Greetings.
Today's question comes from fellow staff member Ryan Murphy.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. No question about it. I admire the man so much it borderlines on ridiculous. I honestly think I'd tear up a little bit at first because of how excited & honored I would be. I'd love to talk to him about working out, and being 7 times Mr. Olympia, the drama with the 1980 contest, how he feels about Franco winning the next year, what he thought about the WBF, and of course all of his movies. He's such a charismatic, well read, intelligent guy, and I honestly think we'd get along really well.
As for who I think I could bed? Honestly, there really isn't a female out there I don't think I couldn't get. I'm a confident guy who's built like a brick shit house. As for who I'd want it to be, pornstars not included, well...if it's just sex, probably Nicki Minaj. 45 inches, man. 45 inches. How could I say no to that? But if we're talking a date or something, probably Sophie Simmons.
How say you?
check out scrublife.wordpress.com, just updated with a new article, The 4 Most Fucking Frustrating Moments In My History With Nintendo.You can also follow your boy at @CaliberWinfield
Today's question comes from fellow staff member Ryan Murphy.
Here's one for ya: say you're waiting for a flight in an airport lounge late at night, and the only other person there is someone famous. What celebrity would you want to have a legit conversation with? By legit conversation, I mean, you're talking to them as people and relating to them, not just "I loved you so much in ______". Who do you reasonably think would be cool to talk to and would want to talk to you? And if theyrre the opposite sex, who do you think you could talk into bed?
Arnold Schwarzenegger. No question about it. I admire the man so much it borderlines on ridiculous. I honestly think I'd tear up a little bit at first because of how excited & honored I would be. I'd love to talk to him about working out, and being 7 times Mr. Olympia, the drama with the 1980 contest, how he feels about Franco winning the next year, what he thought about the WBF, and of course all of his movies. He's such a charismatic, well read, intelligent guy, and I honestly think we'd get along really well.
As for who I think I could bed? Honestly, there really isn't a female out there I don't think I couldn't get. I'm a confident guy who's built like a brick shit house. As for who I'd want it to be, pornstars not included, well...if it's just sex, probably Nicki Minaj. 45 inches, man. 45 inches. How could I say no to that? But if we're talking a date or something, probably Sophie Simmons.
How say you?
check out scrublife.wordpress.com, just updated with a new article, The 4 Most Fucking Frustrating Moments In My History With Nintendo.You can also follow your boy at @CaliberWinfield
Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro. Just so I could feel like I'm in that badass coffee shop scene in Heat.
ReplyDeleteI love ya Caliber but that 1980 contest was the most clearly rigged thing I've ever seen, and I watch pro wrestling every day :D
ReplyDeleteFirst part? Ice-T. If you listen to him spit game about life you'd see he is a very interesting dude.
ReplyDeleteSecond part? Erykah Badu. Any woman that has a sex game strong enough to make the most hardcore rapper dress like George Clinton has me curious.
Probably Barack Obama or David Plouffe the campaign manager from his first campaign... I just feel like there is so much to learn about organizing and publi policy there... from a guy who was still a "Real Person" less than a decade ago so it wouldn't be coming from someone who grew up with it like a Kennedy or something.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other question... there are obvious answers like Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus since they are clearly huge sluts that anyone that buys them a few drinks could nail... but if we are talking who you could legit use game on or just click with I am going to say Gwen Stefani... just always felt like she is someone I would really get along with.
And Caliber I have to say, its good that you take pride in taking care of yourself but I feel like you someone should tell you that you come off really badly when you talk about what great shape you are in... it makes you seem desperate for attention... and honestly from the couple of times you have posted pictures of yourself... you really don't look like you are in that great shape... not saying you aren't... but I don't see anything remarkable. I am sure this will piss you off but I'm not trying to be an asshat just offering up some well intended advice... all that said I still think there is a market for the bodybuilding/fitness thread you once proposed here.
Mick Foley. I think me and him would get along good. Same ridiculous sense of humour, etc.
ReplyDeleteAs far as women? I don't know. I don't have any game, no confidence in myself, and have a low sex drive (depression does that). If I wasn't like the way I am? Lacey Chabert.
