Skip to main content

Impact Wrestling - September 26, 2013

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 26, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We're less than a month away from the biggest show of the year and somehow the top heel is Dixie Carter. Bully Ray is busy with the rejects known as Aces and 8's while AJ Styles is being called Mr. Marginal by a woman famous for having a husband named Surge and tweeting a lot. But remember, everything is FINE in this company. Let's get to it.


We open with the usual recap of last week's events.

Dixie Carter arrives and blows Sting off, basically telling him to stay out of her business.

Here are Bully and Brooke to get things going. Bully says it's not easy to take the words out of his mouth but Dixie did it last week. He's been up every night wondering how he can beat AJ Styles since AJ won the Series. Now it doesn't matter though as Dixie is inside AJ's head. AJ should be kissing the ground Dixie walks on for making him phenomenal. Ray stops to ask if we know who he is and here are the remaining Aces and 8's.

Knux does the talking and says the same thing he said last week: Ray needs to stop thinking about his ho and start thinking about his bros. Ray says he's the president and the rest of their patches should just say lackey. They need to fall in line and remember what he did to the former members of this club. Tonight it's Main Event Mafia vs. the three of them and if an Ace loses, they're out of the club.

Joseph Park is shaving while singing Sweet Caroline when Eric Young and ODB come in. Eric says Park needs to use a safety razor to prevent the civilians in the back.

Bro Mans/Gail Kim vs. ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park

This is a result of Robbie getting beaten by both Young and Park in a combined 12 seconds last week. The girls start but it's off to Robbie vs. Joseph before there's any contact. Robbie can't slam Joseph so Park slams him down for one instead. Jesse and Gail slow Joseph down before the Mans send him into the buckle. Jesse hits a good looking dropkick and avoids a seated senton from the big man. Robbie's middle rope elbow gets two but Park comes back with something resembling a Samoan drop.

The referee misses the hot tag to Eric and it's Gail in to get in some cheap shots. Back to the guys who are clotheslined down by Joseph, allowing for the hot tag to Eric for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and ODB sends Gail to the ramp. Robbie pulls back to hit ODB so she shoves his face into her chest. Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on Jesse, setting up a middle rope splash from Park, a top rope elbow from Eric and a splash from ODB for the pin at 6:26.

Rating: D. WAY too long here for the story they were telling as there was nothing going on out there. Park cleaned house, Park got beaten down, Park made the hot tag, ODB breast joke, pin. Somehow that took nearly seven minutes to get through. I'm over the in your face comedy stuff with ODB, Park and Young but they're clearly not going anywhere.

Austin Aries says he'll explain his future plans in the ring.

Hulk Hogan says he'll fix everything.

Here's Aries with something to say. He says it was just a year ago when he was headlining Bound For Glory and even though he's not doing that this year, he's still the main eventer. This brings out.....Kenny King? Kenny says he's tired of hearing everything Aries is talking about when it was Kenny King making headlines last year when he became X-Division Champion. Then the headlines changed to King being ripped off by Frail Sabin. He was ready to get his belt back but then someone got in the Manik costume and stole the X-Division Title.

That would be Austin Aries, who hasn't been the future or Generation Next (ROH reference) in about ten years. Now it's Kenny King's time but Aries cuts to the chase by saying he's ready right now. King says that just like Hilary Clinton says before she takes her clothes off, “you don't want none of this”, before decking Aries. Austin fights him off and says let's do it right now so here's a referee. Aries doesn't wait and dives at King on the ramp to start the match after a break.

Austin Aries vs. Kenny King

Back with Aries pounding away on the floor before heading back inside, only to be taken down by a leg drop and caught with a jumping elbow in the corner. King is busted open BAD, likely off something on the floor. Aries comes back with chops and an atomic drop before rolling over King's back to set up a release STO. The pendulum elbow but King spins out of the brainbuster. Aries loads up the 450 but King comes back with a super Tazplex for two. Austin shrugs it off and hits the running dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine with both guys getting to show off a bit out there. I'm getting curious as to what Aries is going to do at the PPV as he really doesn't have anything going on right now, though that could be said about a lot of big names. King could be worth something in the X-Division if there was enough competition to fight him.

Lei'D Tapa is coming. It still should have been Ivelisse.

Chris Sabin brags to Austin Aries about being greater than the greatest man that ever lived. Velvet still looks uncomfortable. Sabin and Velvet leaves and Aries says he'd like to test Sabin's theory.

We recap the end of Ray/Aces and 8's from earlier.

