Skip to main content

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–08.02.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 08.02.12

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Taz

Austin Aries & Kenny King v. Bobby Roode & Zema Ion

And in a neat change, we get the tag match main event right off the top, as everyone brawls down to the ring without so much as a recap from last week. Aries beats on Ion and hits Roode with a flying axehandle to the floor, and then we get underway for real. Aries hits Ion with a corner clothesline and the faces give him a DOUBLE AIRPLANE SPIN for two. King gets a springboard legdrop for two. Aries slingshots in with an elbow for two. Aries with an elbowdrop for two, and King stomps on Ion in the corner. Whip to the turnbuckles gets two. Aries springboards in with a corkscrew splash for two, and they keep tagging in and out to work on Ion. King gets cocky, however, and Roode gives him the cheapshot and then trips him up to take him out of the ring. Ion follows with a flip dive (not to be confused with failed X Division competitor Flip Dive) and that gets two back in the ring. Over to Bobby Roode, who lays the badmouth on King while beating on him in the corner, and spits at Aries. Snap suplex and kneedrop on King get two. Roode keeps going to annoy Aries, drawing him into the ring like a good angry babyface, and the heels cut off the ring as we take a break. Back with Roode continuing his beatdown on King in the corner, and Ion cuts off the ring. King suplexes out of a facelock, but the heels drag him to the corner and stomp him down, but King finally makes the big babyface comeback and hits the enzuigiri on Ion for two. Aries comes in and it’s BONZO GONZO as he hits the suicide dive on Roode and King finishes Ion with his spinning slam at 15:00. Roode and Aries continue to dislike each other, King is challenging for the X title at the PPV, this was all good old school stuff. ***1/4

Meanwhile, we get a recap of the Aces & Eights saga thus far, and Sting promises to get to the bottom of this RIGHT NOW.

Sting joins us in the ring after the break, and he calls out James Storm. He shows the video from last week, with A&8 failing to attack James, but Storm counters that HE saw a bunch of cowards running like dogs when he came out to clean house. And in fact, he thinks that Kurt Angle has just as good reasons to be the guy behind A&8. Angle points out that he got as good of a beating as anyone else, and he’s gonna make Storm tap out tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray v. Robbie E

Robbie attacks goes for a quick pin, but gets nowhere. They trade chops and Bully finishes with a Bubba Cutter at 0:58.

Meanwhile, Madison continues trying to woo Earl Hebner.

#1 Contender match: Mickie James v. Madison Rayne v. Tara v. Gail Kim

Mickie looks like she did her makeup with Homer’s shotgun. The heels team up to dump Mickie, but Tara fights them both off, only to fall victim to a Rayne neckbreaker for two. Gail and Mickie brawl outside while Tara hits a sideslam on Rayne for two, but the heels double-team her until Kim misses a charge and goes flying out. Mickie finally emerges from the void and comes back on Rayne with a neckbreaker for two, but Kim gets a backbreaker. Tara comes back in with a slingshot legdrop on Kim for two. Miss Tessmacher is pretty amusing on commentary, basically cheering along like a fan and reacting to highspots. All four girls brawl and Kim gets a pin on Tara, but Earl is conveniently chatting up Madison. Mickie comes back on Rayne and Tara hits the Widow’s Peak on Kim, but Rayne rolls up Tara for the pin at 7:22, even though Tara’s shoulders were up and Hebner was clearly not even looking there. Now that’s some quality biased refereeing. The match was kind of a plodding mess, though. *1/2

Meanwhile, Sting talks to Brooke Hogan about the A&8 situation, but she gets a calling card from them and storms off in terror or delight or something. Who really knows with her?

Meanwhile, ODB & Eric Young try to figure out new ways to avoid defending their Knockouts tag titles. Young’s solution: Never be on the show.

Kid Kash v. Chavo Guerrero

Kash powers Chavo down, but Chavo takes him down with an armbar until Kash elbows out to take over. Kash pounds away on the mat, but misses a moonsault and Chavo makes the comeback. Spinning headscissors and dropkick gets two. Slingshot senton and he goes to finish, but Gunner distracts him and Kash boots him down again. Chavo comes back with the rolling suplexes and frog splash to finish at 4:36. This was fine, although hopefully he doesn’t reinvent his career doing an Eddie Guerrero tribute. **1/4

Meanwhile, Angle meets Wes Brisco (another legacy guy escaping WWE’s system?), and Devon/Garrett once again offer their services against the Aces & Eights threat.

Christopher Daniels & Kazarian throw Claire Lynch a baby shower! AJ is not there, since he’s “probably off in Australia impregnating someone down there.” They give a fine selection of gifts, like AJ action figures and toy belts, but Claire gets ANGRY FACE again and totally ruins an awesome segment, as she yells about AJ needing to do the right thing. I wanted more of Kazarian playing with the AJ doll and doing his entrance pose!