That's my second choice, Lacey. She's ridiculously hot, and get's no mention. Ever.
ReplyDeleteShit, Nick, why so down on yourself?
Really, based on the people I know Depression seems to give them a disturbingly high sex drive...
ReplyDeleteFirst time I've ever heard that. A low sex drive or libido is a VERY common symptom for Depression.
ReplyDeleteJack Nicholson, and it's not even close.
ReplyDeleteDefine Famous--cause I've HAD conversations with the Micheal Elgins and Kevin Steens of the world
ReplyDeletereal celebrities, John Stewart is a bundle of interesting conversation
Female i could actually talk into bed...Um, whoever the most recent one to fly of the handle and do a bunch of stupid drunk shit.
Of Course I'm 18...half the depressed people I know are depressed BECAUSE they aren't having sex...
ReplyDeleteThat and daddy issues, anxiety about university, and bullshit politics of high school social circles...yay youth!!!
Part 1: God. I want to talk to him mainly about what it was like working at Backlash 2006.
ReplyDeletePart 2: Sarah Nicola Randall or Lucy Pinder
Honestly, when I talk about how big I am or whatever, I'm almost always doing it in a joking manner. Because of how ridiculous a lot of guys are when they lift weights. But I won't lie, I'm a big dude who looks pretty damn good if I do say so myself.
ReplyDeleteHere I am doing my "Lethal Weapon 3" pose. I've put on about 10lbs more muscle since this one
http://scrublife.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/fxcam_1363881467896.jpg?w=505
Then here I am from about 3 months ago, about the same time I took the Lethal Weapon pose. I'm a little bigger, and drop some in the body-fat department. http://scrublife.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/img_20130518_080649.jpg?w=490
I mean, I'm no Cena or John Morrison. But it's because I don't want to be. I'm an average guy, with an average amount of bodyfat, but with about 60lbs more muscle. Because when a guy with ripped abs and stuff tells people their program, the average guy looks at that thinks "Fuck, that's impossible". But with me, I'm just big as fuck, without being fan, and the average guy can obtain it if he's willing to work for it.
My answer to both questions is Rashida Jones.
ReplyDeleteIce-T is the man. Great choice. He was on the Adam Carolla podcast, and I could have listened to him talk for hours. And looked at his wife for hours.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's "the Blue guy"! (and the second pic violates the new no porn rule)
ReplyDeleteJust fucking with you.
I know what you're talking about. I lift to be in shape. I stopped trying to be Mr. Universe because I don't have the time or money to properly put into it.. but I like where I am physically.
Haha, oh, I clearly agree. Arnold himself says he was a fool for entertaining it, but I want to know what he thinks about it being rigged. Clearly the event was a rematch between Zane & Mentzer, and they go and fucking give Mike the 5th spot, when I honestly think he should have won the thing. He was in prime shape. And then next year, Franco's win was even a bigger load of bullshit.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm just a naturally bigger guy. Back when I first started lifting, I wanted single digit bodyfat. I got down to 172lbs, which is like most average guys getting down to 130lb, and I still couldn't see my abs. Plus, all the large amounts of cardio I was doing, and eating like a punk was costing me a lot of muscle. I then said fuck it, started eating a ton of clean food, doing simple cardio 3 times a week, and tadow. I much prefer to be an imposing figure than a cover model.
ReplyDeleteYeah, all I've ever heard or experienced is that depression absolutely kills sex. I'm sorry to hear about this, Nick. I hope you're able to get the help you need.
ReplyDeleteAmanda Bynes? Man, she was smoking hot in Easy A.
ReplyDeleteI went vegan for a year and went from 210 to 160. After all that I still couldn't get six pack abs (decent but not full blown).
ReplyDeleteAlthough I felt better physically, I wanted to be a little bigger.
That's why I added chicken and fish back. Now I cycle: Vegan for 3 months to clean myself out/then add chicken and fish for the next three.
Yeah, I was depressed for years. I had to train myself not to give a fuck about other peoples opinions and it made me feel better. Hope you can find what you need to get through this.
