Skip to main content

The PG Era Rant: Monday Night Raw, 9-9-13

When last we left our heroes, Robert Griffin III was suffering from a knee injury he may not have needed to have had.  Meanwhile, Andy Reid was being shown the door after 14 years.  Now, a new coach enters the Eagles’ locker room, while Washington looks to defend their division crown with a healthier defense and…
…what?  Oh, right.  Wrong heroes.  I have to review the ones who stand on stage and do nothing.  Rats.

On tonight’s show: Randy Orton faces Goldust, while Edge appears.

- The PG Rant for Monday Night Raw, September 9, 2013.

- Live from Toronto, ON.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler.

 - And Edge opens, as they waste no time popping the crowd.  I have to say, this is a welcome change of pace from the last two weeks.  He still looks just wrong without long hair.  And it wouldn’t be an Edge intro without Tony Chimel popping a falsetto on “Superstar”.  We’re going to open with The Cutting Edge.  And even the Cutting Edge is “best for business”.  The guest will not be Christian, but it will be Randy Orton.  But that would be boring, says Edge.  And it has nothing to do with cashing in (thank you for finally saying that), but with his subservience to HHH.  So it won’t be Randy Orton either.  Crowd hopes for Daniel Bryan, and they get it, even overstepping Edge’s setup line.  But first, we look at Big Show’s emasculation last week.  Bryan reminds us that HHH threatened his health last week, and yeah, he was hurt.  But he says that no matter how bad it is, it’ll all be worth it when he wins.  The crowd is electric for Bryan and Edge.  Edge puts over the “low indy past” of Bryan, and says that they’re living childhood dreams.  Edge says he doesn’t know who will win on Sunday, but Bryan deserves a fair shot.  And now the money question: does Bryan believe he can do it?  Can you shove all HHH’s plans in his face?  Is he the face of—oh, sorry, time to interrupt this feelgood segment as Randy Orton comes out alone.  No HHH makes me happy.  Orton goes for the cheap heat early, and says it’s a shame that Edge’s body failed him young.  Crowd gets on Orton’s case, so he responds by holding the belt up.  Edge says Orton, the face, acts “like an entirely different body part”.  “I may have problems with my spine, but at least I have one.”  BURN!  Edge says HHH doesn’t know how to pick talent because he doesn’t think Dani… aw, man, here’s HHH.  We almost made it through the opening segment.  HHH allows Edge to say it straight TO him.  And since Edge isn’t a WWE employee, he can say what he wants.  HHH was apparently against Edge, Jericho, Cena, and Bryan, and that HHH can’t see past the nose on his face.  Well, heck, who CAN?  HHH plugs Haven on Syfy for Edge.  Because it’s good for business.  HHH admits he was wrong on Jericho and Cena, and it’s too soon on Bryan, but he was 100% dead on about Edge.  He says Rated R was a failure because he never drew a dime.  Pot, kettle, black.  But all anyone has to do is prove him wrong, and that’s what our main event is for tonight: Bryan v. Ambrose.  But to counteract Rollins and Reigns, Big Show will be in Bryan’s corner.  HHH: “It would be so much easier if everyone would just learn to get along with me.”  I love shoot comments that aren’t meant to be shoot comments.  Hey, Toronto, that chant isn’t PG.  Edge drops the marriage card.  HHH cuts off another non-PG comment.  HHH says it’s okay for Edge to say it because he’s too crippled to fight, so instead, he had Shield beat Christian up backstage.  HHH is slowly learning how to be the mafia don and allow Orton and Shield to be muscle.  Also a good way to write off Christian.  Crowd was red hot for this segment, but it was a lot more of the same: HHH says stuff, Bryan says stuff, Bryan’s put in a trap match.

- Backstage, Edge storms into HHH’s office and says he wants a piece of HHH.  HHH asks who Edge is to try to take over HIS SHOW.  Toronto is apparently HHH’s town.  Ambrose’s smirk is great in the background.  HHH ejects Edge from the show.

- Kofi Kingston v. Curtis Axel.  This is a rematch from SmackDown, but apparently still non-title.  Axel works the back to start, dropping the big elbows.  Dropkick follows, getting one.  Axel chokes Kingston against the ropes.  Kofi leaps out the back of a back suplex and begins the comeback.  Flying forearm misses, but a blind charge by Axel eats boot.  SOS connects, but Axel’s in the ropes.  Heyman is trying to grow a beard.  Axel suckers Kingston into a boot to the head.  Mudhole stomping in the corner as the fans chant “Walrus”.  Axel with a series of knees to the back, and he won’t stop so the ref DQs him at 2:12.  LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.  1/2* Yeah, I know, if Axel does that Sunday then Punk gets Heyman.  And I’ll give them credit: the fans get it.  Heyman berates Axel to keep his temper.  But it’s not Sunday, so Axel isn’t done.  This allows Kingston to hit Trouble in Paradise on Axel.  At this point, Axel basically HAS to win over Punk, or he’s a dead man walking.

