Welcome, ladies & gentlemen. Here, is the only way a beef can be solved. Inside the ring, at The BoD.
Princess: Scott, I agree. I'd like to see a clean fight, but it's something I don't think we'll get.
Brian: Coming down the isle, standing at 6 foot 4, and weighing 230lbs, he's the self-proclaimed #1 Draw at the BoD, he is THE FUJ!
The PPV channel unscrambles finally, as
it's time for the match-up the BoD has been waiting to see. The Fuj
vs Caliber Winfield.
The show opens up to show Scott Keith &
The Princess in respective formal wear, standing in front of a green
screen that shows the crowd, like the WWE use to do in the old days.
SK: Well, it's taken a while for us to
reach this point, Princess, but I think the wait was worth it. I've
been drinking since 9am, and amazingly the alcohol has raised my
interest for the match.
Princess: Scott, I agree. I'd like to see a clean fight, but it's something I don't think we'll get.
SK: Of course, we're trending world
wide! And don't forget the BoD app on your phones! And don't forget
to Tout whose side you're on! And don't forget we're trending!
Princess: We're really trending on
Twitter?
SK: What's Twitter? Who cares. This
match up has been building for months, with Caliber & Fuj taking
jabs at one another in different places around the BoD, before almost
coming to blows in the Canadian Stampede thread. I think Bret would
be proud. Oh, Bret....
Princess: Are you tearing up?
SK: It's just...I never got to tell him
that he was the greatest wrestler I've ever seen.
Princess: He's not dead. You could
still tell him.
SK: Far too much effort. Let's get down
to ringside!
The camera cuts to the ring inside BoD
Studios. We see the crowd filled with familiar faces. Cap Locks Man
holds up a sign that says “THIS SIGN IS IN ALL CAPS”. The front
row is filled with all the luminaries from the BoD; Cultstatus,
Jobber, xanadude, Adam Curry, Scotty Flamingo, and a host of others.
They talk amongst each other until “Why Cant We Be Friends” by
WAR plays over the PA system, signaling the arrival...
Ring Announcer Ryan Murphy: andj
comminh done the iasdle is....*throws up*
Brian Bayless runs up to grab the
microphone, and you can hear bits & pieces of their struggle over
the PA:
Ryan: I'm NOT drunkkek! LIAR!
Brian: Give it too--
Ryan finally passes out and is set
under the ring side. The janitor, Phredric is thankfully at ringside
and able to clean up the vomit. While the song still plays, Brian
takes up announcing duties:
Brian: Coming down the asile,
accompanied by his protege Sebastian Howard, he stands 5 foot 9, and he weighs in at a solid
249lbs, the man who is known as the John Cena of the BoD, he's
dashing, he's extremely handsome, he's Caaaalliiiibeerrrr WINFIELD!
The camera pans to the wrestler's
entrance. It's similar to the original Attitude Era design, but with
the letters BoD on each side, like the original Nitro set. The ramp
goes from the entrance, to the ring, about 4 feet off the ground.
Just then, Sebastian Howard comes
through the curtains as he does a 180 and does the “finger point
gun thing” that Buff use to do. Then from the curtain emerges
Caliber Winfield. He's wearing jeans, and a t-shirt with the word
“BONER” on it. It'd be a simple outfit if not for the red cape.
He and Sebastian saunter down to the ring. Caliber with his chest
puffed out, stops to jaw-jack with a couple fans sitting ringside.
Cultstatus: You blow, Winfield!
Caliber: HEY! You...uh....dammit,
Sebastian, defend me!
Sebastian: You don't talk to Caliber
like that! He'll tell Scott on you, and you could possibly get
banned, MISTER!
Caliber gives Cult a smug look of satisfaction. Then does the finger-point thing to Steven Ferrari, trusted editor whom Caliber met after his plane nose-dived into Parts Unknown.
Caliber gives Cult a smug look of satisfaction. Then does the finger-point thing to Steven Ferrari, trusted editor whom Caliber met after his plane nose-dived into Parts Unknown.
