> http://www.11points.com/Sports/11_Pro_Wrestling_Moves_That_Require_the_Greatest_Suspension_of_Disbelief
>
> Enjoy.
Oh, Irish whip, how I hate you. JUST STOP RUNNING.
> http://www.11points.com/Sports/11_Pro_Wrestling_Moves_That_Require_the_Greatest_Suspension_of_Disbelief
>
> Enjoy.
Oh, Irish whip, how I hate you. JUST STOP RUNNING.
Go To Sleep.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but this threadjack's too funny:
ReplyDeletehttp://deadspin.com/heres-video-of-the-tom-brady-injury-1139986546
The poster with "Happy Birthday, Tim" -God cracks me up.
THIS IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL
ReplyDeleteAs far as #10 goes and nobody pushing Taker off the Rope Walk... I know The Rock did it back in '98 or '99 and crotched him.
ReplyDeleteI was gonna say something like that... I think it's been countered a few times. Not many, but enough.
ReplyDeleteOnly a couple really get any response from me:
ReplyDelete#5: Response time isn't everything, dumbass. Leverage can make the "surprise" work even after the initial shock's worn off.
#8: No, it's not like getting hit by a car at high speed... but they're still pretty solid metal. Fucker's gonna hurt if it connects.
I am seriously freaking out right now.
ReplyDeleteIf you are put in a small package, it would be legitimately hard to kickout before a 15 count, much less 3.
ReplyDeleteI'll give myself a -1 then. While laughing.
ReplyDeleteSunset flips are less believable than small packages IMO. You have to bend down for the back body drop and be caught by a guy flipping and using his hands to force down the biggest muscle in the body? Oh and pretty much every top rope move. Honorable mention to the neckbreaker, only because its most famous users have to dance or wiggle the pelvis before applying the move.
ReplyDeleteTop rope "impact" moves (Splashes and the like) are okay with me.
ReplyDeleteHow about Lex Luger's Human Torture Rack?
ReplyDeleteI don't have a beef with the small package. Your opponent rolls you up, and has your head and both legs cradled. Powering out of that could be difficult, in theory.
ReplyDelete'Surprise small package into a three count. A
ReplyDeletedecent amount of matches throughout wrestling history have ended with
one wrestler surprising the other by quickly rolling him up into a pin
and getting a three count. The theory here is that the losing wrestler
was caught so off guard by the roll up that, before he even realizes it,
he's fallen victim to the pin.
But... no one's reaction time is THAT slow.
Even if you're drunk from Irish coffee or you're trying to remember
that funny thing you heard on the radio that morning, you'd realize what
was going on before three second'
well, there goes the summerslam finish
I still don't know how Van Dam pulls off the Five Star Frog Splash without legitimately knocking the wind out of himself and/or his opponent. Shit looks like it HURTS, daddy.
ReplyDeletewell, at least he sells it like he's felt it
ReplyDeleteA crucifix pin is even more unbelievable. There's no way to get up there without your opponent's cooperation.
ReplyDeleteapparently someone on the wwe booking team takes umbrage to my observation
ReplyDeleteNo way the steps weigh less than a chair.
ReplyDeleteNO, I DONT WANNA!!!
ReplyDeleteAND YOU CANT MAKE ME!!!
plus, he says one option is to let go
ReplyDeletepretty sure taker's holding on to the opponent, as opposed to that arm stretching thing that scott hall used to do when his opponent would reverse it and yet hall would still hold on and sell the reversal
Rey Misterio should hold the top two spots for 619 and Wheelbarrow Suplex Reversal Bulldog.
ReplyDeleteAnd why pick on Old School when any old dive out of the ring will do. JUST MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!
'I don't have a beef with the small package.'
ReplyDeletei, however, do have beef
with small package
:(
You want the greatest suspension of disbelief? ECW. Shane Douglas would hit your ass with a chair, chain, kendo stick, put you through a table, etc., and couldn't pin you. But he hits the belly to belly suplex and you're done. Same for guys like Raven & Dreamer and their DDTs.
ReplyDeleteStill love how the ECW One Night Stand crowd took a shit all over the 619.
ReplyDeleteThe move compresses the spine, causing temporary paralysis that renders the victim unableto kick out.
ReplyDelete"Basically, these are all moves that require one wrestler to lie there, prone, for an extended period of time while his opponent does a gratuitously ornate sequence
ReplyDeleteof rituals, hand signals, dance moves and catchphrases -- only to
culminate with a low-impact move like an elbow drop or a chop"
Does this mean Mike Tyson's Punch-out is fake, too?
