The SmarK RAW Rant – 07.22.13
Live from Austin, TX
Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & JBL
Mailbag time:
“Hey Scott;
Long time/First time... I think.
Last Friday on SD, ADR (a champ) has to job clean to MITB winner Randy Orton. Is it at all possible we are seeing something being set up for Orton/ADR at SummerSlam where Orton takes the World Heavyweight title while still holding the contract for the WWE title setting up a champion vs champion down the road that actually means something instead of having it done for free on TV? Unification even?”
I think that, much like everything else, they’re just putting shit on the shows to fill time and nothing means anything. Nice thought, though.
Brad Maddox starts us out with the contract signing for Cena v. Bryan. Maddox asks Cena the hard questions about Daniel Bryan and his many flaws (Crowd: “Boo.” Cena: “Let him talk, this is Monday Night RAW.” Me: “I love shoot comment that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments.”) This is hard for me to say, so I’m just gonna come right out with it: The new WWE title belt is pretty awesome. There, I said it. Anyway, Daniel Bryan comes out to defend himself, and after Cena cuts his promo, Maddox cuts off Bryan’s response because he’s BIASED. And then he books Bryan in multiple matches tonight, which has Cena looking disappointed.
Alberto Del Rio v. Sheamus
Sheamus is sporting a NASTY bruise on his leg, and thankfully ADR goes right for it because he’s not a moron. Sheamus pounds him in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two, but Del Rio puts him down with a cheapshot. Sheamus suplexes him for two, but Del Rio tries a hanging armbar off the top before getting knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio continuing on the leg, but Sheamus comes back with a kneelift for two. Del Rio with a backstabber for two. He chokes away, but misses a charge and Sheamus comes back with the forearms. Backbreaker gets two, but he goes up and Del Rio brings him down with an enzuigiri for two. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio goes after the leg again, but Sheamus goes for White Noise and Del Rio hits the leg and pins him at 14:00. This was just as dull as every other match they had last year. **1/2
Meanwhile, Booker T and Teddy Long get into an argument and Teddy storms off.
Titus O’Neil v. Christian
Titus throws Christian around and tosses him for some abuse by Young, then tosses him back in for two. Legdrop gets two. Titus stomps away in the corner while blowing his whistle, which is kind of a weird spot. Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for two and stops to get rid of Young, but walks into a big boot from Titus that gets two. Killswitch finishes at 4:35, however. *1/2
Mark Henry, proud Texan, would like the Shield to know he’s right here. So they oblige with another beatdown, but this time the Usos make the save. So that’s fine.
Dolph Ziggler v. Darren Young
Ziggler gets a dropkick for two, but Young puts him down with a clothesline for two and hits the chinlock. Young hits his finish for two, but stops to argue and Dolph Zig Zags him to finish at 4:20. * This brings out Big E for another attack, but Dolph runs away this time.
MizTV features the cast of Total Divas. Oh, is that the fast forward button? I think it is.
Meanwhile, HHH puts Daniel Bryan over (now there’s a sentence I thought I’d never type) and lets Maddox know which team he should be siding with.
Fandango v. Cody Rhodes
Fandango does some dancing and walks into a dropkick, and Cody follows with a knee to the head for two. Fandango comes back with a clothesline from the apron and gets two. Back elbow gets two. Fandango holds a chinlock, but Cody goes up with a moonsault that looked like it crushed Fandango’s face. That was not good. Sandow gets involved and Cody finishes Fandango with the crossroads at 4:14. *1/2
CM Punk joins us to give WWE.com their headline: “I Am Not Afraid of Brock Lesnar”. I feel like that one needs Leslie Knope to come up with an alternate subheading. Punk then offers a heading for Summerslam: The Best v. The Beast. I like it! Print it! Paul Heyman shows live via satellite and that’s got Punk upset. Heyman really rubs it in by calling Brock his BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, and that’s the end of it.