They finally make it to the ring where
Caliber does a simple, yet glorious twirl. He stands up with his arms
out-stretched in a Jericho-like pose as Sebastian takes off his robe
and hands it to the guy outside, making sure to do the warning
towards him like Razor did with his gold. They stand on one side of
the ring as Sebastian holds up his hands, giving Caliber a place to
aim as he warms up with jabs.
WAR ends and The Misfits begin with
“Kong At The Gates”.
Brian: Coming down the isle, standing at 6 foot 4, and weighing 230lbs, he's the self-proclaimed #1 Draw at the BoD, he is THE FUJ!
A determined looking Fuj, wearing a classic
wrestling singlet, comes through the curtains with a Japanese flag
that has “Cleveland” written on the bottom. The crowd is mostly
cheers, and we see Adam Curry out in the crowd with a “this guy
gets it” sign, which just so happens to be next to Wanker's sign of
“Insert sperm joke here”. Fuj takes in the crowd for a moment
before heading to the ring. Once in he sets his flag down and merely
stands in the corner, waiting for the bell. Caliber & Sebastian
converse for a moment before Sebastian heads out to ringside.
Finally, the ref Thomas Hall calls both Fuj & Caliber to the
center of the ring to explain the rules. Before the bell can ring,
Fuj extends a hand in a show of good sportsmanship. Naturally,
Caliber accepts it because they're facebook besties, however, since
it's before the bell, Caliber is the recipient of...
THE SALT IN THE EYE!
The bell rings as Caliber staggers
backwards, just as The Fuj clocks him in the face with a
bone-rattling right hook. From the ringside we hear Sebastian yell
“REMEMBER BLOODSPORT! DO WHAT VAN DAMME DID!”. Caliber is in such
pain that he can't remember what JCVD did, he hopes it was scream,
because that's what he did as Fuj stomped the hell out of him. He
picks up Caliber for a back suplex, and begins to do the Hollywood
Hogan style of choke. He picks up Caliber and throws him outside, in
order to stand in the ring and soak up the cheers, after having made
such light work of his opponent. Sebastian rushes to Caliber's side
and begs him to get up, telling him to remember that line from Rocky
5 where Mick tells Rocky that the gloves will be like an angel on
your shoulder, screaming GET UP! Caliber makes it to his feet,
climbing up to the ropes where he's greeted with a knee to the gut
and a short-cut back into the ring via a suplex. Fuj goes for the pin
but it only scores a two. Fuj goes for a neck vice, but Caliber
fights out of it only to catch a neckbreaker from Fuj, that again
only gets a two count. He places Caliber into the corner and whips
him into the other, taking full charge and crushing him into the
turnbuckle, causing him to collapse like a house of cards. Fuj thumps
his chest and screams at the hard camera “THIS GUY GETS IT!”. As
Fuj comes back to Caliber, who's up to one knee, he doubles over as
Winfield strikes out with a shot to the gut. A European uppercut
follows as Caliber gets to his feet, followed by a short-arm
clothesline, taking Fuj down to the mat for the first time. Roll get
up gets a 1, so Caliber tries a german suplex that earns him a two
count. Irish whip off the ropes as Fuj ducks Caliber's clothesline,
stops right behind him and bulldogs him to the ground. Fuj goes for a
double-under-hook suplex but Caliber elbows out, so instead Fuj gives
him an inverted DDT for his troubles. Fuj lays the boots to Caliber
before deciding to head to the top-rope. Once there he tries a flying
cross body that finds it's target, only Caliber is able to roll Fuj
up for 2. Caliber then serves up some elbows in the corner before
snapmaring Fuj into the center of the ring. He hits a 2nd
rope splash before going for the pin, still only getting a two.