The Mafia is getting ready but Magnus is frustrated by EGO. Sting tells him to calm down and focus on the bikers tonight.

We get a quick recap of AJ vs. Dixie from last week.

Here's Hogan to make everything better while also taking a bunch of money and not really improving anything. Hogan talks about being here for about four years now and being GM, meaning he's in charge of the day to day operations of this show. You never air your dirty laundry in public, and that's what's happening with Dixie and AJ. The fans seem to think AJ Styles should stick around and Hogan wants AJ out here to hear that himself. No one comes out so Hogan says we'll do this later.

Kurt Angle is back at BFG.

Someone named ETHAN is coming.

X-Division Title: Manik vs. Chris Sabin

Manik is defending and gets a quick two off a cross body. Sabin jumps over him in the corner but goes down grabbing his knee. Sabin limps around the ring and leans on Velvet for help, allowing Manik to become the stupidest man in wrestling by falling for it. The distraction lets Sabin pop up to the apron and kick Manik in the face to take over. Back in and Manik jumps over Sabin in the corner before putting on something like a Sharpshooter's mentally disabled cousin.

A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Chris before Manik busts out kicking combination #6 and a standing flip attack gets two. Velvet's distraction lets Chris get two off a rollup but Manik catapults Chris into the corner. Back to the same leg lock from earlier from the champion but Chris reaches out for the ropes, only to grab Velvet's hands. He drags her inside but the distraction lets Manik counter a rollup into a pinning combination for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: C+. I just don't get the appeal of Manik. He's fine in the ring and does some nice stuff but I don't get his popularity. The leg stuff was smart here and it furthered Sabin's heel turn, but the match wasn't much better than average. Also, wasn't Jeff Hardy involved in this feud?

Sabin pounds on Manik until Aries makes the save. Velvet looks shocked at what Chris was doing.

Garrett Bischoff tells Aces and 8's to keep it together. Knux is ready to go.

Kurt Angle is still back at BFG. That hasn't changed in the last 20 minutes. Here's the same video in case you were confused though.

EGO thinks they should be in the Hall of Fame and suggest they should make sure Magnus loses again tonight. Bad Intentions laughs maniacally but Roode just stares at them, refusing to join in. Daniels: “That's how villains laugh. Come on Bobby.” Roode walks away. Funny stuff.

Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8's

If the Aces lose, whomever loses the fall is gone. Magnus pounds away on Knux to start but Garrett comes in to be suplexed. Knux and Brisco immediately dive in for the save and everything breaks down. Cue EGO to beat up Magnus who is left holding his knee as, making it 3-2 for the time being.

Back with Sting still in trouble and Magnus not on the apron. Knux chokes on Sting a bit and it's off to Brisco for a chinlock. Sting finally fights up and dropkicks Wes down and there's the hot tag to Joe as the Aces are all taken down. The backsplash gets two on Brisco and everything breaks down. The Stinger Splash crushes the bikers and there's the Clutch on Brisco for the submission at 10:07.

Rating: C. The match was ok but it illustrates the problem with the remaining bikers: even with an advantage they were trampled by a pair of former world champions. Why would anyone care if Brisco is gone? He's done nothing at all and is just another lackey. The match was fine but the conclusion was never in doubt other than which Ace took the fall.

Post match Ray comes out and demands Wes' cut but he won't give it up. The fans chant NO, so Bully orders Garrett and Knux to take the cut off of Wes. They hesitate so Ray yells at them and lays out Wes himself with a clothesline and a piledriver. They're told to take the cut off again or Ray will piledriver Brisco a second time. Knux and Bischoff begrudgingly do what Ray says. Bischoff holds the cut out to Ray but Bully wants Knux to hand it to him. Ray tells Knux to not let the people get in his head before handing him the cut. Knux and Bischoff pick up Brisco....and we need to watch Hogan walking in the back.

Hogan is in the ring to call out AJ with his double theme music. Hogan has a long term contract for AJ to sign but AJ doesn't look happy. He picks up the pen and finally signs, saying he's TNA's. This brings out an overly smiley Dixie Carter who talks about why she signed Hulk. He was brought in to open doors and that's exactly what he did. She's very grateful but Hogan is just an employee. Dixie makes fun of AJ Styles' accent and rips up the contract, telling AJ can get out of his ring.

