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QOTD 59: White Buffalo (White Buffalo....)

Great White Buffalo....
(Great White Buffalo.....)

What's your Great White Buffalo?
(Great White Buffalo....)






 I have two, but we'll save the terribly heartbreaking one for another time. This is long. Feel free to ignore.

Jamie was a brilliant lass, the kind of gal who would say "Oh bother" when she dropped a pen, and sing along to whatever song was over the Student Center PA system - and on my speech and debate team. She was an actress and had a spirit that was was rare in salty Massachusetts, a Judy Gardland kind of elegance.

So naturally she had a boyfriend that didn't appreciate her. And he was fat and liked wrestling and wasn't creative. Holy shit, this girl was in my league.

I had a girlfriend at the time, too but was transfixed by this dame. I suppose at the age of 20 the idea of a "crush" was pretty stupid, but I had a major one. I actually ended up getting drunk for the first time ever with her following a tournament, and she regaled me with stories of the stage and her alternating dreams of being an ASL interpreter and an Actress. But she didn't think she was good enough to make it. Seriously, just rip my heart out now, you can have it. I felt a connection there, and I like to think maybe she got a hint of it too. How many (straight) men stay up with a gal all night talking and drinking screw drivers and blabbing about Queen and Billy Joel and Musical Theater? I was so inspired to impress this woman, I wrote a script that very night that turned into this very (bad) short film. 

My girlfriend ended up cheating on me during the epic 2005 AFC Championship collapse of the Patriots against the Colts, where she faked car trouble, insisted I stayed and watch the game, and proceeded to make out for hours with a guy whose name I can't remember that worked in the produce department of her grocery store.

Which set the stage for Texas, and a national speech and debate tournament. The week long tournament is a grind, and the last two days were spent drinking. Jamie was mighty upset with her boyfriend whom she was 'on a break with', and was pretty emotional the entire week. She was giddy for some of it, and there's nothing quite like a girl laughing out loud in professional attire.

 The night before the finals, Jamie knocks on our door asks if she can sleep in our room, as her roommate is busy have very loud sex with a very annoying man. My roommate and I say sure, and she takes my bed before kindly asking if I wouldn't mind taking the easy chair. Sure. I wake up the next day and Jamie's gone. I slip back into my bed only to awake with blood stains on my legs and Pajamas.

The roommate wastes no time teasing her about it, and I'm just meh on the whole subject, accidents happened. Who *hasn't* gotten period blood on the bed of a guy who's fawning after you, amirite? It explained the emotional part, at least.

The night came, and everyone begins to party, taking to the 5th floor pool, and pounding the hard stuff, ya know, Malibu Rum. The night winded down and I tried not to hover, but wanted to at least spend some time Jamie, whom by that point had been tipped off that I kind of dug the cut of her jib. I think she avoided me as she being perused by an Arminian fellow who purported to be a massage therapy major when he wasn't hitting on another one of the teammates with promises of the kacane.

The night came to a pleasant end for me, as I made it all the way to 2nd base with a pretty neat chick from Kansas. Still...I felt like I missed my 'shot'.

Until I got to my hotel room around 2am and saw Jamie's Malibu rum was on the floor. Call it liquid courage or post-coital confidence, the best idea in the world at the time was to knock on Jamie's door and let her know I had her rum.

*knock knock*

"Jamie, I have your rum, did you want to like, drink it or something?" Sandpaper is smoother than I am.

"No, but you can come in anyway," My heart and testicles jump out of my body and bounded downstairs to hit the hotel bar.

I don't remember what we talked about, but she was sad, upset she didn't make finals, upset with her life, upset the guy she was talking to chose our hot teammate over her, upset at a lot of things, PMSing, and I think I was probably the only one left on the team that was willing to listen. I was willing to listen, but instead I talked. Without telling her, I told her - she was brilliant, bright, full of life, she's rare in these here parts, one of a kind even, the kind of girl a dorky guy dreams about (I can't remember if I said that one).

