I think they were laughing at "wow, this chick is crazy....and it helped us win, score!"....or at least that's how I took it.
ReplyDeleteI think you forgot "end of discussion, you're welcome."
ReplyDeleteI have to admit; I'm rather enjoying the bitterness in reaffirming why I'm okay with being a casual viewer now.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, Sheamus has been neutered and turned into an obnoxiously happy idiot, so I can see Punk associating with him in terms of the notion that Sheamus is too dumb to backstab him and cause trouble for Punk.
ReplyDeleteNo big mystery here. They couldn't have known how long ADR would be out of commission so they put another plan in place. ADR was cleared to wrestle but the new match was set already
ReplyDeleteThe story Dave told to me sounded like it had a nugget of truth but was being over-simplified. I don't find it hard to believe that HHH hates hearing that Foley made his career, but I do find it hard to believe that is the single, solitary reason why there may be tension between the two of them. How many people in life, particularly professional life, do we dislike? And of those people, how many are disliked for a single reason like Dave implied? In my experience work place tension builds up over time. I think there is probably much more to it, much of which we may never know.
ReplyDeleteWWE is simply unable to create a quality face character at this point in time.
ReplyDeleteThe crowds cheer for heels not because they want to be snarky and rebel against "the man" (OK not ALWAYS), but the heel characters actually have character depth, motivation and an interesting hook about them.
Getting turned face in WWE is virtually a death sentence right now if you aren't already a main eventer. Which is why I'm really really hoping Ziggler stays heel; if he becomes a face he'll be "smiling guy slapping hands with guys on the ramp that creative has nothing for" within 4-6 weeks.
I'll be honest. I'm (not so) secretly enjoying Heath Slater's work. He may be bland as unbuttered toast in the ring but he has an actual character, is enjoying himself in the ring and while he's not Ziggler, he's a pretty great seller.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he has a long career ahead of him as "that annoying jobber/buttmonkey" but hopefully he'll get a little something more.
Personally I think Bryan is much worse than Dave. Dave may not always be right but I do believe he is at least talking to people to get his information. Bryan seems to be making it up as he goes along and presenting opinion as fact.
ReplyDeleteLast night, after the kids went to bed, I spent some time with Cyndi Lauper.
ReplyDeleteShe's still got it.
My ultimate point was that there aren't smarks who watch or don't comprise any makeup of the audience rather that I meant to say that they always shoot down the smark influence on the product and dismiss it as being a demographic you shouldn't care about. It's just a cop out to explain away stupid bullshit by saying "its not for you." The crap they book isn't for anyone most of the time.
ReplyDeleteIf you're trying to prove that Meltzer was completely wrong, then yeah, he was supposed to be in every segment. Because that's the norm for WWE general managers. When is the last time that one appeared in just one segment? Are you really positing that WWE listened to our criticism, and it just happened to coincide with Mick's appearance? Hell, Johnny was in more segments last night, and he's not even kayfabe-employed by them.
ReplyDeleteYeah, because the standards for wrestling dirt sheets and mainstream journalism are exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteExactly what evidence is that? That Mick appeared in one segment? That's far below average for General Managers, and would seem to corroborate the push and pull Meltzer reported between HHH and Gerwitz. Or that he didn't get physical, much less wrestle? Again, consistent with Meltzer's reporting that HHH thinks Foley "'doesn't look tough' and can't be taken seriously as an in-ring performer," which he wasn't asked to do last night. Nothing that happened last night disproved the story.
ReplyDeleteGiven that, let's for a moment speculate about what we'd expect to happen if the story were true. Well, if I were HHH, after I read that story I'd call up Mick and have him appear for one segment. Then, bone having been thrown, apologist sycophants like yourself will fill in the blanks, and spread the counter-narrative for him. PR problem solved, all without having to actually contradict anything reported in the story.
True true.
ReplyDeleteBut if he doesn't wrestle when they ask him to it means he doesn't LOVE THE BUSINESS and they'll have to bury him.
ReplyDeleteDidn't they switch the Sheamus/Del Rio match last month to a four way? Maybe they get that nobody's dying to see Sheamus/Del Rio anymore this month than last month.
ReplyDeleteCheerios are like Meltzer actually, too bland. I've always been a Chex person myself, a lot more flavor.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kayfabenews.com/triple-h-celebrates-his-one-millionth-utterance-of-this-business/
ReplyDeleteHe's right if it's about people I dislike. He's wrong if it's about people I like.
ReplyDeleteMeh, who cares what team he plays for?
