I figured I'd switch things up a little and give the RAW thread a spiffy little name.
I am sitting at an airport in Portland, Oregon where I spent the last three days working out in NIKE's awesome new training gear. So not only will I kick Mr. Princess' and Mr. Princess Jr.'s ass in our upcoming triathlon, I'll look even better than I normally do while I'm doing it!
Until then enjoy the show and check out Ryan Murphy's post on indy wrestlers. It's a good read.
Enjoy the show and come out swinging but always keep it clean.
I am sitting at an airport in Portland, Oregon where I spent the last three days working out in NIKE's awesome new training gear. So not only will I kick Mr. Princess' and Mr. Princess Jr.'s ass in our upcoming triathlon, I'll look even better than I normally do while I'm doing it!
Until then enjoy the show and check out Ryan Murphy's post on indy wrestlers. It's a good read.
Enjoy the show and come out swinging but always keep it clean.
Remember, no matter how bad Raw is tonight, at least we don't have to listen to Chris Berman.
ReplyDeleteWill Daniel Bryan confront Austin Aries?!
ReplyDeleteHe makes Michael Cole sound like Gordon Solie.
ReplyDeleteHe might be my least favorite person on TV.
ReplyDeleteBerman, if nothing else, at least stop acting shocked that the best home run hitters in baseball are hitting the ball really far in a contest designed for them to do exactly that.
Princess - Portland, Oregon is wesome.
ReplyDeleteWhat distance triathlon are you doing?
What do you think Vince is changing right....now?
ReplyDeleteAaaand bring on the disappointment!
ReplyDeleteThis video recap makes this whole AJ storyline look like a waste of time
ReplyDeleteHe's become such a caricature of himself. I can't even watch the Derby anymore because he annoys the shit out of me.
ReplyDeleteI guess Denver is a big enough city to actually get mentioned. Did everyone hear about that?
ReplyDeleteI only watched it because of McCutchen and of course they interview a junkie when he finally gets up.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing this tape isn't getting sent in to the Emmys. Yeesh.
ReplyDeleteYeah that rumor was great, I almost hope it's true just because it's so hilarious. How do you promote going to places you won't name? rflol
ReplyDeleteHe might be McCarver-levels of annoying. And enough with the fucking stupid nicknames.
ReplyDeleteJesus, we're not even 10 minutes in and this is like death already.
ReplyDeleteSilence. He could be Sterling.
ReplyDeleteSTERLING.
This opening segment is killing me.
ReplyDeleteWhen people mention that they sometimes feel embarassed to be wrestling fans, its because of segments like this.
ReplyDeleteBETTER CHECK WHAT'S TRENDING
ReplyDeleteSomebody better warn AJ to jump, there's a shark approaching.
ReplyDeleteSo it turns out this whole time they've been hiding a drug addict, right? But then the drug addict is also pregnant and maybe CM is the father, ok you with me so far?
ReplyDeleteYou're acting...it sends the remote directly in my hand.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch baseball, is he actually doing play-by-play? Cause I can stand him in small doses during the ESPN Sunday countdown, but I couldn't imagine that shit for three+ hours of a game.
ReplyDeleteSo based on the comments, I'd say this opening segment is involving either John Cena, Vince McMahon, or Michael Cole.
ReplyDeleteAJ's Undertaker-like pauses on the stick are killing this segment. The top angle in the company is rough place to learn your craft.
ReplyDeleteShe's gonna give him the Undertaker?
ReplyDeletelolwat
"No, AJ, I think you're thinking of Christopher Daniels."
ReplyDeleteShould read
ReplyDelete"Your acting...it sends...the remote...directly...in...my hand"
Oh and this is awful.
Couldn't really tell you. It was the first time I watched ESPN in years.
ReplyDeletePoor Punk getting saddled down with this crap. Jericho being stuck with Stephanie and her dog wasnt as bad as this is becoming.
ReplyDeleteFor someone who's all 'gotta love those craaaaazy chicks', Punk sure doesn't seem to have a lot of experience in dealing with them.
ReplyDeletePunk's faces are almost saving it though.
ReplyDeleteY'know, I think Punk is grateful for this particular run-in.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you that weren't watching, Prince Fielder just raped a baseball farther than anyone tonight.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. She's pausing to make herself look crazy, and instead she's boring everyone.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan is consistently saving these segments. He's been amazing.
ReplyDeleteI was just about to make a post about her needing to talk faster. Fucking christ, just talking slow doesn't make it more dramatic.