- Ooh, a career retrospective on Goldust.  I mark for Goldust.  Deal with it.  Dustin Rhodes for Hall of Fame.

- Backstage, Heyman slips on a wet spot and is injured.  Or so we’re supposed to believe.  Heyman refuses WWE doctors and says he has his own.  This is so transparent.  I love it.

- We look back at Big Show being emasculated again.  I still say Bryan should have been in position to win.  This takes us backstage as Booker T wants to talk to Big Show.  He tells Show not to be a hero, and just to think about his family.  Did Booker T turn heel and I wasn’t told?  He says those feelings of heroism are pride.  Just be professional.

- And in perfect cutting, we go to the Wyatt Family, and the first quote is: “They been lying to you, man.  There is no such thing as a hero!”

- Dolph Ziggler v. Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt with the first shot, knocking down Ziggler and tossing him into a slam.  He does the inverted corner taunt, but runs into a dropkick.  Rowan is disposed of, but Wyatt steamrolls Ziggler.  “Is this not what you asked for?”  And with that, we go to commercial, so I guess the answer is: not really.  We come back with Ziggler elbowing out of the chinlock, only to get yanked down.  Wyatt with a falling headbutt into a chinlock, which Ziggler jawbreaks out of.  Avalanche by Wyatt misses, and Ziggler with a Stinger Splash and ten-punch countalong into a neckbreaker.  Showoff elbow gets 0.9.  Famouser gets two.  Ziggler dodges the disciples, but Wyatt gets the avalanche in the corner.  Sister Abigail ends it at 6:35.  Was the mid-match commercial break necessary?  *1/4  Just to point out, we’ve had nine minutes or so of wrestling in the first hour opposite MNF’s season debut, and a good three and a half of it was in the commercial break.

- For the record, the Eagles are up big on the Redskins, so maybe RAW is going to get lucky.

- Hey, Tommy gets to review another Edge appearance, on SmackDown.  Why would HHH have him on after tonight?

- More Goldust.  I’m happy.

- Meanwhile, Heyman is out on crutches.  First hint: he’s inconsistent with the leg.  Second hint: it’s wrestling.  Crowd smells a rat.  What’s health clare?  Heyman’s personal doctor is with him.  Crowd appears to be chanting “We don’t care”.  Heyman says he blew his knee out, so he’s out of Night of Champions.  Would he lie to you?  And he really wanted to be there, too!  The insincerity is wonderful.  So Heyman must leave Canada and head to New York.  But wait, here comes Brad Maddox in the Jack Tunney role, and he has a WWE doctor with him.  Lawler and JBL put over the doctor as the one who helped Lawler during his heart attack.  Maddox makes it clear: Heyman’s not out of the match unless the WWE doctor says so.  So did this doctor diagnose Shawn Michaels’ smilectomy back in the day?  I wish I’d been there.  Crowd chants “This Is Awkward”.  Seriously, why can’t this be done during the commercial?  The doctor calls Heyman’s bluff.  And now, CM Punk interrupts Heyman’s tirade with some Kendo Stick Therapy, and Heyman very spryly runs away.  Lawler: “It’s a miracle!”  I bet Jerry booked this segment.  Punk takes it out on Doctor Whatshisname.  Crowd: “KILL THE DOCTOR!”  And he does.  Entertaining crap.

- You know, a random thought so I’m not bored during commercial: is it just me, or does it seem like the focus of Bryan/Ambrose is on Big Show and not Bryan?

- Layla, Aksana, and Alicia Fox v. Naomi, Brie Bella, and Natalya.  AJ Lee on commentary.  Aksana and Naomi start, and Naomi gets an atomic drop and butt-butt for two.  Naomi cuts off a charge and goes up, but Aksana cuts her off and pounds away.  Layla with a hangman’s choke on Naomi, followed by a dropkick for two.  AJ rants on commentary to overshadow the match.  Layla works the leg and cuts off a tag, but the legdrop misses.  Hot tag Natalya (Brie pulled her hand away in a nice touch), and Natalya cleans house on Fox and company.  Blind charge misses, and a slam gets one.  Aksana is dumped, but Natalya gets a discus clothesline and Sharpshooter on Fox for the tapout at 2:52.  I’ll live with it.  1/2* I’m not sure why I reviewed that match when I’m supposed to care about AJ and Total Divas, but eh, such is my commitment to my craft.