Rob Van Dam v. Wade Barrett
Rob puts him down with a spinkick, but gets hauled to the floor as Barrett quickly takes over. He throws knees on the ropes, that gets two. Chinlock time, but RVD fights back with a kick out of the corner and finishes with the frog splash at 4:13. This finally woke up the crowd. *1/2
Daniel Bryan v. Jack Swagger
Swagger attacks and puts Bryan down, but Bryan dropkicks him out and follows with the dive, which Swagger blocks. Back in, the Swaggerbomb hits, but Bryan catches him with the Yes-Lock to finish at 2:52.
Daniel Bryan v. Antonio Cesaro
We’re joined in progress after a break, as Bryan comes back with kicks before missing a charge and getting run into the corner. Cesaro goes to the chinlock, but Bryan takes him down for a surfboard, which Cesaro reverses out of. Suplex gets two, and an elbowdrop gets two. Cesaro goes to another chinlock, but Bryan fights back and goes up. Swagger shoves him off into a forearm in a slick spot, and that gets two as we take another break. Back with Bryan fighting back again, but Cesaro gets two with a backbreaker. Bryan comes back with kicks and gets two. Bryan to the top, but Cesaro hits another forearm to block him. He tries a superplex, but Bryan hangs him in the Tree of Woe and dropkicks him. He follows with a superplex, but Cesaro reverses it for two. They slug it out with forearms and Cesaro just murders him, then hits a short clothesline to give us the Jannetty Sell from Bryan. That only gets two. The Neutralizer seems to be academic, but Bryan fights back again, and this time he’s the one doing the forearms. IRONY! Cesaro gets tossed and hit with the dive, and back in Bryan counters SWISS DEATH into the SMALL PACKAGE OF DOOM to finish at 17:38. Holy crap that turned into an awesome match. ****1/4
Daniel Bryan v. Ryback
Bryan is throwing kicks again, but walks into a big boot. Ryback tosses him by the beard and stomps away, then whips him into the corner. Suplex gets two. Ryback pounds away, but charges and hits knee. Bryan comes back with more knees, but walks into a clothesline that gets two. Ryback gets a table at ringside, but Bryan hits a dive and comes back with kicks in the ring. Sunset flip gets two. Ryback blocks the Yes-Lock, so Bryan takes him into the corner and goes up with a missile dropkick for two. Another Yes-Lock, but Ryback powers himself to the ropes and bails. Bryan dives off the apron and gets powerbombed through the table, and that’s a DQ at 9:09. So he goes 3-0 on the gauntlet, which is not bad. And this turned into a hell of a match, too! ***1/4 Cena runs out to exact his revenge on Ryback, and challenges Ryback to a tables match NEXT WEEK (tomorrow night, actually).
The Pulse
First two hours kind sucked but they went by fast, but that last hour featured two awesome matches and redeemed the entire show. I’m thinking this show bombs in the ratings, but we’ll see. Daniel Bryan wrestling in a bunch of wrestling matches makes me happy.
The last guy to have two 3*+ matches on the same show? I can't remember.
ReplyDeleteYou missed some fine Bella Boobage by fast forwarding.
ReplyDeleteBest nipple slip of the year.
Daniel Bryan totally rescued this show, put the strap on him already!
ReplyDeleteWhilst I initially hated the new WWE title, it has grown on me some what, but it's still far from awesome... I still squint a little when I look at it.
How about the last guy to wrestle two 3*+ matches on the same show in which we see his girlfriend's nipple?
ReplyDeleteSold! Although I admit, like Scott, I quickly hit the fast forward. I'll go watch some porn now to make up for it.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan gives his fans EVERYTHING they could want!
ReplyDeleteSince you also need to atone for your fast forwarding sins, might I suggest the Chyna ass-to-mouth scene?
ReplyDeleteI'm not into male gay sex.
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't a slip, that was the whole thing. And yes, I fast forwarded through that segment on my DVR, to catch up with the show.
ReplyDeleteHHH ran the gauntlet back in 99, I think. That had the boiler room match where a never explained hand pushed Mankind through a table.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan, June 3rd RAW.
ReplyDeleteI said it was supposed to be punishment!
ReplyDeleteI can't do it. I can honestly say I've never watched even a minute of that horror show.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Scott. I dig it.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Punk. Bryan is the best wrestler in the world. What an incredible showing.