ReplyDeleteI'M WATCHING A SOAP OPERA GODDAMMIT
ReplyDeleteWell at the end of the month we're doing a biathlon as a final prep. That's just 35 miles on the bike and an 8.6 mile run.
ReplyDeleteThe triathlon in September is a 65-mile challenge. 1.3 mile swim, 53.9 bike and 10.8 on the ground.
It's an even matchup across the board. My son is a terrific athlete, terrific swimmer...don't think he has run 11 miles before so I think he's going to wear down early in the run.
My husband routinely does 120 mile bike challenges so 54 miles is a warmup. He can't swim well and he struggles in open water so he sort of cruises through the swimming and makes up the time on the bike.I'm the best runner and a pretty good swimmer. I tend to get bored and distracted on the bike. I'll spend time gazing at pretty scenery and losing my pace.
"Shut your Mouth ?" Man, a neutered CM Punk is really a sorry sight.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteI will never complain about any other announcer after hearing him sing The Grandyman Can on air.
Why watch sports when you can watch SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT?
ReplyDeleteAnyone else hope AJ drops to her knees now and asks Bryan to marry her too?
ReplyDeleteThis is veering into Chasing Amy territory pretty fast.
ReplyDeleteYou know why this angle is falling apart? Because CM Punk should bang AJ. Or want to. Any guy in that position (unless they're married and even then...) would bang AJ and deal with the consquences later.
ReplyDeleteI also have no idea how it makes people want to buy the PPV. You think to, say, the MegaPowers...no one bought WrestleMania V to see what corner Liz would be in. They're not even fighting over AJ really.
That being said...I think we can all agree that AJ could get it.
I was just thinking that the 1000 episode of Raw needed a wrestling wedding............... FOR ME TO POOP ON.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the worst segments, and the entire angle really, of all time. If it didn't involve 2 indy darlings like Punk and Bryan, everyone here would agree.
ReplyDeleteOr even better!
ReplyDeleteWow. This is really something remarkable to behold live.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan's goofiness actually works on some level with this. Punk is not suited for it, though.
ReplyDeleteThe anonymous RAW GM is back!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd pop for that.
ReplyDeleteOh great, the RAW GM.
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteWho would have thought a segment could be saved by the return of the laptop?
I'm marking out....
THE FUCKING COMPUTER'S BACK? oh just fuck this whole fucking thing.
ReplyDeleteThis would be being absolutely fucking brutalized, fully agree.
ReplyDeleteThank god they lifted that shroud, I was thinking it was Bob Backlund.
ReplyDeleteOmg yes, he's doing pbp for espn baseball.
ReplyDeleteUmm...I think a certain Twitter account is reading these comments.
ReplyDeleteWWE Creative Humor@WWECreative_ish
Be thankful this is TV-PG. If we had TV-14, this would have gone all "Chasing Amy" and ended in a threeway #RAWTonight
"This entire thing is confusing..."
ReplyDeleteThat was a shoot comment.
eww
ReplyDeleteI hope the FUCKING COMPUTER isn't this week's returning legend.
ReplyDeleteDid we have a Matt Hardy moment here?
ReplyDeleteDouchiest home run calls ever.
ReplyDeleteThis has been going on as long as an episode of Community.
ReplyDelete...
...
What a giant waste of time that was.
ReplyDeleteThis is really making me want to order the PPV. Too bad it's the replay of Destination-X and not MITB.
ReplyDeleteSo bad it didn't even trend.
ReplyDeleteI love shoot comments that are intended to be shoot comments.
ReplyDeleteThis whole angle needs to die on Sunday.
ReplyDeleteThat might be the worst opening to Raw of all time.
ReplyDelete...dafuq did I just watch?
ReplyDeleteI guess this how you tell a story?
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they share her and have a group like the movie Savages?
ReplyDeleteBad acting, a non-sensible plot, and worst of all, its a complete waste of time. Why should I care about any of this? This does nothing to make me want to order the PPV. Its fucking awful.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I'm watching this
ReplyDeleteIm pretty sure Brock will job to the computer on the 1000th Raw.
ReplyDeletegoddamn right big nasty.
ReplyDeleteOh she cleared that shark two weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteAJ: "I know what I need to do."
ReplyDelete*gets down on her knee*
Me thinking: "Be Sammi to her Mark Henry?"
Popped for the return of the Anonymous GM, though, and Punk dropping the mic in a "...zuh?" moment at the end.
I hate to say it, but I think AJ came dangerously close to Billy Gunning herself in that segment. And she's coming across as an idiot more than anything.
Because they haven't seen that movie yet to rip it off.
ReplyDeleteIs Heath Slater gonna fight the laptop?
