Cena is gonna look like a goof moreso than usual as he comes down the ring salutes/points does his obligatory point to the briefcase. then talk in the close up camera....
Dumb n Dumber is the greatest comedy of all time, and I love any reference to it. But, no matter what was going on, so long as there's a brief case it works. You gotta play off the whole image.
You don't watch South Park, so I don't think you've seen the episode in which I was referencing, plus, you hate SP, so you're biased. And yeah, I won. The only one I could see me losing to is the Pulp Fiction one.
Hell, he only has to carry it tonight, next week he cashes in and kills of Punk/DB's momentum. Now maybe we'll get that Bruno Sammartino record breaking title reign for Cena? Picture how pissed people would get if he holds the title for eight years!
I don't like South Park, but I've watched a lot of it. I know who Mr. Slave is. But that's a really specific reference, and it softened the impact of the joke because, even if you know who Mr. Slave is, you gotta stop and think "what's he got to do with this? Oh yeah, being a slut, from that one episode of South Park..." Good effort but you didn't stick the landing. Sorry.
....He's turned in to a Make a Wish Foundation? That doesn't make any sense. I get that you're going for a cheap and pointless joke about the developmentally disabled, but that's not what Make a Wish is, that's for kids with life threatening illnesses. So, yknow. Fail.
No, see...the episode in question is Paris Hilton & Mr. Slave have a slut-off, to see who's a bigger slut. Paris Hilton puts a pineapple up her ass, then Mr. Slave puts Paris Hilton up her ass. John Cena then put the Big Show's ladder up his ass in order to beat them.
I stuck that landing, WITH a broken leg, and got the Wheaties box.And then in the future I don't get botched plastic surgery while my gross wife whores our talentless, pathetic kids on TV.
Ranting at people making cheap jokes at the expense of the developmentally disabled was my thing on here wayyy before Drunk Murph. I've toned it down just because no one likes "that guy". But no seriously that sucked, and wasn't funny, and didn't make sense.
Well I didn't put much thought into it and it WAS MEANT to come off as retarded...that was the concept (including illogical grammar),... besides 2 people clearly liked it! If you don't like it that's cool but honestly don't take things so personally and literal. We live in a far to politically correct world, just let it be.
Actually wasn't kidding that time. Is that what they call them now? Developmentally disabled?!? Shit I'm outta touch. Wait a minute, so they changed the word - but it still means the same thing? How is that any better??
Fun fact: "Retarded" WAS the "nice word", as people had started to use the old scientific terms as insults. Those words? Idiot, imbecile, moron, etc.
Wonder of wonders, it turns out that people frequently use the title of A GROUP OF STUPID PEOPLE as an insult, and it happens with each "nice word" that they choose.
Honestly, and I'm honest here, it's because I'm not very loved around here.
I mean, "it's full of unsold Marine DVDs" got 2 likes. So what's that tell you? Anyone who thinks that's funny, I don't want finding my shit funny.
Could you imagine how many of these sissies would loose their minds if I won? Scott would be accused of picking his staff over the "real" funny stuff, like all the divorce comments.
Most of these guys would choose Big Bang Theory over Seinfeld anyday.
You know that, Sir Murphy. You know your pal Cal is funny. And awesome. And good looking. And you feel a little something for him that you don't for other males, but it makes you OK, because it's Caliber.
C'mon, Ryan, you try and be a bit of a crusader too often.
It's constant objections like yours that make it so we have to have "sensitivity" seminars at work, or people have to wonder what the "offensive" word is going to be today. It's why lawyers have made America one of the shittiest places to live.
Sad thing is, mentally retarded is the name of a condition. Retarded means slowed. Mentally slowed. It wasn't a dehumanizing word, it wasn't a word of hate...it actually described the condition. Developmentally Disabled is far too broad a term. Tom Cruise is developmentally disabled (dyslexic.) My buddy who got married because he learned he would get a tax break is retarded. It's not the same thing. But, it's so fashionable these days to be a victim and belong to a victim group. Kinda sad.
And, as noted, you're changing the word...but the meaning stays exactly the same. Kinda backhanded if you ask me.
"Non-Spoiler Warning"
ReplyDelete"I got the papers, Honey!"
ReplyDelete"Mr.Cena, you've been served!"
ReplyDelete"ALL the Smark Rants! I GOT 'EM!"
ReplyDelete"Destination Suck"
ReplyDelete"My ex-wife has taken all my money in the bank, and all I got left is this lousy briefcase."
ReplyDeleteHEYYYYY YOU GUYZZZZZZ! A-HA!
ReplyDelete"What? A WWE Title shot? Why are you sending me back to the midcard, Vince?"
ReplyDeleteThe briefcase fell down!
ReplyDelete...for some reason.
"John Cena-Right before he finds out that he only gets half of a title shot."
ReplyDelete"Whoo! 5-Dollar pizza!"
ReplyDeleteI'm going to Disney World! No, wait - the paper inside says I'm going to Divorce Court!
ReplyDelete"Finally Im back in the main event picture!"
