WCW Worldwide 6/5/1993

Taped from only God knows where

Airdate: June 5, 1993

Hosted by Tony Schiavone and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Our monthly installment of WCW Worldwide from Classics On Demand involves the return of Sid Vicious as well as Johnny B. Badd as the guest of “A Flair for the Gold.” Also, a rematch for the WCW World Tag Team titles will take place between 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell and the Hollywood Blonds! Let’s dig in right now!

 

Match 1: “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes versus Shanghai Pierce (w/ Tex Slazenger)

Right off the bat Jesse has determined that Dustin looks “naked” without the US heavyweight championship belt. There’s a visual no one wanted. Slazenger and Pierce immediately try to double-team Rhodes. They whip Rhodes off the ropes, miss a clothesline, and receive the double clothesline from Dustin instead. Next Rhodes dropkicks Pierce out of the ring then clotheslines Slazenger over the top rope! We’re off to a hot start!

For those unfamiliar Pierce and Slazenger would reinvent themselves as Vince McMahon’s favorite hillbillies—the Godwinns. In addition Pierce is wearing a mask while Slazenger isn’t. A quick rope sequence culminates with a Rhodes’ shoulderblock and 2 count. Dustin works the arm as Jesse argues that Rude had his arm up a split-second sooner than Rhodes in their title match a few weeks ago. Ya gotta love Ventura’s penchant for Rude.

Another rope sequence ends with an attempted Bionic elbow by Dustin, but Pierce takes the high road to the corner instead. While Dustin works on Pierce’s arm Colonel Rob Parker disturbs Tony and Jesse while cutting a promo on Rhodes for his new protégé Sid Vicious. In the meantime another rope sequence sees Pierce drop an elbow on Rhodes. He slams Rhodes but misses the elbowdrop. Rhodes comes back with a couple of right hands and a face full of turnbuckle for Pierce.

A dropkick and elbow by Rhodes earn him a 2 count. Pierce goes to the eyes and then whips Rhodes off the ropes. Dustin reverses and sends Pierce into Slazenger on the apron. He then bulldogs Pierce and pins him. *

Whoa! Sayonara, Tony Gilliam! I wonder if Eric Bischoff fired him over the phone or via FedEx. Anyways, Gordon Solie is our NEW WCW Magazine correspondent. He begins describing the feud between Maxx Payne and Johnny B. Badd over the glitter gun. According to Solie the gun was given to Badd by his mother so it has tremendous sentimental value. Only in WCW, folks. Maxx Payne then cuts a promo. He refers to the glitter gun as the “party pooper.”

Tony and Jesse are on camera and promote the rematch between 2 Cold Scorpio, Marcus Bagwell, and the Hollywood Blonds. Jesse dismisses the computer with its involvement in the Computerized Contender’s Challenge and gives the accolades to the Hollywood Blonds as WCW’s best tag team. They then promote Badd’s appearance on “A Flair for the Gold.”

Match 2: Sid Vicious (w/ Colonel Rob Parker) versus Scott McKeever

Parker brings a gurney to the ring behind Sid. Jesse notes Sid’s disposition and compares it to Tony’s wife on Sunday morning. HA! Instantly Sid manhandles McKeever and gets the chokeslam in. While Sid behaves like a heel the crowd cheers him and chants his name. A powerbomb finishes this quickly for Sid. After the match Parker instructs the referee to assist McKeever to the gurney. However, once he is on the gurney Sid clotheslines him to the floor. DUD

Tony interviews Sid with Colonel Rob Parker at ringside. Without hesitation Sid calls out Ric Flair, Sting, Davey Boy Smith, and Van Hammer. Sid asks the question: “Who opened the gate to Hell and let Sid out?” Sid then temporarily morphs into Captain Obvious by informing us that Rob Parker is the gatekeeper.

Match 3: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat versus Joe Cazana

Upon his entrance Steamboat breathes fire! To start the match they lock up and Steamboat gets an immediate arm drag. While Steamboat maintains control with an arm bar, Jesse takes credit for the great broadcasts and blames Tony for the bad ones. A rope sequence culminates with a Steamboat hip toss and arm drag.

