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The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–11.29.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 11.29.12

Live again from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley and Taz

Hulk Hogan starts us out with the continuation of the stupid Bully Ray storyline. He wants Bully to fess up RIGHT NOW. Bully thinks that Hulk can’t handle the truth of who the real man in Brooke’s life is, which brings out Brooke via her ridiculously terrible entrance music. But Austin Aries cuts in from the back, wondering just how Brooke can lay on her desk without hurting her back. That was such a funny heel line that even the crowd was laughing with him.

Minor note: The graphic for Final Resolution makes it difficult to see the “Re” part of “Resolution”, which makes the PPV appear a bit more politically incorrect than they’d like.

Mickie James v. Gail Kim

Gail gets a rollup for one and rakes the eyes to take control, then hits a corner clothesline and Sandow’s neckbreaker for two. She applies a headscissors on the mat for a nice alternative to the chinlock, and gets two from that. Mickie comes back with a flapjack, but misses something from the top and Gail gets one in the corner. Mickie reverses out of Eat Defeat and gets a spinkick for two. Mickie with the comeback and clotheslines, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Gail fights off the DDT, but a second try gets the pin at 4:58. I have no beef with this. **1/4

Meanwhile, Styles and Storm argue ahead of their tag match later tonight.

Meanwhile, Hulk interrogates our X-Division contenders: Kenny King, Zema Ion, Austin Aries and Kid Kash. Hulk eliminates King right away for being too new.

Bobby Roode v. Christian York

This is set up by Roode coming out for a promo, only to be interrupted by a revenge-seeking York, who is CALLING HIM OUT. Wait, where’s the evil GM to set this up? Don’t you have to have one of those? Roode takes him down off a headlock, but York puts him down with a shoulder for two, and Roode bails. York stops to ask the crowd and gets pulled out of the ring as a result, but recovers to send Roode into the stairs. Back in, York goes up and gets crotched by Roode, allowing him to take over. Snap suplex and Roode goes up, but he lands on York’s foot, and York makes the comeback. Faceplant and York goes up with a double-stomp to the back of Roode, and he follows with a rolling senton for two. Roode escapes York’s finish and tries the cradle suplex, but York cradles for two. Roode clobbers him from behind and applies the crossface, and York taps at 5:20. I think it would beneficial if York actually won a match at some point, but he continues to look like a star despite going 0-3 thus far. **1/4 But hey, if their plan is for York to be a credible threat that the main event guys can beat, there’s certainly worse things in life to be.

Meanwhile, Devon has an ultimatum for TNA: He wants his TV title back next week, or all hell breaks loose.

Christopher Daniels & Kazarian v. AJ Styles & James Storm

Storm gets a quick neckbreaker on Kaz and slugs away on Daniels, and it’s over to AJ for some subpar double-teaming, continuing his “bad luck” streak. The heels take over with a legdrop from Kaz and dropkick to send Styles back to his own corner, and Storm comes in to beat up the heels alone again. Storm with an enzuigiri on Kaz, but he blocks the backstabber and hits a springboard legdrop to make Storm your drunk-in-peril. Kaz with a slingshot legdrop and he goes to the chinlock, then follows with a leg lariat for two. The heels stop for some Gangnam Style, which allows Storm to make the hot tag to Styles. He runs wild and hits the suplex into neckbreaker on Daniels, but misses a dive onto Kazarian. Back in, the heels hit a nice double-team powerbomb/neckbreaker for two. AJ fights them off, but misses the Pele on Daniels. Storm tags himself in and finishes Daniels with the superkick at 7:50, however. So AJ continues to be a loser, even while winning. **1/2

Meanwhile, Hogan makes another elimination and then jumps right to giving the title shot to Austin Aries. OK then.

Matt Morgan v. Doug Williams

Morgan is now dressing like Thunderlips-era Hulk Hogan, although I don’t look for him to draw the same kind of money. Morgan of course completely destroys Williams, chokeslams him, and finishes with the Carbon Footprint at 2:12. ½*

Meanwhile, D-Lo offers to step in for the missing Al Snow in the Gut Check challenge, thus putting the fate of Wes Brisco in his hands. This leads to the Gut Check judging, as Bruce basically says that his match sucked last week, but he’s known him for long enough that he’ll vote yes. Taz just thinks the match sucked and votes no. Wes does his promo, and SHOCKINGLY D-Lo votes yes to put his fellow Aces & Eights member into TNA. The crowd seemingly has not figured out that both guys are behind the masks, which is pretty telling of them. The idea behind this plot twist is really clever, but it’s just so obvious where it’s going. Not to mention that the plan would have fallen apart if both other judges had voted “no”.