Meanwhile, Joseph Park offers Sting some quality legal representation. He still doesn’t remember that Black Hole Slam.

Bound for Glory Series: James Storm v. Kurt Angle

Angle works a headlock and they trade off on the arm, but Storm clotheslines him down and slugs away until Angle ducks the superkick and stomps him down in the corner. And we take a break, returning with Angle getting the rolling germans. Storm counters out of the Angle Slam, so Angle boots him in the head and gets two. Anklelock, but Storm reverses out to his own Angle Slam, for two. He tries a codebreaker, but Angle blocks with the anklelock and locks it in. Storm won’t tap, and Angle pulls him back from the ropes twice, but he COWBOYS UP and kicks Angle in the face to break. Superkick gets the pin at 13:20. And since all the main guys are surrounding ringside, Aces & Eights don’t try an attack this week. *** Storm calls out the A&8, but they’re nowhere to be seen this week. Roode once again accuses him of being behind it all. The evidence is certainly piling up.

The Pulse

Another good show in a series of them, with nothing offensive outside of ANGRY CLAIRE and a whole bunch of good old school matches.


  1. TheRealCitizenSnipsAugust 3, 2012 at 1:05 AM

    "although hopefully he doesn’t reinvent his career doing an Eddie Guerrero tribute."

    If anybody can think of a better career option for him at this point, I'd like to hear it.

  2. He can perform as an underground Mexican revolutionary, under his real name of Salvador Guerrero III. He could refuse to speak English and cut all his promos in Spanish (with an interpreter, a la Berlyn in WCW), wearing the colors of Mexico. 

    Maybe it's a bit derivative of LAX, but Chavo Guerrero is just so stale as a performer that he desperately needs an overhaul. Maybe they could drag Kerwin White out of mothballs.

  3. It's like night and day watching Impact and Raw.... It's amazing what it can do for a show when it isn't bogged down by countless recaps and every wrestler on the show has an agenda. 

  4. It's an idea. Stick him in a team with Joseph Park (since rich white assholes like Kerwin White usually hide behind lawyers)

  5. "And in a neat change, [...]"

    a good example of why TNA is fun right now. little tweaks in the structure of the show that result in not every show feeling the same.

  6. Wait a minute...midcarders tagging with main event guys??  I thought the sole purpose of a midcarder was to do jobs and trade meaningless titles.  This boggles the mind!

  7. Oh man, that was killing me.

  8. As bad as it gets with Claire (fat girl's name), that is a very small portion of bad every week.

    I will take a small portion of bad against an entire show of embarrassing skits and angles.

  9.  I do like that TNA is attempting to present Chavo Guerrero as a big deal, but at the end of the day, it's still the guy who done countless jobs for Hornswoggle a few years ago.

  10.  I don't want to live in a world where Joseph Park, esq. is a heel.

  11. Claire > Tout

  12. TheRealCitizenSnipsAugust 3, 2012 at 6:48 AM

    I guess I mean more from his own commercial standpoint. In theory, he COULD reinvent himself and catch fire, but honestly what are the odds? Take away the Guerrero name and he's an aging, moderately talented wrestler. Even by TNA standards he's small, and he's no longer half as quick as their young guys. Playing close to the Guerrero name at least gives him some credibilty and is worth a few nostalgia bucks. Can't really fault the guy for playing it safe.

  13. Oh, you didn't know that he could hit more free throws than John Cena?  Surely he should be the face of any wrestling company.

  14. I just want to give Joseph Park a hug.

  15. Am I the only one that got a good laugh out of the Earl Hebner joke from Madison??

  16. I need to catch a repeat. 

  17. I am impressed with the improvement in promo work and look of James Storm.  He does look like a larger than life star with the hair hanging down to the shoulders, ear rings and cool beard and has done a great with his mic work.

    Is it me or is TNA sorta molding Kenny King into their version of Shelton Benjamin?  Athletic wrestler, no nonsense, just show off the skills.

    I am in the minority with this statement:  I really like the Impact Zone crowd.  They have done a great job in their participation with the live show each week.

  18. -Claire's bad acting will be somewhat redeemed if it turns out she's a bad actress hired by Daniels (they ARE at Universal.).

    -This week's A&8 suspect is Samoa Joe.  Was he on the Australian tour?  Very conspicuous by his absence

  19. That's been the person I've hoped was behind it all. TNA could tie it into his mysterious kidnapping a while back and say that he bonded with this gang of thugs and are now using them to get back to the top of the promotion by taking out people in his way in the Bound For Glory Series standings.

  20. Claire's got those crazy eyes that indicate that she'd be a hell of a lay. Just make sure to get out the door immediately thereafter.

  21.  The lack of Garrett Bishoff lately concerns me. They wouldn't put him behind A&8, would they?

  22.  Stockholm Syndrome?  Sure, why not, they never did close that thread, did they?

  23. Daniels is on fire as heel right now. He's just owning his role.

  24. I'm pulling for Joe to win the BFG series, it'd be nice to keep him back in the main event mix, especially when there's guys like Roode, Storm, Aries, for him to work with now. I like how TNA didn't really take one guy and plug him into the main event scene - they took all their talented guys and just made them the main event scene. I'd legitimately buy any combination of Aries, Roode, Storm, Angle, Hardy, RVD, Bully Ray, Sting, AJ, Daniels, or Joe as a main event.

    TNA does the 50/50 booking to but it isn't predictable, and it comes off as realistic. These guys are all good so their matches can go either way. While WWE's 50/50 booking is predictable and usually just to make sure things seem even - usually the guy they want to get over wins the first one then loses the second one and just goes back to what he was doing.

  25. And I hope TNA puts a lot of thought into where this A&8's thing is going. They have to realize they've built up some good will lately and are on a roll with quality shows. It's actually a very interesting storyline - a rebel group invading the company, attacking top guys, and nobody knowing who's behind it. As they're doing now, they can imply that it's a current star leading them or an outsider. I'm skeptical, just because it's wrestling and these things tend to be a let down when they're revealed (if they're revealed at all, like the Nexus), but hopefully they realize they're onto something good here and make the payoff equally as good. If it was initially just a way to get Bishoff or Jarrett back on tv, scrap it.

    Is there anyone available that would be a good choice as leader? I wouldn't mind it being a former WWE guy if it's a guy we all know is talented and worthy of the push that would come along with it. It could be a chance to make someone into a star over-night, I just can't think of anyone available that fits that profile. John Morrison is a guy that could do a lot in TNA I just don't see him as the type that leads a rebel faction of violence.

  26. I'd say Eric is much more likely.

  27. Daniels' scarf and appletini >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Otunga's swetaer and thermos

  28. -Shane McMahon would be the absolute pinnacle fantasy booking.  He'd make sense, he'd get more buzz than anyone.

    -My second favorite scenario is a group of ex-TNA guys.


  29. The one sore spot I have is with Young and ODB still having the KO Tag Belts.  Either strip them or have the KO roster beat the hell out of them.

  30. Kazarian was great playing with the AJ doll too. They really do work well together.

  31. I might be able to buy Morrison as the pretty boy asshole who doesn't want to get his hands dirty, so he's got a gang to do the work for him.

  32. Where's Cranky Vince when you need a good FUCK YOU!!!!

    But seriously, giving rubs to up and coming X Divisioners by pairing them with main eventers?! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!

  33. Impact's even better RAW's roster of comedy writers: From Bully Ray's continuing infatuation with Twitter (Tweeting down the ramp = gold) to Kaz doing the AJ pose with the doll to Joseph Park in general, they're slaying the comic relief in addition to the great building angles and terrific ring work.

    Another small thing I loved: When Angle did the 3 Germans, I thought it was a great touch by Storm to go dead weight for the next two. That feels like a lot more logical sell than the pop-up-after-every-one that usually goes on.

  34.  I agree with his exclusion, i just find it funny that Anderson is the odd man out for the WWE cast-offs in your main event list

  35. Non-offensible show, about all I have to say.

    Favorite part was when they were posting Tweets in the beginning and they posted a tweet by someone named John Cena fan and showed a picture of John Cena.

    Can someone please explain the point of the last 10 minutes and the 1 minute cut back to the match then go to commercial?

  36. I just wish that ROH and TNA could work something out.

    ROH taking the TNA Roster out as a direct response to bad business with Kenny King sounds kinda cool.

  37. Heres the updated card.

    TNA World Heavyweight Title Match:-Austin Aries (c) vs. Bobby Roode
    -Bound For Glory Series Ladder Match:A.J. Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
    -Bound For Glory Series Tables Match:Bully Ray vs. James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie E.
    -Bound For Glory Series Falls Count Anywhere Match:Rob Van Dam vs. Magnus vs. Mr. Anderson vs. The Pope
    X-Division Championship Match:-Zema Ion (c) vs. Kenny King
    TNA Knockouts Title Match:-Miss Tessmacher (c) vs. Madison Rayne
    -Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez vs. Kid Kash and Gunner


    I work sunday and they still might get my money.

  38. I really think if Aces and 8s werent around they could legit reform Fourtune and it would stick this time.

    Bobby ROOOOOO
    Bully Ray

    That would an awesome team!

  39. OMG Shane McMahon would be so fucking awesome!

    As long as he never gets in the ring. But the lead wrestlers has to be someone great.

  40. Damn that's a nice card. This is the third straight tna ppv I'm looking forward to. Unbelievable how much better this show has gotten.

  41. It would be interesting, but would anyone care about another invasion angle?  Maybe if it was Joe as a mole helping ROH because they were the company that made him and TNA always pushed him aside for Sting, Hogan, etc.


Post a Comment