ReplyDeleteFor mine: Tom Hanks seems like someone who would just be a great guy to shoot the shit with on just about any subject. Listening to him on Nerdist made me think he's either a mastermind at presenting himself as the most likeable, down to earth guy alive, or the much more likely scenario that he really is just an awesome guy. And you can damn sure bet he'd be friendly and wouldn't pull a star trip on you.
ReplyDeleteMy secondary choice is Ryan Gosling, because he grew up across the river from me in Cornwall and then moved to my old stomping grounds in Orlando, so we'd have a lot to talk about. Third choice is the guys from Rancid, since they're both one of my favorite bands and huge, smarkish wrestling fans. Although I did meet Lars Fredriksen once and jibbered like an idiot.
As far as women go, its far fetched, but Natalie Portman is known to be kind of a nerd and a little bit of a hippie free spirit, and I think I could draw her into a charming enough trap to maybe win her over. Plus she dated Devendra Banhart so clearly she's into hairy bearded dudes.
Read his bio if you get the chance.
ReplyDeleteAs for who I think I could bed? Honestly, there really isn't a female out there I don't think I couldn't get. I'm a confident guy who's built like a brick shit house. As for who I'd want it to be, pornstars not included, well...if it's just sex, probably Nicki Minaj. 45 inches, man. 45 inches. How could I say no to that? But if we're talking a date or something, probably Sophie Simmons.
ReplyDeleteDude, you and I are a lot alike. It's odd you don't like me, because we apparently have a lot in common!
ReplyDeleteI've read a lot of dumb things in my day, I used to be Facebook friends with Jesse Baker, but that is without a doubt the dumbest. You clearly don't know any women. At all.
ReplyDeleteThe only celebrity I'd even recognise in an airport is Kevin Nash.
ReplyDeleteI bulk up really easily... but I am also short (5'5") so I just don't think it would be healthy for me to be really buff (this is one of the reasons I despise Rey Mysterio) so I have decided to go the other route. I do intense cardio 7 days a week. I run for 65 minutes on an elliptical or treadmill (set to change speed/incline automatically based on my heartrate) and I do between 10 - 13 miles in that time... I don't track my body fat but it has to be quite low... in addition to that I do some weight machine low weight high rep so I stay firm/toned... don't want to turn into a bag of skin.
ReplyDeleteI watch my the calorie count of my diet religiously and eat at maintenance or lower all the time. There is a lot of history of heart disease/diabetes/high blood pressure etc... in my family so this is very important to me to stay healthy... and it helps me to help others improve their life at times which is what I really like to do.
Yeah, you need to go away for a while. No reason for personal attacks. There's a line between criticism and just combative, rude behavior. You drove a tank over that line.
ReplyDeleteBarack.
ReplyDeleteI have a buddy whos a personal trainer and he went in your with Nicki Manja to keep her dancers and shit in shape. He claims to have gotten head from Nicki, and claims it was incredible.
Fuck if I know, the only dirt sheets I follow are of the wrestling variety.
ReplyDelete1. Bill Maher. I find myself agreeing with a lot of his views, but I'm personally interested in what seems to be his blind spot about being so dogmatically anti-religious. I'm not really religious myself so it's not like I want to try and change his mind or anything, but I have a theory that famous figures who spout off about how horrible religion is usually have some life trauma that sparked the perpetual rebellion.
ReplyDelete2. Someone stole my Rosario Dawson answer, so I'm gonna go with Amber Tamblyn. She might not resemble the standard ideal of a beauty queen, but I'd snatch that up in a minute.
How is that personal? I 'attacked' what he said, not who he is. I highly dispute that 'being built like a brick shithouse' will get him every woman in the world.
ReplyDeleteAnd let's keep in mind that caliber has attempted to insult my physique many times in the past. Would you like to rethink your comment now?
ReplyDeleteYou win.
ReplyDelete1. Larry Bird or Peyton Manning. My answer could be completely different tomorrow, but you have these fellas who were portrayed as nothing but hicks or rednecks with athletic tools. Then, when you actually hear them talk for an extended period of time, you realize they have the sharpest of wits, an enormous capacity for memory/knowledge, and are incredibly successful for many reasons. However, as a native Chicagoan, I'd want to avoid discussing the 86 and 87 NBA Playoffs or the Super Bowl from seven years back.