Sebastian grabs a chair and offers it to Caliber, only for Thomas to
tell him “Yeah fucking right” and makes Sebastian set it back
down, he does, but of course it's within reach. While the ref is
distracted, Fuj unties the turnbuckle pads and sends Caliber crashing
into it with a slingshot, busting him wide open. Fuj sees to it an
all out effort to make it worse as he drops knees & elbows on the
laceration, covering himself in a good portion of Caliber's blood. He
smears some on his chest as if to say “big fucking deal”. Back
up, a piledriver gets a 2 and a half, at which point Fuj is getting a
bit frustrated. At this point, he sets Caliber up for another King
Kong Bundy Avalanche, but as he's about to take off, Dougie jumps the
rail and grabs his foot. Fuj turns around and delivers a boot to his
face, as the ref & security make sure he's thrown out. With the
ref distracted, Caliber grabs the chair from Sebastian and tries to
take Fuj's head off with it, instantly splitting him open. He runs
Fuj off the ropes and nails him with The Roaring Elbow, which Caliber
has loving dubbed The Roaring Boner. He pins the Fuj as the ref runs
in and counts ONE, TWO, THRE---but it's not to be as Fuj throws his
shoulder up at the last second, causing Caliber to spit out an
endless stream of obscenities. He picks up Fuj and puts him back down
with a Scott Norton style powerbomb, and seals the deal with leg
drop. He pins Fuj in a cocky-manner by laying on him as if he were
watching TV and using Fuj as a pillow. The ref hits 2 just as Fuj
hooks Caliber's arms with his own arm and leg, pulling Caliber over
into a pin. The crowd roars as the ref counts 2 and a half. Caliber
stands up, pissed off at almost losing in such a stupid way and lays
the boots again to Fuj. He sets Fuj up, like Warrior did to Macho at
WM7, and gets ready for another Roaring Boner, However, just before
he lands it The Fuj grabs the ref, and lets him absorb the blow,
sending all three to the mat. With the ref out, Caliber stands up and
waves his hand towards the back to get another. At this point,
Sebastian gets into the ring to offer up some help in leveling The
Fuj. First, Caliber places his foot on Fuj's chest and has Sebastian
take a picture. He tells Sebastian to go get another chair so they
can preform a Con-Chair-To and end this blasted thing. He agrees and
runs to get one. Caliber slaps around the ref in order to make sure
he's awake for the 3 count, and as he stands up to see if Sebastian's
ready, he's bind-sided as a chair comes and crushes his face.
Sebastian stands proudly over Caliber's body, laughing to himself as
he levels a few more blows. Fuj stands up and asks for the mic, he
points to Sebastian “this guy gets it”, as Sebastian takes a bow
and leaves. Fuj knows Caliber is gone, but it isn't good enough as he
drags him to the corner and executes a Shooting Star Leg Drop.
Pulling the ref over to the puddle of blood that was once Caliber,
Fuj puts one finger on his chest as the ref counts three.
A good chunk of the crowd
cheers as Fuj gives them the bird. He walks to the camera and states
“I told you, Keith, I'm your NUMBER. ONE. DRAW”
Me and Fuj, our feud wasn't real. We put it on and thought it'd be funny if it lead to something ridiculous like this. So, please, try and prevent yourself from thinking this is legit or anything.
Me and Fuj, our feud wasn't real. We put it on and thought it'd be funny if it lead to something ridiculous like this. So, please, try and prevent yourself from thinking this is legit or anything.
Cringe
ReplyDelete**1/4
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the person who wrote this doesn't have anything that would be considered "gainful employment".
ReplyDeleteFor someone who thinks Fuj doesn't matter, you sure put an awful lot of effort into this.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing between me and Fuj was a work. He's drawing the cover of my next e-book. People thought we were really feuding, so we decided to ramp it up. I know that's breaking kayfabe, but oh wellski.
ReplyDeleteTwo things. A) No parallax1978 mention = no buys B) Seriously I know this was probably fun for you and it isn't for me to judge... but this was kind of sad... I suggest taking a break from the BoD for a while and see what else there is out there.
ReplyDeleteAND THIS HELPS YOU HOW?
ReplyDeleteBECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOUR STUFF AT ALL AND THAT'S A SHOOT
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, will we get that scene from Man on the Moon where someone is talking to some people about the whole mess they've been causing, and the camera will pull back to reveal both Lawler and Kaufman talking about their angle?
ReplyDeleteI was interested up until the match started. Then I skipped to the end. The potential was there, but it just didn't live up to the hype for me.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I think me and Jobber would be out back getting high and arguing about whether Tebow is any good rather than bothering with any of this.
ReplyDeleteHell hath no fury like a black man's scorn (Fuj) for a wrestling review.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. And at least get us some tickets for the luxury suite skybox with a nice buffet and full bar. Why do we have to sit out in the crowd with the ham-n-eggers?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing. Not so much that he doesn't have gainful employment, but that it must be nice to be able to devote time to something like this.
ReplyDeleteBetween work and entertaining a 1-yr old my free time amounts to maybe an hour a night, 2 if I willing to sacrifice sleep.
You know it was just fucking around, right? I mean, if I seriously had a beef with Fuj, and typed this up as a way of "venting", that'd probably be the saddest thing in history.
ReplyDeleteYou can't put over the Fuj like that. If you thought Hogan's ego was bad, just you fucking wait! 15 years from now, Fuj will be "the number one draw" on the sinking ship of the Blog of Total Nonstop Armageddon. I cansee him now: commenting with a colostomy bag and arguing that his sex tape with Caliber wasn't a work.
ReplyDeleteAh, c'mon! You guys got those neat little seats to take home. You also got to come back stage and rub elbows with the celebs, and you even scored KoKo B. Ware's autograph. I'd say it's a good day for the Jobber.
ReplyDeleteGood time to remind kids reading, to stay in school... otherwise... y'know....
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is did Bundy make an appearance?
ReplyDeleteOr say your prayers, eat your vitamins and...Drink Your Milk!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm not sure having time for something like this would be what you call nice. Scary, maybe. But not nice.
ReplyDeleteHow was that a good day for KoKo?
ReplyDeleteEh, needs more elvylanda. ;)
ReplyDeleteNah, just kidding. I enjoyed it and would be interested in future matchups in the...whatever this federation is called.
So was that a face-turn for Sebastian? I'm not sure who the heel in the match was meant to be.
....
ReplyDeleteCold bloooodeeed....
ReplyDeleteOh by no means am I suggesting if I had extra time that I would spend it doing something like that.
ReplyDeleteI was just saying having some extra time would be nice. Haha
I kind of looked at it like Fuj and I are both heels. We both have our detractors and friends. Even though I try to be a face, my match ratings get me booed.
ReplyDeleteNope. FUCK you for not including me. Fuck you and your booking for your buddies. There is basically a Klique on the BoD.
ReplyDeleteLeft you speechless eh?
ReplyDeleteLook, Parallax1978, this is the WRESTLING business, not the FRIENDSHIP business!
ReplyDeleteDid Charlie Reneke write this?
ReplyDeleteSO YOU'RE JOHN CENA
ReplyDeleteNo offense man, I wasn't trying to dig at you personally. I do have to wonder though about your usage of free time.
ReplyDeleteI think he's off in Parts Unknown.
ReplyDeleteThis was, and probably forever will be, the greatest single thing I've ever read. I'm hoping for a sequel featuring someone getting 'Baked'. Awesome stuff Caliber (and Fuj if you contributed)
ReplyDelete72 hot pokers.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I didn't take offense. I assume you get I was referencing what Rick James said after he punched Charlie Murphy.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, this took me 15 minutes to write.
It is funny how people view other's use of free time. Like with me, I can't understand those who spend hours a day playing video games. I would feel like I just threw away a bunch of time. But, if you're enjoying what you do, then your time isn't wasted.
You want someone to get stoned, or burned alive?
ReplyDeleteI can work better than anyone on this blog, and I am above average on the stick... you are just holding me down to protect your spot!