Honestly, the moves that bother me the most are the ones where you can see the opponent doing the work to hurt himself. Like when a Diva grabs a headlock and her opponent picks her up and drops her down to bulldog his/herself.
I don't see anything silly about The Worm. It's a perfectly cromulent move.
ReplyDeleteThe Pedigree and the waiting. I'd just headbutt Triple H in his junk.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I hate to argue about the believability of pro wrestling moves, but the "physics" of the small package are misrepresented here. It's not that you're caught off guard...it's that you're stuck. Right?
ReplyDeleteIt still has nothing on the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. The technical ability required to execute that move AND make it look believably painful is unmatched.
ReplyDeleteHere's been my standard "defense" (because a fun stoned topic with me and my friends is me defending the believability of professional wrestling, to the great amusement of both those who watch and don't watch) of moves like The People's Elbow: it's like high-stepping into the endzone or throwing it off the backboard to yourself on a breakaway dunk. It's not that the move is supposed to be devastating; it followed up the move (Rock Bottom or sidewalk slam, either way) that was devastating. The damage is done, now you're showboating.
ReplyDeleteThe Pedigree is actually kinda low on my list of hard-to-believe moves, because yeah, the waiting would make it easy to get out of. But it's pro wrestling and you have to work the crowd, so I can accept that. The move itself? Fairly believable.
ReplyDeleteI see no way that doesn't hurt.
ReplyDeleteI disagree about the surprise small-package being unrealistic. If you've ever done it or had it done to you, you'll know that if the guy applying it doesn't release you, you're really not able to just kick out. If he held ya tight enough, your kickout at best would make the both guys roll (think Bret/Perfect at KOTR '93) but wouldn't escape it.
ReplyDeleteDisagree on the small package. I'd say the multiple powerbomb has never looked quite right. That's a move that requires a lot of help from the other guy, to the point where it can look silly sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBrock doing it to the Hardys was AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteJericho doing it to anyone bigger than Rey Mysterio... pushing it there.
It wasn't Hogan's legdrop that killed his opponent dead; it was the Big Boot that kept the guy motionless for the 30 seconds necessary to play to the crowd before hitting that move.
ReplyDeleteThe slingshot has always been my most hated move to see broken out in a match. It is just so super unbelieveable.
ReplyDeleteThe arm dropping 3 times, can be justified as the wrestler in the submission hold just waiting and regaining strength because they know the other wrestler can't win until after the third drop.
You mean the Slightly Uncomfortable Piggy-Back Ride?
ReplyDeleteI've never really bought into the whole "punch" thing. Like, even if it was humanly possible to curl your fingers into your palm and hold your hand like tightened ball at the end of your arm for the extended period of time it would take to lift and throw into a blow, your metacarpus would shatter the second it made contact with your opponent's body. Same issue with top rope moves; your torso would explode upon impact. I don't know how they make these tricks look so good, but I know they aren't real.
ReplyDeleteThe Boomerang by Outback Jack!
ReplyDeleteHogan's legdrop was at least supposed to be on the windpipe, thereby stunning someone because their larynx was busted.
ReplyDeleteThe irish whip is the foundation of all wrestling matches.
ReplyDeleteSorry guys, this is Mr. Glass from Unbreakable using B-$ account.
ReplyDeleteTrue story: the move was named after an Irish wrestler who was so drunk, he didn't realize that he was supposed to stop running.
ReplyDeleteYokozuna's legdrop looked far more devastating.
ReplyDeleteThat Irish Whip counter is gonna get your shoulder separated.
ReplyDeletei can't stand Jericho's axe handle.
ReplyDeleteThe trick lies in vigorously waving the arm to warm up before executing the move.
ReplyDeleteStill, the degree of difficulty has been likened to Thorton Mellon's Triple Lindy.
1. Hurricanrana
ReplyDelete2. Irish whip.
3. Ref bump
4. People's Elbow/Worm/Five Knuckle Shuffle/Boom Drop/619.
5. Surprise small package into a three count
6. Slingshot
7. 10-count head into turnbuckle.
8. Smash with the steel ring steps.
9. Dropping the arm three times
10. The Undertaker's rope walk.
11. Hypnosis.
i'm totally fine with the slingshot and especially the steel stairs shot.