ReplyDelete2. Cop out answer just a bit, but no one. I don't think too many L.A. indoctrinated female celebs would like my Christopher Walken meets Jeff Goldblum way of talking. And, yeah, I love my girlfriend.
Not getting into it with you. We're going to be Fonzies here--we're going to be cool.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you 1 million up votes for the Pulp Fiction reference. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteDidn't specify living-or-dead, but George Carlin.
ReplyDeleteOne of those attainable celebrities like Jenna Fischer or something. I don't know, unless they are outrageously hot, they are just people at the end of the day, in a hypothetical setting you could bed just about any woman if you have enough confidence.
ReplyDeleteIf you've never seen it, look up the interview that Ahmad Rashad did with Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. I respected him so much more after that.
ReplyDeleteOverall celebrity - Jerry Seinfeld
ReplyDeleteTalk into bed celebrity - Lindsay Lohan...pretty sure anyone can talk her into bed.
i suffer from depression and most of the time i dont even care about sex-related stuff
ReplyDeletegranted, having been rejected at every pass since i was a teen has kinda given me a reason not to be optimistic about success in such things, and i'm too old to start thinkin' i have a chance
Caliber, I think you'll really like this story: http://imgur.com/aDQwM5E
ReplyDeleteCelebrity Conversations you say!
ReplyDeleteEveryone should give Meekin + Aaron Sorkin, Meekin + Morgan Spurlock, and Meekin + Vidal Sassoon a google!
Doug, I've never once attacked you. If I've ever said anything to you in an insulting manner, it was never unprovoked. The only time I ever spoke about your body was when I said I thought you were overweight, and made an honest offer to help you lose weight if you'd like.
ReplyDeleteI love a girl like Amber Tamblyn.
ReplyDeleteI was clearly wrong about this-- i've made the mistake of aplying personal experience to the wide-spread phenomonon. When i was "I wonder how long it would take me to hit the ground if I jumped off this bridge" depressed my libido did the opposite of suffer. Most of my friends are female, and I know of a lot of depression induced sexual encounters. (and there is some seriously depressed people in that circle--bleach drinking, suicide attempts, etc.)
ReplyDeleteI figured it was the whole pursuit of instant gratification to escape reality thing. I'd wager that what someone's depression is rooted in changes how it affects you. Depression is a lot more complicated then "They are sad"
'Depression is a lot more complicated then "They are sad"'
ReplyDeletepreaching to the choir, brah
but for me, its the combination of chronic dysthmia and learned helplessness
I can see that--clearly My life has given me an odd sample to observe
ReplyDeleteYeah, Anxiety disorder coupled with a sometimes faulty self-esteem here.
ReplyDeleteI weigh 175. I'm fine.
ReplyDeleteMore then fine--you a god damn twig son!
ReplyDelete1. Henry Rollins. I've heard the guy in enough interviews and on enough spoken-word albums to know that listening to him talk would be a great way to kill a couple of hours.
ReplyDelete2. Nobody. I have no game. I married a girl that I started dating when I was 19. My only move is, "Become friends, make a nuisance of yourself, and keep asking her out until she says yes," and I just don't have enough time in an airport bar for that to play out.
Person I would most like to have a conversation with in an airport late at night: Norm MacDonald. The guy is laid back, funny as fuck, reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. I think we would get along.
ReplyDeleteBeing a married guy, I don't want to answer the second question because shit has a way of finding you on the internet, and I have a bipolar spouse, and that's a whole lot of explaining. So I'm going to say Rose Byrne.
1. I'm a huge fan of lots and lots of different people, that I like and respect much more than than this guy, but if I could talk to any celebrity in that scenario its 100% got to be Vince McMahon! I would be out of my mind to hear Vince talk about Obama, the economy, the city he was going to, hot girls, even the fucking weather. Could you imagine how epic that would be. Without even getting into wrestling, but man if the conversation switched to wrestling...
