Hey guys. This week we're going to go over what I feel are the Top 4 moves that expose the business. World champions, movie stars, they're all guilty.
This is something that's really only
happened in the last few years it seems.
Obviously, with wrestling, the goal is
to win the match, correct? So, when you can snap off your finisher
you'd seemingly want to do it as quick as you can, right? Well, as of
late whenever a guy gets his finisher going, he makes sure he's
facing the hard-camera. I've literally seen John Cena get someone up
in the AA over in a corner, then he saunters over to the center of
the ring to execute it. Brock Lesnar did the same thing recently. Meanwhile,
the guy who's up on the shoulders, is just laying there, waiting.
It's obnoxious, and takes you right out of the match. Although I would love to see Stone Cold whip someone off the ropes, boot'em in the stomach, then walk'em over to the center of the ring and drop the Stunner.
The People's Elbow, honestly, could be a
strong contender for number 1, but it's only been around for 5-6
years [active years]. I'm sure some of you know I got into wrestling
in 1995, so I was there for the boom period. Well, even though I'd be
watching wrestling with recent converts, they'd turn back to their
naysaying ways when The Rock would execute the most ridiculous
finisher in history. I mean, c'mon. The guy is laying down for quite
a while, getting a chance to rest, but is suddenly sent crashing back into the land of unconscious because an elbow grazed his arm. Could you imagine any UFC fighter
losing to something like that? Or any person with a pulse, for that
matter
OK. We've all done it. You're growing
up watching wrestling, and you want to try moves on your friends or
siblings. You start off with something easy like the Boston Crab, or
the arm bar. Eventually you graduate to the Sharpshooter & The
Figure 4. Finally, someone says “Let's try the sleeper!” to which
everyone agrees. Now, it's discussed that when you feel yourself
going out, let us know. Of course that person never gets a chance
to, because about 3 seconds after it's clamped on the person is out.
It scared the hell out of me when I had it done, because I was
literally unconscious in a matter of seconds. There was no hope spot.
There was no dropping of the arm 2 & ½ times until I stop short
and start to wag the finger in a “no” gesture. I was out, and
apparently making a snoring sound.
When I was 12, I still thought
wrestling was on the legit, even though I knew about the sleeper.
I had to lie to myself and say “He must not have it on right, and
THAT'S why it's taking the guy so long...yeah, that's it!”. Like
George Costanza said, it's not a lie, if YOU believe it.
I love The Flair Flop. I laugh, and pop
for it every time. But honestly, it's an embarrassment. Now, others
may say that The Rock Bottom, or the sleeper is worse, but the Flair
Flop has been around for 30 years, and Flair was the champion for many of
those 30 years, so he was on top, and seen all the time. Meaning, the
Flop got a lot of exposure. You know, after the early 90's when it
all came out about wrestling, I can understand the Flop, but how on
Earth could you stand beside it during the 80's? I don't mean as a fan, but as a wrestler. When they were so protective of the business. What bad-guy, or
person in a fight would EVER do that? It's seriously as ridiculous as
all the crap Shawn did during his match with Hogan. I've seen a few
matches with people who are on the fence about wrestling, and every
time the Flair Flop happened, I'd get shit for the whole night.
Caliber Winfield is playing at the following showings...
Str8 Gangster, No Chaser - recently added The Top 3 Deaths of Jason Voorhees, and there's all the other good times I've got going on over there.
WCW In The Year 2000 - Recently updated with a SWERVE, baby! Disc 1 of WWE's Falls Count Anywhere DVD.
The Man Movie Encyclopedia Vol.1 - You know what it is by now. 4 reviews, all 5 stars, baby.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the Elbow is idiotic. And really, the same points that were made about that move apply to most off-the-top finishers too. If you hit the guy hard enough where you got time to slowly climb to the the top rope, why not just pin him?
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and the Worm go in with your People's Elbow inclusion?
ReplyDeleteI pretty much knew wrestling was fake from when I started watching it as a six year old because my Step Dad was sure to tell me. I guess for a little while I thought some things were still sort of real. I didn't really know what to look for as far as guys talking to each other in the ring, blading, until I was in my teens.
Just a personal thing but none of these you listed really bother me, just part of the spectacle to me. If I had to say anything that annoys me its when guys audibly call spots or redo spots they messed up on, or sell spots that completely missed, or announcers selling spots that missed.
My mom was always really nice and never busted my chops about wrestling, she just let me go along with thinking it was real. As I'll do with my kids.
ReplyDeleteGood call on the 'redoing spot' ordeal. Honestly, that's something that should have made the list.
And, it's not that I hate any of the things mentioned, I just feel they expose the business in a major way.
The fact that they turn to face the hard camera is of course absurd, but the act of moving into the center of the ring to perform a move can make sense in kayfabe. You want to make sure that when you hit your move that the guy will not be able to escape the pin simply by getting a foot or hand on the ropes. It takes much more energy to kick out, or even to escape your grasp than it does to simply touch the ropes for a break. Worth the time to move to the center and make it as hard as possible to escape from your upcoming finish and pin.
ReplyDeleteI've always felt the People's Elbow was a horrible finisher even though the majority of the crowds were popping for it. Then the Worm came along and I found it equally horrible. There is so much delay when executing the moves and there is very little impact once the move is hit.
ReplyDeleteThe other move the Rock does that is bad looking is the "look at the hand" just before he lays in the final punch in a series of punches - as if he can impart special powers into his fist just by staring at it for a second.
ReplyDeleteI swear, who let Mr. Perfect go to the Hair Academy for a $4.95 haircut and perm the night before SummerSlam '91?