ReplyDeleteIt's great on it's own, and looks even better when compared to its predecessor.
ReplyDeleteLooks WWE finally figured out they should be stacking the 3rd hour with the big guns.
ReplyDeleteI don't hate the design, but I think it's the WWE logo that holds it back. If it were, say, the WWE network logo I think I'd be all for it. The scratch logo just doesn't scream world championship.
ReplyDeletesomebody here should review the chyna/xpac sex tape.
ReplyDeleteIf ever there was a job for Caliber...this is it!
ReplyDeleteI don't hate the design, but I think it's the WWE logo that holds it
ReplyDeleteback. If it were, say, the WWE network logo I think I'd be all for it.
The scratch logo just doesn't scream world championship.
It was already done by the masked review dude. Search for it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JK0Kytekik
ReplyDelete*sniff* Daniel Bryan is awesome you guys... *starts bawling*
ReplyDeleteLike Jack Swagger and Wade Barrett?
ReplyDeletei know it might be sacrilege, but why in the hell are the real americans not using 'real american' as their entrance music? wwe hates hogan this week!
ReplyDeletehi hulk!
ReplyDeleteBecause their music never plays for more than a few seconds before it's time for a Dutch rant.
ReplyDeleteBecause they'd immediately get over as faces then. And WWE doesn't want that.
ReplyDeleteI was there live, Bryan wrestled in the dark main event too! FOUR matches!
ReplyDeleteYeah, in matches against RVD and Bryan.
ReplyDeletehi brooke!
ReplyDeleteya know why dbry is so over?
ReplyDeletecause he could be any one of us. it has nothing to do with bein' an underdog, and everything to do with if any one of us got into better shape (those who need it), and let our hair get scraggly, we'd look like him.
i totes see myself in him. he makes everything look so easy, and the fact that he looks like you and me resonates and draws us to him. hbk and bret were smaller, but still models compared to us. rey was so over the top acrobatic and eddie so off the charts with machismo that they were on some other level
but dbry is just a regular dude, and since we all see that in him, we're the "guys who get it"
lol at the buttmunch waitin' to downvote. it came as soon as i pressed enter.
ReplyDeletelol get a life, assjack
It's not like you posted some great epiphany.
ReplyDeleteI didn't downvote you, but I read that post and thought, "Well, duh!"
i havent seen anyone anywhere bring it up, so i figured i'd throw it out there
ReplyDeleteSorry, but you're going to have to face the fact that some people don't fancy you as their favorite asshole. Perhaps, they fancy a different asshole.
ReplyDeleteAnd to top it all off, he's either Canadian or British. Either way it's creepy.
ReplyDeletedv's didnt come from me, btw
ReplyDeletewhats creepy?
WWE's official Twitter account has already outted Cena and Bryan dating the Bellas. Surely it's only a matter of time before this gets moved into the storyline...
ReplyDeleteNobody peaked as a worker in ECW... but you are right about everything else.
ReplyDeleteRVD's peak was probably '02 after wrestling Benoit a couple of times.
i wanna say they made allusions to it on tv, too
ReplyDeleteThe gauntlet series was great but I was really disappointed that there was no Wyatt family. Since last weeks Raw, I actually couldn't wait for Raw to air(for the first time in a long time) because I wanted to see what the Wyatt family got into. But apparently they were on Main Event so I need to watch that.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind it too much. The more twists and turns this feud takes, the more memorable it will become. First, Bryan shows himself to be a badass. Next, Cena will be called out on patronizing Bryan just a bit when he felt the need to "save" him. In the midst of this, stuff turns from the professional battle with elements of envy and disrespect to a personal battle as well. Sprinkle a little Bulldog-Hart element to it. This has been an impressive first chapter, and at the very least, they have a Chapter 2 to this angle in their back pocket if need be.
ReplyDeleteDownvotes are not the opposite of upvotes. It's just another form of affection.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not garnering complete apathy, then you're fine.
If Dbry is like us, does that mean I too could fuck a Bella?