Meanwhile, Bully Ray thinks that Hulk is confusing business with personal.

X title: Rob Van Dam v. Austin Aries

Personally I would have put Christian York in this slot and switched the title. They trade wristlocks to start and Rob rolls him up with a scissor hold for two. Dropkick misses and Aries tries a slingshot senton, but hits knee and bails. Rob follows with a pescado and we take a break. Back with Rob hitting another dive, but missing the guillotine legdrop and landing on the railing. Aries gives him a neckbreaker over the railing, and sends him back in for two. Elbow to the neck gets two. Rob comes back with a kick in the corner, but Aries DDTs him for two. An Aries version of Rolling Thunder gets two and he goes up with his own frog splash, but that misses. Rob makes the comeback and hits his own Rolling Thunder, and the moonsault gets two. Aries puts him down with a rolling elbow, but Rob dropkicks him and goes up. Aries was faking, however, and sends Rob into the railing on a CRAZY bump, then grabs the microphone and cuts a promo instead of following up. His disparaging words about Brooke Hogan bring out Bully Ray for the attack and DQ at 12:24. That was quite the flat finish to a perfectly serviceable match. **3/4

The Pulse

This Hogan storyline is making Aces & Eights look well thought out. I’m supposed to buy Brooke & Bully as a couple? I’m supposed to care about Brooke in the first place and somehow think Austin Aries is a bad person after months of Brooke acting like a bigshot with no credentials of her own to back it up? No buys all around.

Weak storylines aside, this show had all good matches and no bad matches, which makes it an easy thumbs up despite the silliness of the main angle. Much like RAW, sometimes that’s enough.

Comments

  1. Thanks to Wes Brisco I finally believe in professional wrestling again.

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  2. "Meanwhile, Bully Ray thinks that Hulk is confusing business with personal."
    You don't say?

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  3. Even the shows where nothing of importance happens on Impact are far superior to RAW.


    I agree with Scott's thoughts about how Bully isn't believable in that role of Brooke's lover, but I'm kind of having a hard time thinking of who else could fill that role? I mean Aries would be interesting but I like him being the accuser(that line about the desk was fucking hilarious).

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  4. Weren't the Aces & Eights supposed to be some sort of big threat to the company or something? Does Hogan even care about them anymore? Does Bully Ray even care about Devon anymore? Does Joseph Park still exist?

    If the answer to all of the above is "no", then shouldn't they just scrap the A&8's angle completely?

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  5. Brooke is damaged goods. You wanna go somewhere that the Hulkster has felt up, brother?

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  6. Obviously AJ's in ring psychology was lost on you, or you just wanted a quick punchline..I thought he did a great job selling how unfocused he was,losing his timing in the ring(heighened by the announcer to good extent). Good show overall. Im not sure why people hurry so much to bury the bully ray storyline - romantic based feuds have always existed in the world of professional wrestling - its when WWE brings it to a whole new level of wrestlecrap, that people expect TNA to rid of such storylines altogether, even though most of the segments relating to it have been at least amusing(unlike the Cena- AJ fiasco).The storyline also makes sense in the first place, again - unlike Cena and AJ.

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  7. They are still a threat, as they are allowed in the impact zone.If you followed the show in recent weeks, you'd know about them taking out sting, magnus and EY in a brutal fashion. However, you cant expect the show to revolve around them every week. there is a slow burn here which most ADD fans cant wait so see unfold.

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  8. "Aries Knows Best!" Was better.

    Yeah but they show kinda sucks again without Aries as underdog face champ. Basically it just sucks with old stars and nobodies on top(Hardy,Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff)

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  9. Then why are you even? Just to tell us that

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  10. Thought it was a pretty good show. Main event was a def. highlight weak finish aside. Aries continues to be head and shoulders above the rest. TNA really needs to bring back Raven

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  11. Last night's show was very good. Anyone who thought it sucked is pretty clueless. So I have to give you a thumbs down.

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  12. actually, for a while there, you COULD expect the show to revolve around them every week.

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  13. actually, I find them eminently believable as a couple. Brooke looks really warn down for her age and bully liking trailer parky weird blondes totally fits with his general demeanor, NY aside.

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  14. If you told me that was Linda on the right, I wouldn't be shocked.

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  15. Nothing brings out the crazies like an Impact rant.

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  16. Even what, watching?

    I watched Michie James running to the ring, and Aries/Hogan/King etc office segment then I watched the Heat game honestly. Why did I get 10 thumbs down lol! Impact is just like WCW Saturday Night mixed with WOW to me. I don't get the fanboy stuff

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  17. And it did, for many weeks. Unless you are being wickedly sarcastic, i fail to understand what you mean..

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  18. Hm...so big storylines in both promotions: Vickie and Dolph are threatening to expose the Cena/AJ relationship because _______? and Austin Aries is threatening to expose the Bully Ray/Brooke Hogan relationship because ________? When one gets resolved the other one will also at the same time.

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  19. I may be a minority here, but I just don't buy Joey Ryan at all. Joey looks like he's trying way too hard to be all hipster and sleezy...everything with him comes off way too forced and just annoying all around.


    As for Brooke & Bully, I get the impression they're not actually a couple, but she's confiding something to him. Bully's "the real man in Brooke's life" line didn't seem self-referential, and he's just letting Hulk believe what he wants to b/c he's hurt that after all the A8 stuff he's still not trusted by anyone.

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  20. 17 thumbs down now...hahaha

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  21. Liked the show, other than wishing there were more Kenny King in it.



    Bully's not with Brooke; They'd do this differently were that so - why would they have a heel Aries be right and thus justified/the good guy? I'd have it be Morgan.

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  22. Did DeVon actually say he WANTS the TV title?

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  23. Raw was way better this week. DB vs Rey, Cena vs Ziggler, and Sheamus vs Cesaro were all over 3 stars. I'm wishing impact focused more on aries and roode as top guys but I'm just along for the ride with TNA

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  24. What is Aries threatening to expose? He already exposed their relationship.

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  25. It makes sense, he never actually lost the title.

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  26. I agree 100% with you about Joey Ryan. Him and Matt Morgan are the least interesting duo I have seen in a while.
    This show was okay I thought. The Aces & Eights stuff is going nowhere and the Bully Ray/Brooke stuff does nothing for me. They finally gave some time to the X Division but I really wish that they treated it like they did in the past, with lots of young, exciting wrestlers trying to make a name for themselves.

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  27. Hey, if you knew how often "final resolution of the Jewish question" was used in Nazi documents, you could have hated TNA for an entirely different reason, and for years now!

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  28. A title meaning something? WWE begs to differ. (I HATE smilies, so yes, this is sarcasm).

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  29. As a history student, this HAS to get a +1 from me. So damn wrong/right at the same time.

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  30. Two straight misses for me... then again I also missed the shitfest that was Saints at Falcons. Falling asleep at 5 PM sometimes sucks.

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  31. I'd love it if Aries was right and Bully is just trying to nail Brooke.

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  32. you might as well turn heel.

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  33. I agree on Joey Ryan, but I am LOVING Matt Morgan in this role. Good, convincing promos, great big-man offense.

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  34. I agree with almost your entire review, Scott, but the exception is the AJ match. He did a PHENOMENAL (pun somewhat intended) job of storytelling. At the risk of parroting the guy below, I thought that was some of the best in-ring acting/psychology I've seen in either company this year.

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  35. I am so SICK of wrestlers' motivations making sense.

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  36. Also awesome, but very important than Aries remain a complete asshole here. I'm squeamish about wrestlers going after family coming out smelling like a rose.

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  37. LOfuckingL at the three down votes. Please tell me how Raw with three killer matches and the debut of Jon Moxley on tv didn't out do this show. Remember when Bischoff was talking about he took over nitro he made a list of all the ways they could be different than raw? Why the fuck isn't he doing it with impact. Top babyface who half the crowd hates (but is awesome), check. Shitty soap opera storyline (with out chris daniels to save it), check. GM/Authority figure angles, check.

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  38. I don't know about anyone else here but I think A Brooke/Hulk incest angle doubles tna's ratings. I bet they could hit 1.5 easy, then use Aries and Roode to keep the viewers coming back. Book it Bruce.

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  39. I thought the Styles/Storm tag match had better storytelling than any of the matches on Raw.


    From a work perspective, I agree with you mostly, but Aries/RVD was as memorable as any of the Raw matches except Sheamus/Cesaro.


    And frankly I just liked the pacing of Impact far better, and the "shitty" TNA angles are better than the "shitty" Raw angles because I like the performers more.

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  40. If nothing else, it makes me imagine Vince bitching at Steph about why she couldn't be more like Hogan's skanky daughter and let him have his incest angle when he had the chance. I am wondering if there's a venn diagram of fans of fictional incest and wrestling that TNA could tap in to here, and if so, how many Arrested Development fans are in it.

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  41. I just logged on to add the total.

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  42. Well, it is at least less of a waste of time with Aries. So TNA wins the faint praise this time, I'd say.

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  43. Screw Brooke! When are Nick and Linda coming in?

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  44. So 30 thumbs down is the blog record now right?

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  45. All of Austin Aries anti Brooke lines are gold-reminiscent of the Jericho-Stephenie goodness of old

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  46. I mean for fucks sakes what happened
    d to good ol' fashioned not caring and smiling after someone losses a tittle

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  47. I honestly don't know how he got that many downvotes. I've seen way dumber posts on this blog not get that many.

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  48. Twas a thing of beauty really

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  49. Has anyone else found Taz extremely annoying since they initiated the three-man booth? He seems to either hate or fear Todd Kenneley, 'cause he's constantly cutting him off, undercutting his points and basically shitting on the product to put himself over the newbie. At first I thought maybe Taz was trying to transition into being the heel commentator when he chewed out Kenneley for sayiing York was looking "amazing" in the ring - but later in the AJ match Taz basically shit over the story of the match (AJ's form slump) when Todd questioned whether he can get himself back in the game and Taz just went off on one, ranting about how AJ's credentials and how it's stupid to doubt him. BUT THAT'S THE STORYLINE, TAZ.

    I dunno, it just seems to me that Taz may feel threatened that the new guy is already better than him and so is taking him down a peg, making the show worse at the same time.

    Also, put me down as someone who likes this AJ storyline. People always bitch about losing streak stories because they rarely end well or get people over and I think it's a fresh take to have a guy who's out of form but is still so great that he can occasionally win. It's much more interesting and creates more doubt in the outcome of his matches than if he just lost for six months before suddenly going undefeated in the BFG series next year or something.

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  50. I think Stevie Richards summed it up best: TNA is a indie fed with a TV deal...that's just the way it is,and always will be...everyone's going ga-ga over IMPACT on here,but i look at their ratings,which can't even beat out a re-run of ''Antique Roadshow'' on PBS,and their C-grade production and total bush-league presentation...yeaah,the shows have gotten better,but they really couldn't get MUCH worse...bottom line: WWE will ALWAYS be the majors,and TNA will be the minors...now,if TNA presented themselves as a alternative instead as ''snortcompetitionsnort'',they'd be better off in the long run...

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  51. Yeah but isn't he basically right?

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  52. Hey anytime you can scale back a push of the two of the hottest new stars in wrestling for a biker gang invasion angle and draw a .77 rating you gotta do it!

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  53. Wasn't he soet of right too?

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  54. It's gold jericho! Gold!

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  55. Taz should be threatened, he sucks.


    I don't mind the AJ storyline. I think they could do some fun things with it. I'd personally have AJ lose to Daniels and then the next few weeks, "Curry Man" and "Suicide" torment Kaz and Daniels.

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  56. No, ROH is an Indie fed with a TV deal, TNA's production values are fine, and their HD PPVs often come in clearer then the WWE's. TNA is MUCH smaller then the WWE, but calling it :the minors" doesn't work because how many TNA stars have jumped to WWE and been HUGELY Successful. contrast that number with how many RoH guys have gone on to huge success in either company, the Indy's are the minors

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  57. THAT would be hugely entertaining

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  58. Christ they actually dropped that low

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  59. No. They did a 1.0 rating for this past Thursday's show. I don' know what yhat other guy was talking about.

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  60. Biker gang was not on that show. It was the Thanksgiving gutcheck that got the bad rating. Then bounce back this past week.

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  61. Ok so they did a .77 and a 1.02. My apologies, they are obviously on fire. Whata great rating

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  62. Imo the only "minor league" thing about the actual presentation of tna is the impact zone, but frankly if it helps them keep a sustainable business model by being paid to do shows there as opposed to touring I'm glad they do it.

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  63. I was talking about the show last week, which did a .77, and you replied that it went up this week. So obviously you did know what this "other guy" was talking about. Don't worry bro, only 5 more days until you can watch garret bischoff and the hogan family on tv again.

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  64. In all seriousness though, do 32 people even watch tna?

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  65. And then everyone complained about all the A&8 stuff. Now we don't have them shoved down our throats and everyone complains we don't get enough of them. I really see Eric Bischoff's point about the internet fans.

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  66. Raw is simply a chore to sit through, while Impact seems to just fly by. Even the 3 'good' matches on RAW were not that good compared to AJ/Storm v Daniels/Kaz and the storylines on Impact are much more interesting. RAW is only going to get worse in the new year with the most overrated person ever returning, Rock, and everyone having to take a backseat to him and the returning Undertaker. Two guys who are not needed at Wrestlemania, but will get a majority of the hype.

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  67. That's why AJ is the centerpiece of the business right now. Easily the most talented and entertaining worker in any company.

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  68. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 5, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Jericho started getting all these corporate gigs, that Risk Management stuff killed, it killed!

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