ReplyDeleteSlater is Horowitz 2K12. I get a massive kick out of the guy.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm saying who cares that Foley was in one segment? Who even cares about Mick Foley at this point?
ReplyDeletefuck the blog of doom. that place is tits.
ReplyDeleteTHE BUSINESS!
ReplyDeleteDougie is HHH clearly.
Apparently the crowd popped for pipers tig ol bitties.
ReplyDeletei said this in another thread.
ReplyDeletePunks reign looking back will be full of good to great matches but what defines it is AJs involvement and thats sad.
I think this is spot on. The WWE (and pro wrestling in general) has a very ambivalent feeling towards hardcore fans, as I assume all forms of entertainment due. They are willing to sell hundreds of thousands of units of DVDs about stars that were active before the new PG fan base was even born, obviously aimed at those hardcore fans. They run stories with insider comments and at some point just stopped pretending that HHH wasn't a Mcmahon, all showing the influence of a wider spread of information through the internet, etc.
ReplyDeleteYet, when hardcore fans (I think "hardcore fans" is a more accurate label than "smarks," since we all have roughly the same access to information nowadays, but certain portions of the fanbase are more likely to intensively seek out that info and comment on it) complain about things, they are shot down or the WWE will straight up do the opposite of what is desired out of some strange form of spite. Yet, they will also call the fans the real 'judges' of the product.
It is just such a messed up dynamic.
I'm a huge fan of his gimmick, and if given the chance i think he can succeed. I wish they would throw "southern" back into the one man band schtick. Him singing his single was by faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr the best/funniest moment of raw last night.
ReplyDeleteI have a joke!
ReplyDeleteQ: What did Rikishi say when he bought into Apple?
A: I...DID IT...FOR DA STOCK.
in fact I would have them goes as far as completely ripping off WCW's west texas rednecks angle in a better way. (even though i did love that angle as well! RIP Curt Hennig)
ReplyDeleteDo you have a source on that?
ReplyDeleteNevermind, it's probably Chad Bryant.
I'd actually buy the armbar if it were actually an armbar - he should be placing his arm below his opponent's elbow, thus hyper-extending it. What he's doing is more of a wristlock which is then (mistakenly) sold as damaging the elbow.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention that Cena also got to put Michael Cole in his place last week, instead of JR or Lawler.
ReplyDeleteLets weigh this up... would you be embarrassed to be seen in public with AJ.. NO. Would you be embarrassed to be seen in public with the WWE spinner title? YES.
ReplyDeleteAJ > WWE title.
And the month before that, they swapped ADR/Sheamus for Bryan/Sheamus. For three months, the one-on-one match has been canceled.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Groundskeeper Willie playing "Maniac" in the park and reliving his romantic past with Sherry Bobbins?
ReplyDeleteCole: "now that's a farewell address nobody will forget" - I beg to differ
ReplyDeleteThis whole "Be A Star" campaign runs contrary to pretty much every face vs. heel storyline in Wrestling. Since most of the Heel's are booked as either assholes, cheats or bullys. Hell, even the Face guys are bullys too... Cena beats the shit out of Laryngitis all the time... You think Ryback (Face?) isn't a Bully beating up what amounts to kids 1/3 of his size? I think that whole campaign is some ironic celebration of actually being a Bully in the first place. Fuck I hate RAW and the WWE at the moment. Never in the history of the WWE/F have they had an entire crowd CHANTING for a Wrestler, in his home town... and sat him on the bench for the entire show. Ryder is more over than Santino, Sheamus, Del Rio certainly not to mention half the other jobbers on the roster and is moving merch. It's a baffling business decision... let alone baffling for our (fans) entertainment.
ReplyDeleteSheamus is HHH 2.0 ...nothing would surprise me less if he was repackaged in a year or so in a DX-style stable. He's clearly the taste de jour of the McMahon Clan. His workout buddy is HHH, he moves much like HHH in the ring now and other than the cheese-fest horror he is on the Mic, he's basically an early 2000's squash machine, like HHH was. Enjoy him on your television, because he's not going anywhere...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbjiKIKzY3c&feature=fvwrel
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it should be Jericho's finisher.
ReplyDeletePat Patterson?
ReplyDeleteHe's a cancer survivor, so even though he's shaped like an old Russian woman it's better than being dead.
ReplyDeleteObviously it wasnt black gross boob death
ReplyDeleteHe needs to be developed into a real person...not the cartoon we're stuck with.
ReplyDelete