The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 07.09.12
I’m watching this live, without the benefit of DVR, this week, so if I’m a little crazy by the end bear with me. Plus I’m doing the Destination X rant right afterwards so at least I’ve got that to look forward to.
Live from Denver, CO.
Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
AJ joins us and brings out CM Punk, confronting him for calling her a crazy chick on “Friday”. Smackdown was on Tuesday, AJ. She talks about how much Punk turns her on, and drops to her knees…for a marriage proposal. Punk’s uncomfortable looks here show he probably has experience with this sort of thing, although sadly Daniel Bryan interrupts before he can answer. He still has feelings for her, and thinks that Punk that is only playing her because she’s the referee. Bryan has a proposal of his own and they get into a boring argument before THE ANONYMOUS RAW GM interrupts. Oh god. So this gives us Punk & AJ v. Bryan & Eve. Also, Jericho & Show v. Kane & Cena, because they’ve never done that before.
Sheamus v. Jack Swagger
Nice to see them switching it up from having Sheamus beat Dolph every week. Swagger tries the pump splash and gets caught with the White Noise, and the brogue kick finishes at 1:00. Hey, remember when Swagger was World champion? Anyone? DUD Goddamn I wish that RAW wasn’t constrained by this ridiculously short two-hour running time so matches like this could get time to breathe! I bet this would have run two, or maybe even THREE minutes if they’d hurry up and go to three hours! ADR cuts in for a promo after the match, so Sheamus gives Swagger another brogue kick, just because he probably forgot to shake hands with someone backstage and we as fans DESERVE to see him punished on national TV for it.
Meanwhile, Santino pledges to reveal the identity of the anonymous GM. Hilarity will no doubt ensue.
Dolph Ziggler & Tensai v. Tyson Kidd & Christian
Nobody gets entrances here, because there’s just too much good stuff to cram into two hours! We need a third hour right now! Why the fuck won’t Obama deal with this national crisis instead of boring stuff like health care? The heels work on Kidd in the corner, but Christian comes in and hits Tensai with a missile dropkick. Tensai comes back with the corner splasn and senton for the pin at 1:23. Kidd gets destroyed like a job guy by Tensai afterwards, just so we don’t forget he is one. ½*
Meanwhile, Cole and Lawler argue who the new GM is going to be and get into a fight over it, so the GM buzzes in and makes Cole v. Lawler tonight. Cole is upset over this, because tonight he’s a heel, for some reason. I think they should make “for some reason” the new GM, because that’s who ends up booking all their matches anyway. Although in reality it’s going to be “The WWE Universe” because then they do all the stupid “interactive” shit they want to do and make people think that picking guest timekeepers or different variations on hardcore matches is making a difference.
Brodus Clay v. Drew McIntyre
And we’re 10 steps back for Clay again. Drew attacks and gets nowhere, as he goes up and lands on a headbutt, and Clay finishes with the splash at 0:33. Gotta build him back up so they can beat him in a meaningless squash again! DUD
Meanwhile, Santino finds Jericho and accuses him of being the computer, and that leads to TENSION between Jericho and Big Show. Holy shit, two guys fighting at the PPV might not get along in their tag team match? This is UNHEARD OF!
RAW 1000 Moment: Hunter and Steph renew their (fake) wedding vows in a godawful storyline where Steph faked a pregnancy.
John Cena & Kane v. Big Show & Chris Jericho
Holy shit, they finally remembered that there’s a PPV this Sunday! Cena is out first to do the hard sell for the PPV, as he promises to win Money In The Bank and CHANGE THE LANDSCAPE of WWE. Yeah, John, win that 14th World title and SHAKE THINGS UP! Also, John promises that the unstoppable Big Show will be STOPPED by his hand. Why do they keep forgetting that Cena ALREADY DID THAT last month? Cena beats on Jericho to start, and is it me or is that ring shaking tonight more than it should be? Show comes in and tries a chokeslam, but Cena tags out to Kane. Kane and Show slug it out in the corner and Show puts him down with a clothesline, and Jericho gets in a cheapshot. Is Kane supposed to be a babyface now or what’s the deal with that, exactly? Show continues pounding on Kane, but Jericho comes in and gets caught in the babyface corner. Cena with a clothesline in the corner for two, but Jericho distracts the ref and Show gets the shot from the outside to make Cena YOUR superman-in-peril as we take a break. Back with Show working him over in the corner, but Cena tries a slam that backfires. Cena immediately fights back again instead of twitching on the ground like Hogan used to do, but Show catches him with a bearhug. Cena fights back with a backdrop suplex and makes the hot tag to Kane, and a DDT gets two. Show spears him and now Kane gets beat up and Jericho chokes him out on the ropes. And we take ANOTHER break. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock, but it’s hot tag Cena. FIVE MOVES OF DOOM for Jericho, but Show pulls Cena out at two for the DQ?! What kind of a stupid fucking finish is that supposed to be? Show destroys both Kane and Jericho with ladders because he’s UNSTOPPABLE, even though he just lost the match. But that was, like, a whole 30 seconds ago, so we’ve likely forgotten already. Cena of course single-handedly saves both Kane and Jericho and cleans up all the ladders for the ring crew.
Meanwhile, Eve gives Punk some advice about making sure AJ stays happy so she doesn’t screw Punk out of the belt. She notes that although Punk already gets overshadowed by John Cena, Big Show, HHH, Brock Lesnar and everyone else above him, being overshadowed by AJ must be particularly hurtful. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments.
Sin Cara v. Heath Slater
Winner gets the last slot in the Smackdown MITB match. Slater pounds away and gets two, then goes to the chinlock. Sin Cara comes back with a flying armdrag and a crossbody, and La Mistica finishes at 1:30. ½* Slater bitches about the loss afterwards and demands any former champion so he can beat them up. This brings out Bob Backlund, who’s looking pretty good for someone his age. Crowd doesn’t really care, of course. Bob gives him the crossface chickenwing, and Cole cuts in to announce that the WWE.com poll has made the match against Lawler official now.