- R-Truth v. Alberto Del Rio.  Even champions need someone to squash.  Syndicam interview with RVD during intros.  A struggle during a lockup, but ADR controls with a shoulderblock.  He taunts too much, and Truth slaps ADR and works over him in the corner.  ADR kicks away and works over Truth in the corner as the crowd chants for JBL for no reason.  Truth blocks a backdrop and clotheslines ADR out (on the second try), following with a plancha.  Back in, crowd chants for Jerry.  ADR with the run-up enzuigiri.  And there’s the Cole chant for the trifecta as ADR pounds on Truth on the outside.  Back in, he gets one and goes to the chinlock as the fans are distracted by something.  Truth fights out of it and gets a sunset flip for two.  ADR races in with a lariat and mushroom stomp on Truth’s back.  It gets one, and we go back to the chinlock as the crowd finally decides to focus on the match and chant for RVD to interrupt it.  ADR runs into a leg lariat, and the comeback begins.  Front suplex gets two.  And now the crowd wants Undertaker.  Please, crowd: shut up.  You’re embarrassing yourself.  Axe Kick is missed, and ADR slams Truth.  Running superkick leads to the armbreaker for the tapout at 4:49.  Crowd didn’t care, and there was no drama in the match so it’s hard to blame them.  *

- Usos, Real Amercians, 3MB, Tons of Funk, and Prime Time Players will face off in a gauntlet match to see who faces the Shield.  That’s your kickoff match.  Nothing wrong with that.

- Antonio Cesaro v. Santino Marella.  Zeb Colter chews out Canada for being a bad ally.  Please mention how they housed deserters during Vietnam, since that would be in Colter’s character to hate Canada over.  But no, he doesn’t.  Boo.  But hey, Santino’s back!  Don’t tell anyone he’s Canadian, because he’s Italian.  Cesaro gets no entrance.  SPEED WALKERRRRRRRRR!  Sorry, obscure reference.  Cesaro races in with a dropkick.  He pounds on Santino and gets a Karelin suplex.  Santino tries to fight out of it, eventually weakening Cesaro and getting a roundhouse, but Cesaro trips him and gets a VERY LONG giant swing.  Crowd pops for this spot.  Seriously, he’s getting something like 30 or 40 spins.  Santino is too dizzy to stand, so Cesaro pounds away.  Santino ducks a clothesline and begins his comeback with the salute headbutt, but Cesaro kicks the Cobra (really) and gets a European Uppercut for two.  Cobra is disposed of, and a belly-to-belly slam gets two.  Charging uppercut in the corner gets two.  Santino shakes out the cobwebs (probably from the giant swing) and catches Cesaro taunting, and a judo throw into a cradle wins it at 3:43.  The giant swing alone is worth a full star.  **1/4 Sue me, I loved it.

- Damien Sandow v. The Miz.  Some feeling out to start, but Sandow with elbows to control only to get run over.  Crowd’s on Sandow’s side.  Miz with a suplex and he just shrugs off the heel heat.  Sandow works Miz in the corner, but Miz reverses with the through-the-ropes clothesline.  Axhandle off the top gets two.  Knees to the back by Miz as he’s got no issue working heel, but Sandow trips Miz into the ropes and delivers crossface blows and a hip to the neck for two.  Sandow stomps away and drops the knee for one as this match is a bit incoherent.  More knees leads to the Russian legsweep and Cubito Aequet for two.  Guys, just let Miz work the heel role here.  Chinlockery abounds as the crowd chants for Jericho.  Miz armdrags out and stops a blind charge.  Clothesline and kneelift into a big boot follows to the crowd’s contempt.  Hamstring kick by Miz.  And now Fandango appears to distract Miz, allowing Sandow to roll him up for the pin at 3:45.  Crowd is too busy dancing to care.  I’ve given up trying to explain the Toronto crowd.  Yeesh.  3/4*

- Meanwhile, Goldust is backstage to a HUGE pop.  He talks about how he’s the family’s black sheep and Cody is the good guy.  He’s not happy about HHH firing Cody and embarrassing the Rhodes name. Tonight, Cody gets his second chance that Dustin (well, it’s essentially Dustin) kept getting and not deserving.  But just at the end, HHH interrupts.  Rhodes: “I was doing better til you just showed up.”  You and me both.  HHH tries to get into Dustin’s head by playing up how much pressure is on Dustin.  Well, he IS the Cerebral Assassin.  HHH tells Dustin not to let the family down, and since Goldust was just talking about how he let people down, that’s heavy.  Credit where credit is due: that is some GREAT HHH dickishness right there.

- I just noticed about the Night of Champions promo shots: each champion is holding the belt in his hands and looking at it.  No, that’s not the part I just noticed, this is: Daniel Bryan is shown glaring at the camera, and his arms are positioned in the same way as the champs while he’s holding air.  That’s neat characterization.