ReplyDeleteThey should just have Daniel Bryan wrestle the whole 3 hours.
ReplyDeleteDefine "could".
ReplyDeleteHe could.
ReplyDeleteTHREADJACK!~
ReplyDeletewhat the hell...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET6trYnJAdA
Nice to see Paul Heyman has branched out to organizing other sporting events.
ReplyDeleteDownvotes are just upvotes from people who wish to remain anonymous.
ReplyDeleteCena made a joke about wrestling one of the Bellas during his main event interview segment last week.
ReplyDeletestrangers are just friends you havent made yet!
ReplyDeleteThanks anonymous fan!
ReplyDeleteMe neither, I just could not watch that and I've seen 2 girls 1 cup!
ReplyDeleteTo quote a joke I've seen on Facebook: it appears Big Show invoked his Ironclad Contract and refused to appear on RAW tonight. I have nothing bad to say about this, although if Maddox says that this is why Big Show did not return last week I will be happier.
ReplyDeleteYeah I usually need tons of tissues when watching a Daniel Bryan match. And hand lotion.
ReplyDeleteMaddox also mentioned how Bryan has "relationship issues"... So I assume they'll get his Bella out there to defend him soon.
ReplyDeleteWe are living in Daniel Bryan's world.
ReplyDeleteHe is the master.
Like I could meet her in a bar and one thing could lead to another and I'd be making her breakfast in the morning.
ReplyDeleteHe shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteUnless they bring in lance storm and do a smarky "no bumps" match.
Bet you their first feud is Big Show jobbing to them.
ReplyDeleteStatler: “HUSKY HARRIS! HUSKY HARRIS!”
ReplyDeleteWaldorf: “What are you yapping about?”
Statler: “Oh, I’m making fun of Bray Wyatt by calling him what he used to be!”
Waldorf: “Oh yeah? That any fun?”
Statler: “Try it!”
Waldorf: “OK then! GOOD SHOW! GOOD SHOW! GOOD SHOW!”
Statler: “What are you doing, you fool?! RAW wasn’t a good show tonight!”
Waldorf: “No, but that’s what it used to be!”
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
I want this exchange on an achewood comic strip stat.
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to those geezers by the way. Bryan!Danielson/Cesaro!Castagnoli going **** in the main event-ish of RAW was a dream come true.
ReplyDeleteIRONCLAD CONTRACT!
ReplyDelete*boom*
It's just been revoked!
http://www.screeninsults.com/images/lethal-weapon-2-revoked3.jpg
That review looks more entertaining than the entire movie.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have never seen nor do I ever want to see "Backdoor To Chyna" because I absolutely hate the horror movies that come out nowadays (unless they're directed by Andrew Cymek, that guy never gets enough praise).
Or a Bella.
ReplyDeleteI haven't watched a minute of it, either.
ReplyDeleteI come too quick.
OOOOOOOOOW!!
Why do I think of Tim The Toolman Taylor when I see your username?
ReplyDeleteaaaaaeeeuuuuUUUUUUGGGHHH?!?!
Oh fuck you, one million upvotes.
ReplyDeleteThe only way you'd be making a Bella breakfast in the morning is if you were a chef at Denny's
ReplyDeleteYou know, I downloaded Avengers XXX just for the hell of it. And seeing Thor fuck She-Hulk was...it was just so fucking weird. Especially with the certain side effects Chyna has earned from years of using male hormones.
ReplyDeleteHow dare you, good sir! I only review the finest in quality programing!
ReplyDeleteSo you're more a Backdoor Sluts 9 kinda guy?
ReplyDeleteWhat else can you say but....that was Bryan's Randy Savage moment. (Keep in mind that The Macho Man beat the One Man Gang by DQ also.) I suppose this means that Cena is playing the role of both Hogan and DiBiase but still....
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the Del Rio-RVD match on Smackdown sets the stage for those two at SummerSlam. The only other realistic World Heavyweight title contenders they could pit against Del Rio at the PPV would be Sheamus (seen it a lot already), Christian (nobody would buy him actually winning), Rhodes (might as well announce that Sandow will cost him the match) or the returning Big Show (also seen it a lot). Of course Triple H could always throw himself in there and win another championship because he can.