ReplyDeleteThe series of matches Rey Mysterio had with Kane several years ago irritated me, because Rey's offense on Kane was just too much for my suspension of disbelief. Kane is almost two feet taller, and could have easily brushed any of that off. In fact, Mysterio should never had a chance to pull any of his moves off.
ReplyDelete2/3 of Sin Cara's offense is just flip-flip-flip-armdrag.
Applied properly, a small package is damn near impossible to kick out of.
ReplyDelete--The small package is sound, this guys wrong.
ReplyDelete--What he calls a slingshot I've always thought was called a catapult?
--The hypnosis was in Chikara.
--He missed my own pet favorite, the vertical suplex. Completely impossible and, if it were possible, should be quite devastating.
--When you start pulling these threads, all of wrestling looks ridiculous. And everyone has their pet biases (for some reason everyone gets sand in their twats about the Flatliner but no one ever complains about the DDT, even though they both involve taking a flatback bump). You know what wrestling where everything is completely logical and realistic looks like? MMA.
I disagree. Yoko was a big fat guy with large, soft legs, while Hogan was 300 lbs of muscle. Sure, you were in danger of getting smothered to death if Yoko decided to sit on you for a while after the Hulkbuster, but Hogan's would definitely be more painful.
ReplyDeleteYou'd be devastated too if that much weight came down.
ReplyDeleteSpecial mention to those retarded huma chain superplexes that indy wrestlers are so fond of. The Canadian destroyer is also pretty stupid once you've seen it a few times and the 'WHOA!' factor has worn off.
ReplyDeleteThe irish whip is so ingrained in wrestling it requires no suspension of belief. Its just there, its part of the package.
ReplyDeleteLike warp drives in science fiction
and bein' a pizza delivery guy gettin' seduced a milf and her daughter in the reality series that is my life
ReplyDeleteand when applied improperly, a small package will be laughed at and maybe even kicked
ReplyDeleteya know what the biggest suspension of disbelief was?
ReplyDeletefrickin' zack gowen as a wrestler
inspirational story aside, thats too much
Plus, stairs are Brock Lesnar's only weakness! That's how HHH and Cene beat him!
ReplyDeleteEveryone else had a leg up on the guy.
ReplyDelete12. Arm BAR
ReplyDelete13. ARM Bar
The Vertical Suplex was once considered devastating.
ReplyDeleteI still love that match on Flair's first DVD set... WWWF early 70's, where Flair beats what I'd call a JTTS with the Vertical.
Also, is it just me, or have we not seen a good vertical suplex in some time? I'm hit or miss with watching the product, though.
ReplyDeleteIt must be the not being able to see John Cena before the fistdrop that gives the Five Knuckle Shuffle its power
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why hypnosis made this list but voodoo did not
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gr58QnHidQ
The delayed vertical suplex appears to have become a lost art.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, they could try and pull away.
ReplyDeleteAnd umbrage with your umbrage. UMBRACEPTION!
ReplyDeleteEvery fight I've ever won was won with a Pedigree. FACT.
ReplyDeleteI would have expected you to hop to his defense.
ReplyDeleteDeflated as well.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, it was Honey Boo-boo and her mom Jabba.
ReplyDeleteHad his opponents taken Owen Hart's advice, they never would've lost.
ReplyDeleteYou should try to catch a Michael Elgin match. He delays them for over a minute. Suspension of disbelief ruining? Sure. But awesome, textbook delayed suplex? Absolutely.
ReplyDeleteAka the human thumb.
ReplyDeleteThere's guys who can do it with some believeability. And then as pointed out there's cruiserweight bully Jericho bringing with him to WWE, where there are next to no cruisers.
ReplyDeletegives new meaning to "here comes honey boo boo'
ReplyDeletePunk just did it at WM. It's been countered a ton, I'm sure Angle armdragged him out of it a bunch of times.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the HARD corner irish whip where the guy giving the move uses so much force he falls to the mat?
ReplyDeleteBut you're cool with Kerry Von Erich winning the Intercontinental Title?
ReplyDeleteYes, because you didn't know he was missing a foot. If Gowen had a prosthetic leg on and pants, all is good. Wrestling is all perception.
ReplyDeleteThis begins and ends with the C4 and the Canadian Destroyer.
ReplyDeleteBoth cool-looking moves that would send your "You know it's fucking fake, right?" roommate into a nonstop fit of laughter if they walked into the room while those moves were being performed on TV.