AJ leaves so Dixie goes on a rant about how no one knows how tough she has it. She knows how tough it is because she's in the 1% of people that get to make decisions like she does. Yes, they're seriously going with this story. Hogan now has a week to fall in line and join Team Dixie or else.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show for the most part tonight as the middle of the BFG card is starting to come into focus. The elimination of an Ace is always a good thing as they've been around for about a year too long at this point. The Dixie/AJ/Hogan stuff makes me roll my eyes but at this point it's hard to complain about anything not named Aces and 8's. Decent, but not great show this week.

Results
ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim – Splash to Jesse
Austin Aries b. Kenny King – Brainbuster
Manik b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8's – Koquina Clutch to Brisco

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new e-book of Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FF492XM

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Comments

  1. Chris Shore: "Whatever your opinion on the Dixie storyline, there can be no question that with less than a month to hype Bound For Glory, your biggest show of the year, it is dumbfounding that the champion is dicking around with the guys at the absolute bottom of the card while his challenger is getting punked out by a woman. What in the hell are they doing?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. On top of that, there isn't even a personal reason for these two to be fighting because TNA spent two months on a tournament then had to throw in a bonus match to get AJ in the title match at all. They have four PPVs a year and THIS is what we get for a build to the biggest one?

    ReplyDelete
  3. At least they have a strong undercard booked...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Now that you are back, I wanted to tell you that you were right not to give TNA that chance last year. You were totally right.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks. It's never too late to admit that I'm right.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bring back Jarrett. And monthly PPVs. And pole dancing sluts.

    And for God's sake, quit fucking around and put the strap on Scott Hall where it belongs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Heel Dixie is Ayn Rand and Styles is the 99%. This company is marvelous.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Roughly 30 percent of the crowd left during the taping of the second show." #EVERYTHINGISFINE

    ReplyDelete
  9. TNA is the best promotion there ever was at taking a no brainer main event storyline that the fans have been clamoring to see...and then taking a titanic dump on it and ruining it.


    How many times have they done this over the years? We're in double digits by now, aren't we?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh TNA...what the hell are you doing?

    ReplyDelete
  11. How many times?


    How many times have I said this over this year?


    "TNA will fuck it up by October."


    "TNA is terrible."


    I will say it again, don't get your hopes up with TNA. Its lose-lose every time.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The thing that frustrates me the most: they can be entertaining. No Surrender this year was really fun and it featured no Hogan, no Carter, and no stupid stories. It was a show about the title and how much it meant to so many people.


    Then this happens and I'm continually astounded that this company made it to 2003.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pretend for a minute that Vince/HHH/etc. don't have a problem with TNA alumni having the "TNA stench" on them. Who on this roster do you think would actually bring something worth watching to WWE?
    Bully Ray would of course be great on the mic, Aries would be great in the ring, and I think all three members of EGO would be solid all-around performers. Knux can fit in as a member of the Wyatt Family; Manik might fill the in-ring and merchandise void that Sin Cara isn't filling; Jeff Hardy would be popular as usual; the Bro-Mans gimmick is nice, though I could take or leave the actual wrestlers behind it; and Magnus has some potential that I'd imagine WWE would like to explore. And you'd definitely want Sting as a part-timer for some PPV dream matches.

    ReplyDelete
  14. whut? I thought their roster was seeming pretty deep of late.

    ReplyDelete
  15. MAYYYYYYYBE they'd have some interest in Bobby Roode because he's about the right size, but probably not. I mean, they already have guys like Cesaro/Barrett/Sandow who are exactly the same type as him but already better than him in the ring and/or mic.

    And MAYBE Samoa Joe has a shot to get in because he's boys with Punk and Cena, and they'd obviously wanna work with him.

    And maybe Magnus, cause he's pretty young? But it's not like he has any name value or anything, so they'd probably just rather look to their own system.
    And yeah, Sting for a Mania match and DVD.

    Honestly, I think that'd be about it.
    Aries— Too small, reputation of being a pain in the ass.
    Bully- already gave his gimmick to Ryback
    Manik- he's a nobody under a skelaton mask. They could give that gimmick to Justin Gabriel or someone they already have.
    Knux: Jobber with zero name value who they released 5 years ago.
    Angle- ticking death timebomb that they probably wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole, so that when he dies WWE can say "Kurt Angle hasn't been employed by us in x years."
    Jeff Hardy: See Kurt Angle.
    Bro-Mans: HAHAHAHAHA. No.

    ReplyDelete
  16. WWE might call on Angle, Sting, and/or Jeff Hardy for a Wrestlemania match.


    They might throw Punk a bone and sign Samoa Joe to a Developmental contract. Possibly Magnus as well.


    Nobody else can work WWE style, and most of the rest are all either too old, too green, or have too many strikes against them to take a chance on.