ReplyDeleteNah the Jesse style, I forgot that could mean different things :P
ReplyDeleteSad.
ReplyDeleteI agree. If you are doing something you value with your time then its not time wasted. So if you enjoy playing video games, drinking, writing on a blog, etc etc then spending your time doing so shouldn't be considered a waste of time. At least not to the individual doing it.
ReplyDeleteI don't even want to know what this is.
ReplyDeleteParallax, I've come to this forum WITH TEARS IN MY EYES to tell you that you are the best poster I've ever read. Caliber isn't even one of the top 1000 posters on the blog.
ReplyDeleteI concur. It's not my place to judge. I just had to be honest, my comment was the first thing that popped in my mind after scrolling through this. Good on you if you're using your free time doing something you enjoy.
ReplyDeleteThoughts...
ReplyDelete-This was a nice little love letter to the BoD. I enjoyed it.
-Would've been better if Sebastian took off his shirt to reveal a Cracked.com shirt instead.
-I'm telling you... I'm the Tyson Kidd or Primo of this blog... gimmickless and forgotten
-Needed more dastardly Dougie continually making run-ins to piss people off much like he does in the comments section
-Chin Chandango needed to be ringside with his kids, preferably ignoring them
-Not sure if they were in there or not and I missed them, but Flair4DaGold and Nwa88 definitely needed to be timekeepers...they are our resident statisticians
-Cult needed more lines as he is basically our host for live threads
There's always a room for a sequel, though. Appreciate the effort.
Bravo.
ReplyDeleteCant we just all agree that Cena/Edge/Show from WM25 is greater than any main event ever put on by NWA? Or that WM26 is the single greatest show ever brought to our televisions?
ReplyDeleteI had no idea this "feud" was a thing or Russo-riffic worked shoot, though. I just enjoyed the story for what it was.
ReplyDeleteYeah! Caliber you need to hold down parallax1978 on your stick so he can work the spot! You tell him, buddy!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't even considered the fact that this had Russo esque fingerprints all over it.
ReplyDeleteBut now that you've mentioned it I can't believe I didn't see it myself.
I find your views intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
ReplyDeleteFolks, this one has bowling shoe qualities.
ReplyDeleteHijacking this thread to post this. HHH's dream is now compete. Steph now = Chyna.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tmz.com/2013/05/01/stephanie-mcmahon-mom-mother-muscles-photo-pics/#ixzz2S4cfY3fP
You let me down man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
ReplyDeleteBut is her clit inside out like Chyna's?
ReplyDeleteHRRUMMPPPTHHH!
I just threw up a little in my mouth! I'm sorry!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE TRYING TO CALL US GHEY BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteThat was impression of the fans at a Pirates game... utter silence since they have nothing to cheer for!
ReplyDeleteJeeepers. Remember when Steph was skinny and cute, and got attention because she was the most natural girl on TV at the time?
ReplyDeleteI guess someone had to go there
ReplyDeleteHow Jim Ross of you!
ReplyDeleteAnd is using a SLEDGEHAMMER
ReplyDeleteI kinda enjoyed this in a super cheesy sorta way.
ReplyDeleteCaliber, I propose, if you have it in you, a BoD Royal Rumble. This way, you can feature more BoD personalities and have a good time with them in your prose.
She has the creepiest smile. Like how I imagine a robot would try and fake it.
ReplyDeleteI'm impresed
ReplyDeleteI was trying to score :(
ReplyDeleteI was literally thinking along the same lines. She does have a creepy smile. It seems over the top and forced. Then when you think of who her father is and how much of a creep he's been it all kinda comes together.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I pictured this while reading that. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maixrvcjQV1qzbw6oo1_500.png
ReplyDeleteIf at first you don't succeed try try again
ReplyDelete2001-2002 Steph is on my all-time top-five wrestling chicks list. This Steph? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteDerek Burgan used to do the IWC battle royal. Those were kinda funny
ReplyDeleteI'd still hit it and so would the rest of you.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time I used to think she was actractive. She does look very unnatural now.