- Randy Orton v. Goldust.  I will overrate this match in all likelihood, just a warning beforehand.  You know, Goldust/Piper should’ve been in the 30 Years of WrestleMania segment of WWE 2K14.  This is being portrayed as a McMahon/Rhodes family feud dating back to before I was born – and I’m not young.  Goldust storms Orton and fires off, but Orton cuts off the attack only for Goldust to keep it up.  Crowd meets every shot Goldust does with a YES.  Goldust stops a bling charge, pounds away, and whips him pillar to post.  Orton with a European Uppercut to stop it.  Back elbow by Goldust and Orton bails as the crowd is INTO this.  Crowd: “YOU STILL GOT IT!”  Damn straight.  Orton teases a countout before returning.  Orton teases a test of strength and kicks Goldust hard, with a European uppercut for two.  Orton chokes Goldust in the ropes, then whips him in, only to miss a dropkick and get cradled for two.  Goldust with a HUGE chop in the two different corners, but Orton with the thumb to the eye to stop momentum.  Orton with ten punches in the corner as Goldust slumps, and a very deliberate knee to the throat.  Orton stomps on Goldust’s hands, but Orton whiffs on a powerslam and Goldust cradles for two.  Orton is stuck in the corner and bails before Shattered Dreams can happen, allowing us to go to break.  We return with Orton in control, but Goldust fights out only to get uppercut.  Blind charge hits the boots and sends Orton bailing, and this time Goldust follows and sends Orton into the steps.  Goldust rakes the back, which might’ve hurt more if he didn’t have gloves on.  Orton drapes Goldust on the top rope and whips him into the steel post from the apron.  They tease a countout, but Orton exits to break it up and back suplexes Goldust on the barricade.  Goldust eats steps on the outside, and it gets two.  Orton with the Garvin Stomp on Goldust, getting two.  Back to the chinlock.  The crowd rallies behind Goldust, which is a great sign.  Goldust punches out of it only to get nailed with a knee to the gut.  But it’s a bulldog out of nowhere by Goldust to cause a double KO.  Goldust with clotheslines, but Orton puts his head down and gets the kneeling punch.  Now the crowd counts along with the ten punches.  They tease a ref bump, allowing Goldust a cradle for two.  Orton is able to recover with a draping DDT.  Orton does the YES chant to rile up the crowd in a brilliant bit before going into RKO Mode, but Goldust ALSO catches him in Cross Rhodes for two.  Same spot as last week, and it’s JUST as effective in firing up the crowd.  Now ORTON cradles Goldust for two before getting the RKO to win at 14:48.  Great old-school match.  ***1/2  And to respond to people in the thread, according to NBA Jam, he IS on fire.  Orton taunts Goldust post-match and ties it into winning on Sunday.  If you don’t love Orton’s work, why the hell not?

- Los Matadores.  Eventually, they will wrestle.

- Backstage, Goldust is inconsolable.  Stephanie rubs it in, dropping the nice girl act, then fires him.  Cody’s comeback is going to pop the crowd huge, but how does it happen?  Even JBL, the toady he is, can’t condone what just happened.

- Sidebar: Raw has my permission to have a main event consist of Dusty Rhodes destroying Mr. McMahon.  Make it happen.

- Rob Van Dam v. Ryback.  Huh… RVD is doing the same “empty belt hands” pose.  Interesting.  Alberto Del Rio’s back out to taunt RVD and Ricardo.  RVD kicks away to start, and gets a dropkick as the crowd chants Goldberg.  Rolling monkey flip goes nowhere, and Ryback with a huge elbow and pounds away.  Ryback goes CLUBBERIN, THEY BE CLUBBERIN TONY and does an overhead suplex.  He slams RVD’s head on the mat and does an abdominal stretch.  RVD fights out and blocks with feet, and after a series of reversals, RVD gets the stepover enzuigiri and Rolling Thunder for one.  Running wheel kick by RVD and he goes up with a flying cannonball senton for two.  Back up top, and a flying kick floors Ryback.  Five-star looks to finish, but Ryback rolls out and suckers RVD into the barricade off the top.  Ouch.  Ryback sends RVD crotch-first into the post, and the match falls apart at 2:59, presumably by DQ.  Ryback adds Shell Shock for the hell of it.  Man, I have SO much confidence in RVD now on Sunday.  *1/4  By the way, because I like Ryback’s bully character, I have to add: Ryback was saying “Stupid” to RVD at random points in the match.

- Stephanie finds Big Show and tells him not to touch the Shield or he’s fired.