Speaking of the internet, apparently Hunico & Camacho will get a tag title shot on Youtube before the PPV. This would lead a rational person to wonder what happened to the Prime Time Playaz being the #1 contenders, but this show has killed my rationality so I won’t bother.
Michael Cole v. Jerry Lawler
Josh and Booker take over on commentary, which I guess is to explain why they’re still there for the Smackdown tapings. Booker immediately throws Cole into the ring, and Cole wants a handshake, but Lawler gives him an airplane spin and pins him at 0:48. But where’s the BBQ sauce bath? But then the RAW GM buzzes in and declares the decision is reversed for some reason. Santino interrupts this stupidity and declares that the GM must be UNDER THE RING. You’d think that Big Show would have seen him when he was under the ring getting ladders earlier. Santino goes to investigate, revealing that in fact Hornswoggle is the GM. Because the stupidest fucking thing they can think of is always the payoff. Why would he care who wins or loses these matches? I hate this show so, so much. And there’s still AJ to come!
Eve & Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk & AJ
Bryan throws kicks in the corner on Punk to start, but AJ tags herself in. Eve tries pounding on her, but AJ gets a spear that defies the laws of physics, only to have Eve throw something that looked like it was intended to be a kick and get her own. AJ fights back with a spinkick, as she makes Brock Lesnar look like a light worker, and Bryan decides to walk out, allowing AJ to roll up Eve at 3:16. DUD. And then it’s MORE SOAP OPERA BULLSHIT, as Punk cares about her too much to use her to keep his title. SINCE WHEN? Who is this person who looks like CM Punk but has clearly traded in his pipebomb for a vagina? AJ slaps him and Punk does nothing because he’s a giant pussy now, but AJ also slaps Bryan. SMELL THE BUYRATE.
The Pulse
Did Vince Russo get hired again and no one told me? Just wondering.
THREE HOURS of this shitty show coming in two weeks! Three fucking hours, people. They can’t even remember that Smackdown aired on Tuesday LAST WEEK or that John Cena already beat Big Show at LAST MONTH’S PPV, and they’re gonna have to book a THREE HOUR SHOW. EVERY FUCKING WEEK. With Twitter polls! You know, for the kids. And Rock actually WANTS to come back to this disaster?
I hate this show so, so much.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful statement in its simplicity
No mention of Punk/Bryab paying homage to Sonnen/Silva? That was the only thing about tonight's show to make me smile.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see how different you feel at the end of Destination X.
ReplyDeleteWith the valleys come the peaks, or something.
That and the ZackDown graphic. I mean, I appreciated the attention to detail there, at least.
ReplyDeleteI give Scott a grand total of five weeks before he gives up on Raw and goes TNA-exclusive.
ReplyDeleteAs they appear to be oh-so-subtly foreshadowing Punk/Cena for Summerslam, I can think of two ways they will try to get there.
ReplyDeleteSimple: Punk over Bryan, Cena wins MitB, challenges Punk in a straight up match at Summerslam.
Convoluted (so probably the favorite to actually happen): Bryan is all but unconscious, but AJ does something screwy to allow Bryan to win the title. Cena, having won MitB, runs down to cash in. Just as he's about to get the pin, Cena gets kicked in the head by Punk, because he doesn't like getting overshadowed, giving Cena the DQ win, but also making him the first person to ever cash in MitB and not win the title. Punk and Cena fight in the main event at Summerslam, while Bryan defends the WWE title in its rightful spot in the midcard.
Hornswoggle? Really?! Okay, screw it...I'm gonna give TNA another chance. Everyone is saying how good it is now, so I'm giving it a shot.
ReplyDeleteWait...you say Sara Del Rey signed with WWE? Goddamit.
The extra "so" really sells it.
ReplyDelete"
ReplyDeleteSantino goes to investigate, revealing that in fact Hornswoggle is the GM. Because the stupidest fucking thing they can think of is always the payoff."
They'll find a way to top that next week. Let's say........Donald Trump will be spotted with the laptop and will be revealed as the anonymous GM next week.
Sounds like you should have let the DVR record Raw and done Destination X first.
ReplyDeleteCM Punk: Just there to collect a paycheck since August 2011.
ReplyDeleteI won't even go that far. I've got RAW 1000 as his last recap in the pool.
ReplyDeleteWWE Monday Night Raw, presented by fanfiction.net.
ReplyDeleteThat actually doesn't sound like an actively BAD reason for them to fight, and it may give Punk the edge he's been lacking lately. But yea, Bryan defending the belt in the midcard (ANYONE defending it in the midcard) just pisses me off.
ReplyDeleteSara's just gonna keep the belt warm by trading it back and worth with Beth until Aurora debuts in 12 years.
ReplyDeleteNo way; best to (presumably) end the night on a good note.
ReplyDelete" Who is this person who looks like CM Punk but has clearly traded in his pipebomb for a vagina?" made me spit orange juice on my laptop. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteLol I see 0 redeeming qualties to this whole show. 0. That midget bastard was the reason I didn't watch 2007-2010. Right wasn't it 07 when he was vinces son?
ReplyDeleteSeriously thank god for Youtube. WWE is worse in 2012 than it has ever been and -ve watched for nearly 20 years. Way worse than Vince Russo Raw. That had some quality. All vince cares about is Linda McMahon being a senator. That's IT. So now we watch a show that should be on Disney channel because what, they can't already dig up all kinds of disgusting stuff in WWEs past shows?
Raw used to be awesome. Look up the crowd at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit on the buildup to Mania 18(after attitude). Now its just crap.