Meanwhile the Hollywood Blonds have invaded the broadcast booth. Austin chastises Steamboat about his age and dressing up “like some silly lizard.” While Pillman says nothing of note Steamboat quickly finishes off Cazana with a flying body press from the top rope. It should be noted that Jesse is in rare form for this broadcast. DUD

Tony takes us back to the highlight of Cactus Jack’s injury at Center Stage during his latest bout with Vader. That powerbomb on the concrete gets sicker and sicker upon future viewings. We return with Tony and Jesse on camera. Tony apologizes for the previous vague reports about Cactus Jack. He then states that Cactus Jack received a severe head injury.

We then get a correspondence report from Catherine White. Who? She informs us that Cactus Jack is no longer at the hospital and no one knows his whereabouts. She dictates that he has “serious psychological problems.” Suddenly a “patient” knows where Cactus Jack is, but he gives a deplorable “Rain Man” act instead. Our mentally-challenged actor mentions that Cactus Jack is in Cleveland.

He then retracts his statement by letting us know that Cactus Jack is in Atlantis and has gills now. He points Catherine to where Jack is. Catherine then tries to interview a guy on the basketball court. She calls him Jack, but then notices he’s not Cactus Jack. The guy proceeds to give a poor Jack Nicholson imitation. The comedy of the segment was WCW’s unintentional comedic acting here.

Match 4: World Television Champion “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff versus Rick Cannon

Tony warns us that next week WCW will attempt to go to Cactus Jack’s home to gather more information. To start the match Orndorff gives Cannon a back elbow off the ropes. He then clotheslines him to the floor. While the fans chant “Paula” at him he follows Cannon out and puts the boots to him before throwing him back into the ring.

Upon his re-entry Orndorff climbs the top turnbuckle and drives his elbow to the top of Cannon’s head. Next he gives Cannon a butterfly suplex. Afterwards he whips Cannon off the ropes and delivers a running dropkick. He signals for the piledriver and hits it for the pin. DUD

“A Flair for the Gold”

While wearing a Johnny B. Badd t-shirt and a ducktail hairdo Ric Flair makes his entrance. Double A is at the bar wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. Obviously it’s ‘50s week on “A Flair for the Gold.” Fifi gets to “walk that aisle” with the Nature Boy. Flair then introduces Johnny B. Badd.

Badd comes out with a pink boa and a backup glitter gun. He presents Flair with the boa in honor of all the sequined robes he wears to the ring. He then notifies us that he’s “so outrageous, it’s contagious.” Flair then asks him about the circumstances surrounding Maxx Payne and Norma Jean. Badd informs us that Payne stole his “first, the original, Badd Blaster that Mommy B. Badd gave to Baby B. Badd…” There’s some quality character development there, ladies and gentlemen.

Badd then informs Payne to “give it back or I will kick your booty with my Tutti Fruitti!” Fifi then brings Badd some “tutti fruitti taffy.” Badd then asks Flair if he can meet Fifi. Without hesitation Flair walks over to the bar and makes the official introduction. I would bet that Flair would not have done that with Rena. Badd pulls the “Kiss that don’t miss” sticker out but actually kisses Fifi on the cheek instead. AA then puts a 45 on the record player and everyone is dancing.

In our second installment of WCW Magazine Gordon Solie iterates that even though the US Heavyweight Championship is vacant “Ravishing” Rick Rude continues to hold onto the belt. Rude then cuts a promo about the belt and Dustin Rhodes. I truly wonder if Rude actually did break down Rhodes’ door and made his “old lady” cook him a T-bone steak (medium-rare) what he would truly think of Terri Runnels. Believe it or not he actually threatened him in this fashion.

Match 5 for the WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Hollywood Blonds (champions) versus 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell

As the Hollywood Blonds make their entrance Pillman opens and closes his clapperboard. Austin starts with Bagwell and rolls his imaginary camera at him. Bagwell evades the initial lockup and hooks a hammerlock. Upon his second escape attempt Austin elbows Bagwell in the head and tags in Pillman. Unfortunately for Pillman he walks right into an arm drag.

Scorpio tags in but Pillman gets the early advantage with a chop in the corner. A cross-corner whip is reversed by Scorpio, but Pillman backdrops Scorpio to the apron. A shoulderblock gives Scorpio some breathing room; however, a second one is blocked. Pillman then tries to ram his head into the turnbuckle, but Scorpio blocks and gives him one instead. Scorpio mounts the top turnbuckle and delivers a right hand to the head for a 2 count.

Bagwell tags in but gets punted after whipping Pillman off the ropes. Tony and Jesse mention Sylvester Stallone’s appearance on WCW Saturday Night. Austin tags in and gives Bagwell a vicious elbow to the mush off the ropes. After some forearm blows and a 1 count Pillman tags back in. He chokes Bagwell then antagonizes Scorpio to come in the ring.

In the meantime Tony plugs the June 17 Clash of the Champions and a match between the Hollywood Blonds versus “Nature Boy” Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. If anyone knows where I can locate this event I would be grateful and provide an excellent report. Anyways, back to the match. Pillman snapmares Bagwell and gets a 2 count. He then tags in Austin. We take a commercial break.

In a truly unique moment they actually show what happened DURING the break because Bagwell was injured after Austin dumped him on the steel railing at ringside. Bagwell received assistance returning to the dressing room; therefore, Scorpio has to face the champs all by himself. Scorpio wins a collar-and-elbow tie-up by shoving Austin straight into Pillman. He then rolls him up for 2.

When Austin takes a breather at ringside an old lady makes fun of him by imitating a chicken. HA! He returns to the ring and goes to work on Scorpio. Next he cross-corner whips Scorpio but receives a headscissors takedown for his troubles. Austin sprints to his corner to tag in Pillman. Instantly Scorpio delivers a hiptoss to Pillman.

Scorpio works on Pillman’s arm until he is thrown into the corner for an Austin right hand. The champs tag in and out while they work on Scorpio in their corner. At the same time the crowd chants “Scorpio.” While Austin distracts the referee Pillman chokes Scorpio out with the towel. Austin covers him for a 2 count then while getting his head toweled off by Pillman he stands on Scorpio’s throat. Great heel work here!

Pillman tags back in and attempts to give Scorpio a back body drop off the ropes, but Scorpio counters and drives Pillman’s head to the mat instead. Austin tags back in. He whips Scorpio off the ropes, misses a clothesline, and gives him a back body drop. After rolling his imaginary camera at him he gets a 2 count. Next he gives Scorpio a modified gourdbuster and tags in Pillman.

Brian lays in the badmouth to Scorpio then tags in Austin again. Austin whips him off the ropes, but Scorpio leapfrogs him and nails Pillman on the apron. He then gives Austin a belly-to-back suplex and mounts the top turnbuckle. He hits the inverted splash, but Pillman makes the save off the top rope.

The referee calls for the bell, and Jesse rightfully asks why. Obviously the Blonds have been disqualified which is a crappy finish to an otherwise good match. Arn Anderson hits the ring and delivers left hands to each of the champions. He then gives each of them a DDT. The Blonds seize control until Ric Flair hits the ring! He chases the Blonds back to the dressing room as we’re outta time! ***

Wow! This episode was extremely exciting! While the opening match appeared to be a jobber match it had the flavor of a midcard match which is refreshing for this program. The “interruptions” initially by Colonel Parker and subsequently by the Hollywood Blonds were also a refreshing change. The unintentional comedy by WCW with the Cactus Jack stuff is laughable at best. I’m sure next month’s episode will contain more hijinks.

While “A Flair for the Gold” was better than the previous episode it wasn’t noteworthy. However, the tag title match was truly exciting. When Bagwell left the match it appeared that it would become a handicap match. Instead Scorpio knew when to make his comeback and the Horseman run-in at the end made the end of the show amazing. Why did the Horsemen run in you ask? Check out “A Flare for the Old” here.

I can’t wait until next month’s episode to see what happens next! Stay tuned to more WCW Worldwide reviews from your resident Rock Star in the coming weeks!

Be sure to visit http://www.rockstargary.com to check out more info on me!