- Main event: Dean Ambrose v. Daniel Bryan.  As noted earlier, Rollins and Reigns are in Ambrose’s corner, and Big Show will be in Bryan’s corner but can’t interfere.  Ironclad contracts aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on, are they?  Bryan pounds away on Ambrose to start, but Ambrose reverses and rubs a forearm in his face.  Ambrose works on Bryan in the corner, but Bryan reverses with kicks, causing Ambrose to bail as we focus on Big Show at ringside.  Shield huddles up and surrounds Bryan, but a distraction fails and Bryan with a knee to the gut.  Bryan with a snapmare and kick to the back, twice over, and a kneedrop gets one.  Ambrose runs over Bryan, but gets caught with a drop toehold.  Bryan stomps the arm and elbow, working the arm into a chickenwing.  Gorilla Monsoon would say he’s working the sub-scapular area.  Now Bryan works both arms into a bizarre pinning predicament for one.  Bryan goes to a bow-and-arrow surfboard, but Ambrose leans into the ropes.  He catches Bryan and does shoulder rams in the corner.  Bryan flips over on a whip and lands a running lariat.  Double-arm suplex follows, and Bryan goes up top, but Rollins distracts him and Ambrose sends Bryan to the barricade as we take a break.  We return with Ambrose still in control, punching away in the corner and getting a Hammer Throw whip into the corner.  He taunts Bryan and repeats.  But the third time Bryan dodges and Ambrose goes into the post on the ensuing charge.  Bryan with the cross-corner dropkick and repeated roundhouse kicks, then to the top for a Frankensteiner for two.  Yes Kicks follow, as Rollins advises Ambrose to catch one, but instead Ambrose ducks the final one only to get cradled for two.  Yes Lock is applied, but it’s 10:57 so Ambrose makes the ropes.  I hate being a smart sometimes.  Bryan kicks away in the corner again, but the cross-corner dropkick misses and Ambrose rolls Bryan up with the tights for two.  Ambrose taunts Bryan some more and goes ground and pound.  Bryan is put up top, but he sneaks out between Ambrose’s legs and puts him in the Tree of Woe for more Yes Kicks and a NASTY cross-corner dropkick before following with a belly-to-back superplex for two.  Crowd declares it Awesome.  More kicking from Bryan, but Ambrose dumps Bryan on a charge.  Reigns tries to spear Bryan, but he dodges.  Rollins misses as well, so Ambrose gets a Northern Lariat and DDT on the floor right in front of Big Show.  Back in, it gets two.  “Why don’t you stay down!?  STAY DOWN! STAY DOWN!”  Ambrose is rattled and gets off his game, so he gets small packaged for the win at 14:09.  ***  Bryan sends Ambrose into the Shield for good measure.  Show and Bryan lead a HUGE YES chant… and here’s Orton.  Crowd is all “NOT AGAIN” but this time Bryan dives onto Orton and begins attacking, only for Shield to follow.  Sorry, did you think this week would be different?  Show has a chair and stalks Shield, who freaks out.  Now, a side note: he’s allowed to touch Orton, right?  I know, me and my logic.  Show walks off dejected so that Orton and Shield can give us the same ending as the last bajillion weeks.  Orton taunts Show in particular before giving Bryan the RKO.  Show walks away as HHH and Stephanie come out and tell him to KO Punch Bryan AGAIN.  Good grief, a rerun?  Really?  After a lot of stalling, Orton gets in Show’s face.  Orton holds Bryan up, which is asking for a mistake to happen.  But nothing happens.  Show wants to refuse, and now Orton is yelling at Show.  But all the stalling allows Bryan to deliver the flying knee to Orton and celebrate with the title.  FINALLY!  A hope spot!  WHAT TOOK SO LONG?


Well, as you can see, they had ME fooled.

You know, it doesn’t take much to make me happy about a story.  I wanted to know that Bryan was going to be allowed to have a chance.  Now, I see him appear to have a chance.  He gets one over on Randy Orton, and all it took was a way for him to win.

We see the formula today: if Orton can’t put Bryan away right away, he’ll be frustrated, and no one capitalizes on frustration like Daniel Bryan.  That’s the key.  Now there’s a glimmer of hope.  Daniel Bryan doesn’t have to beat Orton pillar to post in order to win.  All he has to do is survive the flurry from Orton and the Shield, not get RKO’d (because that move is right now invincible), and then catch Orton with a moment of brilliance.

But now, the rant: why did they wait this long?  They had two Raws between the first one (which Orton had to come out on top of) and this one to prove that Bryan had a chance.  One of you hypothesized that the Raws that don’t bookend PPVs are phoned in, and if that’s so, it’s a wasted opportunity.  They need to do better pacing and do better with building up both sides.  That’s true 50/50 booking, not trading wins.

It’s being done cheaply in RVD/ADR (sorry, but the “non-title win leads to title shot” story is overused), and Axel is so far buried that if he doesn’t win he might as well be cut.  The Divas’ match has its own issues (heel AJ is being a brat, but if we watch Total Divas we’d be watching her challengers being brats and we don’t know who the good girl is).  The Tag Team Turmoil is a throwaway, which disappoints me.

But this show is being sold on two matches: Punk/Axel and Bryan/Orton.  Here’s hoping it works.

My predictions:

* Prime Time Players win Tag Team Turmoil and fall to the Shield.
* Dolph Ziggler is named Ambrose’s challenger, but Ambrose retains.
* Curtis Axel pins CM Punk after Punk gets too obsessed with Heyman.
* Natalya pins AJ to win the Divas’ Title.
* Del Rio retains over RVD.
* Bryan beats Orton by disqualification when the Shield interfere.  Big Show cleans house.


MATCH TIME: 55:52 over nine matches
BEST MATCH: Orton/Goldust
WORST MATCH: Kingston/Axel
NIGHT MVP (kayfabe): Is it Daniel Bryan?  You know the answer.