Amazingly wrestling fans continue to bitch HBK out on twitter for not watching WWE.
ReplyDeleteThat interactive, social media component they were hyping sounds almost as smug and insufferable as their Did You Know? bumpers, without which we wouldn't know that RAW has aired more episodes than Cheers, Seinfeld, Ice Road Truckers, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and A Prairie Home Companion combined.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of the show, this may have been a strong contender for worst Raw of the year. Pointless matches rendered even more pointless by their brevity, and the usual bullshit comedy. I'm going to just assume that Hornswoggle assumed the identity of the Anonymous GM for tonight, and wasn't actually the Anonymous GM back in 2010/2011, because it's the only way to keep from feeling insulted.
TNA has this company dead-to-rights on storytelling, continuity, in-ring product, and investment in new talent, to say nothing of how an audience's investment in storylines, matches, and wrestlers is rewarded. It's almost as if they actually listen to their audience and, in the instances in which they don't, it's because they have a carefully laid-out plan to which they're adhering. Seriously, DEAD to RIGHTS.
I've just given up on the product now. I'll be content to watch those 5 minute mashups of RAW & Smackdown! that guy on YouTube puts together since that's easier to follow. I bought some tickets to a house show about two months ago, but I probably won't go at this point.
ReplyDeleteYou think three hour RAWs will be bad? Right now, people in Denver are nearing the end of a FIVE HOUR SHOW!
ReplyDeleteWhen Hogan said, "he's figured it out" I thought he was lying. He proved me wrong and hopes he contines to do so.
ReplyDeletefuck this show
ReplyDeleteEh....Knowing their history they'll stick Del Rey in as the opponent for Kelly Kelly, have some matches where she does all the work but then loses to Kelly on a fluke pin, and then wish her good luck in her future endeavors since for some reason she never got over.
ReplyDeleteHulk Hogan has turned TNA around, brother!
ReplyDeleteThe only problem with TNA right now is that they are still irrelevant. The day that Impact Wrestling posts a 1.5 rating is the day that I will finally consider watching.
Well, the 5 minute mashup should cover all the actual in ring action bell-to-bell. And then have an extra minute for AJ to skip around a bit.
ReplyDeleteI'll give you the first two but WWE far out classes them in investing in new talent. WWE just brought in Del Ray and Pac, while TNA brought in Lars Only and some dude named Flip.
ReplyDeleteGoing from Destination X to this Raw is like being a Make a Wish kid that died the day after getting to hug Mila Kunis.
ReplyDeleteYou'll consider watching if more people start watching. Hard to argue with that kind of logic.
ReplyDelete" I'm going to just assume that Hornswoggle assumed the identity of the
ReplyDeleteAnonymous GM for tonight, and wasn't actually the Anonymous GM back in
2010/2011, because it's the only way to keep from feeling insulted. "
I have bad news fo ryou.
I have
I think Scott makes money off these Raw recaps, so hopefully he'll keep doing them. Plus, his recap is the best part of the show.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you meant that as sarcasm, but yeah, that's what I meant.
ReplyDelete" I'm going to just assume that Hornswoggle assumed the identity of the
ReplyDeleteAnonymous GM for tonight, and wasn't actually the Anonymous GM back in
2010/2011, because it's the only way to keep from feeling insulted. "
Sad
This show was so fucking retarded. That's all I got.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big believer that Hogan's current role is being perfectly played. 5-10 minutes of TV time a week as a secondary character to build up others is EXACTLY the role he should be playing at this point in his career, and guess what, it's working!
ReplyDeleteI do have a feeling he'll be teaming with Sting against the mystery guys at Bound for Glory, but I'm ok with him working a single, limited match a year if it helps draw some eyeballs to the product.
Less is more with the legends and TNA seems to finally have realized that with their current utilization of Sting and Hogan.
That kind of mentality is why they won't get a 1.5 rating.
ReplyDeleteWell, considering he'll be at Raw 1000 to do a DX reunion, and then a few weeks later in San Antonio for "HBK Night" - he should probably get a refresher.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming he eats an F5 in San Antonio to sell the SummerSlam match.
Even a couple months ago I wasn't yet ready to give up on Punk as a face. I mean, it was obviously long since dead, but that's how great last July and August were. It took me that long to completely let go of the idea that he could be this transcendent agent of change. But fuck it, bring on the heel turn. Eve introducing it into kayfabe crystallized it for me. The Summer of Punk worked because what he was saying was true. Well now what's true is that Punk has been overshadowed and neutered.
ReplyDeleteFantasy booking: Cena wins MITB, Punk retains against Bryan. Cena says he's cashing it in at SummerSlam, RVD-style. Punk starts to subtly let his inferiority show in the promos leading up to it, a la Austin going into WM17. During the match there's a ref bump and Brock runs in and F5's Cena, seemingly out of revenge. Punk's out during the exchange, but takes advantage of the prone Cena to get the win, Brock still at ringside. After the bell Punk blasts Cena with the title, and Brock jumps in to join the beat down. Heyman runs in to direct traffic. If they can get Chael to join in, that would just make it even more epic (I read that they're trying to bring him in for something). The next night on RAW, Heyman introduces Punk, who's flanked by Brock and Chael (if they can make it happen). Punk drops his first true pipebomb in a year, laying into everyone for being overshadowed while he's been champ for forever. Cena interupts, challenging Punk to a rematch. Punk says Cena's not entitled to one since he, and not Cena--despite popular belief--is the WWE champion, and as long as Punk's the champion Cena's not getting a shot. Punk cheats his way through HHH, Taker, Rock (Brock interference can set up their WM29 match), until Cena wins the Rumble and beats dethrones Punk at WM29.
I don't understand why their ratings would influence your decision. There have been many, many forms of entertainment that didn't have mass appeal but were still good.
ReplyDeleteOh DEAR GOD. Of all the options they could've gone in, they went there? I'd have rather had them never mention it again than go that route.
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteI don't get Spike TV, so I won't affect the rating regardless.
ReplyDeleteBut that's the kind of booking that would make a nine-year-old cry!
ReplyDeleteDon't diss on Disney Channel - at least they employ writers that can make a three act story with basic continuity.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking for weeks that's exactly what will happen. I just don't think they can resist the WM9 style ~SWERVE~ of Bryan winning it then getting destroyed in <5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteUsually the fact that something doesn't have mass appeal is the first sign that it's good.
ReplyDeleteUmmm...
ReplyDeleteThat makes no sense. If you like the show, watch it. If you don't like it, don't watch it. It shouldn't matter if they have 1.5 or 15 rating.
It's amazing what a difference a year makes.
ReplyDeleteThis time last year WWE had some of the hottest show leading into Money in the Bank. This year? Holy shit.
If TNA keeps improving the point of getting to a 1.5, I can always go back and watch all of the old shows that got them to that point.
ReplyDeleteIf they don't make it, and fall back into the TNA of the vast majority of the existence, I'll have saved myself many hours of frustration.
Scott does make money off these, so yes, I will keep doing them. I've watched much worse over the years and stuck through it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip. I'm gonna go track down Season 1 of Joannie Loves Chachi first things tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteLast year they add probably the hottest angle since SCSA/Rock at WM X7. And now...Hornswoggle is the GM. what...the...fuck...
ReplyDeleteImagine paying for that. I feel bad for the audience.
ReplyDeleteSo I go to WWE.com, and let me get this straight:The Prime Time Players are the number one contenders... meaning they get the next shot at the tag titles, right? So how come two guys in Hunico and that other guy, who if I'm not mistaken not only have they never won a tag team match, but have never wrestled as a tag team, are getting a title shot on the Youtube Preshow?
ReplyDeleteI wish ESPN would shitcan that asshole Chris Berman so the HR Derby would be watchable.
ReplyDeleteI loved the show Arrested Development. One of my favorites. It never got a big audience, and Fox pulled the plug after 2.5 seasons. But still, I had a great time watching the show and enjoyed almost every minute of it.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, it got cancelled and had crappy ratings. I guess I should have saved myself the hours of frustration caused by watching a show I enjoyed.
I'm gonna go watch Two and a Half Men. Sure I hate it and I despise Ashton Kutcher, but at least it gets high ratings. But at least I didn't get frustrated by spending hours watching a comedy that made me laugh.
Don't worry, from what I'm gathering, even your parenthetical duplicate post recognition is at least more entertaining and thought-provoking than RAW was.
ReplyDeleteYou added a MARRIAGE angle to the AJ/Punk/Bryan thing?! WHY?! What...is...the...point? And Hornswoggle was the GM? That whole angle was paid off with a bad khali joke and Jerry Lawler fighting with a little person? Go fuck yourselves WWE. As soon as the Punk/Cena ****1/2 classic is done on Sunday, I'm out. TNA, you have a new fan.
ReplyDeleteI could explain, but that would be a Zackdown spoiler.
ReplyDeleteSo you watch the show soley based on TV ratings?
ReplyDeleteActually, the ratings for Two and a Half Men are declining.
ReplyDeleteI don't care about the specific rating number so much as the MOMENTUM of the ratings. If TNA jumps 50% in the next six months or so, that's a sign that I need to watch it.
MORE SOAP OPERA BULLSHIT needs to be your new catchphrase, Scott, FOR SOME REASON.
ReplyDeleteIf I was Sara Del Rey, I'd fail a drug test now.
ReplyDeleteI never ever thought I'd say this... but I've actively started to turn the channel whilst Raw is on... and now go out of my way to watch TNA. Wow how things change quickly. Sad sad times to be a WWE fan.
ReplyDeleteA refresher?! Half this stuff gets dropped without a mention.
ReplyDeleteI must have missed that in all the suckatude in this show.
ReplyDeleteBut then you waste the two main draws of Cena and the WWE Championship in the same match! That super combination should be saved for a Wrestlemania, and even then only for a super anniversary show like Wrestlemania XXX.
ReplyDeleteWhat's even more amazing is that it's almost the exact same cast of characters as last year. You can look at other huge drop-offs and point to something specific. WCW's mid-card got gutted when Raven, Benoit, Malenko, Guerrero, and Saturn left in short order. WWF struggled to find it's bearing after Hogan's departure. The talent raids on ECW took their toll eventually.
ReplyDeleteBut WWE a year ago had pretty much the exact same roster as the mess that is stinking up the joint right now.
I think their target demographic is mentally challenged people, but that might be an insult to the mentally challenged.
ReplyDeleteIn a way I dont, only because I could see Vice bringing him in to do commentary.
ReplyDeleteSounds not very far removed from prostitution...we don't even give you a kiss when we're done. :-(
ReplyDeleteYikes, what a bad show.
ReplyDeleteThe only semi-positive thing I could say is that I'm still not certain who'll win the Punk-Bryan match this Sunday.
But that's about it. I'm pretty positive Cena will win the Raw/WWE title MitB. Before tonight I would've told you that Ziggler would win the Smackdown/World title MitB, but the way Vickie was eying Tensai tonight makes me think Cody or (ugh) Tensai will win the match, leading Vickie to dump Dolph and a possible face turn for Dolph. I can't see Sheamus losing to del Rio. Kofi/Truth will retain.
Wow, only 5 advertised matches? I guess we'll get Ryback & Brodus squashes too, with maybe a US title defense as well. At least Punk-Bryan & the Smackdown ladder match should be fun.
Well shoot, you should have just said that at the start :-)
ReplyDeleteYour logic is flawed. WWE's ratings are *triple* what TNA does, yet TNA puts on a show that's 3 times better.
ReplyDeleteWell, it probably would be better than this week's RAW...
ReplyDeleteAnd Disney show child stars end up every bit as screwed up as post-Attitude era WWE superstars did!
ReplyDeleteSo Santino will be doing double duty? Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI hate fantasy booking...but this is better than what actually will happen.
ReplyDeleteNot "solely", but I'm not particularly interested in watching a show that hasn't been vetted. It means I miss out on a lot of such sterling social media interaction as this, but I get by.
ReplyDeleteWell, what else would they do? Have a feud between two great wrestlers, who fight because they want to be champion and prove they're the best? What kind of crazy booking would that be?
ReplyDeleteOh my god that was a classic rant. Scott is the greatest.
ReplyDeleteMaybe!
ReplyDeleteBut no, I completely forgot he was in the World title Money in the Bank match.
Try reading this again:
ReplyDelete"I don't care about the specific rating number so much as the MOMENTUM of
the ratings. If TNA jumps 50% in the next six months or so, that's a
sign that I need to watch it."
When a wrestling company consistently puts out a quality show, the ratings start rising. I will watch TNA once ratings start significantly rising.
Or can you think of a reason why TNA will continue putting on really good shows and yet still see ratings that never rise above 1.0?
Prediction: Cena wins Money in the Bank. Cashes it in on Raw 1,000 and wins to give the episode "the rub."
ReplyDeleteI don't remember a worse opening to raw though.
ReplyDeleteTonight's episode of Raw, and the WWE's current run of form in general, really illustrated why it's important to have a vital number 2 promotion. Just about a year ago I'm sure we were all wishing that TNA would just go away, or hoping that the WWE signed their quality talents like Roode, Styles, etc. Well, TNA has seemingly turned a corner and is producing a much better wrestling program. Of course, this might change 2-3 months from now, but it's always good to have another promotion we can watch, and be entertained by, while the WWE is going through this rather poor phase.
ReplyDeleteThis is also why it kinda pisses me off when folks start dancing on Ring of Honor's impending grave. Yes, their angles are (for lack of a better word) boring- but they're coherent & logical at the very least. And ROH TV will give you 2-3 very solid TV matches per week. The WWE has 4 televisions and very few WWE TV matches have the same quality of a random ROH TV bout. Ring of Honor might not be everyone's cup of tea but it's a clear alternative to what the WWE is putting out every week.
Nah, I get it. "If TNA becomes cool then I will watch it because I want to be cool too. I'm not going to watch something that isn't considered cool".
ReplyDeleteIt's totally retarded to me, to be fair, but I get what he is saying. =)
That's not necessarily true. While the ratings were going up in 1999, go back and read some of Scott's reviews or JD Dunn's and you'll find them both to be frustrated with where storylines and a lot of things were going. With your logic, because the ratings are up, the show is good. That's not necessarily the case.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it's impossible to pinpoint why ratings are down. It's easy to say that the company would have to finding the "Stone Cold" of this generation, but WWE's ratings didn't go up when Punk had all the buzz last year. The show is good now.
One reason why the show is good? Quite possibly the best wrestler in TNA is the World Champ.
Imagine showing this episode of raw to someone after last years mitb?
ReplyDeleteAnybody who defends this is biased.
ReplyDeleteDo you think someone, somewhere enjoyed the santino khali comedy segment? Even one person?
ReplyDeleteA girl who looks like she is 14 getting so much TV time and attention is proof that Jerry Lawler has much more backstage pull than anyone gives him credit for.
ReplyDeleteEmotionally charged rhetoric aside, that's correct.
ReplyDeleteThe close with cm punk and aj was so bad. Cm punk looks awful, they made me not look forward this match, god what a bad finish
ReplyDeleteDid I mention I want my hobby back? I don't think I did.
ReplyDeleteRight on, anyone who is actually celebrating ROH's potential demise deserves every single second of tonight's RAW (along with every second of the three hour RAWs to come if this direction continues).
ReplyDeleteHEY! No rational thinking. Straighten up.
ReplyDeleteBooking CM Punk: urdoingitwrong
ReplyDeleteI fucking wish I was watching this crap.
ReplyDeleteIt just sounds terrible.
More AJ?
Are you fanboys getting it yet?
Fuck, he's just about the only person I can think of that's worse than Cole.
ReplyDeleteHornswoggle is the new GM? Looks like he'll be getting his 3rd Gooker Award. Or is it the 4th? I dunno, but it looks like we have our first Wrestlecrap dynasty. Multiple championships.
ReplyDeleteBy this point I can totally imagine a full-on mentally challenged, handicapped, short bus riding, headgear wearing, nerdy 12-year-old saying, "WWE? I don't watch that retarded shit."
ReplyDeleteActually in my line of work I am capable of labelled something "totally retarded" and being clinically dispassionate. =) It's a great living.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing everyone is off that bandwagon now.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mind it, actually. But I just laughed at the fact that Khali's response was different every time he got asked the same question.
ReplyDeleteDoubt anything is going to top that. Well done!
ReplyDeleteNobody wants to let it play out any longer, and see where it goes? It's hard always being right.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why people are upset about Hornswoggle being the anon GM.
ReplyDeleteI hope you stick around, I find you most entertaining when you rant on rubbish like this and are pissed off. To me, your real talent is your ability to hilariously bury shit like this.
ReplyDeleteA bad angle with an even worse payoff?? Yeeeeah, I can see why.
ReplyDeleteAs a fan of all 3, Punk, Byran, and yes, even AJ, I've grown tired! I'm one of the ones who decided to "wait it out and see where it goes", because I thought as a background story to the feud it started out really good. Wheras now, it's overexposed, overdone, and just plain rediculous, it went from intriguing, to a guilty pleasure, to no pleasure at all.