ReplyDelete"Of course Triple H could always throw himself in there and win another championship because he can."
ReplyDeleteThe guy hasn't held a world title in 4 years, I think you can stop worrying.
This! Fucking duh.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention that if he did hold a title, he'd have to job to somebody.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious Ryback isn't the next Kurt Angle or anything, but what exactly makes him so bad that he's getting "You can't wrestle" chants? Serious question. Is it the execution of his moves? The move set itself? Is his selling bad? Is it more of a charisma thing than a technical thing? To me, Ryback isn't the disaster so many people say he is. He's a power guy who wrestles a power style. Nobody should be expecting missile dropkicks and 619s out of him, so what's the problem?
ReplyDeleteFucking GREAT episode, the last hour was killer. Amazing stuff from Bryan and I'm really liking Brad Maddox too
ReplyDeleteProbably the fact he's not very technical. Not a v nice thing to chant though, I agree
ReplyDeleteI'm downvoting you for using words such as buttmunch, assjack, and lol.
ReplyDeleteThe three stages of hell match was such a disaster . . .
ReplyDeleteKinda hope Bryan gets another shot at Ryback and beats him clean in 2 weeks . .
ReplyDeleteI don't know about the ratings being negatively affected, Scott. Smackdown was up 300,000 viewers last week, probably just to get a glimpse of RVD back in action. I see this trend continuing.
ReplyDeleteYou seem awfully defensive about that...
ReplyDeleteBella Burn!
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly was so bad about it, though? And was that all on Ryback, or does Cena get any blame? Or was it just the booking you didn't like?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I just have low expectations, but the only guys I really consider "bad" wrestlers are those who are either (1) too physically limited by age, injuries and/or conditioning to do much in the ring, or (2) those who make it too obvious that it's a scripted fight. I forgot their names, but in one of those TNA Gut Check matches a couple months ago one guy's selling was so cartoonish and his timing was so off that it just ruined the match.
That and setting shit up with a hot act instead of a twenty minute HR interview. Could you imagine what the Wyatt entrance would have been like if the previous match had been an RVD match?
ReplyDeleteThen Kane vs. Christian with the Wyatt Beat Down.
Then have D Bry make the save to make him a super face.
And THEN you have him face Kane.
Next week, Heyman and Brock visit the office of Phil Brooks and destroy his prized vinyl collection of punk albums.
ReplyDeleteYeah he's definitely not as bad as people make him out to be. He's not Bret Hart or HBK but like you said, he's not supposed to be. I take it more as the crowd was just trying to get under his skin more than anyone thinking he's the worst wrestler ever.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think Ryback's okay in the ring.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, Kurt Angle's been mostly mediocre (at best) for years, and wasn't really all that great during his peak either.
He could take a tip from his BFF HBK and forfeit the title. I don't think he's ever done that before.
ReplyDeleteHope they give Cesaro a push, this man is a great worker.
ReplyDeleteYou make them breakfast in the morning? Do you call them afterwards also?
ReplyDeleteOh dear...
ReplyDeleteI have the WWE app, really only to see the match action during commercial break. I suggest everyone do the same. Two weeks in a row during commercial there was significant in ring action that the TV audience missed. Cesaro in particular had some great moves during the commercial break
ReplyDeleteDamnit, I wish it was 1995 again, just to see the WWF debut an evil Badmintion player to have a few matches with Sparky Plugg and Duke "the Dumpster" Droese. Maybe even team him with the Goon or MVP for a minute
ReplyDeleteCole is that you?!?!?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteHehehehe seriously! It's lame but Cesaro did the toss in the air European upper cut and also did another ridiculous suplex during the commercial break. The rest of the app is lame
ReplyDeleteI'm actually excited for Summerslam for the first time in years (since Hogan/HBK I think even), but I also can't shake the feeling of impending disappointment once Cena beats Bryan and just moves on to whatever program is next.