ReplyDeleteWhat tipped me off that it was fake (even though I kind of knew in the back of my mind) was how guys were able to run out from the back to interrupt a pinfall, or otherwise interfere. They were obviously cued by someone in the back, meaning the whole thing was planned to start with. Come to think of it, this could have easily been #1 on this list.
ReplyDeleteHe used to spit in it for the last punch, I don't know why he did that or what made him stop.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part about the people's elbow is that he has a great finisher in the Rock Bottom!
ReplyDeletethe thought of you procreating makes me a sad panda.
ReplyDeleteNo move exposes THIS BUSINESS more than the canadian destroyer.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I never got to see wrestling as a true mark- even at 8 or 9, my parents were like "this is phoney" (my dad grew up watching Stampede, so I'm sure the WWF Circus was obviously fake). I still liked certain guys and wanted them to win, but I knew stuff was up, and never switched allegiances just because a guy turned heel or anything. I still couldn't figure out why guys would WILLINGLY lose a "Loser Must Retire" match, though.
ReplyDeleteI'd say the same, but I don't have to worry, you black folk never stick around ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I almost went with a Piper pic, but then I saw Perfect. I've always loved when Perfect has a lengthy match, because he gets the most ridiculous looking hair.
ReplyDeleteNow, since he's gone, Mr. Roode had the legacy, until he got a damn hair cut.
C'mon caliber, how can you not love the flair flop?!?! That's a classic. A little cartoonish selling by the heel only makes the babyface look that much more heroic
ReplyDeleteI thought the papa shango curse on the ultimate warrior was real and was scared I might get a curse put on me. Being a parent of a early 90's wwf mark couldn't have been easy.
ReplyDeleteToday any double ko then beat the 10 count spot is pretty exposing because if both guys were unconscious for 9 seconds they would stop the match
ReplyDelete95% of all professional wrestling moves are totally absurd, and not realistic or believable in the least to anyone over the age of 7.
ReplyDeleteYou want a silly move? The Irish Whip.
To me, the People's Elbow was the wrestling equivalent of high-stepping it into the end zone or doing an elaborate dunk that takes 2-3 more seconds than just a simple dunk/layup. It wasn't really the "finisher" so much as the finishing, showboating touch to a guy he'd already finished. He used it to follow up the Rock Bottom or at the very least, a spinebuster/sidewalk slam (whichever you wanna call it), which is arguably a finishing-caliber move.
ReplyDeleteI can see why people would get so bothered by it if Rock's entire schtick was the eyebrow and a way overly elaborate elbow drop, but those things were just the icing on the cake of him being a great worker and arguably the greatest talker ever.
There's no such thing as "exposing" a business for being fake fighting when said business hasn't tried to pretend it was real fighting in decades (arguably, it never did, although the matches were most "realistic" once upon a time most fans always knew it was fake). This is like saying the ridiculously unreal fight scenes in The Matrix expose the fact that they weren't really fighting for real (....OK, bad example since within the context of the movie, it wasn't real either, but I'm tired and I'm going with it). It's not an exposition unless they were trying to fool you.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's a "business exposing" move that people will never bring up in this topic? Almost any fucking suplex besides, like, a side belly-to-belly. An overhead belly-to-belly, a German suplex, a vertical suplex....unless you're twice the size of the guy you're fighting there's no way you could ever do any of those, and those are the simple, straightforward ones. Northern Lights? Tiger? Dragon? Perfectplex? C'mon. All "business exposing" worse than anything on this list.
Also, to be less wordy: ALMOST ALL PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING MOVES CLEARLY EXPOSE THE FACT IT ISN'T A REAL FIGHT.
I mean...smiling for the camera? Seriously? Like athletes never mug for the camera- yeah, sometimes even in-game- in real sports? C'mon, Caliber. Of all the "business-exposing" moves, that's what you got? Something that happens in legit competition all the time? Usain Bolt did way more than that for the camera on the way to shattering a world record four years ago in a sport as real as it gets.
I covered the People's Elbow below in this thread, but suffice to say within the (non)logic of talking about exposing the business or wrestling logic in general, it really isn't that bad; it's the equivalent of high-stepping to the end zone or throwing the ball off the backboard to yourself on a fast break instead of laying it in: you've already got the guy beat- since Rocky used it to follow up a Rock Bottom, spinebuster, chair shot or something else similarly match-ending- and you're just rubbing it in.
Sleeper holds? That's closer to a legitimate fighting move than most things in pro wrestling.
I'll give you the Flair Flop, but why is it embarrassing? Because it's a silly thing that only happens in pro wrestling?
Well, so is pretty much all of the rest of it, and it's still awesome.
Yeah, but how many pro wrestling punches really look good? Triple H's are probably the best in the modern-day business but even his don't *really* look like you'd punch someone for real. Close, though.
ReplyDeleteGerman suplexes are doable, grab someone around the waist and fall backwards.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you so sad you can't even fuck?
ReplyDeleteWhat would you say if your kids ask "Is wrestling real?"
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'd probably say something like "when I was your age, I KNEW it was real." And then proceed to tell him about a fight I was in where a guy gave me an Irish Whip and I just had to run until I hit something.
ReplyDeleteI said the sleeper hold was stupid because of how long people hold on.
ReplyDeleteDid you read the whole article? I didn't actually mean "smile for the camera" I just meant that as an expression, because they always make a note to carry their opponent to the middle and face the hard camera.
Again, if you'd read the whole thing, you'd see that I said the Flair Flop was number one because he was doing it back when wrestling was guarded.
Now, just because I know it's not a legit sport, doesn't mean I want to be constantly reminded of it.
You can't tell me you wouldn't complain if when you watched movies, random people would walk through shots, you'd hear DP's cell phones going off, and all sorts of things.