ReplyDeleteSo I waited to see how it played out....and....well sir, I don't like it.
It's a dead angle that was brought back for one night as a gag.
ReplyDeleteIdiotic Elitist "anti-smark smark" says: You dopes should be greatful Punk & Bryan are in the main event.
ReplyDeleteRealist says: Nobody should be greatful for a bad angle. I don't care who's in it. I'm not a big Cena fan, but he's certainly a lot more interesting when he's involved in a good angle.
What's with the McMahons?
ReplyDeleteDoes EVERY Raw 1000th Highlight have to be about The McMahon Family?
I swear, in EVERY one of those segments, a McMahon (or Levesque) in someway, somehow involved, save for "This is Your Life".
God, stop blowing yourself.
I just deleted this from my DVR without watching it. I mean, I saw the opening and the ending live, but none of what I heard may me want to go back and give it a watch.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what these 3 hour Raws are gonna look like, but they're gonna be a train wreck.
YOU'RE HIRED.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that. I'd rather have a shitty angle leading to a good match then the other way around. Then again, I marked out for the nWo just as hard as everyone else, and I can't think of one match off the top my head from all of it that topped **. (Though I'm sure someone else will, and I hope they do, I wanna watch some wrestling on Youtube before I go to bed.) And from I'm reading here, it doesn't seem like a bad angle, it's just being presented in a bad way.
ReplyDeleteTHERE'S NOT THREE ACTS IN A STORY.
ReplyDeleteTHERE'S ONE ACT. IF I DON'T LIKE IT AFTER ONE ACT, SHOW'S OVER.
Chin, you nailed your prediction brother. It'll be great to see what happens.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it sad that...that graphic was one of the best parts of the whole damn show?
ReplyDeleteI 've blocked zanadude, but if enough people ...
ReplyDeleteThis sucks.
ReplyDelete*drops mic, leaves*
Wish they would just unite Bryan/Punk/AJ into a trinity group of sorts. Punk as the leader, Bryan the enforcer, and AJ the crazy chick. Maybe have them unite when Cena wins the MITB title and Bryan protects Punk/stops Cena under a "I'm the only one who gets to defeat you" moment that leads to the two uniting as allies as they enter into a bromance type partnership. Maybe toss in the idea of them both fucking AJ and AJ being the crazy chick who doesn't care about being passed around by two men who are clearly using her as a filter from which they get to fuck the other.....
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't say this if the show had a higher rating, would you? ;)
ReplyDeleteI saw the ending live and thats it. I dont think it was the worst ever, but certainly not good enough to make me regret missing the show.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget about the bus and the permission to have Lars Fredriksen and Rancid play on his DVD.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, though. Still not worth it. Especially when people like Moosejaw Eve are subtly burying him and his title reign.
It started out good and interesting, as a background aspect...but now that the AJ thing is the main reasoning for this feud now, rather than just a side-story, is what turned me off from it.
ReplyDeleteThe WWE is not written for kids, it is as if it was written by kids.
ReplyDeleteI hope you appreciate the irony of calling anti-smarks elitist.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading this thread it appears only a mentally retarded person could enjoy the product right now.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
ReplyDeleteHe's back, folks. And here I was thinking VKM did end up hiring you.
Wait. Vince...didn't hire you, did he?
Baby clothes/food/diapers ain't cheap. If I'm Scott, l keep doing these rants until it gives him permanent brain damage.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean I've been upgraded from "Empire Strikes Back is Fourth Best Star Wars Guy"? to "Guy Who Uses Ratings To Determine What He Watches Guy"?
ReplyDeleteRight. Among the litany of reasons this show is terrible, that's way down on the bottom. AJ's ridiculous acting overwhelmed everything else in terms of stupidity.
ReplyDeleteOn a good note at least there will be some good matches for the best of DVDs.
ReplyDeleteReally digging TNA right now though. I'm sure even the wwe wrestlers are starting to take notice.
Hey, I'm the guy who thinks Episode III is the third best in the series, so you're not alone with having an outlook different from others.
ReplyDeleteNow, if you only like the ***** Star Wars Movies, then people might speculate. :oP
I love the logic of Vince, here...
ReplyDeleteSomething catches his fancy...he builds it up, then the entire thing plays out wrong, and the players get blamed.
I fully expect AJ to be jobbing to a returning Kharma as "punishment".
Just a few observations:
ReplyDelete-the AJ stuff is fun, and most importantly it's over (as in crowd pleasing) and will soon be over (as in the end). After the 1000th show we're moving onto HHH/Brock and Punk/Cena as the main angles. So just tough it out for the next couple weeks. I know it's been a disaster thus far, what with the great matches and the crowd eating it up and all.
-I like Kidd having an angle, so Tensai beating him up is fine. Kidd was a jobber back when he had no angles outside of NXT. He'll be back there soon, but for now I'm enjoying it. It's a hell of a toboggan ride!
-this review was overly negative. I can appreciate not enjoying the show, but come on, AJ misspoke with the Tuesday/Friday thing.
-the anon GM was just a throwaway gag on a long forgotten angle. It's not worth getting worked up over.
Why does WWE have to resort to Russo’s Law (“Given a series of alternatives for a storyline, inevitably the most fucking stupid one will result”), when they don't know what to do? Does Vince really think we're all sitting at home going, "Hornswoggle's the GM. I'm so buying the pay per view." Is there something wrong with doing a payoff that ISN'T fucking stupid?
ReplyDeleteUnlike other posters, I have a life outside of posting on the blog. So I tend to take lengthy breaks from doing so.....
ReplyDeleteI'm still on.
ReplyDeleteLots of funny ass comments from some new guys.
ReplyDeleteGuess its up to Fuj to give these guys the rub and get them recognized.
You see what 10 likes and profile pic did for Jobber123.