ReplyDeleteMove variety is a big thing to me and Ryback has a very limited moveset. Cena suffers from this problem as well. The PG era did hurt the match more than anything since if a match needed blood and devastating spots this was it. Yea Ryback's not horrible to me at all, it's more he's been booked horribly, the asking the ref to stop the match in the Miz match really killed the character completly.
ReplyDelete2 girls 1 cup is fake though. I shiver at the thought of Chyna having sex...
ReplyDeleteLove the Real Americans. Dutch is refining and refining.
ReplyDeleteI think Bryan is going to win. Then Orton cashes in his briefcase and turn heel.
ReplyDeleteI was not a fan of their ROH match. Overlong and unflashy.
ReplyDeleteWe;ve been waiting for the Orton heel turn for like 2 years now. I don't think it's gonna happen.
ReplyDeleteIt insisted upon itself.
ReplyDeleteCan't stand them. Especially including Cesaro. Makes no sense with the Anti-Foreigner stance and Cesaro's anti-American stance.
ReplyDeleteGet him away from Swagger first.
ReplyDeleteHe'd be more hurt having them trash his comic collection.
ReplyDeleteI don't see how anyone likes Maddox.
ReplyDeleteHe's the only man to get a good match out of Ken Anderson, dude is a wrestling god.
ReplyDeleteHis wrestling trunks had "Beef Mode" written on them.
ReplyDeleteI think he's still riding that wave.
I don't even know what that means.
ReplyDeleteThat's the fucking point.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even a HHH hater, but I could kind of see him wanting to win a title only to tearfully have to surrender it.
ReplyDelete"This championship means more to me than anything, jack. In this business, there's only one way....two..ways to tell if you're the man. This is one half of the second one. The other half is banging my wife. Which only I can do, so really this doesn't mean much to anyone else.
Huh. I should think on that sometime."
I like Maddox. I think he's very self aware and does a great job of playing his character- the weasely, smarmy, oily, 2-faced, coattail-riding preppy who's in over his head. Plus it looks like WWE "gets" his character and understands how to book/write it.
ReplyDeleteI've liked him since Day 1, think he's a tremendous performer.
They're hypocrites. It's called being a heel.
ReplyDeleteYou must be a joy at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteAdding Cesaro made it 100x better cause it shows Zeb's true colours (he's a racist not a patriot).
ReplyDeleteNobody has been able to decipher anything beyond the fact there is a mode named Beef and it's apparently engaged.
ReplyDeleteI think it adds an aura of mystery.
What is "Beef Mode"? Is Maddox in "Beef Mode" or is Maddox a personification there of?
Is it a fighting style? A religion?
All things yet to be revealed...
"MizTV features the cast of Total Divas. Oh, is that the fast forward button? I think it is."
ReplyDeleteSo then you missed the nip slip. Now how do you feel smarty pants?
Wooooooooooooooooooooosh.
ReplyDeleteIf only someone could explain to me how to download it from the app store...
ReplyDeleteSo agreed, it's not like Angle had some of the greatest matches of the modern era while also being one of the most entertaining dudes on the mic as well. Doesn't hold a candle to a dude who has had one or two decent matches and can't cut a decent promo for his life like Ryback.
ReplyDeleteWell, not before being stripped of the title so that he can win it again in an Elimination Chamber a few weeks later.
ReplyDeletelol. dont be such a buttmunch, assjack
ReplyDeletewho the fuck creates (at this moment) 12 different accounts to dv someone?
ReplyDeletegood lord
See there's "Beast Mode", which is all the rage. But Maddox, being awesome and into wearing tight shirts to show off his physique, instead is in a perpetual state of "Beef Mode".
ReplyDeleteAnd you can't see how people like (no, LOVE) the guy?
Oh I get it, but it isn't ironic, it's stupid.
ReplyDeleteSince no one else is saying it I guess I'll have to break the ice:
ReplyDeleteI'm totally watching Total Divas. Not ironically, either. I'm genuinely interested in the show's premise and will PVR it and give it a real chance. If it turns out to be shitty then fine, but I'm actually curious to see the behind the scenes workings of the WWE.
And to watch D-Bry prepare dinner.
i was always plannin' on watching it cause I like the behind the scenes stuff.