ReplyDeleteIs this professional wrestling or the Young and the Restless? What a waste.
ReplyDeleteShe fucking sucks.
ReplyDeleteAJ is hardcore, she'll take 'em both!
ReplyDeleteSo, logically, it seems to be that Bryan needs to win at MitB when AJ aligns with him and screws over Punk. On the other hand, I really would like to see another Punk-Cena match at SummerSlam. And if Punk loses at Mitb I'm afraid they'll put him in a program with The Big Show, something I don't want to see.
ReplyDeleteEither way, I've enjoyed this feud, but it needs to end Sunday.
Wish it would turn around and eat the bitch. This angle needs to go away already.
ReplyDeleteCurtis! Does something a little Grandish!
ReplyDeleteOh fuck you, may all of your family and children die in a fire John Sterling. Blech. Fucking vomit.
In all fairness she's just a dumb wrestler not a actress. Who ever wrote this should get a scott keith red hot poker up the ass
ReplyDeleteThey've done it in the past. Do you know where they were the night of the "Bret Screwed Bret" speech? Probably not, because they never said it on TV.
ReplyDeleteBut I know. Because I was there. In Cornwall, Ontario. And now I won't shut up about it 15 years later.
CM Punk: "To make this work, we all need to sleep with each other."
ReplyDeleteBryan: "YES!"
Cmon, that'd be funny.
Swagger/Angle is going to be awesome in a few months.
ReplyDeletePoor Swagger, doesnt even get an entrance. He should go to TNA as the guy needs a fresh start ASAP.
ReplyDeleteThis is completely unrelated to Monday Night Raw, but it's not big enough to be a threadjack perse, but GOD DAMN did Owen Hart have awesome theme music. I've been jamming to it all day.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this aired on prime time television in 2012.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. It wasn't made this obvious to Morrison.
ReplyDeleteYeah I switched over too lol
ReplyDeleteHEY! No Community hating here! Says me.
ReplyDeleteSwagger gets a 60 second squash match because we really needed 20 minutes of AJ's quality acting that even Hulk Hogan would make fun of.
ReplyDeletePut Tensai back with Tomko, have them managed by AJ, destroy Bryan and Punk and let them run roughshod over everyone on the way to the Tag Titles.
ReplyDeleteJeebus, I go upstairs to make a couple of veggie dogs when the AJ/Punk/Bryan segment ended, come back downstairs 4 minutes later, and there's been a commercial break *AND* a match?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the plug, Princess!
ReplyDeleteI'm not hating! I love that show!
ReplyDeleteI'm saying that segment, JUST THAT SEGMENT, went as long as the 21-minute average episode on DVD!
Nah bro, never ever never hate on Community.
He'd still lose...probably by submission.
ReplyDeleteThis was fucking pathetic and I hope everyone now realizes how bad aj sucks.
ReplyDeleteFriday Night Zackdown = Take All The Dollars
ReplyDeleteI thought Punk was going to reply to AJ's proposal with an "Ooooh, yeah!"...but then I realized that he was supposed to be paying tribute to Savage, not Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteFortunately I have seen NONE of it! But from the sounds of it, it's been dominating the show. Which is a nice change of pace because what has John Cena been doing since No Way Out? I read recaps and I can't remember him doing much since No Way Out. So that's cool at least!
ReplyDeleteWait. Are they really going to finally pay of the anonymous GM angle?
ReplyDeleteHow about Threes Company?
ReplyDeleteCano's dad is back. Is Robbie booked to win the derby again this year, or does his dad turn heel on him? Oh wait, wrong thread...
ReplyDeleteIf it means that we finally get a legit payoff to his/her identity, then I'm down with it.
ReplyDeleteBig Show versus Kane wouldve been more entertaining.
ReplyDeleteYou know, this Total Recall commercial got me thinking, compared to fans of other kinds of media, we're actually pretty lucky.
ReplyDeleteI mean, Vince could just reboot Attitude with a different cast. Stone Cold John Cena and The People's Champion Alberto Del Rio anyone?
Holy shit Linda McMahon looks exactly like Mrs. Roper.
ReplyDeleteIs this setting up an AJ on a pole match?
ReplyDeleteYes its time to blow this thing off and move on.
ReplyDeleteI live just outside Philly, and they just showed a commercial about Smackdown being taped here in September. Normally, I'd be all over that. How sad is it that I don't even care right now.
ReplyDeleteThe Great White squashed Jack Swagger.
ReplyDeleteI say yes. But it will be a total throwaway gag. I'm thinking Santino finds Finkel or someone like that behind a laptop.