FINAL SCORE: 8.  Two very good TV matches in Orton/Goldust and Bryan/Ambrose combine with a great subversion of what we’d come to expect.  Throw in Cesaro/Santino as a fun short match and I can’t say anything but it was a good show.

Stay tuned for the post-game with Mike Mears and Scott Keith’s highlight rant.  If you’re still reading, thank you.  See you after Night of Champions!


  1. "He says Rated R was a failure because he never drew a dime. Pot, kettle, black. "

    Um, no. Trips was/is a much bigger draw than Edge.

  2. Mel Blanc was far better at drawing them either of them.

  3. Edge drew amazing Raw ratings for 2006, but then had his balls snipped. If he doesn't lose the belt right back to Cena, who knows how his drawing history goes down. As it is, he's the guy who (very nicely) carried Smackdown for four years.

  4. No way Punk gets pinned by Axel Sunday. Yeah, if Axel gets beat it really hurts his career, but guess what--- that doesn't matter. Axel's had his big push, he's not getting over, there's no reason to keep forcing the issue. Axels mid card at best. Punk's where the money is, and he absolutely gets the win.

    I'm guessing Punk wins and then a new Heyman guy debuts to save Heyman from the beating. My guess is Ryback.

    That, or Punk just obliterates Heyman and blows off the feud until Heyman returns with Brock in a few months.

  5. Exactly. Edge drew way more money than Trip's pet project Orton ever did, just by virtue of being the star of Smackdown for so long. He'll, I'd venture that Edge was more valuable than Batista ended up being.

  6. The Wrestlemania 21 buyrate refutes that one.

  7. Neither guy was a big draw. Edge did crazy business in 2006 when Cena was at his peak. Triple H did crazy business in 2000 when Rocky was at his peak.

    Both guys needed help to draw, I.e. they were not draws.

  8. I think they were draws in the same sense The Avengers was a draw? You may not be the biggest Hulk Fan, or biggest Iron Man fan, but the idea of seeing certain folks together makes you like them more.

    This is why Joker by himself in comics sucks, but Joker v. Batman is awesome.

  9. You're reading the wrong Joker comics.

  10. I kinda see where you're going with this, but the problem is that in both cases their best works were as heels. And in the WWF/E, heels have never drawn. It's not fair, because they did great work, but no one bought a ticket to see them. They bought a ticket to see Rock or Cena beat them.

  11. There's a difference between being as big of a draw as the Rocks, Austins, Hogans and even Cenas of the world and not being draws at all. The latter is arguably an accurate description for Diesel or mid-90s HBK.

    Edge and HHH are somewhere in between, with Trips between closer to the Austin/Hogan/Rock (and Cena) pantheon. Peak HHH was a bigger star than Edge has ever been. There's no way 2006 Edge with his one great Live Sex Celebration RAW rating was as big of a draw/star as 2000 HHH, who was the second biggest star in the company (due to Austin's absence) for a large part of its (financial) peak year.

  12. That makes them a draw. The draw is to see them finally get theirs.

  13. Well, put it this way: would you buy a ticket if HHH had been facing, say, Faarooq of APA, hoping to see a miracle happen? Would you buy a ticket to see Shannon Moore get a shot at Edge? This isn't being facetious: a heel draw is someone who makes you want to see ANYONE beat him. That's a rarity, and they weren't it.

  14. Watch TAKA v. HHH.

  15. Right, Batista was awesome in that angle and it drew super well. But then, save for awesome matches against Taker and his great heel run the last 6 months, Batista pretty much lived off that feud for the next 6 years. I mean as a baby face ace, what notable things did Batista do besides the HHH feud? He was quickly surpassed by Cena as the real star of the promotion, got injured a lot, and was in lots of forgettable B feuds. Of the three guys who got made at Mania 21 (Batista, Cena, Edge) I do think Batista had the most blah run from that night forward.

  16. That type of draw died when they started airing big time matches on TV. Can't penalize them for that.

  17. He did have the awesome heel run at the end. Sucks he left right as his character got awesome.

  18. Agreed- heel Batista could have been the shit for a few years. Awesome promo work. If he does come back ever again, I hope it's that persona. Especially now that he can claim to be a movie star AND undefeated in MMA

  19. But thats HHH showing enough vulnerability to make it seem Taka was a threat. The match is already happening.

    Going into the match, you see HHH v Taka on paper and think "Squash" and change the channel.

    That's what draw means...

  20. Trips was barely a bigger draw than Edge. Ftfy

  21. I am going to go out on a limb and say that one of those post game reports might not make it.

    I have known to be wrong on occasion though.

  22. Agreed. With the right build, Edge-Cena at Wrestlemania 22 could have been big. Cena-HHH could have waited

  23. That's why I bought Wrestlemania 19.

  24. Ah, October 2005-June 2006. That was the hottest WWE had been in YEARS and they were popping 4.0s on a regular basis again. Then it just all pissed away.

  25. Yea, but you want to see HHH get beat that the match sucks you in. Especially when TAKA brought out the APA.

    HHH was absolutely a draw in 2000. People wanted to see him get his.

  26. Too bad they didn't play up the Punk-Kofi friendship. Things would have been very interesting if they did that.

  27. Hey really enjoying your reviews, keep up the good work!

  28. Im not arguing whether he was or wasn't. I agree that he was a heel draw in 2000.

    You using Taka as an example is just a bad example.

    Because while people wanted to see him get his, it wasn't against Taka... or even Rikishi.

    He had to be programmed against top guys in order for him to work.

  29. If it makes you feel better.

  30. Some heel draws are bigger than others, though. Case in point: HHH and Edge.

  31. I want to apologize to all of you. I did not do my proper job as an heir to the Keith throne. I should've called that move in Cesaro's match what it was: the GIANT SWING OF DOOM. Really, how did I miss THAT?

  32. BOO THIS MAN!!!

    good review regardless

  33. Stuff like the TAKA match is what made him a great heel and a draw

  34. First off, Andy, good stuff, I'm enjoying the reviews from you.

    Second, that's you on NPP, right Fuj? I hope I'm not responding to a fake Fuj.

  35. I think you're taking the comments in the promo a little too seriously. He's just saying that kind of thing to get heat, and to build the 'best for business' character. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, most people aren't going to find an online database of weekly ratings and compare that.

    Honestly, losing the title back to Cena was a stupid decision, but I sincerely doubt the way, 8 month delay was the deciding line between the moderate success he had and becoming a phenomenon. Too many external and internal factors preventing the product from taking off at that point.

  36. DVR'd this down to about an hour twenty and it still felt too long. Orton/Goldust was awesome though. I think I watched about 5 minutes of the second hour. They're really feeling Cena and Sheamus not being there in the middle of the show

  37. To be fair, Orton could have drawn more if he had been handled better too.

    I mean, there was the debacle in 2004 after he won the title (when he had good, but not great heat)... then they basically just left him in limbo with nothing significant to do until about 2007.

    Then, he finally starts putting more of his own [clearly fucked-up] personality into his character, dropping the vague/generic cocky, arrogant, look-how-cool-I-am thing in favor of the slow-walking, head-kicking, detached sociopath obsessed with vengeance and domination.

    Legend Killer 2.0 was one of the most over heels for like 3 years, until he got so over.... they turned him into a face and (of course) neutered everything about the character that got him over in the first place.

    If handled properly, Orton could have reached 2007 form by 2005, and been a super hot heel feuding with the likes of Benoit, Jericho, Eddie, Mysterio, etc instead of just floating around.

  38. "If you don’t love Orton’s work, why the hell not?"

    I really didn't care one way or the other about Orton until he went Legend Killer 2.0 in 2007. That's when I started appreciating his work quite a bit and he became one of my favorite heels in recent memory.

    The slow-walking, head-punting sociopath that would be detached and emotionless 90% of the time, and then burst into acts of rage and violence the other 10% hit a nerve for me.

    I think I just appreciate that kind of heel, because it makes sense. We're talking about a fiction where every issue - personal, professional or otherwise - is solved with sanctioned violence. Between championships and blood feuds, it's a never-ending ladder-climb for dominance. It makes sense that the kind of people that would operate in such a universe would be psychologically questionable. A violent psychotic is a natural fit for that environment, and stood in stark contrast to all the PG-friendly characters that seemed comparatively out of place.

  39. In order to review Raw, you must bash Triple H and make false accusations.

    It's kind of like Bush-bashing: makes you look smarter, no matter what points you make.

  40. 2003 called, it wants its reviewer back.

    Fuck's sake.

  41. Truce Satan?

    Can we agree to hate this guy together?

  42. "I hate being a smart sometimes"

    Except you're not a smart. No smart would ever be acting like such a mark towards Triple H.

  43. What's it been since we argued, like two months?


  45. I think you're going out on a bee dick.

  46. Did they advertise the return of Goldust? I would have actually watched for that.

  47. It was a heel wrestling promo. HHH is working the 'smarts', who apparently aren't that smart.

  48. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 10, 2013 at 6:31 AM

    The Canadian crowds are great. They need to bring Wrestlemania back up there sometime soon.

    Great show. Just entertaining from start to finish.

  49. I can't read this rant again until you dial back the snark-o-meter from an 11 to an 8. Decent recap, wayyyyyy too much unfunny snark.

  50. Mel Blanc did the voices of the Looney Tunes, not the animation. Or was that your point?

  51. I agree completely, and almost wrote something saying the same thing. The comment about Michaels 'smilectomy' was made...why? If Shawn had actually appeared on RAW and been involved in that angle then maybe it work. But as is, it was just pointless.

  52. HHHate by association?

    Speaking of which, the HHHate was strong in this one.

  53. The snark to recap ratio was out of whack for sure. It was less of a recap and more of a thesis on why Andy hates Triple H and Orton, with a dig at HBK thrown in for shiggles.

  54. Wow, uh, did you even read the recap? At all? I am LOVING everything Orton does right now. I am praising his matches and have been for the entirety of my time here. I even gave HHH credit for fitting into his role perfectly in the opening segment and in interrupting Goldust's promo. And anyone who knows me knows HBK is my favorite wrestler, so I kid because I love. I'm sorry all you can see are reasons to roll your eyes because I'm not Scott, but if you feel that way, Mike Mears is RIGHT OVER THERE. Read him instead. I don't care.

  55. I read the whole thing. And I'm not rolling my eyes because you aren't Scott, I'm rolling my eyes because anytime Triple H made an appearance, even if you liked it, you had something idiotic and sarcastic to say. Which is annoying and cliché.

    And "if you don't like it, don't read it" is a sure sign that you won't be writing for long. I said above that I liked the recap, but it contains too much shallow, unfunny snark. You can take this as constructive criticism, or you can tell people not to read. One of these results in you growing as a writer, one results in you not getting read.

  56. It's easier to take as constructive criticism if your comment earlier didn't say "I'm not reading the recap again until..." That's just hostile. I dismiss you when you say stuff like that, and any writer would dismiss someone who is "constructive" by being that dismissive.

  57. In fairness, I misread a few things about Orton. I stand corrected on that part. I stand by the HHH piece though.

  58. I wasn't intending to be dismissive, more like direct. I'm sorry you took it that way, and I can see why.

    If you were to save the snark for a few deserving moments, it would be a smash hit. As it is, it loses its effect because its relatively constant. That's what I meant, I was just a dick about it.

  59. That's fair. Thank you.

  60. Snark comments work well when they're in context of the angle and storyline being discussed. they don't when they just seem random (which is why I pointed out the one about Shawn Michaels).

  61. Ah, that. It seemed in context to me because it was about a fake injury and the comment that doctors certify all injuries. But yeah, kind of off the page. I'm not as good as Scott is with snark. I'll work on it.

  62. They did mention it in the pre-show live look-in, which is what I try to summarize before each recap. So yeah, it was talked about. Not sure when the match was made.

  63. We all have to get used to the paradigm of "WWE knows what we're talking about and is actively trying to troll us." It's a cross between being kind of cool that they're finally taking notice and infuriating, as Triple H seems to know all the right buttons to push to piss us off.

  64. 'And it wouldn’t be an Edge intro without Tony
    Chimel popping a falsetto on “Superstar”'

    edge even pointed at chimmel and smiled when chimel did it

  65. It's like he's doing a SNL-style parody of Scott Keith. I can't believe Scott would let someone like this have free reign over the RAW recap.

    This is the last time I read a recap that is longer than the actual three hour long show it is describing, though.

  66. "Show walks off dejected so that Orton and Shield can give us the same ending as the last bajillion weeks."
    Bajillion = Four?

  67. Unless you're polling customers and asking them exactly why they're buying tickets/PPVs, isn't this all just guessing on who's drawing and who isn't?
    For example, I was leaning toward buying MITB because the ladder matches are traditionally great, and then the advertised return of RVD made it a definite. So who gets credit for "drawing" my money? The 10+ guys in the ladder matches? RVD? Or does it go to Cena since he was the face in the WWE title match?
    I get where it makes sense to generally credit a good or bad time of business to whoever is the champ or whoever is in the main event, but realistically, I think the product as a whole has to be the draw. Some people will buy tickets to a show because they want to see The Shield. Some people watched last night's RAW because they wanted to see Dolph Ziggler. Some people will buy Night of Champions because for whatever reason they think there will be a surprise return of Stone Cold.
    There's no way for any of us to know for sure that every fan is tuning in or out solely based on Bryan/Orton/HHH right now.

  68. HHH didn't believe in them. Shoot comments..

  69. Water under the fucking bridge.

    The worst part about this review (beyond aping Scott while ignoring what makes Scott great) is the mindless "smart" attitude combined with this incurable markishness towards the product.

    He's getting worked like a motherfucker and he doesn't even realize it.

  70. I like the enthusiasm in your reviews, and I enjoy reading them. I know that doing these things every week can be a grind, so your energy for the entire show is much appreciated from me.

    As for the issues some people seem to have with your snark. In my opinion, it's not about what you're poking fun at as much as where you're placing it in your reviews.

    Consider editing out a few of your lines and play it straight a bit more often in order to make your strong zingers stand out. It could help with the pacing of your work, as well.

    As for other constructive criticism, I would look at laying it out a bit differently on the page. This could be breaking up your match reviews in five-six line segments for longer matches, adding a space between the competitors and the body of the match, and even giving the star ratings their own paragraph along with your thoughts on the encounter. Oh, and the "stats" section could use some trimming. When the top match rating is ***1/2, you don't really need to make a "best match" category.

    You'll find your way and your comfort zone if you haven't already found it, just don't let everyone bring you down.

  71. The entire show goes up a full star rating for the giant swing.


Post a Comment