I can only speak for myself. but my reason to be upset is because it fit in so perfectly with the current state of their shows where nothing really matters and everything is forgotten. the Nexus angle was their big summer programm of 2010, even headlining SummerSlam. and a big part of that angle was that anonymous GM.
ReplyDeleteI would absolutely agree that comedy has its place in wrestling (and especially in the WWE) but if it seems to be more than 2/3 of your shows something is wrong.
Sorry, what great matches have we seen? The one Punk-Bryan one two months ago?
ReplyDeleteOkay, in terms of MOTYC, the OTL match is the only one that qualifies. But in the past 6 weeks we've seen these guys in the ring a lot and every match has been at minimum "good". Punk/Sheamus vs Bryan/Ziggler from Smackdown (where Ziggler pinned Sheamus). Punk/Sheamus vs Bryan/Kane from Raw a couple weeks back. Hell, even Bryan/Kane with AJ as the timekeeper was a good, solid match. And Punk/Bryan had a rematch on Raw like 6 weeks ago that was very good (like 3.5 stars good).
ReplyDeleteyou still don't get the current WWE, do you? it doesn't matter who wins or loses matches!
ReplyDelete*sigh* :(
I don't know what that was supposed to be, or why it was supposed to be funny. Khali isn't much of a comedian. I'd say he should keep his day job, but he sucks at that to.
ReplyDeleteFuj, don't get crazy. Don't go giving away "likes" and such to the undeserved! What have they done?! We need to protect THIS BUSINESS of commenting on the blog. I say that you, myself, Chin, and perhaps Ryan can be the 1-2-3 Kid in our own version of The Kliq. We'll protect our commentating spots.and hold undeserving people down, where they belong.
ReplyDeleteReading the comments here, you would think that the crowd totally shit on the proposal stuff...but the crowd actually seemed really into it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we, of the Flair vs Steamboat era, really don't know what mainstream America wants in 2012?
and you'll probably have to wait for the **** 1/2 classic between Punk/Cena until Summerslam.
ReplyDeletewho gives a fuck about them? just because certain types of shows etc. are popular doesn't mean that wrestling shows should try to emulate them as good as they can.
ReplyDeleteJust got a chance to watch this show. If you didn't like it, that's your prerogative, but the crowd on hand was way into all three of the characters, especially AJ, who is a bigger star now than she was yesterday.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool that WWE and TNA seem to be doing so well with two completely different audiences. Maybe the next cyclical wrestling boom is upon us...
When the fuck is his DVD coming out? I've heard about it for like a year or so now.
ReplyDeleteEmpire....Fourth best.....WHAT????????
ReplyDeleteWith the 1,000th episode theme, this would have been a perfect opportunity to bring back someone else as a surprise. Why not something goofy like Howard Finkel and instead of under the ring find him backstage on his laptop. Or make it King Kong Bundy who says he always thought he could do a good job setting up matches, or the Million Dollar Man, or IRS, Rick Martel, or something like that. If it's going to be a silly ending, bring out someone who the announcers can give a historical background of for newer fans in keeping with the 1,000th episode. Why not?
ReplyDeletei was at work bored so im gonna expound on this.
ReplyDeletevince- scott keith. duh.
john cena- chin
hhh- ryan murphy
steph- tprincess
shane o mac- toss up between michael bradley and logan sisco.
vince russo - caliber
jef vinson- dolph ziggler
flairforthegold and nwa88- flair (the good years) and arn
gentlemanjeff- barry windham
jobber123 - zach ryder six months ago.
phredric- cm punk
zanadude- daniel bryan
stuart chartock- randy orton
i had more but now i left.
i could really buy that but its gonna take another year of picture perfect booking on tnas part for it reflect fscally. wwe makes so much money out of the ring it doesnt matter ppv buys are in the toilet. they could produce dvds. they could pimps shirts. they make a dirext to dvd movie. as long as they stay in cruise control the kids will eat it up. and people make babies everyday.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe the average fan in a WWE arena is a fucking idiot.
ReplyDeleteThey were seriously taping Smackdown after that??? Can't wait for Zack Ryder to get the blame when the crowd is dead for the whole taping.
ReplyDeleteAh, c'mon, that's low Fuj.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I have to be Russo? Shouldn't that be Jesse Baker?
Shouldn't I be Nash? The funny, well built guy who although is hated by a few, people can't deny that he's funny, and has a place in this business?
I should at least be Bret Hart, because I'm Scott's hardest working guy, and he can count on me for anything at anytime.
Evil Doink - Fuj
I think that fits.
Exactly. The 1996 Bash at the Beach did less buys than 1995 that was headlined by Vader & Hogan on the set of Baywatch.
ReplyDeleteEvery match on last nights show sucked though. I agree smackdown has had good matches and been the better show.
ReplyDeleteJust get an office job, then you can post all day!
ReplyDeleteBecause that means Hornswoggle is on my television, and that isn't OK.
ReplyDeleteThey wouldn't like it either.
ReplyDeleteNext week on Raw, AJ is the guest GM, ring announcer, commentator, timekeeper, referee, popcorn vendor and ticket-taker. Also, all Superstars will come out to AJ's music. There will be three video packages where current and former Superstars talk about what an influence AJ has had on their careers and lives. Oh and if John Cena loses, he's FIRED (by AJ)
ReplyDeleteSir, you have just described "trending".
ReplyDeleteThe Lollipop Guild got back together again? Sweet!
ReplyDeleteI did.
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched RAW in ages, but why am I getting flashbacks to WCW Thunder? Because it's starting to feel like that level of a train wreck.
ReplyDeleteAwesome
ReplyDeleteAfter watching this show tonight I am left with one simple question, "Is Monday Night Football back?"
ReplyDeleteTo quote miko363 on the live thread...