There was a doe-eyed look to her sadness, which maybe I invented from countless movies, but it was the kind of look that said if I 'wanted' her, I could have her - any kind of tenderness would be welcome - even from a big, bronze medal sorta lug like me. I guess some stupid guilt complex or lesson ingrained as a kid about not taking advantage of vulnerable women gave me pause. I wanted her, I didn't think I wanted her this way. 

Before I could realize what a fucking idiotic idea that thought was, the door knocked three teammates stumbled in carrying the hot teammate who was high and drunk and crying after being led on by the Armenian fellow.  After that I still carried a torch for Jamie, but I knew in my head that stars would likely never align that properly again.

I look back at this whole situation with mixed feelings. I did not feel good about being mezmerized by a girl while I had a girlfriend. I did not feel good about how single minded I was about this after me and my girlfriend broke up. When you're crazy about someone you kind of lose a bit of sanity, and when you get it back and survey the situation with hindsight, you feel like kind of a dope.

Ultimately I'm not sure if I regret not being more direct. I think directness is the key to all perceived problems, but when you're in college and around the same 10 people every other day, the fear of making things awkward or being "the weird one" is a real one. I'm not sure if I had acted differently in that hotel room if things would have gone differently, or if she would have given a simple not interested. But in the proverbial moment the fear of reality forces you to cherish a pleasant fantasy instead of facing what could be a harsh truth.

I did feel good knowing there were girls like Jamie *out there*, with creativity and spark and passion and kindness and whimsy. I did feel good knowing that we stayed personable and there wasn't any real awkwardness, though it wasn't like we were good friends, either. I feel good knowing that regardless of whatever I did, my intentions were about her as a person and not her as a body. She was gorgeous because of who she was, though I've been told you call the smart ones pretty and the pretty ones smart, so who knows.

I consider this not my Great White Buffalo, but a white buffalo none-the-less, a situation that could have played out differently had different things occurred, and her eyes and the black and emerald pant suit she wore on the first day of the tournament flash into my head whenever I hear a Queen song, drink a screwdriver, or write overlong posts on wrestling blogs about girls I never caught, but got away anyway. The legacy of this experience was the knowledge that there *were* girls out there for me. Smart and pretty and fun and kind, eager to be good people, eager to make something of themselves, but not so perfect they're unobtainable.


A year later we're at the national tournament in Illinois,  I mention to her a guy who did a hilarious reading of a poem about getting old and dealing with erectile dysfunction. She meets the guy and says his reading came highly recommended. He moves halfway across the country to be with her later that year.

They're married now.


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1. Making up for lost time with two-a-QOTDs, and I figured if I'm going to over share, might as well do it with a supplementary question!








  

Comments

  1. Your_Favourite_LoserNovember 10, 2013 at 8:17 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BZHNWa3Vsw

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  2. Your_Favourite_LoserNovember 10, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    also made me think of this for some reason:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eWsFFQP0gA

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  3. That's what I was about going for!

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  4. Your_Favourite_LoserNovember 10, 2013 at 8:29 PM

    lots of emotion pouring from your story, and the overarching melancholy that emanates is another strong reason why i steer clear of putting myself out there. people say the reward is so worth it, but in my experience there's only failure, and to quote my mantra, "i don't believe in love, it's never worth the pain that you feel'

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzx4XzDGGVE

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  5. Tatanka (Buffalo)

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  6. Grammatically correct sentence: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

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  7. Ewwwww she kicked you out of your own bed, made you sleep on an easy chair and then fucking dribbled period blood all over bed...and then just disappeared in the morning with out saying anything about ruining your bed or thanking you for sleeping in chair???????? I don't like this girl, shes sounds like a total bitch. You're better off letting that go

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  8. Good read, for real.

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  9. I was going to say Your Favorite Loser should probably avoid this thread. Too late.