ReplyDeleteWell uh yeah you got me there
ReplyDeleteAt least the right guy went over even though this is pretty much HHH vs Heath Slater when it comes to this blog....sorry, Im a Fuj guy....
ReplyDeleteOuch! Heath Slater? At this point I'd put Caliber in the Kane role. Not quite main eventer, but a solid enough hand that he'll always dabble with the top guys.
ReplyDeleteThis is not an insult by the way. I've always enjoyed Kane.
I like how I am the substitute ring announcer. It's like being a second string punter.
ReplyDeleteIf we are talking Kane, Caliber more of a Katie Vick type....
ReplyDelete...and yes, I also have enjoyed the work of Kane. Kane is far more entertaining than his "brother" in my opinion...
I'm with you on enjoying the work of Kane more than the Undertaker. In fact I'm surprised that he's lasted this long. Given the type of character he was to portray I wouldn't have guessed he'd still be around 15+ years later.
ReplyDeleteI like that they fleshed out what shouldve been a one dimensional character and gave him a sense of humor while still being a credible killer big man.....
ReplyDeleteMore of the same, part of the problem.
ReplyDeleteBut this was kinda amusing, so I tip my cap to you, sir.
We used to have RSPW Rumbles and KotR all the time. Of course voting would get wonky and a certain someone in the mid-west would always raise a stink and take the fun out of the entire thing.
ReplyDeleteAs I commented in the 411 article, look for AJ Grey to post all the pics with really creepy lecherous comments.
ReplyDeleteHHH did. And X-Pac. They both came and went.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who lives in Pittsburgh...
ReplyDeleteI don't care about the Bucs.
Somebody upload this so I can download it.
ReplyDeleteNo shit. And come to think of it, shouldn't I get a press pass or something so I can hang out backstage?
ReplyDeleteI was a big fan of Burgan's work.
ReplyDeleteI was too. Now he reviews theme parks.
ReplyDeleteThat was more painful than a HHH 2003 match.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I got the Press Pass. They needed me to rewrite and edit the book.
ReplyDeleteBravo! Well done, sir.
ReplyDeleteOk, will you two just bang and get it over with?
ReplyDeleteive offered several times...
ReplyDeleteall i got was a restraining order.
Have you seen her? She'd hit you, not the other way round.
ReplyDeleteSome of yall take things way too serious.
ReplyDeleteI found it hilarious. I thought he incorporated the main players of the BoD well. Even through a shout-out to some of the johnny come latelys and ham n eggers.
Its very true, im not a fan of Caliber when it comes to wrestling, but this was to show and illustrate how people get on blogs and such about the subjectivity of star ratings and everything. I also wanted to conduct a lil social experiment on my own.
We just decided to kick it up a notch and see where it would go.
I found it amusing that back in the day when Michael Bradley would do the IMpact reviews, ELvy would profess that it was the greatest thing ever and he would get chastised for it. The posters would rip into him and Bradleys hit count would go up.
After a while it became he went from 10-20 posts to like 100+. It wasnt that he became a better writer. Elvy was the draw. You knew come friday, he was gonna be as entertaining and trollish as he could be. But a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, people started actually liking Michael Bradleys reviews. Sure he got a little better but it wasnt the second coming of Keith or Dunn...
And then here goes Caliber. laughing stock of the BoD as far as reviewers goes. Cracked debacle and all that. I figured let me see if the same thing could be done.
Sure enough, he went from 20-30 posts to 100+. And as well, people started actually giving him props.... or coming out and seconding his opinion, that normally would be shit upon. He never really got better. I think its more of a case that people are anti-Fuj (and thats fine) and would side with Cal and would be more inclined to see his POV.
Then theres the people that are anti-caliber (fine as well) and would be more inclined to see my POV of calling him a hack.