ReplyDelete"Anyone in the crowd caught cheering this shit should be fucking arrested. "
I think that sums things up nicely.
Good god I hope they taped smackdown first!
ReplyDeleteSeriously.....at least last year when football season was ramping up, the CM Punk/HHH/Nash/who sent the text ?? storyline was kinda interesting. Plus hadn't Mark Henry just won the title? There's nothing particularly compelling on the horizon.
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteWhy yes hank Williams jr, I am ready for some football. Thanks for asking!
ReplyDeleteThis was worse.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXyzuVk7SoI
ReplyDeleteSummer of Punk had me quite interested in WWE. Then like a balloon with too much hot air, it deflated and sputtered out of control.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's QUITE there from the sounds of it. Not yet. They're not on the production disaster level like camera or audio hiccups or things like someone letting Jericho in when he was banging on the door.
ReplyDeleteHard knocks starts in a couple weeks too I think.
ReplyDelete...and all wrestlers must skip down the ramp when they enter.
ReplyDeleteThe "it didn't suck": John Cena actually cutting a serious promo, CM Punk asking "where's the ring, big money???" (it was so randomly hilarious), Michael Cole calling fans out for the hypocrisy of voting on him to be in a match, then complaining about him being in matches.
ReplyDeleteThe uninteresting bullshit: Punk/Bryan/AJ....honestly, it feels like watching the trombone player and the saxaphone player arguing over the clarinet chick in a marching band. But, the live crowds the last few weeks have been eating it up for whatever reason (except for whoever was holding up that well-placed "BORING" sign during the annoying "will you marry me?..NO, WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEE?" segment....................Hornswaggle as GM. When Santino said "under the ring", I thought to myself "you have to be fucking kidding me", because I knew where they were going with it. Isn't Hornswaggle a face? Wasn't the anonymous GM , more often than not, a dick? .........oh, and yeah, apparently Kane is now a face, all because he had some promo with AJ where he is all like "uhhhhhh you are crazy, and that's sayin somethin comin from me, cuz I'M CRAZY!!!!!" Kane: wisecracking babyface.
Honestly, I'd have stopped watching weeks ago if not for the buildup to the 1,000th Raw. I haven't even bothered to follow the ratings, but I'm assuming by the general silence about it (along with the sudden BURST OF ENTHUSIASM for TNA that happened seemingly overnight) that they
haven't been setting the world on fire. Anybody wanna still try to claim that Rock wasn't mostly responsible for that buyrate at WM? Didn't think so.
Hey VKM,
ReplyDeleteSo, from a story perspective, why did Hornsowggle feel the need to help Cole & The Miz so much?
Scott,
ReplyDeletePlease, please, please; as bad as it gets don't stop. Your reviews of bad wrestling might be better than your reviews of good wrestling
I liked Daniel Bryan saying "Come home, AJ...come home..." and his expression after he got slapped.
ReplyDeleteThat was all I liked.
I thought Bryan's proposal was hilarious. I suppose it was funny because a friend of mine called it as soon as Bryan came running out. And then when he tries to mouth the words, "it's in the back" about his engagement ring, I also thought it was funny.
ReplyDeleteI just get this modern-day Owen Hart vibe from Bryan.
But because Scott has hated the WWE since Extreme Rules, we'll never get a fair assessment of the Punk-Bryan-AJ angle from one of wrestling's best critics/reviewers.
And, Scott, the AJ slap thing was a play on last week's development where she kissed both men. She showed she is capable of loving and hating both of them. We don't know where she stands and this builds INTRIGUE. This was probably the best referee angle other than Shawn at SummerSlam 1997 and at Wrestlemania 28.
ReplyDeleteAnd CM Punk being neutered looks to be a thought-out angle. He was immediately weary of her because he's smart like that, then he was a little turned on. Because he was turned on, he started to care for her just enough to now he feels like an asshole if he crushes and devours her soul.
I see Aj turning on Punk or Punk reading into that and turning on her first. Either way, it should be an exciting climax to a storyline that has evolved for about 7 months since Bryan's initial title win. We'll either see the Harley Quinn storyline come to fruition or we'll see Cm Punk become THE man. All of this with the title at stake! It has been a bad ass angle and series of matches. But I guess I am an idiot for thinking that pushing great workers over great bodybuilders was a good thing, or pushing younger people as well. They threw some soap opera stuff in with this group and it has worked out because it appears that all three of them are enormously over with the fans, or in Cm's case, STILL over.
Dear WWE: Thank you for taking away CM Punk's balls!
ReplyDeletewell, one could argue that those things were just mistakes and accidents while the WWE actually wanted the show yesterday to be that way.
ReplyDeleteI think your comment probably proves Joe's point.
ReplyDeleteSerious question: at what point do you and Phrederic stop whining about people not liking Raw?
ReplyDeleteI'm blown away that they scripted her to say that. Just amazing. They just love burying their entire roster!
ReplyDeleteWhich exactly why it won't happen. WWE seems to refuse to do anything that might upset the pre-teen Cena fanbase out of fear that it might derail the Cena merchandise gravy-train. I mean, hell, even Hulk Hogan lost and was made to look weak leading up to PPVs.
ReplyDeletein all fairness. most people that didn't hate everything about last nights show specifically mentioned those segments and buried pretty much all of the rest.
ReplyDeleteYou mean Duke Nukem Forever territory.
ReplyDeleteThanks for saying I'm boring.
ReplyDeleteThese reviews are painful to read, I should probably stop.
ReplyDeleteWWE signed better people but it remains to be seen what they do with them. Kenny King jumped from ROH and got a meaningful win on TV, then a big win on PPV. Del Ray & PAC might be in developmental for the next 2 years & quietly released never to be seen on Raw. That's not what I want, or even think, will happen; but it could b/c WWE loves dicking around with their talent.
ReplyDelete