ReplyDeleteI guess it was the wwe telling stories, just like the avengers or dark knight.
ReplyDeleteShe's not even close to being talented enough at acting to pull that off.
ReplyDelete#fuckembothaj is trending worldwide!
ReplyDeleteShe could wear one of McMahons suits. They go back to the early 80's
ReplyDeleteConversely, I've been nudging my wife about taking a flight with my brother to Phoenix for no reason other than to go watch BFG, lol.
ReplyDeleteso is #runatrainonaj.
ReplyDeleteAnother useless segment. No one takes Tensai as a serious threat.
ReplyDeleteOh tonight? Who fucking knows. Who fucking cares.
ReplyDeleteOh good, ANOTHER MESSAGE
They just ran an ad for Raw coming to Bridgeport and Randy Orton was featured FWIW.
ReplyDeleteThey should have Santino hear some clicking noise behind a curtain, pull it back, and reveal the GM as the great and powerful Oz!
ReplyDeleteGood thing that guy had that towel
ReplyDeleteSmackdown is way better than raw plus you get to see sandow live!
ReplyDeleteCole/Lawler HOLY SHIT! They should've saved that for last week's "Great American Bash."
ReplyDeleteWell, that wasn't at all contrived...
ReplyDeleteArgh is there a reason they couldn't just give those 4 guys like 10 minutes at least?
ReplyDeleteI don't want to pile on the hatred for Raw but it seems like the shows been lacking even quality matches recently, aside from that Punk-Bryan match from several weeks back.
Cole v. Lawler ugh fuck this.
Lawler=Cole AGAIN? Fuck this...really, FUCK THIS!
ReplyDeleteNow we know what they're saving Flair for! He'll show up at the mental institution where AJ will be sent.
ReplyDeleteYes people, Vince actually pays these writers actual money to come up with this.
ReplyDeleteThere has been roughly 3 minutes of wrestling so far.
ReplyDeleteIf Lawler doesn't hit a minimum of 5 piledrivers on Cole (one on a chair) and hit him with at least one fireball then it will be a waste. They blew their shot at this feud.
ReplyDeleteDude those inside the indys articles are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteAnon should really hack WWE.com right now and spam the no option.
ReplyDeleteI really hope guys like Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, JackSwagger and Zack Ryder all go to TNA. Kidd, Tatsu, and Ryder could all be great additions to the X Division and have kick ass matches. Swagger could easily fit into the mid card or main event. A feud with Angle? These guys who aren't doing much in WWE(seems like they are pushing Kidd for a month) but could help TNA. Even a guy like Dolph could pull a Christian in that he has a nice little spot on the card but is stagnant. Dolph Ziggler vs. Austin Aries? Dolph Ziggler vs. James Storm? Yes!
ReplyDeleteI thought that Lawler's quip about "Don't call me Jerry. We're not friends" seemed out of left field. Now we know it was just a setup.
ReplyDeleteAlso, "Do you want to see this match? If so, vote yes or no." Want to see it? Vote no! Makes sense.
I liked how King and Cole were anticipating an email that hadn't yet been sent...
ReplyDeleteSo I turn on the tv to see Albert getting ANOTHER monster push to the sound of crickets and f'n Coleslaw v. Lawler...AGAIN. Why do I even bother anymore.
ReplyDeleteRemember it's not wrestling its story telling so what we saw was actually more high brow and legitimate than wrestling.
ReplyDeleteYup, kids are bored as fuck, we're going outside to hit up the sprinkler.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with whatever horrific thing they have up their sleeves fellas. Tell Mr. Backlund I said sup.
Fuck this show.
TNA needs another TV show to pull that off. I really wish they'd get Xplosion on US television and do something with that.
ReplyDeleteI won't miss him at all but I feel kind of bad for him. Can't imagine why he never got over based on how he was booked.
ReplyDelete....Damn. That is crazy.
ReplyDeleteI was Drunk Murphing this once, but Dan Harmon would be an AWESOMEly insane wrestling booker.
The following should go to TNA
ReplyDeleteThe following should leave the WWE for TNA
Tyson Kidd
Jack Swagger
Evan Bourne
Yoshi Tatsu
Usos
Epico & Primo
If you watch 1 hour of Raw, it actually feels like watching 5 and half hours.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of musclebound kids in developmental, no need to re-sign that junkie.
ReplyDeleteNaomi is the only thing that's kept me from turning.
ReplyDeleteI now live in a world where tna is better than wwe. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteLawn sprinkler > Monday Night RAW
ReplyDeleteDrew McIntyre just summed up all of Raw perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI would fucking LOVE for them to do that for just one show. Like a complete goof where everyone is playing someone from the Attitude Era, and then forget about it the next week. It'd probably mean a whole night of gratuitous JR bashing from Cole but it'd still be fun.