ReplyDelete(My #2 choice would be madden)
2. I don't know as though it would be that great but I think I could get (or at least have the best chance) with Blossom. Mayim was in graduate school at my college while attended and its fair to say we traveled in overlapping circles. So I could play the "hey do you remember so and so" game, and talk bruins b-ball. She's not the hottest celeb but she's definitely pretty and famous, and I think I'd have a outside shot (assuming she was single).
" I don't know as though it would be that great but I think I could get (or at least have the best chance) with Blossom."
ReplyDeleteI wanted to bang her best friend on that show.
A fellow reader has emailed me a picture of you. I'm fine with my physique, thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh man, Jenn Von Oy is smoking hot now, grew up to be a PAWG...
ReplyDeleteMan, my condolences on having a spouse with mental issues. It's no pick-nic, and takes a hell of a man with a ton of understanding to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Norm is funny as hell.
seriously, c'mon, who the fuck downvotes this? Who the fuck has the balls to dislike Henry Rollins and rockin' romance?
ReplyDeleteAm I suppose to be bothered by this or something? I posted two photos about 20 responses down. I'll email you one too, if you'd like.
ReplyDeleteGeez, man. If you run for an hour every single day, you must be razor thin with a resting heart rate of 2BPM.
ReplyDeleteHahah, absolutely brilliant.
ReplyDeleteSteven Spielberg to talk to, long-time fan of his work and love to know more of his process (as he refuses to do DVD commentaries) plus, be nice to let him know at least ONE person out there who doesn't think Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is an utter travesty.
ReplyDeleteTo get into bed? Well, keeping it realistic knowing my personal limitations but I'd go for Lindsay Lohan, always a fan even when she was a bit of a mess.
Llol... not sure what my resting rate is because I will NEVER remember to do that shit before I get out of bed... but yeah when I start running (usually right after work which requires almost no physical effort from me) it is in the 70's or low 80's on rare occasions.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny how many people have said Lindsay Lohan... I wonder if she knows that she has fallen so far that virtually every guy on Earth thinks he could bag her.
ReplyDeleteHey man, I've been there. I was the Founder, Mayor, Protector, and Mayor's Assistant of the Friendzone. I'd been rejected so many times it's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what, don't ever think it can't happen for you. No matter what. Stick to who you are, and never waver. That's how I've always led my life. Sure, I was rejected quite a few times. But the two women I've felt the strongest about in my life, the women who, to me, were the hottest I'd ever seen in real llife, were just as into me, and I was just as much their type. Never comprise yourself.
There's no easy way out, there's no short-cuts home.
I saw Mean Girls on TV the other day, and it's insane how hot Lindsay was at one point. Even if she didn't have an ass.
ReplyDeleteVin Scully, hands down. I wouldn't even want to hold down a conversation with him, I'd just listen to anything and everything he'd want to talk about regarding baseball.
ReplyDeleteThe joke in "This is the End" where James Franco confesses he slept with a drunk Lohan had me rolling.
ReplyDeletePluys, she's married to David Cross of all people, so all you have to be is funny!
ReplyDeleteYes. She has quite the fatty.
ReplyDeleteNicki Minaj.
ReplyDeleteTub o'lard
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between being confident and being completely fucking delusional.
ReplyDeleteHey, Dougie may be 6'5", in which case, he'd be emaciated.
ReplyDelete1. Anthony Bourdain. He's well-travelled and highly opinionated. I think half the flight we'd talk food, the other half we'd talk about the places he's been.
ReplyDelete2. Alia Shawkat. She's not uber-famous and she's not everyone's cup of tea. I think that would help overcome any lack of confidence on my part. Plus, I'd love to see how far down those freckles go.
Geddy Lee. Rush is my favorite band, and the trio has been performing at such a high level for 40 years, with the same lineup, and have always seemed to retain their good-natured, down-to-Earth quality. They still put off a killer show, too, at 60 years old. I'd love to have a drink and shoot the shit with Geddy.
ReplyDeleteJulius Caesar.
ReplyDeleteSaw them last month (for like the 20th time) in Ft. Lauderdale and yeah, they still bring it.
ReplyDeleteOr Napoleon. I speak French, so I'd probably have an easier time talking to Napoleon.