This list reminds me of when I was 6 and my grandfather would sit there and tell if that happened in real life the guy would be dead.
ReplyDeleteThe Canadian Destroyer is simply a counter to a counter to a Sunset Flip.
ReplyDeleteThe great ones are always thinking two moves ahead.
How about a slightly elevated, glorified fireman's carry which should have the exact same impact as a backdrop?
ReplyDeleteWhich is exactly the move that gave JoJo a concussion...and now the poor girl may NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN!
ReplyDeleteI feel like the article is sort of mixing up the small package and a simple roll up. The roll up often does look stupid (see: Ryback beating Jericho with an incredibly weak roll up). Not all the time, if the guy has good leverage, and I always like when it seems like the guy getting pinned is trying to kick out and just can't get the shoulder up, but often enough. The small package really isn't the same type of thing.
ReplyDeleteAs shitty a pro-wrestling finishing move as "The Garvin Stomp" was, in reality it'd suck worse than the majority of wrestling moves if a dude was stomping the shit out of me on the ground..
ReplyDeleteI myself never understood how missing a high impact move was more devastating than actually hitting it. I understand that you're coming off the top ropes and landing on a human body that acts as a cushion, but landing on the ring apron and missing by a few inches shouldn't be THAT much worse.
ReplyDeleteThis article lost me immediately. The hurricanrana requires suspension of disbelief? I just saw Trinity do a totally by surprise hurricanrana on an Uso cause she was SHOOTING on Total Divas. Just saw it, and damnit, why would a reality show lie to me?
ReplyDeleteThe Rocks sharpshooter and in later years Stings scorpion deathlock. It's got to be embarrassing tapping out to those or passing out like Matt Morgan did recently. It's a sad day when I can legitimately put the hold on better than 20 + year pro's.
ReplyDeleteKozlov actually got a pin off of it.
ReplyDeleteIt's about the only thing other than bouncing off his head from a piledriver than Van Dam does sell.
ReplyDeleteI love The Rock's Shartshooter; it looks like it hurts him more than it hurts his opponent
ReplyDeleteThey need to bring in Barry Windham to train them
ReplyDeleteNo, she FOUND HER INSPIRATION and is totally dumping her boyfriend that's like her best friend and everything.
ReplyDeleteThe ROH six-man from last week's TV show had two guys doing ridiculously long delayed vertical suplexes.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome.
We're debating suspension of disbelief in a form of entertainment where grown men oil themselves up, dress in their underwear, slick back their hair, and shout at each other about how they're going to commit assault, only to criticize a fucking Irish whip? Suspension of disbelief itself is a joke. Does anyone really believe Hulk Hogan would win a fight with a leg drop? For professional wrestling to exist you have to acknowledge what is happening isn't real. Everything that follows should just be window dressing.
ReplyDeleteIt embiggens the smallest man.
ReplyDeleteWith tears in my eyes I must concede, Bret Hart was the best at that spot.
ReplyDeleteThat descrpition is not talking about a small package; it's just talking about a roll-up.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you can't tell the difference between small package and roll-up, I'm gonna take umbrage with your article.
No, the hypnosis spot that got famous came from CZW, but it had been done previously in CHIKARA (and other indies). I know this because the team The Osirian Portal are facing is The Runaways, Joe Gacy and Ryan Slater. Greg Excellent also make an, pun intended, excellent cameo.
ReplyDeleteHere's my theory on why it works:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAbOGuk4CPA
We'll there's suspending disbelief; then there's NUKING disbelief (Vince Russo falls into this category).
ReplyDelete500 pound people can stand on the steps, they're not some flimsy tin like this guy must believe.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an MMA expert but I'm fairly sure there was a PRIDE fight that had a shoot huracanrana.
ReplyDeleteHE HAD ONE FUCKIN' LEG OR SOMETHIN'!
ReplyDeleteBrock Lesnar ever losing, ever.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Except of course when Cain Velasquez is the other guy.
ReplyDeletePRIDE's kinda sketchy, but where else can you see Rampage Jackson try to shoot piledrive someone
ReplyDeleteAnything that just results in a back bump - like the Hurricanrana from the top role. You're risking landing on the back of your head from the top rope when you could just throw him off.
ReplyDeleteAnd anything where the opponent is clearly going along with it - the guy getting the Pedigree could just drop to his knees and refuse to get up, the guy getting the Killswitch could just stay on his feet or land his his knees to block the impact.