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  10. Lol. Pant suits are the WORST. That and those furry boot cut Uggs

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  11. This is going to all sound sappy and super cliched but I've found it's true. The pain, is good, feeling SOMETHING is good. It means you really did have something, felt love and while you lost you had those great experiences. It also beats the hell out of going through life numb. And having that, in that moment is fantastic. Even if it's not love, just an intense feeling for the opposite (or same) sex is great. There isn't just failure, you just aren't looking hard enough. This is going to sound harsh but you're taking the pussy way out and I guarantee you'll regret it later in life. Ask Paul if he regrets hanging out with that girl. Parallax is on divorce number 3 but I sure as hell know he's not giving up, no matter if the women are single or married. Ask around here, I'm sure while others have regrets on how they handled things, they don't regret putting themselves out there. Get out of this funk man and go get some strange!

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  12. Good story man, sorry how it turned out though. I'll be back later with my white buffalo story.

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  13. I am glad there are more than one of us here... what a cuntbeast.

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  14. TFL;DR

    Should have saved it for Exposition Of The Day thread.

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  15. Eh. AJ made pant suits work.

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  16. AJ has powers above that of mortal woman

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  17. Can....can we have one of those?

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  18. Ha. I'm stealing "cuntbeast." Might replace "cumdumpster" as my fallback insult. I needed a switch

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  19. I think you may be letting nostalgia color your judgement here my friend.

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  20. You should have just asked... who do you know more qualified to provide such information?

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  21. I'm at the airport waiting to get on a plane to California for a Buffy/Angel convention (yeah, yeah, ├╝ber nerd). In the terminal I see this women, let's call her Jenny, wearing a Buffy shirt. So I approached her and asked her if she was going to the con too. She was. We hit it off instantly, ended up switching seats so we could sit together and talk. Great girl, funny, smart, pretty.

    That weekend we spent a ton of time together, not only at the panels but at the parties upstairs at night. I never made a move though as I was a bit chickenshit and we were never really alone. Had a blast with her though, we exchanged info and promised to meet up, I live near Tampa, she lives near Tallahassee.

    I stay in California for a few months with friends there working odd jobs. Keep in touch with Jenny. I also had a one night affair with a women who was kinda a tv "star" but not that much. Anyway Jenny found out about it through a mutual friend and I could hear the dissapointment in her voice which killed me.

    So I go back to Florida and we plan to meet up and for me to stay at her house for her birthday weekend. I get there and I think it might be awkward but we don't skip a beat. I hang out with her at work that day and we go out for drinks. It was officially her birthday so I offered to drive and let her drink as much as she wanted. On the way vpback to her house she's drunk and blurts out "you know, I love you". I tense up and don't say anything back, shit!

    We get back to her place and she goes to bed and I go to sleep too. The next day things are going well again but no talk of last night. That night there was a party for her by her friends at a Restraunt and I get to meet them all and we have a good time. Afterwards a group of us go to a male strip club, not really my thing but Jenny had fun. Also the drag show was pretty funny.

    On the way back to her place I got the courage to ask her about what she said last night. "do you really love me?", her reply "yeah....as a friend". I was crushed, I don't know if she said that cuz she meant it or because she didn't know where I was and didn't want to get hurt.

    I almost made a move soon after but decided against it. I wish I had to get a definitive answer on where she was in all this. I left the next morning, we hugged and while we kept in touch a little, never met again. I still wish I had played things differently at certain points but I dunno if it would have led anywhere.

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  22. Number 2 motherfucker!

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  23. Sorry! Number 2. Point still stands, even if it was number 3 you would keep trying for the ladies. Or you might switch to guys to see if that might work, I dunno.

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  24. Are you hitting on me? Because it is going to take a lot more pizzas to have that be in the conversation.

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  25. "She's nuts. You made the right move." - The Guy Who Has Been Suggesting an Advice Column

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  26. Also you have mentioned the minor celebrity banging before... I am now guessing it is someone from Buffy or Angel

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  27. Fuck, I'm not even getting into this one, I've shared too much of my personal life as it is.

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  28. Oh without question it's Poo's sword in Earthbound. So many wasted hours.

    Oh you mean women? Fuck women.

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  29. That's generally the idea.

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  30. Same here. I have a couple... but I just don't want to get into it here.

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  31. I don't really have one because I was so chickenshit around girls in my youth that I never really got far enough for any of them to be "the one that got away". I had infatuations with girls who were usually out of my league and being of moderate coolnees with zero game, I was friendly with them but never on their radar. I was always so worried about what they'd say or if they'd laugh at me. Or if it was a girl my friends thought wasn't cool, I was then worried about what they'd say. It wasn't until years later I thought to myself "What the fuck was I afraid of?" If only my 29-year old brain could be in 16-year old me's body so I'd understand high school don't mean shit in the long run. I could've had sooooo much more fun in high school and college by just not giving a shit what others thought.

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  32. I really don't want to get into it at all.

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  33. We first crossed paths when we were 12, and you made it very well known that you liked me. I was stupid, held my cards close to the vest. But finding me hiding in the bushes next door to your house must have been a little.....weird.

    My first school dance, you just grabbed my arm and dragged me into the middle of the floor for "Cherish" by Kool and The Gang. I felt awesome. But again, I was stupid and continued to play the aloof idiot. Eventually, you lost interest. I never did.

    You got knocked up when you were 16, and had to drop out of school. I didn't see you again until we were 28. We had mutual friends. You see, I was trying to determine if my long-distance relationship was worth all my time and trouble. One night, I got to hang out with you all by myself...at your place...we watched Vertical Limit starring Chris O'Donnell...on your couch. Then we went for some Tim Horton's.

    One night, we made plans again. This time, I ditched you because my long-distance relationship was having a crisis and I "needed to be there". That was the last time we really spoke.

    I may have made a big mistake.

    We first crossed paths when we were 12, and you made it very well known that you liked me. I was stupid, held my cards close to the vest. But finding me hiding in the bushes next door to your house must have been a little.....weird.

    My first school dance, you just grabbed my arm and dragged me into the middle of the floor for "Cherish" by Kool and The Gang. I felt awesome. But again, I was stupid and continued to play the aloof idiot. Eventually, you lost interest. I never did.

    You got knocked up when you were 16, and had to drop out of school. I didn't see you again until we were 28. We had mutual friends. You see, I was trying to determine if my long-distance relationship was worth all my time and trouble. One night, I got to hang out with you all by myself...at your place...we watched Vertical Limit starring Chris O'Donnell...on your couch. Then we went for some Tim Horton's.

    One night, we made plans again. This time, I ditched you because my long-distance relationship was having a crisis and I "needed to be there". That was the last time we really spoke.

    I may have made a big mistake.

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  34. This! I used to have so much fear about asking a girl out and her saying no or laughing. Then in my early 20s I stopped giving a shit about that and realized the worst that happens is she says no and I move the fuck on. It was great shedding that fear. Also losing that "she's not in my league" mindset. She may not be, she may be much much hotter than myself. But again, worse thing that happens is she says no. Although I've found an 8 to be my ceiling. Doesn't mean I won't go talk to a 10.

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  35. Earthbound was such an awesome game. I played it a lot as a kid. I love how batshit crazy it was too. Poos zen mission, turning into robots because why the fuck not, etc.

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  36. You're in a good mood reading our heartbreaking, soul shattering, life changing, death defying, suicidal, homicidal, genocidal stories? Nice, real nice!

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  37. this is how i feel much of the time:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcYJqEgtP5I

    and it's just there's so much working against me. it would be one thing if i was in a rut or dry spell, but as i've explained before i've never even been in the dating pool, not even the less intimidating kiddie dating pool (wait, that sounds wrong...). i'm heading towards the tail end of my 30's. no real experience to speak of. woefully behind he curve on some of the most basic things that should be second nature. i'm 3 standard deviations out in more ways than one. would be full of nothing but wrong moves and mistakes. no better than a teenager (and even then a teen would have a leg up on me).



    any no woman got time fo' dat

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  38. I think an advice column round these parts could work. Maybe with more than one person giving the advice for multiple point of views? Or would that get too confusing? And I don't even want to know the question you get from Jesse would be and what advice you would give him.

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  39. The way I saw it was someone writes in, the poster gives his advice, the opens it up to the floor. This thread is basically that and so was Cucch's the other day... it generates a lot of conversation that isn't A+/Bryan's push so I think it could work.


    As for Jesse "Seek professional help" is my standing advice for him.

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  40. I haven't even read most of the comments for that very reason.

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  41. Truthfully... almost everyone seems as if they are better off never haven gotten the one that got away.

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  42. You should watch American Splendor sir.

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  43. we should have 'dear abby' but with mr. the butcher

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  44. Yeah, that could def work. By the way that's why you see me posting much more in the QOTD/real life threads than the wrestling threads (save for Live threads since those can enhance my enjoyment of the show). There's only so many times I can read about Bryan's push or HHH holding him down. I gave my opinion a couple of times weeks ago and anything else would be repetitive. I find more enjoyment in the alternate topics round here.

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  45. 'the worst that happens is she says no and I move the fuck on. It was
    great shedding that fear. Also losing that "she's not in my league"
    mindset.'

    see, my thing is that i have an extremely limited dating pool compared to the average guy, and don't have any wiggle room at all. and the older i get, the fewer available females there are. i'm legit being bred out of the population

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  46. Same here. We have been covering the same few wrestling topics for weeks now and it is done to DEATH. I like stuff like this way more, with the exception of the live threads of course... and as soon as I see either "Who is an A+" or "What about Bryan" I know exactly where we all stand and what we will all say.

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  47. why such a small dating pool?

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  48. height/age/lack of experience

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  49. I am 5'4" and we are roughly the same age... experience doesn't really matter much in these situations... just have to go for it. Nothing to lose. shit I do have potential loses right now and I still go for it.

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  50. But see you're missing my point a bit man. You're short or whatever, ok, fine. You can still go talk to the uber hot 6 foot chick. The worst that happens is she turns you down or giggles. So the fuck what. Fuck that bitch and go onto the next women.

    I am not a good looking man, I'm rather average, ask parallax. And if we are going full on taxicab confession here I'm below average in ahem certain ways. But that doesn't stop me from talking to a cute girl somewhere and seeing where the chips may fall. You gotta get rid of that fear and doubt, that's what's screwing with you. Confidence is sexy.

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  51. 'go get some strange!'

    the 'taming strange' ep of south park was pretty funny. overly pubescent ike actually was pretty good. i thought id' hate him not being a baby, but he won me over

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  52. i'm heading to bread, but as an attempt at levity and in honor of kool and the gang being mentioned, i'll just leave this right here

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzURH-yOtKs

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  53. So you're behind the curve, I get that and I get that that has to be scary. But do you really want to be on your deathbed in this same place in life? You have to start somewhere and while it may be scary as hell it is worth it. And trust me, the learning curve isn't that steep. After a few shots at bat and giving forth some effort you'll be on your way. And you'll be surprised what women who have been dicked around by life have time for.

    I know you seem against it and I get it but you may want to consider going the escort route. I'm not pushing, just a suggestion. You'll get your first time jitters out of the way and the girl won't care if your a virgin. You could also ask her to teach you some things and help you along.

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  54. Everyone is totally welcome to send me advice questions! Meekinonmovies@gmail.com

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  55. Yeah, Ike going through Canadian puberty was funny when it was mixed in with normal kids stuff. I also liked the Canadian health guys story.

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  56. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 11, 2013 at 12:28 AM

    One time I peed in a girl's butt.

    I win the thread.

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  57. Yeah, I'd much rather just get rejected than get into a relationship that goes to complete shit, no matter how great the sex might be.

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  58. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 11, 2013 at 1:01 AM

    Threadjack:

    Either this is old news, or it's the best new GIF:

    https://images.encyclopediadramatica.es/thumb/0/03/Wrestling_credits.gif/250px-Wrestling_credits.gif

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