Then there are those who are anti-Fuj&Cal but are compelled to post because they have to wedge themselves in somehow, someway (,,,, lol)
What would have been intriguing is if I go on vacation and not post here during. Calibe takes pot shots at me here and there, kinda like Austin did Bret during the summer of 96, and slowly the people started siding with Austin as he was pointing out his foibles and running him down without a forum to express himself. I'd like to see if that would have happened as well.
Janitor? Sweet, I have a pension and health insurance and am unionized.
ReplyDeleteTouche.
ReplyDelete...and Vince finally got the son he always wanted.
ReplyDeletei aint even gonna lie...
ReplyDeleteI'd beat it up.
I'd beat it up in the worst way.
I mean, she look like her daddy... but thats why doggie style was invented.
Im just sayin.
hear hear. She may be built, but she's got a great ass and awesome legs.
ReplyDeleteIf I wanted to see mastabatory booking I'd watch WWE, I don't need it on the BOD
ReplyDeleteIt appears that years of HHH pumping Steph full of steroid-laden baby gravy has had a unforeseen side effect.
ReplyDeleteI heard Aurora is already benching 200 lbs.
That wasn't on the format sheet, fans!
ReplyDeleteAnd kids, that's how TheBigO84 was convicted of rape.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me? You think I would actually puke? What am I, in sixth grade? Caliber, when the BoD Royal Rumble comes around, when you hear the strains of "Barroom Hero" by Dropkick Murphys fill the arena, you better hope for a quick elimination, because I'm comin after YOU nugga!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I thought it did a good job incorporating those on the blog. Speaking for myself, I am on the "B" team as far as reviewers are concerned. I write about stuff that most people either forgot or have never seen. My stuff probably gets the least amount of comments.
ReplyDeleteInsert video promo: Soon, my children...soon. You all have only seen a small portion of the power I wield. The day is coming. The day is coming where you will all drop to your knees, and pray....pray at the River Jordan. (fade to black). *pray*
ReplyDeleteThis blog brings out the inner geek in me. Nicely done.
The greatest night in the history of this business.
ReplyDeleteYou know where you fucked up? You called Cal out for defending WCW circa 2000, yet I've read posts of his that describe Russo as Satan incarnate. It made me raise an eyebrow.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, you had me going and thinking that you had polished off a six pack in a bad mood, and decided to make an example out of him.
By the way, I have nothing against you, but your supporters/perpetual upvoters make me sick. They're like KISS fans.
I don't JUST do ejaculate jokes, you fucking cum eater!
ReplyDelete...you would think you got "levels better"...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if the turn was a little obvious, I mean he did force me to review Nitro's from 2000.
ReplyDeletePeople on a wrestling blog taking things too seriously?
ReplyDeleteNawwww....
But means you have to work with Ken Shamrock, Mick Foley, Big Show, and Test all day long. And yes I know Test is dead, but they prop him up in the corner and pocket his insurance benefits.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean nigga?
ReplyDeleteI've heard Mick and Show are nice guys.
ReplyDeleteAnd who didn't like Weekend at Bernie's?
Such drivel that can only come from the mind of Caliber Winfield.
ReplyDeleteNope. If I did I woulda said nigga. But that's how Booker said it that one time. And your gimmick of correcting people for being pc is getting REALLY tired and trollish. Find a new act or else we got nothin for ya kid.
ReplyDeleteDo we really confuse personality for gimmick here? Kinda retarded.
ReplyDeleteYour personality is to say nothing except correcting people for not using enough offensive terms? Bet you're a riot at parties.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though. Get hepatitis.
Too late. Offensive terms?? You're using offensive terms but you're dressing them up to not SEEM offensive. Nugga? Dude anyone with 1/2 brain knows what you were saying. Swapping out an "I" for a "u" does not disguise the word, just makes you passively aggressively full of shit. You're a grown man (you are, right?) say what you mean and cut the shit.
ReplyDeleteAnd the personality? Its more about not letting people bullshit me or themselves. And hepatitis is hard to live with, but I get by. All without pretending to be drunk, too!