ReplyDelete"SAMSONITE! I was way off."
ReplyDeleteGod, I hope this case is filled with Immodium!
ReplyDelete"It matches my wristbaaaaaaands!!"
ReplyDeleteWhen Mr. Vega and Mr. Winnfield walked in, John Cena regretted stealing from Marsellus Wallace
ReplyDelete"Oh crap! Miz was supposed to win!"
ReplyDelete"OH, WE HAPPY!"
ReplyDeleteWho cropped out Pat Patterson?
ReplyDelete"CM Punk is going to be in a main event now?!"
ReplyDelete"Hmmmmm....yep. That's a rocket up my ass."
ReplyDelete"ERMAHGERD! MERNER ERN DER BERNK!"
ReplyDeleteSeason 5 of Breaking Bad starts tonight! And I won another PPV main event, too.
ReplyDeleteOr "You can't see...Pat Patterson"
ReplyDeleteERMAHGERD! MERNEY IN THE BERNK IS MAH FRAVRITE PER PER VIEW!
ReplyDeleteMrs Cena's screensaver
ReplyDeleteDivorce Settlement
ReplyDeleteAfter all these years wandering in obscurity, the WWE is finally giving the plucky John Cena a shot at the big-time!
ReplyDeleteOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete"wow no mystery person raised the briefcase when I reached for it"
ReplyDeleteNow I can buy all the jorts in the world!
ReplyDelete"i guess I am super Cena"
ReplyDeleteBest one so far I think.
ReplyDelete"Yup. In the main. Again. Either stop whining or stop watching."
ReplyDeleteI STILL can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp!!!
ReplyDeleteI DO believe in miracles!
ReplyDeleteHi Mom! I'm OK!
ReplyDeleteHow am I going to cash this in on myself three months from now?
ReplyDeleteFinally! Something that says something about my merch money!
ReplyDeleteThen click like so my ego can get a +1 :-P
ReplyDeleteThe contest should have ended here
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tACjxpxhW2Q
ReplyDeleteI've got Brock Lesnar's contract!
ReplyDeleteHey, you CAN see me!
ReplyDeleteI'm super. Thanks for wrsslin'
ReplyDeleteWinner so for, I say.
ReplyDeleteMe have box carry poopy jokes in!!
ReplyDeleteTune in RAW 1000: friends have cake in Kuwait, and me have poopy joke box!
Ha, I took away your *headdesk* spot!
ReplyDelete"Surprised face John, put on your surprised face, annnnnnnddd.........boom"
ReplyDeleteTHE BREIFCASE IS HERE!
ReplyDelete"It's full of unsold 'The Marine' DVDs!"
ReplyDelete"...and so this ends our tale, as John Cena used the Big Show style ladder to prove that he was a bigger slut than Paris Hilton or Mr. Slave..."
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know how to put a spinner on this?
ReplyDelete''This is the greatest Divorce Court since Bobby Eaton!''
ReplyDeleteAre we no-selling to one with at least seven likes?
ReplyDeleteWrestling Observer Exclusive: The MITB briefcase actually contains instructions to beating the wellness policy
ReplyDelete"What sucks is...After the divorce my wife is going to get half the title shot too."
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU SMART MARKS!
ReplyDelete"I promise not to Billy Gunn this Money In The Bank briefcase"
ReplyDeleteYou know what?
ReplyDeleteCena is gonna look like a goof moreso than usual as he comes down the ring salutes/points does his obligatory point to the briefcase. then talk in the close up camera....
all the while carrying the briefcase.
Keep on keepin' on' Fuj, but, c'mon, I won.
ReplyDeleteHe's already got my respect for life, but if he turns it into a necklace, he should earn all others.
ReplyDeleteCharlie Owens was the only good one. The divorce ones were just pathetically lame.
ReplyDeleteC'mon, Dougie. What about Caliber? I thought we were close, man. Remember when you, me, and Skeeter went baging for nemotoads?
ReplyDeleteDumb n Dumber is the greatest comedy of all time, and I love any reference to it. But, no matter what was going on, so long as there's a brief case it works. You gotta play off the whole image.
ReplyDeleteI take this caption business very serious!
Holy fuck he looks like Brakkus.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I color coordinated my wristbands with this suitcase...and Pat is right, they really do bring out my eyes
ReplyDelete"CM PUNK'S GONNA MAIN EVENT A PAY-PER-VIEW!"
ReplyDeleteBrakkus as in Best of the Best 2?
ReplyDeleteSee kids, this is me sarcastically acting surprised.
ReplyDeleteNo. Sorry dude but no.
ReplyDelete"Bet your glad Sky Sports didn't charge you for this one fucko's"
ReplyDeleteFinally, an accessory to match my wrist bands. Thanks Mom!
ReplyDeleteMommy! 'My Lil' Porta Potty' worked! I made a doody!
ReplyDeleteTo the amazement of no one, they realized too late that John Cena doesn't sell gun shot wounds either.
ReplyDeleteThe WWE Championship is coming back to the main event!
ReplyDeleteSame Shit. Different Month.