ReplyDeleteWelp.. we're on pace for 6 minutes of wrestling tonight.
ReplyDeleteDude if you just turned on raw for that be glad you missed the opening segment. Even worse.
ReplyDeleteClay's entrance was twice as long as his match
ReplyDeleteI seriously want to know what Swagger has done to deserve this treatment. He's big, not a bad worker, has some charisma, is a legit athlete...he has the tools.
ReplyDeleteIs it his backstage heat? Or does he just not give a shit enough?
He went to Japan for years to learn how to steal spots from Kevin Steen.
ReplyDeleteLawler vs. Cole at WM made Bret vs. Vince at the previous Mania look like Flair-Steamboat.
ReplyDeleteI will pop if Jericho and Show come out to the old JeriShow theme.
ReplyDeleteIf vince really wants to make money off wwe films he should make soft core lez divas movies.
ReplyDeleteStarts with an L...
ReplyDelete...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now I'm turning.
ReplyDeleteIt will get more pops.
ReplyDeleteHoward would be hilarious. And probably the highlight of the show for us.
ReplyDeleteYIKES. Just read about it.
ReplyDeleteWith the way Raw is going tonight, it's only fitting that Stephanie will be the anonymous GM.
ReplyDeleteThe opening segment was so bad that the AJ defenders are nowhere to be seen on the board
ReplyDeleteI'm out after RAW 1000. The show has passed me by.
ReplyDeleteLisp? What's his lisp got to do with it?
ReplyDeleteDissing Community is NOT streets ahead.
ReplyDeleteTroy N' Abed in the mooorning!
Here is the wrestling so far tonight
ReplyDeleteSwagger vs Sheamus (0:58)
Tensai & Ziggler vs Kidd & Christian (1:35)
Brodus Clay vs Drew McIntyre (0:35)
Grand total of 3:08
Hey now, let's just see ... oh, nevermind, I got nothin'.
ReplyDeleteI have more fun on this blog during this Monday night post than I do actually watching RAW.
ReplyDeleteSo Stephanie has had 2 RAW 1000 memories...
ReplyDeleteBut evil gorwling Steph always did and always will rule
Well I lived to see tna overtake wwe.
ReplyDeleteThis show will probablly cause Charlie Sheen to relapse.
ReplyDeleteOh great, Cena is out for MORE talking...
And then Jericho calls his Harold! YES!
ReplyDeleteYou know, instead of a "Social Media Ambasador," how about some fucking wrestling.
ReplyDeleteI figured out whats been bothering me about this whole Charlie Sheen thing. There's no such thing as a "social media ambassador". That's not a thing. Just say we got Sheen to tweet for us for an hour.
ReplyDeleteOf all the shows they could've contered Destination X with, this ... was the worst possible option.
ReplyDeleteCena and Kane are teaming up. Rise above Continuity!
ReplyDeleteLooks like Punk and Bryan are getting the main event tonight. It just sucks that it took this AJ soap opera bullshit to get them there.
ReplyDeleteScott posted similar theories way back in like 2003 in his review that Girls Gone Wild ppv that I believe the WWE co-promoted and had the Coach, Test, Torrie, Stacy, Nidia, and maybe a couple others on it. Just think how many DVDs of that show they could have sold if Torrie and Stacy had gotten naked (or at least topless) and made out with each other live on stage.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. But I've been a fan ever since he won the ECW title and had that great series of matches with Christian.
ReplyDeleteDidn't think anything could be a bigger disaster than Raw tonight. However, I just got a good look at the omelet I tried to make.
ReplyDelete"L...ooks good on paper but will never amount to anything and gets a pass because everyone thinks he's got all this potential he will someday live up to even though he's had opportunities and has been working steady for several years and is probably as good as he's ever going to get unless he makes some major major changes."
ReplyDeleteIs there a storyline reason why Kane wears that Rocketeer helmet over his mask?
ReplyDeleteEven Kane was smart enough to get his ass out of the AJ storyline.
ReplyDeleteKane tried to murder Cena 4 months ago - now they can be wacky tag team partners!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised they aren't going for the titles tonight.
This show sucks, but that jacket is still glorious.
ReplyDeleteHahaha...ah, good stuff.
ReplyDeleteDon't speak too soon, the night isn't over yet.
ReplyDeleteWell put him with SOMEONE. Hell pair him with Vader for all I care. She can be the 2K12 version of Woman (sans Benoit
ReplyDelete