How the majority of matches follow the same pattern - good guy's winning, bad guy's winning for a while, good guy fights back, bad guy stops him, good guy wins/bad guy wins. It's why things like Orton/HHH trading finishers to start a match might not work but I give them credit for trying something different.
Every waitress Bret's ever bedded (and we're talking 100's here) complimented him on the way he took that spot.
ReplyDeleteDean Malenko was the last one I recall
ReplyDeleteOr if there ever was a wrestler called 'Dr. Diverticulitis'.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is kind of the problem in general. Once you go down the road of legit devastating moves, the stuff like the Worm, People's Elbow, etc starts looking ridiculous. Hogan's leg drop wasn't so bad back in the day when you took it in context. But by the early 2000s, you had Benoit & Angle dumping each other on their necks with suplexes followed by matches that included ranas, Worms, and the less believable spots. It's hard to have it both ways.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I can totally see stuff like a frog splash, 450, or even Savage's elbow drop being a knockout. Some moves are fairly convincing
ReplyDeleteYeah, it looks REALLY ridiculous sometimes
ReplyDeleteHaha, I just made a message board post about this a week or so ago. The Canadian Destroyer seems to be a perfectly-unrealistic move. Similarly, any finisher that's just a punch, since wrestling typically proves that you can take 2,000 punches over the course of a match and suffer no consequences (especially in the Attitude Era).
ReplyDeletehahah, like how he's just SCREAMING his head off while doing it, his mouth opened in the hugest scream ever?
ReplyDeleteEddie must have fed him a bad burrito before No Way Out.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with the Flatliner is it looks like you're giving yourself a Rock Bottom, using your own opponent's weight against you. At least with the DDT you can easily say he's putting all his weight on the top of the guy's head- at worst it's just a back bump.
ReplyDeleteMatches that don't follow that pattern, such as Jeff Hardy vs Sting at Victory Road, tend to suck.
ReplyDeleteThe old bridge out of a pin and twist into a backslide thing Flair would always fall victim to. Riiiiiight...
ReplyDeleteIt's the only finisher that works over the entire body!
ReplyDeleteI don't think he's that good a seller.
ReplyDeleteMacho's elbow crushed Li'l Naitch's chest or something in late-99/early-00, didn't it?
ReplyDeleteThe one that always got me was the missed dropkick. You hit the ground the same way regardless; how does not causing damage to someone else inflict damage to yourself?
ReplyDeleteWorked on Big Show.
ReplyDeleteAnd himself.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I said!
ReplyDeleteThe Stroke. When Jeff Jarrett was dominating TNA, it was so damn aggravating that guys would get up from chair shots, guitar shots, etc yet somehow, being tripped on the face (which would require Jarrett to trip the same way) was a knock-out blow to earn the pin.
ReplyDeleteIt's the steel. The belt is made out of steel. Vince is too cheap for gold.
ReplyDeleteYou tore your eyes!? Get to an emergency room stat!
ReplyDeleteYeah true, imagine a one armed MMA fighter. That guy would get destroyed...
ReplyDeleteit's funny because honey boo boo is like 4.
ReplyDeleteCZW also had hypnosis (featuring 2 Chikara workers though, to be fair.). Nothing beats Sexy Chucky T and his slow motion grenade though.
ReplyDeleteThe old school vertical suplex has been almost completely replaced by the "snap" version Benoit always used (and had adopted from DK).
ReplyDeleteThat spot or the whole 6-man where awesome, cause I fear we may have had different views on that show
ReplyDeleteThat spot. I was thinking, "Why doesn't anyone in WWE do that spot anymore?"
ReplyDeleteI fell asleep on the finish. I didn't like Kevin Steen joke selling. But I also wonder why he isn't the main event guy for that promotion, if for no other reason than WWE isn't going to sign away a guy that looks like that.
Yeah, I think a 6'5 guy weighing 320lbs of almost solid muscle dropping his entire weight on my head would knock me out.
ReplyDeleteDo that on concrete and you will feel if it isn't that much worse...or not. ;)
ReplyDeleteI always call his Sharpshooter, The Polite Suggestion. A submission is trying to force an opponent to submit, but his is so weak it looks like he's suggesting politely that said person give up.
ReplyDeleteYou ever been in the rack? It seriously hurts. I thought my friend was going to rip a muscle in my abdomen.