ReplyDeleteYou don't watch South Park, so I don't think you've seen the episode in which I was referencing, plus, you hate SP, so you're biased. And yeah, I won. The only one I could see me losing to is the Pulp Fiction one.
ReplyDeleteLook kids, I've made so many wishes for the Make a Wish Foundation, now I've turned into one! YAY.. Potato!
ReplyDelete"TNA! TNA! TNA!"
ReplyDeleteVince's "idea" for Kane's member comes to fruition in this exclusve screen shot from See No Evil Part 2.
ReplyDeleteHell, he only has to carry it tonight, next week he cashes in and kills of Punk/DB's momentum. Now maybe we'll get that Bruno Sammartino record breaking title reign for Cena? Picture how pissed people would get if he holds the title for eight years!
ReplyDeleteI don't like South Park, but I've watched a lot of it. I know who Mr. Slave is. But that's a really specific reference, and it softened the impact of the joke because, even if you know who Mr. Slave is, you gotta stop and think "what's he got to do with this? Oh yeah, being a slut, from that one episode of South Park..." Good effort but you didn't stick the landing. Sorry.
ReplyDelete....He's turned in to a Make a Wish Foundation? That doesn't make any sense. I get that you're going for a cheap and pointless joke about the developmentally disabled, but that's not what Make a Wish is, that's for kids with life threatening illnesses. So, yknow. Fail.
ReplyDeleteYou fail, for taking it so seriously. Geez.
ReplyDeleteNo, see...the episode in question is Paris Hilton & Mr. Slave have a slut-off, to see who's a bigger slut. Paris Hilton puts a pineapple up her ass, then Mr. Slave puts Paris Hilton up her ass. John Cena then put the Big Show's ladder up his ass in order to beat them.
ReplyDeleteI stuck that landing, WITH a broken leg, and got the Wheaties box.And then in the future I don't get botched plastic surgery while my gross wife whores our talentless, pathetic kids on TV.
That's why it didn't get any likes, right?
ReplyDeleteRanting at people making cheap jokes at the expense of the developmentally disabled was my thing on here wayyy before Drunk Murph. I've toned it down just because no one likes "that guy". But no seriously that sucked, and wasn't funny, and didn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteMONEH IN TEH BANK!
ReplyDeleteI HAZ IT!
Developmentally disabled? Wha? Do you mean retarded people?
ReplyDeleteHaw haw haw. I'm gonna miss your stellar wit someday.
ReplyDeleteWell I didn't put much thought into it and it WAS MEANT to come off as retarded...that was the concept (including illogical grammar),... besides 2 people clearly liked it! If you don't like it that's cool but honestly don't take things so personally and literal. We live in a far to politically correct world, just let it be.
ReplyDeleteIf you think this is bad, wait until I win next year's Royal Rumble!!
ReplyDeleteERMAGHERD
ReplyDelete- MERNYINDERBERNK
Actually wasn't kidding that time. Is that what they call them now? Developmentally disabled?!? Shit I'm outta touch. Wait a minute, so they changed the word - but it still means the same thing? How is that any better??
ReplyDeleteAll I can hear is Randy Orton going "STUPID STUPID STUPID"...
ReplyDeleteI have the ending to Batman right here!!!!
ReplyDeleteFun fact: "Retarded" WAS the "nice word", as people had started to use the old scientific terms as insults. Those words? Idiot, imbecile, moron, etc.
ReplyDeleteWonder of wonders, it turns out that people frequently use the title of A GROUP OF STUPID PEOPLE as an insult, and it happens with each "nice word" that they choose.
Honestly, and I'm honest here, it's because I'm not very loved around here.
ReplyDeleteI mean, "it's full of unsold Marine DVDs" got 2 likes. So what's that tell you? Anyone who thinks that's funny, I don't want finding my shit funny.
Could you imagine how many of these sissies would loose their minds if I won? Scott would be accused of picking his staff over the "real" funny stuff, like all the divorce comments.
Most of these guys would choose Big Bang Theory over Seinfeld anyday.
You know that, Sir Murphy. You know your pal Cal is funny. And awesome. And good looking. And you feel a little something for him that you don't for other males, but it makes you OK, because it's Caliber.
C'mon, Ryan, you try and be a bit of a crusader too often.
ReplyDeleteIt's constant objections like yours that make it so we have to have "sensitivity" seminars at work, or people have to wonder what the "offensive" word is going to be today. It's why lawyers have made America one of the shittiest places to live.
You gotta chill out sometimes, man.
Sad thing is, mentally retarded is the name of a condition. Retarded means slowed. Mentally slowed. It wasn't a dehumanizing word, it wasn't a word of hate...it actually described the condition. Developmentally Disabled is far too broad a term. Tom Cruise is developmentally disabled (dyslexic.) My buddy who got married because he learned he would get a tax break is retarded. It's not the same thing. But, it's so fashionable these days to be a victim and belong to a victim group. Kinda sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as noted, you're changing the word...but the meaning stays exactly the same. Kinda backhanded if you ask me.