    ReplyDelete
  17. There's plenty of talent on the current WWE roster. The issue is booking and not being willing to elevate anyone. bringing in Impact guys to add to the midcard won't help. If WWE was interested in any of these guys they'd have signed them already.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know if there's a Cornette face that's Conrettey enough for this nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  19. honest question: Has Jeffy Hardy gotten into recent trouble?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I guess it depends on what you consider to be a deep roster. When I see Zack Ryder and R-Truth hovering around the main event out of necessity and a combination of The Shield main-eventing every RAW/Smackdown (in lengthy matches) for the past two months, that looks like a thin roster to me.
    Maybe the issue will be solved when some guys come back from injury/hiatus (Kane, Henry, Mysterio, Sheamus, Jericho, etc.) but right now it seems they could use some depth, especially in the tag-team division.

    ReplyDelete
  21. ryder and truth are there as a part of 10 "locker room guys" who weren't doing anything better. 10 babyfaces who were able to be folded into that story, plus Cody Rhodes, who is also part of the story.

    That's 11 midcard faces. how many midcard faces do they need?

    Like, how many wrestlers do they need?

    Also, you're talking about guys being upper card- how often does the 'E bring in outside, unestablished talent and make them top guys?

    ReplyDelete
  22. WHO IS JOHN GALT?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pritchard was fired for sucking as an agent. He ain't coming back.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yeah he sucked as an agent, unfortunately. His booking was methodical, but it generally made sense. I've got a really low bar nowadays.

    It's a shame that there are real bookers out there who would work for 1/5th of what Hogan and Bischoff make who could book a better show drunk.

    ReplyDelete
  25. But Bischoff is already booking.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Gabe Sapolsky

    ReplyDelete
  27. Those spoilers are the most positive thing I've seen out of them in months.

    ReplyDelete
  28. It's just like WCW in the last ~year of their existence. Circling the drain.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Also, it'll be great to have Sting in the Hall of Fame and all that, but I don't want him in a nother match again, with his bald spot, withered frame, and forgotten ability. All I want is the nice 2-3 DVD set that is SO long overdue.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I dont think so since he came back after the "Victory Road incident", but at this point I just don't see him being worth teh headache/risk for WWE.



    I mean, is Jeff Hardy really going to move the needle? We're seeing that even Brock Lesnar means much to ratings or PPV, and he hasn't spent the last 4 years in TNA devaluing himself.


    And WWE probably figures that Hardy's chances of relapse would only increase if he was wrestling a fulltime WWE schedule, and doing crazy ladder bumps and all the other shit he needs to do to get over.


    That Victory Road incident, where he basically derailed an entire PPV, was just such a disaster that I can't imagine why WWE would risk it happening to them when Hardy's upside is so limited at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The only question now is... Does BFG end up with the lowest number of buys of any "major" wrestling event in history? Basically, any WWF/WCW/ECW/TNA show ever.

    I'm thinking this could do like 3,000 buys or something, especially since it's sandwiched in between two WWE PPVs.


    Wow, it really is amazing how completely off the rails terrible the whole promotion has become. I wonder what guys like Joe/Roode/Storm etc think backstage when they watch Dixie and Hogan pretty much kill the company on-air.


    Anyway, at least ROH should get a nice talent influx pretty soon.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I honestly believe that someone in TNA is sabotaging the product.


    They self destruct year after year, in almost the same fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  33. They won't take a chance on Angle again. He burned his bridges on the way out

    ReplyDelete
  34. I really think the fault is Dixie. She hired Russo, Hogan, & Bisch, she's a complete mark for anything they say and has no other wrestling knowledge and clearly just runs whatever Daddy gave her. Couple that with being a famewhore as evidenced by this recent ridiculous storyline.

    ReplyDelete
  35. that's all fair, I was just curious if he had done some BS that I hadn't heard about.

    ReplyDelete
  36. "since that time he was fucked up in the ring with Sting."


    I'm not advocating for Hardy, just checking if he's fucked up again since then.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I pretty much left 90% of my opinion in the live thread... but after a few minutes to think about it, TNA's fucking up even more than I gave them credit for.

    ReplyDelete
  38. My God, look at this company just six months ago, packed with some top talent in Knockouts and tag guys and bringing in fresh faces with Gut Check. Now they're whittled down huge, dragging out dumb storylines more than usual and we're supposed to buy Dixie trying to be Vince? Ugh, just so damn sad to see them fall like this.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Bret Hart nuked his bridges. Never say never.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment