Impact
Wrestling
Date:
November 7, 2013
Location:
Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators:
Taz, Mike Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
It's
a big show this week for TNA as this is the start of their world
title tournament, perhaps the final Impact outside of Orlando for a
good while and it's the 500th episode. However, what has
TNA been focused on with their new Impact 365 dead? The fact that
Pacman Jones is back in TNA for a show or two.
For
those of you that aren't familiar with him, he's the guy that was
suspended from the NFL for a year and thought he'd make a quick buck
“wrestling” (read as standing on the apron and making a cover
here or there) in the mean time. Now he's famous for being a decent
football player that hasn't gotten arrested in a few years. He's
been the focus for TNA in their internet videos late. Let's get to
it.
We
open with Dixie in the back with Pacman when Mr. Anderson comes up.
He doesn't want any trouble but just a match with Bully. Dixie says
she can make that happen.
We
get a recap of AJ leaving and the announcement of the world title
tournament via a voiceover similar to a movie trailer.
Pacman
Jones and another Cincinnati Bengal are in the front row.
Here's
the Main Event Mafia, which is actually still a thing. Sting says
the Mafia has accomplished its goals of keeping Aces and 8's at bay
and taking the world title away from Bully Ray. Today he can say
mission accomplished, even though there has been a lot of trials and
tribulation along the way. As of today, the Mafia is being put back
up on the shelf. All of them have something they're doing at the
moment, such as Sting coming up short in the gauntlet match and the
other three all being in the world title tournament.
Sting
is going to be dealing with this thing called entitlement. He's
going to be dealing with those people that are trying to come in on
top without ever having to pay any dues. Sting has respect for this
business and hugs all three members of the team. He says he loves
Joe and Angle but only hugs Magnus before walking away. Joe takes
the mic and says he's been denied a world title for far too long.
The road to the title starts with Magnus and it's going to go through
Angle. They're all friends, but Joe is going to remind them why they
make far better enemies.
Magnus
says that Angle is on a road to redemption but it's also Magnus' road
to destiny. He loves Angle like a brother, but after he goes through
Joe, he'll mow Angle down if he has to. His goal is to become world
champion but the fans don't seem to have the same vision that Magnus
has.
Angle
is left alone in the ring and says Sting is right. They all have
their own goals and his is to become world champion once again. He
also wants to prove he's Hall of Fame worthy, but last week he
suffered a setback. Last week he was told he wasn't cleared to
compete, but since then he's talked to his personal doctor....but
here's Roode with an interruption.
Roode
says he's embarrassed for Kurt because he keeps having to make
excuses. Angle needs to be a man and admit that he's lost twice in a
row to the It Factor. Roode's goal is the world title as well, and
if he has to face Angle in the finals, he has no problem destroying
him for a third time. Angle is cool with that but doesn't want to
wait for the finals so the fight is on now.
Angle
is still in the ring after the break and says he'll wait in the ring
until he gets Bobby Roode even if it's until next week. Roode comes
right back out at him but security tries to break it up. The guys
are finally split up after a few moments but Angle sprints up the
ramp to get another piece. Joe, Magnus and Bad Influence come out to
try to split them up and both guys are finally taken to the back.
The
opening segment somehow keeps going with Bad Influence getting in the
Bengals' faces, only to have them come into the ring and slam Kaz and
Daniels down.
Garrett
and Knux say the condition of the club is none of the people's
business. Anderson comes up behind them and says that he just wants
to talk. He says what they did to him was the best thing they've
ever done to him. They need to get out of the club though because
this isn't what they started.
Velvet
Sky vs. ODB vs. Brooke
Winner
gets a title shot at some point in the future. Brooke and Velvet
shake it a bit to start so ODB chests them down. A double Bronco
Buster has Brooke and Sky in trouble but Brooke rolls ODB up for two.