ReplyDeleteGuy's wrong on #10: Nobody taps out to a sleeper. And #11: The Undertaker has absolutely been pulled off the ropes during Old School. Bulldog did it. Mark Henry probably did it too.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe Attitude Adjustment isn't on there.
ReplyDeletewell, if he were 6'5 they might. but at 5'10 or whatever, yeah, absolutely.
ReplyDeleteWhy would someone downvote this? This is one of the best things RVD does.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! And the way Mick Foley explained it "Yeah the ECW fans have some very specific likes and dislikes... which is why you'll notice I've left Mr. Socko at home this evening."
ReplyDeleteIt would be fine if it was used as insulting "Fuck you" type of move to your opponent... as a legit finisher it is almost 619 level stupid.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your friend was doing it wrong.
ReplyDelete;)
Sting agrees. Loudly.
ReplyDeleteRusso doesn't just nuke disbelief... he then drops a second nuke on whatever remains to make sure he got it all.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fairly high impact move that can be done to almost anybody. It's one of the few things that don't require all that much suspension of disbelief.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere in deepest, darkest Africa, there are still a few men that are fluent in Kamalian.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't make it relevant.
He sold the RKO better than anybody ever. Nobody even deserves to be considered for number two.
ReplyDeleteLOOK AT HIM GO MARTY GARNER ON ORTON'S ASS!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av0MEoxhExU
Kind of like "adult movies" do!
ReplyDeleteYeah, if you watch a small package it's supposed to be inside leg and neck are hooked (and hands are locked) and outside leg is hooked between the two legs of the pinner, ain't no one kicking out of that.
ReplyDeleteWhich I believe was partially responsible for Mick to debut Barbed Wire Mr Socko in his Wrestlemania match against Edge.
ReplyDeleteIt has absolutely no flair to it, Cena kills whatever heat it might have by twatting about so he's facing the hard camera and gurning when he hits the right position, and it looks like he just drops them off his shoulder (which he does). At least the Rock Bottom looks like it could potentially knock the wind out of someone - the AA looks like it wouldn't keep someone down for a second. People have to sell it like they've been shot.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely hate it when Cena pauses to gurn before delivering the AA, especially in his last Wrestlemania match against The Rock when he went for the People's Elbow in a repeat of their previous encounter only to trick Rock into the AA which is a perfectly fine bit of storyline telling in the match but then completely ruins it by pausing to flash an irritating shit-eating grin which allows Rock to reverse to the Rockbottom completely fucking up the story of the match. The story should have been simply Cena learning from his mistakes from last year but instead we got a AA/Rockbottom wankfest full of stupid Cena looking possibly constipated or violently aroused facial expressions!
ReplyDeleteAnyone trying to powerbomb Kidman. Or hitting Hulk Hogan in the head during his Superman comeback.
ReplyDeleteB-b-but it's Cena! All his moves must be shat on! Though, the AA would be better if it was a straight DVD, but no head dropping says that'll never happen.
ReplyDeleteBecause he's a high flyer of the highest caliber!
ReplyDeleteSo did GLOW, I think. And I know it goes with the character, but Starman (from a certain indy I won't dignify) "pausing" himself. I also saw a comedy match with Phantasio (yes, THAT Phantasio) where he slow motioned everyone.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is why I miss the days when wrestlers of different sizes were treated differently. Hardly anyone could get Andre off his feet, then you had Big Show laying down clean for the stunner in his debut match.
ReplyDeleteHome Run Chipperson
ReplyDeleteI always thought the Flatliner was a reverse Rock Bottom. So, similar to a DDT in that the guy receiving it takes the bump on the forehead.
ReplyDeleteBret Hart's Figure-Four around the corner pole (where Hart would be outside the ring) - you often could clearly see that the other guy was holding onto Bret's foot to keep him in position.
ReplyDeleteI don't quite understand that criticism. You're taking someone's vertical base out and shoving them down on their face with all your body weight behind them. That would knock someone out IRL.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how that's really more aggravating than most wrestling finishers. A chair shot to the head in RL is more damaging than 99% of wrestling holds.
ReplyDeleteIt's just one arm being held in position, and very often if you're doing it like the Paydirt or whatever not even an arm. Then you get into the whole working theory of body control, which doesn't really jibe with science but you kind of have to accept if you want to consider wrestling (ie if you mean to fall, it doesn't hurt).
ReplyDeleteFOOOCK YEEEAAH!
ReplyDeleteWhich explains his aversion to the cold steel steps.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that Uso ends up with his head between her legs every night so it was no surprise to him.