ReplyDeletebut if brie asks 'whats for din-din' and dbry responds 'asparagus,' i'm out
It isn't supposed to be ironic. See Jabber2's comment below.
ReplyDeleteExcept that he is the most polite racist ever and never even comes close to saying anything racially offensive. Not that I'm advocating that, I think racial and political gimmicks suck in general.
ReplyDeleteBrie looked up with hungry eyes, "Can I have some of your asparagus?" she asked.
ReplyDeleteBryan smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. "Just the tip, Brie. Just to see if you like it. Just the tip."
THATS HIS DOG, YOU WEIRDO
ReplyDeleteNah, top of the card is too crowded right now. Claudio would only end up as another stopgap for Cena. Have the Wyatts go apeshit on the Shield, injuring Rollins and turning Shield face. The Shield has to forfeit the tag titles due to an inability to defend. Usos win the belts in a tournament the Wyatts are ineligible to compete in due to their attack on The Shield, and to give the Usos their moment after like two years of hard work. Night after they win the belts they get murdered by the Real Americans. Give the guys a decent run with the belts before you run a break up angle.
ReplyDeleteI knew Bryan could wrestle his ass off, but I didn't know Claudio could keep up like that. Damn, I need some old ROH DVDs now to see his old stuff.
ReplyDeleteWhat I love about the Real American is Dutch. The guy comes from an era where he knows how to improvise enough to see when something isn't working and can do an immediate shift into something to draw heat. His promo last night was entertaining simply for the fact that he knows how to piss off a crowd.
ReplyDeleteIndifferent. There's this called the Internet. It has all the free boobs you could ever want.
ReplyDeleteI liked that he acknowledged the crowd with the ear to the head. These "sports entertainers" don't do that nearly enough. That's a major reason why guys like Cena, The Rock & Bryan, etc are so over. They don't wrestle like robots oblivious to the cheers and boos.
ReplyDeleteIf this doesn't make the ratings go up, I don't know what will: http://www.pwmania.com/artman/wp-content/gallery/brie-bella-nipslip/bella-006.jpg
ReplyDeleteI think this is the likely scenario... and since WWE seems to be largely going by the book with their big programs this year, it would make sense. It would fit given Bryan's recent history with Orton, plus it would get Orton over as a heel instantly. Have someone earlier on the SummerSlam card beat Orton and you also have three challengers for him right off the bat (Cena, Bryan and whoever beats him).
ReplyDeleteI was excited for the 2011 SummerSlam until HHH named himself the special referee of the Cena/Punk match.
ReplyDeleteHis name in FCW/NXT was Beef Wellington... so he was using his old gear that time he was forced to rassle.
ReplyDeleteKurt still brings it for the 8,000 people that buy TNA PPVs... his basic matches on Impact is pretty much being done to preserve what's left in his tank.
ReplyDeleteprob already said, but NOW would be the ultimate time to pull a Cena heel turn at Summer Slam..... Wont happen, but it would be the best way to get him all around heat they would want.
ReplyDeleteRight with you Scott, love the new WWE title.
ReplyDeleteI'll check out the first one and see how it is.
ReplyDeleteI've also noticed more crowd work from Swagger and Cesaro. The hand over heart thing is a great way for Cesaro to get Insta-Heat, and was liking Swagger doing the 'horns down' when the crowd got on him for being an Oklahoma alum. I'd have preferred he club down Bryan, showing horns down and slowly turning so the whole crowd sees it, but baby steps.
ReplyDeleteI actually think Zeb is doing a really good job at toeing that line of being a "racist" or maybe more appropriately "zenophobic" heel without saying things that would get WWE in the news in a bad way....and to be honest, in some parts of the USA, what Zeb is saying would make him a huge face, so he has a tough job and he's doing it very well. Kudos to him.
ReplyDeleteThe joke! It does nothing!
ReplyDeleteI saw him in OVW where his name tended to move around a bit.
One week he would be Beef and the next he was Brent.
Sometimes he was Brent "Beef" Wellington.
Bravo!