ODB gets knocked to the floor so Velvet can get a neckbreaker for
two on Brooke. Velvet gets powerslammed down but Brooke takes her
down and drops a top rope elbow to ODB. Everyone is down so here are
Gail and Lei'D Tapa to watch as we take a break.
Back
with a three way slugout with ODB taking over. Both girls put a half
crab on Brooke at the same time. The alliance doesn't last long as
Velvet starts chopping away at ODB, only to be ran over again. ODB
slams Brooke onto Velvet but goes to the floor to yell at Tapa and
Kim. Brooke hits a dropkick through the ropes before clotheslining
Velvet down. Everyone is back inside now and Brooke hits a cross
body to take out both girls at once. Gail and Tapa get up on the
apron and Gail comes in to break up In Yo Face to Brooke for a DQ at
9:45.
Rating:
C-. Not the worst match in the
world but the ending sucked. Since when are there DQ's in a triple
threat match? Velvet and ODB were their usual selves but Brooke
looked a bit better than her typical performance here. The downside
here is how obvious it was that the division is dying for some fresh
blood though.
Post
match Gail and Tapa destroy everyone (save for some forearms from ODB
that staggered Tapa). Gail says it's clear she has no competition so
she's issuing an open challenge to anyone from outside the company
and if anyone beats her, they can have a title shot.
We
get a video from AJ Styles of a title defense in AAA in Mexico.
Bully
goes up to Knux and Garrett in the back and says he's tired of being
ignored. Knux goes on a rant about how this isn't their club anymore
but all about Bully. Ray says it's because he's president but Knux
demands a vote tonight from all three of them and Taz. Knux storms
off but Ray grabs Garrett and glares at him.
Dixie
is on the phone, yelling at someone to fix the person who is
humiliating her (presumably AJ). She hangs up when Ethan Carter III
comes in. Dixie says he's done a great job but they need to change
their plan a bit. Tonight he gets to pick his opponent which he
thinks will mean the end of the streak. Dixie says keep the
intensity up.
It's
time for the Aces and 8's vote. Ray comes out last and says his
catchphrase but Garrett cuts him off by saying yes, they do know who
he is. Before the vote can be taken, Anderson comes out to watch.
Garrett votes that he's finished and takes off his cut. Ray appeals
to Knux but Knux says he doesn't need Ray or the club. He takes off
the cut as well, leaving just Tazz and Ray in the club.
Ray
assumes that Tazz is going to vote with him, which Ray says we're
going to a tie, which goes to a president. Ray sucks up to Taz a bit
before saying Tazz knows how to do what his president tells him to
do. Tazz takes the mic and tells Ray to hit the brakes a little bit.
They've been friends for a long time but have always done the right
thing. The club has been about Bully's agenda alone for way too
long, so Tazz is done too. Ray says put those colors back on but
Tazz says make him.
Ray
yells at Anderson for ruining everything so Anderson throws out a
challenge for a No DQ fight at Turning Point. Bully talks about
Anderson looking up to Steve Austin, but Anderson has forgotten the
first rule. Garrett and Knux jump Anderson so Ray can whip him with
the chain while shouting DON'T TRUST ANYBODY. Ray says the Aces
catchphrase and the team is still together. Yes, SERIOUSLY.
Back
from a break with Bobby Roode coming up to the announce desk and
promising to take Angle out tonight.
Ethan
Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes
This
is another rematch for Carter. Ethan runs him over to start and
slams him face first into the mat out of a belly to back suplex.
There's a kick to the ribs but Dewey comes back with a dropkick in
the corner and a neckbreaker but his missile dropkick misses. The
Bulldog Driver (the 1 Percenter) ends Barnes at 2:25.
Joseph
Park is eating candy corn in the back when Bad Influence shows up.
Park says they're bullying him while they suggest he's Abyss. Richie
Incognito and Jonathan Martin (NFL players currently involved in a
bullying scandal) references are made until Eric Young comes in to
make science jokes and set up a tag team match.
Bad
Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park
Eric
gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other.
Park comes in for some work on the arm but it's back to Young for an
Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for
a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two.
Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on
the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside
and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a
clothesline to the back of the head.
A
Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park
but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other
again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there's a Boston Crab on
Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels
whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell
ringer's hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to
blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.
Rating:
D. Just a match here for the
most part with nothing significant happening at all. We've seen
these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been
accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the
difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so
far into the ground that they haven't been funny for months. Bad
Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which
keeps them feeling much fresher. It's a nice breather.
Post
break here's Angle again, saying he'll be out here if Roode wants a
piece. Instead he gets Austin Aries who says he respects everything
Angle has done, but if Angle doesn't bring his best, he has no
chance. Dixie pops up on screen and spins the Wheel of Dixie to make
it a submission match next week. Aries says good luck and walks away
but Roode comes in from behind to jump Angle and beat him down
against the steps. Aries makes the save so Angle will be at 100%
next week. That's nice of him. Angle throws Aries to the side to
get at Roode but so Aries goes after Kurt until security breaks it
up.
TNA
World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin
This
is Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA's version of TLC but you win by
pin or submission. Sabin is sent into a chair in the corner to knock
him to the floor, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron
to take Chris down again. Sabin comes back with a ladder to the ribs
as we head back inside for a rolling cutter onto the ladder for two
on Hardy. Jeff comes back with a backdrop to send Sabin onto the
ladder in the corner and blasts Sabin with a garbage can.
Jeff
sets up a table in the corner but Sabin hurricanranas out of whatever
Hardy was setting up. Hardy gets crotched on the top and is caught
in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can rip at his EARS. That's just painful
looking. A baseball slide dropkick sends a chair into Hardy's face
and Sabin stands on his groin in the corner. Hardy is able to blast
Sabin in the back with a chair despite hanging upside down in a nice
counter.
Poetry
in Motion connects in the corner and a clothesline sends Sabin out to
the floor. Hardy lays him on a table and goes up top but misses a
dive, crashing through the table as a result. Back in and Sabin puts
Hardy on a table but his splash hits knees. It still drives Jeff
through the table though so I'm not sure how much good it did him.
Jeff scores with a quick Twist of Fate and sets up the ladder for a
Swanton off the top to send him to the next round at 10:45.
Rating:
B-. This was exactly what it
was supposed to be. It wasn't anything that set the bar any higher,
but it was what they advertised it as: complete mayhem with both guys
destroying each other and a huge spot to end it. I fear for Jeff's
ability to move when he's 54 years old, but the entertainment is good
while it lasts.
Overall
Rating: C+. This was a much
better show than what TNA has been throwing at us lately but it was
far from perfect. I really liked the Angle vs. Roode stuff which
made me feel like they wanted to kill each other. It would be better
if they were meeting in the tournament, but there's always the chance
that they could cost one another their matches to set up a showdown
somewhere in the future.
On
the other hand, we have Aces and 8's. That's my problem with them:
they're still around. This group has been around nearly 18 months at
this point and shouldn't have made it half that long. I have no idea
why this team is still around and I have no idea what TNA sees in
them anymore. It's Ray and two goons who have never accomplished
anything on their own but we're still supposed to care about them?
Overall
the show was decent tonight but there was too much stuff that went
nowhere, such as pretty much everything other than the main event and
Angle vs. Roode. I liked tonight's episode, but I have zero faith in
TNA to make this last at all. Maybe it'll be good for a few weeks,
but long term planning is TNA's Kryptonite. Actually scratch that as
it would imply TNA is Superman. We'll say it's their......whatever
the weakness is of Carrotman.
Results
Gail
Kim vs. ODB vs. Brooke went to a no contest when Gail Kim interfered
Ethan
Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – 1 Percenter
Bad
Influence b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Crucifix to Park
Jeff
Hardy b. Chris Sabin – Swanton Bomb off the top of the ladder
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
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