ReplyDeleteHis opponents should kick his leg out of his leg?
ReplyDeleteIt's the one move he could never counter.
ReplyDeleteThe one that irritates me the most is a singles wrestler cleanly beating a tag team in a match. Unless you're the size of the Big Show or powerful as fuck, this simply should not happen.
ReplyDelete"Basically, these are all moves that require one wrestler to lie there, prone, for an extended period of time while his opponent does a gratuitously ornate sequence
ReplyDeleteof rituals, hand signals, dance moves and catchphrases -- only to
culminate with a low-impact move like an elbow drop or a chop"
This applies to almost every Ladder Match and Cage match in existence
I never understood the science of the swinging neckbreaker (and to a lesser extent the side Russian leg sweep)
ReplyDeleteI think you're right
ReplyDeleteOr the F5. I know they sell it as being devastating, but really it's just a pancake slam.
ReplyDeleteYeah. A proper Death Valley Driver can look pretty brutal, but he just kinda dumps the guy and it looks like nothing special
ReplyDeleteYeah, that ruins finishers in general for me. When they can take all these plunder shots and kick out, but something as anticlimactic as the Stroke can end it
ReplyDeleteIn theory, yes, but it never looked very good in execution
ReplyDeleteYeah...and just the simple fact that those spots were in every match kind of exposed the business in a general way.
ReplyDeleteThe Bronco Buster and the top-rope diving headbut are in a tie for the pinnacle of retardation. Let me just run and ram my junk onto some dude's chest...that will DEFINITELY hurt him more than me.
ReplyDeleteThe suspension of disbelief kind of starts at finishing moves for me. In the real world, if there was one move that is more devastating than another, then everyone would be going for it. It wouldn't be isolated to just one guy's repertoire. And certainly not limited to the final minutes of a match. So debating the real world application of any wrestling move is kind of futile
ReplyDeleteThe out-of-nowhere impact moves, like the flying forearm or a superkick, are convincing to me because they could legit knock a dude cold. In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing guys like Brock Lesnar winning with one stiff strike or submission rather than an overly-'pro wrestling' move like the F5. (Not the glancing Lex Luger forearm show either).
ReplyDeleteHmm.
ReplyDelete1) Batman used it on Bane in B:TAS (no, really). And Sonya did it to Kano in MK!
2) Really, he could've added "grab a bald guy by the head and lead him around the arena"
3) A really good one could make this work (Charles Robinson, Tommy Young). Some ref got SMOKED by Nikita Koloff one time against Luger - that was a believable one.
4) The Apter mags (OF ALL THINGS) gave an explanation to this when talking about Savage's Flying Elbow: "When he goes up, you're halfway out of it, and when he hits it, you're ALL THE WAY out of it". Yes, I compared the Worm to the Macho Elbow. Hit me with a pie.
5) No suspension needed - it's worked for generations
6) I can see a 300+lb. guy grabbing me by my legs and flinging me effortlessly into the air.
7) It's not like the turnbuckles are made out of down, yeesh.
8) Are you a guy who tried to crush a beer can on his head, only for that ish to hurt? Yeah, let's try that again, only make the can bigger and your hand able to bench 400lbs.
9) Cannot argue with this one.
10) Let's see - 1) Take is holding the guy's arm, not the other way around, and 2) as stated before, people have pushed him off.
11) It's CZW. That's like taking bodybuilding tips from Dusty Rhodes.
Also, someone made the NWA's "Danger Zone" video available on Youtube. It's roughly an hour, but there are some SERIOUSLY business-exposing clips on there, and the whole thing just seems really bush-league, even for 1987. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/5ib4X5odB4s
Yeah, it's not good when the victim's legs are at a nice 90 degree angle instead of being folded back over his ass. I never understood why Sting and The Rock never bothered applying it properly.
ReplyDeleteThree words: Roll The Dice.
ReplyDeleteWho the hell lays on the ground long enough for Hogan to run back into the ropes to drop the leg? Most moves that require a guy to stay down long enough in the perfect position for someone to hit a move don't make sense. If you're in a fight, you're not going to just lay there in a supine position, staring at the ceiling.
ReplyDeleteI always looked at the Bronco Buster more as a taunt. Like, dude knows he's winning so he's just gonna flail his nuts in his opponent's face. And it's X-Pac, so that makes sense.
ReplyDeletemy 'fans'
ReplyDelete