ReplyDelete1. Talking to Dusty Rhodes in the bar in the Atlanta airport was great, but as far as celebrities go, I'd say Keith Richards or Clint Eastwood.
ReplyDelete2. Sara Underwood. Hot, funny, nerd, seems pretty cool in real life.
You think you could talk Napoleon into bed? SICK FREAK!
ReplyDeleteCaliber, I had no Idea you were secretly Erick Rowan. #followthebuzzards
ReplyDeleteMan, I want that Badu pussy so bad!
ReplyDeleteand she gotta donk!
ReplyDelete1. Lots of names go through my head but I'll go with Quentin Tarantino. Big fan of his movies and in interviews he seems to know a lot and seems funny. 2. Been there, done that. I guess celebrity is stretching it as she's not some huge name. But she's an actress who had a prominent role in a tv series (although not main cast). Met her at a mutual friends party, complimented her on said role, talked for hours and just hit it off.
ReplyDeleteWell that took a bit of a turn.
ReplyDeletethats.... creepy...
ReplyDeleteUpvote just to prove the downvote didn't come from me.
ReplyDeleteName or it didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteI can not stop laughing at these posts.
ReplyDeleteDo some core exercises and maybe you will get some abs.
1. i don't wanna have convos with celebs cuz the majority of them seem too fucking weird.
2. Tamia. Grant Hill's wife. Funny story. I'm in LAX headed back to Orlando (Grant was playing for Orlando at the time I believe) and I see this bad ass chick walk up to the desk right before you board the plane. I'm on the phone with some broad. Then I see Grant Hill like 20 seconds later limping. I'm like "oh shit Grant Hill... he must have gotten injured"
Then I thought "oh shit, that's Tamia! She bad as shit!"
So I wait until they sit down and I go up to Grant and ask him for a picture. He struggles to get up, but then I sit down next to Tamia and say "I loved your album Imagination" and hand him the phone.
My iPhone got ruined so I don't have the pic no more.
Eh, I guess it didn't happen then. Just feels kinda sckeevy to name names. Also, and this isn't something I'm proud of, she was married at the time. She claimed to be on the outs with him yet they stayed together last I heard. But like I said, unless you were a fan of this one particular show, you would have no idea who I'm talking about.
ReplyDeletedude, you totally scored with mrs. ochmonek!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. You edited after I said something. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you're talking about.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. I won't sleep for a week.
ReplyDeleteMaynard James Keenan. Not just because I'm a huge fan, but because he seems like a really interesting guy.
ReplyDeleteWomen? My first thought was Maria Sharapova, but she seems to be only into really athletic guys. I think I could pull in Ellen Page though. And the singer from Halestorm, who's first name escapes me at the moment.
didn't know who that was so I googled it. Thems some big boobies.
ReplyDeleteshes nice to look at.
ReplyDeleteThis guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3VOVbXHq3w can get any woman? Caliber is a work, right?
ReplyDeleteEhhh... I couldn't stand that nasal whine of his for more than a few seconds at a time. Although I will say, the best role he ever had was as Death on FG. Can't believe they replaced him with Adam Carolla.
ReplyDeletestadium full of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo...
ReplyDeleteI don't think they wanted to replace him, Norm just had other commitments.
ReplyDeleteIf someone asked me "Why did you drop out of school?" (I should note that I got my GED 3 days after I turned 17), I could just copy an paste your post as an answer. Yay youth, indeed.
ReplyDeleteHey, I got my Good Enough Diploma right when I turned 17 too. High-Five for being GED buddies.
ReplyDeleteIt's gotta be a work, it just has to be.
ReplyDeleteI like to think of myself as an in shape Jim Anvil, or Bill Demott. Rowan's not bad, he's tall as hell, but doesn't have my size.
ReplyDeleteShhhh
ReplyDeleteRemember that time I lost the edge, that....eye of the tiger? Then you took me to the roughest gym in Cleveland until I could run faster than you on the beach in my knee-socks and cut-off sweat-shirt?
ReplyDeleteI had to google it, and at first just the links came up. I saw she'd been in NUTS magazine, so I knew before I even saw the images that she'd have an awesome rack, and brunette hair. I assume she's also British, so, fine choice.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're at it, don't forget to check out the books on amazon, and scrublife.wordpress.com as well as wcwin2000.wordpress.com.
ReplyDeleteThose videos aren't bad, but I need to create a new format, make'em much shorter until I can up the production values. Video quality on those things make it look like a snuff film is about to happen. Either way, thanks for the plug ooknabah, I usually don't like to push my own stuff.
Fuck high school, that shit was awful. Let's see, deal with a bunch of bullshit and politics that would make Michaels, Nash, and Hogan say "Dude, that's fucked up", or go have an actual job and come home with $100? Yeah, at 14 I'm taking the money. I really don't have any high school horror stories, just because I spent as little time there as possible. But I hated every minute I was there, I know that much.
ReplyDeleteYou should probably push it into a furnace.
ReplyDeleteshes hot
ReplyDeleteI choose to believe the downvotes are people saying, "Don't be so hard on yourself, you're more desirable to members of the opposite sex than you think you are." Now, if you'll excuse me...
ReplyDelete/sits in the bathtub and cries
Haha. That is awesome. Grants to classy to show it but was probably a little heated.
ReplyDeleteBut that would ruin it, wouldn't it? Why would I do that?
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was a couple of reasons. The first being was that in 8th grade, I was bullied like a motherfucker. I have a bit of a mouth on me, and the first few times these much bigger guys gave me shit, I made asses out of them, and then paid the price for the entire year. No joke, I was bullied so bad I'd get sick before school just thinking about it. I missed almost 50 days that year. All the guys who gave me shit were a year older, and the school I was at went from 6 to 9th, so after that year, they were gone. However, once I was done with 9th grade, I'd move up to the high school, where they'd be. I wasn't going to go through that again. I'm not talking verbal shit either, I'm talking get my ass kicked. My lunch stolen. My coat. My CD's. I mean, these cocksuckers were text-book in their bulllying. I know for a fact it's one of the underlying reasons I work out, and insist on being so damn big, and insist on being as intimidating as possible. No one's gonna push me around again, and if I even think someone else is doing it to others, I'll crush every bone in their fucking body.
ReplyDeleteSecond reason was because the teachers didn't care. Since the first grade schools always wanted me to be placed in advanced classes, skipped grades and such, so I was always rather smart. Not saying it to brag or anything, it's just how it is. Well, with the American school system, the last place you're gonna be challenged is, well, at school. The teachers didn't give a shit, and I didn't give a shit. It was all too easy, and I didn't want to waste my time. No joke, seeing the moving Office Space sealed the deal for me in 9th grade.
For a long time Tarantino would've been my answer but I don't think I could really keep up with him if we started talking movies. Music, maybe, and we could probably smoke some weed together.
ReplyDelete1) I'm not really that interested in very many celebs, many I would just ignore even if they fell right into my lap somehow. I'll answer Anthony Bourdain first, and Bill Murray second.
ReplyDelete2) I dunno, I'm not really the shy type so if I got it into my head that I should talk to pretty much any female celeb then I'd certainly give it a go. Who do I think I'd have a reasonable shot at? That's pretty hard to call. As long as she's fairly free spirited, smart, and not too Hollywood then I'd wager a fair chance.
Not ANYONE. Just anyone with a good hook up and a few dollars.
ReplyDeleteI too did the very same.
ReplyDeleteHigh school was bullshit.
"The teachers didn't give a shit, and I didn't give a shit."
ReplyDeletePretty much. As they said in Bullworth, don't even get me started on the schools, ain't no education going on in that motherfucker. I caught a lot of shit too, mostly because my mom is gay, but also because I'm an anti-social guy to begin with. Or at least I was at the time, like the Charismatic Negro said, I eventually stopped giving a fuck what other people thought. It was always just verbal though, no one fucked with me physically because I had a reputation for being a fucking lunatic that would use anything I could get my hands on to defend myself with. Once I split some assholes head open with a glass Coke bottle people knew to not fuck with me.
...it's magical from what I can tell. Especially since she filled out after having 1,000 kids.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I can see a buff Anvil, for sure.
ReplyDelete