ReplyDeleteBobby Lashley had two negative *** matches when he ran the gauntlet back in 2007 (his match against Viscera in particular was a definite Worst Match Of The Year contender).
ReplyDeleteNot to mention that Zeb said that Cesaro was a real american becuase he became a legal citizen, and didn't sneak across the border.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention that Zeb said that Cesaro was a real american because he became a legal citizen, and didn't sneak across the border. Pay attention!
ReplyDeleteNikki must be pissed that she spent thousands on her fake ones and people are talking about Brie's.
ReplyDeleteVery smart. He can see the screencap of the boobs and still not have to sit through a Divas segment. Like Holiday Inn Express smart.
ReplyDeleteHe did so in WWE '12.
ReplyDeleteTell me more about this internet.
ReplyDelete*xenophobic
ReplyDeleteWell, Orton does always strike out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteI would just like to comment....that British food is gross and bad.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Kurt is one of the most overrated wrestlers of all time.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with a bumpless match?
ReplyDeleteI disagree completely. Daniel Bryan is one of the smoothest technical wrestlers of all time. I don't see that and think "that could be me".
ReplyDeleteBryan is the best worker, Punk is still the best overall performer.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure no top-level babyface has ever had the balls to do a feud as personal as what Punk is willing to do.
A heel? Lie? Surely you jest!
ReplyDeleteHe's Jewish, leave him alone.
ReplyDeleteWell, Marshawn Lynch of the Seahawks is known as "Beef Moe," so I figured it had some connection to that.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think it's cool, but I took a gander at one on Youtube and didn't like it very much. But then again the crowd was shitting all over it.
ReplyDeleteEh...who was in in it?
ReplyDeleteI think bumps are a tool, but I don't think they're essential, like psychology and selling are.
I'm actually trying to visualize a bumpless match right now. I actually think I could book one, as long as it wasn't too long.
It's not so much that he's such a shitty wrestler, in that he LOOKS LIKE a shitty wrestler having to follow Cesaro's performance. Most people would look like shitty workers following THAT!
ReplyDeleteUh, David he didn't really set you up for that Lethal Weapon line, it doesn't really work here.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-8j5HxOyH0
ReplyDeletecoupla nobodies.
Heh, doesn't surprise it'd be those two.
ReplyDeleteJericho had no major injuries for a reason people.
It's rather odd that your anticipation of an entire PPV was dampened by the announcement of a guest referee.
ReplyDeleteI realized it sounded like I was comparing the two, but I actually wasn't. I meant Ryback isn't as unwatchably bad in the ring as a lot of people say, but with that being said he's still bad. Angle's better than Ryback obviously, but pretty mediocre overall. I think him and Jericho are more overrated by the "IWC" than any other wrestlers.
ReplyDeleteOh.......I'll have what she's having!
ReplyDeleteThat's.....better?
ReplyDeleteIt's because I knew that his involvement would mean that it would lead to a screwy finish that would suck. And, lo and behold, there was a disputed pinfall and Kevin Nash returned.
ReplyDeleteDid Thor put da hammer down?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is that Bryan seems to be such a nice guy off-screen that he has no baggage. And unlike Foley, Punk's not married and doesn't seem to care if people in his personal life are affronted by storylines.
ReplyDeleteBryan has other flaws as a performer. I'm just trying to put Punk over instead of burying Bryan.
ReplyDeleteFor one, Bryan corpses ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.
I'm actually not burying Punk here, he's very brave with where his promos go and promos aimed at him go. Just saying Bryan doesn't seem to have that baggage. But yes, he does regularly corpse. Which I find endearing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to say Bryan doesn't have his shit, because the fact that he left everything he knew to go to Texas (from Washington) to train at wrestling after graduating high school denotes some sort of mental illness.
ReplyDeleteBut Punk's issues are...better television.
Bryan doesn't corpse in non-comedic scenes, but Bryan is not a good actor. A charismatic performer? Yeah. An intriguing dude? Certainly. A good actor? No, no, no.
Punk said "Bring me Jared...from Subway." with a goddamn straight face. Best. Actor. In. Wrestling.